Epilogue 6: Relay

Part 1 (Emi)

It's been almost two months since we filled out the paperwork for our daughter. We just received word that the adoption has been approved and she will be coming to live with us next week. We're very excited, but also very stressed.

Luckily, after meeting her we did a lot of things to get the house ready. We baby proofed most of the house, we painted the bedroom, we got a crib and various other pieces of furniture she will need. But there's still some stuff that needs to be done before she comes so we've kind of been scrambling around for the last several days to make sure everything is ready for her.

My mom and Sho have been a big help. I guess there was some upside to my mother being obsessed with having a grandchild for so long. Now that she has one, she's doing everything she can to help, and she's definitely going to spoil her. She's going to be over a lot during these first few weeks and I'm thankful for that, even if she will undoubtedly get on my nerves. Luckily Hisao largely seems to be immune to getting annoyed with her.

Hisao's parents will also come visit at some point in the next few weeks to meet her, as will Chisato and Mitsuru. Rin has even said that she wants to stop by, which was honestly a little surprising. I can't remember that she came to visit me, but I guess even Rin is excited about this. In her own way.

"Alright, I finished putting the changing table together. Is there anything else we want to knock out today?"

"We need to go to the store and stock up on baby things, but maybe that can wait until tomorrow." Hisao looks tired and I know I am. "Let's at least take a little break."

I lie down on the couch, take off my legs, and beckon him to join me. By this point, he knows that means I want him to lie down and hold me from behind. It's something we did on this very same couch on our first date, and it has always been one of my favorite things to do with him. It always soothes me.

He smiles and obliges to my request. I can't help but giggle when he pulls me as close to him as possible.

"We've only got a few more nights as a childless couple. Don't we have to stop having sex once we have a kid?"

I laugh. "Is that in one of our books about being parents? I know I certainly don't want to stop. But I would imagine we will have less energy for it."

He kisses my neck which feels amazing, "I don't want to stop either."

"I can see that. In fact, it seems like you want to start right now."

He kisses my neck, a little lower this time, and moves one of his arms so that it is right under my breasts. The combination makes me sigh softly.

"What makes you say that?"

"Oh, I dunno, where you're kissing me, where your arm is, and the beginnings of a very familiar bulge in your pants."

He kisses me now on my shoulder. "Hmm. That does seem to be some pretty good evidence."

I turn around to face him and reach down to feel the evidence in his pants. He sighs happily when I do.

I giggle. "I think it's safe to say that I've found some hard evidence." I give him a little squeeze. "I really love that you still get so excited by me."

He looks genuinely confused by my statement and brushes my hair out of my face and puts his hand on my cheek.

"Of course I do. You're the most attractive woman on the planet."

I blush and it makes him smile. The best part is that I know he really means it.

"I love that I can still make you blush like that."

I smile at him and begin rubbing him through his pants more firmly causing him to moan softly.

"It looks like you're the one blushing now, mister. You're even making lewd faces."

I start to undo his belt just as he goes to take off my shirt. We giggle about it, and I let him go first. He takes off my shirt and quickly does away with my bra, too. He starts running his hands all over me. It makes me forget what I was doing for a moment.

Eventually I remember, and I finish undoing his belt and then unbutton and unzip his pants. I slide my hand beneath both his pants and boxers and make contact with him directly. I wrap my hand around him and start stroking just as he pulls me towards him. He plants his face on my chest and starts kissing and licking my nipples. His hands start to wander towards my lower body, and he starts to slide my shorts off. I adjust my position so this is easier for him.

I take this opportunity to also remove his pants and shirt, and now we are lying together in nothing but our underwear, fondling one another in our most sensitive places.

There's always something oddly nostalgic and comforting about doing this with him. Probably because we didn't actually have sex until we had been together for quite a long time, so for awhile this is as far as we would go. It brings me back to those early days when we do this.

But still, now that I know the joy of making love with him, I can't just stop here, and I know he can't either. I get on my knees and slide off my panties, and he slides off of his boxers.

I climb into his lap and slowly lower myself onto him, with both of us panting in anticipation for the moment when he is fully inside of me. Once he is, we both gasp happily. I put my arms around his neck and kiss him as I move up and down on top of him.

He wraps his arms tightly around me, pressing our bodies together. Then he surprises me by standing up while he is still inside of me. He holds my body and begins moving me up and down with his arms, completely controlling the situation. I lose myself in it for several minutes, loving how it feels for him to move my body however he wants.

This goes on for a while, but I am broken out of my sex-crazed stupor by the sound of him starting to breathe heavily. We're both loving this, but he needs to stop. He's doing too much work. I have a hard time gathering my faculties enough to speak, but I manage to put my hand on his chest and say:

"S-siit…down…"

He comes out of his own stupor looking a little ashamed. Then he nods and we return to the couch. I put my head on his chest to hear his heart, and it is definitely beating more quickly than we want it to be. I softly kiss him for a while, waiting for the rhythm to return to normal. Once it does, I start moving myself up and down on top of him again. He grips me tightly around the waist with his hands and I can tell he wants to do more, but then he realizes he should just let me take over given what just happened. I accelerate the speed of my actions and I clutch his face to my chest as I near climax. He kisses my nipples and tightly grips my butt, and that pushes me over the edge. My legs and stomach twitch with pleasure before my insides start to convulse with him inside of me. I moan his name. As my insides clench around him, I feel him reach completion too. He clutches me even more tightly and I feel him pulse inside of me several times as a warm feeling envelops my insides.

I stay on top of him for several more minutes. We continue to enjoy the sensation of being connected as we hold each other and softly kiss.

Eventually, I reluctantly climb off of him, and I go right back to laying on the couch the way I was when this all started, only naked this time. He gets the hint and sidles up behind me.

I reach back to put a hand on his cheek. "That was amazing as always."

"Yeah, it was." He grimaces slightly. "Sorry I messed up like that. I should have stopped on my own. I wasn't thinking."

"That's okay. As long as one of us can make our brain work in those moments, that's all we need. That's the first time you've overdone it for quite some time, so we are doing a pretty good job. But now that you also have a daughter who will be relying on you, we should be extra careful."

"You're right. I need to be more careful in general. I mean, I'm doing well overall, but our little girl certainly gives me some extra motivation."

He kisses the back of my head softly and hugs me tightly.

"We're going to be parents very soon. It's gonna be a challenge, but I know we can do it together, and it's gonna be great."

I turn around so I can kiss him. "I'm really glad we're doing this. I can't wait until she is here with us."

He smiles at me and strokes my hair. "Well, luckily we don't have to wait too much longer."

—-

"Is everything ready?"

Hisao nods. "Yep, we are definitely ready for a baby. We've got everything we need. I even made sure we had lots of formula in bottles ready to go so she can have something to eat right when she gets here."

Our daughter is coming to live with us today. The social worker who conducted our interview is on her way now and should be here within an hour. I'm starting to get nervous. I'm very excited of course, but now that this is imminent, I'm a little worried about handling her health. What if we can't do this?

"W-we have her medications too, right? A-and all the things she needs to wear on her joints?"

Hisao walks up behind me and hugs me from behind. It makes me feel a little better.

"Yes, we have everything, I have checked a lot because I'm nervous too. Sho was able to get that stuff very easily and she even already has a pediatrician at the children's hospital in Sendai. She sees her in a few days, and we can even call her tonight if there's any emergency. If we were really concerned I'm sure Sho would be here in a flash too."

It's funny that he was really worried about all of this ahead of time, but now that the moment is here, he's ready for it. Now I'm the one freaking out. I guess it's good we didn't freak out at the same time.

"You're right. I-I just wanna make sure we do the best job caring for her."

Hisao kisses the top of my head.

"We're going to do the best we can. And I think that's pretty damn good. We're going to love her so much and do whatever we can to give her the best life possible."

He sounds incredibly confident, which is helping me feel the same. I put my hand on his.

"Yeah, you're right. We've got this."

Before long, Ms. Yamaguchi arrives at our door holding our little girl. Ms. Yamaguchi has a huge smile on her face. I get the feeling that she wouldn't normally be the person doing this, but she liked us so much from our interview that she wanted to be here for this moment. But, maybe she just happens to have another interview in the area.

Our daughter has grown a lot in the time since we last saw her and seems much more aware of the world around her. She is holding her neck up on her own and looking around. In addition to the braces on her joints, she is also now wearing one on her torso for her scoliosis.

Once we get them in the door, Ms. Yamaguchi immediately hands her over to me. Hisao comes to my side as we observe our daughter together, both of us wearing huge smiles. I feel the overwhelming feeling of love I felt when I met her. She's so beautiful. I want to do anything I can for her to make her happy. I want to protect her. She isn't always going to have it easy in life, but we'll do whatever we can to help. She's our daughter.

"I'm very happy I decided to bring her. Just seeing the smiles on your faces makes the drive worth it."

Well, that confirms my suspicion. I blush a little.

"Yes, we're really happy. Beyond happy, even. Thank you so much for everything. We wouldn't be having this moment without you."

She waves her hand dismissively, "I think anyone who interviewed you two would have done the same. Unfortunately, I have to go quite soon. Is there anything you need any help with? Or any questions you have?"

Hisao responds, "I think we are in good shape, actually. We have been nervous and over prepared as a result."

She smiles, "Great! Well, congratulations. I know she's in good hands."

Ms. Yamaguchi leaves and for the first time, we are alone in our house with our daughter. I start to feel a little anxious, especially because she starts crying the moment the social worker leaves. Luckily Hisao is a little more level-headed than me right now.

"I bet she's hungry. I will bring her a bottle. Why don't you sit down with her?"

I do as Hisao suggests, and before long he brings a bottle. She happily drinks from it when it is presented to her, gulping it down so quickly that I check the bottle to make sure it isn't leaking. She promptly falls asleep in my arms once she finishes.

Hisao laughs and whispers, "I know she doesn't actually have any of your genetic material, but seeing that, you could have fooled me."

I stifle a laugh. "Yeah, I guess eating really fast and dozing off means she fits in quite well with her mother. Should we move her to her crib?"

Hisao nods and we walk together to her room. I gently put her down in her crib. Hisao stands next to me with his arm around me as we look down at our little bundle of joy.

I whisper to her, "Welcome to your new home, Kayoko. We love you so much."

—-

Hisao is out running some errands and I'm home with Kayoko and my mother. I am trying to take a nap while my mom is with her, but I'm just tossing and turning despite being exhausted. As is usually the case when a couple has a new baby, we haven't been sleeping a whole lot.

Caring for an infant is hard. Especially an infant who has chronic pain. To say she cries a lot would be an understatement, and it is heartbreaking to know that much of the time she's crying because she hurts. She wakes up crying 4 or 5 times every night. Luckily, she can take some anti-inflammatories now and they help, but I wish there was something more we could do.

I have some experience with chronic pain myself. My phantom limb pain was bad until my mid-20s. But I was old enough when it started to at least understand what was happening. Kayoko isn't so lucky. Hers will probably also last for her entire life. Not being able to do anything about that is tough.

Right now, she isn't annoyed by any of her braces, and she doesn't really try to take them off. As she gets older she will become more aware of them and probably start trying to get out of them. But I really don't need to be worrying about that right now.

I need to stop thinking about all these things if I'm ever going to get some sleep.

—-

Part 2 (Hisao)

I just pulled up to our house after going to the supermarket. I quietly enter the house and see Meiko sitting on the couch with Kayoko on her knees. She is smiling down at her. Kayoko is sleepily looking right back with a small smile of her own. It's only been a few days, but Meiko has already proven to be a great grandmother. She's been here a lot and it has been a big help.

After I put everything away, I join them on the couch and tickle Kayoko's chest with my finger.

"Are we having a nice time with Grandma Meiko?"

Meiko winces slightly, "I'm still not used to being called grandma."

"I'm surprised you weren't prepared. Haven't you wanted us to have a child since the minute Emi ran into me on my first day working at Yamaku?"

She laughs, "Yes, I have wanted a grandchild for quite some time, but somehow I overlooked the fact that that would make me a grandmother. I know that doesn't make sense, but that's how it is. It just makes me sound so…old."

I'm not really sure how to respond to that. So I'm just going to move past it.

"Is Emi lying down?"

"Yes. The poor dear looked quite worn out."

"Yeah. We knew we wouldn't be getting good sleep, but knowing somehow doesn't prepare you for it. I guess it's kind of like your grandma thing." I try and fail to stifle a yawn.

"Why don't you go lay down too?"

"Are you sure?"

She looks down at a sleeping Kayoko and smiles, "Yes. I am happy to spend time with her. Plus, at the end of the day I get to go home and get a good night's sleep, unlike you."

"Okay. Thanks a lot Meiko. You might not be used to the word, but you're already an amazing grandmother."

She smiles at me, "Thank you. Now go sleep with your wife." Her eyes get their usual mischievous twinkle when she says such things. "I mean that literally, of course."

I leave the living room and enter our bedroom as quietly as I can. Emi looks like she's asleep, but she opens her eyes the minute I open the door.

"Did I wake you up?"

"No. I'm having a hard time sleeping even though I'm exhausted. I'm all antsy. I can't quite turn my brain off. Lots of racing thoughts."

I get into the bed with her and hold her from behind. This usually does a great job of putting her to sleep, even after her recurring nightmare. I hope I can help her.

"Yeah, I kinda know what you mean. We have a lot of responsibility now for that little person out there. Hard not to think about what exactly that means, and what it will mean as she gets older. But I think we're doing a really great job."

"Yep. I'm glad my mom's helping so much. Very nice of her to let you take a nap too. Plus, you holding me like that is already making me feel a lot better."

Success!

"Well, why don't we try to have a little nap? Your mom basically ordered me to."

I think I'll leave out the fact that her exact words were 'go sleep with your wife.'

"That's a good idea. Sleep well, Hisao. Love you."

"Love you too, Emi."

—-

Kayoko has been with us for about a week now. She's going to meet my parents today, who are coming to visit for a few days. So far, Emi's mom and Sho have done most of the helping so I'm glad to give them a break. It's pretty nice that our family is helping us so much with this transition. All of them have wanted a grandchild for a while. After all, their children didn't end up with a kid until they were almost 40. Now that she's here, they're pretty desperate to spend time with her.

Emi is next to me on the couch holding Kayoko who has drifted off to sleep in her mother's arms. It's a beautiful sight that I can't help smiling at. I put my arm around her, and she leans into me while holding the baby.

"You two looked really cozy. I was jealous."

"Oh? We can't have that. Daddy has to get snuggles too." She says this more to Kayoko than to me, I can tell from the cute voice she used.

"How are you feeling? I know you slept less than I did last night. You can go take a nap, you know."

For the first few nights, we always got up together to take care of Kayoko, but we realized that was kind of inefficient and made us both more exhausted than necessary. We figured it would be better if we split the workload a little bit. So now, each time she wakes up at night, we alternate who takes care of her. Last night, one of the times Emi got up lasted over an hour. She wasn't interested in going back to sleep. She was probably in pain, but she couldn't take any medication yet. Eventually Emi was able to give her medication and a bottle and that combination put her back to sleep.

"I'm okay. I'm gonna stay up, your parents will be her soon, won't they?"

"Well, yeah. But they would understand if you were taking a nap when they got here."

She responds with a hint of annoyance in her voice. "I know they would Hisao, but I'd like to see them meet their granddaughter for the first time."

She has been a little bit crankier than normal today, but that's what sleep deprivation will do to you.

"Oh. Yeah, good point. Try and take a little nap later, okay? Especially because we'll have extra help." She gives me an unconvincing nod.

About 20 minutes later, my parents knock on the door. Now I'm on the couch with a sleeping Kayoko, so Emi gets the door.

Emi hugs them both and greets them with hugs. "Welcome grandma and grandpa, I hope the drive wasn't too long."

My mother replies somewhat impatiently, "We would have driven a lot longer to see our granddaughter. Where is she?"

Emi laughs, "She's with her daddy in the living room. She's sleeping right now. Come on, let's go meet her."

Emi and both of my parents come into the living room, all wearing beautiful smiles. They stand still for a moment while they observe me. My mother seems to be particularly moved by the sight of me holding a baby, as she seems to be fighting off tears. After a few moments, my mother and father come and sit on either side of me, and Emi stands behind the couch directly behind me.

My father whispers, "We had seen the pictures of her of course, but she's even more beautiful in person."

"Do you want to hold her?"

My father laughs, "I do, but your mother might kill me if I hold the baby before she does."

I turn to my mother and she simply nods, confirming that she has to go first, so I turn to her and put Kayoko in her arms.

She whispers, "I-is there anything I need to be careful about?"

Emi replies, "Not really. Just keep holding her and there's really nothing to worry about."

My mother nods, and becomes very stiff. Apparently she interpreted that as meaning she shouldn't move a muscle.

"Mom, you don't have to stay in that exact position. She is a little more fragile than most babies for sure, but she isn't made of glass."

My mother gives me an embarrassed nod and relaxes herself, sitting more comfortably on the couch and smiling down at Kayoko. Is she going to call her 'Kaychan'?

My dad asks, "How are you two doing? The first week we had Hisao at home was kind of a nightmare."

I laugh, "It has been challenging for sure. We have learned to operate on less sleep." I take one of Emi's hands, which is resting on the couch, "But we're doing pretty well, all things considered."

Emi nods, "It's easy to give up sleep when she's this cute."

My father chuckles, "Yes, Hisao wasn't nearly as cute as she is. So, it was a lot harder."

Emi giggles and I roll my eyes at my father. She thinks my parents are so funny when they do things that annoy me. I can't complain too much though, because her mom annoys the hell out of her, and I think she's hilarious. So, things even out in the end.

My father gets up and sits next to my mother. "Can I have a turn, dear?"

At first my mother gives my father an annoyed look. Clearly, she doesn't feel she has had enough time with her granddaughter. Eventually, she reluctantly hands Kayoko over to him.

Not long after she changes hands, Kayoko wakes up and starts crying. My dad tries his best to soothe her by rocking her back and forth, but she'll have none of that. My mom had a smug look on her face and doesn't look interested in helping. He looks to me and Emi for help.

"Oh, I'm sure she's hungry. I'll go get a bottle for her."

Emi comes back in short order with a bottle, "Do you want to feed her grandpa?"

He nods and takes the bottle, and Kayoko happily drinks from it. My father looks very relieved.

"I'm glad she was just hungry and not crying because I was holding her. It's been a while since I've fed a baby. Is it just me or is she a really fast drinker?"

"Yes, she can be quite voracious sometimes. Our theory is that she takes after Emi somehow."

Both of my parents laugh, and Emi blushes a little. She's still a little embarrassed that my parents saw the true way she eats once.

Before long, Kayoko finishes her bottle. Emi hands my dad a towel and he deftly burps her.

"You're…better at this than I thought you would be, dad."

"What's that supposed to mean? It may have been a while, but I've burped you many times. It isn't something you forget."

My dad goes back to holding her and she starts to get drowsy.

"Do you two want to take a rest? We're here to help, after all."

"Mom, you two also just had a rather long drive to get here. You don't have to start helping right away."

My father waves dismissively, "Nonsense. We are both filled with energy now that we're here with her. You two go rest."

I'm not one to turn down such a nice offer, but Emi looks uneasy at the prospect of leaving them alone with Kayoko. I wonder if she'd feel better if I stayed? My parents don't know all the ins and outs of this operation yet. Things are complicated enough that they sort of need an orientation.

"Do you want to go lie down, Emi? I'll stay out here and show them around."

She thinks about this for a moment, and eventually her fatigue gets the better of her.

"Yeah, I'll go rest." She gives me a quick kiss. "I'm really excited you two are here. I promise I'll be back soon."

My parents smile at her, "Take all the time you need, dear."

—-

Part 3 (Emi)

Kayoko is crying, and it's my turn to take care of her since Hisao did it last time. I quickly grab my legs and put them on. I've had prosthetic legs for almost 30 years at this point so putting them on is pretty much second nature to me. Over the last month I've gotten even more efficient at doing it while I'm drowsy in the middle of the night.

As I start to wake up more, I realize her crying sounds different than it usually does. It sounds more strained, so I rush to her room, "Kayoko, sweetie? Mommy's coming."

When I get to her crib and look at her, I immediately identify what's wrong. She's crying like this because she's in a lot of pain. Her arm below the elbow is at an odd angle and she isn't moving it. Her elbow isn't shaped how it should be. Instead of being round, the bottom part of her elbow is jutting out. This is a tell-tale sign that it's dislocated. The good news is there isn't any bruising or swelling yet, so it probably just happened.

Shit. We have made it this far without any dislocations. I knew this would happen, especially as she is getting more and more active. I made sure to refresh myself as much as I could on fixing dislocations, especially in children. I even did a little workshop with Sho and some of his colleagues, so I know I can fix it. But this really sucks. Mostly because I know I am going to hurt her when I put it back in place. Causing my daughter pain is not something I want to be doing. Of course, she's already in pain from the dislocation. That makes it a little easier.

I'm going to wake up Hisao. I don't love doing it since he has work tomorrow, but I think I'm going to need moral support. He's not really going to mind, either because he's such a good dad and husband.

I go back to the bed and pat on Hisao's shoulder gently. He must only have been half asleep because he responds fairly quickly. Makes sense, even when it is his turn to get up and take care of Kayoko I know I'm not fully asleep. He gets a concerned look on his face when he sees me and hears Kayoko.

"...Everything okay?"

"Yeah, nothing really serious. But, um…she dislocated her elbow. I can fix it, but I could use your help."

Hisao quickly sits up and looks serious, "Okay, let's do this."

We go back to Kayoko, where the situation is the same.

"What do you need me to do?"

"I um…I don't know. I'm mostly really dreading doing this. It is going to hurt her, so I kind of just wanted you here with me."

He puts his hand on my back.

"Yeah, I know this sucks. But look at it this way, she has to get immunizations and stuff too, those hurt but they help her, right?"

I get what he's trying to do, but he's missing the point.

"Yeah…I guess. I'm not the one jabbing her with those needles though. I don't like doing something to her that I know is going to hurt like hell, even if it is what has to be done."

He nods, looking sort of defeated. "Yeah, I'm sorry. That does suck. I wouldn't like doing it either."

Him commiserating with me makes me feel a lot better than him trying to tell me it isn't a big deal.

I sigh, "But I have to do it. I will do it. She's already in pain right now anyway. Okay, can you get her and put her on her tummy on the changing table? I'll hold on to her arm while you move her."

Hisao nods with a serious look on his face. He picks her up and does as I instructed. She already isn't happy about how we have positioned her. Hisao does his best to soothe her by lightly stroking the back of her head with his hands, and it is surprisingly effective. The man is good at soothing people, I know first hand.

I sigh and try to psych myself up, "Okay, here goes." I remove her elbow brace. Then, with her arm dangling off the changing table, I hold the back of her elbow in one hand and the end of her wrist in the other. I have to be careful not to also dislocate her wrist when I'm doing this. I slowly and gently guide her elbow back into the socket. The moment it goes back in place, Kayako lets out a pained cry that makes me wince and for a brief moment I feel like my heart is going to literally break. But it is a very brief. Right after that she stops crying. I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Okay, I got it."

I gently pick her up and hold her. Right now, she doesn't look like anything out of the ordinary has happened to her. She's even smiling at me. That's a relief. Maybe she understands more than I give her credit for? Can a four-month old really understand that I was helping her? Probably not but telling myself she does makes me feel a little better.

"Can you go get an ice pack? We're going to need to ice it to help with swelling. She can also have her medication now, so that's good. We'll need to take her to the doctor tomorrow so they can make sure there isn't any damage. They may also need to give her a sling or something, but hopefully not. The poor girl already has to wear so many other things."

Hisao nods and comes back with her medication and ice wrapped in a towel. He gives her the medication while I hold her. Then, he puts the ice on her elbow and she doesn't seem to mind too much.

Hisao puts his arm around me and kisses my forehead, "That was really amazing. You did great. She did too."

I smile, "We did, didn't we?"

"If you want, you can get back into bed and I'll keep icing it for a while."

Now that the moment has passed, I do feel incredibly tired. I find it difficult to refuse his offer.

"Okay." I hand him Kayoko, and he sits down with her in the rocking chair with the ice on her elbow. They both seem very calm. I head back to bed.

I get back into bed feeling much better about everything. I feel surer than ever that we can do this together. I was dreading the first time she had a dislocation that I had to fix, but it wasn't quite as bad as I expected. She's a tough little baby. I guess she would need to be at this point.