What If They Were Competent?

by Mr. Chaos

The Stipulation: One chapter a day. 500 words or less. Every episode of Rugrats. The Challenge: What if the adults on Rugrats were actually good parents? Watched their kids? Thought ahead? DIDN'T think it was fine for babies to nearly die every 5 days? Tommy is about to have a very different life with Stu and Didi actually using their brains.

100. Cuffed

Cuffed

"Would you look at this toy that Frank at work wanted to donate to kids?" Drew said, passing the box over to Stu. With Pickles Toys doing so well Stu had decided to donate some of his simpler and more basic inventions to some really needy kids. Christmas was coming up and the Pickle brothers wanted to ensure that every child had a Merry Christmas.

"Handcuffs?" Stu asked. "What's the big deal? I was thinking of giving out a few sets myself with my Lil Officer Kit."

"Yeah, but look them over," Drew said.

All at once Stu groaned as he stared more carefully at the box. "A key? A tiny, easy to lose key?"

"Ignoring the choking hazard," Drew said with a roll of his eyes, "you lose that key and suddenly you have a kid with a handcuff stuck on their wrist. And they could get cuffed to someone else… or something. Imagine there is a fire but your baby is handcuffed to their bed!"

"Eeesh," Stu said, taking the box and popping it open. "Want me to modify these? Pretty sure I could install a button."

"If it won't cost too much… otherwise we'll just toss'em." Drew shook his head. "I can't believe what things people think are good toys for kids."

"Yeah… but at least we caught this one," Stu said. "So, still going to get Angelica involved in handing the toys out?"

"I think so. She gave me her birthday list and there were more toys than there are people in town! I think she really needs to see that there is more to life than gifts and there are children far less fortunate than her."

"Heck, that's kind of a Pickle's tradition at this point," Stu said, tossing the handcuffs on his workbench. "Remember when Pop got us to volunteer to serve Thanksgiving Dinner at that homeless shelter?"

Chuckie, meanwhile, suddenly looked up, sensing he'd just avoided a lot of pain and suffering.

But that was honestly a normal feeling when he didn't see Tommy or Angelica for a day.

~MC~MC~MC~

PPPPPFFFFT!

Melinda Finster frowned. "Why does that baby soul have a noise maker in his mouth?"

"100th Chapter," Mr. Chaos stated.

"…you do realize you are a grown man writing about babies, right? You really want to celebrate that?"

"…"

~MC~MC~MC~

"You know Didi, I've been thinking," Chas said, "maybe its time I considered dating again."

~MC~MC~MC~

Mr. Chaos smirked at Melinda.

"What?" she asked. "Am I supposed to be upset? I want Chas to be happy. I don't expect him to mourn me forever. The greatest power death has is to make the living want to stop. I would love nothing more than for Chas to find someone he loves and who loves Chuckie. And I will be the first one to greet her when she arrives here and thank her for taking care of him and my son when I couldn't-are you crying?"

"N-no," Mr. Chaos lied.