(A/N): Hey Guys! WOAH, ANGST.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Elaine, Nicholai, Shari, Mia and a very angst-y Leo.

Leo

After watching Brooke win over the thick-headed Slytherin girl, the rest of the games had ended for the day, and the house tables appeared in their positions once more.

"Only one more day of trials before the real tournament begins, Moony." Elaine reminded Remus, who simply shrugged.

"Plus the Free day after that." I added, and Remus nodded.

"One day without any chess, Sirius must be crying from relief." We had found out, over the previous days, that Sirius hated chess almost as much as I did.

"Yeah, that or wetting himself." Elaine and I raised an eyebrow at Remus after he said this.

"How so?" I asked, and he seemed a little surprised.

"Did I say that out loud?" Elaine rolled her eyes and I shook my head.

"Only you Moony." I muttered, turning back to the last of the five book on animagi I had left to read, almost finished with it.

"What do we do after we finish these books anyway?" Elaine asked, and we both glanced at her. "Do we just jump in and start trying to transform, or what?" Remus and I looked to each other before back to her and shrugging.

"Didn't think that far ahead, did we?" I asked rhetorically, and Remus nodded.

"We figured it would just come to us." Elaine rolled her eyes in frustration.

"Sometimes, I swear, you two are just like those Marauder boys." Remus grinned at her, his usually wise looked transformed into a goofy expression of happiness.

"I am one of those Marauder boys, Elaine." She stared at him for a second, as if she wanted to say something before shrugging to herself.

"You should have some sort of trademark thing." I suggested, and he raised an eyebrow at me.

"Like what, a talking map?" I considered it for a second.

"Not a talking one, it could give away your position." The other two stared at me like I was crazy.

"I'll be sure to put that out there the next time I talk to them." I smirked at him, closing my book as I heard footsteps approaching.

"You better think of a better sales pitch than that, they're almost here." Their eyes widened, and they snapped their books shut, shoving them in their school bags before we sat there, trying to look innocent.

"Hey guys, miss me?!" Sirius yelled as he pushed the door open, arms outstretched as if to welcome applause, the others trailing behind him, shaking their heads.

"Yeah Sirius, it's been a real chore." Elaine muttered, her tone dry.

"So, what have you guys been up to?" James asked, sidling up next to us, one hand on my shoulder, the other on Elaine's.

"Just because your related to me James, don't think I'll even hesitate to take your arse down." Elaine threatened, and James removed his hand rather quickly.

"How about you Leo? What have you been up to?" He asked, moving closer to me slightly, but I just stared up at him, my face blank and humorless.

"Remmy?" James pleaded with his friend, almost desperately, and I resisted the smile I felt coming on.

"Sorry James, but you know every secret I'm willing to tell you." James pouted, and slunk down.

"One secret. Why do you guys have to be so secretive?" Lily asked, hands on her hips as she stared at us from by the door. "Wouldn't it be easier to just tell us?" I narrowed my eyes at her slightly, almost beyond my control. She was my best friend, but why did she have to be so goddamn pushy?

"Sorry Lils, but some secrets we're not comfortable telling anyone but each other." She glared at me now, and I could tell, by the smell of her that she was infuriated.

"Why?" I stared at her, and she thought I didn't understand, so she repeated it. "Why can't you-?" I cut her off, standing up quickly, my chair almost falling over as I did so.

"Because I don't want to lose you as a friend Lily!" I exclaimed, and she stared at me again, her eyes wider than usual, out of surprise.

"Leo-" I cut her off, sitting back down quickly, pretending to read from the remaining book on the table, my Transfiguration book.

"Just go." It may sound cold, but at that moment, I really couldn't stand being around people. She stared at me for a few seconds before dragging the others from the room, leaving Remus and Elaine behind.

"Leo-" Remus began, but I cut him off, too.

"You both too." They stared at me, shocked, before nodding solemnly and leaving. Elaine paused at the door, and I lowered my head to the table top.

"Just go." I whispered again, and I heard her leave, closing the door behind her, and I could hear the conversation through it.

They thought it was private, that I couldn't hear them, but I heard everything. Everything.

And I hated every last second of it.

Since my Sensory Alert developed, my senses heightened even further than they had been before, and I could hear, smell, see, taste and feel everything.

I could hear a girl the floor below sobbing in the bathrooms, I could smell the blood from the boy who had given himself a paper cut in the floor above. I could see every last splinter of wood beneath my face, I could taste a fifth year girls perfume on my lips, and I could feel the others walking away from the Room of Requirement without me.

I was alone, because I had to be.

If not, I could hurt them. Or worse, kill them.

That's all the animalistic part, the vampire part, of me wanted. To kill them, to drink their blood, to feed on them until I felt the beat of their heart slow beneath my ravenous hunger, my sharpened fangs slicing through skin and muscle to get to the blood I so sorely desired, and sometimes...that was just too much for me to handle.

Elaine and Remus may know what I am, but they don't know what it's like. They don't know how strong I am, or what my desires are, they don't know that I really am a monster.

They wave it off every time I say it, and I pretend to listen, to make them feel better, but I have to hold my breath every time I'm close to them. Close to anyone, or I could kill them.

Not a temporary injury, death. Death or becoming like me, which I was almost certain was worse in comparison than dying.

At least when you die, the pain is over, you don't have to care about family, or friends, you're just dead. If you become a vampire, a full-vampire, then you don't age, you can't sleep, and the next time you encounter the people you love, you're probably going to use them to satiate your thirst.

So congratulations, me, you doing well for not having killed anyone.

Yet.

(A/N): Angst, Angst, Angst!

So, what did you think?

Please review and or check out my other stories!

This chapter took me ages to write. Like, so long.

The next chapter is also very angst-y.

This story has had some minor edits made to it on 29/12/22