Izuku has a conversation with the vestiges. The class has some discussion about their pasts. Ochako has an argument with the wall. And Izuku realizes he needs to go with the flow.
Sorry this took so long once again, but hopefully this 7k word chapter makes up for it a bit! It's time for Izuku to finally, finally start accepting himself and his power.
Izuku probably should have expected this. It took him hours to fall asleep, but once he did, he wasn't given much choice in where his dreams took him…they dragged him straight into the vestige world, and he was now being stared down by the various vestiges with a multitude of different expressions…Yoichi's expression screamed concern, Nana's was a cross between exasperation and worry (once again reminding Izuku he should ask her if she'd ever been a mom or if she just had the mom look naturally). Daigoro just looked done with him, Hikage blankly staring and yet he could feel the judgment in the gaze. Third wasn't even looking at him, staring off into the distance, while En's expression, though hidden behind his high collar, was pretty clearly once of frustration.
But his attention was mostly locked on Second, the tall, scarred rebel leader currently looming over Izuku's seated form, arms crossed with a severe expression on his face. He worked his jaw for a moment, before one arm reached down and gripped Izuku by the shoulder tightly, yanking him to his feet. Without letting go of Izuku's arm, he dragged him over to…another throne? Wait, what?
Izuku stopped in place, ignoring the insistent tug on his arm as he looked around. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight…nine thrones? When…when did he get one?
"Just now, you blithering idiot, now sit in your chair so we can have our goddamned intervention!" Second snarled, cluing Izuku into the fact he'd once again been muttering aloud.
Izuku let himself be pushed till he stood before the chair…but he stopped, refusing to move further even as Second's grip on his arm tightened, as the prior wielder turned to glare at him. Izuku was tired of this. His hand began shaking, his fists clenching, his mouth twisting into a snarl as he felt this surge of anger flood through his veins, a burning, twisted sensation of sheer, unadulterated rage. He was absolutely, positively, fucking sick of everyone talking at him and never actually listening to him.
With a snarl, he ripped his arm away from Second and spun about to face the scarred man, glaring across at the suddenly blank faced vestige. "Enough!" he shouted, his voice echoing across the vestige realm and making all of the others turn to stare at him. He reached up and gripped his hair to help ground himself, his voice a low growl as he spoke. "I'm so tired of this! I didn't ask for you to be in my head! I didn't ask for people to keep pushing and poking and forcing me to listen 'for my own good'! I didn't sign up for this! And I know what you're going to say, 'too fucking bad', well too fucking bad you, it's my fucking head and I'm going to fucking speak!" Izuku's voice rose to a scream as he slammed his foot down, the stone of the vestige tower cracking beneath his feet.
When none of the vestiges spoke, he continued, his hands waving dramatically as he ranted. "I know I'm being stupid, I fucking get it! I don't need you guys to keep harping on me about every little thing I do wrong! I don't need you to keep shoving yourself into my business and trying to be my goddamned therapist! What makes you think you could be, one of you was trapped in a vault for gods know how long, two of you were vigilantes running a rebellion, one of you abandoned humanity, and the others were heroes who barely lived long enough to pass on this damned Quirk! What right do you guys have to pass judgment on how I deal with my problems?!"
Izuku spun about, throwing a punch at the throne behind him, the arched back of the throne snapping clean off as green sparks flooded his fist. He ignored how it shimmered back into place a moment later, striding around it and speaking with a low, frustrated growl in his tone as he kept pacing. "I can't fucking escape! I can't escape from you, I can't escape from my class, from my teachers, from anyone! I'm stuck at a goddamned diner with an ex-hero chef forcing me to sleep like I'm some dumb kid! I know I'm young and I know I'm a shitty successor and I know I'm a bad hero student and I know I'm bad, okay?! I don't need everyone to keep telling me this! I hurt people! Don't you fucking get it?"
He spun back around once more, his eyes wide and his expression morphing from anger into something…else. Tears were shimmering in his eyes but he would let none fall, pleading with them to understand. "I know the smart thing is going back, okay? I know that! I know, I know, I know! Maybe you guys figured out the fix for this, but does that matter? I still hurt them! I hurt Kacchan! I hurt Himiko! I hurt Ochako! I hurt everyone in my class! So what if it's an accident? So what if it's out of my control? That doesn't change that I fucking did it!"
Izuku stumbled, his voice cracking on the last words as he found himself lacking any energy to continue to speak. All the anger left as quickly as it arrived, leaving nothing inside but a hollow pain, a dull ache in the marrow of his bones. He fell back into the throne, slumping forward. Elbows on his knees, he pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes, blocking out the view of everyone around him. Quietly, he continued. "I know they'll forgive me. I know if it was anyone else, I'd tell them it was okay. I know I'm being a hypocrite, and an idiot. I know. But…am I not allowed to be scared? Am I not allowed to be hurt that I hurt the people I love? Why can't I be allowed to feel, huh? Why can't I be allowed to just…not be okay?"
He let his hands drop, still keeping his head bowed as he stared at the stone floor of the vestige tower. "I know I have a responsibility…I know it's my job to keep One For All going, to keep moving forward and to eventually stop All For One and Nine. I know I accepted that when I took on the Quirk. I just…I know I'm selfish but I just want to be allowed to hurt…I just…just…" Izuku sighed, trailing off as he felt a single tear trail down his face, unable to completely hold them back.
The vestige realm was silent for a long time after Izuku finally stopped talking. The only noise the green-haired teen could hear was the gentle sound of the lake of energy slowly shifting and moving from the nearby whirlpool of Gearshift and his own breathing. Eventually, Izuku couldn't take the silence anymore and barely managed to find the courage to lift his head, expecting to be yelled at for yelling at them.
Second was sitting there, cross-legged on the ground in front of him, just looking at him with a blank expression. The rest of the vestiges, Izuku could see were seated on their thrones, all just looking at him with the same blank expression, albeit he couldn't quite be sure how blank Toshinori's was considering how different it was from the rest. Still, he expected…more, from them, after his snapping at the group. Second cleared his throat.
"Is there anything else you'd like to say?" He asked, his voice the softest and most non-judgmental it had been since the first time Izuku had met him.
Izuku stared at the uncharacteristically quiet vestige before him, before shaking his head slowly. He…well, there was still a lot in him he wanted to say, but he didn't think he could find the words anytime soon.
Second nodded in acknowledgement. "Alright. Is it alright if we talk then? Or do you want us to shut the fuck up for a while and let you think?"
"...you can talk, I guess," Izuku murmured, hunching his shoulders as he looked away from the vestige in shame for his outburst.
"Alright. So something we gotta get straight here, ki-...Izuku." Upon hearing his name, Izuku snapped back up to look at the vestige, surprised. Second continued on. "No one here thinks you're a bad successor. Third and I were pretty harsh on you at the start, but you've done well by my reckoning, and I think you'll do just fine. We all feel that way. So none of that self-deprecating talk about you and One For All…we trust you with it."
Yoichi interjected before Izuku could reply, leaning forward in his chair as he spoke. "We're sorry if we ever made you feel uncomfortable or unsafe in your own mind. You're right, you didn't ask for us to come along like we did, much less to be badgering you about things. This is your mind, and we don't control things here, and we should be respecting that. It's no excuse, but we just wanted to try and help you. We're worried about you right now."
"It's not me we should be worried about, it's them!" Izuku replied hotly, gesturing to the sky above where the various celestial objects that represented those he cared for were.
"It's possible to do both, Izuku," Nana replied gently, a soft smile on her face.
"Thing is, if we manage to get you back on an even footing, it'll help them too. So it's a win win either way," Daigoro said, lounging on his chair.
"...did you figure out a way to stop it? Cause that's all I need," Izuku whispered, his gaze locking onto the fifth wielder's visage.
En shook his head in negation. "Not quite. We have some theories, but nothing concrete yet. However, we do believe that you should speak to Nezu and your teachers at UA. They may also have some ideas. We can't communicate perfectly with Toshinori, but we can get information from him. It appears that Nezu has an idea he wants to speak to you about, for how to deal with this issue."
Izuku perked up at that, eyes going wide with the first semblance of hope he'd felt yet. Toshinori was a wonderful mentor in the sense of how to reassure the populace and bring hope. Aizawa was great for hammering the important parts of heroics. Nighteye had been of great help with learning how to effectively use his power as well as how to apply critical thinking skills. But Nezu was one of, if not the, smartest people on the planet, and his analysis of Quirks was far better than Izuku's. If he had an idea…it might work?
"Nezu…has a plan?" he asked quietly, afraid to let what hope he'd managed to get audible but unable to keep the hint of it out of his voice.
"It seems so," Yoichi said with a shrug. "But that's all we know so far. You'll only learn more if you go back and talk to him."
Izuku nodded slowly, slumping back in his chair as he deflated. "...y-yeah. I…I guess I should, huh?"
"It'd be the best option right now. And…you know your friends and loves are probably worried about you," Nana said softly.
Izuku hunched his shoulders once more. That thought had been percolating in the back of his mind the entire time, but he'd been having trouble really accepting it. He was brought out of his thoughts by Nana's hand on his shoulder, glancing up to see her now standing beside him. She knelt down beside his seat and pointed up, making him follow the line of her finger, looking up into the sky above him.
He could see the celestial objects representing the people he cared for, and he could see them being…off. Discolored. Spinning slowly or erupting in ways they hadn't before. Seeing a strange haze surrounding them, and even as he watched he could feel the pain and worry and fear…it was distant, almost unnoticeable, but now that he was observing it he could feel it. He was brought out of his thoughts by Nana's voice next to him.
"They are afraid, Izuku. Not of you, but for you. Not one of them cares about the energy drain problem, they just want you back. They want you home. I know it's unfair to put that pressure on you, and you shouldn't do things just because others want you to, but I also know you are gonna feel guilty the moment you figure it out on your own anyways. So maybe it's time to just…go back?"
"Yeah but, they don't know what's good for them is the problem! They are all self-sacrificing idiots!" Izuku protested, looking up only to be met with eight unamused glares. He flushed, looking away as he muttered "I know that's the pot calling the kettle black but still, my point stands!"
"Anyone trying to go into heroism is either a clout chaser or a self-sacrificing idiot on some level, so that's to be expected. But there are distinctions, Izuku, and you should by now be well aware you're on a different level with your martyr complex," Hikage drawled.
"I don't have a martyr complex!"
"...honey, yes, you very much do," Nana replied.
"We're in your head, kid. Kinda hard not to notice those intrusive thoughts, they are pretty loud at times," Third said. Izuku didn't reply, well able to recognize an argument he wasn't about to win.
Nana squeezed his shoulder gently as Yoichi approached him, smiling softly. "I understand it's hard…but will you go back when you wake?"
Izuku sighed. He hunched forward, resting his arms on his legs as he stared at the floor of the tower. After a moment, he nodded silently. He…knew that his best chance was with Nezu…so maybe it was time to take it.
"Good. We'll be here if you need us, but it's about time for you to wake up. Just remember, we're here for you, okay?" Nana said, giving him one more squeeze on his shoulder, before ruffling his hair playfully.
Izuku snorted, the barest hint of a smile on his face as he batted her hand away, looking up at her. It…it was nice, to know he had them at his side. He felt the familiar shiver in his mindscape, the reminder he was waking, and let out a deep breath as the vestige realm began to fade from his vision, his consciousness returning to the waking world.
Shoto stared up at the ceiling of the common room, not really focusing on anything save his concern for his…boyfriend? Boyfriend. That was something he never expected to have. Or a girlfriend. Really, the idea of relationships had mostly been soured in his mind after what little he remembered from his childhood. He'd avoided any discussion of it, or thought, or anything that made him think of families or dating or any of that.
But somehow, someway, a single conversation, a single fight, had opened up a whole new world for him. He'd reunited with the family he'd thought he'd lost, found friends, found an entire new family, really. And now, here he was, his head resting on Momo's lap, Himiko and Tsuyu curled up on his left side. If he craned his neck, he'd see Kyoka resting her head in Momo's lap as well on the opposite side of him, Mina and Toru over there quietly talking to her. Just beyond them, he could barely see Hitoshi and Denki, the blonde boy speaking in quiet tones to Kyoka, the purple haired girl murmuring back to her oldest friend.
Most of the class were jumbled somewhere in the area between the various pieces of furniture. Katsuki and Eijiro were curled up in the one armchair, but Katsuki's gaze remained affixed on the door, where Shoto kept finding his own gaze drawn too. Ochako was the only member of the…polycule, that was the word, who was not somewhere with them, standing there by the front door. Shoto was…worried about her, but he didn't know how to approach her. This was what Izuku did, he reassured people, he encouraged them, he pushed them to believe…and he was the one missing.
Even Himiko and Katsuki had given up on getting her to sit down and relax, which was perhaps the biggest indicator she wasn't going to. There was no denying that Katsuki saw them as his future sister-in-law, even Shoto could see that, and the feeling was mutual as far as he could tell. And Himiko had known Ochako the longest by far. Yet the brunette just would not listen.
It hurt, somewhere inside him, seeing her hurting and not knowing how to help. It hurt, feeling Momo's hand gently running through his and Kyoka's hair, but also feeling the slight tremors in her hand as she tried to keep her composure. It hurt, knowing that the reason Himiko and Tsuyu had curled up on his left was not just to find warmth from the chill leftover from Izuku's Quirk, but the chilling feeling inside that couldn't seem to be escaped from.
It hurt to glance around and see his friends, his very first friends he'd ever had, scared, worried, and afraid for someone they'd come to love in a number of ways. And what hurt the most was not being able to do anything about it, save sit here, lying in wait, watching the minutes tick away on the clock as everyone tried and failed to fall asleep. He wanted to do something, to try and make everyone relax at least a little…he wanted to be like Izuku. But he just didn't know how.
He worked his jaw for a moment, before coming to a conclusion. If he couldn't make everyone relax…he could at least be honest. "Hey, everyone?" he said in a quiet tone that may as well have been shouting with how the room fell silent a second later. He cleared his throat, feeling Momo's hand still in his hair as he could feel her gaze on him. "Did I ever tell you all about my past?"
"...no, but we overheard a lot during your fight in the festival," Momo confessed softly.
"Why didn't you ask about it?" He asked her, craning his neck slightly to look up into her eyes.
She shook her head slowly. "We didn't think it was our business…we wanted you to feel comfortable revealing it when you were ready."
He nodded slightly, turning his gaze back up to the ceiling. "I want to talk about it. I…won't go into much detail, but…I am the product of a Quirk marriage. My father purchased my mother from my grandparents for the express purpose of creating a child who could surpass All Might. He's…always wanted that, to be better than All Might. He failed with his first three children, or so he believed. And then he got me. He threw away my eldest brother Toya for me instead. Toya…he did not take that well. He attacked my father, who dodged…but I did not." Shoto reached up and gently touched his scar, a featherlight touch as a reminder what he'd gone through, staring unseeing up at the ceiling.
After a moment where no one spoke, he continued on, his voice growing softer. "Endeavor wanted to throw Toya in prison. Mother…wanted to save Toya. So she took the other three and left father, making a deal so that she wouldn't reveal his treatment of her so long as he let her go. They left, and he kept me. I don't blame her…I never did. But I know I missed many things, growing up under Endeavor's thumb. I don't understand many of the references you make, and I am often confused by what you all say, or how I feel. Izuku…he brought me back to my family. He made me accept who I am. And thanks to him, I…I got to see my mother again. My brothers. My sister. I am happy, now. Thanks to him…and all of you. Perhaps it is the wrong time but…thank you. Thank you for being my friends."
The room remained silent for a moment, before Shoto felt a hand slip into his own and grip it tightly. He glanced down to see Himiko, her eyes shining with unshed tears as she smiled at him tearily, her fangs barely visible. She took a deep breath. "My parents abandoned me over my Quirk. They said I was a monster, a demon. They lied on my registry forms. Eventually…they kicked me out. I lived on the streets for a while, until my Dad found me and took me in. He saved me…and so did Ochako. And then Izuku, and Katsuki, and now…all of you. So like Shoto said…thank you."
Shoto squeezed her hand back, trying to mirror the smile she gave him. The half-sobbed chuckle she gave him in return clued him in how awkward he looked, but her smile still grew enough he felt happy she'd noticed.
Denki chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked down. "My parents won't let me get tested for ADHD or anything, even though I'm pretty sure I got it. They say it's not a real thing, and I just need to study more and buckle down and concentrate, and I try, I really try, but I just can't seem to do it. I always feel so stupid, every time we have a test and I do so bad on them but I just can't seem to get it."
"Dad doesn't like the fact I like girls. Says it's a phase and I'll 'get over it', or something. He never really listens to me about it, never believes me when I say it's serious. Gosh, he'd flip if I knew I was dating multiple girls, and a boy…maybe two, eventually," Mina said, a sad giggle escaping her as she leaned against Toru.
"My parents are quite adamant that I marry for the sake of the family business. I know they intend on arranging a marriage for me…but I refuse to be used as a pawn in such schemes. It's not that they do not love me, I know they do, but they have a very…specific view of what is appropriate for someone of my status. They don't understand why I want to be a hero to begin with," Momo replied, her hands resuming their stroking through Shoto's and Kyoka's hair.
The room fell silent for a short time, before Ochako's voice came from the door. Her back to the class, arms crossed over her chest as she stared at the door, she spoke in a low tone, hints of her accent poking through. "My parents love me…but we're poor. We're broke. I started skippin' meals growin' up 'cause I wanted them to get plenty to eat. I kept that up for too long, till I got used to it or somethin'. I still act on that, sometimes. Still feel weirded out if y'all don't clear your plate or somethin'. I know it's not right but I just…I'm used to it."
"My youngest sibling is afraid of me," Fumikage said. "I…lost control of Dark Shadow one night after a nightmare. They broke the wall between our bedrooms. She can no longer sleep anywhere near me, for she fears me. It was a blessing that UA used dormitories, for I was able to get away from her so she may sleep restfully. I have apologized numerous times, but she is young and I cannot truly make it up to her. It is…refreshing, that none of you fear me. I am pleasantly surprised that Eri does not fear me either…but I worry about losing control over Dark Shadow once more, and what you all would think of me then."
"We wouldn't give a shit. Accidents happen. If we cared we wouldn't all be sulking over Zu being missing," Katsuki muttered. He rolled his neck, the sound of it cracking making half the class wince as he scowled. "And most of you guys got shit parents. You can share mine and Zu's, the hag's loud but she's good and Pop's actually nice. No clue how the fuck he puts up with me, Mom, and Zu's bullshit."
"Your dad is a saint I swear," Himiko murmured.
Mezo wandered into Shoto's view, holding a series of cups and bottles in his multiple hands, which he began handing out to the various students. "I grew up in a rural town where practically everyone was afraid of me. It got to the point I just…started wearing a mask everywhere. I'm so used to it at this point, but I think deep down I still have problems with having to wear it to keep other people from panicking."
"...you know none of us would judge you, right, ribbit?" Tsuyu said, rolling over onto her back to look up at him.
"...I…" Mezo struggled for a moment, before letting out a deep sigh. "I believe you, but it's…difficult to trust."
"That's fair. Still…this should be a place you should feel safe. It's our home, and you should feel safe in your home, ribbit."
Mezo paused, looking down at Tsuyu with a blank expression. After a moment, he reached up slowly with one of his arms and pulled the mask off, revealing his scarred and marred face, his large teeth and mouth visible to the entire class. He flinched as he did it, as if expecting some reaction…but no one flinched or reacted beyond just a steady glance.
"...is it okay if I ask where you got the scars?" Toru asked softly, half sprawled over Mina.
"I…got into an altercation when I was little. It…did not end well for me, I suppose," he muttered.
Toru's face flickered for a moment, her expression falling as she clambered to her feet. Stepping over to Mezo, she slowly moved to give him a hug, giving him a chance to stop her if he wanted. The blank expression on his face brightened up into a smile, as he accepted her hug, bending down so he could hug the much shorter teen woman before him. Toru patted him on the back as she gave him a squeeze. "You didn't deserve that," she said.
"...thanks, Toru."
"People suck, especially when it comes to mutants," Mina commented, lounging back against the couch. She put her arms behind her head and looked up at the ceiling. "I didn't get it as bad as you, but people were really mean ever since I can remember. I know I got weird eyes and skin, but that doesn't make me a freak, you know?"
"Your eyes are beautiful, Mina, don't ever think otherwise," Momo replied quietly. "I…am aware I have escaped such commentary due to how I look, and I am speaking from a place of privilege, but to me, you are beautiful, and those who said otherwise are either blind or fools."
Mina's cheeks turned slightly purple, but she didn't respond beyond a shy smile. Himiko rolled over onto her back as well, her one hand still clasped in Shoto's as she looked over at the door where Ochako stood, keeping her vigil. She bit her lip, before deciding to say something. "'Chako…please come lay down with us."
Ochako stood there still as a statue for a good half minute, before her shoulders slumped slightly. "I…I just want to be here if he comes back tonight."
"Cheeks…you know he won't come to the dorms," Katsuki began, but cut himself off as he noticed her fists clench, hunching her shoulders, her entire body tensing visibly.
"...I…I know, okay? I know. But you can't expect me to just…just…just sit and wait all night! I-I can't! I need to see him, I need to make sure he's okay! I-"
"Ochako, sweetie, you need to take a breath please," Mina said softly, getting up and slowly approaching the starting to panic brunette.
Ochako snarled in response, making Mina freeze for a moment as the brunette began to clench and unclench her fists rapidly. After a moment of tension, she spun about, lightning quick, pink glimmering between her clenched fingers as she slammed her fist into the wall of the dorm, a loud 'crack' sounding out as the wall shuddered for a brief moment, tiny flecks of paint coming off. After a moment, her breath coming out in short, breathy pants, Ochako pulled her fist away, showing a small dent in the wall, and little flecks of red from where she'd broken the skin over her knuckles. Ochako slumped, falling in on herself as she seemed to run out of energy just as quickly as it had arrived.
Momo gently disentangled herself from Shoto and Kyoka, both of them now sitting up to look at the brown-haired woman in concern. Momo walked over and very gently reached out to grab Ochako's hand, Ochako not resisting as Momo slowly pried her fingers open and gently began to press around on her fingers, watching Ochako wince as she pressed against her knuckles. With a sigh, she pulled Ochako over to the couch, gently shoved her down and moved to the kitchen to get the first aid kit.
Ochako stared down at her hand for a moment, before her view was blocked by another larger hand. Blinking, she glanced up to see Shoto taking her hand carefully in his, ghosting his fingers over her knuckles as small sparkles of ice shimmered around his fingertips, the chill bringing some relief to the self-inflicted sting. A moment later, Momo sat down next to her and began to clean and wrap her hand with expert precision, the brunette now feeling slightly ashamed at her outburst and needing others to go out of their way to fix it. She opened her mouth to apologize, but a glance from both Momo and Shoto made her close her mouth with an audible clack.
"Well, Hobo-Sensei's gonna be ticked, but oh well. Won't be much of an issue to fix," Katsuki muttered, having gotten up to examine the dent in the wall.
"...sorry," Ochako whispered, hanging her head in shame.
"You're upset. It's okay to be upset," Kyoka said, now leaning back against the couch where Ochako was sitting. She reached over and gave Ochako's knee an affectionate pat as she sighed deeply.
"Just…let's do it with less injury next time, please?" Momo added, a smile on her face to take the sting out of her words. Ochako nodded sheepishly, feeling herself slightly untensing as Momo finished wrapping her hand and moved to wrap one arm about the shorter teen's shoulders, pulling her into her side. Shoto kept his hand over hers, keeping a chill to his fingers that helped relieve the pulsing pain from her punching the wall as she did.
Letting out a sigh, she let her head fall sideways onto Momo's shoulder. "...sorry for being…weird."
"Stop apologizing, ribbit," Tsuyu replied.
Ochako nodded, letting her lips quirk up a bit in a sad half-smile. She relaxed her shoulders as she slumped into Momo's side, letting her eyes close slightly. She knew they were right…all they could do was wait and see what the morning would bring.
Izuku's morning went about as well as he expected. He was still exhausted when he woke, barely able to sleep in fits and starts even outside of the conversation with the vestiges. Ryoya had basically bullied him into eating breakfast, the green-haired teen at least able to taste the food this time…it was delicious, which was unsurprising to Izuku, nothing he'd had from the chef had disappointed yet.
It was as he was finishing up and was sipping at the tea that Ryoya had supplied him with that the bell over the diner's door let out a soft tingle, making him look up to meet the unamused gaze of his teacher and the worried blue eyes of his mentor together. Izuku's shoulders hunched inward as he felt one of his fists clenching beneath the table, ready for the lecture he expected to get.
He felt more than saw the two pro heroes taking seats on either side of him. He heard the murmur of Ryoya asking them if they wanted anything, Aizawa asking for a coffee as Toshinori waved the younger man off with a smile, the chef nodding. He poured a cup for Aizawa and proceeded to head back into the kitchen, giving the trio some privacy.
They were silent for a good minute, the two heroes seeming willing to let Izuku speak when he was ready. Tension ratcheted up in his shoulders, before he finally broke. "...'m sorry," he managed to mutter, resolutely staring down at the countertop.
"For what? Running away without a second thought, triggering half the campus alarms, causing your classmates to go into near panic, or is it for the energy drain?" Aizawa asked, taking a sip of his coffee.
"...all of the above?"
"Young Izuku…you know you can come to us when something is wrong, don't you?" Toshinori asked him, his tone soft and non-judgmental.
"...I wasn't really thinking. I was just…scared," Izuku admitted.
"Good. Fear means you're not an idiot. It's okay to be afraid. What you need to learn is not to run from that fear, but to look into what caused it and how to handle it."
"But I don't know how to handle what caused it, that's the problem!"
"Let me ask you something. You have a cap on how much you can absorb, yeah?" Izuku nodded, a little confused by where the conversation was going but willing to hear his teacher out. Aizawa continued. "So if you have a cap, yet were continuously draining from nineteen hero students, how in the world did you not go over your cap?"
Izuku paused, confused further. He…had a point. Where did the excess go? Was it being fed back into One For All? At that thought he felt the negation from the vestiges, which he guessed made sense. He already knew that they did not directly interact, the stockpile and his energy reserves. So then, where was it going? He shook his head slowly. "I-I don't know?"
Aizawa nodded as if that was the answer he expected. "So we surmised. The rat decided to do some checking. As you know, Power Loader's been working on another meter for you, one that would be more capable of handling your more…extreme stunts. He had passed that work off to Hatsume, and so to work on it, she installed some sensors around the campus that picked up on your energy signature, since it's unique. Turns out, you've been just…emanating energy for a while now. In other words, you're just bleeding the excess off."
"...so you're saying not only was I killing them slowly, I wasn't even using it?" Izuku asked, his hand beginning to shake as the thought twisted in his gut, feeling the bile rise in his stomach at the thought that he'd been wasting their very life energy.
Aizawa shrugged. "Technically, yes. However, Nezu also thinks that could be the solution to the issue if you can't turn it off."
"What? How's that solve anything?" Izuku protested, finally lifting his eyes to meet his teacher's steady gaze.
A cough from behind him had him turn about to look at Toshinori, his mentor smiling at him. "Ah but you see, you can already give energy to your friends, can you not? So if you can take energy…why couldn't you just return it? A feedback loop, Nezu said."
Izuku blinked as he tried to process that information. He…he could return it in big chunks, yeah, but what they were implying was taking that steady drip he'd been consuming and simply recycling it back. Theoretically he could, he supposed…if he could pull, he should be able to push along the same method. But wouldn't that be dangerous? His energy amped people up, which could cause them to consume too many calories or their own energy or-
"Breathe, Midoriya," Aizawa drawled, interrupting him as he realized too late he'd been muttering out loud. Aizawa rolled his eyes. "Nezu's theory is that if you did it in the same fashion as you drained, all it would do it would be slightly more 'pure' energy, as it were, since whatever you absorb converts to your energy type. Therefore, it would be at worst completely unnoticeable, or at best just a nice boost in how they felt. So, that's why we're here."
"Huh?"
"Test it on us, Young Izuku!" Toshinori proclaimed, sitting up straight, the slightest hint of his All Might persona visible as he almost posed in his chair.
"What?!" Izuku half shouted, half hissed. He leapt out of his chair, backing away from them. "N-n-no, I c-couldn't! I could hurt you!"
"You do realize your passive drain is on right now, and we're both fine, right?" Aizawa drawled once more, spinning about in his stool to look at the standing teen before him.
Toshinori nodded. "We felt it when we entered, but we're fine. It's a small amount, Izuku. That's why it took so long to notice. So go on, try returning it to us, create that loop. Nezu said to tell you to let it 'flow'. He was very insistent on using that term, in fact," Toshinori trailed off, his tone a little bit confused by the instruction but willing to go for it.
…flow? Izuku stared at the two heroes before him, blinking rapidly as his mind started piecing it together. The times he'd spent dissecting his Quirk with Nezu, his offhanded comments about 'flowing' energy throughout his body, about the lake in his mind, about how much like water his energy acted, how it would flood over his hands. He…what they were suggesting was making himself into his own water cycle.
His vision flickered unwillingly, showing the gossamer strands of gold and black energy twirling about him, drawing away from the two heroes before him. Now that he was looking, he could see a continuous wispy green glow falling from him, like droplets of water rolling off his skin and away to dissipate into the air itself. He grit his teeth, clenching his jaw, as he mentally reached down and began to twine those wisps of energy together, braiding them into a strand, a rope, a connection. He saw the objects in his mind that represented them…the neutron star for his teacher, and the massive brilliantly shining quasar for his mentor, and with effort tried to tie the ropes about them, but found himself unable to do so.
'Think!' he cursed internally, trying to find the way to make it flow, to make it connect and latch on, before he nearly smacked himself as he realized it. Stellar objects orbit each other! Instead of trying to link them together like a chain, he simply let the strands of energy slowly seep into an orbit about the objects in his mind, watching them be drawn toward and inward, a slight shimmer of green appearing over them as he felt it click into place.
Like a final piece of a puzzle slotting into place, a deep-seated ache in his chest that he hadn't noticed before eased, as if something about that was right. Like the pull had been wrong, and he needed to both pull and push. He let out a deep sigh, his eyes fluttering open (he hadn't noticed he'd closed them), and showing him the now circular path of energy, flowing out from the two heroes and then back into them, shifting colors midway from black and gold to green.
Aizawa sipped his coffee, nodding. "Huh. The rat was right. It does feel a bit better, to be honest."
Toshinori nodded along, contemplatively. "Hmm, yes. Honestly, I feel much more energized now than I did after waking up this morning."
"...but this is wrong. I'm like…forcing a connection to someone!" Izuku protested, still unsure about this as a solution.
"It's temporary, Midoriya, until you figure out how to turn it off. Not to mention you already know it only works on those you hold in high regard it seems. Besides…I'm fine with this if it means I don't feel so damned tired," Aizawa said, hiding his smirk behind his capture weapon as he said the last words.
"We'll have you set this up one at a time with all your classmates and Eri, that way it won't overload you or one of them, and then we'll work on controlling it. But we'll do that back at UA, alright? No more running," Toshinori gently admonished, wagging one finger at the teen before him.
Izuku flushed, looking away from his two teachers. He still wasn't happy with this, but…intellectually, he knew he needed the resources at UA to figure out how to undo this. He nodded reluctantly. This was his best chance. He squared his shoulders and looked up at his two teachers. "Okay. Where do we start?"
"Uraraka," both replied in unison, making Izuku blink at the vehement response.
Aizawa snorted, setting his now empty coffee mug down and tossing some yen onto the counter to cover the cost, standing up. "If we let anyone else do it, she's liable to put another hole into the wall."
"...she what?" Izuku asked, blinking in confusion.
"Let's…not worry about that. Worry more about if she decides to punch you or not for running off!" Toshinori said, a very very fake grin stretched across his face that belied his nerves.
Izuku gulped, starting to get the picture. He thought back to Ochako's temper, to Katsuki's temper, to Himiko's temper…to the rest of his partners, to his class, to all the people he cared about who he kind of ran off on. He nodded. "I'm…I'm in trouble, aren't I?"
"Oh if you think you're free from my punishment either, you have another thing coming, problem child." Aizawa leaned forward, making sure that Izuku could see the stern expression on his face. "You're gonna be running laps until Iida's tired. And that's just the beginning." Izuku gulped, Aizawa's face breaking into a very terrifying smile as he gave Izuku a pat on the shoulder. "Now let's get back to campus and get this all sorted out!"
"...yes sir," Izuku muttered. He was definitely in trouble.