Galvanized Emotion

by Uictoriam Ducere

Charlie has been called many things in his life. A criminal, a thug, and now a deadman. Awakening in a world filled with headache inducing magic ponies who drive him crazy was the last thing he expected. He must now learn to keep his temper in check to stay on their good side as they are the only ones who can bring him home. Being murdered though, makes that kind of difficult… AU

6. Act 1: Don't Count Your Chickens

Chapter 6: Don't Count Your Chickens…

"How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it."

- Marcus Aurelius

"You know, we'd get there a lot faster if you stopped complaining…" Flash casually chides shaking his helmeted head.

I roll my eyes. "You know, I'm exceptionally well at multitasking. Here let me show you." I quicken my walking speed a little to outpace him. "Fuck the cold, fuck your mother, and go fuck donkey dick. See? Now your barely able to keep up with me and my fucks to give."

I slow down letting him catch up and he looks at me annoyed. "Had I known this would be an everyday ordeal I would have taken that transfer to the badlands instead…" He sighs.

I scowl. "Oh shut the fuck up, I'm not that fuckin' bad. You don't even see more more than an hour a day at most, you fuckin' crybaby!"

He blows some air out of his nose. "An hour too long if you ask me…" He stops looking up and continues before I could reply a snide remark. "Alright we're here."

I follow his gaze and see a familiar snow-covered archway covered in dead hibernating vines. Under the arch was a dangling a wooden sign hung by two chains with the symbol of an apple carved into the surface. Either side of the archway was a long sprawling white fence line that seemed to go out as far as the eye could see. The gateway between Ponyville and Sweet Apple Acre's. Applejack's family orchard.

The farm itself was something to be seen a few months ago when I arrived during harvest season. I gaze upon the farm and can't help but be impressed yet again as it's quite a piece of land the family's got tucked away here. Past the fence were rows ploughed into the earth filled with ready to pick assortment of vegetables and other crops. An old time-y well with a spool of rope and a bucket resided close to the archway by the cropland. Chickens grazed the ground around their rustic coops off to the side by the fence line. On the other side was small barn houses for the cattle and sheep like personal housing roomy enough for each beast to wrest away from the elements. To the hills behind the ranch laid hundreds, if not thousands, of apple trees covered in the fruit ready to be picked.

The crème da la crème was the actual manor of the homestead. It rested smack in the middle of the ranch and it was somethin' alright. The house was built to resemble a traditional red barn of sorts but you can tell people live there instead of animals. Well they're ponies but you know what I mean when I sa- ah go fuck yourself. Fucking stupid. Anyways the windows, doors, and roof all had white trim to make the red pop out more and is honestly pretty pleasing on the eyes. The house was three stories tall, the third story being a tower loft with one of those weird metal wind things with the arrow to point which direction the gusts are coming from. Atop this wind thing was another apple shining proud over the ranch like the northern star. These fuckin' people and their apples…

This was a mental image during the early fall though…

Now everything is snow covered and closed for the season. The cropland is nonexistent and is just a covered field, the chickens are resting quietly in the coops huddled together for warmth, and all the little barns are closed with smoke coming out of the chimneys. Yes, you fuckin' heard me right, these fuckin' animals live better than an average Bostonian. Fuck my life. The house was lit and gave light to the early morning darkness.

Flash turns and starts walking back down the path we came. I turn and shout at him. "Hey! Where the fuck are you going? Your not done yet!"

"Do your job or get the dungeon…" He yells back. I see him slunk down tiredly as he walks. "I need a raise…" He fuckin' left me here to get eaten alive by Apple family. Unbelievable.

I turn back to the farm and stare in utter despair while I rub my new bald spot irritably knowing I'm gonna get the shit kicked out of from chores of some kind. If it was like anything from the last few days then no doubt Applejack has something planned for me like Pinkie and Rarity before her. There were some ponies resided by the entrance of the house oblivious to my presence and seemed to be talking to each other making me sigh.

"Here we fuckin' go…" I say trying to give myself courage before walking towards the house.

As I walk closer the ponies soon reveal themselves as two I recognize. One being Applejack of course. The orange mare with a blonde mane and donning a stetson was arguing with a larger tall red stallion which I believe was her brother.

"Ah'm just sayin' ah don't like it." The stallion remarks in a deep slow southern drawl. "We have enough ta worry 'bout on the farm with sightin's of timber wolves and now this?"

Applejack sighs. "Ah know, Mac, and ah'll always hold the farm highest on mah priorities but ah also have other responsibilities with this element business. This one just happens ta involve Sweet Apple Acre's unfortunately."

An older green pony rocking in a chair starts chuckling. "Yer gettin' all worried o'er nothin', Big McIntosh." An older voice chimes in. "He's ahll bark an' no bite. Y'all'll be fine!"

Oh boy, Ijust wonder what they're talking about. I haven't a clue… Fuck my life. I strut up without even bothering to hide my footsteps as they crunch loudly in the snow. The three heads snap over to me and the two younger ones scowl while the old piss stain only lifts an eyebrow upon seeing me.

Applejack went to say something but I wasn't in the mood and cut her off. "Alright, I get the goddamn song and dance routine already. How about we skip the semantics? You don't like me and I don't like you. You don't want me near the fuckin' house nor near any of your fuckin' never ending kin so your gonna give me some stupid fucked task that's more than likely out in the orchard somewhere and I'll have to do it alone in this shit cold! Does that sound about right to you?" The two look at me with their mouth agape answering my question.

"Who do you think you are walking here an-" Before Applejack can give me some threatening words I cut her off again.

"Lady! I have had one hell of a week and I'm fuckin' tired, I'm cold, and I'm sick of you fuckin' ponies. So just fuckin' show me where to go so I can go sulk about how miserable I am while doing it and I'll be out of your fuckin' hair by dinner time! That sound good to you, Deliverance?" The duo looked completely baffled as silence overtakes us.

The granny cackles in delight. "He's got some spit in em, ah'll give him that much ha! Ah like em already." She gives me a look that makes me shiver. I'm not going to go into detail about the look. "Well, Applejack? You 'eard the stallion! Get em to work!" She cackles again.

Applejack herself looks at me in warily but eventually sighs. "Ahlright… But ah'm watchin' you." She nods to the larger stallion and turns to walk off the porch away from the house. "This way." She barks.

Great I was right about being out in the cold. Fuck me. I sigh and follow the western mare. We don't exchange words at all on the way to our, no doubt fucked, destination which is fine by me. Talking to the cowgirl always gave me a headache. We turned a corner around the small barns and my fuckin' jaw disconnects from my head and slams on the floor.

Ho-lee-shit

There was a pile, no a mountain, of short cut logs by an old piece of shit shack that's barely standing. The logs were fuckin' fat as fuck too. I don't know how many trees they had to cut down but it had to of been a cosmic fuckton of em…

Applejack walks up to the shack undoing the latch with her snout and enters leaving me in the cold to shiver. I hear some clutter being moved around and some pony expletives being whispered before finally an old wide log comes rolling out and spins around like a coin before finally landing on its flat side with a thud. Before I could ask 'what the fuck' Applejack comes out dragging a double headed ax with her teeth and it too drops with a thud and sinks in the snow like the log. I look at the ax, then the log, then the mountain of logs, and finally at Applejack. I couldn't help but burst out laughing.

I think I'm going mad.

"Hehe So let me get this straight…" I point at the pile. "You want me to single-handedly split all these fuckin' logs… by myself ?

She sports a shit eating grin. "Eeeeyup! Your gonna stack them in line behind the stables when they're split and ah want this pile ta look at least half as big by the end of the day." I rub my forehead and peer over at the ranch again as beams of sunlight glimmer the snow and casts it's light on the barn house.

I look back at applejack and sigh. "Then let me get fuckin' started then, massah. I don't want to be here all goddamn day."

I push her to the side rudely lifting the splitting log over and rolling it closer to the pile so I don't have to walk over every two fuckin' seconds every time I chop one. I grab the ax and a thought about embedding it in rainbow hits me causing a small short-circuit to ensue. Fuck me man. Applejack eyes me weirdly but doesn't say a word as I get set up. I lift the heavy ax over my head and split my first log of the day as it explodes in two and spews in opposite directions. Applejack seemed pretty pleased with this and turned to return to the house without saying a word leaving me to my fate of hard manual labor.

The work was pretty monotonous but overall wasn't terrible as I hacked away. I lucked out for the day with the weather at least as it's actually clear as well as bright and sunny warming me up exceptionally well even though its still in the thirties. And my prayers had been answered as the wind is nonexistent. Thank you wind god for sparing your lonely alter boy! Seconds soon turned to minutes and the work, though physically challenging, didn't require much brain power so my thoughts consumed me as I worked.

I thought of Applejack and her rootin' tootin' demeanor but I don't really have much to say about the mare aside from my first meeting with her which, holy shit, was fuckin' somethin'. I snuck out of the library by myself to get the flying fuck away from Twilight. She was still in her nonstop questioning faze and it was driving me nuts. So nutty to the point risking my life swinging down on branches from the second story was a good idea in my book. Anyways, I was walking around town loving life when I started following a trail that led south outta town. Boredom hit me pretty hard and I just wanted some adventure to break up the monotony of wake up, talk to pony, get mad, go to sleep, repeat. Well if I had known what was at the end of that fuckin' trail I would've stayed in the library.

As you may have already guessed Applejack's farm was at the end of that said trail and I really appreciated the simpleness of the country setting. It looked so peaceful and reminded me of Mr. Campbell's house. Nice and remote with no nosy neighbors. I was watching some chickens walk around aimlessly and one walked up to me thinking I had food. I bent down and started petting it because I'm human and that's what we do. We pet all the things. Anyways, my sightseeing came to an end rather abruptly as I felt a something loop down my head and tighten around my sternum before being suplexed like I was apart of Wrestle fuckin' Mania. I wrestled on the ground for a hot minute with an unknown assailant but I lost the fight the minute I was lassoed.

What was the first she said to me..?

"Ya big yella belly ain't gonna harm a feather on mah chicken's head ya hear me ya nasty little thang?"

Yep. She thought I was some kind of predator and dealt with me as such. The next thing I know I'm hogtied and dragged into town while a proud Applejack paraded me around saying she 'defeated the fierce ape creature'. I get it already, I look like a fuckin' monkey's uncle just leave me alone. Anyways, she pulled me to towns square while I cursed and raved the whole way and hung me upside down on a street lamp to play 'whack the Charlie pinata'. It wasn't until a worry stricken Twilight came running with Spike to defuse the entire situation on my behalf. Eventually she donned an embarrassed expression realizing the fuck up she committed and let me down before the absolute shitstorm that was about to make landfall.

Now as a disclaimer I just want to say out of all the fucked shit I've said over the last two months the absolute worst was that day after I stood up looking down at the cowmare with contempt. Boy oh boy, was she not fuckin' ready for me let me tell ya. Without even a second thought I ripped into her like it was nobodies business. She fuckin' lassoed and fuckin' hogtied me and presented me to the goddamn town like I was a fuckin' spectacle, so yeah it's safe to say I didn't really care for her fuckin' feelings at the moment.

"Who in Gods fuckin' name do you think you are you fuckin' slack jawed, cross eyed, decimal IQ point having, inbred, pig fuckin', cousins dick slurpin', semen dumpster?! I know people like you are just generally have a disadvantage in the brains department but it looks like you never even got stocked! So how about, like the downie hick you are, go back to your fuckin' mudhole you call home and-"

That's just a taste of what I said to her, not even gonna get into the deeper layers of my insults as it would be redundant.

I just kept going and going until my voice gave out, she just stood there and took every syllable slowly shrinking into herself after every comment. She looked like she wanted to cry and kept saying apologies over and over and eventually I told her to 'go die in a hole and to stay the fuck away from me' before storming off leaving her in a puddle of her own tears. She did take my stay away comment to heart it seemed as she did just that to be honest. I don't think I had another conversation with her after, not until the trial at least. She did try to start some here and there but she was either ignored or she gave up.

Fuck her.

As the day goes on my thoughts shift to the morning making my mood sour and the swings of the ax more heavy handed with each swing. I had another nightmare with that dark piece of shit but it was different this time. Or rather I was different.

I was hung upside down by my feet my hands were bound behind my back and the creature was circling me like I was nothing but meat. And little did I know I was. He grabbed a knife and started taking slivers of flesh off me from different areas of my body one piece from my thigh, another from my breast, he took the entirety of my back strap laughing all the while doing it.

"Scream for me, little pig, scream! You will play me a song that no one will hear except only me and an uncaring God!" He slits a piece off my cheek causing me to do what he wants and he starts dancing like he was in a ballroom to my pained anguish. "Yes. YES! So exquisite! So divine! Crescendo! CRESCENDO!" He starts in my gut making the screams louder.

I was afraid. Afraid of him. Like he was never gonna let me die. Like everything was hopeless. I want to reiterate that it wasn't his actions that were causing the fear but he himself. His aura. It felt like he fed from it. Like he savored it. And there was nothing I could do. The fear didn't feel like mine if that makes any sense.

But then… Something happens. Something different.

In my gut I feel a sense of tranquility. Like I was gonna be okay. That there was nothing to fear. It wasn't strong but it was there. Enough to knock the fucking scaredy cat routine right out of its socks giving me power over my mind once again. Then I feel it.

R A G E!

"YOU FUCK!" I scream.

He stops his merriment and cocks his head at me. "What did you say?" he says softly.

"YOU FUCKIN' HEARD ME YOU PRICK! YOU STAND THERE AND TAKE EVERY PIECE OF ME TIL THERE'S NOTHING LEFT YOU COCKSUCKER BUT THAT WON'T CHANGE A GODDMAN THING BECAUSE YOUR FUCKIN' DEAD ALREADY!" I start shaking side to side to break free. "AND YOU WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING ELSE?! I'M GONNA GET OUT OF HERE EVENTUALLY AND WHEN I DO YOUR HEAD WILL BE ON MY FUCKIN' PLATTER SAUTEED AND COLD YOU FUUUUUUUCK!"

He flinches at my words but seems more confused than scared. He walks up and jabs me with his fist making me swing a little back and forth but he didn't see what I had in store coming. As he poked me I took a bite of his dark flesh ripping it from his arm and spitting it back at his face causing him to stumble backwards in pain.

I grin ear to ear as I feel warm liquid pool in my mouth. "Come on! That all you got!"

If he had facial features I'd tell he frowned at that and looked at his hand once more still confused. "Hmmm. It seems our ensemble has reached its conclusion tonight, little pig, but you are something special, as I'm beginning to realize." He walks over gripping my hair and slitting my throat. I feel my life fade. "Til we meet again, Charlie…" He spits my name at me like it was acid and as darkness consumes me I wake up.

I awoke startled in the that same rocking chair from the night before as I had fallen asleep before I could walk up to my room. The confusion hit me as bad as the other nightmares but this one stood out. I didn't awake to be afraid like I had been. Instead of waking and running I woke and wanted his balls in a vice. The only thing I did find was a wrapper from that muffin the night before that comforted me after a long hard day.

I pause as I readied my the ax for my next swing and lowered it back down slowly.

I frown "That fuckin' muffin…" I whisper as I'm reminded of the savory treat and I start to feel something I cant place.

Ditsy Doo. That mare with the fucked eyes I helped. I didn't know what to think of the gift. I don't even know why I'm so caught up over either it was just a stupid fucking muffin. I sat there staring at the wrapper for god knows how long before Twilight came in with Flash to escort me to the lucky mare of the day. I scowl and ready the ax again slamming it down hard cleaving the log in half and grabbing another log to be split.

Thwack

Was the muffin so good that I just keep thinking about it? No that's not right.

Thwack

Or was it because I helped her to get it? It wasn't even that much of a favor…

Thwack

No that's not it either. Then why?! Why have I been so caught up on it?!

Thwack

It was just a stupid fuckin' muffin from a disabled retard! WHY?!

THWACK

THWACK

THWACK

I pause again as the ax is over my head ready to strike a log as the flurry of thoughts that didn't feel like my own encompassed my entire being.

It's because you don't deserve it…

You don't deserve that kind of kindness…

Not from her or anyone else for that matter…

You deserve…

NOTHING

I feel the ax shake from my grip tightening but it remains in the air as I froze as the revelation seeps into me. It was a gift that I don't deserve. I sigh slowly lowering the ax once more dropping it to my side and knocking aside the soon-to-be cut log to the out of the way so I can sit down. I feel a beads of sweat trickle down my forehead into my beard and some soft breezes swirl around me.

"Dammit…" I angrily whisper. My head falls into my hands as a plethora of emotions smack me and sigh once more as I take a break to calm myself down. "Just get a fuckin' hold of yourself, idiot, you're better than this!"

I lift my head and gaze upon the two giant piles of split logs either side of where I'm sitting and wipe the sweat from my face. The pile of uncut logs looked a little less daunting as a huge chunk was missing. The bounty of my hard work seems to be paying off but I still feel like a sucker. In all the years I've never worked as hard as I have this past week. I feel like a fuckin' dope sweating my ass like this.

The midday sun streams down on me and feels so fuckin' good considering I've been a Char-cicle the past few days. I swing my arms back to prop myself up and bask in its excellence. You can say what you want about Celestia but the gal sure knows how to make that sun feel good. Not that I'll ever admit that to her.

Cunt…

I look over to the area where I'm supposed to stack this shit and I frown in annoyance knowing that only half the job is done and I still have a long day ahead of me making me sigh. Before I could get up to finish the task at hand I spot some movement by the tree line and see three silhouettes duck fast into the brush. I couldn't make out what it was as they were too fast but it was suspicious as hell. I scrunch my nose and was gonna ignore it entirely but I look at the pile once more and the idea of continuing chopping wood makes me sick to my stomach so maybe investigating might be something to spice things up.

After all, I am just looking out for the farm and totally not making an excuse to not do chores.

Grabbing the ax, I wrap the quilt around my shoulders like a cape so my arms can have all the movement they need and start walking in the direction of these mysterious figures. Who knows this could be fun! Soon I make it to the spot they were and see three discernible tracks but given I'm not Tonto I cant make out whose. I do see that they head deeper into the rows upon rows of apple trees but they must have been fast as I don't see what made them just tracks. I look back at the quaint farmstead one more time and sigh as I trudge toward the unknown, deeper into the artificial forest.

About ten minutes had passed but the tracks just kept going without end. I'm sure Applejack is wondering where the fuck I am at this point but fuck her if she thinks I'm gonna just wait to be bushwhacked by some fuckin' savages. No I bushwhack people, not the other way around. The tracks weaved in and out around the rows of trees in a way that almost seems carefree. Like they're running around like they were playing. Fuckin' weird but again I'm not able to put my ear to the ground and listen to all their earthly desires.

What I am able to do however is come upon the sudden end of the snow prints. They just fuckin' stop like they flew away or something. Fuckin' weird.

"Hello?" I gaze around to see if anything stirs but nothing. "Hey! I know your out here so come on out or I'll blow your house down…" I snicker saying this but again nothing.

Oh well. I guess whoever was out there decided to fuck off… Good! Fuck em. I feel like I just wasted my time out here but whatever. Better than chopping wood all goddamn day. I was gonna head back but the sudden urge to piss hits me so I set the ax down a minute to take a leak.

As I'm pissing I start laughing as I really felt like I was onto something. "Ke-mo Sah-bee. Ranger… snirk I really need to get a fuckin' hobby…" I finish up and grab the ax and started back the way I came. "Or get laid… Not like that's gonna happen, at least not around- HERRRRRRREEEEE! AHH!"

Something tightens around my foot and I feel myself swing upwards upside down dangling from a fuckin' tree. The ax and some of my shit, including my cap, falls to the ground and the quilt wraps around my head from the momentum blinding me. I feel myself dangling not unlike that dream from earlier and I freak out a bit thinkin' the shit came back for seconds after my outburst.

Then I hear it.

"Ah cant believe that worked, Scootaloo!" A young girls voice with a southern drawl chimes in.

"I told you so, Apple Bloom! And you doubted me, Sweetie Belle!" Another young voice responds.

I hear a huff. "I didn't doubt you I just thought it would've been better if we did this closer to the farm."

Wait… Sweetie Belle… Where the fuck have I heard that name before. I maneuver my arms to tug and pull on the blanket before finally I get it down and over my head and it tumbles to the ground giving me back my sight. I look up (Down? This upside down shit is confusing.) and three fillies fill my vision as they start arguing.

The cream colored one with red hair and a hilariously oversized rose colored bow wrapped around her mane shoves one of the fillies. "Ah didn't want mah sister ta catch us, Sweetie Belle! She strictly told me ta stay away from the monster and ah don't feel like getting in trouble." She frowns and turns to another. "Besides now that we caught him we're definitely getting our cutie marks now!"

A tangerine colored pegasus with dark violet does a flip of excitement. "Oh yeah! We're now certified monster catchers for sure! Our cutie marks are gonna show up any second now!" She gazes at her flank waiting for something to happen.

I look over and see a unicorn filly I recognize almost immediately. Its fuckin' Rarity's sister! From yesterday! The one who looked at me funny before running away!

Da fuck?!

"Sweetie Belle? What the fuck?!" Her head whips up upon hearing her name. "Get me the fuck down now!" I wince as the blood starts flowing to my head.

The orange one gasps and looks over at the others. "I thought monsters couldn't talk!" She looks back up at me and scowls. "No way! We caught you fair and square!"

The hick one pipes up. "Yeah! Our cutie marks are gonna show up any second now!"

I gawk at them incredulously. "WHAT?! What are you talking about?!" I start swinging around in circles making me nauseous.

Sweetie bell looks up and gives me a determined smile. "We've been trying to get our cutie marks for months now but nothing's been working! We tried being bakers, circus entertainers, magicians, castle builders, book writers, animal tamers, firemares, and journalists but nothing is giving us our mark! I saw you yesterday and I knew just what we had to do! Something that was definitely gonna work! We were gonna catch the Monkey Man and save Ponyville from his evil clutches and we'd be deemed…" She pauses for and the they all kinda move into super hero poses.

"MONSTER HUNTERS!" They all shout in unison.

Filly monster hunters… You cant make this shit up. They all gazed at their flanks for a hot minute as I tried my damnedest to break free with zero luck.

The orange one, Scootaloo I think, frowns. "Hey! Why hasn't it shown up yet?"

Apple Bloom, the cream colored one, frowns as well. "Maybe we didn't do it right." She pouts. "Ah told ya we shoulda gotten the bear traps…" My eyes widen knowing how close I was to losing my foot.

Sweetie Belle keeps staring at her flank but her expression starts to wane into disappointment. "I guess we're not monster hunters, mares… Darn it! I thought we were so close this time!"

I start clapping my hands in a sardonic congratulatory way earning all their attentions. "Yay! you figured out fucking with me did absolutely nothing! Your did it!" I start swinging back and forth impatiently. "NOW LET ME THE FUCK DOWN BEFORE I- ARGH" Some shocks hit me causing me to spasm but it wasn't as bad as some of the other attacks. When the attack finishes I just hang there limply before sighing. "Just please let me down…"

Apple Bloom looked at me warily. "We may not of found our cutie marks but ah don't think letting you free is a good idea. You still almost destroyed the town."

Scootaloo tries to fly up to match my height but pathetically only lifts off the ground like a foot and stares at me. "Yeah! Rainbow told me how much of a piece of work you are! If she doesn't like you then nopony should!"

I glare at the filly upon hearing Rainbow turd being mentioned. "Let me tell you what Rainbow Dash is…" I gasp in a breath of air before I start. "She's a backwards, egotistical, brash, idiot who touches herself while looking in a mirror! Shes-"

"She's what, monkey?" A new scratchy voice cuts in causing me to freeze. I slowly spin around and see a smug looking rainbow dash floating mid air to match my eye level very amused at my predicament. "I'm sure she'd love to know…"

Oh fuck me man…

Scootaloo's eyes widen in surprise. "Rainbow! Ha I knew you wouldn't have wanted to miss this!"

She looks down at the filly and smiles. "You did good, Squirt. I cant believe you pulled this off. Only someone totally awesome like me could handle this but it seems you've did all by yourself!" Scootaloo looked like she was gonna faint after given the compliment. Sweetie Belle takes a few steps toward the notch where the rope was holding me but Rainbow flies over quickly to cut her off. "Whatcha think your doing there?"

Sweetie looks up at me and back to Rainbow confused. "Well since this whole plan was a bust I was gonna let him go so we can come up with a new idea. I didn't want to hurt him we just wanted to catch him."

Rainbow starts laughing. "Let him go?! We're just getting started, Sweetie Belle!" She flies back toward the ground grabbing my quilt with her teeth and before I could do anything she somehow ties it around my head blinding me again. I couldn't really stop her as being hung upside down for so long has made me weak and lightheaded.

I hear Sweetie sound confused. "Get started what?"

"The party! Like for instance we can do… THIS!" I feel a punch in my gut causing the wind to get knocked outta me and I sputter trying to gasp for air. "or This!" Another punch hit my temple and my ears start ringing as the quilt slowly loosens "And especially… This!" A swift kick to my jewels causes me to erratically squirm in pain causing the quilt to fall off entirely show me a laughing Rainbow.

The pain and hanging makes my head feel funny and a memory plays on its own. Rainbows laughing form slowly morphs from a technicolor pony to the dark mass and the backdrop of the apple trees slowly fade into nothingness.

"Crescendo! CRESCENDO!" It repeats from earlier laughing. I feel the same rage from the dream seeing the dark shit.

"I'LL FUCKING KILL YO-RAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHH" Feeling like I stuck a fork into a transformer pain consumes my entire body. I roasted there for a hot minute feeling like I was melting when finally the rage halts and electric avenue stops playing. I just feel my panting as the world spins around me like I standing still.

I could barely make out Rainbow but she's smiling at me like the grinch. "Hehe it gets better every time! I don't think I can-"

"RAINBOW DASH!" A southern mare screams. "Hwat in tarnation are you doin' there?!"

I look over and see the outline of the stetson wearing mare herself. Rainbow waves. "Oh! Hey Applejack! We're just having a bit of fun! Wanna join in?"

The cowmare scowls. "No… ah don't think ah will… And neither will you, Apple Bloom!" The filly sinks her head down a little as she was being scolded. "Ah was curious what happened to mah ranch hand and coincidentally mah sister was missin' too. I thought the worst when ah went a lookin' but ah cant believe this is what was goin' on… Let em go now!"

Rainbow looks at her incredulously. "Wait a minute… Your not actually mad about this, are you?" Applejack's scowl deepens. "You cant be serious ?! You know what he did!"

Applejack takes a few more steps closer. "Sugarcube, it don't matter what he did or didn't do. The Princess asked us ta keep an eye on him and that's exactly what ah intend ta do. He's under the Apple families watch as long as the Princess deems it so." She takes another step forward. "Now ah won't ask again ah need ya to leave him be."

Rainbow scowls back. "Fine! I wasn't having fun anymore anyway." She spins me like a top one more time. "See you, loser!" And with that she takes off to the sky leaving us in the cold alone.

Applejack looks up where she disappeared her features softening and sighs. "What am ah gonna do with that, mare…" Her look hardens again and turns to the three fillies who all huddled together looking scared. "And what am ah gonna do with you, fillies! Ah told ya Apple Bloom ta stay away from Charlie! And Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle?! You're not ma kin but ah'd like to assume y'all would've learned some manners for ya age! All of ya back to the farm."

Apple Bloom looks down ashamed. "But, Applejack, we-"

"No buts. Now! Ah'll deal with you later." The farmer scolds.

The three all eventually sigh and start their walk of shame back to the farm house where no doubt a chewing out would ensue later. Applejack turns to me and looks at me with a look I cant name but eventually walks over to the spot the line holding me was tied. Around a root was a simple knot which the mare bit and pulled to undo it.

A realization hits me. "Uh Applejack, wait I'm gonna-" Too late. The knot unties and I fall about 5 feet down to the snow carpeted below with a thud. "…Fall…" I'm so sick of eating shit you have no idea. While I'm sitting up rubbing my head Applejack walks over to me and stares with a blank expression.

I huff and stare back. "You know, If I had a nickel for every time a member of the Apple family hung me like dried bacon I'd have two nickels… Which ain't a lot but it sure is weird I have two of them."

"You alright?" Her look doesn't change but at least she asked.

I sigh and look around. "To be honest I don't even know what alright looks like anymore…" I rub my head once more and look at the sky where Rainbow left. "You know, if you would've joined in I wouldn't of blamed you."

She cocks an eyebrow. "You wanted me ta hit ya like you was a pinata?"

"No! But…" I look up at her. "…why didn't you? You obviously don't like me and Rainshit's your friend so… I don't know, I guess… I guess I wasn't expecting someone in my corner for a change. Especially you."

She cocks her head as if she was studying me before explaining. "It wasn't right." She stated flatly. "You're right in saying Rainbow's ma friend but that doesn't mean ah cant see her do wrong. You're meaner than a rattler' and feistier than a timber wolf but that don't mean ya deserve it…"

I shake my head at this looking into the distance. "You don't know me. You don't know what I deserve…"

She sits down thinking and turns to me. "Ah know you're a hard worker. Ah was a little skeptical about you workin' today gettin' rid of that pile. Ah checked up on you throughout the day ta make sure you were doin' yer job and you there you were choppin' away, albeit a little angrily, but you did your job without complaint. There's some merit ta that. We, Apples, know hard work like no other pony let me tell ya. It keeps us honest!"

I frown. "Hard work don't mean shit. It doesn't tell you anything."

"It tells me that yer at least puttin' in a modicum of effort…" She stands and gives me a small smile. "Ah want the Princess ta be right about you… Ah really do but you gotta prove it ta me first. Now c'mon! There's still daylight a burnin' and there's still work ta be done!" She turns and starts back to the farm the same way the fillies left.

'Keeps us honest' she says… What a joke.

I wince as pain flares up my arm but not from shocks. I stare at my hand leaving me to gasp. The appendage was red and tender as if it was dunked in a pot of boiling water. Burns stretch their way up my arm to about mid forearm. It seems the attacks are getting worse. Just like this rainbow situation. I gotta do something before this gets too outta hand and I seriously get hurt. I sigh picking up the worn red cap, donning it, and standing to walk back with Applejack to finish the day of hard labor.

OoOoO

The rest of the day went along about as well as you'd fuckin' expect. With my hand gone to shit the work was so much worse than earlier. At least then I can sink into my own mind but now I'm pulled out of my thoughts every time I touch anything making the day drag on longer. As I chopped away the pile got smaller and smaller and eventually it was only a quarter of what it was at the beginning of the day. The only reason I was able to get as much done as I did was because that tight lipped stallion, Big McIntosh, finished his chores early and decided to help move the split logs to where they needed to be stacked. We didn't converse really at all as we both understood what we had to do which suited me just fine.

Why cant all these blasted ponies be like this? Silent and uncaring about my presence.

Anyways, as I was chopping Applejack eventually swings by and nods her head in a commending manner as she views the pile. "Ya know what, Charlie? Ah think that's good fer today! You really demolished that mountain of logs…"

I embed the ax into the platform and use the quilt to wipe my forehead. "Fuckin' finally! Christ alive it's fuckin' cold out here…"

She rolled her eyes. "Oh quit yer bellyachin' you did a fine job." She scrunches her nose, as if she was thinking, looks at the farm house and back at me. "Tell ya what, if you stop by the house Granny Smith has some hot cocoa if ya want some. Warm you right up."

McIntosh brows grew together hearing this. "Uh Applejack ah don-"

"Oh hush now, Big Mac, he did a good job!" She says cutting off her brother. She turns back to me. "What'd ya say, partner?"

Hmmm it is cold out here… and my mouth starts watering at the sound of cocoa… ugh.

I sigh. "Fine sounds good to me…" I start walking towards the house. "Just don't expect a thank you…"

I hear some arguing behind me as I walk away between Applejack and her brother but I don't pay it any mind at all. I've got hot chocolaty goodness with my name on it. Thankfully there were enough ponies walking around the farm all day there were trails within the snow making it easier to walk through. Some of it seemed to melt significantly today as well with the sun beaming down but I know it ain't gonna last. Christ I am so sick of snow. As I walk upon the house I see the three fillies drinking from steaming cups and Granny Smith holding a platter with 4 more sitting upon it.

Granny lifts an eyebrow at me. "Whatchu want, thingamajig?"

I look back where I left the siblings and then back at the old codger jutting a thumb behind me. "Uh… Applejack said you had some cocoa and I could have some."

She squints at me. "What er the magic words?" She's fucking with me right? I was just gonna turn around, but the aroma of the cocoa makes me shiver.

Fuck me.

I sigh and strain a smile. "Can I… please… have some hot cocoa?"

She cackles at me. "Ha! Was that so hard? We just might teach ya manners yet!" She gestures to the platter sitting on the table near her chair. "Here ya go! Nice and hot for ya!"

I rudely snatch it and smell it. I nearly ejaculate as it fragrance enters my nostrils. Oh my god it smells so fuckin' good. I take a sip and moan in pleasure. It was a little too hot but the warm thickness made me want to curl into a ball and hibernate for the winter.

I hear Granny cackle again. "Good ain't it? It's ma family recipe!"

I barely hear her as I start drinking it in earnest. "Oh my God… It's like Aphrodite's fuckin' titty milk…"

Something hard thwacks me in the head and I look over at Granny holding her cane and she gives me an angry look. "No language around the youngin's!" Who does she think she is? Rafiki?

I stare at her incredulously but I'm too tired to really fight her on it so I just huff and continue drinking while rubbing what might as well be a looney toons sized bump on my head. Speaking of these 'youngins' I look over at the fillies and they're all looking at strangely. I think this is the closest I've been to any of them so I think they're taking in the 8th wonder of the world known as Charlie for the first time.

Except Scootaloo who has a look I know quite well except it only appears on a certain rainbow covered piece of shit. She actually stands, setting down the mug, scowling at me one more time and runs down the path out of the farm without a word. The other two looked like they wanted to run after her but just sighed and looked back at me, It kinda looked like they wanted to ask me something.

"Mare's, It ain't polite to stare…" Granny chides. Giving them the stink eye like they were supposed to say something.

Apple Bloom walks over first and looks up at me. "Ah'm sorry we tied you up… Again."

"Yeah I'm sorry too… It was my idea…" Sweetie bell joins her. "But I didn't want you to get hurt like you did! We just wanted to catch you so we'd get our cutie marks! Honest! I didn't know Rainbow was gonna show up and do that!"

I stare at the two not really knowing what to say and I look down the path where the third stooge left and took a sip. "Is the other one real sorry, too?"

They look down wincing knowing the answer is no. Apple Bloom looks back up at me. "She looks up to Rainbow too much to apologize for what she did…" huh… I can actually respect that.

I take the last sip of my cocoa and look down at the two sparkling sets of innocence staring back at me. "Tell you what… This cocoa has put me in a good fu-flippin' mood and I'll accept your apologies." I censor myself as I see Granny ready her cane once again. Fuckin' holy hell dude. I narrow my eyes at them. "Just don't let it happen again. I may not be as forgiving the second time…"

They look at each other and back at me. "We won't! We promise!" They shout in unison.

"Good! If you do I don't think cocoa will save you next time. But maybe your blood will do ah ah ah!" I speak like Dracula and laugh like a super villain scaring the two and they scamper inside making me genuinely laugh as I sit back down. The old fart looks at me strangely but just gives a small laugh and snuggles into her afghan as the sun starts to set.

The siblings started towards the house but it seemed like they weren't alone as they picked up a stray in the form of Flash Sentry.

He sees me enjoying a cup of cocoa and smirks. "It seems they take real good care of their animals here at Sweet Apples Acres… Look! They even give them hot chocolate!" He sardonically announces as he points at me.

"ahahaha your hilarious." I deadpan. "Please let me know when your comedy special comes out and I might show up to throw tomatoes at you." I sarcastically reply.

He actually snorts at that and turns to Granny. "He wasn't too much trouble was he ma'am?"

She gives me a once over before shaking her head. "He's a lot of work but who isn't these days…"

Flash hums at that before looking at me. "Look at you! On your best behavior! Seems your going native…"

"Ke-mo sah-bee, Ranger!" I gleefully announce.

He looks at me like I spoke Spanish. "What does that mean?"

I finish my second serving of cocoa and jab a finger at his breast plate. "It means your a cockwart, Flash..."

His eyebrows lift upwards and his mouth falls open a little as I drop the joker act.

He doesn't respond still shocked over something. "I'm fuckin' tired…"

I place the cup down on the porch and start down the path out of the farm without another word. I hear Applejack and Granny say goodbye but I don't reciprocate as it doesn't fuckin' matter. I hear some hoof steps behind me as Flash 'escorts' me back to Twilight in silence. When we arrive I he looks at me weird but bids me adieu and that he'd see me tomorrow.

Whatever…

Entering the library I walk towards the study hall where some flashes and sounds of magic could be heard. I stop at the doorway and peer in seeing Twilight and Spike standing by a table littered with beakers and phials filled with varying liquids. The seemed busy with an experiment of sorts that they didn't notice me. As I was about to make my presence known they start talking making me pause.

"Hey, Twilight? Can I ask you something?" The drake frowns picking up one of the beakers and swirling it around.

"Of course, Spike!" She says while her full attention at pouring a solution of mysterious serum into another.

He kinda huffs. "What's gonna happen when Charlie goes home? If we, you know, find a way back for him I mean."

The mare pauses for a second and looks down at the drake. "What do you mean, Spike, he'll be home obviously and we won't be making him miserable anymore."

"Ha… I don't think its us doing that. He seems to be able to do that by himself pretty well." He snorts to himself. The drake then pokes his fingers together as if he wants to ask something he doesn't want to. "What I meant was, will we see him again? It honestly wouldn't be the same around here without him especially after so long…"

The Unicorn frowns thinking. "I… don't know. I think it will more than likely be a one way kind of trip, Spike. I seriously doubt he'd be able to return given the circumstances. It was a freak accident that he was brought here in the first place." Twilight looks down as if she was conflicted about something. "And you're right, it would certainly be a lot quieter around here that's for sure but he has to go home! He hates it here."

Spike looks down at the floor. "I know… Its just-" He shakes his head out of frustration and sighs. "Never mind. Lets just get this stupid thing done." The dragon grabs another beaker and pours it into another and it poofs up smoke and a small flash.

They watch the this now brown watery substance settle and frown. Twilight sighs again. "Another failed attempt… We're never gonna get this right…"

I frown hearing the conversation but turn and leave. They'll be working more than likely go on throughout the night so there's no need to bother them with my stunning personality. Besides, I'm getting a headache and some much needed rest will do me some good.

At least until tomorrow.

Another day another headache…