Thank you for all the lovely reviews, again!
I'd like to think by this point in the story, my Damon and Elena have both grown in different ways to the canon; still themselves but growing closer to the later season versions of themselves than the S1/2 versions that were still repressing so much pain rather than processing it.
This chapter and the last one were originally one chapter, but I just couldn't stop writing and my ability to edit away scenes is almost non-existent. I'll work on it, or the 10 remaining chapters may turn into 20!
Apologies again that this chapter includes Stefan being self-righteous. I'm not Stefan's biggest fan, but Damon can't heal without his brother and I kind of like calling Stefan out on being a hypocrite.
x-x-x-x
Gingerly, she followed him down the steps. Their fingers were intertwined, and he squeezed her hand as she crossed the threshold to the cellar. Only a fool would bring her to this conversation, to allow Stefan to tell her every irredeemable quality he held. Yet, he couldn't let go of the need to have her.
His ears were open, listening to his brother's snores as they went down the corridor holding her hand tighter as they reached the door.
She reached for the handle, and he practically growled, one corner of his upper lip arching in a scowl he was pretty sure had made others faint. Elena merely raised an eyebrow at him, then went on her toes to place a kiss on his forehead.
"Trust me," She whispered, before letting go of his hand to undo the latch.
He did, of course he did, but he was still scared of hell. His brother had had a day to mull on his imprisonment, Stefan was sure to be hungry and pissed. A part of him wanted her there, though. A part of him was desperate to trust his brother.
So, he let her undo the latch and begin to open the door. He was damned if he wasn't going to be the barrier between them though; Stefan would have to rip him into a thousand pieces to get to her. They stood, the door closed behind him, Elena behind him holding onto the back of his jeans as he guarded her.
They'd dropped the outward displays of affection without any thought, and he was longing to have her hand again, to have an arm around her. The feel of her hand discreetly on his waistband, her knuckles brushing the skin on the small of his back under his shirt. That contact would have to be enough for now.
"Hello, brother." He said loudly, clearing his throat. His brother hadn't always been a deep sleeper, it had come with puberty. Damon fondly remembered the years or trying to soothe him to sleep before father discovered they were awake after hours.
Stefan opened one eye, saw him, and groaned. He closed his eyes again as he sat up, swinging his legs off the cot and placing his head in his hands. He rubbed his eyes and stroked his hair, which was looking decidedly scruffier than Damon had seen it in years.
"I don't want to talk to you, Damon." He said, his voice cold and distant.
He still hadn't woken properly, hadn't noticed Elena peeking out from behind his shoulder. He could feel her breath on his arm, calming him.
"You have no choice, Stefan. Unless you'd rather go off gallivanting with Katherine." Perhaps Stefan would anyway once he'd realised where Elena's loyalties lay. Damon hoped not, he'd always hated seeing Katherine with Stefan and not just out of jealousy. His brother had always been kind, pure, trusting. He shouldn't be with a manipulative bitch who left him asunder for a century and a half.
That statement caught his attention and Stefan looked up through his eyebrows, his eyes skirting past Damon's to meet with hers. His brother's look was filled with such happiness, such devotion that Damon's heart felt frozen. How could he possibly be denying him that happiness? How could Elena not want that?
It was as if she sensed his anxiety, her finger sliding across his back in a soothing gesture. He couldn't see her expression, he couldn't know if she was matching Stefan's gaze, but his younger brother's next words gave him relief.
"You've compelled her." Damon knew that accusation was coming, knew it would be Stefan's first suggestion. The pain of the statement was blunted by the prior knowledge of it, and he was able to keep his face smooth.
Elena's reaction wasn't as measured and she attempted to step out from behind him as she demanded, "No."
Blocking her with his arm, he went with the response he had planned earlier. God help him if she wouldn't forgive this.
"Once. The night we met. Never since." He could hear her intake of breath, feel her pace quicken. He should have probably told her this upstairs, but their resolve to face Stefan would have dissipated in the time it took him to explain. Plus, he was too selfish to tell her that unless he had to.
He could have been wrong; his brother might not have accused him of compulsion.
Stefan growled at the admission, "You're a monster."
Again, Elena moved behind him, but he stayed as a steady barricade, preventing her from being exposed to his brother.
"No, Stefan. I met her on the road, after she called for a lift. I thought she was Katherine, but when I realised that she wasn't, we just spoke. I gave her a few words of wisdom, and then I compelled her to forget because I didn't want anyone to know I was in town. Like pretty much every other visit, I was choosing to lay low."
Elena's hand let go of him, and he could have sworn the whole world began to fade in front of his eyes before her hand took his instead. She was almost beside him now, but the gesture had weakened his resolve to act as a shield. He stayed on guard but let her meet his brother's haunting gaze.
"When you left Stefan, I cried. I cried and I complained, and I moaned, and I reacted just as any girl would when their boyfriend left town. I was mad at you, for the secrets about Katherine and human blood, but I got over it." Elena addressed him, fierce like the lioness she was.
God, her very voice was beautiful.
"When there was danger, Damon was there. He gave me lifts after another vampire turned my car into a pile of scrap metal. He was there when I found out I was adopted. He was there when I met my birth mother. He brought me gifts when we argued and gave me space when I needed it."
Stefan's face was slowly falling, his eyes darting about as the reality started to take hold.
"Sometimes I needed him, sometimes he needed me. We were there for each other. We found each other and we just couldn't let go. It's new to us too, and it's scary as hell, but it's the truth."
She squeezed his hand, sending a wave of admiration through him and he turned to smile, proudly at her. There was no way on earth he could have said it as eloquently, but she was right. He'd known he should leave town half a dozen times, but always found a reason to stay. Even when he'd given her space he'd left gifts, reasons to think of her and for her to think of him.
Looking back up at him, she was speechless, lost in his eyes as he could become so easily lost in hers.
"Stefan, Elena's birth parents are in town. John Gilbert, her human uncle, and Isobel Fleming, her vampire birth mother and Alaric's ex-wife. They wanted an old device that Emily Bennett spelled for Johnathan Gilbert. A device that kills vampires." He paused, letting Stefan take in the abundance of information, his head in his hands.
"After last night, after Katherine tried to use you to get that device, I chose to give them it. After protecting us all, of course." Damon watched his brother nervously, watched him put the pieces together, the frustration in his expression as the puzzle fell into place.
"You're saying it was Katherine here last night?" He looked up at Damon for the first time, meeting his eyes with an honest question.
Damon nodded, "Elena was with me at the time."
Memories of her falling into bed with him flashed across his mind, the spots that caused her to moan as he kissed them, nibbling and teasing. God, the sounds of her moans had been heavenly. He bit his lip at the memory.
It was only when he heard his brother scream, "You bastard!" did he snap out of his daydream and back into the reality of Stefan leaping for him. It was a miracle he managed to get Elena pushed to the side before he took the impact of his brother.
x-x-x-x
She barely saw Stefan leap before she was knocked out of the way, landing on her backside in the corner of the cell as she watched Damon and his brother throw each other around the small room. She brought her knees up to her face and wrapped her arms around them, watching what she could.
Damon was letting Stefan go, letting him get the punches and kicks in and barely hitting back. Sure, he kept getting back up and knocking his brother against the wall, but he wasn't inflicting nearly the same amount of damage that Stefan was trying to put on him. Elena knew Damon was stronger, so why was he letting Stefan beat the crap out of him?
Stefan was trying to get his hands inside Damon, pulling at chunks of flesh, tearing his shirt. She had to look away as the bile rose in her throat at the sight of Damon's blood.
This was her fault. The brothers were fighting because she'd fallen for them both. If she'd had better restraint, better self-control they wouldn't be fighting. She cursed herself again, not the first time regretting her lack of self-control. After all, it was her impulse to love Damon that was causing the fight, it was her impulse to chase Stefan when her brain had told her not to date him, her impulse to go to a party that night that had changed everything in the first place.
Now she knew she'd met Damon that night, she wished she had made different choices. What if she'd asked him for a lift?
Then they wouldn't be fighting, then her parents wouldn't be dead. Vicki wouldn't be dead. Her man wouldn't be lying on the floor getting kicked by his brother.
Her resolve took over, that lack of self-control she hated so much rising to the surface as she threw herself across the room, landing on top of Damon just in time.
x-x-x-x
As if the world was in slow motion, Stefan looked down at his own foot and then at the place her body should have been. He'd kicked thin air with a force that could fracture spines. Damon had moved too quickly for him to see, his brother had the power to get out of their fight at any point but he'd only done it to save Elena.
Stefan had almost killed her, would have if not for Damon's quick reaction.
Dropping to his knees, he looked around the cell. His brother was still there his arms folded as he leant back against the cell door, his lips puckered as he bit the inside of his cheeks- a look of frustration on his face.
The wounds on Damon's face and exposed arms were slowly healing, an obviously broken finger still swollen. Stefan looked down at his own arms, only his bloodied knuckles showed any damage. The realisation that Damon had only defended himself hit him like a freight train. Usually, Damon would overpower him in moments, a quick throw, or a stake to the stomach. This fight had been different, longer. Stefan had lost control.
It had been decades since they'd fought like that, perhaps a century. They'd both lashed out since, Stefan has certainly vervained Damon and they'd shoved each other about, but he hadn't unleashed that fury since...
Since he was a ripper.
Was that what he was becoming again? Was the jealousy of seeing his girlfriend hold his brother's hand that overwhelming?
Or was it knowing Katherine was back? That he'd held her and hadn't even known. Did he want to know? Did he want to see her?
His eyes tried to search beyond Damon, through the slots in the door, but his brother's shoulders blocked his vision.
"Elena, I'm sorry." He whispered. Damon sneered at him.
"I know, Stefan. I'm okay." Her voice was trembling, far from the confidence she had held when she was professing her love for his brother. "Damon, let me back in."
Damon's response was a visceral, guttural, growl. The dark lines around his eyes had reappeared and his fangs were out, his eyes never leaving Stefan. He'd almost hurt Elena; almost killed her, and now his brother's protective instincts were displayed before him. Stefan had never seen him like that with anyone.
It was clear Damon loved Elena, and though Stefan was surprised his brother was capable of such love he was happy for it. All he had wanted for decades was for his brother to be happy; not the party-hard kind of happy where the blood and the booze kept every other emotion at bay, or the serene happiness that came with the humanity switch- putting a wall up to every emotion that could disturb a happy life. Even happiness itself, paradoxically.
He almost wanted the wall, only with the wall up would he not feel the guilt of almost harming Elena. With the wall, he wouldn't have to feel the green monster of jealousy rising in his eyes along with the bile in his throat as he watched his brother love her. He wouldn't have to feel the regret of leaving months ago when he should have stayed. He should have fought for her, loved her.
But then Lexi had been right, he was a monster, and he would eventually turn her into a monster. With the wall up, he wouldn't have to feel the pain of that, the guilt of all the lives he'd taken. Their names would not be on repeat in his head when he tried to sleep, an endless loop of suffering that he had caused. With the wall up, he wouldn't fantasise about a future where her name was on that list. A future where she willingly spent eternity with him.
With the wall up, he wouldn't have to feel like his heart was being ripped out of his body every time he watched her with his brother. Which could possibly be for eternity, Damon would have no qualms about turning her into a monster.
Suddenly, Damon's hands were on his face, the moistness of the blood on his palms making contact with his stubble. Stefan wondered briefly if it was his own blood or Damon's, he knew the answer to that and it deepened his resolve.
"No. You do not get to walk away from this, brother," Damon's look grounded him, it was the same look he had used when they were boys and Stefan absolutely had to follow the instructions so that Damon would avoid their father's wrath.
"Elena is fine, I am fine. You can punch as many holes in me as you want, I deserve that, but I will always, always have the strength to protect her."
Once again grounded back in this world, his eyes on his brother, Stefan heard his words.
"You'll turn her to protect her," He spat, his brow furrowing. Vampirism was the worst thing to ever happen to them, to ever happen to him. It shouldn't happen to her, she was too perfect.
"Yes," Damon said without hesitation, both of their eyes flickering to the girl just outside the door as she exhaled sharply, "But not unless it's the only way, or if she wants me to."
Damon's eyes were softer, gentler than Stefan had seen them in centuries, only briefly in the 40's and again in the 90's had Damon shown any softness towards his brother. Both times, he'd followed it by letting Stefan down.
"You say that now, Damon, but somehow you always fuck it up. What happens when you kill one of her relatives? Or how about when you just don't turn up, go missing for years? What happens to Elena when you switch your humanity off?" The pain of those memories was getting though, reminding him of all the reasons his brother was bad for Elena.
This was what Damon did, he let people down. He left friends on rooftops to burn, he killed indiscriminately.
Damon flinched at Stefan's words, his jaw hardening and the softness in his eyes frosting up, the icy blue glaring at him. Yet, he didn't lash out.
"You know what, Stefan? For decades I've let you judge me, let you decide I'm evil based on your version of events. If you want to keep doing that, feel free." Damon sounded resigned to fate as he turned away.
"Then tell me." Stefan sighed, returning to sit on the cot, "You've taken my girl, locked me up here. The least you owe me is an explanation."
Damon shook his head, opening the door to leave. She stood in his way, her arms folded, and her eyebrows raised.
x-x-x-x
Damon sighed, rolling his eyes. His brother wanted a heart-to-heart and he couldn't escape it without Elena judging him. He briefly considered just picking her up and carrying her back upstairs. Hell, he could probably think of a thousand ways to distract her.
Eventually though, she'd remember. Plus, the distraction wouldn't be fun if she kept mentioning his brother. That would be more than a slight turn off.
Taking Elena's hands in his, he rested his forehead on hers.
"Don't make me do this," He whispered, his eyes closing as he awaited her response. He desperately wanted to not have to explain some of the worst decisions he'd ever made.
"You need this, Damon. You both do. I'll be upstairs." She said softly.
"Stay," He urged. However much he didn't want to have this conversation, he definitely didn't want to have to repeat himself again later. There were only so many times he could relive those moments, and he was pretty sure the first time was enough.
More importantly, he was pretty sure that without her there he would not be able to overcome the temptation to physically remove the look of superiority from his brother's face.
Turning back to Stefan, her dainty fingers still intertwined with his, he opened himself up to his brother, "What do you want to know, Stef?"
"Why didn't you turn up in 1942?" He asked. Of course, Stefan would go there first, the time Damon had literally abandoned him and let him go to war alone. Damon had plenty of reasons for not wanting to cast his mind back to New Orleans in the 40's.
"Lexi thought my lifestyle might derail your ripper recovery; after I saw your reaction to my girlfriend having a little snack, I agreed with her." Damon said, his hand squeezing Elena's as he mentioned an ex, even if it was more than half a century ago. Charlotte hadn't meant much to him anyway, unfortunately it had been a very one-sided relationship.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Stefan asked, sadness in his voice.
"What good would it have done? I'd only be telling you that I was too selfish to change my diet in order to spend time with my baby brother, that my hedonistic lifestyle was too important to me. I sent you to war, alone, because I didn't want to eat bunnies, or donkeys. I definitely wouldn't be trying camels, not even if it meant death."
Even Stefan pulled a look of disgust at the thought and shuddered at the thought.
"Thinking you were selfish would be better than thinking you didn't care at all." He responded. Damon just shrugged.
"Why did you kill Joseph and disappear?" Stefan asked, his eyes cast downwards.
"Would you believe me if I told you he attacked me first?" He raised the corner of his lip and one eyebrow, conveying his honesty to Stefan as best he could.
"Why would he do that?" Stefan asked, bewildered. "The Salvatores protected our secret."
Damon laughed, he couldn't help himself, "Joseph sold us out. I thought you'd realise, come after me, save me. Instead, you labelled me a murderer and left me to rot."
Stefan's eyes scanned his face, the realisation of Damon's honesty slowly descending over his features.
"Your humanity." He whispered to himself.
Damon flinched, "A victim of my escape." He couldn't help himself sneering at his brother. Elena squeezed his hand, her spare hand coming to rest on his chest.
"You can't blame me, Damon. You drink human blood, what was I supposed to think when I found a body in the house?" The self-righteousness in Stefan's voice made Damon want to sneer, to lash out and leave. His brother was making excuses again, defending his actions as he always did. Somehow, it always turned out to be Damon's fault. Stefan was more like their father than he would care to admit.
Elena rested her head on his shoulder, reminding him of the reason he'd agreed to this in the first place. They needed Stefan to be on side, to be able to discover what the bitch wanted with the Gilbert device.
"I don't know, Stef? Investigate? I mean, if I found a headless corpse today, I wouldn't immediately accuse you. I'd at least find you first." He sighed.
"What about making my life an eternal misery?" Stefan asked, his one cold, "Why should I believe you've not done all this to upset me when you keep vowing to do that?"
Damon rolled his eyes, "So, I'm a drama queen. I get mad and I shout, and I say stupid shit. Sue me."
He paused, catching his brother's eye. "I only said that when I was pissed. I want you to be happy Stef, you're my brother."
Stefan nodded, running his hands through his hair. "Then why did you steal her from me, Damon?"
He wanted to argue, to say he had no choice, that what happened just happened, but he didn't get a chance.
"I wasn't yours to steal, Stefan." Elena said, her hand still possessively on Damon's chest.
She led him out of the cell, neither stopping to close the door behind them.
x-x-x-x
Bree was busy in the kitchen as Damon entered, propping himself up against the counter and watching her.
Elena was taking a bath upstairs and she'd declined his offer of company. He was pretty sure he could have convinced her, but her reasoning was sound- she didn't want Stefan to overhear.
"I'm going to need another soundproofing spell, Bree." He said, "Stefan's staying for a while."
Or at least he hoped his brother was, they'd left the decision up to him and Damon had heard him plod up to his room, stomping on the stairs like a toddler having a tantrum. That didn't mean he wasn't going to search Katherine out tomorrow or the next day, though.
"Then I'm going to need you to make these." Bree said, raising an eyebrow at him.
Damon inspected her current project, which seemed to involve grenades and a pale liquid that looks scarily like vervain.
"Are you insane?" He asked, "If I set one of those off it will ruin these stunningly handsome features."
Bree merely rolled her eyes at him, sighing slightly.
"Insane, tired, desperate for a day off, call it what you will." She sighed.
"I thought today was your day off?" He asked, his eyes bouncing as he tried to recall her shift pattern on a calendar in his mind.
"My point exactly." Bree snapped. "If I'm not at the grill, I'm busy making potions for you, or teaching Bonnie, or watching over your mildly deranged brother. I want a day off!"
Picking her up and placing her in the spot he had been leaning, he started copying her motions, hoping he had a steady enough hand to not burn his fingers off. Healing that would sting like a bitch.
"Go, get ready. We're going out." He smirked at Bree. "The good bartender is on at the grill tonight."
x-x-x-x
Caroline answered her phone on the first ring. Sure, she was pissed at Elena, but they would still always be friends. If Elena was making the first move, Caroline would respond.
"Hey Care, fancy a movie night?" Caroline couldn't help her wide grin.
"Sure, where?" She asked, excitedly.
"Erm, the Salvatore Boarding House." Elena mumbled, quietly. Did she really just say that?
"Eww, is Damon going to be there? I am not being a third wheel to your make out session." Elena actually giggled, it was a rare sound and Caroline couldn't help but smile.
"No, he's going out with Bree. I thought you and Bonnie might want to come around. Stefan's here as well, I think." So, it wasn't quite a girl's night then, Caroline thought. Bonnie being invited was a good sign, it hopefully meant that the arguments earlier would be settled, sorted.
"Okay, then can I invite someone?" She asked, trying to keep the squeal out of her voice.
She could practically hear Elena's eyes roll as she responded, "Of course, Tyler can come."
"See you at 8?" Caroline asked, checking her watch.
x-x-x-x
Elena was done brushing her hair when the doorbell rang, and she headed down the stairs. Damon had opened the door in greeting, and both Caroline and Tyler were standing there.
Caroline had always struggled to hide her emotions, her face furrowing instantly at the sight of Damon. Tyler's face wasn't much better, but he did have the wherewithal to smooth his features quickly and offer his hand out graciously.
"Good evening, Mr Salvatore." He said, causing Elena to burst out laughing from her vantage point on the stairs.
Damon's handshake in return must have been more than slightly firm, Tyler winced slightly.
"Damon, please. I'm nowhere near old enough to be called 'Mr Salvatore'" Elena rolled her eyes at that and came down the stairs to greet her friends.
Soon, they were all gathered in the snug, the best place to watch a movie. The only room in the house to have furniture that looked like it was from this millennia, with a large wide-screen TV. There was also a DVD player with a selection of DVDs.
Sat cross-legged in front of them, she suddenly picked out the best film.
"Got it! Twilight: New Moon!" She turned to grin at Bonnie, who just laughed out loud. She could hear Damon laughing in the other room, the sound growing as he came over.
"You kids enjoy movie night," he said, popping his head around the door.
Passing the DVD care to Tyler, who was shaking his head at the thought of a chick flick, she walked to the door to meet him.
"Stay safe." She whispered to him, barely above a sound. He nodded, stroking the side of her face.
"You too." He responded, "Bonnie better be up to this. Keep your phone on you." He said, his eyes showing worry as his eyebrows raised and he scanned her face as if he was committing every part of it to memory.
"I'll miss you." She placed a light kiss on his lips. He responded by pulling her in, his hand winding its way through her hair to the nape of her neck as his lips parted. His other hand wrapped around her waist, pulling her body against his.
She met his passion with her own, her arms wrapping around his neck as she nibbled at his lip, kissing him as if it was the last time that she would see him. They should always say goodbye that way.
After they finally parted and she watched him walk away, admiring the tightness of his jeans, she turned back to her friends. Their eyes were all as wide as saucers as she looked at them. Even Bonnie looked shocked by the display of affection.
Caroline was the first to break the silence, "So, something you need to tell us?"
x-x-x-x
100K words, how did that happen? As a new writer, I imagined what I thought would be a nice, easy story to write and it just snowballed!
Thank you especially to CosmicAdventurer, without her I might have given this writing thing up as a bad job.
As it is, she's made me determined to finish!