(A/N): Jerremyah's reaction to Leo saying he would take matters into his own hands, if he ended up becoming immortal.

Trigger Warning: Same as last chapter, basically. Mentions of suicide/suicidal ideation. Not really all that prominent in this chapter, but once you understand more of what Leo means- as I explain it more in a chapter that comes a little later than this- certain parts of this are given context, and that context might be triggering to some, I think?

Jerremyah

He- what? He must have seen the look on my face- the way it dropped, as I felt a genuine spike of fear flood my system- because he rolled his eyes at me.

"I wouldn't worry about it." Oh, I certainly fucking would!

"What are you-?" What are you planning to do? What are you talking about? And, most prominently: What are you trying to do, break Lisbet's heart? "What-?" His arms shifted, as he tightened his grip on his own bicep.

"Nothing's going to happen for at least eight months- if the vampire contingent- or my mother, or Jonothan- don't get to me first." Which was almost as fear inducing as his earlier assertion, if slightly less heart wrenching.

"Does... does Lisbet know about this?" He tilted his head to the side, his face screwed up, and then, after a few seconds of consideration, he shrugged rather tensely.

"I don't know. I'd say I've made it pretty clear, but we've never talked about it directly, so... I'm not sure." He narrowed his eyes at me, and I had to stop myself from jumping at the shock of such an inhospitable expression on his face. The last time- the only time- he had directed such a look at me, was when I had tried to confirm that Elaine was Tarea Hugar's daughter. He had been annoyed, or frustrated, with me before that, and since, but never... never this. It was never this serious. "And you are not going to tell her." I wasn't? I felt my eyebrows furrow.

"I- I think- Leo..." He cocked an eyebrow at me, somehow looking both impatient, and like he would wait as long as I needed to be able to get the words out. "I think she should know." He opened his mouth, but I pushed forward, effectively cutting him off. "Not that I should tell her- that's not my place- but... I feel like it's something you need to talk about with her- I... I think that's the sort of thing she deserves to know." His face morphed from agitated to dismayed, and he seemed to mull this over.

"I just..." He hesitated, and I had to fight the urge to comfort him- mostly because I had no idea how I would go about doing so. His voice got much quieter, and his arms shifted once more- but this time, it wasn't in a guarded, standoffish way, but a protective sort of way. "I don't want to disappoint her." It was almost a whisper- and I swear I heard my heart creak as it threatened to break in two, within my chest.

"Gamin... I don't think you could ever truly disappoint her- not you." I specifically used 'gamin', instead of 'fiston', because I didn't want to risk using a word that could even possibly be interpreted as meaning 'son'. Huh, I guess now I understood Lisbet's fear of calling him her kit- not that the two situations were in any way comparable. He looked touched by that, but like he didn't really believe me. Not... not necessarily like he thought I was lying, but just... misinformed.

"I think you overestimate our bond." I shrugged, faux casually.

"Or maybe you, underestimate your bond." He looked a little bit flustered by that.

"...maybe." He acknowledged, a bit weakly, before he paused to think for a second. "I... we need to talk, anyway." I thought we already were. "I told her that I loved her, almost as if it were something to joke about, and then sort of dismissed it. She deserves more than that- I was just kind of drained, from talking to Jo and Shari, but... I shouldn't have left it like that." Oh, he was talking about Lisbet. That- that made more sense. I remember what he was talking about- it had made my chest ache to hear it.

"You're going to go straight from... 'taking matters into your own hands'-" I had no illusions about what he meant by that. "To telling her you love her?" He winced, and shrugged.

"It would be a good palate cleanser- but no, I don't think that's the way to do it. I'd like to start with a subject we've already sort of broached- ease into it, maybe. Also, I..." He hesitated. "I know that sometimes... she... she's reluctant to touch me." I opened my mouth to argue this point, but he amended himself before I could actually say anything. "Not reluctant- that's not the right word. There are points where she touches me more- like earlier. It's like, once she breaks the seal, the floodgates open, and it seems like all she wants to do is be in contact with me." He flushed slightly. "I like those moments." I did too. "But I think... I think it would be better if that seal was broken, before I got to the point of bringing that up." Yeah, that might be a good idea. Not that I thought Lisbet could be kept from trying to physically comfort him, if it came to that- which I didn't doubt it would.

"I think- I don't want to speak for her, but... I think she worries that you won't like it. That she wants to touch you more than you want her to touch you." He frowned, and his flush intensified.

"I don't think that's something she needs to worry about. I'm a very tactile person- I didn't used to be, but... well, I guess that was mostly Elaine's doing." Hm... maybe she wasn't so bad, after all. "It... I've never really had- well..." He hesitated. "I hadn't had a lot of people in my life who were physically affectionate, before I met Elaine. Mia needed it, but our mother disapproved, so we had to be secretive about it, and... and I left so long ago. My dad... he wasn't exactly the affectionate sort, in general- he did his best, but... well, I think that might be a generational issue." Yeah, that... sounded like the Ellwood family I knew.

"And she- Elaine, she's..." I considered how to phrase this, in a way that was least likely to make him want to punch me. "I don't know how best to say this. I don't mean to talk bad about her, or anything like that, I just... and it's probably not my place to ask this, but I'm new here, and I haven't- I haven't had much proof of who she is as a person, other than that you think very highly of her, and she's nothing like her father. Is she- does she-" God, I was making such a fucking mess of this. "She's kind to you? She treats you well?" He had been watching me stumble with a slightly amused, but ultimately patient look, but when I said this, he started absolutely beaming.

"Yes." He said, rather emphatically. "She's the kindest- the most compassionate- she's- Lily's my best friend- my best female friend, and Remus is my best male friend, but Elaine- Elaine is Elaine. She just gets me- better than anyone else ever has- and probably ever could. There aren't words to describe what she means to me- and I'm sure she would say the same, about me. She-" He blushed quite strongly, but he didn't necessarily look embarrassed, but instead, happily flustered. "The way I act about her- it- it's mutual. Our friends have been exasperated with us for years, trying to convince us that we were both... besotted idiots." And at what point in that, had he entered a relationship with Brooke? And why had they broken up? Clearly it couldn't have been because of Elaine, since he had told me that he wouldn't risk killing her, just to be able to date her.

"I guess I just... well, I have a hard time trusting people, and I suppose that translates to this situation. You just.. you describe her with such... well, love. Admiration. Adoration- all of that. And it's not just her- your friends, Lisbet, your sister- I... I don't have many people who I would... gush about, like that." He started looking slightly embarrassed, but that wouldn't do. "It's a good thing, that you do- it's just something I haven't had much experience with. I have Lisbet- well... I had Lisbet, and I guess I have her again, now, just in a very different way- and Grey, and Nuria, Minsi and Evie, but... telling people how I feel about them has always been an issue for me. It takes me a very long time, a lot of close contact, to get to that point and even then, other than with Lisbet- my mate- it's never come easily." His eyebrows furrowed, as he seemed to try to digest this.

"Right, I get that. But, um... who's Evie?"

(A/N): Jerremyah in the last chapter: 'I pretended not to notice that he had just revealed another one of his friend's name's to me.'

Jerremyah in this chapter: *mentions Evie*

Leo: 'Très intéressant.'

also

Leo: 'Don't worry about it.'

Jerremyah: 'Hm? What? I can't hear you over the sound of ME, WORRYING ABOUT IT!'

also

Leo: 'We need to talk, anyway.'

Jerremyah: '?I thought we already were?'

I hesitate to call Jerremyah a himbo, because I don't think he's dumb, exactly, but sometimes he is a little... clueless.

Translations (French):

Gamin = Kiddo (kid/child, male version of gamine. I looked up 'kiddo in French' and a few options popped up, but gamin was the most popular one, and the alternative meanings were all acceptable to me, so I went with that.)

Fiston = Son/kid/boy/lad/buddy (one of the options when I looked up 'kiddo in French', but I don't think 'kiddo' or 'kid' were the most common meanings for it anyway, and Jerremyah didn't want to call Leo 'son' presumptuously.)

Très intéressant = Very Interesting.