Chapter 16
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Albert took the opportunity while Howard was waiting to be transported back to Arizona to bring Jee to visit him even though Howard hadn't yet asked him to. He was asking about her during calls, wanting to know that she was okay and that his family were still allowed to see her whenever they wanted. He also needed to tell him about packing up the apartment and breaking the lease but he wouldn't do that while Jee-Yun was with him.
Buck accompanied Albert in the car because he wanted to be on hand to help settle Jee when they came out if it was needed. He trusted that Albert would do as he promised and would leave as soon as Jee or Chimney started to get upset.
Chimney was pleased to see Albert and Jee though again a little upset at how much Jee had grown and changed since he'd been in prison. She was far more used to interacting with a wide range of people than she had been and tolerated him holding her and babbled at him for a while, blowing bubbles, making Chimney and Albert smile.
"She's telling you about her swimming lesson this morning," Albert told his brother, laughing at the little girl.
"What?" Chimney asked.
"She's learning to blow bubbles as she goes under the water. She always does that with everyone after swimming. She loves being in the water," Albert explained.
"Did you take her swimming?" Chimney asked.
"No Buck or Eddie or Carla take her depending on who's working," Albert said. "She goes to day care one morning a week to learn to play with other children her age too."
"Is she still staying with John and Anne?" Chimney asked.
"Yes, she spends about 12 hours per week with them, and regularly spends time with Hen and Karen, and Bobby and Athena too," Albert told him.
"What about the Buckleys?" Chimney asked.
"They haven't visited since Maddie's been gone," Albert said.
"They aren't answering my calls. Do they even know that Maddie is missing?" Chimney demanded.
"I don't know, you'd have to ask Buck. That's his business," Albert said.
Chimney huffed. "Maddie is my business. They might have heard from her and know where she is," he insisted.
"Buck doesn't think so. He's pretty confident that if Maddie needed help she'd call you or Buck or Josh. He said Maddie wouldn't want to show Margaret and Phillip Buckley any weakness and he's not willing to snitch on her," Albert replied.
"He…"
"If you start yelling then Jee and I are out of here. I promised that I wouldn't let you upset her like you did last time," Albert interrupted when Chimney started to argue.
"She's my daughter! Nobody has the right to stop me from seeing her!" Chimney hissed.
""I'm not trying to stop you from spending time with your daughter, I'm trying to stop you from frightening her," Albert said calmly but firmly.
Chimney stared at him for a moment in shock, his little brother had grown up without him noticing.
Jee started to cry and Albert reached for her. Chimney abruptly pulled her out of his reach and told Albert to get the hell out.
Albert reluctantly signalled the guard, who came over and insisted that he hand the baby back because visiting time was over.
A second guard came over and between them they freed Jee from Chimney's grasp handing her to Albert who quickly left the room.
Now that the trial was concluded, Buck was free to tell the whole story to Maddie and after deliberating with Eddie and Athena whether it would risk harming his sister's mental state, he decided that she had the right to know about what was going on with her boyfriend and her daughter. It would be Maddie's decision whether she went back to Chimney or not, but Buck did not feel comfortable with letting her do it without knowing all the facts.
He sent her a short email suggesting that she be somewhere safe with someone she trusted before she opened his next message and then a long email explaining why he'd been unable to tell her before because Chimney had listed her as a witness, whether that was because he thought she could provide him with some sort of alibi or justification for the assault and battery or as a character witness hadn't been clear on the paperwork Buck had received from Chimney's lawyer. He also sent a copy of his medical reports and the sentence along with Chimney's current address in case she wanted to get in touch with him, and a text warning her about the email.
Buck had no idea whether Maddie was even reading her emails since she left Los Angeles. She never replied but Buck knew that if it had been him he would have given into the curiosity to know what was going on with his former friends and family. Because as time passed, that's what Buck felt like more and more, that Maddie was now part of his past and not his present, he didn't have any real hope that she'd one day become a real part of his life in the future, even if she did come back long enough to regain custody of Jee-Yun. He only hoped that she would let him remain a part of his niece's life if that happened.
He told himself not to lose heart, that it wasn't a bad sign that Maddie didn't reply, that it might just mean that she hadn't read her email. He wouldn't give up on her unless he heard that she'd started writing to Chimney instead of replying to him. He felt guilty that a part of him was relieved that CPS hadn't contacted him to inform him that Maddie was starting the process of reacquiring custody of Jee-Yun.
Hen wasn't pleased to still be denied access to Buck and Eddie's address even after she'd agreed not to tell it to Chimney. With Chimney gone for at least another sixteen months she was sure he'd calm down or Maddie would be back before he got out. Buck wasn't so sure and insisted that nothing had changed. And if Maddie still hadn't returned or got in contact by the time Chimney was released Buck could see him being completely desperate to get her back as a way of returning to when his life was good, as if her presence would erase all the other problems he would have as an ex-con, who had to pass an anger management course, intensive therapy and a childrearing course before gaining unsupervised access to his daughter.
As a joke Eddie offered to blindfold her and drive her to the house so she could look around and see where they lived, he was shocked when both Hen and Karen took him up on it. He and Buck went through the house making sure that any subscriptions or letters with their address on it were locked away and then Eddie spent over an hour driving them around in circles before bringing them to the house and parking the truck inside the garage. Once the garage door was shut he allowed them to remove their blindfolds and get out of the truck, it was evening so Buck had all the blinds and curtains on the street side of the house shut.
Karen loved the house, the polished floors that Chris found easy to move about on, the warm homey colours of the rooms. They were both a little surprised that Buck and Eddie clearly had their own rooms and both of them looked equally lived in. The tour ended in the kitchen where Karen drooled over the layout and the state of the art appliances Buck had upgraded the kitchen with and Hen drooled over the smell coming from the pots on the stove and the oven.
Chris was disappointed that Denny hadn't come with them, even more when he heard he was spending the night at Michael and David's with Harry Grant. He knew that his friend was too curious and would have used the visit to play spy games and try to find the address and had reluctantly agreed that he shouldn't be invited but it was hard to know his friends were together without him. Jee was just happy to have more people to pay attention to her, she loved visiting Hen and Karen and having them here in her home where she could show them all her precious things was a real treat for her.
After Jee went to bed, and Chris to his room to play his switch or read, Eddie brought out the wine, reminding the women that neither of them had to drive home or get up to Denny in the morning and both had the day off. The three of them enjoyed a couple of bottles while Buck carefully limited himself to a single glass so he could safely drive them home.
Buck sighed as he saw his mother's name on his phone. He hadn't heard from her since the failure of their first attempt at family therapy after he'd found out that he'd had a brother he'd been born to save and failed.
"Hi Mom. This call is being recorded," Buck answered, figuring that he might as well record the evidence of this call as well in case his parents started making threats of removing Jee from his custody.
"Evan, I'm worried about your sister, she's not answering her phone," Margaret Buckley said without greeting him.
"She's not answering my calls either I don't know where she is, or what she's doing," Buck replied.
"When did you last speak with her?" Phillip asked.
"Just before New Year," Buck replied.
"Your sister has disappeared and you didn't think to tell us," Margaret scolded angrily.
"I honestly didn't think you'd answer if I did call you," Buck said bluntly. "Besides I half expected her to be back before you noticed."
"What do you mean?" Margaret demanded. "We should come out there and visit."
"I wouldn't bother, she left of her own accord. She was planning to leave LA for a while and wouldn't tell me where she was going three months ago," Buck replied.
"What about my granddaughter," Margaret demanded.
"What about her?" Buck asked, not willing to tell his mother that he had custody of Jee-Yun.
"Are you telling me that you've not heard from your sister at all in three months? What did you do to her?" Phillip asked, inadvertently distracting his wife away from thoughts of her granddaughter.
"I didn't do anything, she started cutting me out of her life a few months after Jee was born. I guess she didn't need the child she was forced to unwillingly raise anymore, now she has one of her own," Buck said bitterly.
"She rang me about a month ago, demanding to information from me, but didn't tell me anything about where she was or when she'd be back."
"Is Howard with her?" Phillip asked.
"No he's in prison, he doesn't know where she went either," Buck replied.
"What!" Margaret yelled.
"Maddie just took off without telling any of us until after the fact. I couldn't have stopped her from leaving," Buck said defensively.
"What's Howard in prison for?" Phillip demanded.
"Assault and battery, not of Maddie or Jee and for child neglect, that charge was for Jee," Buck replied bluntly.
"Are you certain he didn't hit Maddie?" Phillip asked.
"As sure as I can be. I didn't see much of her in the last few months before she left, she was isolating herself and to be honest Chim was enabling her to do it. There was no indication of physical violence but in my opinion isolating her like that and not encouraging her to seek inpatient treatment for her PPD was a level of abuse in itself and he has always had anger management issues when things didn't go his way in his personal life. I was surprised he lost control enough to assault someone, though. But I think that Maddie would have run as soon as he tried hitting her or controlling her the way Doug did, she's stronger than she used to be," Buck replied.
"You just said that she did run, and nobody knows where she is," Phillip pointed out.
"She has PPD, she left a video message for Chimney stating that she couldn't stay because she was a bad mother and couldn't look after Jee until she got herself sorted out, and asked me to look after him. She wasn't running from Howard Han. Her message clearly indicated that she planned to return to him when she was ready to and she wouldn't have left Jee with him if he'd been violent with her," Buck replied.
"How do you know she left voluntarily?" Phillip asked.
"Chimney shared a video message that she'd left him and she telephoned me on her way out of town, said she needed some time to sort herself out. I had concerns for her wellbeing so after not hearing from her again for a week I reported her missing, Missing persons reported that they had located her but that she did not give them permission to tell me anything other than that she was safe and well and didn't want us to worry about her. That's all I know and since you clearly don't want to talk to me for any other reason I'm going to go. I'll tell Maddie you were asking after her next time I hear from her but don't hold your breath on her calling you because I have no idea when that will be," Buck said hanging up before he was forced to tell them it would be a cold day in hell before he rang them without Maddie asking him to pass on a message that for some reason she wasn't able to tell them herself.
"Fuck!" Buck swore after his parents disconnected and his phone had stopped recording.
"Did you forget to call them? Are you worried about them coming here?" Eddie asked, wrapping him in a hug.
"Hmm, they won't come. I didn't tell them Jee was with me," Buck replied.
"Do you think that they'd try to take her if they knew," Eddie asked. "Would they sue for grandparents rights?"
"Honestly, I couldn't imagine them going to that much effort. I'd have them arrested for kidnapping if they did, they've never babysat her even for an hour or so and they haven't seen or spoken to her in months so they can't claim an existing relationship, they barely asked about her even after I told them that Maddie was missing and Chim was in prison for child neglect and endangerment. Even when I didn't answer their original question about her they didn't ask again," Buck snapped. "I'd demand that any visitation they got was supervised and I'm willing to bring up Daniel and their treatment of me after his death in court to guarantee it is."
"You and Jee have a family here with me and Chris," Eddie said kissing the top of Buck's head as he'd buried his face in Eddie's chest.
Buck looked up at Eddie and very slowly lowered his head and kissed Eddie on the lips.
Eddie brought one hand up to cradle the back of Buck's head and kissed back gently.
"Eddie," Buck breathed questioningly.
Eddie smiled softly. "Hey."
"What are we doing?" Buck asked.
"I'm kissing you because I'm in love with you," Eddie replied quietly. He was slightly nervous about Buck's reaction but he didn't fear rejection. He'd known for a while that they were both headed in this direction but because of the children and the fact they were living together they'd taken their time to get there. Now it finally felt like the perfect time and the transition from friends to romantic partners was easy and comfortable. It didn't even really feel new, it just felt right deep down in their hearts.
"I'm in love with you too," Buck admitted smiling and kissing him again.
-o0o-
Outwardly, even to the most curious observers in the 118, very little seemed to have changed between the two men. They'd always been all up in each other's personal space on the regular, casually hugging and leaning on each other and Eddie wasn't really one for public demonstrations of affection beyond a quick peck on the lips or cheek, so their behaviour in front of the Firefam wasn't any different. They'd already bought a house together and were co-parenting two children which was as much of a permanent commitment as mattered to either of them at this point. They'd been sharing a bed platonically for months now and if their time alone in their bed was now a lot less platonic, well that was between them and their bedsheets. It took those around them quite a long time to notice that anything had changed.
Inwardly, Buck and Eddie were very happy with the changes to their relationship. Even before they'd admitted their feelings to each other they'd both acknowledged to themselves that the other was the love of their lives and they wanted to be together for the rest of their lives. They just fit together and knowing that the other was as committed as they were settled something between them.
Life settled down, Buck and Eddie eventually surprised their team when they filled out the couple's paperwork for the LAFD and Bobby gave them his support to remain working together as long as they kept the PDA and closet shenanigans out of the firehouse. None of them had noticed the change in their relationship since they'd practically been acting like an old married couple for years. Nobody won the bet on when the two of them would finally get together so they decided to spend the prize money on a night out with the entire Firefam to celebrate.
The paramedic originally hired to replace Chimney left and was replaced in turn. The new paramedic fitting in well with the 118 and eventually he and his wife were invited to social events and slowly became part of the firefam. He was an easy-going man, and his wife was a genuine sweetheart. She was a florist and honestly liked just about everyone she met.
Jee progressed from crawling to pulling herself up to stand, and grew from a happy baby to a smiling and cheeky toddler. Her first word was Bu Bu followed fairly soon after by Ed Ed, No and Cwis. Buck was a little sad that Maddie wasn't there to see her first steps or to hear Jee call her Mama or Mom-mom. He'd been heartbroken to read the parenting books and realise that Jee wouldn't begin making permanent memories for another two or three years and probably already had no memories of her mother at all. Eddie reminded him that Jee had all the memories of the life that Maddie would have wanted her to have if she couldn't be there. That she was growing up knowing she was part of a close and loving family with Buck and Eddie as her parents and Chris her big brother She was thriving and meeting all her milestones slightly ahead of time.
Buck still sent Maddie photos via email and deep dive searched the histories of all of his new followers on Instagram, hoping that they would be Maddie. The inbox on her phone had remained full until one day in February when the number was disconnected. It was a real blow to everyone but Buck was honestly a little surprised that she hadn't done that as soon as she moved away and took it as a sign that she'd made up her mind that she wasn't coming back anytime soon, and part of him mourned the loss of his sister while a larger part rejoiced that this was a sign Jee would likely remain with him at least until Chimney got out of prison, if not longer.
—
Jee took her first steps while she was home with Carla and Chris. Buck and Eddie were at work but Chris insisted on facetiming to tell them immediately and Carla coaxed Jee into taking a few more steps so she could video them for the two men.
"Superman, what's up?" Buck asked glancing at Eddie in alarm as he connected the call.
"Jee walked," Chris yelled excitedly.
"What, she took her first steps, and I missed it?" Buck asked.
"I recorded it," Carla called in the background, sending the video through.
"Thanks Carla," Buck called back.
Buck played the video and Eddie and Hen cheered along with him as he saw Jee take three steps towards Chris before falling on her bottom with such a look of shock on her face that they all laughed.
"I can't believe we weren't there for it," Buck lamented.
"At least she was with Carla and not in day care so you have the video," Hen consoled him.
"That would've been her second walk. Carla doesn't follow the kids around with her camera all day just in case they do something amazing," Buck said.
"Yes but it still only just happened because Chris was so excited," Eddie pointed out.
"I'm glad he was there to see it," Buck said.
Eddie smiled, "I am too and we'll see it for ourselves tomorrow. Now she's started walking there'll be no stopping her."
Buck forwarded the video message to Maddie's email, wondering whether she'd even want to watch it. Still if she wanted him to stop sending her things like this all she had to do was either send an email or letter to him and ask or change her email address so he couldn't. The fact that she hadn't discontinued her email along with her phone seemed like a sign she wanted some minimal contact but it could easily have been that she never logged on to check it and had forgotten that Buck could still use it to contact her. A small part of Buck worried that she had disconnected the phone but not the email account because Chimney still had some access to send her messages via email but was not able to make telephone calls.
—
Jee-Yun's first birthday was fast approaching. Buck and Eddie still weren't comfortable with certain people they wanted to attend knowing their address so they accepted gratefully when Bobby and Athena volunteered their home for the party.
Buck made cute little paper invitations and sent Maddie a photograph of one via email.
He was saddened but not surprised when she didn't reply.
Buck and Eddie had been strict in correcting everyone who called either of them Jee's Daddy or Papa, he was Uncle Buck and he didn't dare forget that or he might let his guard down and forget that she could be taken away from him in a moment if one of her parents put in the effort to meet the prerequisites for applying for custody.
So he was Uncle Buck, or in Jee's speech it became Unkabuk and Eddie was Unkdee to the amusement of the firefam.
It surprised some of them that Chris hadn't adopted the name Unkabuk as well, living in the house and he did use it occasionally when talking to Jee but Chris secretly wanted to call Buck, Papa or Pops not uncle, and he knew that he couldn't while they had temporary custody of Jee-Yun to prevent her from copying him.
—
Buck and Bobby had gone all out with the food, with all of Jee's favourites as well as some more adult choices for the older guests, Eddie and Chris had decorated the deck and garden with streamers and balloons and set up some one year old friendly activities that weren't too messy.
Jee had a great time with all the attention and presents and birthday cake and Buck and Eddie both took dozens of photos. They and Chris were making a pair of album of her time with them, one to keep and one to give to Jee when she went back to live with one or both her parents. It was there way of reminding themselves that Jee wouldn't be living with them permanently while also celebrating her presence in their lives at the moment.
The only bittersweet moment came as he overheard Hen lament that Jee didn't seem to be missing her parents.
"Why would she be. If we'd been able to adopt Nia, you wouldn't have wanted her to be sad on her birthday because Evangeline wasn't there. As far as Jee is concerned her parents are here. Buck and Eddie have totally stepped up into that role in spite of the fact they're both resisting letting her call them any version of Daddy or Papa," Karen replied.
Hen frowned.
"Chimney has at least another twelve months in prison and Maddie has been almost completely out of contact for six months now. The transition back to their care is going to be traumatic when it happens no matter how hard Buck tried to keep barriers and remind her of her parents," Athena reminded her friend.
"He could take her to visit Chimney more often. He didn't even take her while Chimney was in LA and she should have gone every week at least, for Jee's sake if not for Chim's," Hen blurted out.
"Buck would probably be willing to make the effort for Jee's sake as long as she was happy to go, but Buck and Eddie can't take her to visit at all. Chimney won't let either of them in to visit even when it means that he doesn't get to see Jee," Athena retorted. "If Jee seeing her father is so important to you, you should offer to take her. I'm not sure if Buck would be willing now that it's a weekend trip again, but you haven't even asked him."
"Has Chimney been asking to see Jee?" Karen asked. She had a bad feeling when she heard that Chimney was refusing to let either of his daughter's guardians bring the baby in to visit him out of a grudge against Buck.
"He hasn't asked me to bring her in. Has Albert or the Lees been taking her?" Hen asked.
"I don't know, Buck hasn't mentioned it," Athena replied. "If you feel strongly about it, you should offer to take her to visit once Chimney returns to LA."
"You really think Buck would let me?" Hen asked sceptically.
"Buck would take her himself if Chimney would let him. He might not want to see Chimney but family is important to him and it pains him that he can't do anything about the fact that Jee can't see her mother," Athena said. "He would be willing to let you as long as you'd agree to remove Jee from the room immediately if Chimney began to lose his temper so he didn't end up frightening Jee like he has most of the times she's been to visit. Buck is understandably reluctant to put Jee through that more often than he has, especially when he can't be there with her to help keep her calm.
"I'll go with you and Jee-Yun," Karen offered firmly.
Hen took that as 'I'm not willing to let you take that baby to see Chimney on your own,' and frowned but nodded her acknowledgment that that might be best.
—
Buck took a couple of cooking lessons from Anne Lee before signing himself up for some Korean cooking workshops so he could make Jee some of the traditional foods Anne was introducing her to. Chris wasn't thrilled with the amount of unfamiliar vegetables present in most of the things Buck made at the course but he did enjoy the spicy Korean barbeque meats. Buck and Chris had also started researching Korean culture trying to learn the things that Chim would have wanted his daughter to know so they could share them with Jee. He bought her picture books recommended by the Korean parents in his cooking workshops to explain the culture and they started celebrating south Korean national holidays. In fact, he was probably more conscientious about making sure Jee knew about her Korean culture than Maddie and Chimney would have been.
Jee moved quickly from walking to running and climbing, and to speaking in sentences to make her wishes and opinions clear. She loved being active and outdoors and Eddie and Buck often lamented that she was a total dirt magnet. If there was a mud puddle anywhere near her, nothing made her happier than to jump in it or sit in it and play in it.
—
Eddie's stint at the academy came to an end and he returned to the 118. He'd enjoyed his time teaching the new recruits but now that his and Christopher's anxiety issues had been resolved through time and therapy, he was glad to be back partnering Buck on rescues.
Once he got over worrying that it would be too stressful for Eddie, Buck was delighted to have him back on the ladder truck with him.
Eddie reassured him that he was 100% ready to be back and wasn't feeling any anxiety or hesitation to take the necessary risks that were part of the job.
Chris was also happy that Buck and Eddie were back working the same shifts, the two men had been worried that it would raise his stress levels again and that he wouldn't like the fact that Eddie wasn't always home at night anymore but apparently the fact that they were both available to spend time as a complete family outweighed that. the person who wasn't happy about the change was Jee, who really didn't like spending nights without her Unkdee, or the fact that she rarely had one-on-one time with either Unkabuk or Unkdee while the other was at work now that they were back on the same shifts.
Still she got used to spending nights with Carla or Pepa and Abuela when she had to and if the woman spoiled her a little more than normal to help her overcome her sadness in missing being with Unkdee at bedtime then it was their secret.
—
Jee's second birthday was a smaller affair than last year, mostly because Buck and Eddie chose to celebrate with a children's party for her friends from her swimming class and day care, and a low-key dinner with the Firefam the following day. They met at the zoo in the children's petting area. Jee loved the zoo nearly as much as Christopher did, and the petting zoo was her favourite part so having all her friends there to spend the whole afternoon was the ideal birthday for her.
Buck and Chris were still taking photos and putting together two separate albums of pictures and anecdotes of her time with them but in spite of their most conscientious efforts they were also slowly falling into complacency about Jee still only being temporarily in their home.
Buck still hadn't heard from Maddie but he reminded himself that it took more than three years for her to get back in contact last time and he tried not to lose faith that she would eventually contact him.
He was less certain about what would happen when she did. While he had difficulty picturing the sister he'd known not wanting her child the truth was that she'd now been completely out of contact for just over three-quarters of Jee's life and while Buck had tried to keep her memory alive through stories and photos, in reality she was a complete stranger to the little girl. Buck didn't even have a recording of her voice that he could play for her since the only recorded conversation he did have was of Maddie being irritated and angry with him and Chimney hadn't shared the video recording that Maddie had made for him and Jee-Yun when she left.
Buck was aware that he'd probably forgiven Maddie a little too quickly for ghosting him for all those years when he was travelling on his own and could have used her support, but he didn't think that he'd ever forgive her for ghosting Jee, just as he hadn't been able to understand how Eddie could forgive Shannon for ghosting Christopher. How could he trust Shannon with Christopher's care and happiness after she'd done that? At this point Buck thought it might take a court order for Buck to even allow Maddie supervised access to her own daughter. He just didn't trust her not to make Jee fall in love with her and start depending on her presence and support then up and leave again at some point in the future when things got too difficult again, and he wanted to protect Jee from the heartbreak.
A/N: Thank you to all those who reviewed, commented positively, followed, bookmarked or favourited or gave Kudos to this story for your support.