(A/N): The conversation continues!

Jerremyah

I could tell that I'd made a big mistake with Leo, but I hadn't really had much of a choice. Could I have not told Lisbet that he was concerned about disappointing her? Sure. Did I think that would've been a smart decision, if I had done that? Honestly, no. I didn't doubt it'd be endlessly useful for her to be aware of such a thing, and if she hadn't slipped up and mentioned it, I most likely wouldn't have gotten in trouble for it, either. But she had. And I had gotten in trouble for it.

He was upset. Very, very upset- although you wouldn't have known it just by looking at him, because he'd gone completely blank. But even after not knowing him for very long, I knew enough to recognise that it was on purpose- and certainly wasn't good news. Lisbet and I had managed to calm him down, at least for the most part, and then we'd moved on. Mostly, anyway.

We had moved on to talking about me- about what Leo had told Lisbet that I may not have been happy about- and I wasn't. To be fair, I'd guess that this point would be almost as useful for Lisbet to know as the fact that Leo didn't want to disappoint her- so really, Lisbet had come out of this quite well off, at least on the information front. I couldn't really fault Leo for telling her, though- no matter how much I wished he hadn't done so.

And then- then he had said- he thought I was good craic? That he liked me, and that he thought I was a good person? It was utterly baffling to me- not the good craic part, I knew that I could be fun- not that I'd been very much fun to be around for the past ten years or so- but the fact that he thought I was a good person.

A good person, even if I didn't always make the best decisions or do the best things, by choice or otherwise. That... God. What sort of scale was he working from, if he thought that I was a good person? Whatever being a 'good person' even meant.

And Lisbet... Lisbet agreed. That made a little more sense- she'd always had a bit of a rose-tinted view of me, for as long as we'd known each other. We were mates, so maybe she was predisposed to that- biologically or otherwise- but even before we were... before we were mates, before we were together, before we were even friends, she was much more willing to believe that I wasn't... well, firstly, that I was telling the truth about being part of the church, and secondly, that once she found out that I was actually a vampire, trying to take down the church- well, the Bishop, anyway- that I hadn't been the one to slaughter all of those people, and I wouldn't murder her or Wilde, either.

Wilde had been a lot harder to convince, but whether that was because he wasn't my soulmate, or because he was a Hunter, or simply the fact that he was a particularly mistrusting person, I don't suppose I would ever really know. But Lisbet... she always saw the best in me, even when she shouldn't- and I worried that maybe this was something she had passed on to Leo, as well.

"On that same subject," Lisbet started, and I felt my heart sink, knowing that I was likely to be forced to endure even more flattery and expressions of admiration, or the like. "There's the other thing that Leo needs to apologise for." He and I both blinked, but where I was merely confused, he was clearly confused and now suddenly anxious.

"I- what?" Her eyebrows furrowed slightly, and then her eyes landed on him, and they shot back up as she rushed to assuage his fears, if not his guilt.

"Oh no, not- you already did! To me, at least. Do you remember?" She asked rather desperately, obviously hinting at something, but when he just stared at her blankly, she sighed. "You're my little meddler- remember?" Understanding lit his face- and then it dropped. Uh oh.

"Ah. Right. That." He swallowed thickly, and turned to me- I noticed that the tips of his fingers were twitching from their position where he had crossed his arms over his chest. "Jerremyah, I..." He took a second, and I wasn't sure whether he was thinking about what to say, or whether he was delaying in the hope that we would eventually lose patience and he wouldn't have to say anything.

"I knew when I said it that it wasn't the best thing to say, but I didn't know how else to- I didn't know just how bad it was. Lisbet told me that... well, that it was a bit of a sore subject, with the two of you." It was? I thought back, but nothing we'd talked about struck me as a sore subject, so I wasn't sure what he was referring to. "The... when I told you to- that you should... change. For her. To be better, for her." Ah. That.

I saw the look in her eye- knew that if it'd been anyone else that had said it, they would be in a world of hurt right now. But he wasn't, because he was her kit... and just like I always knew she would be, she was a good- well, there wasn't a word for it. At least, not specifically for a vampiric guardian of a kit... and I doubted she would take kindly to me calling her a mother- even if it was to Leo, and even if it was only in my head. It also made my chest ache something fierce, just to think it in passing.

"Which- and Leo, please know that this isn't directed at you in any way-" She cupped his face in her hands and wiggled his cheeks lightly, almost absent-mindedly- like she was trying to calm herself down by fidgeting, and was using her kit's- admittedly rather squishable- face in order to do so. "Is straight up fucking bullshite." Leo looked conflicted- like he was wracked with guilt for what he had said, but also like he was absolutely delighted every time she forgot to censor herself, and swore in front of him.

"You-" I cut her off. Not to argue with her- I didn't think there was much point in that right now, and honestly... I had something much more pressing to worry about- comforting Leo.

"He didn't do anything wrong." Leo blinked and then flushed slightly, before he shook his head.

"I did. You can't argue with me, remember?" I shot him a dry look, even if I was secretly pleased that he felt confident enough to stand up to me like that, and it was clear to me that he was struggling to stifle a smile, even if he was still feeling a bit guilty.

"Of course." I agreed rather easily, and he looked almost smug. "But a difference of opinion does not an argument make." He blinked, and Lisbet's face lit up with pride... I tried not to bask too hard in the glow of it. "In my opinion, you did nothing wrong." He frowned.

"And in my opinion, I did." Damn. "Anyway, we're getting off track." True, but still... I didn't want him to feel guilty for something like this. I didn't want him to feel guilty in general, but particularly not about anything to do with me.

"This isn't worth feeling guilty about." I saw the look on both of their faces- the growing indignation, clearly at the notion that I didn't think that I was worth feeling guilty about. I wasn't, but that also wasn't the point I was trying to make. "I was already- you didn't put the thought into my head, I was already thinking that I needed to change... not for Lisbet, but in general. I've never been..." I thought about how she would take this- how both of them might take this- and winced. "The happiest I've ever been was when I was with Lisbet-" I specifically didn't look at her, which was painful in and of itself. "But even then, it wasn't that I was... I wasn't happy with myself."

All was silent, and when I finally looked up almost a minute later, I put my eyes on Leo first- which was a mistake, and not just because he was clearly watching Lisbet rather intently. He looked... hurt- after a second, his gaze landed on me instead, and the pain there made me want to reconsider my stance just to make it go away.

"You're not looking at her?" He asked, and I winced again, rubbing the back of my neck sheepishly- though mostly just to distract myself.

"Trying not to, yeah. Looking at her makes my chest ache at the best of times, but it's not- it's usually because I love her so dearly, and not because I'm completely uprooting a core pillar of our relationship. It's... as I'm sure you're aware by now, I'm not the best at... talking about my feelings." Leo's eyebrows furrowed slightly.

"Do you want me to leave?" Immediately, I shook my head.

"No! No, not at all. You're- you're fine." Seeing the look on his face, I continued. "No, I- I know that when I say 'fine', you- that's not the point. I would prefer that you stay. Honestly, you make this much easier, because she can't fluster me in front of you." I could practically feel her rolling her eyes at me, but at least Leo looked pleased again. Like maybe he was glad to be useful.

"Okay. Do you just- do you want me to sit in the corner, or something?" I hesitated, then shook my head.

"No, I- for one, that's not exactly fair to you, now is it? But for two... do you remember when we were talking about... ruthlessness?" He blinked, and then his eyebrows furrowed- I think he did remember, but he was confused as to why I was trying to remind him of that. "And you said that that might be useful for other people to hear?" He nodded slowly. "Well, I think this might also be useful for others to hear- if not now then maybe later." I tried to give him as significant a look as I was capable, and he looked a little more sure of what I was trying to say. "Something something, benefit from my very limited wisdom."

The corner of his lips quirked up in a way that I knew was most likely unintentional. "Can I offer you a mutual exchange of wisdom?" I blinked- he was offering me...?

"I- uh... okay?" His expression softened and he gave me a very sympathetic look, before he opened his mouth and said,

"Look at Lisbet." I wanted to anyway, and now that I knew Leo wanted me to- I turned my eyes to her.

And it. Was. Heart-wrenching.

(A/N): Jerremyah: 'Just like I always knew she would, she was a good- well, there wasn't a word for it. At least, not specifically for a vampiric guardian of a kit... and I doubted she would take kindly to me calling her a mother- even if it was to Leo, and even if it was only in my head.'

Lisbet: '...why does my chest suddenly ache for seemingly no reason?'

also

Lisbet: *is stressed*

Lisbet: *squishes Leo's faces to distract herself, like he's some kind of fidget toy*

Jerremyah: 'To be fair, it is a RATHER squishable face.'

Leo: 'I don't know if this is distracting Lisbet, but it's certainly distracting me.'

also

Leo: 'Do you want me to leave?'

Jerremyah: 'No!'

Lisbet: 'No!'

The rest of the Ellwood Clan: 'No!'

Leo: '...are you SURE?'

also

Character: 'Do you remember *blank*?'

Other Character: 'My brain is certainly blank, but other than that, you're going to have to be more specific.'