(A/N): We're back in 1967 with Amelia Rochester. There's a subtle piece of foreshadowing in here- okay, maybe it's not THAT subtle, but if you haven't thought about it already, it probably isn't going to ring any alarm bells. I actually asked my sister advice about whether I should outright state what I was alluding to in the end authors note- I had already written it out, but had pretty much already decided to remove it when she agreed with me that the reveal would be better left for much, much later. So, you don't get an explanation just yet.

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of physical abuse (Child and Spousal), as well as allusions to mental and psychological abuse (again, both Child and Spousal). A lot of talk about... uh, the expectations of pureblood society? And like... class separation? Basically, Amelia is chained by the expectations laid upon her- by others, and herself.

October 18th, 1967

Amelia

Ah. Right. Well. How was I supposed to-? How should I-? I thought she knew, but I guess- Leonides hadn't been explicit when we had talked about it, and I certainly hadn't been, but still, I- well, I suppose she was only five years old, she probably hadn't much exposure to that sort of thing. I blinked a bit, and stared at her for a few seconds before I said- as delicately as possible- "Not- not exactly." Her little eyebrows furrowed.

"But you said you were in a relationship with him, and you're not married, or we'd be calling you Mrs Rochester- or whatever his family name is." I winced.

"Montgomery." It was a reflex- one I immediately regretted, since Miasenna wasn't supposed to really know Nolan's first name, much less his last.

"Right, and you're not-" I cut her off, in a bit of a panic.

"No!" She blinked, and I winced again. "No, I'm not- we're not... married." No, I wasn't Amelia Montgomery- no matter how much I knew Nolan wanted me to be. No matter how much I wished I could be." Miasenna, there are... there are other ways to be in a relationship, that are neither courting nor marriage." She blinked again. "Which isn't to say... I want to marry him- I do-" An ironic choice of words. "But we're- I'm me, and he's-" I was at a loss for what to say, and hesitantly, Miasenna said,

"A gardener?" Well... yes.

"We're of different stations. If my family were to find out that we were- that I was- that I had-" She didn't care about my family, so it wasn't important. "Not to mention that if your mother found out- we would both lose our jobs faster than you could say, 'loose grips break hips'- and she would spread it throughout the rest of pureblood society. I would never be able to secure a placement of this caliber ever again... not to mention the personal backlash this would have. Nolan is a little less... well. No one really cares about the gardener, as long as they get the job done." Not always the case, but I wasn't going to make the time to explain that to Miasenna right now.

Her face scrunched up, and she stared at me rather blankly for a second. "Then why are you with him?" I blinked.

"Because I love him?" She continued to stare at me, looking vaguely confused.

"Like I love Leo?" Certainly not!

"Erm... not quite." Her head tilted to the side. "I love him like..." Like a lover. "Like..." There was no way around it. "Like a wife loves her husband. But we're not- we're not." Her little eyebrows furrowed.

"My parents are married." Yes, they were- oh. Oh, I caught her meaning.

"Your parents are..." I winced. "You can never tell anyone I said this-" Her eyes widened, lighting up in a way that I had never seen from her- but was quite similar to the way she had looked when I had told her that we were going to lie, earlier.

"A secret?! I like secrets- I like them very much!" I suppose that shouldn't have surprised me as much as it did- she was, after all, both a Joannis and a Meliflua, not to mention the fact that she had always been the more mischievous of the two siblings, despite her younger age.

"...yes, it's a secret. A very dangerous secret, that you must never tell anyone." A tiny crease appeared between her eyebrows.

"Not even Leo?" I winced, then considered this for a second. Leonides... Leonides probably already knew. He was almost unnaturally bright, and they weren't exactly subtle- no, Miasenna didn't need to worry about hiding this from her brother.

"Leonides is fine. He's- he won't say anything." She nodded firmly.

"No- he's very secretive. He'll be good." He usually was. Difficult sometimes, maybe- but he was never bad.

"Your parents aren't... they don't... love each other." Miasenna blinked, then tilted her head to the side again.

"Okay?" I stared at her for a minute, and she quirked an eyebrow at me, crossing her arms over her chest. "I thought you were supposed to be telling me a secret." ...oh.

"In my defense," I told her quietly. "I thought I was." Her eyebrows furrowed, and she shrugged.

"It's not like they married for love- grandfather says that sort of thing is only for two types of people: fools, and poor fools." I suspected strongly she was referring to Anthophilius Meliflua there, not Daimen Joannis- neither were the most pleasant men to be around, but at least Joannis made an effort to appear likeable, on the surface. Meliflua made no such attempt- in fact, he probably saw such a thing as 'beneath him'.

"Well, I... I suppose that's... to be expected, of people of their stations." And of mine. Not of Nolan's- honestly, I think his family would just be delighted that he had managed to find someone to spend his nights with, without even taking into consideration that he would be making quite the match for himself in the process if we were ever to marry.

"But you do... love him?" I didn't hesitate- this wasn't something I had to think about. I nodded wholeheartedly.

"Yes. Yes, I love him very dearly. I would- if it wasn't for the situation we're in, I would marry him in a heartbeat." And I would. I would tie myself to him in that manner without a second thought- well. Maybe that was because I had already thought about it a thousand times- possibly even a million- to the point of laying awake quite a few nights, pondering it. Every second I didn't spend in his arms, it was at least in the back of my head- there was no one I would rather spend the rest of my life with... and I knew Nolan felt the same way.

"And he... treats you well?" I studied her for a second, a little conflicted as to what she was asking. If it were Leonides, I was fairly sure that I would know- he would be asking about the way Nolan treats me, whether he treats me like Anthophilius treats his wife, or whether he treats me like Sebastien treats Cipicia- the answer was very decidedly 'neither'.

I had seen the way that Anthophilius treated his wife, Caliste- or as we were supposed to call her, Mistress Meliflua. It wasn't... good. It wasn't outright... well... abuse- or at least, not the physical sort- but things were just... off. She didn't seem entirely... in her right mind, and Anthophilius certainly didn't treat her kindly at the best of times. Sebastien and Cipicia were a different story, but they still weren't... they weren't exactly loving. They didn't treat each other kindly either, but at least it was mutual. Much closer to equal, if there was such a thing amongst pureblood couples.

With Miasenna, I wasn't sure if she was asking about this, or if she was just asking if he was nice to me, in general. "He treats me very well. Better than... better than anyone- ever has. He's... Nolan is a sweetheart, honestly. It's one of things that- that drew me to him." That kept me coming back, long after it was advisable.

A short dalliance might be forgiven- if extremely frowned upon- but this? A long term relationship, plus- plus the fact that I was in love with him? No. No, there was no forgiving that. But I didn't want forgiveness, if it came at the cost of my relationship with Nolan- and that would certainly be the price required of me. The opportunity to rebuild my reputation, for the loss of the love of a 'simple gardener'- but he was my gardener, and I had no inclination to rebuild. Build, yes- but with him. Only, with him.

"Leo always says-" She paused, as if considering whether she was really supposed to repeat his words, and I gave her as encouraging a nod as I could manage- though I feared it wasn't all that convincing, because she still looked hesitant. But I wanted to know- what Leonides apparently 'always said', and how she was applying it to my relationship. "He always says... 'as long as you're happy.' He says it about other people too, but mostly it's about me. I don't think he likes making choices, so he lets me do it." I had noticed that, yes.

Leonides wasn't exactly indecisive, per se- if there was a decision to be made, and there was no one around who cared more about the issue to make it for him, he would definitely do it himself, but I think he was- I think he just didn't care that much one way or another about most things, and as such, he usually let other people steer him in whatever direction they felt like pointing him. With people like his sister, this wasn't a bad thing- well, maybe it wasn't the best, since Miasenna had a bit of a mischievous streak, and due to her age wasn't quite able to consider the consequences that came along with most of her choices, but she was- she wanted what was best for her brother, even if she didn't always execute that to a level that might actually do him any good.

With people like his mother, though... there was nothing I could do about it. She was his mother, of course she would be guiding him, that was practically her job- but the type of guidance that Cipicia Joannis could offer probably wasn't ideal for a young child, let alone one as... malleable, as Leonides was. He needed some better guidance, a kinder hand- maybe I could be that for him... or at least, allow him and Nolan to be in contact more often, so that he could do it for the both of us. He was, after all, so much better at that kind of thing than I was.

"That's... very nice of him." Because it was- but also, I wanted to nurture that sort of thing in her, the way it already seemed to exist naturally in Leonides. Miasenna nodded, frowning slightly.

"Yes. Mother sometimes says that Leo is too nice, but I don't really understand that." No, I wouldn't suppose she would understand something like that- but she was looking at me like she wanted an answer, so I tried to explain it to the best of my ability.

"Sometimes... sometimes, people see kindness as a weakness." She nodded, and I was forced to remember what she had said to her mother about her opinion that showing pain was a weakness. "They think that you can't be kind, if you want to get anything done- but I disagree." Of course I did- but also, being with Nolan had changed me, much like being with me had changed him. For one, he didn't constantly walk around with holes in his socks, anymore.

Miasenna straightened up, her back stiff and her hands clasped behind her it- like a proper little pureblood girl. Then, her chin lifted, and jutted out rather defiantly- very much not like a proper little pureblood girl, which I think was entirely the point. "Mother says that women don't have the luxury of being kind, because a man will take whatever chance they can get to walk all over them." Well... she wasn't wrong. "She says that having claws will get you further than honeyed words ever will- I've never really understood that, though, because she always scolds me for being too willful. Too aggressive." She was right, it didn't make sense- not least because Cipicia herself used 'honeyed words' often... even if they were almost always barbed, as well.

"That's... not something you should be worrying about, at your age." She narrowed her eyes at me slightly- she clearly didn't appreciate me bringing up her age.

"When should I start worrying about it? When it's too late?" I wasn't sure how to answer that, so I didn't- and an hour passed.

An hour of coaching her through the process of completing her worksheets, until we heard movement in the hallway on the other side of the door. It was rather distinctive, the sound of crutches against hardwood- and I didn't react fast enough to stop Miasenna from pulling the door open, and throwing herself into the hall.

My eyes landed on Leonides, and my first thought was that he looked absolutely pitiful. He was upright, and he didn't look to be in any pain at the moment, but he looked exhausted- much more than a boy of his age ever should... and small, in a way that he rarely ever seemed. Further down the hall, even with the door closed, I could hear the clang of metal on metal- clearly Sebastien and Florimond were still fencing rather vigorously- hopefully Leonides hadn't had to deal with either of them, because of that distraction. Behind Leonides was Cipicia, and the look on her face sent shivers down my spine. This wasn't good news- for anyone. Least of all for Miasenna, who was currently in the middle of racing toward her brother.

"Leo!" His face lit up- and then, it dropped just as suddenly. It was only when, a few seconds later, Cipicia snapped at Miasenna, that I realised that the reason behind this change was that her grip had tightened on his shoulder.

Miasenna still tried her hardest to get to him, despite the fact that Cipicia was glaring at her, and then Leonides- Leonides, who never, ever turned his little sister away, or denied her anything- told her to go back to her lessons. Back to her room. To safety. Because that was the reason- even if no one said it, I think we all knew that if Miasenna didn't leave Cipicia's vicinity as soon as possible, she would become a target. The same way that Leonides was already a target- was letting himself stay a target, in order to protect her.

In respect of that choice I guided Miasenna back into her bedroom, and started to close the door- only to be stopped by Cipicia's voice. "Oh, Ms Rochester?" Her tone was awful- absolutely sickening. It made my stomach roil as it slid over my skin like an oil slick, and I pulled the door back open only as much as I had to in order to maintain a professional level of decorum, by allowing her a polite amount of eye contact. "I've asked the servants to return to their quarters-" This set off alarm bells in my head for many reasons, least of all because the way that she said it made it clear that she wasn't dismissing me. "I suggest that you cast a muffling charm on Miasenna's room, as you continue her lessons. It might... help her focus."

...Merlin. Merlin. Merlin, Merlin, Merlin. This- this really wasn't- this was not good. I met Leonides eyes, and I saw the terror I felt reflected there. He looked sick to his stomach, and I wasn't fairing any better- but then he continued to stare me down, and gave me a firm nod- as if he was trying to reassure me. It wasn't working even a little, but in the end, there wasn't much I could do or say- and there was nothing that wouldn't risk putting any of us- Leonides, Miasenna and I, anyway- at more risk. So, I gave him a nod in return- one full of apology, and a promise to do my best to help him later, when I actually had the chance to do so- and reluctantly, I shut the door between us.

My face was mere inches from it, and for a few seconds, I just stared at that same spot- the place where his face had been, on the other side of the door- and then, I forced myself to snap out of it. If Cipicia felt the need to warn me to cast a muffling charm, then she wasn't planning on being quiet- and I had no illusions that I didn't want Miasenna to hear what their mother had in store for Leonides. I didn't want to hear it either, but at least that would be a fitting punishment- but not Miasenna. Not Miasenna.

I cast the muffling charm, and when I turned around, she was staring at me with big, teary eyes- a mix of her mother's icy blue, and her father's emerald green. I didn't know what to do- how to comfort her- what was appropriate. In the end, I asked myself what Nolan would do... from there, there was only one option- and when I bundled her in my arms, pulling her to my chest, she clutched the fabric of my dress like a lifeline.

"He'll be okay." I whispered. "He'll be okay." But over time it became less of a reassurance, and more of a prayer. "We'll make it through this."

Maybe not today, but someday.

(A/N): Amelia: 'I would marry Nolan in a heartbeat, holey socks and all- if only it didn't mean losing everything I have ever known in order to be able to do so.'

also

Amelia: 'I don't know how to comfort or reassure kids- I'm a Governess, not a nanny.'

Amelia: *still doing her best nonetheless to comfort Leonides with only a nod, because she knows it's the only reprieve he's going to get for a while*

Amelia: *not knowing how to reassure Mia and asking herself what Nolan would do- and then hugging Mia even if she feels it isn't entirely appropriate, because she knows that Mia needs to be comforted, more than SHE needs to be comfortable*

So I was going to use the classic world war II propaganda phrase 'Loose Lips Sink Ships', but decided to make a wizard spinoff of it with 'Loose Grips Break Hips'. Not the most eloquent, but I wanted it to be something along the lines of 'a loose grip on your wand will end with people getting hurt'- aka, 'if you aren't careful, people will suffer', which the uptight purebloods basically interpret as 'if you don't keep a lid on your emotions, you will bring shame on your family'.