Chapter 38
Why does the alarm clock always have to throw you out of bed so rudely in the morning? I blinked tiredly at Seiya, who still held me tightly in his arms. Slowly, I stretched upwards and gave him a kiss on the lips. "Good morning," I laughed. He gave me a loving smile. "Good morning, my sweetheart." I had absolutely no motivation to leave the warm bed today. But both Sato and Motoki would be waiting for me to arrive.
"Do you have to get up too?" I asked him as I slowly dragged myself out of bed.
"No, I just have to pick Taiki up from the airport at 1 p.m. We don't have any appointments today."
Great, so he could continue lying there. I was brushing my teeth when he suddenly hugged me from behind and whispered, "By the way, should we bring your things back here later?"
He was really serious about picking up where we left off.
"I can bring some things with me on the way back. Oh, I almost forgot... We received an invitation to the Winter Gala from work. Would you like to accompany me?"
At first, there was a certain surprise on his face, but it quickly turned into a broad grin. "Of course."
I gave Seiya another kiss and made my way to work. There wasn't much to do today. So, I could calmly focus on selecting the outfits for the Winter Gala and tackle my paperwork pile.
I wanted to call Minako tonight. It had been too long since we last saw each other, but first, I would stop by Motoki's and then see Mamoru. When Hotaru and I finished work, she turned her head towards the lantern again, which made me smile. "He's not coming today."
"Uh... Who's supposed to come?" she asked, caught off guard, and we both started laughing. I had really grown fond of Hotaru. It was a shame that her internship would end at the end of the year.
I stopped at the door of the Crown and tried to peer through the window to see if Mamoru was there. Unfortunately, I didn't have a good view. Speculating or, as Motoki would say, wasting time wouldn't do any good.
A warm breeze greeted me as I entered. Motoki was wiping the counter with a cloth, but there was no one in front of him. Motoki's expression was tense, and he didn't even realize I was standing in front of him.
"Toki? Are you alone?"
He looked up and let out an annoyed snort.
"He's in the kitchen. Do you want to go to him right away, or do you need something to eat first?"
I tossed my bag and coat onto the counter and shook my head. Into the fray, I wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible.
I swung the door open with determination. Mamoru was sitting at a table in the corner, his head supported by his hands, his gaze lowered. He looked even worse than yesterday or the day before. His face appeared hollow and pale due to lack of sleep.
I pulled a chair opposite him and sat on it straddling. I crossed my arms on the backrest and then waited... Eventually, I started drumming my fingers on the table as he continued to ignore me.
"That's annoying," he grumbled.
"I know."
"Then stop it."
"Not until you look at me."
If looks could kill, I would have probably dropped dead on the spot.
"What do you want, Usako?"
Usako... he hadn't called me that in ages. That was my nickname when he was really mad at me. Even though it was probably a stupid idea, it was my only ray of hope. I had to provoke him even more. Hopefully, it would eventually break the ice, just like the last time. Back then, he was still considering becoming a surgeon, but within a few days, several of his patients died. He was in a similar low point like today and was considering quitting his job. So, let's get started.
"I want to get your butt moving. Motoki isn't your babysitter, so get up!"
"I don't need a babysitter, I'm an adult," he grumbled irritably.
"Then start behaving like one! Yes, a lot of shit is happening in your life right now, but you won't get anywhere like this! Put on your jacket, we're going for a walk."
"Thanks, but no thanks," he replied with an annoyed voice.
Phew, he was in a mood. This could get interesting.
"I don't care. You're putting on your jacket now and coming with me." I jumped up and grabbed his jacket. I threw it directly over his head. Direct hit.
"You're annoying, Usako. Don't you have any plans with the singer? Red carpet, giving interviews, or signing autographs... You can surely annoy someone else. How about Minako or Motoki?"
I had to try to stay calm, but he knew exactly how to easily push my buttons. I hated that about him. That arrogant, superficial attitude he had since our school days. He was a few years older than me and always felt superior. Suddenly, I felt like we were back in those times, two teenagers facing each other and yelling to express our opinions. He was already 18 back then, and I was just a delicate 14... But times had changed. I wouldn't back down anymore. Especially not now!
"No, I don't have any plans, and I won't have any. That's a special time slot reserved just for you. So get moving already." I gave him a cheeky, provocative grin.
Suddenly, he stood up abruptly and was right in front of me, his nose just a few centimeters away from mine. "I said I don't feel like going for a walk! When will you understand that? Should I dance it out for you to get it?! Leave me alone, Usako!"
"No one asked about your feelings here, Baka. I could think of better things too! We're going for a walk now, together."
"Then go do something better far, far away from here!"
"Absolutely not! Someone has to kick your butt."
At least I had him standing and communicating with me, even if it was only through shouting. But at least complete sentences were coming out of his mouth, which was already much more than Motoki had achieved.
We locked eyes for a moment. There was a tense atmosphere. His face was still so close that I could feel his breath and easily detect his scent. But then something unexpected happened. Mamoru leaned forward suddenly and kissed me passionately. His lips were soft and warm, and for a brief moment, I kissed him back. Those lips that I had tasted so many times before...
When I realized what I was doing, I broke off the kiss and lightly pressed my hand against his chest to create some distance between us. My heart was racing, and I tried to calm my breathing. What had just happened? This couldn't be true!
"Mamo... I... I'm with Seiya now..." I stammered, still completely overwhelmed.
Mamoru pursed his lips as Seiya's name came up. Heavy silence fell between us once again. Motoki opened the door a crack and peeked over to us cautiously.
"It suddenly got so quiet. Everything okay with you guys?"
I felt caught red-handed, and my face flushed with embarrassment.
"Yeah, we're going for a walk now," Mamoru muttered to him and put on his jacket. Wait, we were? I gasped for air as soon as I heard the door close.
"How, we're going for a walk?! Weren't you just telling me to disappear?!"
"I changed my mind. You wouldn't leave me alone anyway, so..."
Oh man, what was I doing here again? This was almost like self-torture. I wanted to create some distance between him and me, but instead, we entered the Crown. I grabbed my coat and bag. Then I received a wink from Motoki as we rushed towards the door. Silently and with some distance between us, we walked side by side. Initially, Mamoru took such big steps that I could barely keep up, but he slowed down his pace when he heard me starting to gasp for air. He was probably afraid he'd have to call an ambulance.
In Juban Park, we sat down at a bench and still remained silent. As we sat across from the fountain, I unexpectedly saw Haruka passing by in my peripheral vision. Diamond was right, if I hadn't seen her that day in front of my house, I probably would have never truly noticed her. But it reassured me to know that she was still close by.
"Her farewell party is in two days," he said after some time, his head lowered.
I crouched down, took his hands in mine, and tried to meet his gaze.
"Mamo, you don't have to go through this alone. Motoki and I can accompany you."
Mamoru looked at me for a moment. His eyes were filled with pain and despair. It seemed like my words touched him, even if he didn't want to admit it.
"Would you really do that?" he asked softly, his voice filled with uncertainty.
I nodded determinedly. "Yes, Mamoru. You're not alone in this difficult time. We're here for you."
"It's so hard to deal with, to comprehend it all. She's gone, and I just can't believe it yet. We lost touch after school back then... But in America... she was always there, and I... I couldn't help her... It was never a great love, but she... she was important to me... and now she's gone."
I rummaged in the pocket of my coat and pulled out a tissue. I had managed to crack the nut. Once he let it all out, he would feel better. It was strange that he was talking to me about her, about their time together in America... the time that cost us our relationship. I swallowed and stepped out of my comfort zone, then I sat down beside him.
I gently squeezed his hands and tried to comfort him. "It's okay to grieve. The loss of a loved one is painful, and it takes time to come to terms with it. Whether it was a short or long relationship, she was important to you, and that's what matters."
A sad smile flickered across his face as he looked at me. "Thank you, Bunny. It means a lot to me that you're here for me."
I rested my head against his shoulder. His body still felt so familiar to me. We sat side by side, and this time, I was the one listening. He needed to get everything off his chest, and I listened to him. It wasn't until I started feeling cold that we decided to head back home. In a friendly manner, I linked my arm with his, and he accompanied me to my old, small apartment. Since I still had some things to pick up, it worked out well. With the key in my hand, I stopped and turned to him.
"Mamo? What are you going to do now?"
His eyes were still slightly swollen and red from crying, but he forced a small smile.
"I'm going to go home and try to sleep... Toki, I think, will be glad to sleep at Makoto's place again." He turned to leave, but on the staircase landing, he turned to me once more. "Bunny, thank you. I needed that."