For a few moments, no one said anything. There was silence as Remilia gazed at the three of us smugly.
"Well, if you'll excuse me for saying so, that seems a little presumptuous, ma'am. Could you explain why you think the culprit would want to keep you from leaving the house?"
Predictably, it was Renko who was the first to recover. Being who she was, I imagine she must have a higher than normal tolerance for completely nonsensical and non-sequitur ideas.
"Are you really so ignorant that I have to spell even that much out for you? Perhaps I should twist your fate to make you a better detective. I am Remilia Scarlet, descendant of the great Lord Dracula, and the eternal red moon who controls destiny itself."
"Ah, so you think that the culprit's goal has nothing to do with the weather itself, but is merely manipulating the skies to keep you trapped here. After all, if you were to take action yourself, surely one or even two Incidents could be resolved in the blink of an eye."
"Now you're catching on, human. I suppose on a mortal scale that puts you above Sakuya. You may continue to praise me more."
To me, Renko's characterization of events was so over the top I couldn't see it as anything but mockery, but Remilia seemed pleased by it all the same. Sanae leaned over in her chair towards me. "Is this little vampire really that strong?"
"Well, she's certainly powerful, but Renko and I can't fight, so I can't really say. She beat Marisa once."
"Hmm, having the strongest character be the harmless-looking loli-type is a bit of a cliché, but I suppose that makes sense."
"I don't think that's how it works."
"You both know that I can hear you whispering, right?" Remilia asked, smiling languidly at me.
"Ah sorry," I said, flustered. "Although, if someone were trying to keep you cooped up in here, might their goal not be keeping you from interfering, but instead preventing you from actively doing something? Were you or miss Patchouli doing anything that someone might have wanted to stop?"
"Well, I can't know what they might have been thinking, but I doubt it. Patchouli normally stays cooped up in the library like a mold day and night, and I'm content to stay here at the mansion. Pinning me down here is pointless. I'm not planning on trying to conquer Gensokyo anytime soon, but if someone else is, they'll have to come through me eventually, and I'd just be sitting here waiting for them with a glass of wine in my hand."
Remilia posed, crossing her legs and turning to regard us in profile, holding her teacup delicately and narrowing her eyes with a practiced look of disinterest. The effect of her charisma was somewhat diminished by the fact that she was sitting on a wooden booster seat so that she could be level with us at the table. Despite claiming to be over five hundred years old, it was clear her body had never aged past that of a child's. I wondered if her mind was the same. She seemed quite capable of possessing the regal bearing of refined noble when it suited her, but she could rarely keep it up for more than five minutes at a time.
"So you think the culprit is trying to conquer Gensokyo then?" Renko asked, eyes alight. "If so, then of course they'll be forced to come here sooner or later and bow down before your majesty. If their aim is something else though, then they might not even stop by. They might be manipulating the weather simply to keep you out of their hair."
Remilia's shoulders and wings sagged as her jaw dropped in dismay. The effect of her charisma was instantly broken, right on schedule.
"That's not fair! They can't just annoy me and then ignore me. Where's the fun in that? Who would dare to treat the scarlet devil with such impudence? I ought to go and teach whoever's behind this a lesson they'll never forget." She turned and looked out the archway that lead to the covered balcony. "Every time I go outside it looks like it's about to rain though." She whined.
"Well then, it seems like the perpetrator's plan is working as intended." Renko said, nodding to herself.
"That's mean." Remilia muttered quietly, looking down and running one claw-like finger along the edge of the tablecloth.
"Don't worry!" Sanae suddenly declared, leaping back up from the table. She had produced a short wooden wand topped with a rectangle of ceremonial paper from somewhere unseen. Had she been keeping it in the folds of her sleeve for just such an occasion? "As a wind priestess of the Moriya Shrine, no raincloud can stand before me! Let's take you outside, and I'll just blow away any storm that comes up with the miracle of divine winds!"
With the power we had seen Sanae wield, such an act was probably possible. However...
"Um, Sanae..."
"What is it, Merry?"
"Miss Remilia is a vampire. If you blow away all the rainclouds, then the sunlight would still turn her to ash. She can only go out on days when it's overcast or at night."
"Oh. Being a vampire must be really inconvenient."
"I don't need pity from a human."
"I'm a living god. I guess that puts me above vampires on the power scale."
"What misguided arrogance! How could any mortal creature, god or otherwise compare to a timeless existence like mine?" Remilia said, climbing out of her seat again. She stared hungrily across the table at Sanae.
"Well then, if you can't go outside, do you really think you could match me in close quarters? A living miracle of existence against a fragile creature of the night who hides from the sun?"
"Hmm, it seems that before I seek out the culprit responsible for this inexcusable rudeness there's an impudent human before me who is also in need of punishment. But enough talk. Have at you!"
Sanae smiled fiercely back at Remilia as she brandished her wand. A pentacle of light suddenly twinkled into existence beneath her feet. In response, Remilia drew her right arm back and a crimson spear of blazing light roared into existence in her palm, flickering with blood-colored flames.
Renko and I climbed to our feet as well, our chairs clattering backwards.
"Oh! Sanae versus Remilia. That's an interesting matchup, especially up close."
"That's not the point, Renko! We have to get to cover!"
I grabbed Renko by the arm and turned, pressing her shoulder down and drawing her under the solid oaken frame of the table with me. She lacked any sense of urgency, and as soon as we were under, she crawled to a corner and peeked out from beneath the tablecloth at the spot above us where the two had risen half-way to the ceiling, circling eachother in the air.
A moment passed, and then the room was suddenly illuminated by the colorful glare of an instant eruption of danmaku.
-.-.-.-.-
How did it end, you ask? Well, by the time the sound of bullets crashing into the ground around us subsided enough for me to look out from beneath the table, Sanae had been backed up against a corner of the room, trapped between two walls and the ceiling.
"It can't end like this for a hero of divine light. Renko, Merry, lend me your strength!"
"I'm not really sure what kind of strength I could lend you." Renko called up to her, standing up as she emerged from beneath the table.
Sanae's eyes flicked over to me as I crawled out as well. "Sorry," I said with a shrug. "I've got nothing."
"Come on, that's not right!" she said, turning toward us. "The combined power of friendship always overcomes the demon king! Come out here and try something. If you die, we'll just find the dragon balls and revive you or get a phoenix down out of a chest. There's bound to be one around here."
"Too late, human!"
Sanae turned back toward Remilia just in time to catch a volley of gleaming scarlet projectiles to the face. Her body collided with the wall before tumbling down onto the carpet in a heap. With Remilia posing smugly in the air above her, I almost expected to see word "KO" flash across my vision in huge letters.
Renko and I ran over to where Sanae had landed, but she was already climbing back up to her feet and brushing off her skirt. Having cushioned her impact with the ground with a last-second burst of wind, she seemed no worse for the wear except for a single pinkish burn on her collarbone about the size of my fist. "Ugh, disappointing. You really are way stronger than you look!" Sanae called up to the vampire, still brimming with excitement.
"Well, for a human, you're no slouch yourself. With a bit of training you might rival Reimu. What would you say to becoming a part of our little scarlet family?"
"You want me to join your family? Does that mean you want to drink my blood? Or wait, is this whole mansion just your vampiric harem? What about that maid? Have I stumbled into a yuri scene now? Lady Yasaka, protect my innocence!"
"Okay, that's enough of that, you two!" I called over at them. "I'm pretty sure one of you is too young to be discussing such things, I'm just not sure which."
"Oh come on, Merry, you could let 'em go a little longer." Renko said with a grin.
"Sanae might have just hit her head. What's your excuse for being like this, Renko?"
She merely winked at me, infuriatingly.
"Well, thank you for the match. It was a good way to fight off boredom. I haven't been able to go outside lately and Patchy left before I even woke up this morning." Remilia said, settling back into position on the rosewood throne which perched on its raised dais.
Sakuya suddenly appeared beside her mistress. Looking behind me I found that the table had already been restored to its original state. The tablecloth, place settings and dishes, which had all been scattered in the commotion of the danmaku barrage, were now nowhere to be seen. Sakuya must have taken the time to repair or replace and clean away the damaged articles during a period of stopped time, but I felt bad that we must have created more work for her.
"Lady Patchouli returned just moments ago, milady," she said, inclining her head respectfully.
"Oh, is that so?"
"She's in the library, if you'd like me to go fetch her."
"Crawled back in her hole already, without even stopping to say hello to me? She must be busy. Well if she'd rather spend her time with her little devil than this scarlet one, let her be. I'm a bit tired after that rampage, so I think I'll take a nap until nightfall. Then, perhaps we can see if I can't outwit the weather. Sakuya, prepare a bed."
"As you wish, milady." Sakuya bowed respectfully, then rose and vanished.
Remilia turned back to us and yawned. "Well, that was fun, humans, but you may take your leave now. You make a decent stand-in for Reimu, even if you're the wrong color."
"My name is Sanae Kochiya! I'll make you remember it next time!"
"I look forward to it. If you do well, I'll permit you to play with Flan."
"Flan?" Sanae asked, confused. It seems that Sanae hadn't been introduced to the younger Scarlet sister yet. I shuddered to think what might happen when she was.
"Still, it's troubling to think I might not be able to go out, and it would be a pain to have to fight the culprit in the rain." Remilia looked once more toward the doorway to the balcony. "Ah, I have an idea. You there, Renko!" She said, whirling back towards us with a broad smile.
"Me? Yes, ma'am what is it?"
"I want to hire you. Find the mastermind behind this Incident and bring them to me. Do you understand?"
Renko was frozen in shock for a moment, then returned Remilia's smile.
"Yes, ma'am!"