Chapter 43

I felt trapped in a dark nightmare as Mamoru led me to the basement. A deep emptiness permeated my being. I followed him, desperately hoping that Seiya would show up any moment and convince me with a cheeky remark that this was all just a terrible joke.

But with each passing second as we followed the signs to the autopsy department, my hope dwindled further. I felt powerless and defeated. Mamoru's hand rested heavily on my shoulder as he held a small black chip in his other hand, which he had already used to open the door to the operating room.

"Are you really sure about this?" he asked with concern.

No, of course, I wasn't sure. If this were truly real, it would knock the ground from under my feet. But I had to see it with my own eyes to truly grasp it. A nervous rumbling intensified in my stomach as I nodded to Mamoru, and he unlocked the door.

He gestured for me to wait for a moment and disappeared behind a clinically white door. When he returned, an elderly man accompanied him.

"I'm sincerely sorry for your loss," he said softly to me.

Loss. That one word etched itself indelibly in my memory. Suddenly, my legs felt like heavy anchors, keeping me firmly rooted to the ground. The older gentleman before us opened a sliding door to the left. After a second attempt, I finally managed to move my legs towards him. Mamoru stood behind me, his hand comforting on my back.

The man before me switched on the light, revealing a metal table in the middle of the room. Under a blue cloth, the contours of a body were unmistakable. The gray-haired man read from a note: "Seiya Kou, Age 31, passed away at 0:49 am on December 09."

I practically slumped forward, and Mamoru barely managed to hold me up. His words reached my ears muffled: "Bunny, you don't have to put yourself through this. We can go back."

I forced myself to stand on my own feet. "No..." I managed to say with a trembling voice. This short word felt like a burning fire in my throat. With a gentle push, I moved Mamoru back a bit. I had to take the last steps alone.

Finally standing before the table, the elderly man pulled back the cloth, revealing Seiya's face. "I'll leave you alone now. Take all the time you need," he said softly. I didn't look up at him; my eyes were still fixed on Seiya. He looked so peaceful, as if he were gently sleeping. Slowly, I lifted my trembling hand and gently caressed his cheek, but there was no reaction. His skin felt cooler than usual but still warm. Tears welled up in my eyes again, blurring my vision.

I clutched his shoulders and shook him gently. "Seiya, wake up! Come on, wake up! You can't leave me alone!"

My words echoed desperately and filled with pain throughout the room, but Seiya remained motionless. A deep pain coursed through my body as the truth became clearer. He would never wake up again, never be there to make me laugh or share my worries.

A heart-wrenching scream escaped my throat as grief washed over me with full force. My voice trembled with despair, and my heart felt like it was breaking. "Seiya..." My voice broke into a soft whimper.

I lowered my head to his lifeless chest, where once his familiar heartbeat pulsed but was now silenced. My hand searched for his, and even his fingers felt cooler than usual. I didn't know how long I stayed there above him; my back was already aching, but that didn't matter. I couldn't let him go yet, couldn't leave him here alone. I gently traced the contours of his face with my finger, outlining his lips, and listened again to the now silent sound of his heartbeat.

Suddenly, I felt two hands firmly gripping my shoulders, pulling me away from Seiya's lifeless body. I tried to hold on to him, but I was already enveloped in a warm embrace. I had completely forgotten about Mamoru.

"Bunny, let's go back up. We've been down here for over an hour," he whispered gently.

Everything within me screamed in agony. This suffering was unbearable. As Mamoru covered Seiya's eyes with the cloth again, it was over. I had to get out of here. Leave this place of horror. I just wanted to be alone with my pain.

I ran, through the eerie corridors of the basement, up the stairs to the ground floor, and further and further. Through the long hallways of the hospital until I finally reached the emergency room. In the corner of my eye, I saw Taiki and Yaten standing at the information desk, but I couldn't look them in the eyes. I accelerated my steps again.

"Hey, Usagi, wait!" Yaten called out as he saw me rushing past, but I had no intention of stopping.

I just needed to get away from here. If Saphir still had it out for me, then let him come for me. At least then I'd be back with Seiya. I just ran, without paying attention to the path. The cool, wet sleet had intensified, and my dress clung wet and heavy to my skin. Somewhere at the roadside, I had taken off my shoes to run better.

Only when small pebbles dug into the soles of my feet did I realize where I had ended up. I was back in Juban Park, right at the spot where Seiya and I had stood just a few hours ago. Despite the rain, you could still see the staining on the ground in the light of the lantern – Seiya's blood, saturating the ground. I collapsed at this point, and a pleading scream escaped my throat. I kept calling his name over and over, as loud as I could, until my throat couldn't handle it anymore. Cool drops kept falling on my face, and I huddled on the ground. I didn't know where to go. Here, I felt like I could still be close to him. I still had his radiant face before my eyes, his cheeky grin... and his last words echoed incessantly in my head: "I love you, my darling."

The thick raindrops had replaced the sleet, now relentlessly pelting my body. But I couldn't move. I felt powerless and at the end of my strength. If Saphir didn't want to take me, then let the cold and rain do it. The world around me blurred in an impenetrable veil of sorrow and despair. I don't know how long I lay there. In between, I succumbed to a merciful unconsciousness, but then I suddenly felt a change. The pounding on my back stopped, but the rain was still falling. I could hear the gentle splashing of the drops. Someone was speaking, but it sounded distant. Then I felt two strong arms gently lifting me up. I was unable to open my eyes, but the scent that met me was familiar. Then, once again, the comforting darkness enveloped me.

When I came to again, it was warm. My head was resting against a chest, and a steady heartbeat sounded in my ear. For a tiny moment, I believed it was Seiya holding me, but then reality hit me like a merciless punch in my gut. Seiya would never hold me again in his arms. I would never lean against his chest and listen to his heartbeat. Where was I? Just moments ago, I was lying in the park.

My fingers searched frantically over the body beneath me. He was naked, or at least that's what I could feel, and so was I! I jerked up abruptly.

Diamond opened one of his eyes sleepily and looked at me.

"What's going on? Why am I with you? Why am I naked? And what about Seiya?" All the questions poured out of me, as if I would be crushed by their weight.

Diamond sighed and sat up a bit. "I had to warm you up, and the best way to do that is through body heat. You were completely hypothermic yesterday when I finally found you," he grumbled.

My heart was pounding wildly in my chest, and I could hardly breathe. The answer to my last question was already in the air, but I needed to hear it again. I needed to have certainty, even if it would plunge me into deepest grief once more.

"Seiya..." I whispered softly.

Diamond pushed back a strand of hair and looked at me with a serious expression. "Saphir encountered him... but Haruka finally caught Saphir. He can't hurt you anymore, never again."

What do you mean he can't hurt me anymore? He didn't hurt me! He hurt Seiya, he murdered him! He ripped Seiya right out of my life!

In an impulsive act, I jumped up and rushed to the wardrobe. The left side was still filled with my things. Diamond followed me only seconds later and turned me around quickly. I held his probing gaze, but then an overwhelming anger engulfed me. With both fists, I pounded wildly on his chest and let my fury out unrestricted. "It's your fault! You're to blame for everything! You're the reason he's not here anymore! If I had never met you, Seiya would still be alive!" I shouted at him, my voice filled with pain and bitterness.

He let me go on for a while, letting me express my desperation in powerful blows. Then he took hold of my trembling hands and pulled me into his strong arms. At first, I resisted, but ultimately, I allowed it. He gave me little room to breathe, yet paradoxically, this suffocating embrace brought me some calmness. I knew I had been unfair with my accusations against Diamond, but I couldn't control my feelings.

"Have you calmed down now?" he asked softly, feeling my anger gradually subside. I nodded barely noticeably, and he loosened his hold on me. "Now, go and take a shower. In the meantime, breakfast will be prepared," he said firmly.

"I'm not hungry," I replied with a strained voice. The mere thought of food triggered sudden nausea in me, as if my stomach was sealed off from sorrow and grief.

"Usagi, no further discussion. Go and shower now, and then eat something. Otherwise, you'll be back on the floor in no time. I can't have that now," Diamond said, his words determined.

I knew it was futile to fight against it. I nodded, indicating that I understood. I didn't have the strength to argue with him. I surrendered to my gloomy fate and let him guide me. Slowly, I went into the bathroom, my head filled with jumbled thoughts, and my heart heavy with pain. The warm water of the shower enveloped my body, but it couldn't heal my inner wounds.

When I stepped out of the shower, there was clothing laid out for me that Diamond had prepared. To my surprise, it consisted of plain, long black trousers and a matching black sweater. It was not skimpy or provocative clothing, but traditional mourning attire in deep black.

With heavy steps, I went to the living room, where Diamond was already sitting at the generously set table. A latte macchiato stood at my place, but my gaze remained fixed on the table. Seiya would never eat again, and the mere thought of solid food made the nausea rise in my stomach again.

My tears still hadn't dried, and I expected Diamond to leave the room in a hurry again. But I was wrong. He moved closer to me and handed me a tissue.

"Usagi, you have to eat something. Your body needs energy," he said.

I wiped my eyes dry and reluctantly placed a piece of toast on my plate. We didn't speak another word during breakfast. Occasionally, I felt his guilty glances, but the silence persisted. After forcing myself to choke down the toast, I slowly got up from my seat.

"I'm going home," I said firmly, hoping he would accept it.

"Massaru will drive you. He's waiting downstairs."

A shiver ran through me. Would everything have been different yesterday if he had driven us? Or if we had taken a taxi? Would Seiya still be alive if I hadn't insisted on walking? My legs were already giving in again, and I just managed to hold onto the chair. Diamond was already at my side, but I didn't want him here.

"I'm fine, thank you. I'll find my way downstairs."