Chapter 30, everybody! And now, the results of Obake's nervous breakdown….

I love how a person being understanding can be uncomfortable but everyone acknowledges that the opposite (or even indifference) is worse—kinda makes you wonder just what goes on in that tangle of emotion. In other news, it doesn't take much effort to write better than corporate checklist Hollywood and also yes that's a direct take that at Disney.

So I've read up on panic attacks and you shouldn't drink anything caffeinated after one but apparently lavender or chamomile tea works fine for some reason. The brothers are referencing the Penguins of Madagascar movie—you know the one with the octopus voiced by John Malkovich? Moving on, did some reading on the aquarium in San Fran and the Touch the Bay exhibit has all those listed. Did go to one myself in a different aquarium, it's definitely a little weird touching the fish. And I'm sure Tadashi isn't the only one who pretends he got nailed by sharks. Skates are stingray-adjacent and if you've ever fished on the East Coast you've hooked one at least once.

Back to fish-nerding: most fish are cold-blooded, about 0.1 percent are warm-blooded, including the fully warm-blooded Opah (related to the sunfish) and most sharks and tuna, with sharks having a sort of weirdo hybridized mix between warm and cold-blooded-ness. Apparently, warm-blooded fish are faster. Also yes the fish recognize the people who clean the tanks and there have been instances of them being friendly with the cleaners/divers—actually had a parrot fish a few years back that would nuzzle my arm while I was cleaning our aquarium and be more than willing to let me cup a hand under it like I was holding it.

Also I shouldn't have to say it but the fam is watching the animated Little Mermaid these live-action remakes need to stay in the dumpster where they belong where tf is the color if I want to look at gray moving I'll stir the ash bucket. And Baymax scolds my sleeping habits at least once a fic I've gotten used to it.

Big Hero 6 © 2014 Disney

Stupid stupid stupid idiot—

"Baymax is looking for a vending machine," Cass told him, rubbing his back. "He says tea helps."

"I don't want tea," he muttered, hating this—he was Obake, for crying out loud, the scourge of the underworld, the one who would tear San Fransokyo down to the studs and create a better world—

Until they stopped you—

Until Big Hero Six stopped him and he ended up buried under tons of rubble and bay water, waking up to this insanity—

And then Hiro and Tadashi so blasely discussing the fate of dead bodies in the bay while he was trying to peer through the murk, despite knowing that his base was nowhere near the aquarium…having that thrown in his face had left him unable to get a deep breath in, left him scrambling to get out of there and then struggling to hide the SK when escape wasn't feasible. In sum, he had made a fool of himself and he did not need the sympathy he could feel Cass giving. Force himself to take a deep breath…they had been sitting on a bench outside the tunnels, him with his head between his knees and his arms still wrapped around his head…another deep breath, then another….

Finally sat up a little when he was certain he could do it without his face flaring. "I'm okay. Get off."

Cass's expression suggested that he had been far too blunt, but she obliged. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Do I ever?"

She shrugged, acknowledging this. Didn't like the silence that followed, felt too much like she wanted to make it companionable and compassionate, and the notion that she wanted to give that sensation to him of all people made him uncomfortable say something you idiot.

"Sorry I ruined the day," he muttered, glancing away—apologies weren't his strong suit, and he didn't want to linger on the topic more than necessary.

Cass gave him a strange look. "You don't have to apologize," she said. "Baymax said it was a panic attack, it's not like you schedule those."

Ugh, the stupid robot—"I don't do panic attacks."

"Oh yeah like there's anybody out there who goes oh yay a panic attack I can't wait to have a nervous breakdown in public! It's a thing. It happened. It's over. Don't worry about it."

"Please stop being understanding."

"Well me being irrational wouldn't help," she pointed out. "Want to talk about something else?"

"Anything else."

She made a pensive noise, casting around for another topic. "So apparently Tadashi's going into filmmaking with Fred," she said finally. "Hopefully Fred's a better film writer than most of the guys in Hollywood some of the stuff coming out of there lately has been real stinkers."

Obake blinked at her, hands still resting on the back of his neck from where he had dragged them through his hair. "Were it not for his annoying helpful streak, I'd believe that of Tadashi."

"It gives him something to do in between inventions," Cass said. "I'm guessing you still don't have any plans for the future."

Twitch at that, bit his lip as he sorted through everything wrong with that—none of it would ever make sense to her.

She blinked at him, head tipping as she obviously sorted that into the file labeled sore topics. "Hey, it's okay—most people don't have any idea what they're going to do when they grow up. Like yeah they have an idea but it's not exactly set in stone."

"You're doing the understanding thing again."

"Fine. I can't believe you don't have your life together yet you're sixteen you should know better by now. See why I don't want to go there?" she asked when he dropped his head between his knees again.

She legitimately had no idea the literal everything that was wrong with her statements. "Please, just stop."

Sigh, pat his shoulder a little, keeping a hand on his back like she felt he needed assurance that she was still there and acting like a fretful parent to someone her age. Not that she knew that, not that she'd ever know that, there was no way he'd ever be able to explain that to anyone and if he ever did then he'd better be dying in the next five minutes.

For real this time—

Twitch, hesitate—finally turn a hand so his fingertips were touching her hand, squeeze a little when she moved her hand to hold his. No. No it was far better that she never know, that no one ever knew.

And then Hiro…the reason he was in this position to begin with….

He knew he had been staring, and part of it was him filing it all away for if…when the inevitable happened. This version of Hiro had been a Hiro that he had never seen, one that didn't have heartache and responsibility weighing everything down. This was the Hiro Hamada that had been allowed to be a child still, and he could take some comfort in knowing that he had enabled this.

Tell him…tell him I still think we could have been brilliant together.

Yes…yes they were, the events leading up to this trip had shown that much at least. He had saved the best parts of him, ensured that the worst parts didn't happen…now it was just a matter of making sure it didn't all get wiped out. To ensure that Hiro kept this vibrancy, this life…yes, he'd be willing to sacrifice himself to do so.

But at the same time…no. No he wanted to be greedy about this—maybe there was a way to have his cake and eat it too, like how Fred kept pestering him about. He just had to play this smart.

Starting with ensuring he didn't track this family down.

Deep breath, deep breath…squeeze her hand again before letting go and sitting up. "I'm fine," he said—took note of her expression. "For real this time."

"You're sure?" she asked, still with a hand on his shoulder like she thought he'd vanish if she wasn't touching him.

"I'm certain enough." Scowled a bit when the robot waddled back with drinks.

"The: vendor, had chamomile tea," the robot said, handing Cass a paper cup. "It will help to counteract the effects of the: panic attack."

Obake was aware of the fact that he was acting sulky when he looked away from Cass handing the cup to him, tried to ignore the way his neck pinked at that. Felt like Cass was sorting through what to say before finally settling on "If you drink it I promise to stop asking you if you're okay. For today."

He glanced at her. "Oh really."

"Maybe for the next couple of hours," she admitted.

Sigh. "Fine," he said, taking the cup.

Hiro and Tadashi came over, weaving through the crowds from the other end of the tunnel. "We saw an octopus," Hiro announced. "Pretty sure it was plotting something."

"Didn't see any penguins though," Tadashi said, smirking at the nonsensical statement; sobered as he considered them. "So…."

"We're okay," Cass said, accepting the bottle Baymax handed her.

"Hydration is important to good health," Baymax announced, handing a bottle to Hiro and Tadashi as well.

Tadashi made it a point to look at the nearest massive tank. "I'm going to have to say that no matter what, we'll never match that level of hydration."

Obake felt a shiver start, focused on sipping his tea. The tea was supposed to help.

"So we passed one of the people giving tours on the way over and they said there's this section where we're allowed to actually touch the fish so maybe they have remoras," Hiro announced. "Can we go?"

Cass looked at Obake, making him realize that she wanted confirmation from him that he was okay. He wasn't, not really, but he didn't want these people acting like he was made of glass either. Glance at the notebook Tadashi was handing him, that he didn't even remember dropping; take it, debating.

"Yeah," he said finally, nodding and standing. "Let's go."

The Touch the Bay exhibit was as interesting as they had hoped. Yes, there were plenty of fish there, but also skates and sharks and sea cucumbers that the boys dared each other to touch.

"Okay," Hiro said, sleeve rolled up and hand poised over the skate pool. "I'm gonna touch it."

"Do it," Tadashi ordered.

"Totally gonna touch it."

"Go for it."

"So gonna touch it."

"Anytime now."

"Hey you don't rush these things—you might startle them."

"They're skates, not stingrays," Tadashi said, pointing out the sign.

"Oh for—" Obake started—grabbed Hiro's wrist and plunged his hand into the water.

"HEY!" Hiro barked, yanking his hand back out. "I wasn't ready!"

Something about that made Obake twitch, and Cass couldn't help but think of that day he had had his breakdown—I wasn't ready. Could tell by the scowl that he recalled that too and was mentally shaking it off. "The aquarium has a closing time, Hiro," he replied finally.

"Okay fine," Hiro said, sticking his tongue out at him before turning back to the tank—to see that Tadashi was petting one of the skates. "Hey."

"Ha, I touched it first," Tadashi teased. "You've got to touch one of these guys they feel all slimy."

"Ew," Hiro noised, reaching in and touching one. "Ew it's cold!"

"Well most fish are cold-blooded," Obake said.

"Okay now you touch one."

"Most certainly not."

"Oh come on, you're the only one who hasn't yet!"

"Cass and the robot haven't."

Cass squinted at him, decided to get over her trepidation enough to reach in—as reported, they were cold and slimy.

"Traitor," Obake muttered.

"No using me as an excuse," she teased. "Baymax come touch the fish."

Baymax blinked at the tank, reached a hand in that ended up resting on the surface. "I will have difficulty touching the: fish, as my buoyancy is too great." Blinked again when a skate went up against his hand. "Oh."

"Yeah these guys are really friendly," Cass said, petting one that skimmed over and nosed her hand. "Must be because so many people touch them."

"Now you're really the only one who hasn't touched them," Hiro sneered at Obake, causing the latter to huff…eventually reached in, making a face as a skate came up to his long fingers. Cass wasn't too surprised at him breaking down and doing so—she and Tadashi could huff and wheedle all day long, but usually Hiro only had to ask once or twice for Obake to do whatever, even if it did involve a lot of bellyaching.

"Okay now we go touch the sharks," Tadashi said. "Unless you want to pet the sea cucumbers first."

Hiro went over to the sea cucumber tank. "They look like weird underwater caterpillars."

"Hey maybe that's the new Pokémon—they evolve into sea butterflies."

Hiro gave the sea cucumbers some consideration. "I'm gonna go touch the sharks now."

"Chicken."

"For wanting to touch sharks?"

"For skipping the cucumbers."

"Then you touch them!"

Obake was already at the shark tank and considering them; Cass came up next to him.

"You promised me a few hours at least," he reminded her.

"I know," she said. "I was going to ask you about the sharks."

He looked like he was debating on something, still with that distant look that had been haunting him for a while. "They're understandable. Predators that have to keep moving forward, otherwise they'll die."

"Okay we're going to have to discuss this at some point but you've really got to lighten up someday."

"Must I?"

"It feels important," she said, gingerly reaching down into the tank. One of the sharks noticed, wiggled over to bump its nose against her fingers. "You're kind of young to be so dour."

Obake snorted like this was funny somehow.

"And look at these guys," she said, smiling as another one nudged the first one out of the way so it could be petted instead. "For being scary predators they can certainly be nice."

"So long as you don't rub them the wrong way."

Couldn't help but huff a little at that, looked when Tadashi and Hiro came over.

"Are we sure about these guys?" Hiro asked, peering into the tank.

"Oh sure these guys are fine," Tadashi said, reaching in. "See? AAAUGH!" he yelled, yanking his hand back. "AAUGH they got my fingers aaa!" Screams turned into cackles as Tadashi unfolded his fingers.

"You are SUCH a jerk!" Hiro yelled, smacking Tadashi in the arm several times with his sketchbook.

"I was alerted to the need for assistance when you said: AAAUGH," Baymax said, waddling over.

"Don't bother, Baymax, the only thing wrong with him is he's a jerk."

"Jerk: is not in my healthcare database."

Obake watched Hiro and Tadashi, the latter now with the former in a headlock; looked at her. "So this was nice, but I feel like we're about to be kicked from the aquarium. Possibly for life."

"Well it was nice while it lasted," she said, shrugging.

They did not, in fact, get booted from the aquarium, which made Cass think that this sort of thing happened all the time. One of the workers confirmed this when asked, blinked when Hiro bounced up and asked if there were any remoras they could touch he was curious and he had this project planned—

Hiro describing the project had the guy producing a little tub with a fish in it that looked like the ones that had been sticking to the sharks, with the explanation that it had some sort of fishy disease like the little ones you got from the store got sometimes and was recovered enough now that it was getting ready to go back in the tank.

"I can hold him still for you," the guy said, cupping a hand underneath it. "I clean one of the bigger tanks, they're used to me."

Hiro was still chattering excitedly about that on the way home, Tadashi just as enthusiastically discussing everything, from the little fish to the sharks to the octopus they saw in the Near Shore Tunnel that had Hiro excitedly discussing how they could make Fred's squid work hey Aunt Cass next time you're making Takoyaki can I look at the tentacles do they work like the plastic suckers or is there something else?

Obake was quiet in comparison, which wasn't a surprise—he always seemed to refrain from talking unless he had something to say, never seemed interested in small talk, never seemed to let any excitement show. It was enough to make her wonder what his life was like before he came to live with them.

The boys ate dinner in the garage, busy plotting out new ideas while she cleaned up the kitchen and made popcorn. As expected, there was at least some protest, they were on a tear and they didn't want to quit just yet, but Cass knew better, they had been working for several hours now, take a break and watch a movie or two. Tadashi suggesting Finding Nemo wasn't surprising, brought in drinks as Hiro and Tadashi argued over whether or not to watch The Little Mermaid first.

"I vote The Little Mermaid first," Cass said. "That way there's a good chance you boys will be asleep when Finding Nemo makes me cry."

"Crying is a healthy emotional response," Baymax told her.

"Yeah but then there's the runny noses and it gets messy."

"Ew, Aunt Cass," Hiro said, nose wrinkling.

"And that's another reason I'd rather you boys be asleep first."

"Mr. Sensitive," Tadashi teased; glanced at Obake. "Are you going to be all right, watching this? Like it's not going to bother you."

"Anytime you make me watch movies bothers me," Obake said, sitting on the couch and glaring at him.

"Oh it's on I'm going to make you watch a movie every night this week."

"Play nice boys," Cass said. "Come on, start the movie—I've got popcorn and I am ready."

Obake ended up sandwiched between her and Hiro, Hiro sandwiched between Obake and Tadashi and complaining that Tadashi would end up singing along to everything.

"What?" Tadashi asked. "Not confirming it, but what's wrong with that?"

"You sing off-key," Hiro said.

"Oh it's on now I'll sing along to every song and make it so off-key that Mochi yowls."

"Mrrow," Mochi grumbled, sitting on Baymax as he petted the cat.

Obake was notably uncomfortable with this, sitting ramrod straight with his arms tightly crossed and doing his best to not touch anybody—still watching Hiro more than the movie, although considering Hiro and Tadashi kept horsing around, she figured this was in anticipation of getting knocked into over anything else.

He and Hiro did fall asleep about halfway through Finding Nemo, though, Hiro curled up against him and Tadashi, Obake slouched against him. It was cute but probably not comfortable, and when the movie was over (yes she teared up) she and Tadashi carted the two upstairs.

"So I think Obake fell asleep on the couch just to spite me," Tadashi said quietly as he deposited Hiro on his bed and tugged the covers over. "He's been mad at me for tricking him off it for a while now."

"Well I did tell you to let it happen on its own," she said, tucking Obake in. Never seemed to lose that tightness even in sleep, looked like he was constantly bracing for some new hit she couldn't see coming.

Tadashi watched as she brushed his bangs away, frowning at the thought that she couldn't really do anything to make that tightness go away. "He has nightmares a lot."

Sigh at that. "Well…it'll get better," she said, getting up. "Come on, you need to get to bed too, you have school tomorrow."

"You know, someday I'm going to graduate and have my own hours," Tadashi teased, heading for his bed. "What are you going to tell me then?"

"That you need sleep because being smart doesn't come from being tired."

"The average human requires: eight to ten hours of sleep to be fully functional," Baymax offered, standing in his charger.

"See?"

"You too need sleep, Aunt Cass."

"Hey."

Tadashi laughed, hugged her. "Good night, Aunt Cass."

"Good night," she said, hugging him tightly back, thinking about what he said—maybe someday he'd move out and then someday Hiro would too and Obake and then she would be all alone but today was not that day and she wasn't going to go there. "Love you."

"Love you too," Tadashi said—squawked a little when she tackled him again and went last hug. "Aunt Cass, I'm not going anywhere."

"Yeah, but—" Couldn't help but think of that fire where she had almost lost both of them. Tadashi seemed to sense it, hugged her a little tighter. Glance over at Obake—they would have made it into the fire if it wasn't for him.

"Did Finding Nemo make you emotional again?" Tadashi half-cracked, still too much concern in his voice to make her believe he was fully joking.

"Just a little bit," she said, wiping her eyes. Sigh. "We'll be okay, you know that right?"

"Yeah, I do," Tadashi said, kissing her on the forehead like she still did to them. Yes they were growing up, but they were growing up into fine young men. They had had a somewhat solid foundation, they'd make it.

Glance at Obake again as she went downstairs to her own bed…maybe he didn't have that, before, but he would now.

She'd make sure of that.