Chapter 6: A Matter of Time

"Barry just texted. They made it to Ferris Air and are setting up the Bazooka right now." As she spoke, Iris put her phone away and approached Frost, who was reclining at the main console watching tv.

"Oh, how the plot thickens," Frost replied in a contrastingly bored tone.

Iris chose not to comment on the sarcasm, instead taking a seat next to the doctor. The two of them had been left behind at STAR Labs to watch after Savitar while the rest of the team went to implement the plan. It was only a matter of time until Savitar's fate was made clear. And time had never really been on their side. That, however, was not Iris' chief concern right now. There was an uncomfortable topic she needed to broach with Frost, and the conversation could've gone any number of ways.

Iris cleared her throat and decided to bite the bullet. "So… Barry and Cisco tell me you talked with Julian shortly before he left. Did he… say anything?"

"Real smooth, Iris," Frost replied, immediately seeing through the journalistic facade. She didn't even need to turn away from the television. "You've obviously been sent to get an explanation, so just ask me what you really want to know."

Iris huffed, straitening in her chair. She'd hoped to approach this with more tact, but she could handle directness just as well. "Fine then. I saw the security camera footage. That was… intense – what you said to him. And not entirely deserved."

"You heard what I said, Iris; you know my feelings on it. I may not be Caitlin's number one cheerleader, but I know she deserved better than that."

"I didn't realize that that was weighing on you. We probably should've checked in about that sooner," Iris said with a grimace and, if Frost wasn't mistaken, a bit of regret.

She shrugged. "Don't lose sleep over it. I've always been the type to pick myself up and dust myself off. There's nothing you guys could've done to help that I didn't do for myself."

"Well, at least tell me this… I know why Caitlin was so afraid to be you, but why are you so afraid to be Caitlin?"

That question drew her attention away from the show. She squirmed. "It's not so much her. It's… this team."

"How so?"

Frost hesitated, unsure if she wanted to perpetuate a serious conversation – and with Iris, of all people. Then, after a beat… "Caitlin had a place here; I don't. I already feel like I'm living someone else's life and being here just makes it more noticeable. And don't think I don't notice the skepticism, the thinly veiled animosity. I took Caitlin away for you guys, and now you're bitter. That… is the one thing Savitar and I have in common."

Iris wanted to address the comments about animosity, but she got caught up in the mention of Savitar. "What do you mean?"

"What – Barry didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

Frost scoffed. "Figures." At Iris' concerned look, she decided to elaborate. Anything she could do to enlighten Team Flash of their own shortcomings was a win in her book. "What exactly do you know about Savitar's creation?"

Iris shrugged. "Not much; I'm sure it was a sore subject for Barry to discuss with me. But, from what I've gathered, he was the only one of Barry's time remnants that Savitar didn't kill during their fight against him in the future."

"And?"

"And… he didn't take that well. He grew agitated and convinced himself that Barry was to blame."

"Not entirely true. Sure, he was rattled about being a time remnant – and the only one left, no less – but he didn't just immediately go off the deep end. According to what he told me, Savitar tried to adjust and work with Future Team Flash – including the other Barry. They wouldn't accept him, though. Having another version of Barry hanging around was too much for them to handle. They didn't see him as Barry; they saw him as a mistake, an inconvenience.

"And over time, they started pushing him away, making him feel unwelcome. They treated him like an outcast. In their eyes, there was only one true Barry, and Savitar wasn't him. They wouldn't let him live a life that never should've been. Finally, Savitar did break. Team Flash succeeded in getting rid of him – but not before they did irreparable damage."

Frost tried to keep her face and voice neutral, but with every passing second, she grew angrier and angrier. The injustice of the situation burned her when she first learned of it, and it burned her now. Even amongst all her hatred for Savitar, she still sympathized with his story. He hadn't deserved that treatment – not back then. Frost couldn't help defending Savitar's attitude.

There were many things about him she didn't understand, but his hatred for Team Flash wasn't one of them. He had a right to be angry, and she wanted to make sure everyone knew that. Frost thought she was done defending him. Yet, here she was, rushing to set the record straight at her first opportunity. It was maddening. He didn't care about her troubles, so she shouldn't care about his. She was giving something that she knew she'd never get in return. There was a small bit of her that still felt she owed him something. (Or, even scarier, perhaps she sought to earn his appreciation somehow.) So desperate was she to be accepted by someone – anyone – that she continued to, in one way or another, support a psychopath. Frost wasn't sure if the bile rising in her throat was from anger or disgust. What was wrong with her?

Iris swallowed over the lump in her throat. "Wow, Frost – I, uhh… I had no idea."

"Yeah, well, Team Flash likes to maintain a spotless reputation with no accountability."

"I'm sure that wasn't why he didn't tell me. Like I said, it's a sore subject."

Frost gave her a look but didn't say anything. The two ladies had very different impressions of Barry Allen, and that was not an argument Frost felt like having tonight. Iris would always defend her fiancé, and Frost would (as she saw it) always criticize him. In the doctor's mind, it wasn't a hill worth dying on. They simply saw the matter differently, and that would have to be the case for now.

"Nevertheless," Iris continued with a desolate sigh, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that we made you feel outcast or like you couldn't turn to us."

"You don't have to be nice to me, Iris. You can hate me; I'd understand."

"I don't hate you, Frost." She paused to think carefully about how she wanted to word her thoughts. "I know that you were struggling, and I know you had your own reasons for joining Savitar. I just hope that we can remedy the relationship – whatever's left of it."

Frost began to speak but then thought better of it. For all she knew, West was just blowing out hot air. And if she wasn't, well… Frost wasn't ready to confront that possibility. Instead, she turned the attention away from herself. "Don't' you worry about me, Iris; I'm not the one who needs to hear an apology. Savitar, on the other hand…"

At that moment, both women looked toward the MedBay, where an increasingly weak Savitar lay. They glanced back at each other, sharing unspoken words. Both ladies knew that, if the Bazooka didn't work, this was likely Savitar's last night alive. Frost was more than alright with that (or so she tried to convince herself). Iris, on the other hand, thought deeply on what Frost had said. This was potentially Savitar's last opportunity to reconcile what had happened in his past (future?). So, without another thought, Iris stood and walked into the MedBay.

"Knock knock," she said, tapping gently on the doorframe.

Savitar inclined his head in her direction; he didn't have strength for much else. "What are you doing here?" The question wasn't snippy, like in times past – merely curious.

Iris took that as an invitation to come in and sit beside the bed. "Just checking on you. We're so close to the finish line; I wouldn't want you giving out on us now."

He chuckled wryly. "You're the only one."

"…Are you comfortable? Do you need anything?"

Savitar noticed the way she was fidgeting. Iris always had been a nervous fidgeter; that was one thing he remembered form his past life. She had never been one to beat around the bush, though, so he wondered what could possibly be bothering her.

"I think a better question is: what's up with you?"

Iris chuckled, looking down at her hands. "Right, well, this is awkward, but… I felt the need to apologize to you." She returned eye contact towards the end, so Savitar was able to see that she truly meant her words. Which was perplexing, to say the least.

He tried to avoid the awkward situation with snark. (And, if that wasn't on brand for Savitar, what was?) "I'm guessing Barry doesn't know about this. Otherwise, you'd never even have made it to the door."

"Frost just enlightened me about what happened between you and… Future Team Flash." Iris decided to ignore his provoking and get to the heart of the matter.

Savitar's demeanor lost all sense of humor. His eyes darkened in a way that made her heart clench. "So?"

"I had no idea that they… that you had been treated like that. It… broke my heart to hear" – at his scoff, Iris was quick to reassure him – "Really, it did! I can only assume that grief made them into completely different people. Still, as a member of Team Flash now, I couldn't help feeling embarrassed."

"Embarrassed that Frost said it out loud?"

"What? No! Embarrassed that it happened."

"You were dead, Iris. It had nothing to do with you."

Savitar's dismissive attitude was really beginning to irk her, especially since he was still so obviously hurt. "I may not have had anything to do with it, but I still feel that I owe you an apology on behave of Team Flash. So... I'm sorry."

Savitar knew the apology was coming, but it was still a shock to hear the words "I'm sorry" come out of Iris' mouth – especially since they were directed toward him. "E-excuse me?"

"Future Team Flash was wrong to treat you the way they did. At the time, you were an innocent time remnant, just as deserving of a life as the other Barry. And, for what it's worth, I would've seen to it that the team accepted you – had I been there."

"Well, you're here now, aren't you?"

It took her a minute to realize what Savitar was implying. Iris didn't miss the challenge in his voice, but she continued on as sincerely as possible. "Yes. Yes, I am. And... if all works out in the morning, I promise we'll be of much more help than Future Team Flash."

"Promises are easy to make and hard to keep."

"Maybe so. And you don't have to believe anything I've said – not right now. I just hope that, as we wait to see what happens, you at least consider the possibility that we'll help you get that life back." That there's something to hope for, were the unspoken words on her tongue.

"I guess we'll see, won't we?" Savitar replied.

There was something very final about his words, so, with a somber smile, Iris stood and said, "If you need anything, I'm just in the other room."

Walking back into the Cortex, Iris thought on their conversation. She felt a weight lifted from her chest by the apology and hoped it had brought Savitar some sort of comfort – even on a subconscious level. Iris knew Savitar was reluctant – defiant, even – to believe a word she said. And his reasons weren't completely unjustified. Still, she desperately hoped he'd come around. Closure, especially when faced with death, was (in Iris' mind) very important.

There was, of course, trust to be built on both sides. It wouldn't be easy. Though, things with Team Flash rarely were. While time was often their greatest enemy, it could also be their dearest ally. This wasn't something that a quick conversation or a kind gesture would fix. As with many other things, the situation with Savitar would just have to be a matter of time.