Chapter 7: Que Sera, Sera

Caitlin had never been one to delay the inevitable. During her residency, she'd had to deliver a plethora of bad news. As difficult as that was, she also understood that neither her nor the patient's family would benefit from dragging things out. Reality needed to be dealt with head-on; that was the only way to start the healing process.

Then she was on the other side of that conversation.

When she was told of Ronnie's death, time slowed. Caitlin tried so desperately to stop it – to reverse it, even – but it was a losing battle. Suddenly, she didn't want to face reality. She didn't want to consider the healing process because there was no healing from something like that. So, what was the point in trying? She had a better chance of reversing time.

Caitlin lived in that mindset for nine months. Up until Barry Allen entered the picture.

Barry was, well… Barry was a creature all his own. He wasn't exactly a sterling example of leaving the past in the past; after all, he'd been chasing the mystery of his mother's death for 14 years. And yet, that didn't keep him from accepting the moment. Somehow, it inspired him to keep moving forward, to try his hardest to make a better reality instead of rejecting it altogether. Caitlin learned from that.

Of course, nothing could go well for too long, so eventually she was faced with another nightmare: Killer Frost.

Then old habits returned, and she was delaying the inevitable once again. A part of her always knew that her metahuman side would prevail one day. She could fight as much as she wanted for as long as she wanted, but Killer Frost would win in the end. Caitlin could feel it – feel her icy powers simmering under the surface. Trying to contain them - the bracelets, the necklace, the cure – proved to be exhausting. She knew it was necessary; she knew that havoc would be wrought if Killer Frost won. But she was fighting so hard – ignoring the voice, cutting out the impeding streaks of blonde hair, calming the rage.

When Killer Frost finally did emerge, it was like a breath of fresh air. Suddenly, all this weight was off her shoulders. She didn't have to fight anymore. The inevitable had come, and she basked in the simplicity of it. This was her, now. This was the new reality. And Killer Frost had a much different way of dealing with things. She accepted what she couldn't control, couldn't change. Anything and everything that happened was like water off a duck's back. Que sera, sera.

So, if Frost found herself delaying her arrive to STAR Labs the morning after Savitar's cure was enacted, it was just fatigue. The cure was sapping her strength, that was all. Her morning shower was a little bit longer – so what? She took the time to make an elaborate breakfast – no big deal. Great consideration was put into her outfit for the day – nothing odd about that. Her walking pace was slow – what's the big deal? It was a nice day; she wanted to savor the walk.

The one thing she absolutely, positively wasn't doing was stalling. Stalling would suggest that there was a possible reality she didn't want to face. There wasn't. (Yes, she'll say it again for those in the back: she wasn't trying to avoid anything.) Avoiding things was Caitlin's way to cope. Frost didn't get worked up the same way. It was just another average day – the outcome of which would have no impact on her whatsoever.

Upon entering STAR Labs, Frost squared her shoulders, raised her chin, and straightened her back. Calm, cool, collected, and unaffected – that was the image she needed to portray. (Because that's how she was truly feeling. Obviously.) As she approached the Cortex, Frost heard a coagulation of voices.

Rounding the corner, she came face-to-face with a merry group gathered in the middle of the room – Barry, Iris, Cisco, Joe, Harry, Wally, Tracy… and Jay. They were laughing, talking, smiling. For the first time in a while, the energy in STAR Labs was hopeful and joyous. Team Flash had won. They well and truly had won; everything worked out in their favor.

Frost didn't know what to feel. It didn't seem like her victory. She hadn't done anything to help get Jay out; if anything, she had actively worked to keep him in the Speedforce. It wasn't quite a failure either, though. It just didn't involve her; she had no stakes in this one. My, how confusing this past week had been. She went from being at the center of a conflict to watching from the sidelines. What exactly did that mean for her? Where did she go from here?

"Caitlin? Is that you?"

Frost pulled herself out of her thoughts, back into the present. In the midst of all the celebrating, one person had immediately taken notice of her arrival: Jay. And obviously, he hadn't been briefed on the most recent developments.

Frost gave him a humorous look. "Not exactly. Guess all that time in the Speedforce tossed you out of the loop, huh?"

Barry, now aware of her presence, jumped in to manage the potentially awkward exchange. "Yeah, huh, that's a bit of a story." He took a moment to critically appraise Frost, trying to decide what was and wasn't appropriate to discuss right now. "But uhm, we can get into all that later. All you need to know for now is that Caitlin prefers to go by 'Frost', and she… she has powers."

With a smirk, Frost raised her hand and released some ice-cold fog, giving Jay an innocent little wave.

Jay's eyebrows rose to his forehead. "My goodness. That… that is new." He paused, desperately wanting to ask questions. However, between the expressions on Team Flash's faces and the newly uncomfortable aura, he wisely deduced that it wasn't the right time. "Well… Frost… that is- that is amazing. Caitlin always struck me as a powerful woman, so… I'm not surprised."

That was a lie, and Frost knew it. She saw the barely masked shock in Jay's eyes. In his defense, it was obvious that he was trying to play it cool. Frost appreciated that in a weird way. However, no one but her could play it cool; to watch them try was just embarrassing.

Feeling generous – and not desiring to see Jay squirm any more than he already was – Frost smiled minutely. "Thanks, Jay. I'm sure she'd appreciate that." That response just renewed his confusion, but Frost chose to ignore it. Instead, she steered the conversation toward a much less friendly topic. "So, if you're here, then I guess that means…"

Barry nodded. "Yeah. Savitar lives to see another day."

Frost tsked, solemnly shaking her head. "What a shame."

"…Yeah, well, anyway," Barry continued, not at all equipped to address her response, "He's still posted up in the MedBay. He's already looking better, but I don't think the healing process will be immediate. He'll probably need medical supervision for a little while longer." Barry said the last bit guiltily, unsure how Frost would react to that news.

To his surprise, she just shrugged noncommittally. "Figures. I guess that's my lot in life – nursing one or more versions of Barry Allen back to health."

Barry chuckled at that, but when he saw Frost making her way to the MedBay, he quickly intervened: "Oh, Frost, wait up! We were actually waiting for you. We're going to celebrate Jay's return to Earth – and Tracy's upcoming return to school – with breakfast at The HOW. Thought you might want to join."

"'The HOW'?" questioned Jay.

"House of Waffles," Iris supplied, somewhat caught off guard. "Do you not have HOW on your Earth?"

"Not that I'm aware."

Cisco loudly clapped his hands together. "Oh boy! Well then, you are in for a treat, my friend! The HOW is waffle heaven. Any waffles not made there are ashamed of themselves. These waffles- Jay, these waffles… are the size of your head. And! they don't just do breakfast waffles. Mm-mm. I'm talkin' dessert waffles! Picture strawberries, blueberries, whipped cream, powdered sugar, caramel drizzle, chocolate syrup, chocolate chips-"

"Cisco," Barry interrupted with a smile and a laugh, "I think Jay gets the idea. So, Frost, what do you say?"

"As… interesting as that all sounds, I think I should probably stay here and keep an eye on Sleeping Ugly." (That, and the fact that breakfast with Tracy and Jay was about the last thing Frost wanted to do. Ever.)

"Ah, don't worry about him," Cisco said with a dismissive wave. "He's not going anywhere. Between the fatigue and those power dampeners, there's no harm leaving him alone for a while."

Frost refused to admit when her heart clenched at those words. Leaving him alone for a while. Yeah, that's what got them in this mess in the first place. Savitar's been alone for a lot longer than "a while." That never led anywhere good.

Frost shrugged, trying to come off nonchalant. "Well, the cure must be working 'cuz… something in me that sounds a lot like Caitlin is saying: 'doctors don't abandon their patients'."

The mention of Caitlin and the cure had its desired effect. Everyone brightened. Barry smiled, though he tried to contain himself. "Alright, if that's how you feel, we won't stop you. Just… make sure to look out for yourself, too. You did have that dizzy spell the other day-"

"Oh, here we go again with that," Frost moaned. "Barry, you're smothering me. I'm a big girl; I can take care of myself."

"Yeah, Barry," Cisco chimed in, trying to discreetly make his way to the exit, "Leave the lady some room to breathe. She'll get some precious alone time, and we'll get some waffles. Win-win."

With that said, Cisco began herding the group out the door, eager to get to The HOW. Barry chuckled at his antics, but still turned to address Frost before he left. "Alright, well, we'll bring you something back. What sort of waffles do you like?"

"Frozen," Frost replied easily, smugly.

Barry shook his head with a breathy laugh, said he would just choose for her, and finally left. Frost waited until the voices of the group had disappeared down the hall. (She wasn't stalling, of course. She just wanted to be sure that Barry was actually going to leave her be.) Once she was sure the elevator had carried them down, Frost made her way into the MedBay.

Savitar was sitting up in bed looking, among other things, bored. The color had returned to his skin, and all trembling had ceased. According to Barry, he was still weak. But as far as outward appearances went, he didn't look like a dead man walking, anymore. Probably because he wasn't a dead man walking, anymore. The moment he laid eyes on Frost, of course, his bored demeanor changed to one of disdain.

"Oh, what now? Come to crucify me since you know time won't be doing your dirty work for you?"

Frost stalked over, a scowl on her face. "That's not a very nice way to address the woman who kept you alive."

"And who has yet become the bane of my existence."

She aggressively grabbed the blood pressure cuff, ripping apart the Velcro. "I thought that was Barry's role."

"A man can have more than one enemy."

Frost scoffed but didn't say anything else. Savitar watched intensely as she took his blood pressure, then his temperature, then his pupil dilation. Perhaps he really did expect her to attack. Frost took a decent amount of delight in the knowledge that he actually feared her, regardless of what he might say. She was, after all, the only one who could challenge him. Barry was nowhere near fast enough; they'd proven that with H.R. And Cisco was far from mastering his powers, as was Wally. No – Frost was the only one that could truly cause problems for him. The ice that ran through her veins could prove very efficient in keeping him from running. Of course, that didn't stop him from tormenting his only real opponent. Stubborn idiot.

"I could've disappeared from existence last night, and you didn't even have the decency to say goodbye," Savitar said after the silence had gone on too long for his liking, hoping to provoke a reply. He could handle trading insults with Frost. He thrived on it, even. But lapses in any conversation whatsoever was… unnerving.

Frost hummed wistfully. "Mm. If only."

Another long silence followed, punctuated only by the sound of Frost's pen on her clipboard. For Savitar, it was becoming insufferable. He'd derived so much joy from imagining all the nasty ways she might respond to his survival. The nastier the response, the more he could agitate her. Yet, here she was, calm and disinterested. That was no fun.

Savitar narrowed his eyes. "What – no scolding? No condemnation? No desperate insistence on an apology?"

"Nope," Frost said, putting the clipboard aside. For the first time since entering the room, she looked directly at Savitar. "I'm done wasting my time and energy on a child. It's unsustainable. And since you're not dying, I have to find a more creative way to rid myself of you. Now," she gestured to the meta-dampening bracelets, "Since your powers aren't killing you anymore, I'm taking these off. The speed-healing will go a long way in getting you back on your feet."

"Have you-" Savitar cut himself off, as Frost wasted no time removing the cuffs. As soon as they were off, a violent shiver wracked his body as his powers were let off their leash. Once he had recovered, Savitar turned back to Frost with a condescending glare. "Have you checked with Barry about this? It might damage your precious little relationship if he finds out that you uncaged the beast without permission."

Frost smirked. "Trust me, Savitar; Team Flash does not consider you a threat right now. They were so confident in your weakened state that they asked me to go to breakfast with them – and leave you by yourself."

Savitar scowled. "I guess I'll have to remind them, then."

Frost sighed impatiently. "Wow. Savitar, you are quite possibly the densest person I've ever met-" when she saw him winding up for a retort, she hurried to talk over him "-no, just shut up for two seconds and listen. As the only person who's ever been able to tolerate you for any significant amount of time, believe me when I say that this is your last chance. Don't bite the hand that feeds you."

Savitar made a sour face. "I thought you were done wasting time on me."

(Well, yes, but that was a hard charade to maintain while she was simultaneously acting as his doctor. Maybe this was just her way of denying the inevitable.)

"I am. Just consider that a professional courtesy from Caitlin."