Echoes of the beast
Disclaimer
Starcraft is the property of Blizzard entertainment.
Mass effect is the property of Bioware.
Any elements used in this story are used only in order to create a story for no monetary gain nor do I claim any ownership over them, beyond the names and characters unique to this story.
SSV Normandy - Orbit over Sharjila
Shepard
The commander was annoyed at how common it had become to interrogate one particular member of their group.
But this mostly came out of the need for the group to know what the hell had happened in each situation.
And this was no different.
The ground crew gathered in the meeting room after all were allowed to store their gear and reunited rather quickly as they wished to know what exactly had they faced in that cursed place.
Once all were gathered Shepard looked towards the only person who held any answers to what they wished to know.
"Now that all of us are gathered here" he glared at the protoss "Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Shepard would allow the protoss to at least defend himself and his actions.
As Xiltar sat quietly in his chair Shepard could see some conflict in the mind of the protoss (You were reckless…) he spoke through his psychic abilities to convey the sense of disappointment and shame he felt at that moment. But just as Shepard was about to berate him for this, he continued (But I appreciate your willingness to fight for me… Thank you).
Xiltar rose from his seat and blocked the exit with his massive form.
"Are you going to tell us what the hell we fought down there?" Williams asked with an angered tone.
Xiltar glared while not looking anywhere specific (...) a grunt could be heard through his thoughts (An enemy your galaxy is not ready for) this would most likely be taken poorly by most of the crew had the onslaught they endured not been so ruthless (The things I will be telling is not for those who would shield under cowardice… Are you willing to listen?) he looked at Shepard while asking this question.
Shepard looked quickly around the room. While most masked their frustration under a guise of seriousness he was sure that nobody in this room would be acting the coward after they had proven themselves to him.
"I don't think you will be getting any cowards today" Shepard said in coky tone.
(That is for me to judge… Shepard) Xiltar said this in a strenuous voice (You've met the zerg. The great devourer, the butchers of all life, bane of existence and spawns of oblivion) he closed his eyes (They were… are… a race that was created by the ones I considered gods…) Shepard understood that Xiltar was speaking of the Xel'naga (While my people were not privy to the most heinous of their atrocities we were nonetheless made aware of them in time…) Xiltar reached for something on his back and extracted the orb that had warned him of the impending zerg attack (I will show you what my race faced) the orb began to glow with a white light and after a moment it began to levitate by itself.
-How may I be of service?- It spoke with that intangible voice.
(I may not be aware of their countless horrors but I do know of one that you should see…) he pointed to the machine (Show them the fall of Aiur).
The orb followed his orders and began to make a projection on the far side of the room. All turned to face it as it began to show an oily substance…
-Warning, record dated 2500 C.E. is incomplete. Notice, auxiliary record annexed… Compensating- the orb said as the oily substance began to shift and churned until it showed something… impossible.
The projection began to display a wonder as none in that room had ever seen as a land that had never been seen by any outsider came into view and graced these beings with its sheer majesty. For they were observing a world that would shadow even the most perfect work of art ever created by the races of their galaxy and would make even the most cultured of the asari artists jealous.
They were shown streets made out of gleaming gold as it reflected a beautiful sun that resided over a clear and endless sky. Tall spires emerged from the ground as they reached for the heavens, their form showed nothing short of perfect and methodical craftsmanship in their making as they governed the horizon with might and splendor. These structures didn't do this as dull and gray edifices, no, these were works of art in their own right.
The group could see as life flourished all around them in the form of vegetation that was intertwined with the city in such a seamless manner that one may never notice the difference between life and metal unless they somehow managed to separate their gazes from the other wonders around them.
A shadow loomed over them for a moment and as their perspective followed the mass that casted this massive shadow, they saw that the sky wasn't as empty as they had originally believed.
In the sky they could see as massive ships cruised through the heavens, their size and splendor marveled the imagination of those people who were witnesses to their splendor.
They saw as their course was charted and these ships went towards impossibly large structures that were suspended in the sky without any support. These structures must have been some sort of portal as Shepard could see a night sky contrasting the daylight where these structures floated as if they were windows into another plane entirely.
-Khas' memorial. City of Khor-shakal, Aiur. Homeworld of the protoss- The machine said as it began to move their perspective along the street they were first shown.
Once the group had managed to divert their attention from the city that would have shadowed anything their own worlds had to offer, they noticed something a person would always relate with a heavily developed area in such a world but would pass a detail so mundane that one may never pay mind towards it.
The people.
As they cruised in a slow fashion along the streets of this pristine world they began to take notice of the residents of this city.
Protoss.
Countless of them.
Shepard and the others saw as figures not too dissimilar from their friend lived what most have passed for ordinary lives amongst a race of such bizarre and strange creatures. Shepard could see as they were a people who lived along the streets of their own works without any worries or distraught. They saw tall figures adorned with a sort of golden armor and they wore the finest clothes he had ever seen as they were made with such perfect symmetry and artistry that it made their roughed looking companion seem like some sort of beggar in comparison.
Shepard's focus then fell on a particular group of these aliens…
A group of four people managed to distinguish themselves amongst the crowd in Shepard's perspective as he took notice of them. Two tall figures escorted two smaller figures as they walked across the streets of this golden plaza. A faint smile appeared in Shepard's face as the two smaller figures began to play tag with each other while the bigger ones leaned into each other in a caring manner.
A family.
He looked at them with a calm expression as this little detail somehow enthralled the human and he continued to gaze over the two young protoss in amusement.
But he was not ready for what was to come…
-Addendum complete- the voice said -Wayfarer, are you sure…-.
(Yes) Xiltar interrupted harshly with a particular feeling behind his words.
Was that sorrow?
The orb flickered in its projection for a moment and the murky image replaced the image of the city before changing once again…
Into that of a nightmare.
The once blue sky that reigned over the city was now perverted into a shade of cinder and a hellish color that could not be properly described in any human book that spoke of how the world was supposed to end.
The lush jungle that had been seen in the far distance had been completely destroyed as a putrid violet mass took its rightful place.
They were then forced to see as everything that made this world a paradise was laid to ruins around them…
The once perfect world was destroyed and defiled in every corner to which they turned to look. They now saw as the golden spires that reached for the heavens began to fall around them as black masses impacted against them while falling from the sky.
Putrid masses of flesh had conquered the heavens of this world from the vessels and portals that once claimed their rightful dominion over the sky. The green that once stood amongst the golden streets had now been replaced by a putrid mass that churned and moved with a disgusting and macabre purpose.
And then, they appeared…
The city that had stood as a home to the kind of their wandering companion was destroyed by an army that was conjured straight out of hell. A swarm of monsters moved over the now destroyed city Shepard could see familiar figures moving in the miasma of dust of rubble…
The figures of the aliens they had faced that same day came towards them in droves beyond what they had even thought was possible, the purpose of these hounds of hell was now made clear as they tried to outrun any who would dare escape their carnage. Next to them slithered the figures of aliens that would tower over most denizens of the galaxy had they the chance to encounter such a monster in real life. The nefarious grin that they sported betrayed any kind of sadism these blank beings might have tried to hide from their prey.
And then the ground began to tremble…
As more of the city began to fall and quake in the steps of an approaching figure did Shepard begin to think that his anger towards the protoss might have been misplaced after all.
A mountain of carapace and blade began to rampage through the city it dwarfed over as it trashed and destroyed everything in its path.
Such a titanic beast would have only been brought down with the use of heavy ordnance or maybe even by using some sort of capital vessel to puncture the armor of this behemoth.
But to face such a creature while it was escorted by this small army would be impossible to accomplish from the ground alone.
To their brief relief they saw the group leave the area as they would most likely continue their carnage in another place all together.
But their respite was short…
In the ground where the zerg had crossed mere moments ago they began to see the results of the rampage as the dust clouds began to recede slowly to reveal… Xiltar's people.
They saw a sea of bodies now paving the grounds of their former home… not a single soul had been spared.
And then Shepard saw two big lumps… next to two smaller ones…
"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Shepard screamed in anger and sadness.
The projection ended unceremoniously after he uttered this words and the room stayed silent because of this.
Shepard could not believe what had been shown to him…
How could a wonder be destroyed so thoroughly?
How could anybody create such an abomination willingly?
How could one fight that?
Shepard recovered enough from the shock of this to measure the reactions of the rest of his crew…
Of Ashley and Kaidan he perceived reactions similar to his own. The difference being that the anger that masked the fear in both of these soldiers emanated in distinct manners: For Ashley he could see the fire of a soldier who wanted to strike at the emptiness in front of her. In Kaidan he saw a righteous fury that would make him fight this horror to his bitter end.
As he turned to the other side of the room he saw some expected responses. Along with one that worried him…
Garrus did not betray his true feelings as he hid them under a stoic mask that allowed him to process what he had just seen. Shepard guessed that the tuned mind of a turian might have been more focused on the particular aspects of the enemy rather than the artistry now destroyed.
Wrex acted true to a krogan in the regard that he was not completely disturbed by the heinous scenes presented to them. But Shepard understood that Wrex was somewhat shaken by the revelation as he did not show any outward glee in seeing the true capabilities of the zerg.
Shepard felt pity for the shaking Tali. He sometimes forgot that she was just a girl and as such she had not met the true horrors that reality could manifest. He truly regretted not ordering her to leave the room. She for her part kept shaking while he could hear some sobbing coming from her direction.
Then there was Liara…
To his honest surprise her reaction did not approach his guess. Shepard thought that he would see Liara in a state not too dissimilar from that of Tali but she showed none of this.
He saw as she just stared blankly at her own hands, her true feelings on the matter were hidden from him as she just kept a blank stare at all times.
And in the bitter end there was Xiltar…
(The zerg…) his weak voice made it so the focus could return to him (Its unending nightmare now hunts me across realms…) he closed his eyes to calm his nerves (This is the beast that should have remained dead… What I tried to spare you from) he said this while clenching his fist in anger.
"I… I'm sorry, Xiltar. We didn't…" Shepard was interrupted by the Protoss.
(You're pity is misplaced) Xiltar said while holding up a hand (You wished to know. Now let me teach you…) he turned to the machine (Machine. How many souls lived on Aiur before… this?) Shepard did not like where this was going.
-Last population census shows a record of 12,549,832,094 Protoss resided on Aiur before the onset of the first great war. 25 million recided in the city of Khor-shakal- the machine said.
"So many…" whispered Tali in shock.
(...) another grunt from Xiltar was heard (How many Khalai escaped from Aiur?) Shepard only understood this last question for what it truly was: How many survived…
-98,571,402 individuals made the exodus to the world of Shakuras. An additional 11 million survivors would be found in future years, having survived in Aiur after the death of the overmind- the machine said.
(My people were meant to fight these… things) his words began to fill with anger (We were made for this) he turned towards Shepard, Kaidan and Ashley (We were created as a tool for despicable gods so they could accomplish their perfidious goals. My kind once thought that we were the only beings with any hope to stop these monsters) he then turned towards Garrus, Wrex, Tali and Liara (I think differently now) he focused now on the machine that had shown these revelations to them (Show them our hope).
-Affirmative. Human and Protoss assault against the overmind. End of the first great war, onset of the brood war- the machine mentioned the name of his species before it began to show the projection of one final moment…
In the now clouded world called Aiur they saw as these aliens corrupted everything in their path as massive tumors of flesh and bone stole the place of the structures built by the protoss and supplanted them with a nightmarish sight…
Their focus was then directed towards a mountain that had been covered by this abominations as it now was covered in the brown carapace of this monster and oozed a purple substance that contorted and moved as if it were alive.
But there was no mountain.
The ground trembled as the peak of this great mass opened and revealed a purple light that reached for the heavens while some sort of flying bat winged creatures emerged from it and began to circle the torrent of light that now emanated from this place.
What they originally believed to be a mountain then began to open as it's faces began to separate and rise as if they were some sort of appendages that had been doing nothing but resting…
That mas… it was alive.
This was a true manifestation of horror.
They saw as this mass of flesh and bone towered over a field of the people substance that was partially occupied by some sort of great sist that seemed to be surrounded by smaller masses that glowed with a green color.
The torrent of light began to shine brighter as nefarious energies crackled around. Shepard could see that from the glowing objects began to appear an army of aliens that seemingly had just been birthed out of nowhere.
After another pulse of light, the armies below this creature began to move as if this were the command for them to sally fort into a crusade of destruction.
How could anybody face that?
…
They then saw hope…
In the distant horizon they could see as blue explosions were manifested in the darkness of the battlefield as the putrid infestation of these aliens began to be contested by an unknown assailant as they hacked away at the beasts and destroyed their forms with a barrage of blue projectiles.
Their perspective was shifted and they followed this asailling army from behind.
It was the protoss.
They saw a column of golden warriors armed with glowing blades strapped to their wrists as they charged headlong against a tide of the zerg that rallied to oppose them.
But these warriors weren't alone.
Quadrupedal looking machines supported these warriors as they bombarded the tide of aliens from afar while maggot-like robots launched salvos of blue energy through the ground until they contacted the bakline of the zerg and exploded in a violent display. These machines were the ones that launched the projectiles that Shepard had just seen as they illuminated the darkness.
And just as more of the smaller aliens charged against the line a storm of lightning began to fry and consume those creatures before they could reach the line of warriors.
Regal looking warriors that floated in the edge of a ridge overlooking the main assault began to crackle with what seemed to be this same energy as they directed these energies into the allconsuming storms just below.
Was this what Xiltar had intended to do in that place?
It would have been a powerful attack… But it would seem that this would not be enough…
As the zerg responde to this threat, they began to send the more massive bioforms at their disposal to break this desperate assault as creatures that looked identical to the titanic monster from before charged against the diminished line of protoss.
The line would have buckled had it not been for an unseen savior as they heard the sound of heavy machinery entering the battlefield…
A column of gray vehicles appeared over the ridge opposite of that with the protoss casters and took position overlooking their enemy. But instead of outright firing upon the zerg, as Shepard had expected, these vehicles began to shift in form as the metal twisted and turned until these strange looking tanks took the shape of some sort of artillery before they fired upon the zerg.
Explosions rocked the battlefield on the side of the zerg after the shots of these artillerymen made contact with the enemy and decimated the line of aliens before putting a stop to the charge of the lumbering behemoths.
Some sort of transports began to approach the line of the protoss from behind and effortlessly managed to land a considerable amount of reinforcements that were obviously not that of the protoss…
Sheaprd saw as armorclad figures descended from this transports and engaged the tide of aliens with weapons that crackled like thunder and combed through the aliens from afar while taking cover behind any debri or terrain that could protect them from bone-like projectiles that were sent in their direction by the snake looking aliens.
The commander could clearly recognize this tactic as some form of war that he was more accustomed to.
This were humans.
It would have been an understatement by Shepard to say that he was surprised by the speed and effectiveness in which these people fought despite using such bulky and cumbersome looking armors as he originally guessed that they would have been slow due to their size.
This wasn't the case.
The highly armored soldiers fought with such coordination and prowess that Shepard guessed they might have been some sort of special forces unit rather than the regular soldiery but as he analyzed the battlefield and failed to see any other human that wasn't armored in these suits he realized that THIS were the common soldiers of humanity in that universe.
Fast moving ships of golden and gray hue screamed past the battlefield as they bombarded the hordes of zerg with lasers and plasma so they could aid the advancing force with close air support.
From behind the column of zerg began to approach a cloud of flying aliens that intended to engage the ship's of the humans and the protoss forces.
Their small fleet was engaged and the war entered into a statemate as both armies battled back and forth without any clear victor being decided.
Shepard understood that even if the allied force managed to hold out for longer there wouldn't be much of a chance for them to reach the hulking monster in the distance without further sacrifice.
But it would seem that this was the plan all along…
The perspective suddenly shifted so they were now facing towards the heavens.
In the darkness of the cloud filled sky, small flashes of blue light began to briefly appear but those present in the chamber could make out what happened up there.
But before any of them could ask why they continued to look upwards, from the sky began to descend the looming shapes of massive warships of the protoss race… along with other vessels that seemed to be made by another.
If the assault was only joined by the forces of humanity then Shepard could now see how these other humans carried themselves across the stars as the shapes of gray massive ships joined the ranks of protoss with their golden vessels.
Salvos of crimson energy were launched from the human vessels until they slammed against the hordes of the zerg and incinerated some of the organic looking objects that must have held the function of structures for the aliens.
From the golden vessels they saw swarms of fighters were launched in an incredible number. Their incomprehensible flight patterns coupled with the rate at which they fired upon the tide of zerg made the commander slightly nervous for what Xiltar's people were truly capable of.
Their perspective changed once more and they were back to the side of the mountain of flesh as they managed to see that even now it continued to create more monsters while screaming towards the heavens in that torrent of violet energies.
While on the distant horizon they saw these massive warships exchanging fire with more of the organic flyers they saw as one sole ship peeled away from the silver and golden fleet. This sole vessel charged towards the mountain of flesh with righteous purpose as more flyers tried to intercept and destroy it.
As pieces fell from this golden vessel Shepard could not prepare his mind for what he was about to witness…
A massive rift opened above the gigantic beast and space began to warp around this rift while the creature seemed to be reaching for this rift with its twisting tendrils.
But just before the creature could do anything else, the vessel was destroyed in a violent explosion that disintegrated the ship into dust and ash while a wisp of light remained behind. This wisp then was unleashed into a torrent of energy as it slammed against the putrid hide of the beast.
The group saw as this perversion of life began to break and shatter into pieces as the rift that it intended to use for an escape consumed the shattered carcass of the Overmind and ended it's being…
Before the video feed was cut the group could hear as the power of the protoss rendered the flesh from the bones of the overmind… and the last screech of a will enslaved millenia ago died with it.
…
(En Taro Tassadar) whispered Xiltar as the projection finally ended. And as silence began to set in the room he held up his hand and commanded the orb to return to his possession once more (...) more grunting was heard from the alien (That is the enemy that has been brought to this realm) he went to the center of the room (Whoever is responsible for bringing this beings into our… YOUR universe has made a terrible mistake) he narrowed his eyes as he turned towards Shepard's side (Would it have been the terrans?).
Shepard did not take the insinuation lightly but another person beat him to the punch "How can you insinuate that we would bring… THAT into our galaxy?" Ashley retorted as she did not take this insult lightly. But in truth even Shepard could feel that something about that last statement must be wrong. There's just no way… is there?
(Greed and ambition was what propelled the terrans as I was told by others…) Xiltar began (The truth is that my kind emerged from stasis long after yours had been reaped from existence. And those who aided my cousins during that battle represented nothing but a small fraction of your race who understood that the zerg were a threat to all) he placed a hand on his chest as he said this (It was painful to discover that most of your race in our corner of the galaxy decided to stay out of our struggle or downright fought us whenever we encountered…) he removed his hand from his chest and turned to look into empty space (Please… help me find the truth behind who reincarnated the zerg. Redeem you race and aid me in their eradication… for all our sakes) He moved back towards the exit and waited for what Shepard had to say.
Shepard began to process what had just been told and shown to the group. The zerg were not an enemy they could underestimate now, but the commander had a mission that was far more imperative to him at the moment.
"I…" Shepard began "I don't think we can deviate that much from our original mission, Xiltar. Searching through the travers for any evidence of who was responsible for what we saw could take months. With Saren on the loose such a diversion could put the galaxy in danger" Xiltar looked as if he wanted to fight the commander on this, but Shepard held a hand to continue "That doesn't mean we will do nothing" Shepard rose from his seat"As before this information does not leave this room or this vessel… You all have fought hard, get some rest" the commander then pointed towards Xiltar "Except for you".
The protoss nodded and moved to the side so the rest of his companions could leave the room.
As the group began to rise and move towards the exit, Shepard saw as most of them were shaken by the events they had just seen but true to his words he saw no cowards. His crew were more than willing to fight these monsters alongside their commander.
Shepard would never forget this.
A detail he found particular is that as the sole quarian on the ship passed next to Xiltar she stopped in her step and raised her head slightly towards the protoss. Shepard did not see if she said anything but Xiltar just placed a hand on her shoulder and shook his head in denial as if he was saying she had nothing to be sorry about.
After the crew had left the room Shepard motioned for Xiltar to stand next to him as he warned the galaxy of another threat.
"I hope you can help me with this" Shepard confessed "I don't think the council will believe us as much as I would like them to" Shepard felt as an armored hand rested on his shoulder.
(You will be surprised commander) Xiltar confessed… What had he told the council before they left him with Shepard (Just partially… This is due to my agreement with them. But I would prefer for them to explain) he said this as he removed his hand. Shepard was annoyed that he continued to read his mind.
"Stop reading my mind, please. I know you are capable of that" Shepard said this as he began to dial the council "Here goes nothing".
(...) a grunt from the alien. He pressed the function that allowed his thoughts to be made into sound "An odd saying, John Shepard".
The call was answered by the council just as Shepard began to believe that they were going to leave him hanging.
"Ah, commander. To what do we owe this…" Councilor Tevos froze as she saw that Xiltar was accompanying him this time "Em… How can we assist you, Elder Xiltar?" she said this as her companions finally materialized next to her.
"Too much to speak about in such a short amount" Xiltar said "There is a situation related to a matter we spoke of prior to my investigation into Nihlus' disappearance…" Xiltar paused for a moment as he contemplated something else "How is he?".
"Spectre Nihlus is recovering at an acceptable rate" the salarian councilor began "Is this matter related to the past of your people?" Valern said this as he placed his hand over his chin in contemplation.
"Indeed Councilor" Xiltar said before turning to Shepard "During our expedition into the traverse we discovered an unknown actor that has attained some rather dangerous capabilities…" the protoss then moved to the side and allowed for Shepard to continue.
"We discovered that an unknown organization has been conducting experiments on this region of space and has possibly placed the whole galaxy in jeopardy" Shepard began before he paused for a moment as he remembered the parody of Akuze "They butchered a platoon of alliance soldiers by luring them into a thresher maw's nest and decimated a pirate base with the use of bioweapons".
The council froze at the mention of those bioweapons, but before they could ask the exact nature of the this weapons, Xiltar moved in front of Shepard and began to explain "This matter is related to one the species from the times of my people… someone managed to resurrect the zerg".
The commande was confused by this "You… you told them about these aliens?" Had he told them that his race wasn't of this universe as well?
Xiltar seemed to realize this small factor and intervened "I told the council that this race was one of the factors by which we decided to exile ourselves from the galaxy" Xiltar said as he turned to shepard once more. It would seem that the protoss had only told the truth to those people in this vessel "Mainly as an exchange of good faith. So that the council may have some knowledge of the origin of my people".
Sparatus sighed "Indeed commander" the Turian councilor began to explain their reasoning "After the revelation that our most trusted agent had been working towards the annihilation of all life, we saw it as a poor decision to begin to ignore any warning that came backed by… strong evidence".
"I showed them the horror of the zerg and explained the path of carnage that was left in their wake" Xiltar explained "They took my warning more seriously since they were able to see a fragment of my past and that of my people" the trio shivered as they remembered such gruesome acts.
"Wait. Why did you mention those abominations again?" Valern said "Could they…"
"Yes" Shepard said "We found evidence that an unknown agent managed to 'clone' these beings through undisclosed means".
"Have you any evidence to support this claim" Shepard only had the bodies he wished to give to the alliance and council to study. But bringing a corpse of such a creature before the council? No "Did you find anything of use in that base, Xiltar?"
The Protoss nodded "There was a recording along the files of the pirate base" he reached for the orb "Show the last recording addressed to the Asari".
The orb interacted with the recording and managed to create a display on the terminal. Shepard guessed that the councilors must have had the same thing displayed on their end as they reacted as if a message had appeared.
The recording showed a shadowy silhouette in an orange background. Shepard could not make any detail but one thing was for certain… it was the shape of a human "…We appreciate your contribution towards furthering the cause of mankind, alien scum…" the voice said in a xenophobic manner as it regarded those to whom the message was meant with disgust.
So it was the fault of a human…
"This message was sent before the attack" Xiltar explained.
"And once these people had a group of pirates cornered, they sent zerg against them…" Shepard continued the explanation "We are going back to the citadel to complete the retrofitting of our ship. We will be giving the corpses recovered to the council as well as the alliance so they may study them in depth" Shepard turned to Xiltar "Do you agree to this?"
"Begrudgingly" Xiltar said "While the material in question will be dead, do not think for a moment that any use may be found in their flesh. I hope you can explain this to your respective governments and are aware of the risks".
"We… appreciate the gesture of the cooperation, commander" Tevos said "We hope you can report to us briefly while your vessel is in port. Good day".
Their stay on the citadel would be… an eventful one.
Afterword.
This… I am happy with this one.
Hellion117 - (Xiltar passes the creep infused boof to the little hydralisk that could)
Lad, let me tell you a story…
There once was a little race of aliens that thought they could go against the Protoss…
Then Tassadar occured, the end.
In all honesty it is actually cool to have the input of somebody who mained the Zerg but I want to make clear that this fic is more Protoss centric so you might not get any true development with them…
Yet.
Edit:
As promised. I reworked this chapter to a better state.
The insight given by the good M8 InSaNEC was instrumental in me realizing that I had written my first shait chapter (Disregarding the first one, they gave me so much disgust I had to reinvent the introduction to the series).
So…
InSaNEC - You are completely correct with most points you made on your review. So allow me to go point by point so I can explain my reasoning once again.
On Tali - Yes, I wasn't righting me1 Tali. My mind must have defaulted her towards sassy me2 Tali (Best girl. Fight me coward!). Will replay me1 to get a better feeling for her and will rework previous parts to reflect this.
Second point - Will rework this. Writing is kinda new to me so I'm due to make a mistake or two and more in regard to the interaction between two aliens.
Third point - I don't see willing cooperation as a bad thing per say. But I see where you're coming from so I will add a little bit of arrogance to this Protoss.
Additionally:
A) First time they asked the truth of the temple and his outburst. I'm not sure about other times. Remind me if you would be so kind.
B) I see it as fitting that a person who feels guilty about lying will apologize constantly if he feels he has wronged them (This man got up from a post-apocalyptic wasteland to a galaxy unknown to him, common m8).
And finally, I don't see this as trashing. I have a thick skin and in my honest opinion this is the kind of reviews a writer should be subjected to as a way to improve.
See ya.
Edit - One moar