The Year of the Revolution III The Ripening of the Fruit

by ontzilore

How a single act of a single person can determine those of an entire generation. What would have become of the fate of Severus Snape, of Hogwarts', of the entire Wizarding World's, if he had decided to make a simple timid gesture in a direction that no one suspected could have such consequences? This story is part of a series, but the first part can be read independently.

12. Evening

Evening

Sev went to the kitchen with his Mum.

"Severus, I only have this to cook Muggle-style, what was left over when your father left, since I was thinking of cooking with magic I didn't buy enough to do anything else."

Spaghetti, tomato sauce, some vegetables and a couple of cans of tuna. "Great, I love it. At school we never eat pasta, and I have already had meat and salad at noon. Let me cut the vegetables, I have acquired Lily's talent for preparing the ingredients."

While he cut into perfect squares, Eileen took out a pot, filled it with water, and put it on the fire. They were talking, Sev told her that he had fallen in love with Lily before he met her, when he was spying on her in the park.

"I already knew it, son, I always knew it, from the way you looked at her, you treated her and talked about her. And I always had the hope that she would reciprocate you, she was much less mature than you, and the affection she showed you was spontaneous but childish, she didn't realize what you felt, much deeper but that you didn't show her."

"Yeah, that was my mistake for a long time, but a timid attempt was enough for her to realize it." He told her about the attempted kiss under the beech tree.

"Oh…! And she laughed…" Eileen said.

"Yes, but not mockingly, she got nervous, she didn't expect it, I should have spoke to her. And then instead of get it clear, I started to distance myself."

"I already realized, she came looking for you and you didn't let her enter."

"Today she told me that she had a terrible time, that she thought of me all the time, and that when she decided to talk to me, she couldn't do it because my father was there," Sev said.

Eileen snorted, tormented. "My fault again…"

"Don't torture yourself, Mum, it served to her to clarify what she felt. She has told me that that day she realized that she was in love with me."

"Yeah… but if you could have seen each other before going back to school…"

"Yes, it was a serious mistake," Sev said. "Because it was on the Express, when my housemates saw us together, that they began to threaten her more and I decided to get away from her to protect her. All upside down." My favorite phrase.

As they cooked and then ate dinner he went on to tell her the rest of their story, except, of course, the huge row they had, which he would be ashamed of and regret as long as he lived, and his subsequent depression.

Her mother was amazed. "Was she sneaking after you into the dungeons...? You spent months looking for those berries and then waiting for them to taste more intense, what patience... Buddies in Potions... Tell me how you conjured the Fidelius... You are teaching her Dueling, it seems essential to me in the situation that is coming... You kissed for the first time under the Red Moon! That must have some meaning... And in the Astronomy Tower, it was my favorite place in the castle... That friend of her who is helping you was one of those who attacked you! Are you sure he's trustworthy...? An invisibility cloak! How is it…? That is very rare, they are usually demiguise hair. What is the owner's last name?"

"Potter," Sev replied. I'm going to throw up my dinner.

"Pure blood. And his mother's?"

I don't know nor I care.Why the hell would she want to know so much about that jerk? "I don't know."

"The Potters are from Godric's Hollow," his mother said. "They could be descendants of the Peverells, whose male line died out."

What do I care?

"Doesn't that last name ring a bell?" Eileen asked.

How stubborn. "Yes, but I don't care."

"Well, you should care, they were the brothers from the tale of Beedle the Bard, 'The Deathly Hallows'."

Rays! Sev's eyes widened. "The Cloak of Invisibility... the third one…"

"They're real…" his Mum told him confidentially. "Maybe that boy doesn't even know it."

Potter's bloody cloak is one of the Deathly Hallows… in the hands of such a jerk.I have to convince Remus to steal it.Luckily he doesn't possess the Elder Wand. "Surely not, he is totally stupid. Who will have the Wand? I hope it doesn't fall into the wrong hands."

"When I was at school it was rumored that Grindelwald possessed it, but nobody paid attention because they believed it was a legend."

She already knows, she's playing guessing games, Sev thought. "The dark wizard that Dumbledore defeated in '45?"

His mother nodded, her eyes widening.

"It's Dumbledore's wand!" They both exclaimed at the same time.

"Uf…! Good thing..." Eileen said.

"Of course, it's very strange, with those knots. Now I understand his power."

"Yes, yes, it always caught my attention. It is better that this is not disclosed, they could murder him to take it from him."

"You're right, I won't tell," Sev said.

And she's giving me the chance to talk about how she shouldn't see Dumbledore after I've told her about Druid Magic. But better when we talk about the Defense book.

"Maybe he doesn't know. You have to notify him," his mother said.

How innocent is she.If it were up to her, she would put her life in his hands. "Well, Mum, if we have deduced in three minutes that the Hallows are real and the owners of two of them... how can the old man not know, who is over ninety years old and it has been in his possession for thirty?"

"Sure, you are right. Besides, it's better that he doesn't find out that Potter has the Cloak. The legend also says that the owner of all three will be the Lord of Death. He might be tempted."

Indeed. He nodded vehemently. "I'm sure of it. Dumbledore is not as trustworthy as you think."

"Well, it's a relief that he has it these days."

I don't know... I'm going to have to set the record straight for her. "We only miss the Resurrection Stone."

"Yeah... But that was of little use, you know the story," she said. "Well, let's clear the table and continue talking. I'll wash the dishes tomorrow before I go, I don't want you to go to bed late, you have to be fresh for tomorrow."

Ugh… it's due a delicate conversation with Mum, what a shame. But I'm sure she's going to help me, we've just reached the key point of the story.

Eileen continued to talk informally as they cleared the table and made trips to the kitchen. "Then you began to meet at night, the time for lovers... I see that your girl is very passionate, she not only loves you, she also desires you, and I am not surprised at all, because you are very attractive in every way, also physically, and that is very important to keep a relationship alive. I've noticed that you're taking better care of yourself, you're not so thin anymore and you're neater, but since you gave the growth spurt you don't walk straight, you'll have back problems if you don't correct it."

"Yeah… Lily always tells me that I don't look like I really am when I'm dress, and that when I fight, I look like someone else."

"Do you see? Well, you know how to do it. Don't shrink, keep your back straight and head high, proud of who you are, show what you're worth inside on the outside. If you value yourself, others will too, and admiration is an essential part of love. It is important so that the initial passion is not lost."

Admirable, advice for life that is worth for love. And she says it all, without putting me in a bind.

Eileen sat at the table, not the couch, but on the side he had been on. She does it so that I sit next to her and not in front of her, so that she doesn't look at my face and embarrass me. "I think that we are not lacking either of these things," Sev said.

"I already realize… But excesses are also dangerous, burning stages too quickly."

In her snakelike way she's asking me how far we've come. "I think we have that under control. The first night I had to stop her, but then she understood and now she lets herself go."

"Ugh… the normal thing is that the opposite happens," his mother said. "It's harder for you to control yourself than it is for her, and you should let her know about it."

"I've learned to do it myself."

"I can imagine it, but you shouldn't carry that weight by yourself. She also has to learn to contain her impulses so that you can stop holding back and fully enjoy yourself without fear of going too far."

Eileen was silent. She waits for me to talk. "Yeah… I think that for the few times we've seen each other we've gone too fast, but that's precisely why. Since we don't have contact more than one night a week, we are both eager. We don't spend all our time like this either, we do many other things, but maybe too much."

"It is a problem, not having a common day-to-day. Building a relationship based on physical contact is very unsound. Although for you it is different, because you have been friends for many years and you already know each other very well."

"We have been writing to each other every day until we have managed to project our thoughts, and we talk like this whenever we can."

"Yeah... but that's not enough," his Mum said. "Human warmth without more is necessary, like holding hands, hugging, caressing, sleeping together without expecting anything else. Take advantage of this week to cultivate that aspect, like when you were just friends. And dedicate a night that you spend at school just to that, even if it is a small sacrifice, and sleep together for a while, holding each other, there is no better feeling than waking up feeling the warmth of the other person's body."

Wow... just now that we're going to stop meeting. "She asked me the first night and I thought it was better to make the most of the time," he said, sad.

His mother looked at him. "Normal, having so little... It's very difficult, son, what you're doing. It is like a very delicate plant that you can take very little care of."

I wanted her to talk to me about sex and she is doing it about feelings. She expects me to speak, but I can't think of what to say.

At last she continued, "If you had continued to have contact outside of those nights, everything would be different. Your essential relationship would be coexistence, and carnal an incentive, but not the main thing. That runs out fast if you don't cultivate everything else."

They were silent for a while, Eileen looked at him with a tender smile and caressed the back of his neck. "Only I speak, and maybe you want to ask me something but you don't dare."

"The truth is that I did want to ask you things, but I have realized that they are of no importance compared to what you are telling me."

"I can imagine what you are talking about, but in this matter you must let yourself be carried away by your instinct and your intuition. Each person and each couple is different. You have to take time to get to know each other, be delicate and patient and never force things. That's why I told you before that Lily should also help you to feel free to feel. It seems to me that you dedicate much more time to her than she does to you, and it seems logical to me that you do so because women have a harder time coming. But that is not so important, the time that you have left over should be dedicated to loving you in other ways."

I remember how she made me feel the night she healed my scars, without any need to go all the way, and something like this has never happened again, Sev thought. "I understand what you're saying. Look what she did to me one night." He showed her his back. Mum knows them very well. He looked at her again. She feels guilty. "Do not torment yourself, Mum, that was the least of it. The important thing was that it served her as an excuse for…" He told her in detail how she tricked him into letting her heal him, and how he felt.

"Sure, that's what I was referring to. She knows how to do it, you just have to ask her. Don't feel selfish, she will also feel very good if you express how she makes you feel. You have many injuries, Severus, largely my fault, I have neglected you so much and it is a little too late for me to remedy it, you must let yourself be healed by her." Eileen's eyes were misty.

Sev hugged her. "Don't torture yourself, Mum, come on, hold me tight. It's all over, now I'm another. I have love, I have friends and I have you." They clung to each other. Eileen sitting, Sev crouched at her height, she crying, and he warming her just like that.

By now I have understood that with a single paragraph of a letter, she has thought that Lily's love for me may be based excessively on physical attraction and the pleasure I give her, and may become a mere passing whim she will get tired of if she doesn't come to love me as deeply as I love her.But I know she does, I have the proof of the berries.

So when she recovered, he also spoke to her about feelings, about the perseverance and patience that Lily was showing in the face of the difficult situation in which they found themselves, like the fact that she was never the one who proposed the dates, about her discretion in accepting that he couldn't reveal all his secrets and her constant care for his well-being.

His Mum listened to him attentively, this time without interrupting him, until he concluded, "So I am sure that she also loves me deeply, even though she gives more importance to the physical than I do, and in fact, she is transmitting her way of being to me, she teaches me how to open up to others, and it has been thanks to her advice that I now have friends and hope to get out of the mess I've gotten us both into."

She waited a few seconds in case he continued speaking, and when he didn't, she told him, "You're right, honey, I think so too. She has also acquired your qualities, patience, discretion, concern for you to be well. It's very reassuring to know, but it remains to be seen if she'll endure the situation you find yourself in long enough. Continue to give her what she asks for, with your limits, of course. Otherwise, she might be disappointed by the sacrifice she's making waiting for you."

And now she's going to have to wait for me for more than two months and she still doesn't know it.

"But also demand what you need, that disinterested acceptance that she gave you that night," Eileen continued. "I am sure that she will understand perfectly and she will be willing to reciprocate the attention that you show her."

I am absolutely sure that it will be like that, because she always insists on giving me back everything I give her. But of course, as I offer her pleasure, she returns the same, and although I don't dislike it at all, it's true that she hasn't made me feel like that time again.

And thinking about acceptance, correspondence and difference in needs, I am going to tell her something else, I can reveal it to Mum with absolute safety, since I have to convince her not to see Dumbledore, this will be one more motivation not to do it. I will unload a great weight that I carry, although I will not tell her her name.

"Do you remember that I told you about a friend I have at home, the one who is instructing me in Mental Arts?" he asked.

"Yes of course."

"Well, it is not a he, but a she."

And once again, without his mother interrupting him, but this time listening with a somewhat astonished expression, he told her everything about Lauren, everything.

From the time she sat down with him in Potions class, to the little scene she pulled on him and the subsequent approach of her with almost blind trust in him. The risk she was putting her own family at, the immediate connection between them, and his discovery that she loved him without confessing it. The intimacy that had been created, his doubts and his own feelings towards her, which he had to stop by having an urgent meeting with Lily.

The night of the fir tree, when they finally confessed their feelings for each other and his confirmation through the berries of the Lover's Flavour that he loved them both equally ever since.

And that despite the fact that she knew that he loved her too, she continued to respect him to the fullest, settling for their friendship, which she valued greatly, and never demanding anything from him that he didn't offer her.

When he finished, his Mum asked him, "And what do you feel for her now?"

"I just told you, the berries taste to both equally, and so intensely that they almost hurt, they correspond to me too. I am hopelessly in love with both."

"A divided heart."

"I don't feel like that, I'm just capable of loving them both," Sev replied.

"A pure-blood, in love with a halfblood since she was a child, despite her prejudices and not receiving anything from you. Putting her entire family at risk for you and only your company being enough for her in return. Doesn't that sound like someone?"

"Yes, myself for Lily for many years."

"Yeah... but even more so, because you did receive affection from Lily," Eileen said. "That girl knows you and loves you deeply in a totally selfless way. Haven't you considered that you would be better off with her?"

"Of course I have."

"Fortunate, and at the same time, quite the opposite. If we lived in another type of society, without the prevailing Christian morality, which we wizards adopted to adapt, you could have both, and I'm sure you would know how to handle the situation. But in the environment we live in, that's impossible to bring to light. I think your friend would accept it, but Lily wouldn't, you couldn't tell her."

"No, I couldn't. When the Potions' thing happened she got really jealous," he said.

"If we were Muggles maybe it would be different. They are living a revolution about that, you know, free love."

"Yeah… First they stole it from us and now they recover it for themselves, after centuries."

"You could take your friend as a lover, but you both would hurt each other, her because she would fall in love even more and she would constantly fear losing you, and you because you would have another secret to keep from Lily. You have to choose, although I think you already have," his mother said.

"Yes, but the truth is that I had to force myself to it."

"What a contradiction, not being able to simply share all the love you have to give. At least it's worth it to know that Lily is not the only person you can love and be fully reciprocated, as you have believed for so many years. If she failed you, you would not lack love, either from that girl or from any other, because you are exceptional, and now that you have learned to give yourself, you would made fall in love with you any woman you set your mind to. And that's fine, because you shouldn't revolve around anyone like a planet without light, you should be a bright star that also illuminates the path of others, as they are doing with you. Your destiny is to be light, and not darkness."

And to think that less than a year ago I was convinced of the opposite, he thought.

"Keep being close with your friend but without encouraging her, rather help her to open up and find the love in someone else," Eileen continued. "Maybe one of your new friends will know how to keep her secret if he fall in love with her. She is also luminous, and she is condemning herself to revolve around you."

"I'm already on it, Mum. Indeed, she was with one of my friends who still loves her, and she him. He already knows from my hints that I am in contact with her, and we have both made every effort to teach him Occlumency so that her secret is not discovered if they can get together, but she had to wait to consult with her parents whether to reveal it to him. She's going to do it now, that she's home for the holidays, but I suspect she doesn't love him as much as she does me."

"Of course, she loves you since she was little, and finally, in a certain way, she has you. How generous you are, being willing to give her up."

"I just want her to have the happiness that I can't give her," Sev said.

"Maybe Lily would understand that one day."

Hopefully. "But I can't even think of how to bring the issue. She considers her a 'femme fatale'."

"Ugh... I'm very sorry, son, but I can't think of what I can advise you on that matter, I've never seen myself in a situation like this," his Mum said. "Let things flow, you still have a lot to mature. You have adult concerns when you have barely stopped being children."

"Of course, Mum, we are on the verge of a war, we have had to grow up suddenly. And I take this opportunity to tell you something very important, under no circumstances should you see Dumbledore after everything I've told you. Although I haven't told you her name, he would read you, figure out who she is, and try to recruit her as a spy."

"Of course, Severus. Rest assured that he won't know anything from me."

They were silent for a while.

"Do you want to tell me something else? Any other admirers?" Eileen asked.

"Not that I know."

"Thank goodness… you're becoming a heartbreaker. Well, if you don't have anything else to tell me, go study for a while or sleep, because tomorrow you'll have to get up early."

Rays!The Defense book, I had completely forgotten about it, Sev thought. "Yes, I wanted to tell you something else if it's not too late for you."

"You know that I sleep little, honey, tell me what you want."

Sev got up to fetch the book, which was still in his bag on the floor next to the couch, where he had left it when he came home. "Look what we found looking for books on Druid Magic." He was showing it to her. "Do you know it?"

"The General Compendium of Defense! Of course! Remember that I also went to school in a dark time, and at that time it was given a lot of importance. We Slytherins against the ideology of blood purity also worried about it, although we never got to organize like you. Back in the day I learned it by heart."

Sev was smiling mysteriously, he was already sitting next to her.

"What amuses you?" Eileen asked.

"I also know all of it, it has been my bedside book since first year."

"Then why did you buy it? For Lily?"

"Partly yes, but that was not the main reason." He opened the cover and pointed out the year of publication and the seal of the Hogwarts Library.

"Oh! It's the same book I studied! Now I understand why you bought it," Eileen was already leafing through the index. "Because of this," she pointed out the appendices very excited.

"Spot on."

"It's wonderful, when I left Hogwarts I wanted to buy it and they had removed all this from the new edition."

"Yeah... the usual…" Sev said.

His mother was already opening it at the end. "This is going to come in very handy as a guide, 'The Magic of Love'. And not just in relationship, you've already seen the caption, 'The Most Powerful Weapon Against the Dark Arts'."

"Yeah... but it's not complete. It comes from an ancient source." He took it from her hands to look in the bibliography for the title of the runic book.

But Eileen was already answering, "It's in the Restricted Section, and also the one on Druid Magic. You just have to ask permission to check it out."

I already know that they are not there and why… and nobody is going to give us permission. But he asked her, "Did you consult them?"

"I tried, but at that time there was a lot of mistrust towards Slytherin."

"Like now."

"Yeah, but Lily could check them out," Eileen said.

How innocent is she. "They aren't there, Mum. I would have seen them."

"Oh…! They would be removed at the same time as the appendages."

Obviously. "We have also obtained the Druid Magic one," Sev said.

"Oh really?"

"Yes, but we are also interested in the other one. Do you think it is at Hogwarts?"

"Ugh... I have no idea, but Dumbledore must know, he was already a teacher by then, and he succeeded Dippet, the Headmaster," said his mother.

"Mum," vehemently. "Always the damn Dumbledore. If he didn't put them within reach again, it's because he doesn't want this magic to be known. It is too powerful and whoever is aware of it is in danger. Not even he should know that we have discovered it, at least for the moment, for something all the witches who are in on the secret have learned to occlude. Except you."

Eileen looked at him, understanding. "You're right, son. I'm too trusting and he has a lot of power, he manipulates people."

"He does. So give me a hand. Who else do you think can know where it is if he has it hidden?"

"Are you going to read them?"

"Of course," he replied.

"Severus, don't take any chances with all the mess you're in right now."

"Precisely this is what can get me out of trouble."

"You plan to fight, don't you?" his mother asked.

"Yes, Mum, the Guard is not a game. You should understand if you too were interested in Defense in a dark age. But the more power and information I gather until it's my turn, the less likely I'll be a mere Auror and I'll be safer, more valuable in the rear. Do I have to explain more?"

"No, no… I'll tell you Slughorn was also teaching at the time and was always close to Dumbledore. And McGonagall must also know, the Deputy, and who in theory will succeed him."

"Well, at McGonagall I was arriving too, but maybe she occludes. And the librarian?" Sev asked.

"I don't know Severus, I don't think they would trust the librarian with a secret like that."

"I'm going to review all the teachers, to see if any of them were there at that time." He did it. No one else matched except Binns, the ghost who taught History of Magic.

"I'm sorry, son. But there is another person who was also very close to Dumbledore who was a student at the time, and he certainly does not occlude."

"Who?"

"Hagrid."

"Hagrid sure doesn't know anything, he's incapable of keeping a secret," he said.

"Yeah…"

"Well, then we have two candidates, let's see if there is any luck. I'm so sorry I had to get like this, Mum, I wouldn't have told you about all this yet, now I've really worried you."

"It's okay, son. What you have told me before, you have suddenly become an adult and you know very well what you want and how to get it. That gives me confidence."

"Well, let's relax for a while taking a look at the book and so you advise me, I think we have skipped many steps," Sev said leafing through to the beginning of the chapter of 'The Magic of Love'.

They began to skim through the appendix together, Eileen commenting on it. "You already did all this when you were friends... You already practice Projection and in a certain way you also rehearsed Tracking when you looked for each other in the park or the river without having appointed before, and I'm sure you also did that at school... In a certain way you are respecting the deadlines by meeting so little and going slowly... This part you will already know how you handle it... I think you have done it very well by pure intuition, and this is only a guide, just like Druid Magic, it admits alterations and improvisation. It is not a strict magic, but arisen from emotions, and it can adapt to different situations depending on the people who cultivate it. So don't worry about not having followed the order to the letter or having skipped some steps. Do we also look at the Magic of the Moon?"

"Yes, of course."

They read the entire appendix, which was short.

"Have you seen? It was women who ran the societies," she began. "It used to be an elderly witch who presided over it and transmitted her knowledge to the younger ones, who succeeded her when she died. At that time, it was not yet known how children were engendered and women were considered goddesses for being capable of generating life. In addition, the female cycle is closely related to the lunar phases, hence the name. Since men did not believe they had any right over their children, knowledge and material possessions were inherited through the mother, and the father figure was not the father, but the woman's brother. The women were the ones who chose a partner, and monogamy occurred very rarely. It was maintained even after the mystery of life was discovered, men were already acting as fathers of their children but they did not consider them or their women as possessions, the women were still the heads of the family and could change partners or have several at one time throughout their life. The men could also do it if they were chosen by several women, hence what I explained to you before. Muggles lost all of this with the advent of agriculture. There were already valuable possessions to bequeathed to the children, and the men wanted to know for sure that they were the fathers. So they subjected women to monogamy to ensure that their possessions were inherited by their descendants. But we sorcerers kept it as long as we could because the power of this magic is based on the creation of ties between the entire clanship and the lack of interest in material goods, which in prehistoric societies were shared by everyone."

"Like the hippie communes that arose among Muggles."

"Yes, but I don't think it will last, it doesn't have a deep base. They are young people who are experimenting, and society is not going to let them go too far. If they only had the magic to create the bonds and defend themselves… I think it will be a passing fad."

"Druid Magic also comes in the book. Why didn't you tell me about it the other day?" Sev asked.

Eileen found the page and they skimmed through it. "Because you already had much more information than what comes here, it only talks about its sacred places and times of the year without even specifying how the rituals were performed or the magic that was transmitted with them. It doesn't even include the lunar calendar, the one you found must be based on the Druid Magic book you found today. Do you have it here?"

"No, Lily has kept it."

"Well, then bring it to me one of these days. You have already seen that in the other two there are no spells or rituals either, only a brief description. I think the author was forced to only mention their existence, but she had the intelligence to include the sources for those who wanted to continue investigating. It has been a blessing that you found the book and that you have obtained the Druid Magic one. Come on, to bed, you have to get up early tomorrow to wash up before going to Lily's house, I bought you a good Muggle shampoo."

I'm not telling her I bought it too because I'm going to make her feel guilty again, he thought. "Thanks, Mum, keep the book and enjoy it for a while until you go to bed."

They embraced. "Rest well, son."

"And you."

Sev fell asleep thinking, How wise Mum is in the aspect of love and relationships, now I understand many things without her telling me.My parents must have loved each other deeply before I was born, after all they spent more than ten years alone, and maybe they still do, when I'm not around and Mum doesn't use magic.

For once I am able to understand her. Maybe I'll dare to ask her, but I have to do it very tactfully so as not to hurt her or make her feel guilty.