*Where is everyone?* John asked the chorus as he, Calara, and Lirrash approached the Invictus.
*We're all in the Gym,* Alyssa answered readily. *Jonah and I are both working together to help him deadlift 5 tons, and Jade is working on her shapeshifting.*
John took a second to marvel that the fact his Patriarch and Matriarch could work together to lift 10k Imperial pounds didn't even faze him at this point, so extraordinary their lives had become. *How's your practice going?* he checked with his Nymph lover.
*I've made a discovery,* Jade reported faithfully as soon as he asked. *The speed I can change between forms is a question of how familiar and comfortable I am with that form. Turning into my Tiger shape takes less than 2 seconds if I push, but trying the new form of a Dolphin in the pool took over 10. And the amount of mass I can psychically generate is in direct correlation to my power stores. The largest thing I can turn into is an adult Bear. When I tried for an Elephant, I hit a wall and couldn't even shift. Right now I'm experimenting with turning into smaller shapes to see how tightly I can compress myself.*
*I'm proud of you, honey,* John thought with love. *And we know I can expand your reserves everytime I give you a dose. Once I'm done with putting Lirrash through the Change, remind me to give you at least 1 load a day. You and your shapeshifting just might be our secret weapon on the crew. I can't wait for the look on the bad guys' faces when you turn into Godzilla before their very eyes.*
*Godzilla?* she asked, not understanding the reference.
*Sea monster from old Terran films, part of the kaiju genre,* John explained. *Basically a giant lizard on two legs who could walk through buildings without noticing they got in its way and breath lightning at its enemies.*
*So a kind of dragon?* Jade thought, and John could already sense her determination to research kaiju to actually morph into a similar shape as soon as she could possibly manage.
*Close enough. But walk before you run, honey. Just focus on getting as close to instant shifting for about 3 of your preferred forms as you can before you focus on expanding your repertoire,* John instructed gently.
*As you will, John,* he heard her say with the sensation of a salute.
John refocused on his surroundings as he, Calara, and Lirrash neared the airlock. It was already open, allowing the Ashanath engineers easy access in and out of the ship apart from the open Cargo Bay, Hangar Bay, and what entrances they had simply cut open in the outside of the ship. "Pardon us," John said to a team who seemed to be installing something just past the inner airlock door.
The diminutive aliens simply nodded and adjusted their positions, entirely focused on their assignment from Dana, John's Chief Engineer. John and his two female companions passed the airlock and saw that the elevator was entirely occupied by another team of engineers. Shrugging, John went for the stairwell. He went up the simple climb 2 decks to Deck 7, moderating his pace to account for Lirrash and her shorter legs. John stepped out and went towards the double doors leading into the room dedicated to exercise, both physical and psychic, built into the ship.
John's eyes swept the room as they entered. As reported, Jonah and Alyssa were collaborating on lifting a barbell loaded with artificial gravity weights totalling 5 tons. John noted they were using the specially modified barbell designed to withstand such extreme weights that Dana had squeezed into her production schedule on the trip to Ashana between making the Railguns and equipping frames. Jade, in the form of a green Hawk, was flying a simple circuit around the ceiling of the large room.
John turned to Lirrash. *So… this is the awkward part,* John thought with a small chuckle. The simple and laughably strange fact was that joining a Progenitor's psychic network required ingestion of said Progenitor's semen. Why it worked that way, John had no earthly clue, but that was the reality of his species.
*Any awkwardness is on your part, John. I am fully committed to a life at your side as Ambassador for my people and one of your future wives. Without cheapening the intimacy of the act we are about to perform, let's just 'get on with it', shall we?* Lirrash sent back with a wry humor to her mind-voice.
Calara chuckled and went to warm up for kata on the training mats, patting John's bum as she passed. Left alone with a fragile illusion of privacy with the Ashanath destined to be his newest Angel, John reached for his belt and undid his pants. He dropped trou before Lirrash, revealing his massive Progenitor cock, already starting to awaken as if sensing it would soon be put to use.
*Whenever you're ready,* John projected at her.
With little ado, Lirrash reached out a dainty hand to tilt the weighty erection upward. Given their height difference, rather than get on her knees she simply bent forward and took his cock into her open mouth.
John couldn't help a moan, despite how used he was getting to blowjobs from new partners. Jade, though he'd never admit it outside the privacy of his thoughts, was the best at oral sex out of all his Angels. Each one had a unique style that he fully appreciated. But there was something to his first Ashanath blowjob that would forever sear itself in John's memory. It was probably the lack of any teeth that allowed Lirrash to form the perfect seal around his dick without any fear of injury. As she moved up and down, taking him down to the root each time, John found himself wondering why he'd always been adverse to Ashanath, never finding them attractive or seeing them as sexual beings. Clearly, their women at least had talents unique in the galaxy for pleasing a man.
In a (relative for a marathon man like John) short time, John reached the point of no return and erupted with a steady geyser of rich spunk down Lirrash's throat. She maintained constant suction, milking the fleshy spigot for every drop. When John was lightheaded and seeing stars, the former High Councilor pulled back and let the wilting organ drop from her mouth.
"Damn," John panted. He grinned down at Lirrash, noting she looked almost comically rounded as his half gallon of semen inflated her belly. "That was a wonderful way to welcome you to the family," John joked as he reached down to make himself decent again.
*You're lucky I'm so well-trained in defensive Telepathy, or I'd have reacted like your other Angels besides Jade,* Lirrash replied, resting one hand on her extremely convex middle. *I don't believe you were doing it consciously, but your mind was trying to overwhelm my mind-shield the entire duration of the fellatio. Based on your own experience, I believe it to be a passive side-effect of ingesting your precum. In that case, I'll likely build a tolerance and not have to concentrate so hard on not turning into a drone on autopilot each time I service you.*
John frowned. *Hmm, that makes sense. Given what we know about your typical Progenitor, it's probably a built-in measure to keep each new Thrall compliant while he works on adding her to his network. But that suggests a level of intelligent design I simply can't pass off as natural evolution. The more I learn about them and what they can do, the more I think Progenitors were specifically made to do the things they do. With what Ularean told us about the Devourer, my leading theory is that thing somehow possessed someone in the Material to genetically engineer them and start this cycle of constant galactic war.*
*The Ashanath aware of our true origins and the knowledge Mael'nerak shared with our ancestors share that theory. Another is that the Progenitors started as a simple psychic humanoid species, one member dived too deep into the Astral and encountered the Devourer, and that first Progenitor became its slave and altered himself to the current template. Sadly, it may be impossible to ever get a definitive answer,* Lirrash told him.
John nodded in acknowledgment. Remembering the purpose of the blowjob in the first place, John reached out with his mind and made a Connection with Lirrash.
Lirrash gave a full body shudder. *Oh! Oh, my. That was… stimulating.*
*Are you okay?!* John asked in alarm, worried he'd caused her pain.
*Always so quick to assume the worst,* Lirrash sighed mentally. *I need to change my undergarments, is what I meant. Feeling your overwhelming male energy invade my every cell in an instant provoked a rather pleasurable consequence.*
John took a second to process her words, then gave a self-conscious chuckle. *Oh. Well, at least we're even now.*
*Keeping score in a relationship is unhealthy,* Lirrash replied primly. *Feel no need to count orgasms as currency or transactions, John. It will inevitably lead to an imbalance in our interpersonal dynamic.*
*Good point,* John agreed. As with all his bad habits, he was aware it wasn't as simple as just deciding to stop and that was that. But now he was aware of it, he'd strive to improve. That was just the way he was.
Lirrash's large black eyes narrowed slightly. To John's intense surprise, he felt his Connection to her and the constant exchange of psychic energy significantly widen. *That's better,* she thought with satisfaction.
*What did you do?* John asked in amazement.
*The Connection and the surge of energy as you formed the bond through the Astral between us knocked my energy nexuses out of alignment. I took a moment to realign them, and now they're at peak performance. Any improvement will come from either of us increasing our energy stores, improving how open and aligned our nexuses are, or perhaps by you altering the very nature of the Connection at some point,* Lirrash explained.
*What're energy nexuses?* John asked, befuddled.
Lirrash's mind-voice gave a rueful chuckle. *You really are a rank beginner at psionics, aren't you? The fact you're so powerful regardless is truly terrifying. I'm almost afraid to start teaching you, your potential might be limitless between your ability to expand your network and getting your personal energy production and transmission to optimal levels.*
*Well, as long as I stay one of the good guys, more power can only be a good thing, right?* John asked with humor, though a rather large part of him shared Lirrash's reservations at him getting even more energy than he currently had.
*You fear yourself, because on some level you do not trust yourself,* Lirrash stated more than she asked, picking up on everything through their Telepathic link.
*Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Isn't that how it goes? The idea that I'm some kind of immortal psychic god in the flesh scares me shitless. It'd be so easy to forget my morals and start acting however I wanted with impunity,* John confessed.
*I cannot guarantee that is impossible, for almost everything is possible. At the moment, you would never do such a thing. But the mind, heart, and spirit, which we collectively refer to as one's personality, is fluid. You just might turn into such a man at some point. All you can do is stay who you are right now, or try to become even better, in the present moment. Time is an illusion. The past is a dream, the future a vague imagination. All any of us have is the current moment. If you want to stay good, then be good for this day, this hour, this second if necessary. That's all any sapient being can do, John,* Lirrash lectured gently.
John had to admit that Lirrash made a lot of sense. *Even more good advice. You're very wise, Lirrash.*
*I have wisdom, hard-earned from life experience and the teachings of my instructors that I've done my very best to apply properly. Whether it is great or small in the grand scheme is up to interpretation,* Lirrash thought, truly humble.
John grinned. He went to one knee and cupped her face with one hand while the other cupped her rounded tummy. He leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to his Ashanath Angel's lips. *You're a good woman, Lirrash, and you'll make me a better man. I feel it in my bones. Thank you for joining my family,* he projected, meaning every word.
Lirrash managed a small smile with her lips as her eyes softened, which was the Ashanath equivalent of beaming like the sun. *I feel the exact same way towards you, John. Now, since you expressed an interest in energy nexuses, let's begin your first lesson in psionics.*
John straightened and led Lirrash towards the training mats. He picked a spot a fair distance away from where Calara was warming up and sat down cross-legged after helping Lirrash sit down. She seemed to prefer seiza position herself.
*Now, here are the basics,* Lirrash began as they both got comfortable. *Every life form, from the smallest microbe to the largest megafauna, possesses at least a little psychic energy. Certain species, through triple-helix DNA or technology or some other means, can use that energy to affect the world around them in the form of psionics. Through millennia of study and self-exploration, the Ashanath have developed methods to maximize one's ability to produce psychic energy, the efficient use of that energy, and one's general sensitivity to outside energy. You follow?*
*Seems simple enough,* John nodded, keeping up easily.
*Good. Now, psychic energy doesn't just sit or float inside one's physical form. It flows and circulates within your body much as blood is pumped through your arteries, veins, and capillaries. Nor is all psychic energy of the same type. The Ashanath have identified within themselves 7 different points where psychic energy of specific frequencies forms and is then sent throughout your energy system,* Lirrash told John.
John frowned in thought. *Wait… that sounds familiar. On ancient Terra and to this day, certain schools of meditation hold that there exist 7 'chakras' within the human body, each responsible for different aspects of your personal energy.*
*As I said, every being regardless of whether they can utilize psionics possesses psychic energy. Is it so difficult to imagine that ancient Terrans discovered their personal energy systems and developed schools of thought on how to strengthen and cultivate said energy, even if they lacked the means to properly use it?* Lirrash asked rhetorically.
*Fair point,* John nodded after thinking it over. *I never paid attention to chakra theory, thought it was all hokum. But I've struggled with the idea of magic powers and spiritual energy my entire life. Even discovering I was psychic didn't completely cure me of my skepticism. Suppose it's coming back to bite me in the ass. Well, no going back. The past is the past. In the here and now, I'd very much like to learn more about energy nexuses, Lirrash.*
*Then we shall proceed,* Lirrash nodded. *As I said, there exist 7 energy nexuses inside each Ashanath, and presumably each Terran and possibly even each Progenitor. I shall teach you what I know, but if at any point you feel or discover something that contradicts my teachings, feel free to share. There's no rule saying every sapient being's energy system is identical. Still, for whatever it's worth, I shall share the Ashanath's teachings with you. To begin, close your eyes and center yourself.*
John closed his eyes, blocking out the outside world. He began to focus on his breath, falling into a familiar cadence. In the nose for 4 beats, hold for 4 beats, out the mouth for 4 beats, and hold for 4 beats before repeating. Thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations continued to pop up in his awareness. Rather than ignoring or trying to block them out, he simply did his best to remain detached from them. He imagined that each distraction was merely a leaf floating on a river or a car passing by a street before him. He could observe and notice each one without holding onto or chasing after them. Anytime he slipped, he noticed and tried to return to his center without judgment or beating himself up. He'd been practicing meditation for decades at this point, and in a matter of minutes he was in what he considered a meditative state.
*Good,* John heard Lirrash project softly into his mind. *Now, turn your attention to the base of your spine, to your tailbone, to the point where your perineum is closest to the floor or just beneath your anal opening. Are you there? Good. Now imagine you find there a ball of red light. Do you see it?*
John didn't even formulate his thoughts into language, merely sending back agreement. He was amazed he'd been blind to it until now, it seemed so obvious. There it was, at the very bottom of his torso. A scarlet sun, like a red dwarf star, constantly radiating light.
*This is the Root Nexus,* Lirrash explained. *It represents the most basic functions of life, of survival, of the unconscious mind. It is the source of all desire, of the need for food, water, light, heat, shelter. It is the very foundation of your energy system, the cornerstone upon which everything above it is built. While every nexus serves a vital function, keeping the Root Nexus open and in alignment with the rest of your energy system is considered top priority for every psionicist among my people.*
John sent a sense of understanding back to Lirrash, maintaining his meditative state even as he absorbed this new information.
*For now, merely familiarize yourself with this nexus, with its location, with its warm red light, and know that it will always be there. It is part of you, the earth from which the seed of your energy is planted. There is a reason we named it the Root Nexus. It is believed this nexus is where all energy begins production, where you absorb ambient energy from the Astral and Material to claim and shape into your own.* Lirrash explained. *Now, knowing it will not leave even if you turn away, turn your attention upwards, a few inches up your spine, to a point halfway between your navel and your groin. Are you there? Good. Now imagine you find there a ball of orange light. Do you see it?*
*It's huge,* John thought back. Comparing his Root Nexus to this one was like comparing a spark to a bonfire. It was massive, radiating with exponentially more light and energy than the previous ball of energy.
*Not surprising. This is the Sacral Nexus. It represents sexual energy and really all physical sensation and emotion. This nexus is associated with creativity, procreation, and lust. If the Root Nexus is where desire is born, then the Sacral Nexus is where it is expressed. Many believe this is where the sense of self, of ego, of personal identity stems from. Whereas the Root Nexus is the seed, think of the Sacral Nexus as the sprout that remains under the surface, burrowing through the earth towards the sky. The Sacral Nexus, this orb of orange light and energy, is the source of all drives, urges, the need to act to meet your needs born from the Root Nexus. Happiness, sadness, anger, fear, attraction, disgust, it all comes from here,* Lirrash told him. *Now, knowing it will not leave even if you turn away, turn your attention upwards, a few inches up your spine, to your solar plexus, the point where your ribcage meets the top of your abdomen. Are you there? Good. Now imagine you find there a ball of yellow light. Do you see it?*
John sent agreement, looking in his mind's eye at the sphere of yellow energy. It gleamed in a somehow cheerful way, with warmth and light as familiar as the light of Sol on Terra.
*This is the Solar Nexus. It represents confidence, personal power, and trust. Some associate it with the adrenal glands and digestive system. It is the 'engine' of the energy system. The Root Nexus collects energy, the Sacral Nexus shapes energy, and then the Solar Nexus activates that energy. While other nexuses tend to center or focus on specific parts of your body, the energy of the Solar Nexus radiates throughout your body. It is where the fuel of your thoughts, your motivation and determination, is born. Without it, you would never get anything done.* Lirrash let John process that for a few seconds. *Now, knowing it will not leave even if you turn away, turn your attention upwards, a few inches up your spine, to the center of your chest. Are you there? Good. Now imagine you find there a ball of green light. Do you see it?*
John couldn't stop a grin. *This is where love comes from, isn't it?* he sent across his link with Lirrash. Just looking at the green ball inside, he was hit with feelings of affection, devotion, and idle thoughts of his Angels.
*Indeed. This is the Heart Nexus. It represents love, all kinds of love, from the abstract love for peace to the love for one's spouse and children. This is where energy starts to leave the body, unconsciously shared with the universe and specifically with all the people, places, things, and ideas we care about. It matters not if you care only a tiny whit or more than your own life. The only thing the Heart Nexus does not try to reach out and touch are those things you don't know or care for on any level. So keep in mind, apathy is the opposite of love, not hate. Hate is still an intense feeling, a connection between you and something outside yourself. When we are young, before anything begins to clog or close off this nexus, we love truly and completely. The pure love of a child is born from a clean and open Heart Nexus,* Lirrash taught John. *Now, knowing it will not leave even if you turn away, turn your attention upwards, a few inches up your spine, to the inside of your throat. Are you there? Good. Now imagine you find there a ball of sky blue light. Do you see it?*
John sent a mental nod.
*This is the Throat Nexus. It represents truth, communication, the ability to transmit your thoughts and ideas to others and receive theirs in turn. It is associated with speech, of course, but also with hearing, Telepathy, and even body language. While the Heart Nexus is where emotion for things outside us is born, the Throat Nexus is where understanding begins. Think of it as the filter through which all energy both exiting and entering your body is colored. Those with a damaged or closed Throat Nexus are prone to autism, compulsive lying, and delusional thinking. Remember that each nexus is built on all those below it. A person without confidence from the Solar Nexus or love from the Heart Nexus will have poor communication both to and from others through the Throat Nexus,* Lirrash lectured. *Now, knowing it will not leave even if you turn away, turn your attention upwards, up your spine and into your skull, to the point between your eyebrows. Are you there? Good. Now imagine you find there a ball of indigo light. Do you see it?*
John projected that he had, oddly absorbed with this particular nexus. He had the sense that just as he was looking at the indigo star inside, it was somehow looking right back at him.
*This is the Sight Nexus, sometimes referred to as the 'third eye'. It represents insight, intuition, and self-awareness. This is where many Ashanath believe sentience transcends to sapience, where the energy of your body and mind takes on a life of its own. Not to say that other species don't have a Sight Nexus, but that it is perhaps not as large or open to a point that allows higher intelligence. As both its names imply, this is where the energy needed to 'see' the world around us comes from. Not just our surroundings, but memories of the past as well as predictions of the future, along with abstract concepts such as mathematics and language. While the Root Nexus is where everything starts, many still consider the Sight Nexus to be the most important nexus of all 7.*
John waited patiently for Lirrash to move on to the last nexus. After a minute, he ventured his mind out to her. *And the seventh one, above the Sight Nexus?*
*A word of warning beforehand,* Lirrash thought back, her tone cautious. *While every Ashanath possesses a Crown Nexus, less than half manage to even open it within their natural lifetime, let alone train and practice with it. It is the most difficult to sense, the most difficult to align and keep open, but also the most powerful. Many psionicists refer to opening the Crown Nexus for the first time as an 'awakening', a life-changing experience they remember for the rest of their lives. I find myself hesitating to even teach you about this one, given your sheer power already. Even over the course of this meditation, just by making you aware of each nexus, I have witnessed them become more open, aligned, and larger. Your energy system is both stronger and more efficient just by becoming aware the nexuses even exist. Please forgive me, but I'm genuinely scared of what might happen if you open your Crown Nexus and so I find myself reluctant to teach you about it.*
John couldn't stop a gulp of apprehension. Still, he never left a pursuit unfinished once he started. *Lirrash, I would never ask you to do something you're not comfortable with. But if I'm to be best suited to protect both this family and your species from every other Progenitor in the galaxy, I need to be as prepared as possible. Please, can you tell me what you know about the Crown Nexus?* He'd deliberately phrased it as a question so the obedience compulsion of the Connection wouldn't take effect.
After a few seconds, John got the sense of a nod from his link with Lirrash. *Observe your Sight Nexus. Now, knowing it will not leave even if you turn away, turn your attention upwards, to the very top of your skull, to the point that is still open at birth or the 'soft spot', your crown. Are you there? Good. Now imagine you see there a ball of violet light. Do you see it?*
John frowned. *I don't see it. But it's like when you look at a moon when it's new. I can tell something's there, but it's just black or invisible.*
*The Crown Nexus represents your connection to the rest of the universe and beyond, to something greater than yourself, to a higher power. In a word, it represents spirituality. Not just awareness of a deity or the abstract concept of something more, that stems from the Sight Nexus. The Crown Nexus can only be opened when one truly accepts, into the very core of their being, the reality that they are not the greatest being in existence and someone or something else is. It requires a certain surrender, true humility, accepting that you are not the center of the universe. That however great or small your power, you are but a piece of something larger than yourself. This Higher Power can be anything. For myself, it was the universe itself. My Crown Nexus opened when I accepted in my heart that I am just a collection of energy and matter no more important than any other portion of this vast, infinite, majestic thing that is the sum of creation. For my instructor, it was the Ashanath as a whole, the truth that he was but a cog in a vast machine working to the betterment of our whole civilization. Other awakenings were triggered by the power of the scientific method, the thought of one's ancestors and how they were the product of all who came before them, worship of a particular god in their personal religion, the list goes on. The simplest way I can put it is that the Crown Nexus will open only when a person realizes, from the highest to lowest level, it's not about them. It's about something more important than them. Do you follow, John?*
John opened his eyes, breaking his meditative state. He saw Lirrash sitting patiently, looking at him with unblinking black eyes. Her stomach had shrunk noticeably, suggesting that he'd spent longer in his state than he had subjectively experienced just as he had when working on his telepathic defenses with Alyssa. But he didn't focus on that. *Lirrash… I can't. I can't let go and let God, or whatever you want to call it. I can't just open myself and leave myself completely vulnerable on nothing but blind faith. I'm sorry, but I just can't.*
Lirrash tilted your head. *You already have. Or do you not recall how you Bonded with each of your lovers?*
*That was different. I trusted them not to hurt me, balls to bones trust. You're asking me to do that for something that isn't even concrete, something real,* John argued.
*I did not say that. I said you had to open yourself to a Higher Power, whatever it may be. I know Ashanath who opened their Crown Nexus by surrendering to the power of the planet they lived on or the star they orbited. Some surrender to the power of the fundamental forces of the universe. These are very real things. Of course, others opened the Crown Nexus through worship of Mael'nerak himself, some to the power of Death and the idea that everything is impermanent, I even know one particularly eccentric psionicist who had his awakening when he saw a particularly beautiful butterfly and was struck by the very idea of beauty and nature. I repeat, it can be anything, so long as it is something greater than you are and you allow that truth into your very being,* Lirrash countered patiently.
John frowned, then sighed and shook his head. *Look, we made a lot of progress today. Can we just call it a day and focus on my Crown Nexus later?* John knew he was deflecting and avoiding, and he knew Lirrash and every other Angel knew, but he just wasn't ready to tackle his issues with spirituality and faith then and there.
*Very well,* Lirrash nodded, her mind-voice free of any judgment, neither condemning or condoning this choice. *I believe now would be an appropriate time to make lunch for the crew.*
John got up, ignoring the pins and needles in his legs from sitting still so long, and helped Lirrash to her own feet. He looked around and realized that his other Angels, bar Dana, had been patiently waiting for him and Lirrash to finish. Sharing a weak smile with his lovers, John led them all out the Gym and up the stairs to Deck 2 and the Lounge with the attached Kitchen.
Dana walked in just as they were plating the Chicken Florentine with Linguine John and his capable assistants had whipped up. An Ashanath in a silvery jumpsuit was gliding alongside her. *Hey, everyone! This is Zanthus, my new Assistant Engineer! Welcome him to the family, he's fully read-in and consenting to join the crew and go through the Change!* The redhead's mind-voice was positively bubbly.
John focused on the male Ashanath engineer, reaching out with Telepathy. *Are you sure about this, Zanthus? There's no going back from joining my network and the Change. This is a big choice to make, possibly the biggest in your life.*
*I am aware, JohnBlake, and I make it with full confidence that this will be the best decision of my life,* John heard a surprisingly deep mind-voice reply. Zanthus turned his head to look up at Dana. *The goddess DanaBlake is a genius without parallel. I would have happily abandoned Ashana to follow her to the ends of the universe and even partially aid her in her contributions to science for that alone. The fact that you are a Progenitor, like my Creator, and my addition to your crew will aid in the protection of the Collective and the Galactic League as a whole is an even stronger incentive.* At this point, John saw Zanthus' cheeks visibly darken. *Also, in all honesty, I would crawl over a mile of crushed glass to join in coitus with DanaBlake or any of your females. Fellating you, which will result in becoming bisexual and thus expanding my preferences, is no great price to pay in exchange.*
John decided that it was Zanthus' decision in the end, and walked over to his newest recruit. 5 minutes later, a rotund Zanthus was mindlessly rubbing his expanded middle. Apparently, he didn't have a strong enough mind-shield to counteract John's pre. *Start lunch without me, I'll just go tuck him in,* John sent to the chorus before doing just that. Once he was sure a sleeping Zanthus was comfortable in their shared bed, John returned to the Lounge and took his place at the head of the table. He looked at Lirrash, seated next to Dana, and blinked. *Are you already a bit taller?* he asked in disbelief.
*In the interest of finishing the Change as soon as possible, both so I can start proper combat training and to avoid awkward questions with Calara's family should we make the reunion, I decided to supplement the process with my own energy. I am also guiding your own energy to be more efficient about the transformation,* the Ashanath woman explained.
John focused and sent an active stream of energy across his Connection to Lirrash. *This help?*
Lirrash blinked rapidly. *Significantly,* she replied, her mind-voice a bit breathless. *By the Creator, you're feeding me more energy than I could produce in total in a month and I know it's a casual effort on your part. The Ashanath like to think we're rather accomplished psychics, compared to the Bolons and other triple-helix species in the Galactic League. Meeting a Progenitor, a very young one with a relatively tiny network at that, makes it clear that Mael'nerak barely allowed us a drop compared to what he was born with himself.*
*Still, while John has power out the wazoo, you and the Ashanath certainly have more technical know-how and figured out how to use what powers you do have to great effect,* Alyssa supplied with a supportive grin at her newest 'sister' in the family. *So, how'd you get so good at psionics?*
Lirrash regained her composure and focused on Alyssa, projecting her mind-voice to be heard by everyone at the table as well. *When I finished my secondary education, I decided to attend a psionic-focused retreat before attending university. I was an attentive student with a strong work ethic, and I found myself quite passionate about the subject the more I learned about it. In fact, I almost decided upon completion to transfer to the Psionic Seminary for my higher education. But my father was rather strict and a politician himself, and I did not want to disappoint him. I ultimately followed in his footsteps, though I kept psionic research and practice as a favorite hobby. I also attend the same retreat every year when my schedule is free.*
*Well, good thing you did end up on the High Council, or you never would have met John and come into our lives,* Jonah thought to her with a warm smile. *Funny how things work out, isn't it?*
*Indeed,* Lirrash nodded with a mental chuckle.
John turned to Dana. *How long will all the upgrades take? When will the Invictus be ready to start hunting down the Drakkar?*
Dana frowned. *We could be ready soon as the morning of the day after tomorrow. Any delay will be over me cracking the damnable formula for the supermaterial for our armor. I might have bit off more than I can chew on this one. Making Etherite crystals, Onyxium, and Titanium bind into a single compound is proving a bitch and a half. I keep running simulations, adding every permutation of every known element to help stabilize the mix, and I keep coming up short. It may not be possible, and it burns like vinegar admitting there's a problem I can't solve.*
John got up and went around the table to hug his redheaded Angel from behind. *Don't doubt yourself. I have faith in you. If anyone in the whole universe can figure it out, it's you. Believe you can solve it, and you'll be that much more likely to do it. A defeatist attitude will stop you before you start. You will find the formula, if it's physically possible, and if you can't then I'll rest assured that it's truly impossible. You could never let us down, Dana.*
Dana blinked away tears and reached up to grasp onto John's big, warm arms. *Thanks, John, I needed that.* Then her head straightened explosively, almost hitting John in the nose hard enough to break it. *Oh, fuck, that could be it!* As John let go in surprise, Dana scarfed down the rest of her food and ran out the door before she'd even finished swallowing.
Chuckling at his Chief Engineer's antics, John went back to his seat. He noticed Calara giving him an odd look. *What is it?* he projected.
*Nothing. Just reflecting how those who give the best advice often have a hard time taking it,* Calara replied. *This is rhetorical, don't answer right away, really chew on it: why can you have faith in Dana and not yourself? Just food for thought, John.*
John blinked, and then frowned in contemplation as he refocused on his plate. By the time they all finished the delicious meal, he had an answer. *I don't believe in myself, because I've made more mistakes than not. Granted that I probably have a few blindspots, but in my view I genuinely think I have more bad karma than good. Just looking at the odds, I'm more likely to fuck something up than not. That's why, Calara.*
The others looked at him with expressions ranging from exasperated to concerned. Jade was the first to get up and move. She walked to the back of John's chair and tilted his head back so he was looking up into her emerald eyes. *If only you would see yourself as we do,* she thought softly. *It's impossible for me to be objective, of course; you're my Master, after all. But remember that I chose you. I look at you, and I see the greatest man I've ever met or even heard of. Your goodness, your kindness, your strength, your love, your light, they all shine brighter than a supernova. I see it, and so do the rest of us. The only one who can't seem to is yourself.*
John gulped. *If you knew some of the things I've done, the failures that are entirely my fault, you wouldn't think I was perfect, so deserving of your love,* he thought back to his Nymph.
*Remember, John, that we Bonded. I know you. I may not know all the details yet, but I got to feel every single facet of your mind touch mine. And it was glorious. I won't deny there was darkness there, but everyone has darkness. It's not what's inside you that truly matters, John, but how you choose to act on it. You've made mistakes, and you'll make them in the future. But on the whole, you are a good man, the best I can imagine. And if you won't have faith in yourself, know that I and all the rest of your Angels will always have faith in you,* Jade told him, her eyes boring into his so he could see she meant every word with her very soul.
John closed his eyes, which didn't stop the tears. Jade's words, the heartfelt emotion he knew beyond any doubt was real due to their Connection, seemed to pierce into his core. Years of old hurts, shame, regret, self-loathing, welled up inside him. And like a fire through tinder, he felt them be consumed by the truth of Jade's loving words. He wasn't unlovable. He was, in fact, loved from the bottom of the hearts of 5 wonderful people, his Angels. The ashes and ghosts of all that pain and negativity would forever linger in his soul. But for the first time in his life, John let go of the thought that he was 'bad'. His mother hadn't abandoned him because of anything about him. That was on her. John, himself, was not at fault. He may not be perfect, he may have flaws, and that was okay. No one was perfect, everyone had flaws. At his heart, though, he finally believed that he just might be worthy of good things.
He opened his eyes, and stared right up into Jade's eyes. *Ok. I'll believe in myself. Because you do, you all do, because I love you and there must be a reason you all love me back. So long as I trust in and act from that love, then nothing could go wrong.*
Like an explosion, John felt his Crown Nexus open, a purple sun at the very peak of his skull. His Connections to his Angels, up till then vague concepts in his mind, became as tangible and solid as titanium cable. They reached out, tying him to the people he loved and trusted most in all the universe, who loved and trusted him in turn. Even when he doubted himself, and he was sure he would, he'd just have to remind himself of that pure, powerful love and it would steer him back on the right course. He knew it in every cell.
The moment, possibly the biggest one of his lifetime, was broken for John by Jonah's hysterical laughter. He turned from Jade's eyes, shining with pride, towards his XO. *What's so funny?* he asked the octogenarian who looked like a college student.
*I'm… sorry! It's just… so fucking hilarious! Your Higher Power is yourself!* Jonah finally managed, even his mind-voice breathless with humor.
John gave his second-in-command a flat stare. *Actually, my Higher Power is the love we share. There's a reason you all care for me so deeply, and the fact I can feel it back speaks to how strong it is. I truly thought I was irredeemable due to my mother's abandonment and all my fuck ups. Anything that can change that is definitely greater than myself.*
*That's even better, though! You worship the power of love! Next thing you'll be smoking pot and chewing shrooms and protesting the war with the Kintark even as you expand the harem to the size of a small town! You're the ultimate hippie! Fuck, I'm blacking out, this is just too funny!* Jonah actually fell out of his chair, his laughing got so intense.
*Remind me why I love you again,* John grumbled, but he couldn't stop his own smile. He had to admit, it was pretty hilarious that of all the ways to open his Crown Nexus, it would be love itself as a force for positive change that was the key to that particular lock. Not the Abrahamic God or the Spirit of the Universe or some core aspect of existence. Just love… though there was really no 'just' about it, but still.
John's attention was recaptured by a polite knock on his mind-shield from Lirrash. *While I am quite pleased that you managed to open your Crown Nexus so soon after learning of its very existence, there is still work to be done. Opening all 7 nexuses is the easy part. Keeping them open, in proper alignment, and exercising each one specifically will be a constant struggle from now until the moment you pass into the void. Are you prepared to start your journey towards mastery of psychic ability, John?*
John answered with a confident smirk. *Let's get started.*