Dance With the Devil

DxD Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own none of the series involved.

Well, seems the roasting was pretty popular. If I wanted Ranma to take everything from Issei, I would have just had Issei be replaced by Ranma. So Issei's core harem is safe.

After introductions had been made, Ranma looked at Rias and then at Sona and sighed. "So... Did I break some rule that I don't know about or are you mad about what happened to Issei in class?"

Rias blinked and looked at Issei, who had some sort of gloomy aura around him while tears fell out of his eyes. "What happened?" She looked back at Ranma with a perplexed look on her face. "What did you do to him?"

"As for the rules," Sona spoke up, "as far as I know you didn't break any rules, or at least none that came up."

"I guess I can find out later," Rias cleared her throat, "the reason we called you here, specifically, well I guess it would be foolish to ask if you believe in the supernatural, wouldn't it?"

"Next you're going to tell me that you're a bunch of Vampires or something, right?" Ranma's small smirk slowly died off as Rias smirked right back at him. "Really?"

"Well, none of us in this room are Vampires, if that's what you're worried about, but none of us are humans." Rias rested her chin on her folded hand in front of her while her elbows rested on her desk. "But we are Devils."

"All of you?" Ranma blinked, getting a nod from the room. "If the Devil Hunters and Magical Girls that I've met knew about this city..."

"Wait," Sona looked at him sharply as she stood up, "are any of these magical girls about my height with long black hair in twin pigtails and purple eyes?"

"The only ones with twin pigtails were little girls about as tall as Koneko over there." Lilith pointed out and blinked as Sona nodded, sat down and sighed in relief. "Something wrong?"

"Nothing, just glad it wasn't who I thought."

Both Ranma and Lilith looked at each other in confusion.

"Anyway, the reason we called you here is because we were curious as to what a couple of Demons are doing here."

"Technically," Lilith held up a finger and then gestured to Ranma, "Master here is actually a Hanyou."

Seeing the looks of surprise, Ranma shook his head. "One of my distant ancestors was a Demon apparently, if not for..." He trailed off as Issei was giving him a jealous look. "What?"

"It's so unfair! You have a cute girl that calls you Master?!" Issei threw his head back and clutched his head. "Why couldn't it have been me to get a cute girl as a Servant, then I could do all sorts of fun perverted things with her!"

"I'm sure you imagine too much, Issei..." Asia tried to calm him down. "I'm sure their relationship isn't..."

"Oh yeah..." Lilith started giggling and grinning before grabbing onto Ranma. "Just last night, Master was playing with me until I passed out." She pouted at that. "Seriously, it stings my pride to know that my Master can screw my brains out until I pass out."

The room was utterly silent as everyone stared at Lilith and Ranma in shock.

"...He's a bigger perv than our hornball is." Koneko muttered, hardly able to comprehend it. "And she's worse."

"TEACH ME!" Both Issei and Saji cried as they jumped in front of Ranma and Lilith, bowing and scraping.

"I thought you would be upset about what happened in class?" Ranma looked at Issei in confusion.

"How can I hope to become a Harem King if I can't screw their brains out like you can?! Teach me how!"

"I just want to know how you can do that! I want to make sure that my future wife is fully satisfied." Saji sobbed and Ranma rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment.

"At least this one's motives are more pure." Lilith muttered as she looked at Saji. "Sure, I'll tell you." The two looked up, their eyes sparkling and Lilith grinned at them. "Well, first, you need to have extremely good stamina, so work hard on that first. Secondly, it helps to be multi-orgasmic, that's hard for anyone, though I suspect there's a few Devils who might know a spell or two." The two were nodding rapidly. "And lastly," she put her hands on their chins, lifting their heads up slowly, "find yourselves a succubus that will screw you for four years straight."

"Well... I think we know what kind of Demon she is." Akeno spoke up after a bit as the group's collective shock started to dissipate.

"...Four years!?" gasped Saji.

"Where can I find one?" demanded Issei. "Do they have a call center in Hell!?"

"I don't recall being asked, as your King, if you could go find a succubus," Rias grumbled.

"Usually, they find you," Lilith offered. "I found Master."

"You tried to eat me," Ranma grumbled.

"And then we ate each other," she purred back.

Ranma just rubbed his head and was thankful no one was looking at him directly.

Several minutes and serious reprimands later...

Lilith pouted and rubbed her ear. "You didn't need to pull on my ear so hard, Master."

"And I told you to keep yourself in check." He supposed he was asking too much out of Lilith some days. "Now that you know that she's a succubus, what will you do?"

Twitching as she looked at Issei, who was looking down at the ground, Rias took a deep breath and tried to get things under order again. "That depends, why would a succubus be here instead of Makai?"

"Makai is boring." Lilith nearly laughed at the looks she was getting. "Plus Master was born on Earth, so that's why I'm here. But the biggest thing is, I'm chasing down an anomaly."

"Oh?"

"In Makai there's a living armor that's called Bishamon's Armor. It's cursed, causing it to consume and control whomever puts it on. The person is driven to slaughter as many people as possible before the armor is defeated."

"And that armor is here?" Rias asked, glancing at Sona, whom she was certain was going to do something to try and track this thing.

"Coming to this city, yes. But that's not the problem." Ranma shook his head. "The thing currently seems to be hunting for something rather than slaughtering as many people as it could."

"Isn't that a good thing then?" Kiba asked, getting a shake from Lilith. "You'd rather have it slaughtering people?"

"As bad as it sounds, yes, because that would be normal for it. If it's hunting something instead of people, that means it's likely being controlled by someone."

"And believe me when I say that it's not a bad fighter," Ranma mentally grimaced as he thought back to what happened in the museum. "I really should have studied up on how to exorcise possessed items."

"Thank you for the warning," Sona nodded to them, "what does this armor look like?"

"A red samurai armor with two floating spirits around the shoulders. If you find it, be careful, if you can destroy it, I won't complain." Lilith answered her. "That's really the only reason we're here," she suddenly smiled at them, "so if that's all, I'd like to go home. No offense, but there's stuff we need to do there."

"Of course." Rias smiled at her. The two bowed and left the room. "Well, that was... Interesting."

"They're more perverted than the hornball... They're more perverted than the hornball..." Koneko kept muttering over and over again, shock still evident all over her face. "They're more perverted than the hornball..."

"Koneko?" Akeno shook the young girl's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!" Everyone stared as Koneko yelled out in a rare outburst as she grabbed her head and screamed.

"I think she's broken." Akeno giggled softly as Rias got up and walked over to Koneko and hugged the girl, trying to calm her down. "Then again, this might be an improvement."

(-)

Meanwhile...

Sirzechs, one of the four Devil Kings, was looking at the reports he had been handed. "So you're certain this isn't an attack by either the Fallen Angels or Heaven?"

The woman in front of him, a silver-haired beauty wearing a maid outfit bowed to him, "no, Lord Sirzechs. None of us can figure out what caused the sudden snowfall to occur."

"At least clean-up went fairly fast with the Phenix clan helping out." Sirzechs rubbed his eyes. "Do you think it could be the Norse?"

"Unlikely, while Loki would be one to do something like that, Odin and the rest would rather do a direct attack if they decided to attack."

"I thought so, thank you, Grayfia." He smiled at her as she bowed. "Is that all?"

"No, Riser Phenix has been... Rather upset that he was used as a glorified snow removal service."

"Let me guess, he wants to cement the marriage now?" when Grayfia nodded, he sighed and shook his head. "I know my little sister would never agree to it. I know that I can use my authority to push off the engagement for a bit longer but..."

"Indeed, you are Lord Lucifer, you should not be using your authority frivolously." Grayfia nodded to him. "I do have an idea, however."

"Oh?"

"Riser Phenix takes great pride in the fact that he's a rising star among the younger Devils in the ratings games. Perhaps he'll agree to one?"

"Hmm, my sister recently did use up all her pawns, that gives her the bare minimum to participate." Standing up, Sirzechs walked over to the window and scratched his chin. "Grayfia, do you think he'd agree to a ratings game?"

"Perhaps, especially if he thought that winning would mean he would get your sister's hand in marriage."

"But she would be at a serious disadvantage." Sirzechs turned and smiled. "However, I'm sure that she could over-come it. Riser wouldn't want to hurt her too much."

"I shall relay the message then, Mi'lord." In a flash of light she was gone.

Sighing and shaking his head, Sirzechs looked out the window and wondered if he could convince his parents to end the engagement if Rias agreed to find someone to marry by the time she was twenty. "Just because I'm a Devil King doesn't mean that you have to force this on Rias." His own son could have taken over as the next leader if it came down to it, though he was pretty young. 'It's not like either of my parents are going to die anytime soon anyway.'

(-)

Meanwhile...

"Nyu?" Nuku blinked as she heard a knocking at the door of the remodeled warehouse. Opening it up, she saw a package on the ground in front of the door. "What's this?" She picked it up and looked at the sticker on the top. "No return address, but what is this?" She shook it and nodded as something heavy inside bounced around. "Well, I'm not sure what this is." Shrugging, she brought it inside and ran to the stairs before throwing the box up the stairs. "Okay, so when Ranma gets back, he can just open it up there."

She looked up as the door opened and Mittelt walked in. "HI!"

The blonde twitched as she walked in and sat down, sighing heavily.

"Something wrong?"

"Went back to the church that I used to use as a base..." She twitched heavily. "Do you have ANY idea how much it sucks to have the Church try to reject you?!"

"I've never been to church." Nuku answered, smiling brightly, getting a laugh from Mittelt. "Do you want to spar? You seem down."

Mittlet gave her a flat stare. "And get beaten to a pulp by you? You're strength is way too much for me."

"Just because I caused a crater once." Mittelt gave her a flat stare. "Well, I'm not interested in fighting, I wanted to figure out why my skin glows from time to time."

"Huh?" Mittelt blinked as Nuku pulled her long-sleeved shirt off. "Why are you getting naked?!"

"I've got a sports bra on." Nuku blinked in confusion. "Besides, I need to show this off."

"Show what..." Mittelt trailed off as she saw Nuku's skin glow softly as it looked like a pulse of light ran from her shoulders down to her finger tips and she saw similar effects happening across her skin. It looked almost like a tree branch with how the main glowing "artery", though the branches ended in small circles at the ends. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say that I'm actually watching your magic flows in action."

"Really?" Nuku tilted her head in confusion. "I don't know anything about that, I mean, I was a cat."

"Yeah, and this body was originally artificial, so I'm a little out of my league here. Anyway," she touched one of the rings of light on Nuku's arm and she and Nuku stared as it lit up, "what did that feel like?"

"Like... A warm fuzzy blanket covering me."

Mittelt nodded and stepped back. "Okay, close your eyes. Remember that feeling, focus on it and... Woah!"

"Huh? What's going on?" Nuku asked, her eyes still closed. She opened them when Mittelt told her to and she stared. "My arm is on fire."

"No, it's surrounded by an orange aura that resembles fire."

"AHHH! MY ARM IS ON FIRE! HELP! I NEED TO PUT IT OUT!" Nuku yelled as she ran around, swinging her arm to try and put the fire out. Mittelt chased after her in a futile attempt to calm her down. "HELP! HELP!"

Mittelt tackled Nuku at the ankles, causing the girl to topple over and land flat on her face. "CALM DOWN! Do you feel pain?!"

"...No."

Mittelt got up and sighed. "Then you're not burning, though I wouldn't want to touch it."

"Huh, why?" Nuku asked as she tried to get up.

Mittelt pointed at her arm. "Because you're burning a hole through the floor."

"AAAAAAAAH! PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!"

Mittelt sighed as she talked Nuku through how to use magic and how she could control it.

After several minutes of working on it, Nuku was smiling widely. "Fire on!" Her arm was surrounded by a flaming aura. "Fire off." The flames dissipated. "That's neat!"

"I wonder..." Mittelt stood up and walked away from her. "I'm going to create a spear of light, okay?" Nuku nodded as Mittelt did so. "Still the same color as before, so I guess I still have all my powers from being a Fallen Angel." She held up her right hand, which had nothing in it. "I wonder what would happen if I created a spear using Devil Powers?" Her eyes widened as a pitch black spear appeared in her right hand. "This is..."

"Neat! A spear of darkness!" Nuku clapped her hands. "So now what?"

"Want to test your new powers and see what they can do?" Mittelt grinned as Nuku formed the flame around her right arm. "Why not the left arm?"

"It doesn't feel the same, so I don't know." Nuku then took a stance with her flaming arm in front of her. "Okay, Mittelt, do what you want to do!"

Pulling her left arm back, she prepared her Spear of Light. "Try to avoid or deflect this, because Light energy from Angels and Fallen Angels is toxic to Devils."

"But I'm a Cyborg."

"That happens to be a Devil." Mittelt said before throwing the pink spear at Nuku, who's pupils shrank before she ducked down and grabbed it out of mid-air.

"Neat! Now I have it!" Suddenly the aura around her arm covered the spear. "Neat! Now I have a flaming spear!" Without warning a second spear, this one of darkness was inches from Nuku's head. At the last moment, Nuku snapped the spear in her hands up and watched as the spear shattered into particles of energy. "What was that for?"

Instead of answering, Mittelt formed another light spear and rushed forward, taking a stab at Nuku's face, who bent out of the way and swung her spear upwards and right through Mittelt's spear, shattering it. In response Mittelt jumped up, created a spear of darkness and tried to dive-bomb the cyborg catgirl.

In response, Nuku swung her spear upwards and the tips of the two weapons clashed, pushing off each other for a moment before Mittelt's spear shattered. Forming her Fallen Angel wings and flying back so she didn't land on the spear, Mittelt was panting and staring in shock. "That... Nuku, I'm going to make one more spear, I want you to block it with your arm that's on fire, okay?"

"Nyu? Okay." Nuku nodded as Mittelt formed a spear of light and launched the pink spear at Nuku, hitting her in the arm and stopping right there. "Huh? Isn't this supposed to hurt?"

Making the spear and her wings disappear, Mittelt shook her head. "Okay, you can stop now." When the aura disappeared Nuku was shocked to see the spear she had been using had disappeared as well. "Okay." Mittelt held up a finger and started walking in circles. "First, even when you were actively using your magic, I couldn't sense it in the slightest," that would be useful, "secondly, that flaming aura, whatever it was, seems to eat magic up."

"So I should feed it? What do flaming auras eat?"

Mittelt sighed, she knew the girl didn't understand certain phrases just yet, and that wasn't her fault. "It's just a saying."

"Oh." Nuku giggled, feeling stupid now. "Is that all?"

"Well, there's a possibility that because I'm a Devil now that my spears of light can't hurt Devils the way they used to," Mittelt brushed that thought away, "the other possibility is that because of that aura you may be the only Devil that doesn't need to worry about Light or most Holy weapons."

"Or maybe because it eats magic it stops magic from getting through to her and causing any damage." A male voice spoke up, and both Nuku and Mittelt turned to see Ranma and Lilith standing there, looking at them in interest. "Spears of Darkness and a flaming aura, huh?"

"How long were you there?" Mittelt asked, wondering why she hadn't sensed them.

"Since you dive-bombed Nuku." Lilith answered. "We just shadow-walked home. By the way, that was really neat."

"Oh, Ranma!" Nuku smiled and pointed up the stairs. "You have a package."

"Huh, I wonder what." Ranma shrugged and walked up the stairs, when he got to the top he saw the package. "Huh, well, I guess..." Opening it up, he looked inside and blinked in shock. "What the hell?"

"Ranma, M'boy!" Happosai jumped out of the box and grinned. "I knew I'd find you in good health!"

"...You mailed yourself to get here?" Ranma asked, disbelief in his voice. "Why didn't you just take a cab?"

"It was cheaper this way." He reached into the box and pulled out a pipe. "And before you ask, I didn't know where Kuoh City was, so I simply found your address from Nabiki, such a good girl, and mailed myself here."

"...How'd you get her to agree?"

"I told her if I was gone then she wouldn't have to worry about her panties going missing." Happosai gave him an innocent look and Ranma just gave him a disgusted one back. "But, seriously, you're my heir, I must make sure that you complete your training."

"And where will you stay?"

"Why, right here! I'm sure you have an extra room."

Ranma gave Happosai a smile as he twitched. "Alright, if you want to stay here, that's fine, but if you go out on panty raids, don't bring them back here."

"But..."

Ranma held up a hand to stop his complaints. "There's at least two groups of Devils in this town, old man, you sure you want to piss off a bunch of Devils?"

Happosai pouted but nodded. "Very well, if I need to go liberate my silky darlings I shall make sure not to bring them back here."

"Good. Another thing is, don't be spying on me, ever, at night if I'm in my room."

"Ah, you want to your alone time with your lovely ladies, I can understand." Happosai nodded in agreement. "Fine, but if that's the case..." He grinned at Ranma, causing the younger martial artist to shiver in fear. "You need to start training your female form."

"...You don't mean in martial arts, do you?"

"Of course not! You need to learn to get over any hangups you have with that form if you want to really advance your abilities."

"I'm not having sex with a guy!" Ranma hissed and Happosai shook his head and sighed.

"Boy, I mean you need to learn that your female side should be explored. Have Lilith help you, she seems willing and able to help you learn." He sighed as Ranma blushed and looked away. "Well, fine. So long as you've got a hang-up on enjoying your female form, you'll always be holding yourself back." Happosai turned to find a room that was open. "Ask yourself this, Ranma, if it came down to it, if it meant defeating a powerful enemy, could you use your female form in a perverted way or not?"

Ranma had nothing to say as Happosai walked off.

(-)

"So..." Ranma began as he looked at the three girls in front of him. "What did we learn?" The three seemed to shrink slightly.

"Never over-charge magic attacks to the point they explode when inside?" Mittelt started.

"Make sure that you can block an over-charged magic attack?" Nuku asked.

"Don't bring up how it's Mittelt's turn to sleep with you tonight when she's over-charging a magic attack?" Lilith finished.

Ranma just twitched as he looked around the training area and saw all the cracks on the floor, the scorch marks and the nearly destroyed walls. "...YOU IDIOTS!"

On the stairs, Happosai nodded as the three girls were forced to lay on chairs with their butts out and winced as Ranma proceeded to spank each of them. "I would think a succubus would like getting spanked." Then again, it looked like Ranma was actually putting some magic into his spanking so that they would actually hurt and not feel good in the slightest.

Oh well, Happosai just sat and enjoyed watching each of the girl's bare butts jiggling from each slap and slowly turning red.

(-)

Issei was riding his bike down the street and wondering why he had to meet with Rias at an abandoned hotel on the outside of the city. "Last I heard it was supposed to be torn down this summer." Rounding the corner, he waved as he saw the others. "Yo! Sorry I'm late."

"It's fine, you were dealing with a client." Rias smiled at him. "Anyway, we've been tasked with dealing with some sort of Devil that's been staying at this hotel for the past couple of days."

"Don't tell me it's another one of those monsters." Issei sighed and looked at Asia, who was looking concerned. "Don't worry, Asia, it'll be fine, we'll protect you."

"With all of us here it shouldn't be too hard." Kiba smiled at the two of them. "Still, it never hurts to be careful."

"Right, well, shall we?" Akeno asked as they opened the door and walked inside.

"Don't you usually wait outside?" Issei asked Rias, who nodded to him.

"Just in case it tries to escape, but I was told this one might be too dangerous if just you, Kiba and Koneko go after it, so Akeno and I are helping out."

Issei nodded and walked inside, mentally preparing for anything.

What he saw was... Not what he was expecting.

"The hell?" Shockingly, it was Asia who muttered those words, not that anyone could blame her. The walls themselves were covered in what looked to be cake frosting.

"So did we walk into a giant cake or something?" Kiba asked, it sure smelled like a delicious cake from the bakery.

A clapping sound from above had the group looking up and they spied a rather skinny person with very long arms and legs standing on top of the ceiling. "My my! To look at my creations and not even try it!" A high pitched voice came as the person skittered across the ceiling and over to the wall. "How rude!"

"Are you the one who did all of this?" Rias asked.

"Hmm, maybe I am? Who can say? I was thinking about adding marshmallows, you think that would get people to enjoy my food?" The skinny person tapped its chin before dropping to the top of the stairwell and walking into the light so the others could see it more clearly. It was wearing a stereotypical chef's outfit, including a fancy hat, but its face was covered with a white jester's mask that was smiling and a star over the right eye. "Or maybe you want to enjoy my food?"

"Sadly, no, we're here to deal with you."

"AWWW!" The being kicked the ground.

"It doesn't look like a rogue Devil." Issei muttered, remembering the last time he had seen one. "Aren't they usually monstrous?"

"Rogue Devil?" That's insulting! I'm an old Devil that was sealed away before the last war ended!" The Devil crossed its arms and huffed. "I recently got out of my prison and thought I'd come to the human world and see what was going on."

"And what reason is that?" Akeno asked while preparing to attack.

"You'll have to catch me to find out!" The Devil bowed.

"Kiba!" Rias called out and the blonde boy nodded while pulling a broadsword out of thin air and disappearing.

"Operation Dessert Storm!" The Devil cried out, laughing as the air was suddenly filled with objects looked like pies that came rushing out at high speeds, smashing into Kiba and causing him to fall down while covering everyone else with them. "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The Devil laughed as it skipped away and up the stairs.

Everyone was silent for a moment, covered in a white, gooey, sticky substance.

Koneko licked her fingers. "Coconut cream." She muttered, at least this enemy had good taste in pies.

"Well, if it's just something like this, it's probably not..." Akeno's words were cut off as hundreds of pounds of regular donuts came flying out of nowhere and burying her in an instant.

"Are you okay?" Asia asked before she was covered in shadow. Looking up, her eyes widened as a humanoid shape came falling down. "EEEK!"

"Asia! Look out!" Issei yelled as he pushed her out of the way, only to get flattened by several hundred pounds of gingerbread man.

"Hold on." Koneko grabbed the thing and flipped it off of Issei. "Are you alive?"

Issei groaned and slowly got up. "Barely."

"Okay, you're fine." Koneko turned to look at the stairs as the others got ready to follow after the Devil.

"And now I see why it was sealed away," Rias muttered. "Akeno, are you alive?"

The donut pile moved and shifted and she mentally sighed in relief as her friend walked out, dusting herself off.

"Well, this is probably the stickiest situation I've ever been in, and not in the fun way either." Akeno groused as she walked up the stairs. "I think our friend needs to be taken care of."

"I agree." Rias nodded as they walked up the stairs.

Only to turn around and run away as giant balls of ice cream came rolling after them.

The group jumped off of the stairs and watched as the ice cream smashed against the door and stopped.

"I'm beginning to dislike him." Koneko muttered and used the railings to climb up the stairs instead of walking on them. "Okay." She kicked a door open and walked inside, followed by Kiba.

"...I never knew marshmallow people could be such graceful dancers." Kiba muttered. When the door closed behind him, he sighed. "Now what?"

The marshmallow people, all of whom looked like giant teddy bears, turned to look at Kiba and Koneko and their eyes glowed red.

Outside of the door, Issei had his Sacred Gear, Boosted Gear, out and was punching the door. "Dang it, it's stuck."

"Sealed by our friend, most likely." Rias muttered as she ordered Issei to step aside. When he did so, she held a hand up to the door and a red and black orb slammed into the door, destroying it in an instant.

"I had forgotten she could do that." Issei muttered to himself, glad that Rias didn't have much of a temper on her, even if her magic looked like her crimson red hair.

"Oh my." Asia gasped as she saw Kiba and Koneko fighting off marshmallow people. Or trying to, as every time the weird things took damage they exploded into a gooey substance.

"Oh hey." Koneko said with disinterest as she threw another marshmallow person into another and grimaced as they ballooned up and exploded, sending her into the wall, covered in more goop. "I'm going to kill that Devil." This sticky stuff was EVERYWHERE! She swore she was feeling it in her underwear even!

"At least these aren't..." Kiba trailed off as people made of ice-cream and waffle cones stood in front of him, all holding candy cane swords. "...This is getting insulting."

Akeno giggled and blasted a few marshmallow people that tried to get close before they exploded, however they still covered her in sticky gooey stuff. "...This is the stickiest party I've ever been in."

"EEEK! HELP!" Asia cried out as she was suddenly lifted up into the air, her arms and legs being spread out. "Eeep! Don't look!" She cried out as she was flipped upside down and her panties were revealed to the whole group.

"...Licorice?" Issei asked as he saw the red ropes pulling her up before letting out a muffled sound as a giant wedding-style cake came out of nowhere and slammed him into the wall, knocking him silly.

"This is the most ridiculous..." Rias couldn't even finish her statement as pretzel sticks came out of nowhere and started slamming her in her face, breasts and other parts of her body at high speeds. "Oww! Sheesh! What are these things made of?!" It didn't hurt that much, but it felt like a bunch of needles poking her all at once.

"Found you." Koneko grumbled as she crawled through the marshmallow goop that was covering the floor and spied the Devil in the back.

"Question!" It pointed at Koneko, who blinked in surprise. "Do you like Bavarian Cream Donuts?"

Koneko nodded, she couldn't help it, they were so tasty!

"Well then!" In its hand a long, thick donuts appeared. "Have a Bavarian Cream Long John!" It squeezed the donut and Koneko was hit with high pressure sugary goodness from the confectionery treat. "With unlimited filling!"

"Whabbuuuurrlgph!" Koneko's eyes widened as the cream filling was not only filling her mouth but going down her throat at high speeds. "GLUB BRLUBGHB FLUB!"

"Have all you want! In fact! Have one directly in your mouth!" The Devil jumped forward and shoved a long john in Koneko's mouth, pinched her nose and squeezed, laughing as the girl started flailing her arms all around. "Eat! Eat! You have to..."

"BOOST!"

"Huh?" The Devil looked up, only to get a metal covered fist to its face and sending it flying across the room. "Owwie! That hurt!" The Devil cried out as its mask cracked and splintered. "You broke my face!"

"Koneko!" Issei pulled the treat out of her mouth and helped her sit up as she coughed. "Hang in there."

"I got a tummy ache..." Koneko looked a bit green and looked down at her slightly bulging belly. "I need to..." She put her hand over her mouth and turned to the side, trying to expel the contents in her stomach.

"That's enough of that." Rias glared at the Devil as she, Kiba, Akeno and Asia, stood behind Issei. "I think it's time for you to go."

"Well, if I gotta go... I'll leave you with a parting gift!"

The next thing the Devil knew, a sword was in its gut as Kiba got there before it could react.

"But... My confections!"

"No." Kiba answered as he cut the Devil into pieces and finished it off with a stab through the mask. "This has been a mess." He muttered and looked around. "And this..."

The building started to shake and Kiba wondered what was going to happen next.

When a whirlpool of strawberry milkshake sucked all of them up, Kiba decided to stop asking questions and just hoped that they all made it out of this alive.

(-)

The doors to the outside of the building suddenly bulged before exploding outwards and dumping more than a liquid ton of ice cream, marshmallows and strawberries onto the street.

"Well..." Rias muttered as she shook her arms and tried to wipe her face off. "I now know what a milkshake feels like."

"Yeah, I don't think I want to eat any sweets for a month after this." Akeno responded and touched her hair, grimacing. "This is going to take forever to clean up."

"I..." Koneko put her hand to her lips and turned to the side, heaving and whimpering. She glanced a look over her shoulder when she felt a hand on her back, expecting Rias.

Seeing Issei look at her in concern was shocking to her, but she didn't have time to contemplate on it before she puked again, trying to empty her stomach out. "Ulllggghhh..."

"I agree." Asia muttered as she pulled the last of the licorice off of her body. "Let us never speak of this again."

Kiba nodded in agreement. "Yes, and I'd like to get cleaned up myself." Kiba almost wished someone had a camera, this would make for a hilarious memory later after they had all gotten cleaned up.

"Agreed." Rias nodded and shook the sticky stuff off of her body.

"There's one thing I got out of this," Akeno suddenly started giggling, getting looks from everyone but Koneko, who was still dry heaving, "now I know what it's like to be in a bukkake porn."

The next thing she knew, Rias, Kiba and Asia all splashed her with the gooey sweet stuff on the ground.

(-)

The next morning, Rias was walking through the front gates and rubbing her eyes. "Could use more sleep."

"Morning," Sona nodded to Rias as she saw her friend, before blinking. "You look horrible."

"Barely got any sleep last night, I was too busy cleaning the white gooey gunk from my hair." Rias yawned, missing the shocked look from Sona.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, had to help wash it out of Asia's hair too. Oh, could you make sure to let Koneko's teachers know that she's not feeling well this morning? I let her stay home."

"...Uh... Okay... I never heard of her getting sick before."

"Just a stomach ache, but I felt that she needed the day off after swallowing so much of that sticky cream last night."

"...What did Issei do to all of you?!" Sona asked in surprise, there was no way that Kiba would do something like that after all.

Rias gave her a tired look and wondered what Issei had to do with this. "He was covered in that stuff too, it took us hours to get clean."

"...I knew he was a hornball, but he can do THAT?" Sona then realized something awful. "You didn't get any in you, did you?"

"No, thankfully, but like I said, Koneko got sick from swallowing too much of it."

"I... See." Sona mentally sighed and figured she would have to chew Issei out for not being gentler with Koneko. Who knew he liked small girls? She thought he was a lover of large breasts personally.

"Yes, thanks, Sona." Rias yawned and rubbed her eyes. "This is going to be a pain in the butt to stay awake during class. Took too damn long to get clean last night."

Sona just shook her head.

(-)

Walking through the front gates ten minutes later, Issei and Asia both looked like death had swarmed over them.

"Next time we have to clean up like that, we use a lake or something." Issei muttered, getting a nod from Asia. "Good, because that was..." He trailed off as two familiar gals, Katase and Murayama, decked out in full Kendo gear and holding Shinais were glaring at him. "Um, girls, what's wrong?"

"Don't you, "what's wrong" to us, you pervert!" Katase yelled. "We heard what you did to Koneko and Rias-onee-sama!"

"Huh?"

"We heard they were covered in sticky white goo last night and that you were there!" Murayama, her brown twin tails bobbing as she yelled at him. "And Koneko swallowed so much that she got sick!"

"Well, yeah, that did happen. You can ask Kiba or Akeno about it too, they were there." Issei wondered why the two suddenly glared even harder at him when he said that. "...What?"

"Akeno-sempai..." Katase, her face turning redder than her lightly colored hair. "And Kiba?"

"YEEK! The rumors of them are true after all!" Murayama screamed before pointing her shinai at Issei. "How dare you do such a thing to our beloved Kiba?!"

"Wha, wha, wha, WHAAAA?!" Issei yelled as he ran away from the suddenly murderous girls. It wasn't just Murayama and Katase, but the hundreds of girls behind them that had appeared and were demanding his blood. "HELP ME!"

Watching the scene unfold, Ranma wondered why he was feeling deja vu while watching the scene. "Hope he's okay." Still, he didn't deserve the threats coming his way. "Now, what to..." He trailed off as an idea came to him.

(-)

As Issei rounded a corner and under a tree, he was screaming and wondering why he was being chased, the next thing he knew he was being pulled upwards and a hand was slapped over his mouth. Panting, he looked at his savior and was shocked to see who it was. 'Ranma? Why would he help me out?'

After the girls ran past under the tree, Ranma let Issei go. "Hey, you okay?"

"I have no idea what I did, but why did you help me?"

Ranma shrugged and jumped down. "Just thought to help. Anyway, you should get down and get to class before they figure out you disappeared."

"R..Right." Issei jumped down and ran off into the building.

'Why did I help him?' Ranma wondered, but shrugged it off, the guy wasn't too bad, even if he was a pervert.

(-)

It was the shortly after noon as Happosai found himself bounding through Kuoh City, enjoying the sights, liberating silky darlings, seeing what passed for entertainment, enjoying free food, liberating more silky darlings and otherwise enjoying the day. Dropping in front of a window to a small apartment, he grinned as he saw the door was open. 'Well, it's like they're inviting me to...' His thoughts trailed off as he heard what sounded like a young girl groaning in extreme discomfort.

Happosai was many things. A lech, a panty thief, an expert martial artist and all around a scummy person.

However, he always had a soft spot for kids. Especially if they could help him with his heists. Putting down his bag, he walked inside and saw a little girl with white hair laying on her bed in nothing but her panties and... "Holy cow!" He cried out in shock as he saw her stomach, which was heavily inflated and swollen. Running over to her, he jumped on the bed, getting her to look at him, pain written all over her face. "What's wrong? Are you pregnant?" He hoped not, if she was, he would find out who would do this to such a young girl and castrate them personally.

She shook her head, her face was pale and she was sweating heavily. "Tummy hurts... It really hurts!" Her stomach gurgled and she arched her back, screaming out in pain. "Help!" Tears were falling out of her eyes as she tried to do something, anything to make the pain go away.

Happosai frowned and turned her onto her side and pressed a point in her back that instantly calmed her down. "There, that should stop the pain for a bit."

"It... I feel like I'm going to explode... I want to throw up, but it won't come up."

"Have you tried..."

"It won't come out that way either!" The girl cried out and gasped as her stomach gurgled again and expanded slightly.

"Oh dear..." Happosai frowned, he could feel it now, the girl may not have been pregnant, but there was something in her that was trying to come out. And from the feel, it was trying to come out through her stomach, which would definitely kill her. Grabbing the girl, he picked her up and ran to the front door and stood her against the frame. "Hold still."

The girl wondered what he was doing and why there was a big sack outside of her apartment, when he pressed several points in her back, along her side and across her heavily swollen belly. The next thing she knew, she felt something from her stomach being forced up. Opening her mouth, she didn't even try to stop it as white liquid came spraying out her mouth and nose, covering the landing in front of her apartment, the sack of stuff and even spilling over the railing and onto the ground outside.

Happosai grimaced as his silky darlings were being ruined, but decided it was a small price to pay as he watched the girl double over and continue to throw up more and more fluid from her stomach. His eyes narrowed as her throat expanded before she let out one last push and a black star-like crystal came flying out of her and bounced into the puddle.

The girl slumped onto her knees and side, coughing and panting, tears falling out of her eyes as she looked up weakly.

"Are you okay now?" Happosai asked and noted that her stomach had flattened down and looked more like what a little girl's belly should look like.

The girl nodded while panting. Turning her head, she gave him a grateful look. "Th...Thank you..."

Happosai nodded and helped the young girl back onto her bed. "Now you just..."

"Well, well... It feels nice to be back! Thanks for hosting me, girlie!"

Happosai spun around to see a really thin person wearing a chef's outfit, including the hat and a jester's mask on its face. "Who are you?"

"OH ho ho ho ho! Who I am isn't important! I have to thank the girlie for hosting me, her power was delicious. It's too bad that I couldn't get more, but them's the brakes." It shrugged and turned to leave. "But, again, thanks, it's a good thing you threw me up, because otherwise I was going to burst out of your stomach and walk out that way."

"S...stop..." The girl coughed, her voice hoarse.

"What? After the amount of your energy I absorbed, I'm feeling invincible! Ahhh! Young Devils are so good. If I had a little more time, I could have..."

The next thing that it knew there was a cracking sound and it went flying across the sky.

"Hmph!" Happosai frowned in annoyance. "Devil or not, you're a little girl and you shouldn't have to deal with it." He turned back and smiled at the girl, who was looking at him in surprise. "Don't worry, I'll take care of it."

Watching the old man leave, Koneko groaned and flopped on the bed before reaching for her cell phone. "R...Rias..." Her fingers shook as she pressed the speed dial and hoped her President would pick up the phone.

(-)

Hearing her phone ring, Rias blushed at the annoyed look the teacher gave her. "I'm sorry, it must be an emergency, no one contacts me at school otherwise."

"Please be quick about it." The teacher sighed as Rias nodded, grabbed her school bag and left the room.

Picking up her phone, Rias frowned in confusion as she saw Koneko's number calling her. "Hello?"

"R...ias..." Koneko's voice was hoarse and shockingly weak.

"Koneko? What's wrong?"

"Back...Help..." The next thing that she heard was a clatter and a beeping sound.

"Koneko? Koneko?" Rias bit her lips and opened the door to the classroom. "I'm sorry, teacher, a family emergency has come up and it needs my immediate attention."

"Very well."

Rias thanked him and took off. As she rounded the corner, she ran into Asia, who was coming out of the bathroom. "Ah, Asia, can you follow me?"

"But I have class and..."

"Koneko needs our help."

Asia said nothing as Rias pulled her into the bathroom and the two disappeared in a flash of red energy.

(-)

Crashing on top of a pizza parlor, the sweets Devil grimaced and stood up. "Since when can humans hit that hard?"

"You would seriously try to kill a young girl?" Happosai said as he landed on the rooftop near him.

"I suspect that a human like you wouldn't understand, but alas, I must... Jellybeans!" The Devil pointed all of its fingers at Happosai and jellybeans flew out at super high speeds. The Devil watched, somewhat shocked, as Happosai avoided the jellybeans that traveled into the rooftop, blowing a small hole in it. "Candy-cane sword!"

Happosai blinked as an actual sword made out of a candy-cane appeared in the the thing's hand. "Feh." Pulling out his pipe, he not only parried the attack, but with a flick of his wrist he sent the Devil flying into the air and onto another building top with a loud thud. "You're over three hundred years too young to defeat me, kiddo." Jumping up after the Devil, he knocked away some licorice vines.

"Grr! Stupid old man! Have a pie!" It threw a custard cream pie at Happosai and watched in dismay as the old man kicked it right back at the Devil. Jumping over the pie, it would have pouted if it had a face. "Why didn't you want the pie?"

When the pie hit a parked car on the street and exploded violently enough to shake the building they were on, Happosai gave it a flat stare.

"Well, okay, some of my stuff explodes, but hey, I'm a Devil!"

"And now you're dead!" Happosai jumped forward to deal with this upstart.

"Um, um, uh... Candy Panties!" The Devil threw a pair out and watched, shocked, as Happosai suddenly stopped trying to kill him and grabbed the panties, rubbing his face on them.

"Oh, such sweet and sticky darlings! I'll have to find a girl who will wear you and then slowly peel..."

The Devil snapped its fingers and the panties exploded, sending Happosai flying.

"Why did you betray me, panties!? Why?!"

(-)

Koneko found herself breathing easier as Asia used her Sacred Gear to heal the young girl.

"Just take it easy, Koneko." Asia smiled at the girl and looked at Rias, who was digging through a large sack they had seen outside the door in disgust. "What's in there?"

"Panties, and some bras and... HEY! These are mine!" Rias pulled out a pair of black and purple underwear and a matching bra. "And I think these are yours, Asia."

"HUH?!" The girl's eyes widened as she saw her panties come out of the bag. "How did they get in there?"

"I don't know, but if there's a panty thief in town, we'll have to deal with that person." It couldn't have been Issei, at least Rias didn't think it could have been him. He wanted bare breasts, not panties!

Koneko wondered if it was the old man that saved her life but decided to not speak up. After all, if it was the old man, he saved her and she wouldn't betray him like that.

After the green light subsided, Koneko sat up and took a deep breath, grateful she wasn't hurting anymore. "Thanks."

"Do you want to take a shower?" Rias asked the young girl. "No, you should take a shower, you're soaked in sweat and whatever you needed to tell me can wait until you're clean."

Koneko nodded and went into the bathroom. Watching her, Asia frowned in worry, hoping that her friend was feeling better now.

"Asia, I'm going to send you back to school now." Rias handed her a piece of paper. "If the teacher gives you any trouble just give them this, it'll let them know that I borrowed you for a few minutes because there was an emergency that needed to be taken care of."

Asia nodded as Rias prepared to teleport her back to the school. "Where will I..."

"You'll end up in front of the old school building. Hurry up from there and get back to class."

"Okay." Asia nodded as she disappeared.

After Asia was gone, Rias wondered just what happened here.

End Chapter 2

This chapter kind of dragged on a bit. Okay, so, first of all, the Sweets Devil was actually something I was going to do as a one-shot DxD fic (no crossover) and I decided instead of using it like that, why not have it here? Of course, when I wrote it, I had only seen season one, so I had to do some adjustments.

Unintentional Evangelion reference here. Atsuko "Nuku Nuku" is voiced by Megami Hayashibara who also voiced Rei Ayanami and Ranma's female form, and she had a spear and was sparring with an Angel.

Poor Issei, suffering from miscommunication between people.