Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to CSI
Chapter 4
"What?" Sara frowns. "Are you serious?" It's definitely not what she was expecting.
"You can't tell me you haven't thought about it," Catherine says.
"Of course I've thought about it," Sara replies, running a hand through her hair. "I think about it every day. But I have a job here. I have a life, friends even. Shelby has friends, a great daycare…"
"You had all that in Vegas before you left too," Catherine counters. "You still have us; you've had us all along."
"I know." Sara slumps back against the couch, staring up at the ceiling. Catherine's right – she has thought about it. Thinks about it all the time. And she might have friends here, close friends, even, but it's not the same. It'll never be the same. "You know, I was expecting you to tell me I had, like, twenty-four hours to call him or you'd tell him when you got back to the lab. That's what I've been preparing myself for mentally all day," she says, rolling her head to the side to be able to look at Catherine.
"I considered it," she admits with a sigh. "But I've been thinking since last night, and… we need to get the team back together. I know your priority is Shelby, it should be, and I respect that, but Gil's one of my closest friends, and he's been in a downward spiral since you left. He needs something – or someone – to break the bad cycle he's in."
Choosing to ignore the last part, Sara focuses on something that's a little easier to wrap her head around. "What do you mean 'get the team back together'? Aren't you and Nick and Warrick still on swing?"
Catherine frowns. "Oh, no. Gil put his foot down after Nick… you know about his kidnapping, right?"
The memory makes Sara shudder. "Yeah. I didn't hear about it until after everything was done, Jill kept me in the dark since, well, not much I could have done from a delivery room."
"Oh, right," Catherine exclaims. "I didn't even think about that. Yesterday was Shelby's birthday, so she was born the day we found him."
"Yeah. Jill – she's my supervisor, and a close friend, she was with me at the hospital – she told me the day after."
"That must have been fun. But probably better than finding out in the middle of labor!"
Sara chuckles. "Yeah, that was Jill's reasoning too. I was pissed at her for about five minutes, but then I realized she was right. So the three of you went back to grave after that?"
"Yeah. And Sofia decided to go back to the police force a while later, so we're back to the original team, except, well, you."
The mention of Sofia Curtis pulls other painful memories to the front of her mind and Sara resolutely pushes them away. "You know I can't just ask to come back, right?"
"I know, but… there's an opening."
Sara frowns. "No, there's not."
"So, you've been checking," Catherine notes with a smirk. "It's not official yet. Dennis is leaving in a couple of weeks; he's gotten a position with the crime lab in Chicago. His wife was transferred there with her company. He only told us about it the day before Nick and I left for the conference, and the position will be out on Monday."
"Dennis is the guy that…" Sara starts.
"Took your place, yeah," Catherine finishes the sentence when she trails off. "Look, you want the truth? I was already going to try to talk you into coming back, even before I found out about Shelby. It just felt like too much of a coincidence that we were coming up here just after finding out about Dennis leaving. And now… I had to at least try, you get that, right?"
"I do, yeah, but… grave shift with a three-year-old? I don't know." Sara shakes her head, but she knows she's just protesting to protest.
"I've thought about that too, and I have a bunch of arguments, if you'll just hear me out," Catherine says with so much enthusiasm Sara has to smile as she nods to her to continue. "OK, first of all, how much time do you get to spend with Shelby now? An hour in the morning, two or three at most when you get home?"
"Something like that," Sara agrees.
"Well, you won't lose any of that time even if you work nights – you'll be able to put her to bed before going into work, and you'll be home by the time she wakes up," Catherine reasons. "Most days, anyway, if she's anything like Lindsey was at that age. I already checked, and unlike San Francisco, Clark County actually offers free childcare for all government employees, even daytime care when the parent works nights – which I would have killed for when Lindsey was little, by the way – so Shelby can continue going to daycare like she does now, and you can sleep while she's there. And I know a great – and cheap – nanny service for when you're at work. It'll cost less than what you're paying for daycare now. And, I mean, we all know how expensive living in San Francisco is…"
Sara just stares for a moment when Catherine finally finishes, overwhelmed and amazed by the amount of thought she has obviously put into this. And just a tiny bit creeped out that she knows how much daycare costs. "That does make a lot of sense," she finally agrees. "And I appreciate all the effort but I just… I don't know." There are other things to think about apart from practicalities, after all. Does she even want to go back?
Oh, don't even try, a little voice somewhere at the back of her mind says immediately.
"You two can stay with me and Lindsey as long as you need, until you find a place of your own. Lindsey will love looking after Shelby if you pay her a little," Catherine wheedles. "That way you can be sure to find a nanny that really works. Lindsey gets out from school in two weeks, and she hasn't been able to find a summer job. You'd be doing her a favor. And me, to be honest."
"How old is Lindsey now?" Sara asks. "Sixteen?"
"Seventeen in a couple of weeks." Catherine gets a nostalgic smile on her face. "She'll be going off to college next year."
"They grow up so fast," Sara notes.
"You just wait," Catherine replies. "So. What do you say?"
"I really have to think about it," Sara hedges. "I can't just make the decision to up and leave like that. I have to make sure it's the right thing for both of us. And just because I apply for the position, it doesn't mean I'll get it. You know Ecklie's never really liked me, and we didn't exactly leave things on the best of terms – though I think approving my transfer might have been the highlight of his year – and I assume he has the last word."
"Don't worry about him," Catherine replies, a hint of steel in her voice. "If you decide this is what you want to do, let me handle Ecklie. Just tell me when you've made up your mind."
"Hey, Jill, you got a minute?" Sara asks, peeking into the dayshift supervisor's, and her friend's, office.
"Sure, what's up?" Jill puts a file she was reading down on the desk.
"I'm thinking about going back to Vegas," Sara starts. Might as well just rip the band aid off.
"Took you long enough," Jill replies with a smile, not missing a beat.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Sara asks, but she can't hide the smile on her own face. Jill knows her too well.
"I had you pegged for leaving within the year when you first got here," Jill says. "We actually had a bet going. Damn, I think Ben won."
"I'm very sorry to hear that," Sara says sarcastically. "I can't believe you were betting on me!"
"Babe, it was only a matter of time," Jill replies. "The pull was too strong; it always has been. Not even you could resist that. And it's time."
"Yeah, I think it is," Sara agrees.
It is time. Time to go back, time to get her life in order. And time to finally tell him. Though she has to admit she's already dreading it.
"Hey Sara, I didn't expect to hear from you so soon," Catherine answers the phone.
Nick looks up from the magazine he's reading.
"Really? That's great!" she exclaims into her cell phone. "Do you want me to tell the guys?"
He frowns. Tell the guys what?
"OK, I won't. They'll find out when they find out. But what about Nick?"
Now he's really intrigued. Why are they talking about him?
"OK, but no one else, got it," Catherine says as their flight is announced over the speakers. "Listen, our flight's boarding so I've got to go, but I'll talk to you in a couple of days, OK? Bye!"
"What was that all about?" he asks as they get up and head for the gate. "And why was my name mentioned?"
"Don't worry, it's something good," she assures him, rummaging through her bag for her boarding pass.
"And…" Nick insists, as Catherine seems to forget the conversation.
"Oh, right." She hands her boarding pass to the woman at the gate. "But you have to promise not to tell anyone, got it? Not even Warrick."
"Cross my heart and hope to die," he makes a mock movement before handing his own boarding pass over.
"Sara's coming back to Vegas," Catherine reveals, turning onto the jetway leading to their plane.
"You're kidding!" Nick exclaims, following closely behind her. "How'd you manage that?"
"A little persuasion," she says mysteriously.
"Why can't we tell everyone else? They'll find out soon enough, anyway, and you know they'll be thrilled," he reasons, before pausing. "Or, well, most of them, at least."
"I don't know, she just said that she didn't want me to tell anyone else just yet." She shrugs, searching for their seats. "And he'll be happy, trust me."
"That doesn't make any sense," he notes, taking her word for the rest of it.
"It's Sara, she probably has her reasons." Catherine finds their seats and quickly claims the one by the window.
"And those reasons are always so well founded," Nick says with more than a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
"What do you mean?" she asks.
"I asked her why she just left like that, and she gave me this story about how she couldn't take it anymore, that Grissom finally drove her away," he says, claiming the other seat and buckling his seatbelt. "Which, you know, I would totally believe, but I got a feeling there's more to it."
"Huh." She finds the in-flight magazine in the pocket of the seat in front of her and occupies herself with it.
"You know something I don't," he says as realization dawns on him.
"Look, you'll find out soon enough, but I can't tell you," Catherine says. "I promised Sara I'd let her do all the explaining."
"Fine, but that better be one hell of an explanation," Nick half grumbles.
"Oh, trust me, it will be."
"Mommy, Mommy, look what I made for you!" Shelby exclaims when Sara enters the daycare center later that day.
"What have you got there?" She crouches down to get eye to eye with her daughter.
"It's a buddyfly!" Shelby exclaims, thrusting a crayon covered piece of paper in Sara's hand.
"Wow, it's pretty," Sara praises her. "Let's put it on the fridge when we get home, OK?"
"OK." Shelby puts her shoes on, and Sara takes her hand before saying goodbye to one of the women working at the daycare center. Soon, they're out in the beautiful spring day.
"Listen, kiddo, there's something I want to talk to you about," she starts as they walk down the street. How do you explain to a three-year-old – granted, a smart three-year-old – that you're moving? She's never known any other home than their little apartment on Castro Street.
"Uh huh." Shelby nods where she's skipping next to Sara, eyes on the ground to avoid the cracks in the sidewalk.
"Remember the stories I've told you about the desert, and all the lights?" Sara reminds her daughter.
"Where it's always warm and never rains?" Shelby asks, looking up at her.
"Well, it does rain, but not very often, not like here," Sara hedges. You shouldn't lie to your kid, after all. "I've been thinking about maybe going back there… what would you think about that?"
Shelby bites her lip in silence for a moment, pondering the idea. "Can I bring Mr. Dandelion?" she finally asks. Mr. Dandelion is her stuffed lion, a toy she's had since she was born.
"Of course you can – wherever you go, Mr. Dandelion goes too," Sara assures her. "We'll bring all your toys and all our stuff."
"And Auntie Jill and Uncle Eric?"
"Well, no, they can't come, they have to stay here," she says. "But I used to live there, you know, I have plenty of friends who will spoil you just as much as Auntie Jill and Uncle Eric. So you can have new aunts and uncles."
"Then OK."
"I see you're back. I thought you weren't coming in tonight," Grissom notes when he enters the break room and finds Nick and Catherine at the table along with Greg, Warrick and Dennis.
"We left early this morning, figured you'd appreciate the extra hands," Catherine explains.
"Good, good." Grissom leans against the table, eyes on the papers in his hand. "Warrick and Dennis, a hit and run on the Strip. Catherine and Greg, DB at Treasure Island, Nick, B & E over in Henderson, think you can manage it by yourself? Uniforms on scene, of course."
"Sure thing, boss." Nick nods, accepting the assignment slip Grissom hands him with a salute.
"Good. I'll be in my office if anyone needs me." With that, Grissom leaves the break room and disappears down the hallway.
"Is it just me, or was he even more withdrawn than usual?" Warrick asks and Greg nods his agreement.
"I was just thinking the same thing."
"He's probably just having a bad day," Catherine suggests.
"He's been having a bad year," Greg exclaims. "No, make that three years, and counting. And we all know why."
"Just drop it, guys," she warns. "Greg, I'll meet you at the car in a few, OK?"
"Sure." He sighs, but nods, and they all leave the break room, the guys heading for the parking lot and their assignments, Catherine turning in the opposite direction, towards Grissom's office.
"Hey." He looks up at her greeting.
"Anything I can do for you?" he asks, returning his focus to the file on his desk.
"No, I'm good," Catherine replies. "Just wanted to check that you were OK."
"I'm fine," is his automatic response, like it has been so many times in the past three and a half years.
"Glad to hear it." Catherine turns to leave but pauses for a moment before looking over her shoulder. Grissom is still engrossed in the file. "Sara's doing fine, by the way." With that, she walks down the corridor, feeling his eyes on her until she rounds the corner.
AN: OK, so I haven't really done any research into childcare in Nevada, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't work the way I've described it! What can I say, living in Sweden, you get spoiled… For the purpose of this story, though, I have taken some creative liberties in this area