Dance With the Devil
DxD Chapter 6
Disclaimer: I own none of the series involved.
To answer some reviews...
AnimeA55Kicker: The dissonance was so strong that I had to break that chapter into two parts.
dxdragon3895: No, he wouldn't want to win that way.
correnhimself316: I'm waffling on that at where I'm at in my writings.
OBSERVER01: Yes, yes he is.
Sagitaro V: Yes, I know I am.
Holyknight: Good to see you, it's been a long time, man!
Nabiki took a deep breath as she lay on her bed and closed her eyes. "No point in risking falling over and hitting my head in case Heaven has some sort of anti-Nabiki defenses up." With a slow exhale of air, she activated her Sacred Gear. "I really need to find the name to this thing..." She muttered to herself and waited for the usual static to come back when she tried searching for things and failed.
When she got an actual view of Heaven, she was rather shocked. 'Okay, it has to be because I know what I'm looking for.' It still didn't make sense, since she had no clue where to look, but at least she could see into Heaven. 'So where do I start?' No point in looking a gift horse in the mouth after all.
Three hours later and Nabiki was starting to get extremely tired. 'How freaking HUGE is Heaven anyway?! This is like the third level I've been on and I don't even think I've made a dent in it!'
"Lady Gabriel!" One of the Angels spoke up. "What are you doing on the third level?"
A blonde haired woman, though Nabiki noted that all Angels seemed to have blonde hair and a fair complexion. "I merely wish to see if everything is alright, is that so wrong?" The, Nabiki noted, rather beautiful Angel smiled at the other Angels.
"Of course not, we were merely curious as to why one of the Great Seraphs would come to this level."
Gabriel just smiled at the other Angels, not bothering to answer.
'I have to admit, when God made Angels, he sure knew what he was doing.' Nabiki felt incredibly plain compared to this Gabriel woman. It wasn't like she excluded an aura of sexuality either, she felt more like Kasumi. Her beauty was just so pure that it made Nabiki want to vomit. 'Though that's probably because I'm a Devil looking at an Angel with... Holy fuck, TWELVE WINGS?!' She had seen Azazel with his wings out and the man had twelve wings as well. 'Then again, she's supposed to be a Great Seraph, aren't they supposed to be the last Angels before you meet God or something?' Nabiki had, after being turned into a Devil, did a little bit of research on Christian mythology. 'Which is really freaking hard to do when even seeing the words of the Bible messes you up.' She had even tried to use a public library to look up stuff on the Bible after being turned into a Devil.
That... Had been a mistake, to put it mildly. The ways the computers exploded and the out of control fire that happened as a result of her doing that was not something she liked to think about.
'Oh well, I need to get out of here before God decides to look at me and smite me.' She sighed, about to cut off the connection when a thought raced through her mind. '...If Heaven has multiple levels, then the Sacred Gear system has to be deeper, or higher, I guess, than this.' With that thought in mind, she set out to use her Sacred Gear to find the deeper layers of Heaven.
(-)
"Is something wrong, Lady Gabriel?" One of the Angels looked at the Great Seraph in concern as she looked around in confusion.
"It almost felt like Father looked in on me." Of course, that was impossible, but not many knew that. "Excuse me, I shall head back to the Sixth Heaven now." With that, she disappeared in a flash of light.
(-)
'Still nothing, and this is the Sixth level.' She had seen other Angels that had Twelve Wings in this area and decided to risk it. 'Great, I'm actually heading to the Seventh Heaven.' She had NO idea what she would see. 'Guess I'll be meeting God then.' Nabiki mentally laughed as her ability took her inside.
She wasn't sure what she expected, but the first thing she saw wasn't the Throne of God but something else entirely. 'What the...' Suddenly her vision started to get filled with static, the colors faded out, faded back in, but inverted and then became neon green and black, before swapping to colors she had never even seen, then the image started to swirl, spin and move in directions that she couldn't fathom. 'Mistakes were made!' She cried out in her mind as her hands gripped the sheets while she tried to cut off her Sacred Gear. 'Stop! STOP! STOP!' She mentally screamed as she saw a dog... That looked at her, barked and melted, only to be replaced with some sort of multi-headed snake, each head broke off and formed various patterns, one became an inverted pentagram, another became a cross, another one became a bolt of lightning, another one turned into a beast that Nabiki couldn't comprehend, another one became a giant bird, another one turned into a monkey. The symbols melted and changed, though Nabiki had no idea what a giant red Dragon, a red armor with a tail, a white armor with wings, a little, black clad and under-dressed little girl, a bi-pedal Dragon, a giant fox and some sort of large fetus had to do with anything. "STOP!" She screamed and snapped her eyes open, panting as the symbols stopped and she laid there, her body trembling. "What... The... Unholy... Reality... Was... That?"
Sitting up, she rubbed her forehead as she tried to ward off a painful headache. 'Note to self, kill Genma for his advice.' She started chuckling as she remembered hearing about how if one saw God in his true form that they would be driven insane because they couldn't comprehend it. "Screw seeing God, just seeing that level of Heaven was more than I could comprehend." Groaning, she felt like her head was going to burst. 'The Unholy Heaven is going on?'
Looking up blearily, she blinked as it looked like a semi-transparent sphere was around her. "Now what?" In the front there was a button labeled "START" and she tilted her head before reaching forward and touching it. "So, what's..." Her eyes widened as boxes of images, data and other stuff flashed in front of her, moving around and bouncing off of each other. "This is..." She looked down to see more information, off to the side and she saw information and images. "I did it..." She started laughing softly and bit her lip so she wouldn't get people to rush in here and check on her. "Okay, first thing's first! What is this damn Sacred Gear of mine called?"
*GOD'S EYE*
Nabiki blinked at the words that appeared before her. "God's Eye, huh? Neat." Looking up, she felt like she was in a pool of information and she could see forever. "I wonder, can I see into the past?"
Suddenly all the images disappeared, only to be replaced with stuff that happened in the past, her face flushed as she saw a lot of naughty stuff happening all at once. "Oh sheesh! Don't tell me this thing has no filter, does it?!"
On the other hand, she was quickly learning some interesting things. "Who could have guessed that some of the Roman Emperors were women?" And total sluts from the looks of things. Turning, she spied a large and explosive battlefield and looked at it. 'Why are those two Dragons fighting? How long ago was this? Where was it?' When the location and time popped up, she raised an eyebrow. "That was quite some time ago and in Europe even." Considering that the forces she saw around them seemed to be made up of Angels, Fallen Angels and Devils, it explained why the Christian religion was so strong there. "Why did they start fighting, I wonder." When the scene started to rewind, she was prepared to find some rather epic reason for why the Red and White Dragons were fighting.
"You cheated!" The red one bellowed at the white one. "You know that's not how the game works!"
"Sucks to be you, but I win this match, I get all the gold."
"Over my dead body!"
"That can be arranged, Ddrag!"
"BRING IT, ALBION! I'LL TEACH YOU NOT TO CHEAT ME AT CHECKERS!"
With a roar the two Dragons started to battle and Nabiki watched, stupidly. "...You mean the two started fighting over a freaking CHECKERS game?!" She looked around in annoyance. "So where's God? I want to voice a complaint about stuff!"
*ERROR*
"What do you mean Error?!"
*GOD IS DEAD*
Nabiki stared at those words while more images and information flew past her. "...God is dead? But... But how?!"
She watched, terrified as the images cleared away and she saw God's final moments in this reality before everything disappeared. "...How come the world hasn't ended yet then? Don't we need God to control things?"
*THE FOUR GREAT SERAPHS MANAGE THE SYSTEM GOD HAS CREATED HOWEVER DUE TO THEIR RELATIVE LACK OF POWER THE SYSTEM CANNOT FUNCTION AS IT ONCE DID*
"Lovely." Nabiki grumbled and narrowed her eyes in thought, trying to ignore the images and data that flew past her. "Can I see the future?"
*AFFIRMATIVE*
Nabiki's eyes widened as everything seemed to move at warp speeds forward and she gasped as she saw everything clearly, cleanly and... "Wait, what? But that didn't happen, and that did and then that didn't happen that way and, what's going on in China and..."
*WARNING INFORMATION SENSORY OVERLOAD OCCURRING*
"What?" Nabiki gasped as her vision started to get filled with static and images started jumping out at odd angles. 'It's like seeing a real life computer simulation failing.' Groaning, she gripped her head and flopped onto her bed. "What... What will happen if I keep this going?" She gasped as more and more information flooded her brain.
*MOST LIKELY POSSIBILITY IS BRAIN WILL SUFFER A FATAL ANEURYSM AND PERISH*
"Lovely. God's Eye off!" She gasped as everything stopped flooding her brain at the same time. "Oh thank the Infernal Netherworld that I'm not being bombarded with information on how to make grape ice-cream submarine fighting mecha snowlaser."
Nabiki had a weird look on her face as she heard that. "What the Valhalla was Odin's Beard?! Magical energy does not genetically engineer catgirls like Gabriel's perfect titties."
"Oh Touched Soul, I Tri-Hexa'd God's Fetus." Nabiki groaned, realizing that she had gone insane and it was all her Sacred Gear's fault!
On a fundamental level, she knew that she was just suffering from information overload and had no idea how to handle the flood of information at that moment.
"Loli Athena Devil Hunters Perfect Cake recipe!" She blinked, that one sounded good, she'd have to ask Kasumi to make it once she was able sort the information in her head out.
"Nabiki..." Kasumi knocked on the door. "Are you okay?"
"Misty Rainforest Golden Garden Gnomes Goddess Belldandy!" Nabiki would have groaned if she thought she could trust anything to come out of her mouth at that moment.
Kasumi blinked and opened the door to look at her sister in worry. "Um, what was that?"
"Robin Williams eats flaming flying monkey!" Nabiki groaned and grabbed a piece of paper to try and write out a message.
After ten attempts it became obvious that she couldn't even write properly.
"Should I call Dr. Tofu?" Nabiki nodded, desperation in her eyes. She didn't want to be insane forever!
"Azazel likes big boobs!" Nabiki blinked, that was the most normal thing she had said yet! Maybe there was hope!
"...Who's Azazel?"
Nabiki shook her head. "God's boob lover and Angel fearing pancakes!" Those also sounded good, Nabiki made a mental note to keep all the food recipes for later.
"I'll be right back." Kasumi walked off and went to get to the phone. This was serious!
Nabiki just groaned. "Plasma ion charges!" She couldn't even curse properly, this sucked!
(-)
Tofu frowned as he looked at Nabiki, thankful that the rest of her family had stayed out of her room, even though they were waiting right outside the door. "So what happened?"
"The Devil died in Georgia and God caked elderberries under a Vampire's pale Dragon God."
Tofu sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Are you taking this seriously?"
"MASH 4077 Monty Python and Mecha Power Armor!"
"Okay, Nabiki, take a deep breath and concentrate, try saying what happened slowly if that helps."
Nabiki took several deep breaths and realized if she wanted to say what was going on she was only going to get one chance at this. "IwasusingmysacredgeartolookintoheavensawsomethingweirdmybrainturnedweirdandIunlockedmybalancebreakerbutIgotfloodedwithinformationandnowIcantthinkortalkrightbecauseIsaweverythingthathappenedinthepastpresentandfutureexceptthatthefutureisntwritteninstoneandmybrainhurtsandIwontbeabletoreactafterthisbecauseitstakingeverythingIhavetoholdbackthefloodofinformationfrom final number of Pi is 4!"
"I see." Tofu said slowly, nodding as he tried to figure out exactly what she said. "Ah, I got it, so anyway, you can... Nabiki?" He looked at her worriedly as she looked straight ahead, not responding. Putting his hand up to her face, he waved, not getting a reaction. Putting his hand by her nose, he was thankful she was still breathing, even if slowly. "Alright, I'm guessing your brain shut down everything while it tries to figure this out." Reaching behind her, he tapped a few spots on her back and was thankful that her body still reacted as she slumped over and relaxed. "Just get some sleep, your brain will filter through that information eventually."
As he stood up, he wondered what to tell her family before remembering that they knew about magic, so...
"Well, couldn't hurt to try." Tofu said as he walked out of the room and into the living room.
Looking around the room, he was thankful that Kasumi wasn't there, otherwise he wouldn't be able to tell them what happened. "It seems that Nabiki was hit with a stray magic spell."
"What?" He wasn't sure who said it, since it seemed like everyone said it at the same time.
"My boy put anti-magic wards over this place, it should have protected us against it."
"Under most circumstances, yes," Tofu agreed, "however this wasn't an attack spell." Adjusting his glasses, he continued at their confused looks. "Had it been an attack spell, I have no doubt the wards that are in place would have stopped it." He could feel them still active after all. "My guess is that whoever cast the spell was an amateur in magic."
"Will Nabiki be okay?" Akane asked and sighed when Tofu nodded.
"Yes, but she's going to need bed rest. From what I can gather the spell was designed to give the mage near unlimited information, but..."
"There was a screw-up." Genma nodded, understanding immediately. "Even if the spell was a success, the person probably just wanted the short-cut and went 'give me everything' but screwed something up along the way and lost control of it."
"Well, magic is unpredictable." Soun said, his calm face was belied by the restrained fury in the tone of his voice and the tears coming out of his eyes.
"No." Genma shook his head. "Magic is actually very well researched and understood. The only time it gets unpredictable is when you have amateurs trying magic far beyond what they're capable of, or rituals, those are always unpredictable, especially since you might introduce an element that wasn't meant to be used in them."
"And in this case, it's probably both." Tofu said, glad that they bought it. "Anyway, if she doesn't get bombarded with any more stimuli for a few days her brain should be able to filter it out and allow her to think and speak normally."
"So, what's going to happen to her?" Soun asked, worry obvious in his voice.
Tofu gave him a small grin. "Well, when she recovers I have no doubt that she'll probably be one of the smartest people in the world."
After bidding them farewell, he left the Tendo compound.
Walking out of the kitchen, Kasumi sighed as she looked at her father. "Father, why did you have me stay in the kitchen until Dr. Tofu left?"
"I... Um..."
Genma coughed and turned to look at Akane. "Do you know of anyone in your school who practices magic of some sort? Even if they're inept we should check to make sure."
"I don't... Wait." Akane snapped her fingers. "There's one, he's a bit weird and he supposedly practices voodoo."
"Great..." Genma grumbled in annoyance. While he had never ran into a real voodoo practitioner, he heard enough about them to know that a skilled one was not someone you messed with. "Well, shall we go see this... What's this one's name?"
"Gosunkugi. Hikaru Gosunkugi."
(-)
"EEEK!" A small, scrawny boy with bags under his eyes gulped as three bigger boys stood over him. "H...Hey, listen, I don't have any money today, so could you just leave me alone?"
"Listen, you just need to..."
"Excuse me." A female voice spoke up and the three turned to see Felicia, in her nun outfit, standing there with a frown on her face. "I thought I warned you three to not bully anyone again."
"Ah! Sensei!" The boy who was being bullied smiled at the catwoman.
"Tsk, back off." The three pulled out knives and the boy gasped.
Felicia sighed and shook her head. "Really? You've decided to become Yakuza thugs?"
"Just back off, we were doing a business deal."
Felicia shook her head. "Well, guess I'll have to teach you three a lesson."
The boy who was being bullied watched in shock as Felicia quickly disarmed and brutalized the bullies, bending out of the way of their pathetic attempts to attack and even breaking a few bones, causing the boys to scream out in pain.
As the third one dropped, Felicia dusted her outfit off. "Oh Lord in Heaven, forgive me for the violence I partook in under your name." Felicia was a performer after all, and since she was in her nun outfit she had to play the part. "Are you okay?" She asked the boy, who nodded. "Okay, good, now you should get going, Hikaru-san."
His eyes widened. "You remembered me?"
She smiled at him. "Very few aspiring magic users out there who don't have a teacher. Now you should go before other bullies show up."
"R...Right." Hikaru Gosunkugi nodded and ran off, glad he wasn't being bullied for once.
Felicia smiled as she dusted her hands off and turned to leave, only to run face to face with a tall man in a brown kimono who had brown hair with blond front bangs. "Can I help you?"
"It's not often I see a woman of the cloth who can fight like that." The man smiled at her. "Most nuns are pretty peaceful."
"I have my reasons." She nodded to him. "Although I'm sure you do not wish to hear them." He gave her a confused look. "Shall we go for a walk?"
The man smiled and nodded. "Of course, I'd love to walk with a beautiful woman like you."
"Oh dear." Felicia smiled at him. "You should be careful, sir, attempting to seduce women of faith may bring God's anger upon you." For some reason the man laughed at that.
"It wouldn't be the first time the big guy got upset with me for stuff like that."
(-)
Gosunkugi was practically beaming as he walked home. He wasn't bullied, someone remembered who he was and the birds weren't pooping on him! Today couldn't get any better!"
"Gosunkugi-kun?" He blinked as he heard someone speaking and he shook his head to see his angel, Akane Tendo, smiling at him. "Gosunkugi-kun, is that you?"
"Ah, ah... Akane... What..." He cleared his suddenly high-pitched throat. "What can I do for you?"
Akane gave him a gentle smile. "Say, you're into magic, right?" He nodded, wondering why she was asking that. "You don't happen to know of any magic spells that can be used to increase a person's intelligence, do you?"
Gosunkugi cupped his chin in confusion. "I SUPPOSE there are spells like that, I've never heard of one, and even if there was, it might only let you know how to turn every single bug into a delicious meal."
"Eww..." Akane blanched at that. "So you haven't been trying to use magic to increase your intelligence?"
"No, but it might help." Gosunkugi pouted as Akane looked at him in confusion. "See, I've done some research and I found out about this group, they're pretty hush-hush, so finding out information was really hard to do."
"The Illuminati?" Akane gave him a wry smile and Gosunkugi shook his head.
"No, they call themselves the Khaos Brigade or something. Anyway, turns out they're looking for people who are good with magic, martial arts, are descended from a Legendary Hero or something."
Akane gave him a look. "And just how do you know all of this?"
"I found a personal blog run by someone in their group." Gosunkugi smiled, he was so proud that he found it, especially since none of the search engines had that website. Heck, he had even typed the address into the search bars and none of them could find it.
"If it's supposed to be hush-hush, who would post information online?"
"Someone who uses a lot of cat phrases in their typings. I don't know, but I've seen pictures of lots of people and they look like they're really strong."
Akane scratched her head. "That's just crazy."
(-)
"ACHOO! Nya..." She looked down and saw that her breasts had popped out of her kimono again. 'Maybe I should wear something that covers up a bit more.'
"You okay, Kuroka?"
The woman, a dark haired, busty and two tailed catgirl looked at the person who asked that and nodded as she put her breasts back under her kimono. "Yeah, I'm fine, Bikou. Anyway, say nimbus." She held up a tablet and snapped a picture of him.
"What do you do with those pictures anyway?"
Kuroka just smiled at him.
(-)
"So you didn't do anything magic like that then?"
"Nope, wish I had thought about it. Anyway, that's all I know."
Akane smiled at him. "Well, thank you."
(-)
Meanwhile, in Kuoh City...
Happosai looked up from a corner in the training area as Ranma and Mittelt walked in. "Hey there! Did you two enjoy yourselves?" He laughed as Mittelt blushed hard. "You don't need to answer, your auras tell me all that I need to know."
Ranma rolled his eyes as he walked upstairs to Mittelt's room to put her stuff away. He didn't care what the old pervert did. Really, he didn't see what Genma had been complaining about. The fact that Happosai was a panty thief, a thief in general, petty and vindictive didn't really bother Ranma. Well, so long as it wasn't directed at him.
Mittelt blushed and fidgeted as Happosai leered at her. "I don't know what you're leering at me for, don't you like boobs or something? I'm pretty lacking in that department."
"I'm enjoying the aura you're putting out." Happosai sighed in contentment. "So long as he's keeping you and Lilith sexually satisfied I don't need to go out and liberate silky darlings as much I normally do."
"So why do you do it?" Mittelt asked, glad that he had never taken her underwear.
"Mostly because it's fun." Happosai laughed at her. "But also because it keeps me alive." Seeing her confused look, he clarified. "Do you really think humans can live to be three hundred years old under normal circumstances?"
"Not since the time of Lott." Mittelt answered him, causing Happosai to raise an eyebrow. "What?"
"I didn't know you studied the Bible."
Mittelt snorted and formed her Fallen Angel wings behind her, there was no point in hiding it from Happosai, since he knew about it already. "Fallen Angel here, I've talked to Father directly before I fell." She dismissed her wings before she made a mess all over the floor with her feathers.
"Huh, interesting." Happosai nodded at her. "So why do you follow him? Surely it can't be just because of the sex." Mittelt was silent and sat down on the floor, not answering. "...Don't tell me that you're in love with him."
"WHAT?!" Mittelt yelled, her face turning bright red. "I don't, no, maybe, I..."
Happosai shook his head. "Don't worry about it, emotions are difficult to understand."
Mittelt let out a slow breath as she looked up. "I don't know if I love him, but... He could have done so many bad things to me, but he didn't. No one would have blamed him if he did."
"Ah, the old 'because he was nice to me' story?" Happosai nodded, he knew more than a few people who found someone to fall in love with that way. "It's alright, you could do much worse than him."
Mittelt thought about it and thought about some of the Fallen Angels she knew and nodded. "Yeah. At least he's not a creepy pervert."
"Just a non-creepy one, right?" Happosai laughed, getting a giggle from Mittelt. The Fallen Angel didn't know why, but things really were relaxing in this place.
Sitting on the stairs, Ranma smiled as he looked at Mittelt. He, himself, wasn't sure how he felt about her, but he did like her. At least Mittelt looked like she was enjoying herself, though she had complained about the lack of things to do outside of school, sex and sparring.
It was something to look into at least.
'Huh, where are Nuku and Lilith?'
(-)
"WHEE!" Lilith cried out in glee as she hugged Atsuko from behind. "You were right!"
"I KNOW!" Atsuko grinned as she rang the bell on the bike she was riding and zoomed around town. "I haven't done this since moving here!"
"Hey, Atsuko, I was wondering." Lilith began as they biked up a ten story building, up the flag pole on the top and stopped on the top on the front tire. "Just how complete is your cyborg body?"
"What do you mean?" She asked before zooming down the flag, the building and taking a perfect angle to get onto the street without losing any speed or damaging her bike. Lilith wasn't sure how she did that, but she wasn't complaining.
"Well, I'm kind of curious to know how biological you are now that you have a cyborg body."
"Oh!" Atsuko nodded at her. "If you must know, I have a fully functional digestive system, my heart beats, I have to breath air, though I can hold my breath for over an hour with ease. Mama and Papa were very thorough before we moved here to see what I would need. They even said that I have reproductive organs too. Why?"
"Just curious, that's all." Lilith smiled and wondered just how potent those Devil Pieces were. "WOAH!" Lilith yelped as Nuku jumped the bank, landed in the water and was... "Are you Jesus?!" She stared in shock as Atsuko was pedaling so fast that they were skimming the surface while kicking up large waves on either side of them.
"No, I'm just Atsuko Natsume!"
Lilith laughed as the cleared the river and continued their bike adventure.
(-)
Walking out of a cell phone store, Sona Sitri sighed in irritation. "Can't believe they forced me to buy a new phone. 'Oh no, we don't carry that model anymore, you need the newest model to replace your damaged phone.' Stupid Saji bumping into me like that." She knew it wasn't his fault, he had been helping the theater club out by moving props around and couldn't see her when she walked in the room. The resulting impact with her pawn caused her to drop her phone on the floor, which unfortunately broke it.
Her Devil hearing picked up the sound of something barreling her way. Turning in what felt like slow motion, she could only stare in shock as she saw that nice Atsuko girl...
...On a bike...
...Breaking several laws of physics...
...And heading right at her.
Less than one second later Atsuko drove past her so fast that Sona found herself upside down on her head, her butt in the air and thanks to her wearing a skirt, her panties exposed to everyone who bothered to look at her. "Nnngh..." She quickly got up and blinked as everything looked blurry. "Where are..." She looked down and sighed in relief as she found her glasses by her hand. Picking them up she was even more relieved that they didn't have a scratch on them. "Oh thank sister." Standing up fully, she took one step forward and heard a crunch. Slowly looking down, she paled as she saw her brand new phone...
...Broken in several places...
...And under her foot.
"SUNNVABITCH!" At least she had the foresight to get the one year protection plan for it.
(-)
"Was that the Student Council President?" Lilith asked as Atsuko turned a corner and pedaled into the residential area of the city, before mentally shrugging. It wasn't too important even if that was.
(-)
After more than four hours of joyriding around town, Atsuko stopped at their place, kicking up a storm of dust as the long-haired girl somehow stopped all momentum in an instant. "And we're home!" She grinned and got off the bike, followed by Lilith.
Adjusting her hair, Lilith grinned at Atsuko. "That was fun! We should do it again." Before Atsuko could respond, Lilith glomped the taller girl and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "Thanks." Letting go, she walked towards the door.
Atsuko blinked a few times and touched her lips, smiling softly as her face turned a light pink. "Hey! Wait up! I need to bring this inside so it doesn't get stolen!" She cried out and grabbed her bike, pulling it inside.
Walking inside, they both watched as Mittelt chased Happosai around the room, yelling something about not grabbing her ass and Happosai laughing. It didn't look like the blonde was too angry, she wasn't even using magic against him after all.
"Oh, hey!" Ranma waved from the kitchen. For some reason she was in her cursed form. "Have fun?"
Lilith nodded, laughing softly as both Mittelt and Happosai greeted them while running all over the room. "Yeah."
Atsuko laughed as she put her bike inside and closed the door. "Good to be home!"
"Home..." Lilith said softly and nodded. "Yeah, this is our home, isn't it?"
(-)
The next day Ranma was running across rooftops in the early morning, getting some fresh air when he spied a couple of girls that he recognized from the school walking towards it. "Huh, isn't that..?" Mentally shrugging, he changed directions and landed behind the two, kicking up a wind and causing their skirts to flutter up. 'Pink and a thong?' He mentally made a note of their underwear as they turned to see him. "Hey."
"Ah, you're..." The taller one, the one wearing the thong, he remembered, spoke first. "One of the newer students, Saotome, right?"
Ranma nodded at her. "Tsubaki, right?" She nodded and he looked at the shorter girl. "And... Sona, right?"
"Yes." The shorter girl nodded and adjusted her glasses. "What are you doing up so early?"
"Just going on a run." Ranma smiled at them. "What about you two?"
"Rias gave me a call last night, saying she was coming back, so I thought to greet her."
"Neat. I guess she won, because otherwise she'd be on a honeymoon right now." Ranma's comment got a laugh out of both Tsubaki and Sona.
"Oh, I imagine she'd hurt you for that one." Sona gave him a wry grin. "But I imagine she won as well. If you wish to follow us."
"Of course." Ranma nodded as he followed the two.
(-)
Standing in the Occult Research Club room, the three watched as Rias and her peerage appeared out of a red flash. "Welcome back." Sona smiled, but looked at Issei in confusion as he looked rather... Dejected for some reason.
"So, how'd you do?"
"We won." Akeno smiled at him. "Kiba and Issei managed to take care of most of Riser's peerage by themselves, I'm rather impressed."
Koneko grumbled something about getting a mad bomber taking a cheap shot at her. "I'm still surprised the perv won against her."
"Oh?" Ranma asked, genuinely curious.
"Riser's Queen," Tsubaki started to explain, "is known as the Mad Bomber Queen and is one of the strongest Queens of our generation. It's rumored that she was a Fallen Angel that Riser turned into a Devil, but I can't confirm that."
"Ah." Ranma nodded, that made sense. "So what did you do?"
"I face planted into her boobs and grabbed her butt before making her clothes explode." Issei sighed in dejection.
Ranma, Sona and Tsubaki all gave him confused looks. "No offense, but how did that take her out?"
"Apparently," Akeno giggled, "when Issei grabbed her butt, he put a ward you gave him on her right butt-cheek that activated at the moment when he made her clothes explode."
Kiba laughed and patted Issei on the back. "That was impressive, I doubt I could have gotten as close as he did."
"Wait, which ward?" Ranma frowned in confusion. "The only one I gave you was... Oh."
"Yeah, the teleportation one, Riser's Queen ended up butt-naked tangled up in vines." Akeno giggled heavily. "I have the images on my phone if you want to see them sometime."
"Maybe later." Ranma and Sona said at the same time.
"So..." Tsubaki pushed her glasses up her face. "Why does Issei look so dejected then?"
"Because at the end of the fight..." Issei groaned and shuddered.
"Somehow about three meters of snow fell on the battlefield." Asia answered, "and everyone but Issei got out instantly. Riser apparently climbed on top of it and..."
Rias looked a little queasy as she answered what happened next. "Issei already had four boost charges built up, and when he dug through the snow, he got a fifth one as he punched up..."
"I thought I was going to hit him in the chest or jaw! I SWEAR!" Issei cried out in dismay.
"Instead, Issei hit Riser... In the crotch and ruptured his testicles."
Tsubaki and Sona both looked green while Ranma immediately hunched over and tried to cross his legs in sympathy. "HOLY FUCK DUDE!"
"He did heal, right?" Sona asked trepedly, getting a nod from Rias.
"It took him over an hour, but he did heal fully, but... Um..." Rias looked at Issei, who was groaning and crouched down. "He was still talking like he inhaled helium afterwords."
"GEE I WONDER WHY!" Ranma cried out, his voice pitched up out of sympathy for how much pain Riser had to have been going through.
"I... Oww..." Tsubaki still looked ill. "Issei, please, in the future, do not strike people in the genitals, even if they deserve it, it's not usually a good idea to do so."
"But I didn't mean to!" Issei whined out pathetically and hung his head, groaning.
"Alright..." Rias spoke up after a few more minutes. "As you can tell, we won, so I don't need to get married to Riser." Which she was thankful for, but she still felt really bad for the guy. She had been getting nasty looks from Riser's entire peerage until they left over the whole affair.
"Yes, and I'm glad to have you back." Sona nodded, thankful she didn't have to lose her friend. "Anyway, you know that school is tomorrow, so get plenty of rest."
The others nodded in agreement.
Issei just wondered how much worse things could get.
(-)
The next day...
"Issei!" The boy looked up as he walked onto school ground and blinked as he saw Katase, Murayama and several other students, both male and female, standing there, waiting for him.
"Um... I'm not in trouble am I?"
"We heard what happened." Katase said, smiling at him. "That you and Rias-onee-chan were attacked by thugs and one of them said he was going to rape Rias-onee-chan and you fought them off for her."
"Yeah, even punched one of them in the dick!" Murayama pumped a fist. "Rapists deserve that much! Good job."
Issei blinked, he wasn't sure why they were thanking him, he didn't fight any rapists off. 'What's going on?'
(-)
Looking out on the school grounds from an upstairs window, Tsubaki gave a smirk as she adjusted her glasses. "Enjoy the present, Issei, after everything you went through, I hope you like it." She whispered to herself.
If you can't tell, Nabiki's Sacred Gear gives her Omniscience... With no filter and it overloads her brain and she can't think or speak straight thanks to it. Funny enough, this chapter, when I showed it to Innortal, had him realize that I had created an unintentional plot point. Which is awesome!
How does a Dragon cheat at checkers anyway?
Also, I don't know if the actual final number of Pi is 4 or not.
Okay, just to make things clear, since some of you might be a little confused. Issei never gave up his left arm to Ddrag when he fought Riser, thus he never went into his Balance Breaker mode when he delivered that nut-punch. So no Akeno sucking on his finger scenes.
Omake by Innortal
"And a special rule for the Ratings Games!" declared Sirzechs. "No shots to the private areas."
Issei blushed, looking down at the floor. Please don't have that labeled the Issei Rule! he begged in his mind.