Dance With the Devil
New 5 Part 2
Disclaimer: I own none of the series involved.
Armiture: Thank you.
aliesterus: I am a fan of Go Nagai's mecha, though instead of a Getter Beam, someone's more likely to get a Breast Fire attack. Might be hilarious, I'll see if I can work it in somehow.
I will answer your question, Mr. Haziq at the end of this chapter.
"Well, looks like all the magicians have finally been eliminated, nice." Azazel said as he stroked his beard. He let out a grunt as something crashed into him from behind before he was blasted hard and sent barreling into the ground below and causing a crater that knocked Issei off his feet. "He got me." Azazel grumbled as he crawled out of the hole. "I must be losing my edge," he turned to look up at the sky. "Bad Vali."
"Vali?!" Issei gasped as he looked up at the guy in the white power armor. "So you're the reason they knew about this meeting?!"
"Sorry, Azazel, things just look more interesting from this side." Vali shrugged. "And you, Ranma Saotome..." He looked at the body he threw into Azazel. "You were right about one thing, after that performance I'd have to put you in the top two thousand in all the realms."
"Let me guess, now that you've tagged me you can Divide my power even if you focus on someone else, huh?" Ranma sneered in annoyance.
Getting up and dusting himself off, Azazel's wings formed behind him. "I can understand, but there's something I'd like to ask you."
As Azazel flew up, Vali just looked at him. "Hmm?"
Looking at the young man, Azazel grinned at him. "You know Shemhazai, my Vice-Governor General? Well he recently informed me that a faction was gathering the dangerous members of the three great factions, hero descendants and more. What were they called again? Oh yes, the Khaos Brigade."
"You always were well-informed, Azazel." Vali said as he looked at the man in front of him. Every instinct of his was screaming at him to ask for forgiveness for what he had done, but he couldn't listen to it, not right now.
Azazel just continued to smirk at Vali. "Considering just how many powerful members of the Khaos Brigade exists, I'm guessing that you're being led by Ophis, the Ouroboros Dragon, am I right?"
The name caused a commotion for the people who were able to pay attention, though Issei and Ranma were both confused about the name.
"No way," Rias gasped. "The Ouroboros Dragon? A Dragon so powerful even God feared its existence?"
"Yes, it is true," Vali admitted, "I am working with Ophis and the Khaos Brigade. But believe me, neither Ophis nor myself have any interest in world domination. We're simply a group that seeks to use our power for our own ends, nothing more or less."
"Well, that makes more sense." Azazel nodded at him. "I couldn't imagine you teaming up with Katerea otherwise. But then again, considering that you had your Devil title stolen as well, I wasn't completely sure."
"Wait, what?!" Serafall gasped. "He's a Devil King's descendant as well?"
"Indeed," Vali's right eye started to glow. "My name is Vali Lucifer."
"What?!" Sirzechs and Rias said at the same time.
"Lucifer?" Issei gasped in shock.
"I am one of the descendants of the dead Devil Kings. My mother was human, so I'm only a half-breed. My father was the grandson of the Great Devil King Lucifer. It was by pure chance that I got this Sacred Gear."
"All because you're part human." Azazel commented. "The fact that you have the blood of the actual Devil King Lucifer flowing through you and that Sacred Gear," he shrugged, "basically your very existence is a joke."
"I would say it's more of a miracle, really." Vali replied, eight black Devil wings forming out of his back.
Seeing that, Michael lowered his head and closed his eyes. "Dear God..." he sighed, wondering what sort of tragedy was to befall this world.
"The power of the Vanishing Dragon and Lucifer himself, huh?" Azazel casually commented. "I have a feeling this is the strongest White Dragon Emperor of all time, past, present and future."
On the ground, Issei could only look on in awe before Vali called his name. "What?"
"Fate can be cruel, huh? Me, the strongest Dragon Emperor with the blood of a Satan flowing through me, while you are barely a Devil, you lived a normal life with a normal family. In fact, if not for your Sacred Gear, you would be nothing."
"Well, if not for my Sacred Gear, I doubt I'd be a Devil right now." Issei shot back, getting a smirk from Vali, though no one could see it from behind his armor.
"Indeed," looking at Ranma, Vali shook his head. "Alas, I almost wish that you had gotten the Red Dragon Emperor instead, Ranma Saotome." Ranma looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. "Even without a Sacred Gear like that, your abilities managed to impress me. Had you gotten it, I'm sure that my destined rival would have been able to give me the fight I desire."
"Eh, don't flatter yourself, pretty boy." Ranma snorted at him. "If I had that Boosted Gear, I doubt you could touch me." He had been wondering why Vali insisted that he was stronger so much, if it was only the Sacred Gear, then Ranma had no doubt he wasn't that strong, but since he was descended from Satan himself, it made a lot more sense.
Vali actually laughed as he heard that. "That's what I mean! Even now I can feel my blood boiling, aching for a challenge! But alas, I have to settle for you, don't I, Issei?"
"Hey!" Issei snarled at him. "Just because I don't have your fancy level of power doesn't mean you're "settling" with anything!"
"Hmm, then again, I wonder..." Vali looked at the two of them. "Perhaps you could just take his Sacred Gear for yourself? Though it would kill him in the process."
"Yeah, how about no?" Ranma sarcastically bit back at him. "Sorry, I don't care how much stronger it would make me, I wouldn't sacrifice someone just to get to that level of strength."
"One day, Saotome, you may not have a choice." Vali shot back before looking back at Issei. "Well then, if the more worthy opponent won't take your power, then perhaps I just need to find a way to make you wake it up fully? Maybe I should kill your parents then?"
"Yeah, okay, shut up." Ranma said as he jumped into the air, a barrier forming under his feet. "I'm kind of sick of your big mouth."
"What can you do? Your power's been cut in half and I can do it again."
Ranma gave him a small grin. "Tell me something, Vali... Could you fight me without doing that divide power?"
"Hmm?"
"Come on. With all that talk about 'testing your power' and all that shit you don't want to win just by dividing power, right?" Ranma's smirk grew. "How about it? Fight me without dividing my power, because I know I can't beat that." Though Ranma felt that he could in the future.
Vali laughed. "Fine! I'll defeat you without using my Sacred Gear's power."
"Are you sure that's wise, Vali?" Albion spoke up. "Surely he would have a plan to fight you."
"It's fine, I won't use divide against him. Come on, Ranma, if you're holding something back, don't be afraid to use it."
"What could he be planning?" Sirzechs asked as he watched Ranma reach up to the wrist band on his right arm and tap it, a green magic circle forming on the underside of his arm. "Wait, is that a seal?"
"ARE YOU SURE YOU SHOULD DO THIS?!" Mittelt yelled at Ranma. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE AGAINST THIS!"
Ranma's eyes were cast in shadow as he nodded. "Alright then... Power sealed, release your strength," the green circle shattered and the wrist band fell from his arm and disappeared. "Devil King... UNLEASH!"
There was an explosion of power as emerald green energy erupted from Ranma, spiraling around him into the sky.
"What the?" Vali hovered back, his eyes widening as he saw what was in front of him. "No way..."
"Devil wings?!" More than one person gasped in shock.
"Well..." Azazel muttered to himself as he watched from a distance. "This is interesting. How DID you become a Devil?"
"VALI!" Ranma's voice was heard over the roar and the White Dragon Emperor suddenly grinned in delight.
"YES!" He rushed in, punching at Ranma's face, only to have his fist slam into an invisible barrier before lightning crashed down on him from behind. "Well, you're interesting." Vali grunted and fired a Dragon shot at Ranma, blasting the barrier into pieces. When Ranma rushed at him, he flew right at him, both of them trading blows with each other.
"What's going on?" Serafall asked and looked at Mittelt, who was watching in worry. "You knew what he was doing. So how is he a Devil and how did he get all this power?"
"I'm... Not completely sure." She shook her head. "When I met him, he was already a Devil, but he didn't want people to know."
Ranma grunted as Vali kicked him in the gut, though at least he got to see Vali's shocked face as his head armor shattered from the hundreds of hits Ranma tagged his face with. "Having fun yet?" Holding his hands to the side as he flew through the air, he threw two powerful Youki blasts at Vali, who grunted as he blocked them.
"Vali, his power is dangerously high, I suggest..."
"Enough, Albion." Vali grinned as he fired a Dragon shot at Ranma, who countered with a Youki blast, rushing in, he grunted as Ranma ducked under his attack and struck him in the face. "Fascinating. Simply fascinating." He gasped as his body started crackling with lightning.
"You're slow!" Ranma yelled as he dive kicked Vali in the chest, only to have his eyes widen as Vali grabbed his leg.
"Interesting." Vali grinned as he dive bombed to the ground, spinning and slamming Ranma into it, hard. "For someone who spent their life training with humans, I have to say I'm impressed. However, I trained with actual Gods growing up." Standing up, Vali kicked Ranma in the chest so hard that he went flying into the school building. "What can you do? Huh? Is that it?"
Ranma let out a yell as he punched the air rapidly, sending powerful air pressure shots at Vali. The White Dragon Emperor gasped as he was jerked from side to side by the attacks, cracking his armor. Grinning, Vali took off into the sky, followed by Ranma as they traded blows at super high speeds.
"Impressive." Azazel said as he watched. "Just how much longer can you keep up with him though, Ranma Saotome?" He could feel the energy Ranma had was slowly slipping away. "All that power and no control over the eruption, huh?"
Letting out a yell, Ranma kneed Vali in the back, causing the White Dragon Emperor to tumble through the air. Holding up his hands, Ranma formed a green Youki blast and sent it flying at Vali, causing him to head towards the ground for a moment, before he righted himself and took off back into the sky.
"Come on!" Vali yelled as he flew into Ranma's chest, elbowing him hard and causing Ranma to spit up some blood. "Is that all you've got?!" Several small, cylindrical barriers jabbed Vali from all directions, forcing him to pull back before they broke through his armor. "Interesting barriers."
Punching in, Ranma stared as Vali caught his fist. "Dammit!" He cursed as Vali kneed him in the stomach, doubling him over before smashing him out of the sky. Even when Ranma recovered, Vali was on him, driving his feet into Ranma's stomach and forcing him into the ground, creating a crater.
"That was impressive..." Vali floated up and panted as he watched Ranma get back up. "But all for naught."
"DIVIDE."
Ranma let out a yell as he felt his power drain. "Fucker!" He hissed as his power drained even more.
"Don't feel bad, Ranma." Vali said. "Your power, your strength, they were superb! However you don't have any experience with your power at that level, even without the Divide, you would have lost as the battle ran on."
Ranma panted as he remained on one knee and looked up at Vali. "Now I see why... Why you could beat Kokabutt."
"As it stands, you may have been able to defeat him as well, but you cannot win right now." Looking back at Issei, he grinned as his armor fully repaired itself. "Tell me something, Issei, could you give me that kind of fight? No, you couldn't, you couldn't give me what I wanted. You would need something to motivate you. Yes, I'll kill your parents. Or maybe I should kill your friends first and make you watch? Would that finally motivate you?"
Seeing his friend on the ground, hearing what Vali was saying, something inside of him snapped. "You stupid, selfish, sunnvabitch..." Issei was gritting his teeth as he felt his blood start to boil. "Why should I let you take away those that I love and care about for your own twisted, selfish IDEALS?!"
"WELSH DRAGON, OVERBOOSTER!"
Issei screamed as he was surrounded in a swirling vortex of fire before it dissipated, revealing a red Dragon armor with green gems on its body. "NO ONE HURTS THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT! I DON'T CARE WHO THEY ARE!"
"His Balance Breaker!" Rias gasped as Issei finally obtained it.
"Well, well, about time you drew that out." Vali smirked under his helmet. "Come on, can you at least give me a token of a fight?"
On the ground, Issei started to glow as he glared at Vali. "Yeah, keep talking douchebag! ASCALON!"
"BLADE!"
Out of Issei's left knuckle a long sword appeared as Issei leaped into the sky after Vali, who dodged out of the way.
"The Dragon Slayer sword?" Albion commented to Vali. "I can't block that."
"Then I'll have to make sure that he can't touch us." Vali replied as he took to the sky, Issei following after him.
Watching, Ranma had to admit, that level of power was way higher than he was expecting from either of them. But as he watched, he felt his body trembling. 'You two... One day...'
"Weak! You're too weak!" Vali yelled as he danced around Issei, slamming him in the stomach with his feet.
"DIVIDE."
Issei felt his power drain as his aura evaporated while he went flying to the ground. "Fuck, that damn power of his."
"You okay?!" Rias and Asia asked at the same time.
"Just fine." Issei replied as he struggled to get back to his feet.
"BOOST! Sorry, partner, but the best I can do is return you to the level of power you were before, but thanks to him touching us, he can Divide our powers every ten seconds."
"And you can only boost every ten seconds." Issei grumbled as he looked up at Vali. "Why are their particles coming out of his wings?"
"When he absorbs too much power, the wings help him vent the excess energy away."
"So he has a limit, huh?"
Vali formed two white spheres of energy in his hands. "You seemed to get upset at the thought of me killing your friends, Red Dragon Emperor. Perhaps I should do it right now? Let's start with... HER!" He yelled, throwing the spheres at Asia.
"NO!" Issei got in front of them, a barrier forming around his body as he blocked them entirely.
"How about her?" He charged at Rias before Issei tackled him into the air.
"STOP FUCKING AROUND, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"
"That's it!" Vali grinned under his armor. "Get angrier! Hate me more!"
"Ddrag, transfer power to Ascalon!"
"TRANSFER!"
Issei's left arm started to glow before he punched Vali in the face, breaking the plate. "AGAIN!" He grabbed onto Vali's wings.
"TRANSFER!"
"What are you doing?" Vali stared in shock as he felt his power building up too fast.
"I'm boosting the power that you absorb, plus how much you already have absorbed, eventually your wings won't be able to handle it!"
When Albion warned him that the system was overloading and would need to restart, Vali realized that Issei was going to win this round.
"FEEL THE POWER OF ASCALON!" Issei screamed and punched Vali in the chest, shattering the armor and sending him to the ground, pieces of it scattered across the ground and a cracked blue orb on the ground ended up right in front of Issei as he landed on the ground.
Grabbing his chest as blood dribbled out of his mouth, Vali coughed a few times. "I...Incredible. Well done."
When Vali stood back up, his armor reforming, Issei could only swear.
"The fight won't end until one of the two can no longer continue. This is how Dragons fight." Ddrag told Issei. The gem on his left hand started to glow and Issei held it up to him. When asked what was wrong, the Dragon responded, "the armband is almost at the limits of its effectiveness."
"Dammit, if only I was stronger." Issei cursed in annoyance. When told he should run away as the time limit was more of an enemy than Vali was, Issei shot that down. "I can't just leave everyone!" Looking down, he noted the cracked blue orb on the ground by his feet. "Ddrag, the Sacred Gear evolves according to my emotions, right?"
"Yes, but are you sure you want to do this? You will be putting your life on the line."
As he picked up the blue orb, Issei smirked under his armor. "I can't die yet, there's so much I want to do. I mean, I still have to get it on with Rias! Come on! For that alone I could take on the whole goddammed world!"
"HA HA HA!" Ddrag laughed in amusement. "Very well, then here's my determination!" As Issei held the orb up in the air, Ddrag continued to speak. "I am the mass of power known as the Red Dragon Emperor, and I will face this with my partner, together! Are you ready?"
"YEAH!" Issei grinned as his armor gems started to glow.
"What can you do so late in the game?" Vali sneered.
"Shut up, you Dividing Dragon Dickhead!" Issei then slammed the blue sphere onto his right arm's green sphere. "This is where, I TAKE YOUR POWER!"
"Issei, NO!" Rias cried out as she realized what he was about to do.
Screaming in agony, Issei's right arm twitched and spasmed while his body glowed. "HOLY FUCK THIS FUCKING HURTS!" Not even getting slashed by Excalibur Mimic or getting stabbed by spears of light after being turned into a Devil hurt this much!
Not far from him, Atsuko, who was barely paying attention, as she was looking for the others who hadn't gotten back yet, grimaced as she heard him scream. 'Hang in there, Issei.'
"What's going on?!" Gasper cried out in shock. "Is he okay?!"
"Are you really trying to take my power?" Vali asked, more amused than anything else. "Or perhaps you wish to die."
"SHUT UP!" Issei screamed as he fought back against the pain. "Kiba did it when he combined Holy and Devil Magic! Ranma did with that fire and ice magic attack!" He grinned, though it was pained. "Besides, Atsuko told me once, that sometimes you need to throw logic, reason and everything else to the wind and put everything on the line! So that's what I'm going to do!"
"Rather reckless," Albion spoke up, "we are conflicting entities. Have you gone stupid, Ddrag?"
"Ha ha ha!" Ddrag laughed at the White Dragon. "It's true that my partner's reckless, but that's what I like about him! Just kick logic to the curb and punch your way through, that's how we'll roll from here on out!"
Issei grinned, feeling the pain dying down. "If my abilities don't work, then I'll just find a way and punch through the wall in front of me! SO RESPOND TO MY POWERS ALREADY!"
"VANISHING DRAGON! POWER IS TAKEN!" Issei's right gauntlet changed to a white color, matching Vali's armor, while the gem over the wrist and elbow became blue.
"Impossible, this is impossible." Albion muttered in shock.
"You do realize that you gave up most of your lifespan with that reckless stunt, right?" Ddrag commented to Issei. "Most Devils live for thousands of years, you won't be one of them."
"That's fine, nothing lasts forever, still got shit I want to do before that though."
"Ha ha ha! Finally!" Vali laughed and spread his wings while floating up. "Now let me show you something of mine!" The air started to waver as Vali squeezed a fist at the school house. "Divide Dimensions!"
"What's going on?" Mittelt asked as she watched the building getting smaller.
"He's dividing the dimensional space," Michael noted in amazement. "It's a very dangerous ability that can shrink anything."
"How is that fair?!" Rias yelled in shock.
"It's not." Azazel said as he landed on the ground, his wings disappearing. "Hoo boy, what are we going to do with those two?" He sighed before smirking as an idea came to him. "Well, if Vali's going to be unfair, I think I'll cheat myself. Hey, Red Dragon Emperor, Issei."
"What is it?" Issei asked as he turned to look at Azazel.
"Let me make it simple for you, okay?" He gestured towards Rias. "Vali's power can divide anything, including Rias Gremory's bust line."
"HEY!" Rias protested.
"What?" Issei's pupils shrank. 'Divide her boobs? But they're perfect, I love her boobs. They'll become normal? I don't want to live in a world where Rias has a normal rack.' Something in him snapped at that moment. 'Boobies.'
Turning to Vali, Issei snarled. "DON'T FUCK WITH ME!" Looking up at Vali, he yelled. "RIAS'S TITTIES ARE PERFECT AND I WON'T LET YOU REDUCE THEM!"
"Wait, what?" Vali asked, stupefied.
"YOU MONSTER!"
"BOOST!"
"YOU'RE PURE EVIL!"
"BOOST!"
"I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS!"
"BOOST! BOOST! BOOST! BOOST! BOOST! BOOST! BOOST! BOOST! BOOST! BOOST! BOOST! BOOST! BOOST! BOOST! BOOST! BOOST! BOOST! BOOST! BOOST! BOOST! BOOST! BOOST! BOOST! BOOST! BOOST! BOOST! BOOST!"
As Issei started to glow and the winds around him erupted, blowing away the school building, trees and other things, forcing everyone to get behind a barrier or be blown away, Azazel started laughing while creating his own barrier. "This fight is hilarious!"
"BOOST!"
"This day has been full of surprises, but I guess it hasn't been boring."
"JUST TRY LAYING A FINGER ON RIAS GREMORY, I DARE YOU! I'LL DESTROY YOU SO COMPLETELY YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO BE REBORN AGAIN! YOU HEAR ME, VALI?!" Issei screamed while lunging for the White Dragon Emperor, who took off into the sky, Issei then charged after him like a rocket, hitting him in the chest as hard as he could.
"What's with that speed?" Vali grunted in shock and flew away some more.
"SO WHAT?!" Issei screamed as he increased his speed and grabbed Vali's shoulder from behind with his left hand. "IF YOU HAD IT YOUR WAY WOULD YOU STOP AT RIAS OR WOULD YOU MAKE EVERYONE'S BOOBS SMALLER?!"
Vali was forced to turn and he gasped as Issei's white colored gauntlet came rushing at his face. "THIS IS FOR RIAS AND HER MAMMOTH SIZED MELLONS!"
"DIVIDE!" Ddrag screamed and Vali could feel his own power being drained at that moment.
"AND THIS!" Issei threw his head back before slamming it into Vali, shattering both of their helmets. "IS FOR AKENO'S HUGE HONKERS!"
Vali gasped in shock as Issei kneed him in several places, including between the legs. Normally that wouldn't bother him too much, but that was a really powerful blow and the armor didn't protect his most sensitive area at all. "THIS IS SO ASIA CAN KEEP GROWING!"
A haymaker smashed Vali across his jaw with Issei's right hand, causing Vali to spit blood. "FOR XENOVIA'S KILLER KAZANGAS!"
Issei had tears falling out of his eyes as he imagined the next thing that Vali would divide. "AND WHAT ABOUT KONEKO'S POOR ITTY BITTY TITTIES?! YOU CAN'T DIVIDE THOSE! THERE'D BE NOTHING LEFT BUT SAD NIPS!"
Letting out a scream, Issei punched Vali with all his remaining strength, sending him crashing to the ground in a heap. Landing on the ground, but staggering, he panted and watched as Vali slowly got back to his feet.
"Interesting!" Vali grinned, his voice a bit high like he inhaled helium, as he saw Issei on his knees. "VERY interesting! Think you can handle something even stronger? Like my Juggernaut?"
"Forget it, Vali, this is not the right time for that." Albion spoke up.
Before anyone else could say anything, the sky seemed to break and a young man with a staff in hand landed next to Vali.
"Who?"
"Bikou, what are you doing here?" Vali asked in annoyance, his voice slowly returning to normal.
"Well, I saw you were having so much fun that I couldn't help myself. I just had to join in. Besides," he smirked at Vali, "we could use your help against the Northern Earth Gods."
"Who are you?" Issei asked as he stumbled forward.
"That's Bikou, the current Monkey King." Azazel said as he walked forward. "If you don't know, read Journey to the West, he's the latest incarnation of Son Goku."
Bikou laughed at that. "Yeah, well, it's time to go, Vali."
"Wait!" Ranma called out and stumbled forward, his left arm around his side, focusing on Bikou. "Tell me something, Monkey King, are others in your group as strong as you are?" Bikou blinked, confused, but nodded.
"Yeah, some are even stronger than me, sad as I am to admit it, why?"
Ranma suddenly grinned and pointed at him. "Then, I'll keep this short. This is an open invitation. Tell them that Ranma Saotome will take all of your pals on and I'll beat them all."
Bikou and Vali both stared at him in shock. The absolute confidence he had was astounding. "Very well," Vali nodded to Ranma, "I will, I'm sure Cao Cao will enjoy fighting you."
Bikou spun his staff and the two disappeared.
"Wait!" Issei cried out, his body giving out as his armor shattered into fragments of energy and he flopped onto the ground.
"Aiming to be the next Master, huh?" Azazel commented, surprise in his voice. "You have high aspirations."
Ranma smirked at the one-armed man. "Gotta have a goal, right?" Rias pushed past both of them, followed by her peerage.
Big, BIG shout out of thanks to KaristonDraconis for giving me inspiration to do the Ranma vs Vali portion.
Okay, so, Mr. Haziq, Ranma already knew he could fly, he was trying to keep it a secret that he's a Devil because he didn't know what kind of fallout that would bring. He didn't anticipate Vali doing what he did, however, so he did what he does best, jump in without thinking things all the way through.
Now, as for the Vali vs Issei scene, I had it remain the same as canon for two reasons. 1: It was a pretty well done scene and some of you have never seen the anime. And 2: The English dub was freaking HILARIOUS!
As for Ranma's power boost? Basically he just went and got a Super Saiyan 3 power boost without any experience handling energy at that level. Ironically, Issei would have had an easier time with it.
How can I forget? I almost forgot! Omake time!
Omake by Innortal
"Wow," Ranma murmured, as Vali was surprised the male wasn't feeling the effects of Divide. "I think you cut my credit card debt with that attack."
DIVIDE!
"... Look," Ranma said, holding up another piece of paper. "Now my cholesterol is down!"
Another Omake by Innortal
"Master?" Lilith tiredly asked.
"Vali used Divide on me," Ranma muttered. "I now understand why Issei nailed that one guy in the crotch."
"THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT!" cried the pawn of Rias.
"Sure it was," waved off Mittelt. "We totally believe you nailed a Phenix in his one weak spot, completely on accident."
Third Omake by Innortal (Yes, he went all out with this one)
"You are a devil!?" yelled Rias.
"Yeah, so?" Ranma asked.
"I understand, Master. She just wanted your children when you were half demon."
"I ... I don't think that was it, Lilith," Ranma sighed.
"Then why hasn't she demanded children from Issei?" she asked. "You were half human, half demon. He's half-human, half devil.
"She wanted you because you are forbidden fruit!"
"And I'm full devil!" yelled Issei. "Wait, what, baby!?"
Finally, an Omake by me, which, funny enough, came to me in a dream.
"Lord Vali!"
"What is it? I'm busy."
"You need to come back home!"
"Why?"
"Bikou was washing his hair."
"...Why should that interest me?"
"Because he just installed new pipes. From a... Jusenkyo or something."
Vali wondered why he felt like face-palming all of a sudden.