Dance With the Devil

Chapter 6

"ALOHA KEIKAIS!" A loud voice startled Cao Cao and Siegfried as they looked up and saw Indra walk in, followed by a teenaged girl in a school uniform with black hair and a taller, teenaged boy with shaggy brown hair wearing a kendoist outfit. "Da Big Kahuna is here! Ah hear dat a certain someone was a naughty bruddah, no?"

"...Why are you talking like that?" Cao Cao asked, confusion on his face while the boy behind Indra sighed.

"Forgive him, he became obsessed with gaijin culture during his stay in Hawaii."

"Now, now, Tatewaki, you be a good Little Kahuna and don't back-talk your old man, no?"

"WHAT?!" Cao Cao and Siegried yelped in shock.

Tatewaki sighed and rubbed his forehead. "As loathe as I am to admit it, this... Person is, indeed, my flesh and blood parent."

"Now, now, brother-dear." Kodachi smiled softly, "it's nice that we're all a family again, though I do wonder who let these people in. Sasuke? Are you sneaking out and playing with strangers again? Don't you remember what happened the last time you did that? Anything Goes Naked Greek Wrestling is lots of fun to watch, but I do not care to see you or my brother partake in that again."

Both Tatewaki and Sasuke shuddered at the memory of THAT incident.

"I don't want to know." Cao Cao rubbed his forehead and tried to fight off a headache. 'Seriously, what kind of lunatic came up with THAT kind of sport?'

"No, my lady, it was this fine elder gentleman," Sasuke motioned to Son Wukong, who was sitting in a comfy chair and smoking on his pipe, "who brought these two and two others here and let them in."

"Now Igor, you should have told me that the boss's daughter was such a pretty lady." Son Wukong chuckled and raised his pipe to Indra. "Hey, boss, found the little piece of crap after he went off the grid in Europe. Turns out that he discovered there were consequences for slinging his dick around everywhere in our world."

"Father..." Kodachi gave the Monkey King a disgusted look. "I do not know who he thinks he is, but I would kindly request that such a... Ruffian keep his more vulgar nature to a minimum."

Wukong grinned at her. "Very well."

Indra rubbed his forehead. "Anyway, Cao Cao, what happened to ya, bruddah?"

Cao Cao twitched and looked at his hands as his body shook with anger. "That... That bastard! Jedah betrayed us! He brought in Saotome and had him..."

"That foul Demon?" Tatewaki scoffed, causing Cao Cao to look up at him. "Verily, a cowardly magic user, he ran from my righteous fury over a year ago, otherwise I would have shown that foul Demon the errors of his ways for taking the Angel of my dreams away from me as well as hiding away the Fierce Tigress Akane Tendo."

Kodachi rubbed her forehead. "Brother dear, we went over this, insane cultists kidnapped Akane Tendo."

"You understand?" Cao Cao stood up and looked at Tatewaki with hope in his eyes. "What a dirty, cowardly, piece of garbage he truly is?"

Tatewaki nodded and walked over to Cao Cao. "Indeed. Such a foul coward shall not escape the Heaven's Wrath! For I shall..."

Whatever he was going to say was cut off as a wooden mallet slammed on his head, sending him to the floor. "Whoopsie!" Kodachi giggled softly. "Brother dear, please remember that you should be careful when you rant, random flying objects slam into your head."

"Nah uh!" Siegfried shook his head. "You hit him, I saw it."

Kodachi gave him an innocent look while her right arm twitched. "I have no idea what you mean, kind sir. Here, have some flowers from me." She tossed him a bouquet of black roses, which Siegfried caught out of reflex.

Indra just palmed his face as a small burst of gas escaped from the roses and Seigfried found himself twitching and falling to the ground in a heap. "Kodachi..."

"The fuck!?" Cao Cao yelled and pointed an angry finger at Kodachi. "What the hell did you do?"

"Oh dear!" Kodachi had a shocked look on her face. "Was that my bouquet full of paralysis gas? How horrible! I meant to give him the bouquet full of laughing gas instead!"

Son Wukong had a stiff smile on his face. "Well, remind me not to make you angry then." He looked at Cao Cao and chuckled. "Tell me something, boy..." The Monkey King sneered at the Longinus user, "are you beginning to understand what I told you?"

"Tatewaki, 'dachi, will you two leave and let De Big Kahuna talk to these two bruddahs?" Indra asked, getting a nod from the two.

"Very well, I have to practice for an upcoming kendo match anyway." Tatewaki said and walked out, his bokken slung over his shoulder while Kodachi smiled and quietly slipped out of the room.

After they were gone, Indra's more jovial attitude disappeared and he looked at Cao Cao and Son Wukong with a serious expression on his face. "What in the Great Abyss is going on?"

"About time you returned to normal." Wukong muttered before grabbing a lamp. "Hey, shitstain, catch."

"Huh?" Cao Cao turned and was flattened by the lamp that the Monkey King threw at him. "GAH! HEAVY!"

Indra raised an eyebrow. "What the..? That's just a basic lamp, a five year old can lift it." He looked at Wukong, who merely smirked at him. "What happened?"

"A five year old would have more strength than your boy here does." Walking over to Cao Cao, Son Wukong grabbed the lamp off of him, causing the weakened fighter to gasp and sit up, glaring at him. "Oh calm down. Anyway, remember when Azazel asked me to come to Kyoto a little while ago?" Indra nodded. "Well, when this chumbucket decided to go along with that purple condom's plan, he ended up nearly killing Princess Yasaka, who happens to be married to Ranma Saotome." Wukong chuckled as Indra had an understanding look on his face. "And apparently Saotome knows a really potent pressure point technique known as the Ultimate Weakness Moxibustion, right now," Wukong pointed at Cao Cao, "he's as weak as a newborn baby."

"Well... Shit." Indra summed it up nicely. "I suspect you know how to counter it?"

"I wouldn't be the patron saint of martial arts if I didn't." Wukong answered and took a slow drag of his pipe. "However, I have no intention of undoing it on him. Not yet at least. And boss, I know you need him in the future, but just undoing it will teach him nothing."

"So you want him to get Saotome's forgiveness, I take it?" Indra asked, getting a nod from the Monkey King. "Interesting reasoning."

"Even I had to learn humility from Sanzang back in the day." Son Wukong countered, causing Indra to nod. "It wouldn't hurt for him to learn some too."

"But you need me for your war with Shiva, don't you?!" Cao Cao protested, looking at Indra with his right hand over his chest while his left hand was waved to the side.

"You are really good and you've mastered the True Longinus, I admit." Indra nodded to him.

"Then..." Cao Cao's eyes began to glimmer with hope.

"But you aren't irreplaceable." Indra answered and crossed his arms, causing Cao Cao to stare at him in shock. "That being said, I'd rather not replace you if I don't have to." I do agree with Son Wukong though, a little humility never hurt anyone."

"A little?!" Cao Cao snarled in anger. "Ranma Saotome held me against that table with a serving plate! He killed Georg with some sort of poison, he made Heracles, Jeanne and Seigfried shit and puke themselves with another type of poison in public! I'd say we've been through enough humility!"

Indra chuckled at Cao Cao's anger. "Really? Think about this, Cao Cao, you nearly caused a man to lose his wife in front of him. Even that cheating, ungrateful bastard Zeus didn't put up with people trying to mess with his wife. Why do you think there are so few Gods between Greece and India? And the few that remained in that area were wiped out by Crom Cruach a long time ago."

Cao Cao was silent, he knew that the Middle East used to have plenty of Gods in ancient times, but he had never figured out why almost all of them had disappeared over the centuries.

"No, go ahead, make a mess around the Moonlight World if you want to, so long as you don't get taken down, it's fine, right?" Indra smirked at him. "Except that even those of us on the top get taken down eventually. Even Ophis, the strongest being in this world, was recently reported as being crippled and weak right now." Cao Cao's eyes widened in shock and he took a step back. "It's not well known, but I was paying attention to what happened in Europe after Saotome joined Jedah."

"Wait! So you knew that Jedah betrayed us?! You knew about what Saotome did to me!?" Cao Cao yelled, shocked and Indra nodded and adjusted his shades.

"Yep. Benefit of being a top-tier God." Indra smirked at him. "But even Ophis was brought down by a Devil who's weaker than the current crop of Devil Kings," though Indra knew that Jedah was most certainly in their class of power and ability, "and you know how humans in the stories always beat the stronger mythological creatures. Sadly, my hands were tied. If Saotome joined Jedah willingly, what could I do? If I made a move I would risk drawing Shiva's attention, and he's partial to the great alliance between Heaven and Hell's two factions." Indra had seen how it had been a ruse while watching the final interactions of Azazel's group and had found it amusing enough to not interfere even after the fact. "Of course, those cunning bastards of that alliance knew I couldn't make a move, which is what they were counting on." Cao Cao gave him a confused look and Indra rolled his eyes. "The whole joining Jedah was a ruse to break up the Khaos Brigade without any of its backers being able to make a move to stop it."

Cao Cao let out a "tch" of annoyance. "So what am I supposed to do?! Aren't you one of the big ten powers in this world? Can't you do something?"

"I could easily force him to give you back your strength." Indra said, "or Goku here could undo the pressure point himself, but if that happens, what's to stop you from fighting Saotome the next time you see him?"

"I could beat him one on one with my strength back."

"You sure?" Son Wukong gave Cao Cao a smug grin.

"What's with the 'I know something you don't know' look?" Cao Cao gave the elder Youkai an annoyed look.

"Oh, just that Saotome was supposedly learning from The Master." Cao Cao jerked in shock. "Yep, the same Master that refused to even see you and had that Evil Dragon kick you and your entire squad off the island."

"If I'm honest," Indra smirked as he heard the front door to his human home open up, "I think you and your team could all use something to drive home the point of humility."

"Hey, we're back and..." Heracles trailed off as he and Jeanne walked into the living room. "...Why is Siegfried on the ground?"

Siegfried just gurgled out a response.

"He had an unfortunate run-in with a master of using various chemicals and poisons in attacks." Indra didn't look the least bit concerned. "He'll be fine in a few hours."

"Oh." Heracles nodded slowly. "So, what's going on?"

"Jeanne, Heracles..." Indra smirked at them. "I want you two and Cao Cao to follow after me."

The two looked at each other in confusion, but followed after Indra and Cao Cao.

Sitting in his chair still, Son Wukong took a slow drag of his pipe. "So, Igor..."

"Sasuke," the small ninja muttered softly as he came out from behind a curtain. "And what do you want?"

"How screwed are they?" Wukong chuckled as Sasuke thought about it for awhile.

"On a scale of stepping on a lego barefooted to being stripped, shaved, tattooed and being forced to walk home like that in the middle of broad daylight, I'd say... Getting on Mistress Kodachi's bad side when it's that time of the month."

"...Ouch." Was all Son Wukong could say to that.

(-)

"So what's with this?" Heracles asked as they walked into a large dojo. "Going to make us break wooden bricks or something?"

Indra smirked as he saw Tatewaki going through various forms while Kodachi sat not far away watching him. "Ah good, both of the wahinines are here." Both of his children looked at him. "Koda-chan, Tatewaki, see dis here bruddah and sistah?" He looked back at Heracles and Jeanne, "dey tink dat dey be hot magma, so De Big Kahuna thinks that you two should teach deese two some proper manners, no?"

Heracles scoffed. "Fighting a bunch of children isn't my idea of fun."

"And who got their ass kicked by a bunch of middle schoolers?" Jeanne shot back, grinning as she pulled out her rapier. "Fine, if the boss wants me to show that I haven't lost my edge at all, I'll put on a show for him."

"A woman who follows the way of the sword? And a very fine one at that." Tatewaki nodded as he looked at Jeanne. "Very well, shall you prove yourself worthy, I shall allow you to date me."

Jeanne had a look of disgust on her face. "Eww, no thanks."

Tatewaki blinked in confusion. "Forsooth, who has you under their spell of mind control?"

"No one." Jeanne said, giving him a deadpan look. "I just don't like guys who think they're hot shit and demand that I give them attention because they find me pretty. At this rate I might as well date women."

"I shall show you the errof of your thinking, have at thee!" Tatewaki rushed forward and his wooden sword clashed on Jeanne's rapier, much to both her and Heracles's surprise.

"Oh, remember, Little Kahuna!" Indra grinned at Tatewaki. "If ya hold back, imma shave ya bald."

"NOOOO!" Tatewaki's eyes went white and blank as he struck at Jeanne over and over, thrusting, slashing and striking at speeds that Jeanne found somewhat impressive.

"Not bad, but Angel-chan was faster when we fought in Kyoto." Jeanne smirked as she jumped back and slashed outwards, sending a wave of swords erupting from the floor at Tatewaki.

"Oh dear." Kodachi shook her head. "She made a mistake."

A gleam came to Tatewaki's eyes as his wooden sword glowed blue and crackled with lightning.

Indra smirked as he watched Tatewaki swing his sword down, a blue wave of energy and electricity washing out, destroying the swords and sending the shocked French maiden flying into the far wall, stunning her stupidly. "And dat be a win for de Little Kahuna, no?"

"The hell was that?!" Heracles yelped in shock as Indra chuckled in amusement.

"Results of training dem seriously." Indra smirked at Heracles. "Care to try mah little wahinine?"

"Why, father, I can't believe you would be so kind as to ask." Kodachi smiled at Heracles, who held up his hands and stepped back.

"No thanks, I think I'll just cut my losses here and not get humiliated in front of everyone." Heracles was many things, completely stupid was not one of them.

"Ah well, I was hoping ya could make an honest wahinine out of mah Koda-chan." Indra sighed dramatically as Heracles twitched while Kodachi gave her father an annoyed look. "But enough of dat! Jeanne!" He turned to look at the French girl as she groggily got to her feet. "Ya can marry de Little Kahuna."

"WHAT?!" Jeanne yelled while Tatewaki looked her up and down.

"Hmm, very comely, very well, I shall make preparations for the wedding." Tatewaki nodded. "However, while I shall wed and be your husband, I apologize that my heart shall always belong to the Fierce Tigress Akane Tendou."

Jeanne twitched in anger. "I never agreed to this!"

"Nonsense!" Indra clapped his hands and smiled at her. "Ya agreed ta listen to de Big Kahuna here and I be saying dat you be marrying mah boy."

"Excellent!" Kodachi clapped her hands together. "I shall help prepare for the wedding, shall we have it in one year? Surely that will be enough time for Jeanne here to get up to speed on what it means to be a Kuno, as well as make sure to get all the invites for the guests."

Jeanne twitched several times. "Hey! I never agreed to anything!"

"Oh posh!" Kodachi dismissed her concerns as she turned to leave the room. "Surely you just need time. Once you see how superior it is to be a part of the House of Kuno, plus, despite my brother's... Outward exterior, he really is someone whom any woman would be quite... Lucky to have as a husband. OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

Jeanne cringed and looked at Indra, who was merely giving her an amused look. "...You're punishing me for something, aren't you?"

"De Big Kahuna has spoken, and thus is final!" Indra laughed as he left the room, followed by Cao Cao, Heracles and Kodachi.

Jeanne looked at Tatewaki and grimaced. "Can't believe mother was right." She grumbled, remembering that her mother had said that if she didn't find a man before she was out of high school that one would be found for her.

"I understand." Tatewaki nodded at her, causing Jeanne to look at him in surprise. "You are flummoxed by my manliness and do not understand how to deal with it. Many women are. I shall leave so that you can get your feelings under control."

"But that... Not..." Jeanne stuttered, her mind not providing her with information on how to respond to that.

"Worry not, my future bride!" Tatewaki spread his arms wide. "For soon you shall come to love me and cast off your foolish fears." He left the room, muttering something about needing to plan for the wedding.

"I NEVER AGREED TO ANYTHING!" Jeanne screamed, her anger at its limit. "NOR AM I INTERESTED IN YOU!"

Sadly there was no one in the room to listen to her scream.

(-)

Sun Wukong looked up as his boss, Cao Cao, and Heracles entered the room. After hearing about what happened, he laughed in amusement. "So, how much of that was to motivate her to work harder and be better in battle, and how much was to dump your son on someone?"

"A third each, with the final third being the joy of messing with minions," Indra smiled. "After all, if you have peons, isn't it just to mess with them?"

The Monkey King sighed, as he took a puff from his pipe. "She will try and kill him, you know."

"Either way, I win."

"...Watching you, I realize I did pretty damn well raising my own."

"See?" asked Indra, before he pointed to himself. "Winning."

"You just did that to mess with her?" Cao Cao asked, bewilderment in his voice.

"Godly privilege." Indra smirked at him. "And who knows? Maybe they might surprise me and actually make it work." He might have liked to mess with his kids and the people of this district of Japan, but he ultimately wanted what was best for as many people as possible.

Cao Cao sighed and slumped to the ground, causing Indra to look at him curiously. "Have you always been insane and we never noticed or are you just putting on an act?"

"Don't prescribe to me your values of what is or is not sanity." Indra spoke up, his eyes looking at Cao Cao sharply, causing the weakened Longinus user to stiffen. "I'm not human, nor have I ever been human, I see things differently than you do. I'm partially messing with everyone for my own amusement after all." He smirked at the looks he got from Heracles and Cao Cao. "Plus it's good to live among mortals every so often and get swept up in their silliness."

"So now what happens?" Heracles asked, causing Indra to smirk at him.

"Now? Simple, you're to spar with my son so he gets used to fighting people with different styles. As for getting your strength back, Cao Cao..." He looked at Wukong, who merely nodded his head, "we'll go and see Saotome in a bit." Cao Cao looked at him in surprise. "There are reasons I haven't taken Shiva on yet. Anyway," he waved them off. "Go and enjoy yourselves for a few days."

Cao Cao sighed as he looked at the ground. 'All my strength, gone in an instant, I haven't been able to relax since I lost it. Is... Is this as far as I can go on my own? I...' Images of his fight in Kyoto came to his mind and he grimaced. 'How could I be such a freaking moron?! Of course Saotome would find a way to get revenge on me.'

And the worst part was, Cao Cao knew he deserved every bit of Karma that was coming his way.

Watching him, Son Wukong smirked, he could see that the idiot was starting to realize that the way he had been doing things didn't fly anymore in the world. 'I think I'll buy that Saotome kid a good drink the next time I see him.' He had tried for years to beat humility into Cao Cao, so it was actually refreshing to see that Indra's next vanguard was finally starting to understand just what was needed.

Not only to ascend to the realm of the Gods, but also to become a true Hero.

(-)

It was a few hours later that Kodachi found herself walking past the family dojo when she stopped by the open door. "Hmm?" Peeking in, she saw her brother's new fiance working through various fencing katas as she faced off against imaginary opponents. 'Not bad, very quick and precise forms.'

She was about to leave when she heard the blonde French girl start talking about her father.

"Yes, that must be it!" Jeanne nodded, remembering the legends of Indra and how he disrupted monks that meditated and were on the path to Nirvana, because he feared humans that achieved it could reach levels even higher than him. "Since he knows that guy bothers me, he engaged us because he's worried that I'll get stronger than him! Yes! Now I just need to get rid of that fool so I can achieve that level of power!"

Kodachi shook her head and stepped away from the dojo with a solemn look on her face. "Such a delusional fantasy she has there." Her face suddenly broke into a grin. "She'll fit right in with my family! OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

End Chapter 6

Well, that's terrifying.