Gabrielle found herself becoming angered by the feeling that Xena was trying to shelter her again as she held Xena's arm. Stopping her from walking away from the scene of Xena's past self still fighting and taking down her opponents without giving them a second thought as she carved her way through them and they fell one by one in a mess of blood, guts and carnage around them.
GABRIELLE
(Angry tone) You're doing it again. Being overly proactive of me. We're not even in actual danger here Xena. So now you think that I'm so fragile that I can't even handle seeing things like this?
Xena pulled her arm from Gabrielle's grip.
XENA
Forget it Gabrielle. I'm not discussing this any further. We're not staying here and watching this. We're done here.
Gabrielle found herself becoming more angerd and was about to say something when she stopped and realized a painful look in Xena's eyes. It was at that moment when it finally occurred to Gabrielle that Xena's wanting to stop the visions wasn't just for her sake. It was now clear to Gabrielle that actually having to witness these things again was more difficult for Xena than she had realized. And Gabrielle felt terrible for not seeing that sooner.
GABRIELLE
Xena... I'm sorry. I should've known that seeing all of this would have a large impact on you. I guess going from just remembering things and seeing them with you own eyes from the outside must be hard.
Gabrielle reached up to touch Xena's cheek but Xena turned away. Not only from Gabrielle but from the spector of her past self as the vision ruthlessly carved through her opponents without a shred of remorse. Gabrielle looked beyond the Xena she knew as she watched the scene play out. The vision of the past Xena moved through the area as she fought along side her army. She let out an angry and exhilarated yell as she plunged the blade of her sword into one of her enemies. Blood spattered on her as well as the ground around her when she tore the blade from the man's stomach. Gabrielle watched as the man then gripped at his midsection. Blood flowed from his mouth and the gaping wound in his stomach as he dropped to his knees and fought to keep his insides from spilling out. Meanwhile the past Xena looked at him with a completely remorseless expansion. Instead she just gave a sinister and feral smile as she drove her boot into his chin and knocked him flat on his back. Gabrielle was unable to look away as the Xena of the past stared down at the helpless, dying man for a moment before moving on to another enemy and leaving the man to suffer his gruesome fate.
LYCEUS
It's not an easy thing to witness for yourself is it?
Gabrielle jumped, startled by the spirit suddenly appearing beside her and the actual Xena. She didn't know what to say. Xena was right. Knowing about something like this and seeing it truly was different. But even so Gabrielle was determined to not let that change the way she felt about the person that Xena was now. After all the Xena that Gabrielle had just watched brutally kill her opponents moments ago and the Xena right beside her were completely different people. They may have looked the same physically but Gabrielle knew that inside Xena was no longer that woman who had just carved her way through those men without mercy. Gabrielle was about to say something when she and Xena heard Cora's voice echo around them again.
CORA
I think that's enough for today. Give me a moment and I'll bring you both back.
Gabrielle looked at Xena who refused to meet her eye to eye. She then looked at the spirit that had been guiding them.
LYCEUS
I guess I'll see you both later.
The spirit saw the expression on Xena's face that looked like a combination of sorrow, anger, pain remorse and defeat.
LYCEUS
Well, maybe.
Then before Gabrielle knew what was happening she was opening her eyes and saw that she was looking up at the roof of Cora's house. She slowly sat up and looked beside her to see Xena doing the same.
CORA
Welcome back.
GABRIELLE
Xena, are you okay?
Xena didn't look at her.
XENA
Yeah, I'm alright.
CORA
Sorry. I told you this wouldn't be easy.
XENA
(Sarcasm) You can say that again.
After taking a bit to get their barrings, Xena and Gabrielle stood up.
CORA
Well why don't you go home, talk things over if you need to and rest. And you still want to we'll continue this tomorrow.
XENA
Alright.
Xena and Gabrielle begin to leave when Gabrielle stopped and turned back towards Cora.
GABRIELLE
Hey why did we only see stuff for Xena while we were there today?
Cora shrugged.
CORA
Who's to say. You're shown things that are deemed important for revealing your truths to one another. You can't control what's shown to you or when. I'm sure you'll have your turn when the spirits decide it's time.
GABRIELLE
Oh. Okay.
CORA
Now go on home I don't think you've noticed but it's pretty late now.
Gabrielle glanced out the window and was shocked to see that the sky had already grown dark.
GABRIELLE
Cora were we in there all day?!
CORA
Time works differently in the spirit realm Gabrielle. It's very inconsistent. Sometimes a whole day can pass out here and yet it'll only feel like a few hours or even less there. Then at other times it can seem as though you've spent days or even weeks on that side. But then you'll come back and see that only several hours have gone by in reality.
Gabrielle shook her head in disbelief as she found herself suddenly becoming very tired. Cora noticed this and decided to offer up an explanation for the question that she already knew was on Gabrielle's mind.
CORA
Don't worry feeling fatigued after spending any extended period of time within the spirit realm is normal. More so if the person is dealing with anything that might be particularly stressful while there. Just get a good night's sleep and you'll be fine.
GABRIELLE
Okay. Thanks.
(Thinking to herself) Gods if I feel this tired, I can't imagine how exhausted Xena must be feeling after reliving all of that.
After saying goodnight to Cora, Gabrielle caught up with Xena as they returned home. After releaving Skyla and Clover of their voluntary babysitting duties until the next day, checking on the well cared for and sleeping Aurora, Xena and Gabrielle ate a small dinner and went to bed. Xena didn't say much about what they saw other than that she was sorry for Gabrielle having to had seen it. Even though Gabrielle had known about Xena's past, actually seeing it for herself had scared her. The look in Xena's eyes, it was so cold and unfeeling. Almost non human. Gabrielle could practically feel the rage and hatred that the vision had been showing. Taking a breath to calm herself down and push aside the memory of the day's events, Gabrielle looked up into the darkness as she layed in bed beside Xena who layed with her back facing Gabrielle so she couldn't tell if Xena was asleep or not. Gabrielle wanted to reach over and feel the safety and security of Xena's arms around her that had always seemed to make even the worst days feel better. But as Gabrielle was about to touch Xena's arm she slowly pulled her hand back.
GABRIELLE
(Thinking to herself) Really Gabrielle you want Xena to comfort you right now. Xena's the one who had to relive one of the most traumatic points of her life today and here you are acting like a frightened child who had a bad dream a wants to be held. Grow up!
With those words echoing in her head, Gabrielle turned to her side with her back facing Xena and closed her eyes. Moments later Xena opened her eyes and looked at Gabrielle for a moment.
XENA
(Thinking to herself) I knew that this was a bad idea. Gabrielle doesn't even want me to touch her now. Not that I blame her after seeing that today. If this keeps up I'm gonna lose her. I'll talk to her tomorrow. Maybe I can change her mind about continuing these tests. I love her. I can't lose her after everything we've gone through together already. Not like this.
With that final thought Xena closed her again and drifted off to sleep. Unaware of the true reason for Gabrielle's behavior that in the coming days was only going to become more confusing for Xena that would cause her to question if they were doing the right thing even further.
TO BE CONTINUED...