A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for all of you that are following the story! I hope you find it interesting so far. I promise, it won't be all fluff. I'm building up to some conflict, I promise lol Enjoy!
Marrying the Monster
Chapter 6: Morning Meal
A knock came at the door and Rey jumped and retracted her hand from Kylo. "Come in," he called, sitting back down on the bed with a sigh.
Rose walked through the door, holding a tray with a couple of cloches and a couple of drinks. She smiled wide at the two, but it got bigger when she saw Rey's curious look. "Master, my lady... I've brought you breakfast," she said as she set the tray on the table in the sitting area. She started to take the food off the tray, setting the place settings with a small smile.
"Rose... we can come down-"
"I offered, and the master accepted," she said as she finished the setting, a cloche on each mat. Rey glanced over at Kylo, but Rose cleared her throat to gain their attention. "Besides... you did say you wanted to stay here with him while he recovered. And it would be difficult for him to go up and down the stairs a day after you stitched him up."
Rey huffed and nodded in defeat. "Thank you, Rose."
Rose smiled and dismissed herself. Rey flicked her eyes over at Kylo. He hesitantly stood, holding his side as the stitches pulled angrily against his skin. He winced for a moment and sighed once Rey helped him the rest of the way. This was so irritating. If he knew how to tap into the healing powers of the force, he'd do it, but he hadn't learned that part yet. All he knew was how to manipulate it in battle or other nonsensical things. He walked silently over to the table, pulling out a chair for Rey. She followed quietly, wondering what was going on in his head, as she sat down and allowed him to push her in. He sat across from her and removed their two cloches, revealing eggs and bacon and grits.
Rey couldn't help but smile at the food. She grabbed a fork and picked at her eggs quietly. "Is there something you wish to discuss?" he asked, noticing her hesitation.
She sighed softly, setting the fork down and folding her hands in her lap. "I'm still upset with you." Kylo paused as he took a bite of his eggs. He slowly chewed, waiting for her to continue and wondering where this was going to go. Rey let out a heavy sigh as she looked up at him. "I don't know who you are. I don't know what your intentions are. Until just last night, I didn't even know your name. So..."
"So...?" he asked, looking her in the eye after what seemed like forever.
"So... I want to know more about you." He let out a small airy sound that sounded like a scoff mixed with a laugh. "I know you said we don't need to learn everything immediately... and I know you said we have our whole lives to learn, but I need to at least know what's false and what's real."
Kylo was silent for a moment before he set his fork down, too. "Ok."
Rey looked at him then, eyes slightly wider. "Ok?"
Kylo nodded. "Ok. Where would you like to start?"
Rey smiled warmly. "Who were the people on the fountain in the garden?"
He bristled at the first question, instantly regretting the agreement. He leaned back with a sigh, glaring at his plate. "Of all the questions you pick to start out with..." he sighed. After a moment, he shrugged and decided to take a bite of his eggs again. "My parents."
Her eyes widened. "What is the fountain doing here? Didn't you say you were abandoned and had to start all over to build what you had?"
Kylo nodded quietly. "I did have to build everything I had." He looked up at her, his eyes staring straight into hers as he emphasized the truth.
Her lips curled into an affectionate smile. "You built that in memory of your parents?" Kylo took another bite, not making any sign to answer that question she'd already figured out on her own. "So... if you built that in honor of your parents... did you really kill them as suggested?"
He stiffened again at the hard-hitting question. It was beginning to occur to him that he wasn't very comfortable sharing about himself as he originally thought he would be. He cleared his throat as he sighed, taking the coffee into his hands and staring down at it like it kicked his dog. Rey was patiently waiting for an answer, knowing that he wasn't used to opening up, especially since no one even knew what he looked like in the south. She debated taking his hand, but decided against it as she fiddled with the cloak at her leg as she waited. "Yes." Her eyes darted over to him then, a million thoughts rushing through her head a minute. "As rumored, I killed my father."
The breath left her lungs like someone just stole the life from her. So, he did kill his father. But not his mother. That was a little better than the full rumor, but the fact still remained: he killed his father. But why? She didn't know how to ask, nor what to ask on the topic. She had her answer, but what would she do with it? Did she still want out after the year? Was she worried he would kill her, too, if she stepped out of line? She pressed her lips into a thin line and decided that she wouldn't push it. He was clearly uncomfortable with this topic, so she wouldn't ask him to expound on it. She hesitantly reached forward and grabbed her coffee. She sipped it carefully, thinking about another question, though she had to admit that she was shocked to know that at least one rumor was true.
As she remained quiet, a small thunderstorm turned into a massive torrent of emotions within Kylo's brain as he wondered what she was thinking. Would she run screaming? Would she try to kill him in his sleep? Did she regret saving him? Did she think that their day in the market was just a facade? The more he thought about all of these questions and what-ifs, the angrier he got. Her silence was doing nothing for his sanity. He finally cleared his throat, setting the coffee cup down rather aggressively, and scooting his chair out. "Well, if there's nothing else, I'm going," he said as he went to turn on his heel. A sudden hand on his stopped him, causing him to pause and glance back. He saw her holding onto him gently. He wondered what was going through her head once again. She didn't say a word, yet she didn't want him to go? He looked at the warmth of her hand on his. It was such a welcomed feeling, but it also scared the mess out of him.
"I'm sorry," she said suddenly. It was barely above a whisper, making him wonder if he had, in fact, heard it. He stayed where he was, not daring to move. He didn't know if she was scared of him, or if she was just taking a moment to process, but her silence was what was bothering him the most. As if sensing his uneasiness, her grip tightened just a little on his fingers. "Can we... still talk?" she asked, flicking her eyes up at him, as if silently pleading with him not to leave. It nearly knocked the wind from him, but he sighed softly and sat down. She didn't let go of his hand though, and he wasn't about to pull away. Maybe this was her way of anchoring or something.
As his eyes landed on her, her eyes stayed glued on their hands. She idly played with his fingers, as if getting to know the callouses from all his years of handling a sword. She silently compared the size of his hands in her head, noticing that they were significantly larger than her own. They were warm. Slightly rough. No doubt he'd taken countless lives with these hands. Fought in many battles with these hands. Had he done good with these hands? "I know you... must have had your reasons... so I'm not going to ask why you did it..." He visibly relaxed a little. She let out a small sigh. "How many have you killed without reason?"
"None." She looked at him, scanning him for any signs of lying. She supposed the question was rather vague, considering reason was relative. Anyone could come up with a justifiable reason for anything if they really wanted. And once they believed that reason, it was fine. "I could have been more lenient with some, but killing unnecessarily isn't something I make a habit of doing."
Rey nodded. "Why did you agree to this marriage alliance... when you're so irritated with the south?"
That one was complicated to answer. He thought about it for a moment, choosing his words very carefully. How would he answer that? As he racked his brain, trying to come up with a delicate answer, he decided that truthfulness was better than sugar-coating it. He shrugged with a sigh. "No one likes war, Rey. This war isn't without reason." He hesitated for a moment as he glared down at the table. "Luke destroyed my life. He's to blame for all of this. This may seem petty to you, but it means everything to me. That man has never struggled the way he made me struggle when he shipped me off with nowhere to go to fend for myself. I want him to suffer the way he made me suffer."
Rey nodded quietly, completely understanding where he was coming from in more ways than one. "I understand how you feel," she said softly.
He scoffed. "I doubt that." She shot a look over at him then. How dare he. He shook his head. "How could you? All you were asked to do was marry me."
She snatched her hand away from him then. "Luke abandoned me, too!" she hissed. She shook her head in irritation, crossing her arms over her chest. Her fingers dug into her arms in anger as she struggled to control her temper. She usually wasn't an angry person, but she was dealing with her own emotional turmoil, too. She didn't even get a chance to unload all of it. She didn't even get to process all of the emotions objectively before this situation happened. Before he came in and started attacking her, assuming all she was asked to do was marry the monster.
"So that's how you feel about being here," he said more as a comment than a question.
She glared over at him. "Well, it's abundantly clear how you feel about why I'm here," she countered angrily. He inwardly flinched at her tone, realizing what he'd done to make her feel less significant. She huffed, glaring down at the floor, refusing to meet his eyes again. "I didn't want to come here. I kept thinking, 'what if I can't be the person he wants me to be?' 'What if I marry him and the war never ends?' 'What if I die?' I was forced to come here, yes, but I've come to appreciate the north more than the south. While I was here, I realized that Luke had gotten rid of me, too. I thought I did everything right as his adopted daughter. I thought I did everything I was supposed to. The only thing I didn't do right was prefer pants." She scoffed as her arms dropped from her chest, coming to fold in her lap.
"Knowing Luke, you probably did something else you're not aware of."
She scoffed as she turned her gaze to him. "You... are so insensitive!" He quirked a brow at her as if she just put that together. She shook her head in disbelief. "I've been trying to give you the benefit of the doubt this whole time, but you. You just say whatever you want without any regard to anyone else's feelings. Has living here really made you so callous?"
"I wasn't being callous, Rey. I was being honest." It was then that he noticed tears forming in her eyes. He sighed as he offered his hand, causing her to look at him incredulously. Was he insane? After he just insulted her, he wants to hold her hand again? How high was this guy? How high was she? Her body reacted on its own as she felt her hand twitch, wanting to take his hand again. "Listen... I only meant that Luke never fully discloses his reasons. You can beat yourself up about preferring pants, but to me, that doesn't matter. I don't think it would matter to Luke either, but he does care more about appearances."
"That still doesn't change my mind. I don't understand..." she sighed as she took his hand.
"You're not going to. Not now at least. He had an ulterior motive for sending you here. A motive neither of us know about, apparently."
She felt her conscience prick at that, but she made sure to keep it to herself. She let out a sigh after a few minutes. "Actually... I think I know why he's mad at me..." she said softly, earning Kylo's attention. "Before I left..." What was she doing?! "Before I left, he asked me to..." She needed to stop! She couldn't say this to him. It would only serve to extend the war, especially with how mad he was at Luke. "Before I left, Luke asked me to seduce you." The anger that flashed through his eyes scared her. It was something she'd never seen before, nor did she want to see again. She felt him wanting to pull away from her, but she held tight. "Ren... I refused."
He let out a shaky breath, as if trying to compose himself. He turned his glare to her, making her wonder what he was about to unleash on her. "The war will only be over once I kill him," he said as he looked down at their hands. He expected her to retract her hand, but she didn't. She stayed where she was.
"I understand your reasoning, Ren... really, I do... but..." She sighed heavily as she looked up at him. "You can't."
"Why not? The south already thinks I'm a monster. You said so yourself."
"You can't prove them right!" she exclaimed with a small huff. She leaned closer over the table. "You don't need to feed the rumors, Ren. You're better than that." He stared into her green eyes before letting out a small sigh. He curtly nodded his head, not really agreeing with this plan, but deciding not to push it. He'd bring it up to her later. Or he'd just do it without her knowing. Either way worked. But her words affected him more than he wanted them to. She thought he was better than that, but what if he wasn't? He had every reason to want to kill Luke and get it over with for what he'd done to him, but this girl... she made him feel like he could be something better. Could he?
"What else did you want to ask me?" he asked, deciding to change the subject. It was safer that way.
She thought for a moment. "Why does no one know what you look like?"
He scoffed. "I wear a helmet whenever I need to make an appearance. There's only a handful of trusted merchants that know my face. All the civilians..." he said as he shook his head and shrugged.
"So it was sort of true that no one knew what you looked like?"
"It's safer that way. No one would dare come after the Knights. And they certainly can't pick us off one at a time until they get lucky and find me."
"So you're trying to protect the Knights?" she asked quickly. He hesitantly nodded. He'd never thought of it that way, but he supposed he was. She gave him a small smile.
"I'm not as noble as you think I am so you can stop smiling at me like that," he said gruffly, averting his sight. He wasn't able to look at her give him that look. He hardly deserved it. He definitely wouldn't take the acknowledgment of being noble or self-sacrificing because he certainly wasn't. He was only looking after the Knights because it was a mutual understanding they'd protect each other. This castle was just as much theirs as it was his.
"Still... it's very admirable. The relationship you have with the Knights is a rare one." He shrugged it off, earning him a small laugh. "Oh, there is something I'd like to ask..." He flicked his eyes over to her again. "You were called the Supreme Leader... but there's an emperor, too?"
Kylo gave her a small smirk. "That's not something you should worry about right now." She gave him a curious glance, but she didn't push it. "Any other questions? Or can I ask some of my own?" he teased. She blushed and nodded timidly. "Why did you agree to this marriage? You could have run away and chose to hide out somewhere, so why go through with it?"
She hadn't thought about that, but she knew even if she had thought about it, it would not be an option for her. "Like I said before... the people are suffering because all money is going toward the war effort. The sooner this war ends, the sooner the people can live comfortably again. If the south and north reach an impasse and decide to call a truce, it would be better for the people. The north doesn't seem to be as affected as the south. The people are suffering," she said softly.
"And you truly care about those people?"
She nodded. "I don't know them all... but the ones I've come to know are precious to me and I don't want them to suffer anymore. If I can help, even just a little, I want to."
"Even if it meant marching to your death to marry a power hungry, blood thirsty demon?" he asked, partially parroting her words from earlier.
She flinched at that before she let out a heavy sigh. "Even if it meant that, yes. I'm expendable anyway, so at least I would have died doing something to try to help the people I care about." She stared into his dark eyes for a moment. "I know there's no way I can change anyone's minds... but I had to at least try."
He nodded at her. "The man you arrived with... the arrogant one..."
"Poe? He's harmless."
He scoffed at that. "Right... So anyone that looks at you like he wants to steal you away is harmless?"
"It's not like that with Poe." Was it?
He stared at her seriously. "I know that look. He's just as unhappy about this marriage alliance as you are. If he had his way about it, it would him you were marrying; not me."
Rey blushed as her mouth hung agape slightly. "N-no, you're wrong. He doesn't feel that way-"
"How do you know?" She faltered for a moment. She averted her sight from him, thinking deeply about his words. He didn't like that man. He had something up his sleeve and he didn't like it. He could clearly see that this Poe was using her just as much as Luke was. He just didn't know what for.
"Even if he did feel that way... I have no intention of pursuing that. It's completely one-sided, if it's true." She looked back up at him, eyes shining with determination and tenacity. He loved that look. It definitely suited her. She was so spirited. Not many women were like that. He greatly appreciated having her how she was. He could honestly see himself learning to develop affection for her. He gave her a nod of understanding. "You do realize that you basically told me you were here when I arrived and chose to avoid me?"
He shrugged. "It would have come out eventually. At least you heard it straight from me." She gave him a small smile and shook her head. "Are you nervous about tomorrow?"
She thought about it for a long moment. He partly wondered if she heard him, but just as he almost gave up, she let out a small sigh and shook her head. "I was before... but not now."
"Why?"
"Because I know who I'm marrying now," she said with a small grin.
"You think you do," he teased.
"I know enough to not be nervous."
"You say that now. Give it time," he said in a low voice.
"What about you? Are you nervous?" she asked, deciding not to think more on her own nervousness.
He shrugged. "It's pretty much a contract. What's there to be nervous about?" Famous last words, she silently noted. Usually when someone asked a question like that, they quickly received the answer. There came a knock at the door, causing Rey to jump and retract her hand. He quirked a brow at her and saw her blushing as she pulled the cloak around her, suddenly becoming self-conscious of her attire. He beckoned the person the other end of the door to come in, turning his sight to the door.
The door opened quietly and Paige stepped in with a curtsy. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but Lady Rey, you've received a letter," she said as she walked into the room, presenting a tray with the letter placed in it. Rey hesitantly took it and looked at the grey envelope. Her eyes narrowed as she recognized the writing. It was from-
"Luke," he spat. She darted her eyes up at him and felt the color drain from her face as she nodded. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation. "You can go. It's probably best to start the day anyway." He stood from his seat, completely ignoring the pulling of the stitches in his side.
She looked at Paige and saw her furiously shaking her head and nodding for Rey to follow her. Rey looked back at Kylo, who had turned his back to her to stare out the window. She sensed his anger rolling off of him in waves, flooding the room with a deadly aura that would kill a small tribe. She stood quietly from her chair and walked over to him, putting her hand on his arm. She noticed that he stiffened under her touch, but she didn't pull away. "Thank you. It was nice to talk to you, Ren," she said as she smiled up at him.
He nodded quietly. "When you're ready, go see Hux in the library. He'll teach you what you'll be taking over." He glanced down at her to see that smile that struck something in him. He could look at that smile all day if she'd let him. She definitely wore it well, he decided. "Breakfast was... nice," he said quietly between the two of them.
She smiled warmly up at him. "See you later," she said as she slipped away with Paige. The maid looked between the two of them and gave a small smile with a shake of her head, not knowing what happened between them, but grateful whatever happened didn't end in a bloodbath or Rey leaving suddenly and calling off the wedding.
