Chapter 4
Merlin was not her doom. He was not under her love spell. There was a prophecy they would share a great love and bring about Albion. She had a choice.
The part of Morgana that had been influenced by Morgause, snarled and wanted to slap Merlin for having magic, not helping her, springing all this information about prophecies she had never heard about and giving her an ultimatum of life or death. Her sister's voice was screaming in her head that the only way to bring magic back was to destroy Uther, destroy Arthur, and rule Camelot herself.
Her Pendragon side didn't help and rose to blame Merlin for everything; for all that could have been, all the pain that could have been avoided.
"Even the Caileach had said Merlin was her destiny and those words were taking on a whole new meaning in the light of what Merlin had just said.
The love spell from her mother filled her with something she had not felt since Gorlois had died. Her mother had sent Merlin as Emrys to "save her?"
Morgana couldn't move and struggled to control her breathing and her emotions. She saw Merlin's defensive posture and felt his power preventing any movement and magic.
Morgana struggled until she realized something else. She had given Merlin the love potion. He should be groveling at her feet, begging to please and satisfy her every whim.
Her curiosity that had always been greater than her fear got the better of her. Here he was offering to be her ally. This wasn't the love spell talking. This didn't sound like the doom Morgana had been focusing on since she sacrificed Morgause, tore the veil, and heard the Caileach speak.
Morgana replayed the Caileach's complete phrase in her mind, then under her breath. "Emrys will walk in your shadow, he is your destiny, and he is your doom."
"You are not under the love spell any more?" Morgana asked again.
"No," Merlin said. "Gaius found the antidote before you last visited me and broke the spell."
"Morgana wanted to slap Merlin again for not telling her last time she had seen him. However, his shield was in place. Though she could talk, she could not move,... and... she had promised on the old religion not to hurt him. Even if she had wanted to hurt him, his magical hold was too powerful for her to break. "Why didn't you say something then? Were you just playing with my emotions?"/
Merlin growled and his eyes started to spark gold. "I was not playing with your emotions. I had just come out of the curse you put on me and I couldn't understand why you were being so friendly. I know your temper and I didn't want to rile you till I did understand."
Morgana felt his power penetrate her defenses. Morgana could not back away. It was not in her Pendragon character. "So now you understand I put a love spell on you, are you going to kill me?"
"No Morgana, I told you,... I want you for an ally,... not an enemy. Your mother has been helping us both. She told me she suggested the love spell to you and then changed it. She said it was the only way to weaken the curse Morgause put on you."
Morgana grew confused. "My mother suggested the spell? But that was my idea...wasn't it?" She paused.
Merlin shrugged. "Power of suggestion ..."
Morgana's defenses surfaced in addition to her confusion, "Morgause would never put a curse on me."
"She used blood magic on you Morgana. The blood magic changed your thinking. She wanted you on her side and she knew your natural love and compassion would not allow it." Merlin said.
"No! No! it couldn't be. She would never do that. She loved me." Morgana was almost in tears.
"Maybe." Merlin said. "But to me, controlling someone by blood magic is not love."
Merlin's words hit Morgana like a runaway heavily loaded wagon. "I tried to control your mind and heart with magic." she whispered. "Yet you have not killed me for it."
"No Merlin said. "I won't do it...I can't."
"But you poisoned me when the knights of Medhir came to Camelot. So you have done it. How can I trust you." Morgana looked to Merlin with doubt in her eyes.
Merlin bit back the sorrow and let his anger come out in a growl. "You forced my hand. You were the source of the curse. I had to destroy the source or everyone in Camelot would have died. You tried to kill Uther before that and you helped Alvaar steal the crystal of Neahtid. Then you unleashed that skeleton army on Camelot. That knight of Medhir didn't kill you. You weren't exactly giving me anything to work with!"
Morgana could feel the blackness inside her rising. "Nobody helped me but Morgause. I was trying to rid the world of Uther's tyranny."
Merlin just about lost control at Morgana's assumptions and his growl rose in volume, "By becoming a tyrant? You had your soldiers shoot into a crowd of people! You released the Dorocha! You killed a man and his wife and left his children orphan just to test a love spell on me! The curse has been driving you Morgana, not justice. I would kill you now if it were not for the hope that I can break this hold Morgause has on your heart and mind!"
Merlin's eyes were glowing brighter than before and Morgana could feel the pressure from his magic increasing on her own body and her magic. Fear rose in her heart and mind she had never felt before. She suddenly realized Merlin could easily defeat her and she had to cooperate or die.
Her mind raced until she remembered Merlin mentioning her mother. "You said my mother changed the spell to weaken the blood magic. She sent you for me." Morgana's breathing slowed as Merlin's words about being her ally echoed in her head spurring her next question. "What else needs to be done?"
Merlin's eyes widened in amazement as he processed what Morgana had just said. As it sunk in, he started to feel some relief that Morgana was attempting to cooperate. The blue returned to his irises with just a touch of the gold. He was not going to let down his defenses entirely, Morgana was still too unpredictable while under the influence of the curse. He could clearly see that now. It made him apprehensive as to how he and Morgana could ever share a great love as the curse was fueled by her own bitter emotions against him.
Merlin took a deep breath. "Your mother said you and I had to find the Goddess to receive the tools, knowledge and power to break your curse." Merlin didn't talk about the love required as he just wasn't feeling it.
Morgana nodded. "Where do we go to find the Goddess?"
"Your mother said to follow and trust our magic. She said you were a critical part of this and had to come with me. Right now, even though you have promised me you will not hurt me, I am having a hard time trusting you."
"You said I am under a curse. Seems you shouldn't trust me." Morgana frowned at the realization.
Merlin went silent his mind running desperately through his memories for a solution. The poppet in his pocket was working to restrain Morgana's magic, and his practice with Iselder was helping him feel and repress Morgana's magic.. He knew he could not use all these restraints since he needed her magic to help him find the Goddess.
"I have no solutions." Merlin said.
"What about a truce." Morgana suggested.
"How would a truce be better than a promise on the old religion?" Merlin queried.
"The room lit up and Viviana was in the hovel with Merlin and Morgana staring in shock.
Viviana held out her arms "My precious Morgana."
"Mother?" Morgana's eyes swept over the features that so mirrored her own, minus the green eyes as Viviana's were blue.
Viviana nodded.
Morgana felt love radiating from the woman. It was an unconditional, boundless motherly love she had craved for so long and Morgana jumped into her mother's embrace. "I have missed you mother." Morgana felt her mother's love surround her in a warmth that eclipsed any love she had never felt from anyone, even Gorlois. That love pushed away the darkness that was her constant companion anymore. Morgana closed her eyes against the moisture behind her eyelids. Morgana wanted to hold on to it forever and, for a long while, just let herself relax and enjoy her mother's embrace.
It was some time later when Morgana pulled away, her curiosity came to the surface and she had to ask. "Why are you here?"
Viviana pulled back to look her daughter in the eye. Her look was firm, but so full of love, Morgana knew she would treasure and cherish every word her mother spoke.
"My precious girl. I have come to help you break the curse Morgause put on you. Merlin is a part of that help. You must not hurt him. You must work with him. He is your destiny."
"Merlin is my destiny...and he is my doom." Morgana repeated as that is what the Caileach had told her and the words were now reverberating in her head.
"Merlin is your destiny as you will share a great love and build Albion." Viviana clarified. "He is only the doom to the curse and the hatred Morgause cast over you."
Morgana's eyes widened at the light and understanding Viviana had just shed on the Caileach's prophecy. She was not as shocked as she was when Merlin had first told her a few minutes ago they would share a great love. The concept was still so new, it stunned her momentarily before her brain caught up with the second part Viviana pronounced about the curse. As she started to comprehend, her eyes misted over. "Morgause wouldn't!" her voice broke. "She didn't!" Morgana struggled with the emotions.
Viviana pulled out a crystal much like the crystal of Neahtid, only much larger. She put it on the table and motioned to the raven-haired adults to touch it. "Trust me"
Morgana nodded.
Viviana motioned to Merlin, "You have to see this too."
Moments later they were all staring into the crystal watching Morgause slicing her own hand and the hand of an unconscious Morgana, weak and still recovering from the poison Merlin gave Morgana. The words were dark and binding. All understood the intention behind the blood magic, the curse, as the blood turned to a black smoke that entered Morgana's nostrils penetrating her brain and body, solidifying into something that resembled a snake spreading its venom, whispering dark, seductive thoughts of hate, power and revenge.
The snake captured Morgana's bad memories; the many executions of magic users she had seen at Uther's command, the time Uther had choked her and chained her in prison, Gaius's ineffective potions and half truths, Arthur laughing at her dreams. The darkest memories the snake captured and amplified revolved around Merlin denying Morgana help after her magic had appeared, and poisoning her. The snake used these horrible memories to fuel Morgana's hate and distrust. Morgana was a prisoner of the curse.
Merlin was going to let go of the stone as tears of remorse fell down his cheeks seeing how Morgana's memories of him were the largest part of the fuel behind Morgana's curse. He wanted to turn away. Morgana's situation was largely his fault. This was his nightmare and his guilt times ten.
Viviana held him fast. Viviana wanted him to see what happened to the love and total respect Morgana held for Merlin because of his kindness, the way he served others, and his heroic deeds in saving Camelot. Morgana had never revealed these feelings to anyone./
The snake took that love and respect Morgana had for Merlin and threw it in a dark corner with the smoke becoming a goo of myriad chains and thick ropes, burying Morgana's love completely.
The snake continued whispering to Morgana to trust no one but Morgause. Everyone who was not Morgause had hurt her. They were responsible for her pain. They must die. The bad memories played over and over getting louder and larger. The hold the darkness had on Morgana's good memories grew stronger with each passing day as did Morgause's influence. Merlin knew because of this vision, Morgana was a prisoner in her own mind, at the mercy of the curse.
Tears were streaming down all their faces as they all looked at each other with a clearer understanding than they had ever experienced. The apparent evil was frightening to Merlin and Morgana.
Viviana held her arms out to Morgana and Merlin who stepped unreservedly into her motherly embrace. They felt her love and her magic settle into their hearts like a soft glow. The glow took away their fright and strengthened the love spell on Morgana, soothed the hurt and pain, neutralized the distrust, and most importantly, pushed back against Morgause's curse.
Viviana smiled, and like before, disappeared leaving them alone together. The glow of knowledge provided some comfort, but the hurt they caused each other overwhelmed them and was still in their hearts and minds.
Morgana threw her arms around Merlin and they both cried, tears of regret, sorrow, disappointment and forgiveness. There were many words of apology as well.
They pulled away from each other much later to find the room completely dark. They were both completely exhausted. Morgana laid down on the bed pulling Merlin with her. Merlin gave her no resistance and they immediately fell fast asleep.
