A/N Here's a new chapter for all of you wonderful readers out there. Thank you so much to my reviewers from the last chapter. Please keep them coming. I love all the support. Here's ch 15 and I hope you all enjoy it.
Ch 15 Talking Some Sense
Rafiki had caught up to Kopa and the pair were having a serious conversation. "Young one I do not tink dat you are tinking vedy clearly right now," Rafiki was saying. "You are better dan dis."
"Rafiki for once you are dead wrong," Kopa said. "I am thinking clearly. I can't do it. Not to an innocent cub."
"Do what exactly?" Rafiki asked, making sure he didn't sound pushy.
"I can't make an innocent child suffer because of me," Kopa said, avoiding eye contact.
"And why do you tink de child would suffer?" Rafiki asked.
"Because I'm a screw up," Kopa said, looking at the ground. "And I'm only going to screw this kid up. Make him or her messed up in the head. Just like my mother did to me and Kion. I...I can't do that to that poor cub. Or to Jasiri. They both deserve so much better. That's why I'm leaving. Before my anger gets the better of me like it did my mother and father."
"Kopa dat will not happen," Rafiki said, getting in front of Kopa and lifting his head up. "Oh my dear boy you have so much sadness in you," Rafiki said, after staring at Kopa for a minute. "And so much guilt. But you have a good heart. You will not harm dis child or yer mate."
"How can you be so sure?" Kopa asked, his voice barely above a whisper. By now Kovu and Kiara had caught up to Kopa and Rafiki. But the brother and sister decided to stay back and listen before they went in.
"I can always tell wit creatures," Rafiki responded. "I can sense darkness inside someone. And der is no darkness in you Kopa. Der is much doubt and anger but if you allow me to help you den des feelings will not get out of control."
"Thanks Rafiki," Kopa said with a smile. Kovu and Kiara decided to make themselves known at this point. When Kopa saw his siblings his blue eyes went wide with surprise. "What are you guys doing here?" the creamy coated lion asked.
"Looking for you," Kovu answered. "You've got a Hell of a lot of explaining to do Kopa."
"Yeah," Kopa said with a sigh. "I know I do. Kovu I..."
"No Kopa you don't get to talk your way out of this," Kovu snapped, causing Kopa to blink in surprise. "Look Kopa you're my brother and I love you but you're acting like a world class bastard here."
"Kovu," Kopa began. But he was once again cut off by Kovu's angry voice.
"I'm not finished Kopa," the golden brown lion snapped. "I've given you a lot a slack in the past. Hell I even stood up for you when you damn near killed me. But enough is enough. I will not allow you to abandon your family and force Jasiri to raise your child alone. And I sure as Hell won't allow my niece or nephew to grow up without a father like I did."
"You wanted to grow up with Scar?" Kopa asked, clearly surprised.
"Of course not," Kovu said. "But if he was a decent lion like you I would have loved to have a father. I was always so jealous of Nuka and Vitani. Because they had a father that loved them and was actually there for them. And I grew up thinking that...well that there was something wrong with me. That I wasn't good enough to warrant having a loving father around. You know what I mean?"
"Boy do I ever," Kopa muttered, looking at Kiara, who nodded in agreement.
"Then you know deep down that you leaving is wrong," Kovu said. Kopa just stared at his brother silently. "Ugh help me out here Rafiki," Kovu groaned, looking at the old mandrill. "Help me get through that thick head of his."
"Kopa knows what is in his heart," Rafiki said. "He know what de right ting to do is."
"Ugh you can't possibly understand where I'm coming from Kovu," Kopa grunted.
"No but I can," Kiara chimed in. "I understand that you don't want to become like Mother and Father. That you're afraid you're going to screw up your cub the same way Mother screwed us and Kion up. I felt the same way when I found out I was pregnant. And those feelings grew stronger when Mflame was born. Hell I still have those fears. But I love my daughter and Nuka and I would never abandon them. And I know that with Nuka by my side I can do this. Yes I'll make mistakes. All parents do. But those mistakes won't screw Mflame up for life. Just like any mistakes you may make won't screw up your kid permeantly. And you have Jasiri by your side so you can't lose."
"Kiara I..." Kopa began, unsure what to say. Then he looked down at the ground in shame as he realized his sister was right. "I'm so ashamed of myself," the creamy crown lion whispered. "I acted like such an asshole."
"Well at least you're admitting it," Kiara said with a smile as she went to nuzzle her brother. But Kopa pulled away.
"I don't deserve comfort," Kopa said softly. "And I sure as Hell don't deserve forgiveness. And after what I did I hardly think Jasiri is going to forgive me."
"Kopa Jasiri loves you," Kiara pointed out. "She'll forgive you."
"Jasiri has already forgiven so much from me," Kopa said. "Hell she forgave me when I damn near killed her. But the only reason she did then was because I wasn't myself. I've got no excuse for my behavior this time."
"You need to at least talk to her," Kiara said. "If she doesn't forgive you then that's her choice."
"You're right Ki'," Kopa said with another sigh. "I owe her at least that much after all the Hell I've put her through."
"Then let's go," Kovu said, motioning for Kopa to follow him.
"Right behind you," Kopa said as he began to follow his brother. But before he left Kopa gave Rafiki a hug. "Thank you Rafiki," Kopa whispered. "And I'm sorry I was such a jerk to you."
"It is alright," Rafiki said, patting Kopa's back. "I take no offence. Now go and make tings right." Kopa smiled at Rafiki and without another word he followed his siblings back to Pride Rock, hoping that Jasiri would find it in her heart to forgive him.
TLKTLKTLK
A little while later the group was back at Pride Rock. When Jasiri saw Kopa her brown eyes went wide with surprise. But that surprise quickly turned into anger. "Well look who decided to come back," the rusty brown lioness growled.
"Jasiri I'm so sorry for the way I reacted," Kopa said, going up to his mate and trying to muzzle her. But Jasiri pulled away from Kopa with an angry growl.
"Um why don't we give you some space?" Nuka suggested as he stood and gently picked up Mflame. "I'm going to take her down to the watering hole for a bit." With that the golden brown Prince was gone with the rest of the group right behind him.
"Jasiri I..." Kopa began.
"Kopa whatever lame apology you have you can just save it," Jasiri interrupted. "There's nothing you can say that's going to make me forgive you for the horrible things you said about me."
"I know that," Kopa said, surprising Jasiri. "And I'm not expecting forgiveness for the millionth time. I don't deserve it. And I sure as Hell don't deserve you or that innocent cub you're carrying. But I couldn't just leave without explaining why I reacted the way I did."
"I'm listening," Jasiri said evenly.
"I've been so scared that I'm going to screw my cub up if I stayed apart of their life," Kopa began. "I mean I had really shitty parents and I've been nothing but a screw up all my life so the chances of me screwing up this kid are pretty high. But I was talking to Kiara and Kovu and they told me they had the same fears and doubts that I did. And Kovu pointed out how hard it was for him growling up without a father. And I agree with that. Every child deserves a chance to know both their parents. But only if they're good decent lions. Which Kings knows I'm not. But I know you probably hate me and that's expected. So I'm gonna go. I just felt you deserved an explanation first and that you also needed to know that none of this is you're fault. Its all on me. That's all I needed to say." With that Kopa turned and began to walk away from Jasiri.
"Kopa wait," Jasiri called out. "I've got something to say to you." Kopa turned and gave Jasiri his full attention. "Kopa I..." Jasiri began.
A/N well folks there you have it ch 15 complete. Sorry for the cliffhanger lol. Reviews are welcomed as always.
