Chapter 4
As soon as Rukia set foot in the War Palace, she felt a huge emptiness inside her. It was like waking up from a long and heavy sleep, one of those that leaves more exhaustion than rest.
— It's not like the Palace of Roses where you used to live, but...
Hisana hadn't finished the sentence but Rukia could guess what was coming: "but you won't have to see him here."
— It's ok... it's better now... I guess. I would like to rest a bit.
Hisana didn't stop her on her way to the room they had prepared for her, and Rukia was grateful that her sister-in-law gave her the privacy she needed.
Despite the fact that she had told Miyako that she would ask the queen to allow her to be a teacher, Rukia felt that she was not ready for teaching because all her life they had been preparing her to be a princess; and there was a world of difference between being a princess and being a teacher.
The first bouquet of flowers arrived when Rukia was in the living room trying to read a book. It was a gift from Ashido that came with a small letter that made clear his intentions to woo her, but Rukia didn't want to be wooed at the moment.
Her mind still remembered Ichigo's words and that kiss, and she constantly wondered if something would have changed if she had decided to stay in the Palace of Roses. The thought that Ichigo had said all those words to her because she was "something" that he had and couldn't have anymore, also haunted her mind.
The flowers that Ashido sent were pretty, but only that.
That same afternoon another messenger boy arrived, this time carrying an enormous bouquet of yellow roses that were addressed to her. Rukia thought they were a gift from another suitor who had found out that she had returned to the War Palace and was single, and had the messenger boy place the flowers on a table.
When Rukia took the letter that came with those flowers and read the contents, her heart began to pound so hard that she felt like it would jump out of her chest at any moment. Ichigo had sent her those yellow roses and had written a letter so long that it was two pages full on both sides.
Ichigo was asking her for a chance to meet her.
Rukia stared at that letter for too long because she didn't know what to answer, she still had doubts in her head and the idea that Ichigo was just playing with her refused to leave her heart.
The huge arrangement of red roses rested on a small table in her room, but Rukia could only see the note that had come with them, that two-word plea that warmed her heart and made her finally decide to give Ichigo a chance.
Rukia intended to forget all her feelings for him, but it was impossible when Ichigo sent her flowers every week and wrote letters that were practically a poem. Ichigo had written on them all his apologies, all his wishes, and all his longings for her.
It was hard to say "no" when she could read between the lines, and above them, how much he missed her and how sorry he was.
— The invitations for the dance on Friday arrived. — Hisana commented with a box in her hands. — And tomorrow your dress arrives. You will look beautiful and no one will take their eyes off you that night.
— Can I invite the princesses? — Rukia asked as she took one of the invitations to that dance.
Her father had received at least half a dozen letters of suitors for her and decided to throw a ball where they would practically parade her around for everyone. They weren't arranging a marriage for her, but they were telling her that she should at least think about it.
— Yep. I'll send one of the messenger boys to...
— I'll go! — Rukia spoke with too much excitement in her voice, causing Hisana to look at her suspiciously.
— Is the one who sent you those roses responsible? — Hisana asked without wanting to say Ichigo's name, because everyone knew that Ichigo was the one who sent the biggest bouquets of all roses.
— No... it's because I miss the queen and I told her that I would visit her when I had time... and now I have time. Bye bye.
The nerve Rukia had when she took the invitation to the ball as an excuse to go to the king's palace and talk to Ichigo, vanished as the carriage pulled onto the palace grounds and she began to think about how she should start the conversation with him.
— It should look casual. I won't look for him, I'll just wait for him to look for me and he brings it up. I must not look desperate. Yes, that's how I'll do it.
However, that idea that made her smile went to hell when she looked out the window and saw Ichigo together with a court lady in a garden, standing near some bushes and talking about something. She looked away at the moment when Ichigo was leaning over that girl to kiss her.
Rukia felt foolish for thinking that Ichigo really wanted to be with her and for believing his words. Ichigo only wanted her because he couldn't have her. Tears pooled in her eyes, but Rukia told herself she wasn't going to shed another tear for an idiot like him.
She tried to calm herself and counted to a thousand while swallowing back her own tears and disappointment before stepping down from the carriage. Her visit had been announced and the queen was waiting for her.
The queen received her with a huge smile on her lips and they had tea together, they talked about how much they missed each other and about the dance that would take place at the War Palace; but when the queen asked her if she liked the roses Ichigo sent for her that morning, Rukia remembered the kiss she had just seen and briefly lost her breath.
— Don't let him send me roses anymore, Your Majesty. — Rukia whispered as she looked down at her hands.
— Why? Did something happen? I thought that...
The queen's voice sounded worried and Rukia felt so bad at that moment that she didn't dare look her in the eye. The queen had interpreted that visit as Rukia's response to Ichigo's letters.
— I just think... I think those roses shouldn't be for me.
— Rukia…
— I think it's time for me to go, your majesty. I hope the princesses can go to the ball.
The queen did not stop her, but wished her a good trip and let her go.
Rukia began to walk through the corridors of the Palace of Roses quickly, trying not to meet anyone she knew so as not to be forced to explain why her eyes were red and her breathing was agitated.
Ichigo was an idiot and she was more for thinking that his words were true.
— Rukia!
Ichigo's voice calling out to her made her curse her luck. She didn't want to see him, she didn't want to hear him, and she didn't want to hear from him anymore. Going to the Palace was the worst thing she could do that day and at the same time, what she needed to finish understanding that she was just a whim for Ichigo.
— Your Highness. — Rukia, who had stopped at the sound of her own name, turned on her heel to look at him.
Ichigo had a smile on his lips, even his eyes seemed bright and animated, and all of that seemed like a mockery towards her. She didn't know how Ichigo could fake being excited to see her after being with someone else.
— Did you like the flowers? — Ichigo asked approaching her with a quick step, without losing his smile but a slight doubt in his eyes. — Tell me you're here because you'll give me a...
Rukia didn't let him finish speaking, she raised her hand and slapped him across the face with all the force and anger that was in her, catching Ichigo off guard. At that moment she didn't care that he was a prince, she just wanted to hit him for daring to play with her.
— Do you think I'm a fool?! You think you can play with me just because you're a prince?! — Rukia yelled as she let the anger form into words.
Last time, she had been calm because she had accepted that everything was over between them and it was her way of saying goodbye to that crush, but that day her calm was forgotten because Ichigo had played with her and the last thing she wanted was to stay calm.
— Rukia, what the hell...
— Don't you ever look for me again! Don't send me flowers and don't even think I'll give you a chance! — Rukia's eyes were brimming with tears and her jaw was clenched as she tried to control her anger and frustration. — For a moment I thought your words were honest but I was wrong.
— What I told you is true! — Ichigo raised his voice and tried to get closer to her, but Rukia pulled away. — If you explain to me what happens, why...
— Do I have to explain it? Will you tell me it wasn't you who was kissing that girl in the garden? — Rukia asked making Ichigo freeze. — You send me flowers and you flirt with someone else, is that right? Huh?
— Rukia... It's not what...
— I don't care! I don't want to hear or see you!
Rukia turned to leave and felt Ichigo grab her hand to stop her. Rukia didn't want him to touch her and made him let go while he tried to explain something she wasn't interested in hearing.
The slap that Rukia gave Ichigo across the face echoed in the hallway.
— Never touch me again!
Rukia got out of there as fast as she could, not looking back and telling herself that she didn't deserve this.
As soon as Ichigo got over the shock of being slapped by Rukia, he started to run after her to try to explain things to her, but Kaien's strong grip stopped him in the middle of a hallway and prevented him from reaching her.
Ichigo turned to look at his brother, demanding that he let go because he had to catch up with Rukia, but Kaien held him tighter. Kaien's expression was terrifying, oozing anger in a way Ichigo had never seen before and for a brief moment he was afraid of his own brother.
— It's true? — The king's voice echoed in that hall in an overly serious tone. — What I just heard, is it true?
Ichigo stopped looking at his brother and focused all his attention on his father, who had arrived without him noticing. His father was angry too.
— Ichigo, answer me! Were you just playing with her?
— Father...
Ichigo lost his voice because for a moment he felt like a little kid about to be reprimanded for something he didn't do. He wasn't playing with Rukia, he really wanted to get closer to her.
— You're not going to answer? Should I take your silence as a "yes"? — The king walked over to Ichigo, who was still being held tightly by Kaien to keep him from going after Rukia, and gave him a look that Ichigo could tell was disappointment. — Don't make me regret trusting you.
— No! Father... It was a misunderstanding. — Ichigo found his voice upon hearing his father's last sentence. — I don't flirt with anyone.
Ichigo explained, as much as his despair over the whole situation allowed him, that it hadn't happened. He wasn't flirting with the court girl, but they had met by chance in the garden and she said she had been bitten by an insect.
A ridiculous excuse to the ears of Kaien and the king, even to the ears of the queen who had arrived because of all the fuss.
— I was just trying to help her, that's all. Maybe Rukia saw wrong, I need to explain to her that I didn't...
— Rukia is like a daughter to our family and if I allowed you to try to approach her for an opportunity, it was because I thought that you were truly sorry for your past actions and had feelings for her.
The king spoke very seriously, as the situation warranted, and Ichigo felt that something terrible was closing in on him.
— Father... Please...
Ichigo felt the need to plead with his father, to get on his knees if necessary to make him believe he was telling the truth, but Kaien's grip prevented him.
— It is evident that I was wrong. You are my son and your faults are my faults, so I will solve this once and for all. I forbid you to look for her again, she doesn't deserve to be treated the way you are treating her, and I will find you a wife.
— No! Father! I'm telling the truth! It's a misunderstanding!
— It is time for you to marry and serve the kingdom.
The king left there along with the queen, who was looking at her own son with disappointment for what had just happened, and Ichigo was finally released from Kaien's hands.
— Do you remember when you accused her of being my lover? — Kaien asked, holding back the anger in his voice and possibly the urge to hit him. — I made the mistake of kissing her cheeks because she helped me plan a present for Miyako, but you didn't let her explain the situation and judged her. It's only fair that you feel what she felt.
Ichigo froze, staring at his brother and realizing that his words were true. He quickly remembered that dinner, where Rukia had tried to talk and where he wouldn't let her do it because he was blinded by jealousy.
— I didn't kiss that girl! — Ichigo defended himself, desperately wanting his brother to believe him because it was true.
He didn't kiss that girl.
— Now it doesn't matter if you did or not. The order has already been given and that is what will be done. — Kaien stepped away from him. — You destroyed your happiness with your own hands.
Ichigo hesitated for a second but as soon as Kaien was out of sight, he went to the stables and asked for his horse to be ready. The waiting time seemed eternal but as soon as everything was ready, he got on his horse and headed to the War Palace. He had to talk to Rukia, he had to explain how things had been because he didn't want to lose her again.
He had been a fool for letting her go once, for not having seen what everyone else saw in her, and he didn't want that because of a misunderstanding he couldn't get close to her anymore.
As soon as Ichigo arrived at the War Palace, he asked to see Rukia but was denied.
— She is not feeling well, your highness. — Hisana explained, standing at the bottom of the stairs as if she were a sentinel meant not to let him pass. — So please, let her rest.
— I'm not leaving here until I talk to her. — Ichigo stopped in front of Hisana and tried to put his foot on the stairs, but she moved to prevent him. — Let me pass, Lady Hisana...
— No. — The word sounded dry and hostile. — I don't know what your intentions were in doing everything you did, Your Highness, but Rukia doesn't want to see you. So please, go away.
Ichigo tried to pass again but Hisana stopped him. The woman seemed too determined not to move and not let him see Rukia, and Ichigo was getting more and more desperate as he felt like he was running out of time.
All those red roses that had arrived in the morning were scattered on the floor. Upon entering her bedroom, the first thing Rukia did was take those roses and throw them in the trash along with all the letters Ichigo had sent her, and start crying at her own naivety.
She didn't hear the commotion downstairs until someone called her name and she froze, forgetting all those questions about her own naivety that were running through her mind.
— Rukia! We need to talk! Rukia!
Ichigo was at her house and was yelling for her.
Rukia didn't want to go downstairs, but the moment Ichigo yelled her name followed by an overly painful groan, she opened her bedroom door and quickly peeked down the stairs to see what was happening.
Ichigo was on his knees, held down by a pair of Byakuya's guards, and with Byakuya still making a fist, making it clear that he had hit him. As much as Rukia wanted to be glad that her brother had hit Ichigo, she couldn't and ran downstairs to tell Ichigo to leave before her brother beat him to death.
— Rukia... let me explain... please...
Ichigo was short of breath and the soldiers still wouldn't let go.
— I don't need your explanations.
— Nothing happened, I swear. I know I made mistakes, but you have to believe me.
— I just can't. — Rukia felt her eyes burn again and had to look away to keep from crying there. — Go away and don't come looking for me again, please.
Rukia turned her back on him and went up to her room accompanied by Hisana, while her brother's soldiers threw Ichigo out of the War Palace.
Rukia told herself that she could get over it. If she had managed to create that fantasy of falling in love, then she could undo it because no one died of love and she wouldn't be the first.
Ichigo had tried by all possible means to see and talk to Rukia. He had sent her letters and flowers, but they had all been returned to the palace when Rukia refused to receive them. He had even gone looking for her a couple of times, but Lord Kuchiki's soldiers would not allow him to enter and give him the excuse that she wasn't there.
All of that was pretty frustrating.
— What will you do today? — Kaien's voice made Ichigo stop watching his horse being saddled. — Will you wait for her outside her house and then ambush her?
— That's none of your business.
Ichigo returned his gaze to the horse, because that was exactly what he was going to do today. The next day would be the ball at the War Palace where Rukia would be surrounded by suitors so she could choose one and get married, and Ichigo didn't want that.
— Suppose Rukia agrees to see you. — Kaien began, speaking in a tone that showed how tired he was of watching Ichigo try to win Rukia back. — And that she decides not to hit you, give you a chance and finally the two of you can have a relationship. What will you do if you find out that the only reason you want to be with her is because she doesn't want to be with you anymore?
Ichigo was silent.
— What will you do if you find out that you two actually have nothing in common? — Kaien asked again. — Will you tell her that the relationship can't be and leave her? Do you have any idea the damage you would do to her reputation? Do you have any idea what she went through when it became official that the engagement was off?
— And you? — Ichigo asked reluctantly because he didn't want to answer Kaien's questions.
All those questions he had asked himself and he didn't like some of the answers he got.
— All the blame for the breakdown of that engagement fell on her. — Kaien continued speaking. — The ladies of the court did not stop making comments about it, making fun of the fact that Rukia had been raised to be a princess but that even that did not help her become one. Rukia endured malicious looks and comments from the break up until the wedding. Have you ever thought about why she moved to the War Palace?
Ichigo was silent again because he knew about those comments, he found out after Rukia had left because he had overheard them every time he went to visit his mother. All those ladies who had made such comments had ceased to be to his liking.
Kaien spoke again.
— Leave her alone. Let her live her own life and accept that you will never be a part of it. You could have been, but you preferred to deny that. She would have given everything for you, we all saw in her eyes how in love she was with you. — Kaien sighed. — Now in her eyes there is only ice every time your name is mentioned. Love is a choice, Ichigo... and she's already made hers.
Ichigo turned to look at his brother, but Kaien was walking slowly out of there, hands in his pockets before he was met by Miyako, who was followed by her ladies who seemed too agitated and worried.
Ichigo didn't hear what Miyako was saying to Kaien, although it was evident that it must be quite important if she was looking for him and worried her ladies, but he did see Kaien pick her up and kiss her.
— Your highness, your horse is ready.
Ichigo looked at the stable boy who came up to him and nodded, then got on his horse and took the reins. He had originally intended to go to the War Palace to look for Rukia, but instead he rode the horse to go to the king's forest.
That night, Rukia was looking at the pretty dress that she would wear the next night at that dance and she felt empty. She wasn't excited about the party but she had to attend, smile in front of people and then choose a prospective husband.
Rukia had come to the conclusion, after thinking it over carefully, that she would choose Ashido to get through all of this quickly. She didn't have to love him to marry him, she just had to be on friendly terms with him and eventually fulfill what was expected of her as a wife.
It was the same thing that she had once thought she would do when she married Ichigo, yet there was a huge difference.
— I was in love with him.
Rukia got angry for saying those words and pushed that thought from her mind like it was a fly. She was supposed to be turning off her feelings for Ichigo, but she couldn't stop thinking about him or his face when he was on his knees begging her to believe him.
Ichigo had gone after her, allowed himself to be beaten, and begged.
She got angry again just remembering the letters where he confessed his feelings to her and then seeing him kissing someone else.
— He's a cynic and an idiot... and I don't know what I saw in him. — Rukia started pacing around her room. — And it's better that way, away from that liar who doesn't deserve me.
Rukia was repeating her nightly mantra, the one she'd repeated every night since she'd seen him kissing someone else, when she heard something bang on her window. For a moment, Rukia thought it was some insect hitting the glass until she heard the sound again, and then a third time.
Someone was throwing pebbles at her window.
Rukia immediately opened the window to see who was doing that, and was surprised to find Ichigo there, with several pebbles in one hand and another ready to be thrown in the other hand. This was the weirdest thing she had ever seen Ichigo do, even weirder than hiding and waiting for her to come out.
— Rukia!
Ichigo's voice sounded animated even though it was a whisper.
— What the hell are you doing here? How did you find my room? — Rukia asked, leaning out the window and using the same tone of voice as him because if her father's guards saw him, they would probably shoot him before finding out who he was.
— I came to talk to you. I need you to listen to me.
— I don't care. Get out of here.
— I'm not leaving until you let me talk to you, Rukia. Just give me tonight. Let me explain what happened and if you don't believe me, I'll leave and I won't insist again.
— I don't believe you. Now get out of here or I'll call the guards.
Rukia moved away from the window, ready to close it, when she heard Ichigo's voice again.
— You leave me no choice. I'll go up to your room.
Rukia immediately peeked back through the window, only to find Ichigo starting to climb up a pillar near it. Rukia never thought she would see Ichigo do something like that, she didn't even think he would try to invade her room just to talk to her.
— What the hell is wrong with you? You're going to kill yourself!
— I will not die. I've done it several times and...
Ichigo didn't finish speaking, he was halfway up the pillar when his foot slipped and he nearly fell. Rukia, out of sheer reflex, reached out her hand as if she could reach out to him and hold him from falling.
— Do you see it?! Stop doing that, I'll go down in a moment because I don't want you to die and they accuse my family of murdering a prince. — Ichigo stopped climbing the pillar when Rukia said that. — I'll see you in the grove in a moment.
— Alright.
Ichigo jumped down from that pillar, perhaps too agile one, and started walking towards the trees while making sure no one saw him.
Rukia counted to a thousand before walking out to her room to go with Ichigo, ignoring her racing heart and thinking that maybe then he would stop bothering her.
After thinking carefully about Kaien's words all afternoon, Ichigo came to the conclusion that there was only one thing he could do to fix his relationship with Rukia.
— Well, I'm here. Talk fast and then go away, you could get me in trouble.
Rukia's voice is a whisper, but she sounded annoyed and it was only thanks to the dim moonlight that he could see where she was.
— Rukia... how important is your reputation to you?
Kaien had told him that Rukia had a hard time with the gossip inside the palace, but he wanted to know what she thought about that topic.
— My reputation? Did you come all the way here to talk about my reputation? — Rukia asked those questions trying to keep her voice down so no one would find out they were there. — Oh my Deities! I really don't learn with you, I thought you came to apologize or something, but you only ask about my reputation. I'm leaving!
Ichigo saw how Rukia turned her back on him and he took advantage of that moment to hug her like that, making both of Rukia's hands were pinned and she couldn't hit him. Rukia had a good arm for punches.
— What the hell are you doing, Ichigo?! Let me go or I scream.
— Rukia, first tell me how important your reputation is to you.
Ichigo spoke in a whisper, but when he took a breath he could smell Rukia's perfume and that disarmed him for a brief moment.
— It's important to me, what did you expect? Now let me go!
— Okay, excuse me for this.
Ichigo hit her on the back of the head to render her unconscious, held her tight so she wouldn't fall to the ground, and went looking for where he left his horse tied up.
Yes, Ichigo's brilliant plan, the one that had taken him all afternoon to come up with, was that he should kidnap Rukia.
Thanks to all the beautiful readers who take the time to read and comment on this.
You guys are the best!
