Chapter 5
Hisana would have liked to be able to offer words of comfort to her father-in-law, who seemed to be about to declare war on the imaginary enemy responsible for Rukia's kidnapping, but she herself couldn't find the words to calm down.
She berated herself for not noticing Rukia's absence sooner, for taking too long to visit her in her room thinking that maybe she had fallen asleep, and for a lot of other things over which she had no control; but that at that moment she would like to have.
She was supposed to be the lady of the house, because since Lady Kuchiki died all the weight of responsibility fell on her, and Rukia's absence was proof that maybe she wasn't good enough to take care of her little sister-in-law.
— My dear, I'll go with the hunters. — Byakuya took her hands as he said that. — Make sure no one talks about this.
Hisana didn't have to ask what her husband meant.
The ball where they were going to introduce the list of suitors to Rukia for her hand was that night, and if people found out that she had been kidnapped the night before, it could be a big scandal.
Hisana feared that Rukia's honor and reputation would be so irretrievably tarnished that she would never have a good life or a good marriage.
The bed and the sheets were quite soft and warm, almost perfect, but there was something that was preventing her from continuing with that perfect dream where she was hunting through the forest, and that was Ichigo's scent.
Rukia remembered Ichigo's scent, she had felt it countless times when they were together, when they had those silent meals or when they went somewhere together, and although she couldn't deny that it was something she liked about him, at that moment she hated it. She hated that her brain reminded her just because she had seen him last night, until her own brain snapped her out of her sleepy stupor and she opened her eyes.
The scent wasn't a hallucination and the warmth of that bed wasn't entirely because of the sheets.
Ichigo was lying next to her, hugging her, and he seemed very comfortable in that position.
Rukia let out a scream as she realized the situation and as she could, she got rid of Ichigo's hug, who woke up confused by the scream. She felt embarrassed and horrified in equal measure for having been in a bed with a man, and worst of all, that man was Ichigo.
That couldn't be happening to her.
At that moment, Rukia remembered what happened last night and Ichigo's question about how important her reputation was to her.
Reputation was the most precious thing for any self-respecting girl and if anyone found out that she was in the same bed as Ichigo, she would be marked for life. She had enough with the rumors about the dissolution of the engagement, as to have to put up with others where they questioned her morals and education.
She felt that scandal and dishonor were hanging over her because of the orange haired idiot who had made her sleep with him in a bed.
— Are you always so loud when you wake up? — Ichigo asked, rubbing his eyes and stifling a yawn as he sat up in bed, as if this was the most common thing in the world.
Rukia ignored Ichigo's comment and started checking herself, she had more important things to pay attention to than his complaint about her being loud.
When she discovered that she was still fully clothed, her soul returned to her body because it meant that at least he hadn't touched her, until she looked up at Ichigo and realized that he was only wearing a shirt and possibly pants.
Rukia didn't know how much her terror could grow towards what might have happened the night before, until she wished that Ichigo really had his pants on and that he hadn't lifted up her skirt to take advantage of her.
— Oh my Deities! What did you do to me?
— We slept together, that's what we did.
Ichigo's voice, accompanied by that mischievous smile on his face, made her fall to her knees as she tried to assimilate what was happening because that couldn't be happening to her. She couldn't… Ichigo couldn't… That must be a nightmare.
— It isn't true! That is not true. I'm dreaming and this is not happening.
— Do you have dreams about me? — Ichigo asked still with a sly smile but Rukia ignored him.
Rukia pinched her arm to try to wake up from that dream, but no matter how hard she tried or how much she wanted to, she was still in that room and Ichigo was still in that bed.
— Idiot!
Rukia got up from the floor and lunged at him, intending to beat him until he begged for mercy, but Ichigo stopped her.
— Rukia, calm down!
— Do you want me to calm down? How the hell do you want me to calm down if you just ruined my life! — Rukia was struggling with Ichigo to get him to free her so she could hit him, but he was stronger than her. — It wasn't enough for you to play with my feelings, you also had to ruin my life! I hate you! I hate you!
After that sentence, Ichigo released his grip and Rukia was able to punch him in the chest as much as she could.
— Do you really hate me? — Ichigo asked in a whisper.
Rukia was about to land another blow on him but Ichigo's tone of voice, which seemed to be lost and hurt, made her stop and realize what she had said. Instead of answering, she got off the bed and walked away from him, turning her back on him.
Her feelings were a skein that not even she could untangle at that moment.
— Rukia... I wanted...
Ichigo called to her from the bed, she heard him get out of it and take a few steps in her direction. Her eyes burned but she tried to preserve at least a little of her honor in this scandalous situation.
— What else do you want from me? — Rukia asked, her voice cracking and her eyes red, turning on her feet to face him. She was crying with anger and frustration. — You didn't want to be with me and you broke off the engagement. You were not satisfied and you played with my feelings, and now this... What was my mistake? What was the harm that I did to you? Was wanting to marry you my sin? Fall in love like an idiot with you? Tell me, what was my offense!
— To you. — Ichigo replied walking up to her and bringing both hands up to her face to wipe away her tears, but Rukia pulled him away. — I don't know how else to tell you that the only thing I want is you. Only you.
— If you wanted me, then you wouldn't have hurt me. You only want me because you can't have me, because I'm no longer within your reach.
Rukia took a step away from him so he wouldn't touch her again and so she wouldn't hit him again even if he deserved it. She needed to calm down so she could think things through clearly.
— Kaien told me what happened in the greenhouse. He explained to me that between you there has never been anything beyond a friendship. I'm sorry. I was an idiot and I was jealous.
Rukia remembered that moment, the way he accused her of having something with Kaien and questioned her honor. It seemed that Ichigo cared about anything but her honor.
— A "sorry" is not going to fix anything. — Rukia clenched her fists, fighting back the urge to punch him.
— I had a fight with Kaien for that, better said, Kaien hit me for that. — Ichigo walked over to her. — I did not play with your feelings, every word and every sentence in the letters were true. They still are. I want you, it's not because I can't have you. I want you because I'm in love with you.
Rukia stepped away from him, feeling the wall at her back but not looking down.
— I can't believe you, not after watching you kiss that girl right after you sent me those flowers.
— I didn't kiss her. — Ichigo tried to explain. — All the flowers I have sent you are from the palace gardens and I was looking for the dahlias that grow in that garden. Suddenly this girl was there and she offered to help me, then she said she was bitten by an insect and I tried to help her. When I realized what she was trying to do, I backed away from her.
Ichigo took a step closer to her, he seemed desperate for her to believe him but Rukia was lost and that confession made her lower her defenses a bit.
— How can I know it's true?
— Trust me. I haven't kissed anyone since you and I haven't ruined your life either. You and I only slept together, it's the only bed in the house and I didn't want to sleep on the floor. — Ichigo tried to touch her but held back. — I wanted to explain this to you because I didn't want you to think I was playing you and because I thought I still had time, but I realize everyone's right. I messed it up.
Ichigo moved away from her and headed for that room's door to get out.
Rukia stayed where she was, not daring to move and not knowing if she wanted him to leave or not. It all came down to a leap of faith, and she didn't know if she wanted to get hurt again.
— I'll take you back to your house and you can get on with your life. I promise I won't look for you again.
Ichigo walked out of that room and Rukia took a step towards the door before stopping. She had to put her thoughts in order first before leaving that room.
Ichigo felt defeated and sank into that feeling as he made his way to the living room of that small house in the woods, which belonged to his mother and which he used to use as a refuge. He wanted to talk to her, make things right, and get her back home before they realized she was gone, but it had all gone wrong.
— Everything I touch, I ruin.
Ichigo felt his eyes burn and rubbed at them before the tears came. He didn't know if he wanted to cry out of sadness, frustration, or impotence, but the lump in his throat was there and it seemed determined to stay.
He sat in a chair in front of the table and put his head on it.
He had to take Rukia back to the War Palace and he had to do a lot of explaining in order to protect a bit of Rukia's honor, which he had ruined by having her there that night. If people found out, the scandal would be big and Rukia would be the one who would have to live with the consequences, the gossip and the doubt about her honor and her virtue.
Ichigo was thinking about what he could say when they saw him arrive with Rukia, when he heard the door to that room open and saw her leave. She had put on her shoes and carried his boots in one hand.
He hadn't even realized he was barefoot.
— Do you have food? — Rukia's voice was soft and she had a slight blush on her cheeks that Ichigo found adorable. Her eyes were still that shade of red that indicated she had cried and it made him feel like a complete jerk. — I haven't eaten since last night and I'm hungry.
Ichigo nodded and motioned to the empty seat for her to sit on, he took the cloth bag he had brought with him the day before and pulled out a piece of bread, some paper-wrapped dried meat, and a couple of apples.
— I don't have mint leaves for your morning tea, sorry. I didn't mean for us to spend the night here. — Ichigo commented as he took the small knife he carried with him and sliced through the meat so she could eat some of it.
— It's okay.
Breakfast was silent, like all those breakfasts they had always shared and which Ichigo regretted having kept that way, and he felt the overwhelming need to say something to fill the silence between them.
That breakfast was the last one they would have and that made him feel worse.
— I'm sorry I kidnapped you... I'll fix it. I will find a way to keep your honor safe. I will swear it before the Deities if necessary and…
— It doesn't matter what you say. — Rukia whispered under her breath, holding the half-eaten apple in her hand. Ichigo stopped talking. — No one will believe that nothing happened between you and me. Doubt will always be there and my virtue will be questioned. You ruined my life, Ichigo.
— Rukia, I swear I'll find a way to fix it. I will try… I will…
— You know the only way to fix it. — Rukia said that and looked away. There was a small blush on her cheeks. — I'm giving you a chance, although I think this was also part of the plan.
Hearing those words, Ichigo felt his heart start to pound too hard and a smile threatened to play on his lips. The despair began to fade as he realized that Rukia had trusted him.
— Rukia...
— But this is the last one. — Rukia turned to look at him. — I'm taking a leap of faith and I hope you're there to catch me.
— I will be there. I promise you that you will not regret it.
Rukia looked at him, as if she was evaluating the truth in his words, and nodded. Kaien had told him the day before. Love was a choice and he didn't want to lose that chance with her, not again.
The horse was moving slowly, it seemed that Ichigo was in no rush to take her back home, but that wasn't what caused Rukia's heart to race and her cheeks to blush.
She had assimilated that they would ride together, even though it was something they had never done before, and had assumed that she would be sitting behind Ichigo. She had even allowed herself to fantasize, in the midst of that leap of faith, that she could hug Ichigo from behind during the ride, but she had been wrong.
Ichigo made her sit in front of him and had lowered one of his hands to her abdomen to hold her, all with the excuse of giving her security while they rode, but being close to him made her nervous. That was perhaps the most intimate position they had shared in their lives.
Last night didn't count because she didn't even remember it, but this moment was too intimate between them and her heart didn't stop pounding inside her chest.
Rukia had tried to get him to let go, but somehow she nearly fell off her horse and Ichigo caught her again. She wasn't clumsy, she had ridden a horse many times, but Ichigo's closeness made her feel that way.
— How many chances are there that your father and brother will hit me when they see me coming with you? — Ichigo asked, wrapping his hand around her waist.
— A- a lot. — Rukia cleared her throat to erase the stutter in her voice from that grip. — You kidnapped me.
— I can pretend that I rescued you.
Rukia turned a little, enough to see him, and slapped him where she guessed his cheek was. It wasn't a hard blow, more of a soft one that almost didn't hurt, but Ichigo grumbled and took her hand.
— Hey! I'm your future husband, you can't be hitting me like that. — Ichigo scolded her, his eyebrows knit together and somewhat annoyed.
— For years I treated you nice and you ignored me, so now you'll get rough treatment.
— You're never going to let it go, are you? — Ichigo released her hand and stared at her.
— I'm still a little upset, a kidnapping won't make me forgive you any faster. — Rukia stared at him. The horse had stopped. — You could try flowers and gifts, but I can't guarantee it will work.
— And would this work?
Ichigo asked that question but didn't give her time to answer it. Rukia felt the kiss and out of inertia she closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth of those lips that kissed hers very softly, alternating the caress between each lip until the kiss ended.
She felt hot and flushed and nervous, and she quickly looked away so she wouldn't have to look at his face. Her heart was beating too fast at that moment.
— A little bit.
The answer came out in a mutter, but Ichigo heard it because he immediately gave her a kiss on the cheek.
— I will give you more kisses until you forgive me. — Ichigo started the horse to walk and whispered very slowly in her ear. — Just don't say you hate me again.
Rukia fell silent, looking at the path and realizing that the War Palace was nearby, and sighed.
— I don't hate you. You're lucky I'm still a little bit in love with you.
Rukia said that with her cheeks completely red and hot, and she heard a soft "thank you" coming from Ichigo, who hugged her tightly at that moment.
As soon as they both set foot in the War Palace, he was taken to where Lord Kuchiki and his father, the king, were. Rukia was taken with Hisana to her room, surely for the doctor to check her and check that she was healthy and without injuries.
Ichigo had thought that it would be difficult to talk to Rukia's father and had thought of some threats, but he hadn't expected his own father to be there.
Sometimes the news traveled quite fast, even though they had arrived long before noon. There was no doubt that Rukia's father and his own father were true friends.
Ichigo was silent, listening to the words of his father, who was angrier than he could remember.
— Do you have any idea what you've done? — King Isshin asked as he paced back and forth inside that office.
— I have a pretty good idea of what I didn't do. — Ichigo answered, noticing how his father knit his eyebrows as a sign that he didn't like that answer. — And I know what I did, so I'll take responsibility and I'll do the right things.
— Will you do the right thing? — Lord Kuchiki's question was tense and even in the look he was giving him, Ichigo could see the contained fury in the man. — How do you intend to make things right, Your Highness?
— It's obvious, Lord Kuchiki. — Ichigo had searched his mind for an answer to the whole problem and found one that he hoped would help. — I stole Rukia and as the ancient traditions dictate, she is now rightfully mine.
— Ichigo, be careful what you're saying. — His father warned him, who seemed to realize what those words implied. — It's Rukia you're talking about, not a peasant's daughter.
— I'm careful, unless you want me to say it out loud.
— You!
Lord Kuchiki lunged at him, but the king quickly stopped him, grabbing his arm.
— Ichigo, for what is most sacred to you, I hope you're not saying that you dishonored Rukia. — His father spoke, upset and worried about her.
Ichigo looked at his father and Rukia's father before speaking.
— I'm going to marry her. I stole her and brought her back, but I can steal her again if you refuse my actions.
Lord Kuchiki began to struggle with the king to get him to release him, promising that he would smash Ichigo's face in for dishonoring his little daughter, but the king held him tight to prevent a tragedy.
Ichigo just stood in front of both men, determination on his face but nerves running cold under his skin, ready to steal Rukia again if necessary.
— Soujun, he said that he will make things right. — The king spoke to try to calm his friend down. — We can't do anything, everything is already done.
— I can hit him. — Soujun replied, still trying to get out of the grip. — Your son has treated my daughter terribly, humiliated her, and caused her name to be repeated more times than any parent could tolerate. I can't let them get married after all he did to her.
— Rukia agreed to marry me. — Ichigo said, interrupting the conversation of those two men.
— Of course she agreed! — Lord Kuchiki yelled. — My daughter knows that after what you did to her, no one can take her seriously. Her honor has been stained because of you!
Lord Kuchiki started talking about things Ichigo didn't hear anymore because he was thinking about the last thing Rukia's father said, but he shook those thoughts out of his head as fast as he could because he didn't want there to be another misunderstanding between them.
— Don't hit him in the face or the queen will be angry. — The king said before letting go of Lord Kuchiki, who lunged at Ichigo to hit him.
Ichigo didn't have time to defend himself and felt the first blow to his stomach, which knocked the air out of him.
Rukia was in her room, arguing with Hisana about how necessary and important the checkup the doctor wanted to do to her was. That woman wasn't there to check that she was healthy, but to check that her virtue was intact and that Ichigo hadn't taken advantage of her, which was very humiliating.
— It's necessary, Rukia. You spent the night with a man, we must check that he did not force you to...
Hisana didn't finish the sentence and Rukia felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment and anger. Her sister-in-law was questioning her virtue.
— Ichigo didn't force me to do anything. — Rukia replied, crossing her arms in front of her and walking away from the doctor.
— Rukia!
Hisana was shocked by those words and Rukia realized how they sounded. She didn't bother to correct them, instead letting Hisana believe what she wanted to believe because she didn't want the doctor touching her.
Rukia listened as Hisana asked the doctor to make her some tea to prevent her from getting pregnant, and then the door closed.
Hisana walked over to her and before Rukia could move away, she felt her sister-in-law uncover her shoulder only to find something that wasn't supposed to be there. It was at that moment that Hisana began to give her a speech about virtue and good manners, which Rukia had to endure only because she had missed the medical examination.
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