Nikita picked at the bandage on her right fist. She had busted her knuckles pretty bad in her attempt to get Ari to talk. She should probably make sure nothing was broken. Nothing felt broken though, so she wrapped her hand herself. She'd rather not go to Medical. They were busy healing Ari after what she had done to him, and she didn't want to interrupt. She also didn't want to face the kind of damage she had dealt. No one in Medical would judge her for it. Someone had to force Ari to give up Saalim; torturing him was a necessary evil. However, Nikita didn't want to think of it like that. She didn't want to consider anything she did evil.
Division stopped the Crimson Resistance. Their leader was dead, Amanda was in the wind, and all traces leading back to Division had been erased. They had won. Amanda's latest scheme had been thwarted. Though, it took Division too long to learn Saalim's name. Ari should've told them before the first attack; Nikita should've gotten it out of him before the first attack. She knew torturing him wouldn't work. He had been trained better than her to resist it. She should've talked to him instead. If she had only realized what he needed the fifty million for sooner, those civilians wouldn't have died. She shouldn't have let her anger control her.
She had a few times before, each was worse than the last. Maybe Percy had been right to call her a monster. Her actions always destroyed rather than save- look at her fiancé, her best friend, and her brother. She should just stop playing the hero; it wasn't getting her far. Or maybe she should stop listening to others. Why should she believe something Percy told her anyway. His only goal had been to twist people's guilts, fears, and pain until it served his own purpose. Hell, he had only recruited her to use her as a pawn against Oversight. Nikita couldn't let him call her a monster. And she couldn't let her morose thoughts weigh her down.
Returning to Ops, Nikita listened as Alex and Owen cleaned Saalim's apartment and escaped just before the feds arrived. They didn't have to deal with the terrorists anymore. The FBI would capture the remaining members of the Crimson Resistance. Division could continue focusing on their own containment and shutting themselves down. Unfortunately, that wouldn't be possible while Amanda was still out there. She was Division's biggest priority. Once she was dealt with, they could soon be free. And she seemed to know that. Using one of her encrypted ghost phones, she called Division. Instantly, Birkhoff called Nikita, "Nikki. It's Amanda."
Ordering Birkhoff to patch her through in another room, Nikita didn't hesitate to accept the call. She knew that Amanda was only calling Division to taunt them or to play one of her mind games. However, Nikita didn't care. She wanted to talk to the bitch. She wanted to scream and shout and make her feel all her anger. It probably wasn't smart of her to do that. But, again, she didn't care. Amanda had to pay for all she had done. She couldn't maintain all that power. She had to be hurt too, "Word is that Ari Tasarov has been picked up by federal agents. I know he's there. And I know he's helping you."
"So you're just calling to confirm a rumor? Come on. I know you're better than that," Nikita couldn't stop herself from replying sardonically. She still didn't care that she wasn't being smart; she didn't think she ever would care. She felt far better rubbing salt into Amanda's wound. The bitch had pushed Ari away and forced him into Division's arms. He actually chose them over her- the lesser of two evils. Nikita knew that had to hurt Amanda (if she even had feelings). Her only ally had abandoned her. Yet that was what she deserved. She had brought all that on herself, and she had to suffer for it.
"I just have one question. Why the delay? You couldn't get Saalim's name out of him? I know you're better than that," Amanda threw Nikita's words back at her. If Ari was truly on their side, then Division should've been able to stop Saalim and turn over the Crimson Resistance far sooner than they actually did. The fact that there was a delay proved that something was wrong. Division wasn't as efficient as it once had been. The agents weren't willing to go the same lengths. That was going to be their downfall. Playing the hero always had its limits, and those limits always let the villain succeed.
That time, Nikita was smart. She knew what Amanda was doing. She wanted her to raise to her bait; wanted her to admit to the mistakes of Division. However, Nikita couldn't do it. She needed to prove that they were on the right side of things. She had to prove that being a hero could save the day. She just had to convince herself of that first. Focusing on her mission to bring down the bitch and finally return home helped. That goal in mind could keep Nikita from spiraling. She just had to hold on until then. Hopefully, then would be soon, "I didn't have to do anything. You destroyed the Crimson Resistance for us."
"I'm a hero. Just like you," Amanda easily matched Nikita's sardonic tone. No matter how many times the two talked and taunted one another, the bitch was always better at getting under the former rogue's skin. For instance, she was nothing like Nikita. Nikita never tossed aside her loved ones, nor did she attack random innocent civilians. But by saying those taunting words, Amanda forced her to doubt. She had already had those thoughts. How could she be a hero when Division still wasn't burned to the ground. How could she be a hero when more and more people got hurt. She was nothing, and Amanda knew it.
"You're gonna pay for what you've done" Relying on her rage, Nikita snapped. She couldn't let the bitch in. She had done that too much as a recruit (and that one time she was held and tortured in Division). Nikita had to be stronger than the bitch's mind games. She had to remember what she was doing in Division. After all that pain, she was setting things right. She was ensuring everyone actually had a second chance at life- not just the lie Percy and Amanda had sold. And she was taking down evil bastards one at a time. Percy and Ari were already defeated. The next would be Amanda.
"You had a chance to kill me before, but for some reason you didn't. That was a mistake you're going to be paying for for the rest of your life," Amanda threatened Nikita. The rogue should've taken the opportunity to kill Amanda in Moscow. Because she had so righteously saved her, all of that shit was occurring. The bitch wasn't taking responsibility for the pain and chaos she had caused; she pushed it all on Nikita. And the former rogue believed it. She shouldn't have played the hero. She should've killed Amanda. So many innocents would've been saved, "I guess I have a target on my back now, just like Stefan."
"You leave him out of this," Nikita shouted, pure anger dripping off her tongue. It was horrific enough that Amanda had used Stefan as a pawn before; she had made sure that Ari brought him to a basketball game so a certain golden hearted assassin wouldn't kill him. She had to leave the poor teenager alone. Just because his father was deep in corruption didn't mean that he had to be dragged through the same shit. Stefan deserved better. He deserved to be safe, sound, and oblivious to the lives of assassins and black ops units of the government. He had to be at least one kid that remained untouched by the war.
"Ari betrayed me. The boy is fair game. You should know that no children are safe in this war," With one last parting shot, Amanda ended the call. Of course the last thing she said was the thing that made Nikita the angriest; it took everything in her not to smash the cell phone on the ground. Why did the bitch always have to go so damn far. Was she not satisfied with the pain she had already caused. Why did she have to keep hurting children. It didn't serve her anymore. It only drove Division directly towards her. What exactly was she playing at besides constantly hurting Nikita. The former rogue wished she knew, so she could just stop it and end it all.
Rather than scream like she wanted to, Nikita stormed into Medical. She didn't care that Ari was exhausted and in the middle of being patched up. She needed to talk to him. He had to know that Amanda had decided to go after his son, and Nikita needed to get information out of him. The only way to stop the bitch from hurting more people was to finally kill her. And to kill her, Division needed as much intel as possible, "You're gonna sit down and give us all the details of Amanda's operation. Names, dates, everything. And if this protector of yours is as good as you say he is, then Stefan will be fine until the current deposit runs out."
"Shortly after Amanda's betrayal, I found myself alone. I ran through every possible scenario, and I realized I was in a place I had never been. I was out of moves," Ari sighed. After first losing Gogol, then Amanda, he lost all his power. There was nothing left. He could only wander hopelessly, waiting for death. He was certain he would die. However, he wouldn't allow his powerlessness or his death to affect anyone else. He was determined to protect the one person who still meant everything to him, "It suddenly became very clear to me the only thing worth fighting for was my son. Which is why I did what I had to do. I don't expect you to understand."
"You're right. I don't. But I am going to protect the innocent. And I am not gonna lose myself or the people I love in the process. Because if I do, Amanda wins. And I am never gonna let that happen," Crossing her arms, Nikita glowered. She didn't think she'd ever understand the way people sacrificed innocent lives just to protect their own interests. She couldn't understand it when Madeline tried to defend her actions with Oversight, and she couldn't understand it with Ari. However, it didn't matter. Because she was never going to end up like them. She was going to protect everyone. And she was never going to lose sight of herself or the people she loved.
Leaving Ari to rest for the night, Nikita promised that Division would do all they could to protect Stefan from Amanda; the information he gave them would really help. Ari was content with the deal, and in the morning he would start spilling his guts. Nikita nodded, then moved to Ops to update them on what was occurring. Birkhoff instantly set up a search for Stefan on Shadowbot. When Ari gave them more information, he could search for Amanda as well. Again, Nikita nodded, then moved to find Michael. It was then that she remembered that she had put her engagement ring in her pocket. She slipped it on just as she joined her fiancé, "We're all clear?"
"All traces of Division are gone. FBI believes the cover story. We're safely back in the shadows," Michael reiterated something he was positive Nikita already knew; she had been in Ops when Alex and Owen had reported they were on the way back, after all. Something must've been on her mind. She was distracted, upset, and seemed like she was ready to just stop and crumble right then and there. Michael instantly forgot about what he had wanted to show her, and he gently reached out to comfort her. She staggered closer to him, which he took as a good sign. If she was alright with his comfort, then she wasn't too upset, "Are you alright?"
No. Nikita was not alright. Like a terrible broken record in her head, her thoughts screamed that she was a monster, that she should've killed Amanda, that she was to blame for everything, that she had hurt so many people. However, she couldn't bring herself to talk about those things with her fiancé; she didn't want to put that on his shoulders. She had been burying those thoughts deep, focusing on her mission, and soldiering on. She could continue doing that. But she had to say something to answer Michael, so she went with another, easier problem, "How could they be together for twenty years, but it all be a charade?"
"It's Amanda. How could it be anything else?" Michael wanted to scoff. Not at Nikita, but at the idea that Amanda could ever be in love. She was far too self-serving. Even when she was the designated recruit therapist, she only cared about how she could help the recruit to further help herself or Division. She played mind games and was manipulative for a reason- her reason. She didn't care about anyone, so why should Ari be the exception. Their relationship only further served her means. And the second Ari was useless to her, she let him go. Those twenty years amounted to nothing.
Shrugging, Nikita didn't know how to respond to Michael. If she was being honest, there had been moments when she was a recruit- when she had just been abandoned by her mother- where she believed Amanda was being genuine. She had thought she actually cared. But that obviously wasn't the case. Amanda didn't care about anything. Her actions proved that over and over again. If she could throw away a twenty year relationship, then how could she love anything or anyone. Ari's demoralized comments made a lot more sense then. How could there be a forever when things were so fickle in their lives, "Ari said there's no forever in this business."
"Well, here's what I say to that," Pulling up the satellite images he had been studying, Michael replied. Once all traces of Division had been wiped from the terrorist's apartment, Michael began to search for places to get married. Ari's words had struck a chord, if he was being honest. He didn't want that to happen to him and Nikita. He wanted to marry her. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. It was the most important thing to him. He was determined to have a future with her, "Varca Beach. Goa. South side. There's a little hut on the water right about here. A few paces away from that is a perfect place for a ceremony."
"Does Birkhoff know you're using his satellite to plan our wedding?" Glancing over her shoulder at her fiancé, Nikita snarked. Birkhoff always hated when one of them touched his stuff. It didn't matter how long they had been friends, nobody messed with his tech. Especially not Michael with his tendency to screw up a hack. But maybe if he discovered they were planning their wedding, he'd relax a bit. Aside from wanting to get married once they had their pardons, Nikita and Michael hadn't actually planned anything for their big day. They should get on that, starting with picking the perfect day and the perfect place.
"I'll let him pick the caterer," Michael joked. There was no way in hell he'd ever let Birkhoff be in charge of anything food related- if he had his way, everything would be buttery popcorn, greasy egg rolls, and super caffeinated energy drinks. But it didn't really matter anyway. Michael wasn't planning a huge wedding that'd require a caterer. He had had a huge wedding with Elizabeth (mostly to make up for the fact that their jobs had kept them from a honeymoon) and though they had loved it, he couldn't see that for him and Nikita. An intimate wedding on the beach with only their family was perfect. They could just have peace.
"Oh no you won't," Nikita laughed. That was the first time she had laughed- genuinely laughed- in days. She was honestly surprised by it. She didn't think she could manage a happy expression with everything that was going on. But Michael laughed too, bringing a smile to her lips. Also, with the perfect beach for a ceremony in front of her, Nikita began to actually picture her wedding. It had never been so clear before. Yet then, she could imagine what the day would be like; she'd be surrounded by friends, she'd be happy and free, and she'd be married to the man she loved. It just seemed so perfect. There was a chance she could have a happy future.
As she stared at the beach her fiancé had picked for their wedding, Nikita smiled. She finally relaxed, her swirling terrible thoughts melting away to happy ones. Michael smiled beside her. He was glad that he wasn't the only one who found peace in thinking about their future wedding. It was like the light at the end of the very long tunnel. They could actually live happily ever after. The two simply had to pick a date first. Michael knew Nikita would want her sisters at her wedding, so picking a date when they had their pardons would be impossible. Yet they had pulled off miracles before. Why couldn't their wedding be one, "Let's set a date and stick to it."
"Done and done," Nikita echoed something Michael had once told her. It was well over a year ago. They were deciding on where to go for a weekend getaway; he said 'Aruba', yet she said 'Barbados'. He quickly agreed with where she wanted to go with a kiss and a simple 'done and done'. So after he had kissed the top of her head before requesting they pick a date, she found herself easily agreeing with his words. He smiled and wrapped an arm around her. She copied him. Together, the engaged couple left Ops and headed home. They could keep planning their wedding while they also shut down Division. It was a goal that'd keep them afloat.
