Dear Diary,
I am the best mother in the whole world! Hecate said her first word today. Wanna know what it was?
It was Azura!
Hah! In your face, Luz! I told you I'd get that to be her first word. You should know better than to underestimate me by now.
Yours faithfully,
Amity Noceda
Dear Diary,
Hecate took her first steps today! Luz was doing a book signing in Seattle, so she missed it, but I thankfully had the presence of mind to record it on my phone. Sooner or later, our little girl is gonna be running off and having wild adventures of her own. I mean, I don't want her to, because, gee, that sounds really dangerous, but she is Luz's daughter. A bit of chaos is to be expected. I'd worry if I didn't get it; that would mean she's plotting something.
Yours faithfully,
Amity Noceda
Dear Diary,
OH MY GOSH, HECATE IS STARTING TO LEARN TO READ! And she's so advanced for her age too. The other day, she discovered what her teacher was planning by reading the lesson plan she had left on her desk. Luz says that in a few years, she's going to be ready to start reading the Animorphs books. I can't see any problems with that. They look like fun, cute science fiction stories. Isn't the human expression to always judge a book by its cover? That doesn't sound right…eh, whatever. What could possibly go wrong?
Yours faithfully,
Amity Noceda
Dear Diary,
It's been a couple months since I've written in you. In my defense, how was I supposed to realize that the giraffes would regain their sapience due to the magic flowing into earth from the portals and try to destroy the universe? Thank goodness humans discovered their one weakness (bullets) and, after a truly epic battle, stopped them from relaunching the Camelopardine Empire. It was almost worth it to see King piloting that mecha, though.
In much more important news, Hecate is doing very well and making friends! Actually, she's quite the little charmer and has more than a few friends. Luz doesn't understand how she managed to pull it off given her own past. I told Luz she should give herself some more credit. If she'd grown up here in the Demon Realm, she would have been absurdly popular. Anyway, I have a hunch my little girl is gonna break some hearts one day! Unless she's ace like her Uncle Gus, of course.
Yours faithfully,
Amity Noceda
Hi Mommy's Diary!
My name is Hecate and I am eight years old and my Mommy is letting me write in you cause it's my birthday! Mommy is sad sometimes, but when she writes in you, she's less sad, so thank you for helping Mommy be less sad when I can't.
For my birthday present, Abuela is going to take me on vacation to the Human Realm so Mommy and Mami can spend some alone time together. That doesn't make sense. How can you be together and alone? I am going to a place called Disneyworld. Mami says it is the most magical place on Earth. But Nini Vee says there's no real magic there. I guess I'll find out who's right when I get there.
Hola Amity,
This is Camila, and as you might have noticed, Hecate and I are back early from Disneyworld. The fault was not hers; it was mine, so please don't get angry at her. I also kind of have a criminal record now…well, more of one than I already have.
You see, I lost my temper and punched un estúpido in the throat. I almost killed him. But he deserved it. We were minding our own business, lining up for one of the rides, when he started insulting Hecate. The poor girl is sensitive about the fact that she only has one pointy ear and one round ear, and an underdeveloped bile sac, so I saw red. He called her a dirty half-breed and I just snapped, nuera. I apologize. That is nowhere close to the example I wanted to set for her.
I'm going to be looking after her until you get home. I'm so sorry.
Dear Diary,
In retrospect, I probably should have made it clearer to Hecate that her abuela's actions were not acceptable. I'm not one of those people who says that violence is never an answer, but it should not be used cavalierly, and Hecate seems to have learned the wrong lesson from Camila.
Luz and I got called to Principal Bump's office, just like old times, a few weeks after Camila and Hecate returned from Disneyworld. This was the first time this had happened. Unlike her adoptive grandmother and, to a slightly lesser extent, Luz, Hecate has always been well-mannered and polite, the exact opposite of a troublemaker. It was a huge surprise.
"I should have known that I'd someday be seeing Lord Calamity's granddaughter in my office," Bump said mournfully. "It was inevitable."
"I would kindly ask you to refrain from judging Hecate based on the actions of the Right Honorable Edalyn Clawthorne," I responded, my voice as cold as ice. As former prime minister, Eda had the right to use that title, even though it was hardly a term I would ever even think of using to describe her. Luz gave a grin.
Bump cleared his throat. "Quite. We are here to discuss her own actions, namely the fact that Miss Noceda – let me see these notes here. Ah, yes, punched another student in the solar plexus, kicked him in the groin, and finished off by choking him into unconsciousness." I groaned. I should have known that letting Hunter teach Hecate self-defense would come back to haunt me.
"Why did you do that?" Luz said, sounding equally aghast and impressed. "How did you do that?"
"Uncle Hunter said the most important thing to do in a fight is to disable the enemy as quickly as possible," Hecate responded. "It's very important to listen to family."
"It's also very important to follow the rules and use your words, Hecate," I said sternly. Luz arched an eyebrow at my naked hypocrisy. "You were defending yourself?"
Hecate shook her head. "Brad said mean things about Stella." Stella was a human exchange student at Hexside. "He called her a," and then she uttered a word that I have no desire to repeat here diary; it makes me angry to think that Hecate was exposed to it at all. Luz let out a gasp. "When that mean human called me nasty things on Earth, Abuela hit him. So I thought that was the right thing to do. If I hadn't stopped Brad, he'd have just done worse.
Luz cleared her throat. "Hexside does have a discipline system, Hecate."
Hecate rolled her eyes. She was so sassy sometimes – pure Luz. "Really? Brad is the star of the junior grudgby team. And I quote, 'Boscha got away with murder? I can't say I approve but at least she's trying new things.'"
Bump groaned. "I was…that was a joke. How do you not understand that was a joke after all these years, Mrs. Noceda?" I rolled my eyes. That wasn't anywhere close to the end of things Luz hadn't figured out. He looked Hecate in the eyes. She hadn't inherited her mother's aversion to eye contact. "Miss Noceda, I did indeed favor certain individuals in your parents' day, but that was many years ago. It was been brought to my attention that I needed to be fairer, and I have been trying hard to live up to that."
He steepled his fingers. "That being said, I am suspending you for two weeks. Ordinarily, I could overlook fighting, especially given Mr. Brook's unseemly behavior, but it was only due to luck that you did not seriously injure him." He smirked. "Mr. Brook, on the other hand, will be kicked off the junior grudgby team for a period no less than one year. Hopefully, that will teach him to be more respectful in the future. Away with you all."
Hecate looked ashamed of herself as we escorted her away from the school. "I was just trying to help my friend."
"I know, sweetie," Luz said. "But, Hecate, you don't have to do everything yourself. Even if you didn't trust Bump, you should have gone to us and we could have helped you." She kissed her on the forehead. "Don't tell anyone, but I'm kind of proud of you. I wish I had someone as brave as you in my life back when I was your age…"
I crossed my arms and cleared my throat meaningfully. "Uh, right," Luz said. "But you still shouldn't go beating people up, Hecate. That's wrong."
"I'll try not to get caught anymore, mami!" she 'assured' us and skipped ahead. Yep. She was definitely Lord Calamity's granddaughter.
Yours faithfully,
Amity Noceda
Dear Diary,
It's a very special day today! Luz has been collaborating with an up and coming animator from the Human Realm named Dana Terrace. It's taken so many years – seriously, Hecate is eleven now – but Terrace has finally managed to get an animated show set up based on Luz's adventures in the Demon Realm as a child. Disney is producing it, and it's guaranteed two seasons. Luz is certain it'll get renewed for a third. And today, the family is watching the first episode!
"I totally looked cooler when I was doing my book report," Luz protested in the very first scene. "I was an avant-garde visionary! And I don't even look anything like that!"
"I can't believe that Alex Hirsch guy gave such a good impression of Hooty," Luz mused when he was introduced.
"He voiced King too," I reminded her.
Luz blinked. "Whoa. Talented. But I bet he couldn't voice…" she searched her mind for the most unlikely of people. "…Soos!"
"Wait, Eda really forced you to steal King's crown – which isn't even real – before she let you return home?" I asked Luz after the aforementioned incident. "I thought I was just misinterpreting when you mentioned that!"
"Wow, Mommy, can I start a prison riot too?" Hecate asked after Luz released the prisoners.
Luz opened her mouth to speak, but when I glared at her, she responded, "Only if your mother says it's okay." That seemed like a reasonable compromise in my opinion.
"Mami, why did Abuela send you to that camp?" Hecate asked when the show was over, her voice wavering a bit. "Will you send me there too?"
Luz shook her head frantically. "No, sweetie, that camp turned out to be a very bad place. Your abuela didn't know that when she sent me there, though. She made a mistake, but she was acting out of love. And I'm not going to send you anywhere, I promise."
So overall, The Owl House has been a reasonably good hit. I just hope that Terrace doesn't delve too deeply into the aspects of my past that I'm ashamed of. With my luck, she probably will. She did mention trying to make it as accurate as possible. Well, I'll blow up that bridge when I come to it, as the humans say.
Yours faithfully,
Amity Noceda
Dear Diary,
Well, I had a feeling this was coming. The third episode of The Owl House just aired, and it showed me bullying Willow. When she saw how horrible I was to Willow, Hecate looked at me with a betrayed expression. "They're lying, aren't they?" she asked desperately. "You wouldn't hurt Aunt Willow like that, would you, mom?"
I took a deep breath. "They're telling the truth. I did hurt Aunt Willow. My parents, Hecate, they were very, very bad people, especially my mother. I felt like I had to hurt Aunt Willow to make them proud of me. But I was wrong. There's no excuse for hurting people like I did. But that was a long time ago, sweetheart. I'm a better person now…and this show will help show you how much your mami helped me become that. Do you understand?"
Hecate still looked slightly hurt, but nodded. "You changed."
"Anyone can change. Unfortunately, very few people do. I was lucky to be one of them. I'm just glad you're a good girl, Hecate, and not like I was at your age. I'm very proud of you."
So that went better than expected, Diary!
Yours faithfully,
Amity Noceda
Dear Diary,
The Grom episode has arrived. Luz's reaction to the scene where she finally learns she was my Grom crush? "This has gone way too far! I can't believe I trusted Dana like this! To lie about this? That's low! I'm gonna get my lawyers to sue her for libel!"
There's no helping some people, is there?
Yours faithfully,
Amity Noceda
Dear Diary,
Something very significant happened today, and it's changed everything I thought I knew. Not for the worse or for the better. It just changed, that's all.
I've noticed that Hecate has been withdrawn lately. It's been like this for a couple of weeks and started not too long after Hecate's twelfth birthday. Luz, bless her heart, has tried to get Hecate to open up, but her wildly ambitious schemes keep on backfiring. I've just been patiently waiting for Hecate to tell me what's wrong, and today it paid off.
"Mom…mami?" Hecate said, voice sounding weak and almost frightened. "I have something to tell you both." Hecate's fists were clenched, the whole body in a flight or fight scenario. Whatever was going on, it was clearly extremely serious.
I leaned forward earnestly. "You're my daughter, sweetie. You can tell me anything and I won't get upset."
"I'm not," Hecate blurted. "I'm not your daughter. I'm not a girl. I'm a boy."
"HA!" Luz shouted, her face triumphant. She pointed a finger at my face. "I KNEW IT! I told you the whole time you were pregnant with him, we're having a boy, we're having a boy! But you didn't listen! I was right the whole time!"
I looked disapprovingly at her. How could she be making light of a situation that was clearly frightening Hecate out of his wits? But then I noticed that Hecate was looking much more relaxed, and I revised my opinion. Maybe a little bit of humor was fine.
I stood up from the couch and wrapped my son in a hug. "I am so proud of you for having the courage to tell me that. I know it could not have been easy."
"Yeah," Hecate said in a small voice. I smiled at him. "It wasn't. Uh, I told Uncle Edric and Nini Avery and Nini Vee before this…I hope you're not upset?
"Not at all," I assured him. Hecate was always extremely close to Edric and it was only natural he'd be wanting to consult to the members of his family who had a rocky relationship with gender. "So you want he/him pronouns?" I went on. Hecate nodded. "And what about another name? Is there another name you want us to call you by?"
"I don't mind being called Hecate," he responded. "She's the best character in the Good Witch Azura novels, after all." I stuck my tongue out at Luz when I was sure Hecate wasn't looking. "But…I think I'd like a different name. And I want you to give it to me, moms."
I gestured at Luz. "I got it wrong the first time. It's your turn."
Luz considered the question extremely carefully. It was a momentous decision, we all knew. "Hermes," she said eventually. "After the Greek messenger god." Also the god of thieves, I recalled. No doubt her way of honoring Eda in a subtle way. "If that's all right with you?"
"I love it!" Hermes said, looking happy for the first time in the conversation.
"We'll make sure to tell Principal Bump about the changes to your name and pronouns as soon as possible," I assured Hermes. "And soon, we'll make an appointment with the Healing Coven to decide how best to handle your transition, okay, sweetie?"
Hermes nodded. He looked shellshocked. He wasn't expecting such a positive response, not out of any rational fear, but just because he inherited Luz's tendency towards catastrophizing. "Thank you, moms. Thank you so much."
"Let's go out for ice scream! I want mother-son bonding time!" Luz shouted.
So it looks like Luz was indeed right the first time, Diary. I have a son. Luz is never gonna let me live this one down, is she?
Yours faithfully,
Amity Noceda
Dear Diary,
My little boy has his first crush! It's so cute. Not that he has any clue that what he's feeling is a crush. But I can't help but notice the way his cheeks redden when he talks about Stella, who is now the only gorgon student in Hexside. Stella used to be a human exchange student – you may recall me mentioning Hermes defending her rather violently from a bully a couple years ago – but a few months ago, she got infected with a virus that turned her into a gorgon. The gorgon virus hasn't been seen in thousands of years, since witches are now immune to it. Humans, it would seem, are not. Now she's got a hive mind of snakes in her hair, has to take potions to stop her snakes from turning people to stone, and her parents have disowned her, forcing her to stay with Willows' fathers on a permanent basis. Practically everyone she knows thinks she's evil.
Everyone except Hermes, who has been busily defending her from bullies. Every day, he's got something new to say about Stella, how brave she is, how nice she is, how her snakes are just the coolest thing ever. It's so adorable to watch. I may need to help the two of them along a little, just in case he inherited the patented Luz obliviousness.
In the meantime, I'm going to have to bite the arrow and give Hermes the hippogriffs and fire wasps talk, just to be on the safe side. I got my talk from Emira. Needless to say, I'm not going to subject my son to that.
Yours faithfully,
Amity Noceda
Dear Diary,
Hermes is fourteen years old now, and his first Grom is imminent. The good news is that he didn't inherit the Noceda obliviousness. The bad news is that he inherited the Bright lack of courage. He is now finally aware that he has a crush on Stella…and he's absolutely convinced that there is no way she would possibly want to ever date him. Even though everyone, even LUZ, can see that Stella has a raging crush on him too.
"I just can't take the risk, mom!" he fretted as he paced around my living room nervously. "What if she says no?"
I sighed. I did not want to do this. I've been enjoying holding this over Luz's head for the entirety of our relationship. But Hermes's need was bigger than mine. "You know, Hermes, I was once in your exact position," I said. "I had a crush on a certain human exchange student." I looked meaningfully at Luz. "And I was so scared that she'd reject me. It was literally my worst fear. I wish that I had the courage to tell her, to ask her out like I wanted to…but I didn't. Of course, it all worked out in the end, but that was because she worked up the courage to ask me."
Luz looked sympathetically over at Hermes. "Sweetie, I know this is scary. But I think you underestimate yourself. You're a handsome young man, kind, polite, charming…I think if you just ask her out, you might just be surprised."
Hermes took a few deep breaths to steady himself. "Okay. Okay, I'll do it!"
Thank goodness Luz and I agreed to be chaperones for this Grom, because it gave us a chance to do some…reconnaissance. Okay, blatantly spy on our son, but in the name of love, which means it's fine! We watched, with the aid of invisibility glyphs, as Hermes steeled himself and walked over to Stella. Her snakes looked very intrigued and Stella, even more so. "Stella, uh, will you be my date to Grom?" Hermes blurted out. Not quite as eloquent as I had hoped, but, hey, since I didn't say anything at all at my Grom, who am I to judge?
"Really? You mean it?" Stella asked, her eyes widening in disbelief and joy. "Of course I want to be your date! Man, I've been flirting with you for months and you haven't gotten a single hint." Ah. He got the Bright indecisiveness and the Noceda obliviousness. A truly deadly combination. "I was worried I was just gonna have to kiss you."
Hermes' ears turned a brilliant scarlet. "You can! Uh, if you want."
"Just one second," Stella said and stalked over to us. Her snakes all hissed menacingly at us and we dropped our illusion glyphs in fright. "Spying is very rude. Give us some privacy."
And so we obliged her. "Looks like our kid's got more game than I did," Luz said in a proud tone. "Kind of looks like it's come full circle."
I held out my arm. "Well…if it's come full circle, would you care to dance?"
And she did.
Yours faithfully,
Amity Noceda
Late that night, Luz shook me awake, and in an utterly shocked voice, she said, "Wait, I was your Grom crush the whole time?!"
