September 1928
The death of Granny Violet had left Sybbie feeling all kinds of things. She was struggling to understand why she was gone. She knew where she went; she saw the casket drive away and listened to her father explain that her granny was in Heaven, but she didn't understand why she went there. Why did she leave? Sybbie wanted her to stay.
As Sybbie thought about this, tears began to well up in her eyes. Lucy found Sybbie sitting on a boulder outside, tears silently rolling down her face, and her heart broke for the little girl. She didn't know Violet very well, but it was still always hard when someone died. It was made harder because of how hard it was for Tom and Sybbie. Violet had supported Tom and Sybil's relationship sooner than some of their other family, and she had become closer to her grandson-in-law in recent years, making her death quite hard for him. And it was hard on Sybbie too because of how much she loved her grandmother and how little she understood the realities of death. Lucy wanted so badly to help her stepdaughter cope with this.
As Lucy approached her, she began to speak in a gentle voice. "Sybbie, I'm here," she said, placing a hand on her stepdaughter's back softly so as not to startle her. Sybbie turned and leaned into her and began crying harder. Lucy just kept rubbing her back soothingly and whispering to her, "I'm here. It's alright. Let it out. I'm here."
Once Sybbie had let out most of her tears, she pulled back and looked up at her stepmother. Lucy took out a handkerchief and handed it to her with a reassuring smile that told Sybbie she was safe to ask her what she wanted to know. "Why do people go to Heaven?" she asked.
Lucy wasn't sure if there was a right way to answer this question, and she hoped she was going to say the right thing. She knew Tom and Sybbie were Catholic while she was Anglican, but she felt, at the core of things, the answer any Christian would give to this question would be much the same regardless of their denomination. "I think God decides it is time for us to go and meet him. He knows when people have done everything they need to do on Earth and are ready for a rest then it is time for them to go to Heaven."
"Did Granny Violet do everything she needed to do on Earth?"
"I think so. She lived rather a long life, and did a lot of things. And I think once she had your inheritance settled, she felt ready for a rest in the Kingdom of Heaven."
"Why didn't she tell me that?" Sybbie asked. She had to admit to herself that she was feeling kind-of angry Granny Violet had left them behind.
"I think she just didn't want to upset you," Lucy explained gently, "or have you fretting every moment that you were going to lose her soon."
"But if I had known, I could have prepared!"
"Well, she didn't know exactly when she would leave," Lucy said calmly. "She was ill for a long time, so she knew one day she would stop being ill and go rest with God, but she didn't know the exact day, so she couldn't have told you. Now do you see why she didn't want you worrying over it every day?"
Sybbie nodded. She had to admit that did help her feel better. She was grateful her grandmother had thought about her feelings. And she was also glad that she was resting and not ill anymore. She still missed her though, and she wished she had gotten to say goodbye.
"I'm still sad though," Sybbie confessed.
"That's alright, love," Lucy consoled, "being sad is a perfectly normal emotion, especially when you lose someone you love."
"What do you do when you feel sad?"
"Well, I try to remind myself that my sadness is only temporary. Soon, I'll see a butterfly or hear your dad tell a joke or see my mum smile, and then I'll feel happy again," she explained. "Even if it doesn't feel like it right now, I know everything will be okay."
"It will?"
"Yes, it certainly will," Lucy assured her. "And you can always come to me or your dad or your aunt Mary or aunt Edith if you don't feel okay, alright? We will always do our best to help you feel better."
Sybbie nodded, feeling much better about her emotions now that she had talked about them with Lucy and gotten her questions answered. "Thank you, Lucy," she said.
"You're welcome, sweetpea," Lucy said, wrapping her arm around the girl and pulling her into her side. "You know what else helps me feel better when I'm sad?"
"What?"
"Hot cocoa," she answered. "C'mon, let's go get some."
