**Meant to publish this last night with the others but wasn't feel well. So here you go. We are getting to the meat and bones of it now. More drama to come. Enjoy**
SONG: I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy…I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need…I'll love you more with every breath truly, madly, deeply do ~ Truly Madly Deeply by Savage Garden
Chapter 18
Scott:
Wednesday morning, 6 am and I'm lying in bed staring at the ceiling. I'm going out of my mind avoiding Lydia as much as possible. Stiles and I aren't talking, and this stalker is still out there. Hearing Lydia scream absolutely crushed me and I could feel it wasn't a scream of fear but of anger, frustration, and pain. I shared those feelings. I wanted to go to her but Allison text me not to. That she will take care of her. I sent her a text instead but she didn't respond and that felt like another blow to my chest.
I can feel my control slipping more and more. I've been more aggressive on the field, losing my temper all the time for no reason. I started having nightly runs just to release some pent-up tension. I've taken Liam with me a couple of those times, showing him how to track and how to use his enhanced senses. He's catching on quick and working hard to control his temper. He says that Mason has been helping him find ways to handle it and get himself under control when he feels he's going to lose it. I told him the story of Stiles shooting lacrosse balls at me. He laughed so hard he had tears in his eyes. Mason researched and found a mantra for Liam to use when he starts to slip, a Buddhist mantra, 'what three things cannot long be hidden, the sun, the moon and the truth'. I have heard him whisper that to himself on the field a few times and it seems to be working.
I dragged myself out of bed and did a quick workout before showering and dressing. I checked in on my mom who was fast asleep and left with Isaac. We were meeting up with the group to go over the swipe card report. I prepared myself to lock down all urges to go to her.
We were the last to the room and my eyes immediately found Lydia. She didn't look my way. She actually didn't look anyone's way, just stared straight ahead at the whiteboard. I flinched and a hand went to rub over my heart, I could feel her and the feelings were strong and not good. I shook it off and closed the door going to stand next to Liam and Mason.
"Okay, so I had Mason run the report starting for the last two weeks. I went through the list and there isn't much here. But there is two name that stood out, one was Mr. Odesida our Spanish teacher and if it's him then…ew."
"If it's him I'm dropping Spanish." Allison said in disgust. I chuckled and caught Lydia flinch rubbing a hand against her chest.
"I don't blame you. Now the other name is who I am betting on but I can't place him."
"Who is it?" I asked.
"Greenberg."
Lydia's eyes snapped to him.
"John Greenberg?" she asked.
"Yeah, you know him?"
"Yeah, he's a lacrosse player, or use to be. I think he got kicked off. But I remember he asked me out a couple of times. The first time being freshman year but I said no because I wasn't dating then. He asked me out again last year too, but I was with Jackson then. I've had a few classes with him in the last couple years. He used to stare a lot."
"So, he would have reasons to stalk you, in his mind at least." Stiles said.
"What because she didn't feel for him what he felt for her he became obsessed? How does that make sense?" Mason asked.
"It doesn't." I told him keeping my eyes on Lydia even though she avoided looking at me.
"So, we are pretty sure it's Greenberg." Isaac said. "What's the plan?"
"The problem is I don't know what this guy looks like. I remember him being on the team, mostly because coach was always yelling at him. So, I think maybe check out last year's yearbook and then try to find him. I can give his name to my dad so he can look into as well. But until we have something concrete it will be hard to do anything about it." Stiles said.
"Of course." Lydia whispered. I twitched in her direction but stilled myself.
"I'll check out the yearbook-." Stiles said.
"No, I will, at lunch. You just get the info to your dad." I told him.
"Scott, you don't have to-." He started.
"I got it." I didn't mean to snap but that's how it came out. Which caused an uncomfortable silence.
"Great. Is that all?" Lydia asked.
"Uh, yeah. That's it." Stiles said.
"Okay then."
I moved in her direction, but she shook her head.
"I'm fine."
She opened the door and walked away, from me.
"I'll take care of her." Allison said with a pat on my arm before following after her.
I clenched my fist and took deep breathes. Mason and Liam followed them out the door.
"Hey Scott, can I talk to you for a minute." Stiles said.
"Not now."
"Just for a second."
"I said not now." I rasped out.
"Yep, we're done here." Isaac said grabbing my arm and dragging me out and into the nearest bathroom.
After making sure it was empty, he blocked the door. Before I could realize what I was doing, my fist went through the mirror over the sink sending shards of glass all over the place. The good thing is it hurt enough to calm me down.
"Feel better?" Isaac asked.
"Marginally."
"That's better than the killing spree you looked like you were ready to commit before."
"That's not completely out of the realm of possibility." I admitted.
"Because of Stiles or the stalker?"
"Do I have to choose?" I glanced over at him.
"Not necessarily." He smirked. "Look Scott, I get it, as much as I can, why you and Lydia are putting yourself through this but is it worth it?"
"He's my best friend." I sighed.
"He's not acting like much of a friend right now though. You guys have known each other ages, longer than he's had this crush on Lydia. But you're just one more moment away from completely going on a rampage. For what? She's feeling it. You're feeling it. Neither of you are happy. Is it worth it?"
"I don't know anymore."
I made it to class right before the first bell. Stiles and Lydia were already there. Stiles zoned out tapping his pen against his desk. Lydia looked over at me as I sat down.
"Is that blood?" she whispered grabbing my arm. I saw Stiles tilt his head as if listening in but didn't turn around.
"Just a little accident. I'm fine." I told her.
I couldn't help but grab a hold of her hand, the contact soothing something inside me. She bit her bottom lip and nodded, slipping her hand from mine. That was the last interaction we had all day. French we both made it to class exactly on time and she was out of her seat as soon as the bell rang to end the class.
Practice I was just as aggressive as I had been the last few and coach was blowing the whistle left and right for my use of excessive force. The last straw came when the same player that had been hassling Liam last week came at me this week and I knocked him on his ass. Actually, I rammed into him so hard he went flying and landed hard. Coached marched out to the field blowing his whistle so hard his face turned red.
"What the hell was that McCall? Are you trying to kill someone out here?"
"No coach. Sorry."
"You're done for the day, McCall. Head out. And figure out what ever you have going on, so this doesn't happen again."
I looked over at the bleachers and Lydia and Allison both looked worried.
I sped off towards the locker room, just ready to be done for the day. I redressed quickly and was pulling on a shirt when the door open. I expected it to be Isaac, but it wasn't.
"Stiles, I'm not in the mood."
"I know Scott, but I need to say this."
"No, you don't. You said all you needed to say in the woods. There's nothing else to say."
"Yes, there is, because I was wrong." He exclaimed.
"About what?"
"You, me, Lydia. All of it. I was wrong."
I stared at him.
"I thought, you felt about her the same way I felt about her."
"I do." I said confused.
"No Scott you don't. You feel more. A lot more." he sighed.
"Stiles…" I shook my head.
"I went and talked to Derek yesterday. Why didn't you tell me?"
"Tell you what?"
"About alpha mating."
"Because it doesn't matter, I told you that."
"But it does matter, Scott. And it explains so much."
"It explains nothing. If this is just because of that then-."
"But its not. You're losing control, yes. The need to near her probably. But how you feel, how she feels. That's not because of that. It's just you… and her."
"Stiles…"
"I watched you. The last few weeks I have watched you and how you respond to her, how she responds to you. I watched how your eyes get this stupid doughy look in them when she looks at you. How as soon as she's in the same room and I mean the split second when no one else would even realize she's there, you let out this gasp like you have been holding your breath forever just waiting. How you know exactly what to do to calm her down, to bring her back. You don't even hesitate or panic or lose your control even though I know you want to. You wait until she is okay, before you are not, because she is your top priority." He said looking at me.
"I noticed how much it is gutting you to stay away from her." He said sitting heavily on a bench. "And I noticed how devastated she is staying away from you."
"But that's all a part of this alpha mate thing, the instinct the urges. It's a package deal."
"No Scott, it's not. It might have made the connection but it's not the main thing. Part of it is sure but the rest is just… you two. You love each other. More than I ever loved her. More than I could ever love her." He said looking at his hands.
I sat down next to him wondering where this was coming from. It was just a couple days ago he wanted me to stay away from her.
"You two were made for each other. Not to sound completely cheesy but you complete each other. I think… I think I was angry at the fact that I built this whole life in my head for me and her. I had this plan that we would be the ones to be together and I didn't want that plan to change. It was becoming an obsession." He swallowed hard. "What Mason said this morning, got to me. This guy that's stalking her has turned her not wanting him into an obsession and I could see myself heading down that same path and dragging everyone else along for the ride."
He looked at me and I could see how hard this was for him.
"I don't want to go down that path. I don't want to become him."
"You're not. You're nothing like him."
"But I could easily be. I could so easily be him in a blink of an eye for a girl that I never even seriously went after."
"I saw your heartbreak this morning Scott. When Lydia walked away from you, I saw you shatter, and I never want to be the reason for that. I've been living in a fantasy world that had no basis in reality and its time I woke up." He looked over at me. "So, I'm giving you my permission or blessing or whatever to go to her, be with her."
"Stiles, I don't want to hurt you anymore then I already have."
"You didn't. I hurt myself. I let myself be the hurt by holding on to this for so long. And I guess a part of me wanted you to hurt as well because of it. What you said in the woods. I heard every word you said, I just didn't want to accept it. You laid your heart bare and let me in to see exactly what you were going through, and I got it. Then to hear Lydia scream yesterday." he shook his head. "I've been making this all about me and it's not. It was never about me, but it was easier for me to keep my anger believing it was. Believing that I was the wronged party in all this. I'm sorry, for everything. For giving you such a hard time about this."
I nodded and stood.
"Just, uh… do me one favor." He stood.
"Sure. Anything."
"Take care of her Scott."
"I will." I promised. I gave my best friend in the world a hug. "Thank you."
He nodded.
"You should go. Allison and Lydia left right after you were kicked off the field."
"Are you sure-."
"Go. She needs you."
Lydia:
I sat heavily on my bed, feeling numb. Everything felt as if it were spiraling out of control. I was feeling out of control, like I couldn't find my balance. But I knew where my balance was, Scott. I rubbed a hand against my chest trying to ease the pain there. I tried to draw in a deep breath but even that hurt. I walked away from him. I didn't want to, I really didn't. I wanted to go to him, hold him. Because I knew that if I did all the anxiety and fear would go away.
"Hey, how-." Allison started.
"Please don't ask me how I'm doing?" I sighed warily. She nodded and sat next to me.
"Okay. I won't but if you want to talk…"
"I'm… all talked out. It's the same song different album. Honestly, it's draining me to keep talking about it, to keep thinking about it. I'm stretched so thin I feel like I will break. I just want to… forget. For one night I want to forget about stalkers and visions and Stiles and Scott. Just for one night I don't want to feel anything. Nothing at all."
"Okay. I can do that. How about you go take a nice hot shower and we'll just veg out in front of the TV with a pint of ice cream. No thinking, no feeling, nothing."
"That sounds perfect. Thank you."
She kissed me on the cheek and hopped up.
"I'll pick out something funny. Get ready." She said leaving.
I got up and dragged myself to the bathroom. I tried to block everything from my mind as hot water poured over me, but he still crossed my mind. As my hands slid over my skin, I couldn't help but imagine what it would feel like it they were his hands. If he was here rubbing soap over my skin, his lips kissing my neck, his body-.
"Stop it, Lydia. It's not going to happen." I scolded myself.
I finished quickly and was combing through my hair when I heard his voice.
"Where's Lydia?" Scott asked.
"She's in her room. What's wrong?"
"Nothing, I just need to tell her something." He said and I heard him make his way down the hall. I set my comb down just as he stepped in the room.
"Scott, what are you doing here?"
"This." And then we were kissing, passionately. I didn't stop to think about it, I just kissed him back. It felt like I could breathe again. Every need, every want, every urge was poured into that kiss. When oxygen became a necessity, he pulled back.
"I can't fight this anymore. I don't want to. I need you, Lydia. I love you."
"You love me?"
"More than anything. More than everything. I love you, so much."
My eyes blurred as I looked into his eyes.
"I love you too." I told him and kissed him again.
