JENNIE
Once the guys had cleaned up and gotten their stuff ready, it was time to head out. Lisa had already packed a bag and shoved it in her trunk, probably figuring that the going away party might turn into an overnight stay. I hadn't, and still wearing my Pete's uniform under my jacket, I slid into Lisa's Chevelle beside her.
I hated the drive there. It was like how an army wife must feel, driving her partner off to war. Alright, I take that back, the situations were nothing alike. Those women were living with the potential knowledge that they may never see their husbands again. What Lisa was doing wasn't nearly so treacherous. But…it still felt the same. And in all honesty, the possibility that I could never see her again was there. Not because of her being killed in battle, but because she could be swept away by fame.
She could be discovered by some record big-wig, offered the world, then sent off to parts unknown to become a cog in the entertainment industry wheel. She wouldn't have time for me then. And, if she was constantly surrounded by dying-to-please star-effers…she may not want me then either.
Rolling my eyes as I watched the tail lights of Jackson's van and Evan's car, I reminded myself that Lisa wasn't interested in a woman who only wanted what she was, and not who she was. She'd had that…for years…and she wanted more. She wanted me. Even if this was her moment, she wouldn't let us go. I just had to keep believing that.
Setting her hand on my thigh, Lisa looked over at me. "It won't happen."
I blinked as I looked over at her, wondering how she knew what I was thinking. Smiling, she shook her head and pointed at me. "Whatever bad scenario you've created in your head, where I become a rich and famous douche and leave you high and dry…it won't happen that way."
Frowning, I tilted my head at her. "I thought you said you couldn't read minds."
Laughing, she twisted back to the road. "I can't…I just know how you think is all." Peeking back at me, she added, "You think you're not enough for me. You think I'll see all the hot tail in front of me and I'll dive into it without a moment's hesitation. You think I'll cheat…because I won't be able to help myself."
She frowned and I sighed. Shaking my head, I said, "And now you're thinking that I'll be so lonely and depressed, imagining you with every starlet wannabe out there, that I'll find comfort in another man's arms. You think I'll cheat…because I'll assume that you already are."
I frowned and she sighed, staring back to the road. "Well, aren't we a pair," she muttered.
Laying my head on her shoulder, I whispered, "I won't, Lisa. Even if I do think that about you, and I'm not saying that I will think that, but…either way, I won't…I'm yours."
Sighing, she laid her head over mine. "And I won't…because I've only ever been yours."
I bit my lip and closed my eyes, desperately wanting to believe her. Moments later, it seemed, we were there. Lisa pulled into a parking stall next to Evan and shut the car off. We sat for a moment in silence while Evan opened his door beside us. He rapped on our window, a wide smile on his face. Somi opened her side and joined him, waving in our direction. As the pair met up with Lucas, Jackson, Rachel and Jisoo, Lisa and I still sat in her car, enjoying the last moment of quiet before she had to go.
A few rows behind us in the lot, there was a flurry of activity. Several guys, who I assumed were members of some of the other bands, were bustling around three, long motor home-like busses. Men in uniforms talked with a few; the bus drivers. There were a lot of guys around, girls fawning over them as they said their goodbyes. With only a few busses for so many people, I figured Lisa was right when she said they'd be pretty packed. She may not know the other band members now, but she certainly would by the end of the tour. At least, with that many people already on board, there wouldn't be a lot of room for girls. Although…I suppose nothing would stop them from caravanning after the busses, stopping at the various ports along the way. That was a disheartening thought, and I immediately pushed it to the back of my head.
As I looked back at the mass of people at the very edge of the supermall parking lot, Lisa twisted the keys out of the ignition and handed them to me. I blinked as I took them. "Take care of her for me, okay?" Her deep eyes seemed reluctant to let the keys go as my fingers curled over them.
My eyes widened. "You're giving me your car?"
Slightly frowning, she shook her head. "I'm just letting you borrow her." She lifted an eyebrow. "I'll want her back." I smiled a little at the thought of cruising around in her muscle car and she frowned. "Make sure you get the oil changed and fill her up with premium…and don't drive on the hills if it snows and no joy riding…" Pondering for a moment, she quickly added, "And don't let Jisoo drive her." Rolling her eyes, she muttered, "I've seen what she did to Taehyung's car."
I smiled, my fingers tightening on the keys. No, I wouldn't let Jisoo turn another one of my partner's cars into her personal, portable closet. "I won't," I whispered. "I'll keep your baby in mint condition, Lisa."
She smiled that I'd personified her car, then sighed. "It just seems a shame for her to sit in a driveway while you argue with Jisoo over who gets that P.O.S. Honda." Running her fingers through my hair, she shook her head. "I want you to be able to get to…wherever you need to go while I'm gone."
Swallowing, I nodded. Somehow, Lisa handing over the rights to her baby seemed more final than staring across the lot at her future home for the next six months. My eyes stinging, I shoved the keys in my pocket. Lisa's eyes followed them for a second before she finally cracked open her door. Reluctantly, I followed suit.
There was an excited buzz in the air as heavy equipment was secured into a couple of trucks that would follow the busses. Twenty-something boys everywhere were tucking bags and instruments under the bus, jabbing and mocking each other, or kissing the few women in the crowd.
Lucas and Evan walked up to a couple of guys that I recognized. They were in a bigger band with a couple of hits on the radio. I loved their stuff, and sang along in the car whenever one of their songs came on. Usually pretty loudly. Lisa had said they were headlining the tour, but seeing them, and seeing people that I knew talking to them, was totally surreal.
Grabbing her guitar case from the back seat, Lisa slung it over her shoulder. Once she'd retrieved her bag from the trunk, she grabbed my hand and started pulling me towards the celebrities in our midst. I froze up, not wanting to go anywhere near them.
She looked back at me, her brow furrowed. I shook my head and whispered, "Don't you know who they are?"
Lisa smiled and nodded. "Yeah, they're sort of the reason we're on this tour. I was going to go say hello and thank them." Seeing my horror at the idea of talking to them, she tilted her head. "I've heard you sing their stuff. Don't you want to meet them?"
I shook my head even harder. No, I tended to look like an idiot meeting people. Meeting people I actually admired would be…unimaginably mortifying. Laughing at my reluctance, Lisa pulled my arm a little harder. "They're just people, Jennie. They started out as nobodies," she laughed a little harder, "just like me." Raising an eyebrow in a devilish way, she yanked my body into her side. "And you don't seem to have a problem talking to me."
I giggled despite myself and reluctantly let her lead me their way. I was embarrassingly shaky when we stepped up to the pair of bona fide rock stars. Before Lisa addressed them, she whispered in my ear, "You're trembling just like some of my fans do…I'm a little jealous. I'll try not to be offended that I don't make you…quiver."
I busted out laughing, right as the men turned to look at us. My cheeks flamed red-hot as they both bunched their brows like I was a mental patient. God, I suck at introductions.
Lightly laughing herself, Lisa dropped her bag and stuck her hand out; I clung to her other one like a lifeline. "Lisa Manoban, D-Bag, I wanted to thank you for inviting us to this."
The blonder of the two guys, Justin, the phenomenal lead singer of the band, clasped Lisa's hand and shook it. "Yeah, man, we're honored to have you. You guys rocked the festival."
Lisa beamed. "Thanks." Looking over at where I was slightly hiding behind her shoulder, blatantly staring at the tattoo across Justin's collar bones, Lisa bumped my shoulder. "This is my girlfriend, Jennie." I glanced up at Lisa, wishing I could tell her to shut up. She chuckled as she added, "She's a huge fan of yours…more so than she is of me, I think."
Justin looked straight at me and I wanted to crawl into a hole. He had pale eyes and they held the same amused look that Lisa got when she ran into shivering, shaking female fans. Throwing on a professional smile, Justin extended a hand out to me. I was positive mine was clammy as all get out, and I really didn't want to gross him out by taking his, but I didn't have a choice if I didn't want to offend him. So, reluctantly, I did.
Tilting his fabulous head of layered hair, Justin casually said, "It's always nice to meet a fan. What's your favorite song?"
As his skin touched mine, all coherent thought left my brain. I couldn't think of a title of any of their songs. Not a damn one. I stammered and stuttered, my cheeks heating to a nearly uncomfortable level until I finally spat out, "I like them all…"
Lisa quietly laughed at me while I realized that I'd been shaking the rock star's hand for an inordinately long amount of time. Dropping it, I cuddled into Lisa's side, again wishing I could disappear. Justin and his friend looked over at Lisa and Justin clapped her on the shoulder. "Well, we're just about ready to roll. We'll see you later."
Lisa nodded and the two walked off to enter the first bus in line. That had been just as embarrassing as I thought it would be…I wanted to die. After they were gone, Lisa peered down at me, an eyebrow raised. "You couldn't think of one song, could you?" I sighed and shrugged and Lisa rolled her eyes. "I'm not sure how I feel about another man making you so nervous." Slinging her arms around my waist, she smiled. "I want to be the one that makes you sweat."
Rubbing my hands on my pants, my eyes widened. "Oh my God, was I sweaty?"
Lisa squatted down to meet my eye, her lips pursed. Laughing at the expression on her face, I exhaled a calming breath and looped my arms around her neck. "I am your biggest fan, Lisa Manoban." Leaning in, I kissed her. "And don't you forget it."
Languidly kissing me back, she murmured, "Well, I do aim to please the fans." She slid her tongue into my mouth, but I smacked her shoulder on principle. She chuckled, pulling my body into her and I melted, letting her passion seep into me. My hands tangling into her wonderfully shaggy hair, I lost myself in the moment, in her body. Just as our kiss was intensifying, and I started hoping that she'd press me into the bus and claim me again, Lisa's shoulder was tapped on.
"Uh, man, it's time to go."
We broke apart and glanced over at Evan. Somi was attached to his side, slight tears in her eyes as she clung to him. Behind him, Lucas was quietly saying goodbye to Rachel, both of them lightly kissing in-between words that I couldn't hear. Jackson had Jisoo pressed against the bus.
Lisa nodded as Evan reached down and picked up Lisa's bag for her, giving us a few extra moments. Straightening, Evan gave me a swift goodbye hug and then he and Somi walked to the doors of bus number three. Not able to watch their painful goodbye, since my own painful goodbye was upon me, I jerked my head back to Lisa. She swallowed and brought her eyes back to mine. Cupping my cheeks, she looked over my face, memorizing me.
"This isn't goodbye, okay. There are no goodbyes…not between us." Whispering intensely, she lowered her forehead to rest it against mine. The scent of her overwhelmed me and I inhaled it, savoring it. Tears were already stinging my eyes when she continued. "This tour is just me being gone for another show…a really long one. But when it's over, I'm coming home to you, to slip into your warm, inviting bed, like I always do…"
I nodded, not having any words.
She swallowed again and closed her eyes. "I'll still be with you every night, Jennie. Every night, no matter where I am, I'm crawling into bed with you. Our bed will be a lot bigger, miles wide, but it will still just be me and you inside it…okay?"
I nodded again and she whispered, "This doesn't have to change anything…if we don't let it." Swallowing, she choked out, "So let's not let it, all right?"
Tears sliding down my cheeks, I sputtered, "All right…"
Pulling apart from me, her own eyes moist, she searched my face again. "Are you okay?"
Feeling the weight of her absence crushing down on me, I choked on a sob. Hating myself, but not able to stop the words from forming, I shook my head in her hands. "No, no I'm not okay. I changed my mind. I don't want you to go. I don't want this. I don't want you to leave. I want you to stay here with me. I want you to give it all up and stay here with me…please."
Tears were coursing down my cheeks as I started to sob. I hated that my feelings were coming out this way. I didn't really want her to give up her dreams…I just didn't want to see her go. I loved her too much.
Surprisingly, she exhaled in what looked like relief. Smiling softly, she brushed the tears off my cheeks. "Good, I'm glad to hear you say that. I really thought this wasn't affecting you." She kissed me twice, then pulled back and held my gaze. My sobs eased at the look in her eyes. "I love you too, Jennie…so much." Shaking her head, her eyes moistening again, she added, "I'm gonna miss you…every second."
I nodded and swallowed, trying to reign in my explosive feelings. I felt like I was going to break down into hysterics any second, and I didn't want our last moment to be that way. Even if it had been reaffirming for her to see my grief, I didn't want to drown her in tears. This was a good thing for her, an exciting thing. I wanted her to go off happy, knowing that I'd be here when she got back. And like Somi was always telling me, I had to have faith that she would come back.
Closing my eyes, I tried to imagine the reverse of this moment, six months from now, when she was coming home. We'd embrace. We'd shower the other with affection. Then I'd drop my reluctance to move in with her and we'd go home together. Then we'd make love for hours. Just the two of us, twisted in her sheets, moaning in passion. It ignited me a little already, just thinking of it. We just had to get through this winter and then we'd be reunited in the spring…like last year.
Thinking of winter sprang my eyes open. "You'll be gone," I whispered.
She bunched her forehead, not following my vague statement. Shaking my head, I clarified. "This will be our first Christmas…together…and you'll be gone."
The sadness threatened to drive me over the edge again, but she smiled. "I won't be working over the holidays. I do get some time off."
I sighed. "But who knows where you'll be. You couldn't possibly fly across the country just to spend a couple of days with me."
Frowning, she shrugged. "Why not? People do it all the time."
I shrugged, feeling like it was too much of a hassle to ask her to jump on a plane, not once, but twice, during the busiest traveling time of the year. Tilting her head at me, she twisted her lip. "Where will you be for Christmas?"
Shaking my head, I shrugged again. "With my family in Ohio, I guess. I'll probably spend my winter break there."
She nodded, her smile widening. "Then I'll meet you there…in Ohio."
I raised an eyebrow at her, shaking my head. "Lisa…"
She interrupted me with a swift kiss. "No, I've always wanted to meet your parents, see your home town." Pulling back, her face excited, she smiled wide. "When I get the time off, I'll come to you." She shook her head, her eyes glowing. "We'll do Christmas with your family. It'll be great, Jennie."
Sighing, imagining her sitting on my parents' couch, sipping eggnog, I nodded and bit my lip. "Alright…it's a date."
Both of us feeling better, we kissed again for a few long seconds. Band members brushed past us as we nonverbally said goodbye, but we ignored them. I even managed to ignore Jackson grabbing my butt and murmuring in my ear, "Yes, Lisa…God, yes." Then we were alone and the bus driver was snapping at Lisa to get on or he'd leave her here.
Sighing, we broke apart…for the last time. I didn't want to think of it that way, but there it was, the last kiss we'd have for what I knew was going to feel like an eternity. Swallowing as she nodded at me, she took a step back. Our hands trailed across the other's arms and it took every amount of will power I had to not grab her fingertips as our hands broke apart.
I didn't want to, but a sob came out of me when her skin left mine. Even though we'd made plans to see each other again, it almost felt like things were irrevocably shifting. We'd never be Jennie and Lisa again…not like we were anyway. I hoped that the new Jennie and Lisa would be better, stronger, more trusting of each other…but I didn't know for sure what or where we'd end up. And the unknown is a terrifying thing.
Lisa adjusted her guitar strapped on her back, then stepped onto her bus and out of my sight. Somi, Rachel and Jisoo came up to clump around me. Windows opened along the sides of the bus, and strange guys leaned out of them to wave to strange girls. Then our D-Bags appeared near the back. Lisa leaned on her elbows over the glass, lifting her hand in a small wave. Tears in my eyes, I waved back.
With all of us girls sniffling, we watched, disheartened, as the bus rumbled to life. Stringing my arms over Jisoo and Somi, Rachel leaning on Somi, we all softly cried while our guys departed for their war with fame. Even through my sorrow, I wished them luck.
As the bus pulled away, the various boys popped back inside it, windows closing after them. All but Lisa. She stayed propped out her window, watching me fade into oblivion as she sped away from me faster and faster. It was so metaphoric, a physical example of everything I feared our relationship would become, that I couldn't keep watching. When she was far enough away that she wouldn't be able to notice, I closed my eyes. Sadly, that felt metaphoric too.
When I reopened them, the busses were gone, vanished from sight, off to destinations unknown. The random girls wandering around the parking lot talked with each other in clumps before heading off to their separate vehicles. Most of them looked fine, like their boyfriends disappearing down the path to fame and fortune was no big deal. Shaking my head at the more chipper girls in the crowd, I wanted to run over and tell them, "What are you so thrilled about? Don't you know the odds are that you'll be replaced as soon as they are household names?" But I was trying to keep my head in a positive place, so I didn't.
Sniffing back the tears, I suddenly wanted to be at home, wetting my way through a box of Kleenex. My friends had other plans, though. Somi stepped in front of me, cupping my cheeks. She hazed in my watery vision as I stared at her. Shaking her golden waves, she said, "Lisa gave me instructions that I wasn't allowed to let you mope after she left…so stop picturing all of the bad things you're picturing and smile, so I can tell her that I did my job."
She grinned after she said it and I blinked. "She…gave you instructions on how to handle me?"
Somi shrugged, dropping her palms from my face to grab my hands. Jisoo laughed and put her chin on my shoulder. "Yeah, she talked to me, too…said I should take you out a lot, make sure you had fun and didn't wallow too much." I looked back at my sister and she giggled, rolling her eyes. "It's like she knows you or something."
Quiet Rachel put her hand on my arm and I looked over at the mixed beauty. "She cares a lot about you, Jennie. She wants you to be happy while she's gone."
Blinking at her, I shook my head. "She talked to all of you?" They all shrugged and smiled and I shook my head. "I can't believe my girlfriend assigned my friends to be my keepers…like I'd be popping Prozac and walking along bridge rails once she left." Smiling, I laughed a little. "That jackass."
They all laughed with me and I took a moment to look over each woman's face. Even smiling, I could see a sadness in each of them and I swallowed, remembering that I wasn't the only one suffering here. Putting my arm around Rachel, I asked, "I know I'm not the only one going through this…how are you guys?"
Rachel shrugged, her deeply tanned skin flushing. "All right, I guess. Lucas says he loves me and he's not interested in anybody else. It's all about the music with him…so, I think we'll be fine."
I hugged her briefly, agreeing with her. Lucas wasn't the type to go after a girl when he had one waiting at home. Even before he'd started dating Rachel…that just wasn't him. Somi in front of me sighed morosely. "I miss him already, but I know Evan will come back for me." She shook her head. "We've been friends for so long…I just can't see him doing anything… " she bit her lip and glanced at Jisoo, "…stupid."
Jisoo snorted and we all turned to look at her. "Well, Jackson and I aren't the lovey-dovey couple that the three of you are, so I'm completely fine." Smiling, she shrugged. "He gives me what I need when he's around, and when he's not…" her smile widened, "there are plenty of others who can."
She winked at us and I laughed and shook my head. At least Jisoo wasn't head-over-heels for Jackson and wouldn't get hurt over his…antics. I was fairly certain that he wouldn't even try to be faithful and committed to her while he was gone. Hell, he wasn't even faithful and committed to her while he was here! But she wasn't faithful to him either and they both seemed fine with the situation.
Somi smirked and shook her head while Rachel frowned. Being Lucas's girlfriend, she probably saw the most of Jackson, since the twin-like cousins were sort of inseparable, and if she was anything like me, she probably found him repugnant. Jisoo sighed and laid her head on my shoulder. "I will miss the multiple orgasms, though." She sighed, forlornly. "No one can stroke me like that boy."
Somi giggled while Rachel's flush deepened. I reached over and smacked my sister's shoulder, pushing her away from me. "Ewww, Jisoo, too much information…seriously."
She laughed while I shook my head in disgust. I may have to go home and take a shower now. I felt a little dirty just hearing her comment, let alone the visual I now had. Jisoo throatily chuckled, her finger looping around a perfect, silky lock of hair as she raised her eyebrows suggestively. I was still shaking my head at her when my pocket vibrated.
A bit startled, I reached into my jacket and pulled out my phone. The most glorious words imaginable were flashing across the screen—Incoming call from Lisa Manoban. Giggling at the marvels of technology, I pressed the connect button and put the phone to my ear. "Hello?"
A husky voice greeted me, along with a lot of background noise; boisterous boys laughing and talking. "Hey, is it too early to miss you?"
Laughing a little as Somi and the girls watched me, I shook my head. "No, it's never too early for that. I miss you too, Lisa."
Jisoo rolled her eyes while Somi and Rachel grinned. Lisa laughed in my ear, the sound instantly taking me to my happy place. "Good…is it too early for phone sex?"
Straightening, I felt my cheeks heat. "Lisa!" she laughed even harder in my ear and Jisoo stopped smirking, raising an eyebrow instead. I could only shake my head at her, my mind too busy wondering what phone sex was exactly, since I'd never done it. I couldn't imagine anything more horrifying, although…the thought of Lisa panting in my ear, touching herself, moaning my name, thinking of me…it did send a rush through me.
But there was no way I'd even consider it in the company I was in now.
I stammered for something to say and she chuckled, amused. "I'm just teasing, Jennie. I'm glad you're okay. I thought you might be a blubbering mess by now."
Relaxing a bit as Jisoo, Somi and Rachel moved on to their own conversation, giving Lisa and me some privacy, I twisted my lip. "Yeah, well, your recruits have done their job well." My voice came out a little dry and she laughed again.
"Good, then part one of my plan has been successful."
I blinked, tilting my head. "Part one? Wait…what plan?"
Vaguely, I heard the girls start to make plans of their own, mainly to head over to Pete's, to tear down the guys' equipment and move it over to Evan's place, since Somi had the keys to his loft. My main focus was on Lisa, though…and this mysterious plan that she had.
Chuckling a little, she murmured, "Just a little something to keep you occupied while I'm gone."
I smiled, wondering just what she had in mind. "Hmmm, I see." As Somi tapped my shoulder, mouthing that they were going to head over there, I nodded.
While I walked over to our cars, well, the cars the guys were letting us drive in their absence, Lisa sighed in my ear. "I'm liking this phone idea you had. This is nice, being able to talk to you whenever I want to."
I waved at Somi as she opened Evan's car door, ducking inside it with Rachel. Jisoo blew me a kiss as she opened Jackson's van door and ducked inside. Smiling at Lisa's comment, I cracked the Chevelle's door open and sat inside. It was strange to be in it without her. But with her voice in my ear and the residual smell of her in the car, it was almost like she was here, sitting beside me. I smiled as I answered her. "Yeah, see, I knew you'd like it better than handcuffs."
"Oh, hey now…I didn't say that." She chuckled as I bit my lip. Pulling the keys out of my pocket, I twisted the ignition, the solid engine roaring to life.
Lisa sighed. "Did you just start my baby?"
I laughed, waiting while Somi and Jisoo pulled their vehicles out of their respective stalls. "Well, I do have to drive her home, so…yeah."
"Well, you shouldn't drive and talk on the phone, so I'll let you go."
I frowned, wishing for a moment that we could spend the entire time apart connected on the phone. I knew that was horribly impractical, though. "Okay…I love you."
She sighed, the sound a happy and content one. "I love you, too. I'll call you later tonight."
I nodded, then remembered she couldn't see me. "Okay…bye."
"Bye." she disconnected and the rambunctious laughter in the background faded. I sighed, then smiled. At least I'd get to hear from her a lot while she was gone. And maybe, if I someday felt brave enough, we'd try that phone sex thing. I was insanely curious to hear what she'd sound like, making love from a distance…and I could always fake my end of it anyway.
Sighing as I popped the phone back in my jacket, my pocket feeling warmer just having the connection to Lisa inside it, I smiled and wrapped my fingers around the wheel. The power of the car reminded me of the power in the person who owned it. Sleek and sexy, strong and hard, it fit Lisa perfectly, and I knew I'd think of her whenever I went anywhere inside it.
In a much better mood than I'd ever thought possible, I headed over to Pete's Bar, to remove all traces of my girlfriend from it. That thought managed to bring down my good mood a smidge.
Parking in Lisa's traditional spot, I shut off her car. I pictured her sexy half-smile as I sat there a second. Then my window was rapped on and I jerked back to the moment. Jisoo smiled at me, waving her hand in a signal for me to get out of the car. Inhaling the lingering scent of her, knowing that I needed to get a handle on my rotating emotions, I pushed open her heavy door.
Jisoo slung her arm over my shoulder as Somi and Rachel got out of Evan's car, laughing over some story they'd been telling on the ride over. Smiling at my friends and family, I perked back up. Almost our own quartet, the D-Bag-ettes, we strolled through the double doors. Nearly expecting the reaction Lisa and the guys got when they busted through the doors, I was a little disappointed when not one person in the lunch crowd looked our way.
Troy, back to his normal daytime hours at the bar, waved at us. His face was forlorn, like she missed Lisa too. I almost wanted to go over and hug him, talk to him about the person we both mutually crushed on, but considering that I had Lisa's heart and poor Troy never would…I thought that might be mean. Best to leave the man alone to his grief.
Somi waved at the elderly waitresses that had been here since the bar's conception, or so it seemed, as the group of us headed to the darkened stage. The black wall covered in guitars behind the equipment we were tearing down seemed a bit morose today, or maybe that was just my lingering mood. Stepping up onto the worn-with-use oak, I walked up to Lisa's mic, alone in the center. Running my hand up the shaft, I imagined Lisa's fingers doing the same.
Twisting to face the crowd largely ignoring us, I tried to picture what she felt standing up here. Looking out over the now empty dance floor, I tried to imagine it packed with people, as it normally was when the guys played. Just the thought made my stomach twist. I didn't get how she could do this. And now she'd be playing even bigger venues…it boggled my mind.
Gripping the mic at the top of the stand, the sound equipment set way too tall for me, I mentally photographed my rock star girlfriend.
"You wanna sing something, before we tear it down?" I looked over at Somi. She was watching me as she twisted some of Evan's drum sticks in her hands. Smiling as she walked over to sit behind Evan's drums, she pointed to Lisa's microphone. "We could play one of theirs." She laughed a little. "We could be their cover band."
I paled at the idea, but Jisoo thought it was a great plan, and immediately strung Jackson's bass guitar over her shoulder. Chuckling softly, Rachel picked Lucas's guitar off its stand and looped it over her shoulder. Then they all looked expectantly at me, like I was actually the leader of this fake band.
I shook my head, but Somi started clicking off a beat with her sticks. Then they all started playing. I was so busy laughing, I couldn't be embarrassed. There was one thing that even a cover band needed to know how to do, to be successful—they needed to know how to play, and none of us did. As Somi made random hits on various drums, Jisoo plucked whatever chord struck her fancy on her unplugged instrument. Rachel strummed hers like she held a ukulele. I heartily laughed.
A few eating patrons glanced up at us, but since nothing was powered up, and Somi was smacking the set as softly as she could, we really weren't making that much noise. They all went back to their meals and conversations. Still curious about being a rock star, about what that would feel like, I closed my eyes and started singing one of Lisa's songs. Well, singing was a stretch. I was murmuring, my voice nearly lost in the chaos around me.
At hearing my band mates giggle, I opened my eyes. They were all smiling at me, rocking out harder on their borrowed instruments. Grinning, courage building in me the longer I was up here, I unfastened the mic from the stand and raised my voice…a little.
Mimicking the moves I'd seen Lisa do a thousand times, I started to pretend that I was her. My eyes swung over the empty patch where the crowds would have been, and I pictured them there, cheering for me. I even pictured Lisa among them, grinning crookedly and shaking her head at me. I focused my attention on the mental image I had of her, trying to be sexy for her, since she so often was for me.
My imagined version of Lisa smiled wider and bit her lip. I heard whistled encouragement from behind me and the picture of her in my head vanished. I giggled over at Jisoo, nodding at me as she faked her way through playing a D-Bag classic. My cheeks heating, I switched my view to Rachel, merrily strumming away like we were doing a skit at summer camp. Somi behind me started playing her version of a disorganized solo and I giggled mid-sentence at the musical mess we were making.
When the song was over, I made a small bow, the girls joining me. From across the bar I heard a small splattering of applause. Looking up, Troy was clapping, beaming at us. I laughed, embarrassment flooding me, but held back from completely absorbing me by a flash of pride. I'd done it. I'd sung on stage. Granted, I wasn't plugged in and no one but Troy had really been listening, but still, I felt like I could cross it off my bucket list now.
Lisa would be so proud. I couldn't wait to tell her.
