Wedding planning would never be Merry's choice of how to spend his time, and yet he found himself sitting with Rosamunda and Esme on a March afternoon, indoors, when he would much rather be outdoors, listening to the two ladies discuss the advantages of lace trimming on wedding gowns as they both twisted thin twigs into what would be Estella's wedding wreath. It would have been more bearable had Estella been there. And she had been, half an hour ago. Where had she got off too? She'd excused herself to use the privy but had not yet returned.

At last, Esme seemed to notice as well. "Where has Estella gone?" she demanded. "She is needed here."

Seeing an opportunity, Merry seized it, jumping up from his chair and heading out of the study that had become littered with lists of guests and plans for what food was to be served and what colors Estella's flowers ought to be. "I'll go and fetch her."

"Oh, do please, Master Merry," cried Rosamunda. "The bride is supposed to do the bulk of the work on her own wreath! Bad luck, you know, if she does not!"

Merry had been half truthful. He did want to find Estella, but if he didn't find her within a few moments of searching, he planned to simply go enjoy some time out of doors. He checked the privy, but she was not there, as he knew she would not be. He checked one of the smaller parlors, wondering if she had perhaps sought refuge there, but it was empty as well. The last place he decided to check was one of the common kitchens. Every smial in Brandy Hall had its own kitchen, but there were also several common kitchens in the Hall, staffed and always ready to prepare whatever one of the more important residents might request.

This particular kitchen was one Merry had frequented often as a young boy, and his favorite cook, Mrs. Boffin, had always had a small something set aside for him then. She still did now, though her hair had gone white, and her face was lined with age. Merry peeked inside, and saw Mrs. Boffin, but no Estella. He was about to move on, but she called to him,

"Master Merry! Come inside and have a seed cake with me, won't you?"

He obliged her, sauntering in as she plated a cake for him. He noticed a twinkle in her eye and looked at her quizzically. "Has Estella come through here?"

"She has, Master Merry. Miss Bolger is hiding away out in the kitchen gardens. She asked me to keep her hidden, but I doubt very much she'd object to seeing her intended!"

Merry looked towards the small door that led to the gardens. "Perhaps not. Can I convince you to keep me hidden as well?" he asked.

"Not if Mistress Esme comes looking, but I will do my best to keep everyone else out," said the old woman. It was good enough for Merry. He took the cake he had been offered, then went outside to find his lady.

She sat, just beside the door with her back to the wall of the kitchen, a plate in hand piled high with bread, apples, cheese, and a seed cake of her own, which she was already enjoying. Tilled soil ready to be planted filled the air with an earthy smell and the early March sunbeams shone on Estella, making her hair look a shade lighter than it truly was.

"My mother isn't thrilled you've run off. Neither is yours, actually."

Estella did not move from her spot on the ground but gave Merry a small smile. "As long as you're not upset with me, I can't say I much care what our mothers think. You'll not betray me to them, will you?"

"I've half a mind to," said Merry, offering his hand to pull her to her feet. "You left me to deal with talks of color coordination and a wedding wreath that's to go on your head, not mine."

Once she was on her feet, Estella offered Merry some of her vittles, which he gladly took. "I just can't find it in myself to care," she admitted. "Perhaps I should. So many girls dream of their wedding day. But I just… never did. And once I came of age and no one came calling I never thought I would have one to think of. I'd be content to let my mother make all the choices."

"And not even an apology for leaving me," he mocked.

She tilted her head back to look up at him and held up a slice of apple to his mouth, and he accepted it, enjoying the moment her fingers pressed to his lips. "You're so tall," she whispered.

"I suppose so," he said, "but you've never brought it up before."

"I think we probably look funny together." She now offered a piece of bread.

"Well," said Merry, taking a piece of cheese for himself as well. "We might. But that doesn't matter a bit to me. What other worries do you have before we are married? Best to get them all out now, I think. But let's go sit on the benches in the sun over there first."

Estella followed Merry to the bench but stood in front of him rather than joining him once he sat. She bit her bottom lip for a moment. "Do you really want to know what my worries are?" she wondered.

Merry had already anticipated what some of them might be, but he wanted to hear from her first. He knew she would not like it if she thought he had merely assumed what her desires were and acted without her input. "Of course I want to know, Stella," he assured her gently, taking his turn to offer her a piece of apple.

She accepted it but did not eat. "I'm actually quite afraid I won't like living here," she said, clearly concerned about what his reaction to this would be.

He just smiled at her, for he had been correct. "I thought you might not be ready for that. It is quite a big change. Pip and Diamond would be glad for an extra housemate at Crickhollow if that sounds more agreeable to you."

Now Estella did eat, but Merry could see she was still not at ease. "I think it would be better than living here. But… Merry, I like Pippin very much. I like Diamond well enough, but the idea of living with her…"

Merry had anticipated this too. While he had seen the effort Estella had put forth with Diamond, he knew it was no easy task for her to get along with the quiet wife of his cousin. He knew she was often biting her tongue to hold back a snarky comment or looking away from a show of affection between Pippin and Diamond that made her uncomfortable.

"Well then, why don't we plan to split our time between two homes? When you're feeling like you need a break from Pippin and Diamond, we will come stay here. When you need to get away from the business of Buck Hill, we will go to Crickhollow, two weeks at a time in each place. We can just keep enough belongings at each place, to avoid the hassle of moving everything every few weeks," he told her, wishing very much she would sit in his lap as she had in January when he had needed her comfort.

"I do not have enough dresses for that, Merry. I can't very well split them between two places."

He shook his head and laughed. "We can have new dresses made for you, Estella. Have you forgotten you are marrying for money?" he teased.

Now she laughed as well. "I suppose I did, for a moment. You don't think it will cause problems for you to split your time between two homes? How will you attend to all your work as Master if you're not here?"

"No, it won't cause a bit of trouble. Crickhollow is close enough that I can make the ride to Brandy Hall every day if I need to. But what would cause problems for me would be knowing my wife was unhappy where she lived."

"Merry…"

He drew her close to him now, pulling her in between his legs. Her eyes grew wide, but she did not object. "I have some worries I would like to share with you," he told her. "I still have nightmares at times," he explained. "And Pippin has told me that it can be frightening for people to see me when it happens. When I have them, I will want to talk to Pippin, or maybe Sam, not you. I won't have you pestering me about them. But I want you to know that I won't share them with you because I want you to be protected. You've heard many of my stories, but much of the darkness has been left out." She nodded. "Your turn."

She thought for a moment, glancing at him briefly as he wrapped one arm around her waist. "I want children."

"I know that Stella." Merry found Estella's arms now making their way around his neck.

"I want them soon," she clarified.

"We'll start trying right away." This satisfied her and she smiled. "My turn again, isn't it? Well. This isn't so much a worry, just something I'll begin doing once we are married, and I want you to know about it."

"And what's that?"

"I will tell you I love you. Once you are my wife, I will tell you whenever I'd like. You don't have to say it back."

"That seems reasonable. I don't suppose I can deny you that forever, can I?"

"No, you cannot." He hoped there was no note of bitterness in his voice. He did not think there was. "But now it's your turn again."

He watched her intently, seeing uncertainty and doubt swirl in her hazel eyes. After a long moment she covered her face with her hands and rubbed her eyes with her fingers as she blurted out, "I hate to even admit this, but I am worried about what you'll think of my scars." She peeked through her fingers at him now. It was so unlike her he was taken aback. Estella was rarely embarrassed, rarely insecure, and yet, now she stood before him hiding her face, ashamed of her own admission, her own feelings.

He pulled her close, wrapping his arms tightly around her.

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "I don't know why I said anything. I shouldn't have."

"I think you are beautiful, and whatever scars you may have will not change that."

"I don't know why it even matters to me." Merry had his suspicions but reasoned those would be better kept to himself for the time being. "There's just a lot of them, and some are likely worse than what you're thinking. Only Mam has ever seen them before, and I'm scared for someone else to."

Merry gently pulled her into his lap. One hand came around her back and the other rose to stroke her cheek. He lifted her chin, then softly moved his thumb over her lips before kissing her soundly. The taste of apples was still on her mouth, and he found it delightful. "I don't want you to be afraid," he said softly, before kissing her once again, wishing she was closer, closer, why couldn't he get her closer?

She seemed to feel as much urgency as he did, her breaths shallow and ragged, her mouth moving fervently over his. He felt her fingers tangle in his hair and couldn't help but let out a moan. She drew away from him a bit, smiling wickedly at him.

"Oh, you like that, do you?" she teased, giving his curls just the slightest tug before kissing him again. Merry did not need words to tell her that he did indeed enjoy it very much. He spread his hands across her back, pressing her to him. Still, he could not get her close enough. He wished desperately she was already his wife. Then he would be able to sweep her away to the smials and…

"Meriadoc," came Esme's scolding voice.

Estella scrambled up and away from Merry, face flushed and looking to the ground. Merry could not find it in himself to be too embarrassed. He knew now how Esme felt about Estella and was certain that between her fondness for Estella and the wedding just days away, this would not change her opinion. He was correct, it seemed. Esme's smile was soft and her eyes merry.

"You were supposed to fetch her and bring her back, not sneak off for a snog in the gardens, you scoundrel," she chided gently.

She crossed the small garden to Estella and took her face in her hands, forcing Estella to meet her eyes. "Don't be ashamed, my dear." She leaned close and whispered, "While I cannot condone such behavior, Saradoc and I were once caught in a far more compromising position when our wedding day was approaching."

Merry sniggered and ran a hand over his face, not wanting the image in his mind, but amused all the same. Estella truly had won his mother's favor if she was willing to share such stories.

"Estella, dear, come back with me. Truthfully, I did not enjoy planning my wedding either, but it must be done."

"I know," said Estella with a sigh. "I just don't care much about any of it, Esme. I just wish it was already over."

Esme smirked and laughed a little. "Clearly. It will be soon, my dear girl. Would it help if I took most of the decision making into my own hands?" she offered. Esme took Estella's hands in her own and Merry watched as his intended seemed to almost melt into his mother's touch. Esme had come to love Estella and it seemed her feelings of regard were returned.

"If you will do that for me, I'll name our first daughter after you."

Esme tucked Estella's arm in hers and began walking her back towards the study that had been abandoned by everyone but Rosamunda. "There is no need for such promises," Esme said. "I know for a fact Merry wants his first lass to be called Éowyn, anyway."

Merry watched them go and shrugged his shoulders when he realized his presence was no longer required or asked for. He would not object to being left out. Before either Esme or Estella could change their minds, he hopped over the garden gate and made off for a walk through the orchards.