JENNIE

The Thanksgiving holiday came and went, with Taehyung making a truly fabulous meal and Lisa ducking out with a, "Have a nice dinner," not even bothering to join us for it. We didn't see her again for the rest of the evening. Taehyung had made a small turkey for us, with some glaze he saw on a cooking show, cranberry stuffing, and mashed potatoes. I made the salad…which was all he would let me help with. I sat on the counter and kept him company throughout the day while he cooked though. He smiled a lot and kissed me a lot, and seemed genuinely happy. I tried to match his good spirits. I tried to not worry about where Lisa had taken off to…and who she might possibly be with.

While Taehyung cleaned up after dinner (really, how great of a boyfriend was he?), I called my family, wishing them lots of love…and avoiding any direct conversation with my sister, I still couldn't deal with that yet. I knew it was ridiculous, and eventually I would have to speak to her again, but not now, when things were so odd between Lisa and me. My parents wanted to know if I was coming up for Christmas. They had already bought our tickets (hint, hint) and had my room all ready for the both of us. That surprised me a lot. They had never let us both stay under their roof before, they must really miss me. With a heavy heart, I told them that Taehyung wanted me to go home with him, and I hadn't decided yet. And knowing Taehyung, he had probably already bought those tickets as well…just in case.

They were clearly upset at hearing that, and although the conversation drifted to other things, I knew what they would all be discussing over the next several days. It hurt my heart as I hung up the phone with them. I hadn't answered Taehyung either on what I wanted to do, and he had asked me again on several occasions. I still didn't know. I didn't know which path to choose, who to hurt…I hated these kinds of decisions. There was no winning, someone would be hurt, either my parents or Taehyung. And then Lisa…although her latest cruelty towards me was sure making the thought of leaving her easier, that still hurt my heart too.

My irritation towards her was escalating just as surely as our flirting had been escalating none too long ago. Just a few weeks ago, Lisa and I had been nearly inseparable, but now, she was "inseparable" with nearly half of Seattle…and Candy. She had taken me up on my stupid suggestion, and shortly after Thanksgiving she showed up at Pete's. Recognizing her, and throwing me a look that clearly said, 'I know you recognize her too', they were attached at the hip all evening. And by all evening…I mean allllll evening. I had to listen to her "appreciation" of Lisa's talent over and over through our agonizingly thin walls.

Her smug look, when I ran into her in the halls Monday morning, was what finally broke me, I think. That one look screamed at me, 'I just took what I know you secretly want – and I loved every damn second of it'.

I was done. That very evening, I finally snapped.

Pete, and I'm assuming either Jackson or Lisa had a hand in this, had decided to make Monday night ladies' night, with $2 shots 'til midnight. As a result, the bar was jam-packed full of college-age women, getting drunker by the minute. The band was there, of course, and having a wondrous time with their expanded, inebriated, harem.

Lisa was being…blatant. Some pixie haired harlot was nestled provocatively in her lap, sucking on her neck. She was immensely enjoying it, stroking her thigh. None of the other guys paid them any attention; they all had women of their own. The pixie pointed suggestively to the backroom. Lisa smiled and shook her head at her. Well, of course not. Why would she want the hussy now, when she could take her home and march her upstairs later, driving me crazy, all night long? The thought incensed me. Why did this bother me so much?

I was angrily scrubbing a clean table, when I noticed her walking by me. Too late, the words slipped out. "Wanna try keeping it in your pants, Manoban."

She had walked a few steps past me, before what I had just stupidly said registered in her mind. She turned around, her eyes suddenly intensely angry. "That's rich." She laughed once, rather haughtily, I thought.

"What," I said flatly.

She walked over to where I was standing at the empty table and leaned in close, pressing her body against mine. She grabbed my arm and pulled me tight against her. My heart sped at her touch. It had been a long time since she had actually touched me, and the unexpectedness caught my breath.

She leaned even closer, to whisper angrily in my ear. "Is the woman with the live-in boyfriend, that I've had sex with on not less than two occasions, really lecturing me on abstinence?"

My face heated in anger. I glared daggers at her and tried to pull away, but she held my arm firmly and the table behind me allowed no escape. Her sudden anger not quite finished, she put her lips directly on my ear. "If you actually marry him, will I still get to fuck you?"

The following incident became known as, 'The slap heard around the bar'.

Acting on its own, my hand came around and smacked her face shockingly hard, ten times harder than I had ever hit her. She staggered back slightly and inhaled a sharp breath. Red marks appeared on her skin instantly where my hand had connected with her. She looked completely stunned.

"You stupid, son of a bitch!" I yelled at her, momentarily forgetting that we were in a jam-packed bar full of witnesses.

Despite how badly my hand was stinging, it felt good to release my long pent-up frustrations. I brought my hand around for another hit, but she caught my wrist in her hand and twisted it painfully. Her eyes snapped to mine and were filled with an anger to match my own. I struggled in her painful, tight grasp, desperate to hit her again…wanting so much to hurt her.

"What the hell, Jennie? What the fucking hell!" she yelled back.

She grabbed my other hand so I couldn't hit her, so I made a move with my knee, hoping to drop her. She saw it coming though and shoved me to the side, away from her. My hand throbbed as blood finally rushed back into it. My pent up anger beyond reasoning, I immediately sprang back and leapt at her again. A strong set of arms around my waist held me back and, irritated and confused, I struggled against them.

"Calm down, Jennie." Evan's gentle voice broke through my fog of anger.

He was holding me from behind and pulling me away from Lisa. Sam had his hand on Lisa's chest. Lisa was seething in anger, glaring viciously at me. Lucas and Jackson had moved behind Lisa. Lucas looked concerned, Jackson looked wildly amused. Somi was in-between Lisa and me, both arms outstretched like somehow her tiny body could keep us apart if we were going to attack each other again. Aside from Jackson's chuckling, the entire bar was deathly quiet, watching us fight. Sam looked unsure what to do. Normally he would just kick the troublemakers out, but we both kind of worked here…and were friends.

Eventually, it was Somi who, looking around at the bar full of bystanders, grabbed Lisa's hand and then mine. Furrowing her brow and not directly looking at either of us, she muttered, "Come on," and drug us to the backroom. Lisa and I studiously ignored each other, and the mass of people, as we allowed Somi to pull us along. I noticed Evan nod his head at Lucas, who nodded back, and forcibly made a very disgruntled Jackson stay where he was, then Evan followed closely behind us.

Once in the hallway, Evan passed our unhappy trio and opened the door to the backroom to usher us all inside. Taking a final look up and down the hallway, he closed the door behind us and stood in front of it, keeping us in the room and also keeping any curious bar patrons out. He crossed his tattooed arms across his chest as he barred the door, with the still broken lock, and a pair of flames lined up perfectly on his forearms. My mood matched those flames.

"Okay," Somi said, releasing our hands. "What's up?"

"She-"

"She-"

Lisa and I both started speaking at the same time and Somi, still standing between us, held up her hands. "One at a time."

"We don't need a mediator, Somi," Lisa snapped, turning her glare to her.

Not intimidated by her fierce look, Somi calmly said, "No? Well, I think you do." She pointed back to the bar. "Half the people in there think you do." She eyed Lisa up and down warily. "I happen to know a thing or two about your fights. I'm not leaving you alone with her."

Lisa gaped at her, then looked over her shoulder to glare at me. "You told her…she knows?" I shrugged and cast a glance at Evan. He still looked confused, and concerned. "Everything?" Lisa asked, still stunned.

I shrugged again.

Lisa grunted and ran a hand through her hair. "Well…isn't that interesting. And here, I thought we weren't talking about it." She looked over at Evan. "Well, since the cats out of the bag, why don't we all get on the same page." She flung her hands out to me dramatically, while keeping her focus on Evan. "I fucked Jennie…even though you warned me not to. Then, for good measure, I did it again!"

Everyone said something at once. Somi scolded Lisa for her language, Evan cursed at her, and I yelled at her to shut up! Lisa glared at everyone and added, "Oh…and I called her a whore!"

"You're such a prick!" I said, looking away from her. Tears of rage stung my eyes and my face heated from embarrassment. Evan hadn't known any of that. He really didn't need to know either.

Lisa looked incredulous as I glanced back at her. "A prick? I'm a prick?" She took a step towards me angrily, and Somi put a hand on her chest. "You're the one that hit me!" She gestured to her face, where red streaks were still visible. "Again!"

Evan butted in, looking peeved at Lisa. "Jesus, man. What were you thinking…or were you?"

Lisa's angry eyes snapped to him. "She begged me, I'm only human."

I made an affronted noise, unable to speak coherently. Did the whole room need to know such intimate details? I was astonished at how she was making me sound…like she was some innocent and I had seduced her. Yeah, right!

Her eyes flashed back to me. "You begged me, Jennie! Both times, remember?" She gestured at me irritably, and Somi lightly pushed her back. "All I did was what you asked. That's all I've ever done – what you've asked!" She held her hands out to the side, looking exasperated.

That loosened my tongue, as anger and embarrassment shot through me. She rarely did anything I "asked". I had a long list in my head, but forefront in my mind was the word she had spoken, just moments ago. "I didn't ask to be called a whore!"

She stepped towards me and Somi put two hands on her chest. "And I didn't ask to be hit again! Quit fucking hitting me!" Somi muttered, "Watch your language," which Lisa ignored, while Evan told her to, "Calm down," which Lisa also ignored.

"You did ask for it, prick!" No woman would have let the things she had spat at me slide. She had practically engraved me an invitation. "Since we're sharing," I angrily emphasized the word, "why don't you tell them what you said to me!" I stepped towards her and Somi put one of her hands on my shoulder. The only thing keeping our anger apart was this pretty little blonde girl.

"If you'd given me two seconds, I was going to apologize for that. But you know what…now I don't!" She shrugged and shook her head. "I'm not sorry I said it." She angrily pointed at me. "You were out of line! You just don't like that I'm dating!"

My eyes blazed with fury. "Dating? Screwing everything that walks - isn't dating, Lisa! You don't even bother learning their names. That's not okay!" I shook my head angrily. "You are a dog!" I growled.

Evan butted in again before Lisa could respond. "She has a point, Lisa."

"What?" Lisa and I both gaped at him. "You got something else to say to me, Evan?" Lisa snapped at him, backing away from Somi, who lowered her hand from Lisa's chest.

Evan's normally jovial face looked angry at this point. "Maybe I do. Maybe she's right. And maybe, just maybe, you know it too." Lisa blanched, but said nothing. "Why don't you tell her why you're so…free…with yourself? She might understand."

Lisa got really pissed and took a step towards Evan. "What the fuck do you know about it!"

Evan suddenly looked sympathetic, and quietly replied, "More than you think I do, Lisa."

Lisa stopped moving, her face paled. "Back off, Evan…I'm not asking. Back the fuck off." Her voice was low and icy cold, she really wasn't joking.

"Lisa….language," Somi scolded her again.

At the same time, I snapped, "What are you talking about?" I was highly irritated at their confusing exchange.

Lisa ignored both of us and glared at Evan icily. Evan stared back, then resignedly sighed, "Whatever, man…your call."

Lisa sniffed. "Damn right it is." She pointed at all of us. "How I date, is none of your concern. If I want to screw this whole bar, you all-"

"You practically have!" I shouted, cutting her off.

"No! I screwed you!" she shouted back, and in the sudden quiet that followed the statement, I heard Evan curse again and Somi softly sigh. "And you feel bad about cheating on Taehyung." She leaned in over Somi's head, and she brought her hand back to Lisa's chest and pushed against her. "You feel guilty about having an affair, but you-"

I interrupted her. "We are not having an affair! We made a mistake, twice – that's it!"

She exhaled angrily. "Oh come on, Jennie! God, you are naïve. We may have only had sex twice, but we've most definitely been having an affair, the entire time!"

"That makes no sense!" I yelled back at her.

"Really? Then why did you so desperately want to hide it from Taehyung, huh? If it really was all so harmless and innocent, then why weren't we open about our…relationship…to anyone?" She raised her arm to the door, to indicate the outside world.

She was right. We only let others see a fraction of how close we really were with each other. I couldn't answer her. "I…I…"

"Why can't we even touch anymore?" My breath stopped. I didn't like her question or the huskiness of her voice. "What happens to you when I touch you, Jennie?" Her tone, almost a low growl, was getting as suggestive as her words, and Somi took a step away from her, dropping her hand from Lisa's chest again.

Lisa ran a hand down her shirt, as she answered her own question. "Your pulse races, your breath quickens," she bit her lip and started simulated heavy breathing, keeping her eyes locked on mine, "your body trembles, your lips part, your eyes burn." She closed her eyes and exhaled with a soft groan, then reopened her eyes and inhaled through her teeth suggestively. With a purposely strained voice, she continued antagonizing me, "Your body aches…everywhere."

She closed her eyes again and exactly mimicked a low moan that I had made with her on several occasions. She tangled a hand back through her own hair, in a way that I had done time and again, and ran her other hand back up her chest, in a way only too familiar to me. She had a decidedly intimate look on her face, and the overall effect was so shockingly erotic, and familiar, that I blushed deeply. She swallowed and made a horribly enticing noise as she let her mouth fall open in a pant. "Oh…god…please…" She mimicked in a low groan, as her hands started running down her body, towards her jeans…

"Enough!" I spat out. Thoroughly embarrassed, I glanced at Somi. She looked as pale as I was red. She glanced back at me and her hand on my shoulder became sympathetic, rather than restraining. From the door, I heard Evan mutter, "Jesus, Lisa."

Lisa's angry eyes flashed open and she snapped, "That's what I thought! Does that sound innocent to you?" She looked around the room. "To any of you?" She glared at me again. "You made your choice, remember? Taehyung. We ended…this." She indicated herself and me. "You had no feelings for me. You didn't want to be with me, but now, you don't want anyone else to be with me, right?" She shook her head angrily. "Is that what you want? For me to be completely alone?" Her voice broke on the end of that sentence in her anger.

My face, still red in embarrassment, heated in anger. "I never said that. I said if you were to see someone, I would understand…but god, Lisa, Evan's right, show some restraint!" Silence filled the room, with everyone glaring at everyone else until finally, I couldn't take it anymore. "Are you trying to hurt me? Do you have something to prove?"

She eyed me up and down. "To you…? No…nothing!"

She backed away from Somi a little and I pushed into her. She brought both her hands to my shoulders, to hold me back. "You're not trying to purposely hurt me?" I snarled at her.

"No." She ran her hand through her hair again, and angrily shook her head.

I actually saw red I was so infuriated with her. Of course she was trying to hurt me! Why else would she be whoring herself all over town? Why else would she have broken her promise? "Then what about my sister?"

She groaned and looked up at the ceiling. "God, not that again."

Evan took a step to help Somi, who was beginning to struggle with me, as I was really pissed off and pushing against her. Somi looked over at Evan and not saying anything, shook her head lightly and he stayed where he was by the door.

"Yes! That! Again! You promised!" I yelled, pointing at her.

"Obviously, I lied, Jennie!" she yelled back. "If you haven't noticed, I do that! And what does it matter anyway…she wanted me, you didn't. What do you care if I-"

"Because, you're mine!" I yelled back at her, quite unintentionally. Of course, she wasn't actually mine…

The immediate silence after that was deafening. Lisa's face paled and then slowly, got very, very angry. "No, no I'm not! THAT'S THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT!"

"Lisa!" Somi scolded her again, and Lisa finally glared at her.

My face heated in embarrassment at my unthinking declaration. "Is that why you did it? Is that why you slept with her, you son of a bitch! To prove a point?" My voice cracked in my anger.

Somi finally interrupted. "She didn't, Jennie," she stated calmly.

Lisa glared at her icily. "Somi!"

"What?" I asked her, and she dropped her hands from my shoulders.

Ignoring Lisa's icy glare, she again, very calmly said, "Lisa wasn't the one who slept with her."

Lisa took a menacing step towards Somi and Evan took a step towards Lisa. Glancing up at Evan, Lisa stopped. "This doesn't concern you, Somi, butt out!" she snapped.

Slightly irritated with her now, Somi icily met her gaze. "Now it does! Why are you lying to her, Lisa? Tell her the truth! For once, tell her the truth."

Lisa shut her mouth and clenched her jaw. Evan scowled at her and Somi frowned. Not able to stand it any longer, I shouted, "Will someone please tell me…something?"

Somi looked back at me. "Don't you ever listen to Jackson?" she asked softly.

Irritated, Lisa said, "No, she avoids conversations with him, if she can help it." Quieter, she added, "I counted on that."

I furrowed my brow, confused. "Wait…Jackson? My sister slept with Jackson?"

Somi nodded, rolling her eyes. "He hasn't shut up about it, Jennie. He keeps telling everyone – 'Best 'O' of my life!'" She made a disgusted face.

Lisa clenched her jaw again. "That's enough, Somi."

I stared at her, disbelieving, and then looked over at Evan. He shrugged and nodded then looked curiously at Lisa. So did Somi. And then, so did I.

"You lied to me?" I whispered.

She shrugged noncommittally. "You assumed. I simply…encouraged that thought."

Anger flashed through me. "You lied to me!" I yelled.

"I told you, I do that!" she snapped back.

"Why?" I demanded.

Lisa looked away from all of us, and didn't answer.

"Answer her, Lisa," Somi said calmly. Lisa looked back to her and Somi raised an eyebrow at her. Lisa frowned, but remained silent.

Memories flooded me. "The whole fight in the car…the rain…all of that started, because I was so angry about you and her. Why would you let me think-"

She glared over at me. "Why did you automatically assume-"

"She told me. Well, she made it sound like…" I closed my eyes. I hadn't wanted to hear it. I had never let her fully explain what had happened that night. All she had said about Lisa, was that she wanted me to thank Lisa for her. I had assumed she wanted me to thank her for…that. Maybe she had just meant for showing her a good time, for dancing with her all night, for taking her to Jackson's house, for giving her a ride home, or…god, it could have been anything really.

Reopening my eyes, I looked at her and softened my gaze, and my voice. "I'm sorry I assumed…but, why would you let me think that for so long?"

Her gaze and voice softened too. "I wanted to hurt you…"

"Why?" I whispered and took a step towards her. Somi seeing us both calmer, let me pass. Lisa looked away, and didn't answer. I walked over to her and put a hand on her cheek, she closed her eyes at my touch. "Why, Lisa?"

Without opening her eyes, she whispered, "Because you hurt me…so many times. I wanted to hurt you back."

My anger extinguished. Lisa, her anger sapped as well, slowly opened her eyes, pain clearly visible in her features. She stared back at me silently. Somewhere in the back of my head, I heard Somi walk over to Evan and tell him that they should give us a moment. Then I heard the door open and close, and Lisa and I were alone.

"I never wanted to hurt you, Lisa…either of you." The silence of the space reverberated back to me and I sank to my knees, right there in the middle of the room. The roller coaster of emotions was wearing me down - the guilt, the excitement, the pain, the thrill, and the anger. I could barely remember how perfect I had thought things were in the beginning, before I had ruined everything.

Lisa knelt down on the ground across from me and took my hands in hers. "It doesn't matter now, Jennie. Things are how they're supposed to be. You're with Taehyung and I'm… I'm…" She swallowed.

I just so missed how things used to be, how sweet our relationship used to be, before Lisa got cold, then hot, then…whatever it was she was being now. It slipped out before I could think about it, "I miss you," I whispered to her.

Her breath caught and I heard her swallow loudly. "Jennie…"

The tears started coming and I just wanted my friend back. Surprisingly, she pulled me into an embrace, like she used to so long ago. I clutched her tight, needing her nearness. She stroked my back while I started sobbing into her shoulder. I just wanted to stop feeling so much. My head was spinning with guilt and anger and heat and pain.

She mumbled something into my shoulder that almost sounded like, "I'm sorry, baby." My heart sped at the thought of those tender words coming from her.

She sat back on her heels, keeping me tight to her, so that I was sitting on her lap, my knees on either side of her. She started stroking my hair and I started relaxing into her. She held me that way for a long time. My tears slowly stopped, and I turned my head to look at her.

Surprisingly, her eyes were closed and her head was down. She looked sad. I tried to move off of her, but keeping her eyes closed, she pulled me tighter to her. "No, please…stay," she whispered.

Instantly, I was aware of how dangerous our position was. But for our breathing, how silent the room was, how tight she embraced me, how long it had been since we had really held each other. She opened her eyes slowly and turned to look at me, and I could see that she was aware of the danger too. Her lips parted, her breath quickened. I could see the wistful pain of wanting me in her eyes. Lisa was right…there was a reason we should never touch.

Thinking only of telling her that I couldn't do this anymore to Taehyung, I whispered, "I miss you, so much." That wasn't what I had been going to say at all. What was wrong with me?

She closed her eyes and lowered her forehead to rest on mine. I could clearly see how difficult I was making this for her, and I really didn't mean to…

"Jennie, I can't…" She swallowed again. "This is wrong, you're not mine."

I thrilled at the word mine coming from her lips, and hated myself for it. Mentally agreeing with her, I whispered, "I am yours." Wait, no that's not what I meant to say either…

She made an odd noise and drew a ragged breath. "Are you…?" She whispered so softly, I barely heard her. She looked up at me and the passion was burning in her eyes again. "I want you so much…"

I felt such sorrow for the loss of the easy friendship we once had, such guilt over what I constantly did to betray Taehyung, and such a painful need being in Lisa's arms…and the latter was winning. I had missed her so much, and now that she was with me, I suddenly didn't want her to leave me, ever again.

"I want you too," I whispered and for the first time, it was what I meant to say.

She rolled then, so that I was lying on the floor and she was pressing into me. Breathing softly, she paused, almost touching my lips. She held herself there and I could see the struggle in her eyes. She wasn't sure if I really wanted this.

Before I knew what I was saying, it all spilled out in a rush. "I've missed you so much. I've wanted to touch you for so long. I've wanted to hold you for so long. I've wanted you for so long. I do need you, Lisa…I always have."

She still held herself, hovering over my lips, her eyes frantically searching my face, looking for a lie in my words. "I won't… I won't be led on again, Jennie. I would rather end this, than be hurt by you again. I can't…"

I searched myself, for what my truth was…but all I could find in my body was an aching loneliness for her. I couldn't take another day of her being with another woman. I couldn't handle another second of her lips on anyone's, but mine. I wasn't even thinking about what that meant for Taehyung and me. I was only thinking that I needed Lisa to be mine…only mine.

I grabbed her face gently with my hands. "Don't leave me. You are mine…and I'm yours. I want you…and you can have me. Just stop being with all those-"

She pulled away from me. "No, I won't be with you, because you're jealous."

I brought her face close to mine again, and borrowed one of her moves that so long ago had driven me mad. I lightly slid my tongue under and along her upper lip. It had the same effect on her that it had on me. She closed her eyes and shuddered, inhaling quickly.

"Jennie…no. Don't do this to me again…"

I paused. "I'm not, Lisa. I'm sorry I pushed you away before, but I'm not saying no anymore."

I brought my tongue back to her intoxicatingly delicious skin. I only made it halfway along her lip, when she brought her mouth down to mine. She paused while kissing me and pulled back, her breath shallow and fast. She stared at me, suddenly looking very nervous.

"I'm in love with you," she whispered, searching my eyes. She looked very pale and very scared, and a little…hopeful.

"Lisa, I…" I didn't know what to say, my eyes were starting to tear up again.

She didn't let me even attempt to finish. She brought a hand up to stroke my cheek and kissed me again, but tenderly, sweetly, the kiss was full of emotion. "I'm so in love with you, Jennie. I've missed you so much. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I say awful things to you. I'm sorry I lied about your sister…I never touched her. I promised you I wouldn't. I couldn't let you know…how much I adore you…how much you hurt me." It was as if finally telling me what she really felt, released all the rest of her bottled up emotions, and she couldn't stop herself.

She spoke rapidly in-between her tender kisses. "I love you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. The women… I was so scared to touch you. You didn't want me…I couldn't take the pain. I tried to get over you. Every time with them, I was with you. I'm so sorry…I love you."

Tears flowed freely down my cheeks as I listened in shocked silence. Her heartfelt words, her tender lips, it made me even weaker, made my heart race.

Her lips never stopped moving over mine, her words never stopped flowing between them. "Forgive me…please. I tried to forget you. It didn't work…I just want you more. God, I've missed you. I'm sorry I hurt you. I've never wanted anyone, like I want you. Every girl is you to me. You're all I see…you're all I want. I want you so much. I want you forever. Forgive me… I love you so much."

I still couldn't process what she was saying, the look of fear and hope in her eyes. It made me want her even more though. It made my breath heavy and ragged. Her kiss picked up intensity in response. "God, I love you. I need you. Forgive me…stay with me. Say you need me too…say you want me too. Please…be mine."

She instantly stopped kissing me and froze, staring at me terrified again, like she finally just realized exactly what she had been saying. "Jennie…?" Her voice was shaky. Her eyes glistened while she searched mine.

I realized that I hadn't said anything in a really long time. She had been pouring her heart out to me, and I hadn't said a word. Of course, she really hadn't left me an opportunity to speak, but from the terror in her eyes, I don't think she realized that. All she could see looking at me, were my tears and my silence.

Emotion locked up my throat and I closed my eyes, giving myself a minute to absorb everything. She loved me? She adored me? She loved me? She wanted me…forever? She loved me? She wanted me to be with her? She loved me? Feelings for her that I had struggled so hard to push back, flooded through me. Everything we had gone through - every tear, every joy, every jealousy - had she loved me the whole time?

I felt her pull away from me, and I realized I was still lying silent with my eyes closed. I opened them and looked up to her sad, terrified face. I grabbed her arm and stopped her from moving away from me. She met my gaze, the tear in her eye finally rolling down her cheek. I brushed it away with my thumb and cupped her cheek. I pulled her closer and kissed her tenderly.

"Jennie…" she muttered between my lips, pulling away slightly.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "You were always right…we're not friends. We're so much more. I want to be with you, Lisa. I want to be yours. I am yours." It was all I felt in that moment, all I could think to say. In that instant, she was my entire world. Nothing else even existed to me besides her, and I didn't want to resist her anymore. I was tired of fighting this. I wanted to be hers…in every way.

She rolled back on top of me and brought her mouth back to mine. She exhaled softly and she kissed me deeply, like we hadn't kissed in years. The passion I felt coming from her was almost overwhelming, her whole body trembled with it. She shifted her weight and pushed against me, making a noise deep in her throat that thrilled me.

I ran my hands down her back and she shuddered. I felt the edge of her shirt and grabbing it, ran my fingers up her bare skin, taking the shirt with me. Gently I pulled it off of her, gazing at her amazing perfection for a second, before her lips came back down to mine.

She shifted her weight again and brought her hands slowly down my neck, across my chest and up under my shirt. Her hands were shaking as she pushed my shirt up and pulled it off me. Her body was still shaking lightly as she kissed me. She was holding back, I realized. Forcing herself to go slowly, forcing herself to remain in control, in case I changed my mind. The thought of how much she wanted me, and how unsure she was of me, filled my body with fire.

I ran my hands back down her bare back, feeling every muscle, every defined line. She groaned lightly as I brought my hands around to her chest and ran my fingers along the faint scar on her ribs, the scar she had gotten because of me…because she loved me. Her lips never leaving mine, her hands brushed over my shoulders, down my arms, over my bra, down to my waist. I sighed happily at how good it felt to feel her touch again; it had been so achingly long. She shifted again and her shaking hands lowered to my jeans. Her fingers played with the waistband on them, almost considering if she should…

I pulled away from her lips and whispered in her ear, "I'm yours…don't stop." I shifted my weight under her suggestively. Exhaling and relaxing, Lisa listened to me, she didn't stop. She started unbuttoning my jeans and biting my lip, I moved to unbutton hers. She pulled back to watch me intently. She stopped shaking. She seemed to finally believe that I wasn't going to stop this. I finished undoing her jeans, as she was starting to pull mine down. Gazing at me with such love in her face, she softly said my name, and that she loved me again, and started kissing my neck.

Her face, her words, hit me with such intensity, that I stopped breathing. Suddenly this felt wrong, dirty. It didn't match her tender words, and I couldn't go through with it. "Lisa, wait…just a min-" I said tentatively.

"Jennie…" She stopped tugging at my jeans and groaned heavily. She sagged her entire body against mine, her head resting on my shoulder. "Oh…my…god. Are you serious?" She rocked her head back and forth on my shoulder. "Please don't do this again. I can't take it."

"No, I'm not…but-"

"But?" She pulled back to look at me breathlessly, her brown eyes blazing with desire and now, irritation. "You do realize, that if you keep doing this to my body, I will never be able to have children?" she snipped.

I laughed at her unintentionally amusing remark. She pulled back more and frowned at me. "I'm glad you find that funny…"

Still chuckling, I ran a finger down her cheek, eventually making her smile. "If we are going to do this…if I'm going to be with you," I looked around at the dirty floor we were lying on, "it's not going to be on the floor in the backroom of Pete's."

She frowned, then immediately reversed it and kissed me softly. "Now you object to being with me on a dirty floor?" she whispered.

I laughed again at her reference to our tryst in the coffee stand, and at hearing her humor return. It had been a long time since I had heard that too.

She kissed me again then pulling back, forced a frown on her face. "Did you…did you just get me to pour my heart out to you…so you could get me naked again?" She raised an eyebrow at me charmingly.

I laughed again and gently grabbed her face in my hands. "God, I missed you. I missed that."

"Missed what?" she asked quietly, gazing back at me and softly stroking my bare stomach.

"You…your humor, your smile, your touch, your…everything." I gazed back at her warmly.

Her face got serious. "I missed you so much, Jennie."

I nodded, swallowing the emotion in my throat, and she kissed me softly again. Suddenly, she pulled back and eyeing me half naked beneath her, bit her lip and raised an eyebrow. "You know…there are other options for this room besides the floor."

"Really?" I asked, enjoying her playfulness.

"Yeah…" She looked around the room, smiling. "Table…chair…shelf…" she looked down at me, her grin suddenly devilish, "wall?"

I laughed and stroked my hand down her chest, marveling at how quickly my emotions around Lisa could change. Hadn't we just been at each other's throats, and now we were intimately joking around. "Just kiss me." I shook my head at her.

"Yes, ma'am." She smiled and started kissing me deeply. "Tease," she muttered, moving her lips to my neck.

"Whore," I muttered back, grinning and kissing the cheek I had ruthlessly slapped earlier. She laughed huskily in response and moved her lips to the base of my throat.

A persistent soft knock drifted through the room, but Lisa and I both ignored it.

"Hmmm…" I closed my eyes as she lightly ran her tongue up my throat. God, I loved that.

She was bringing her tongue up and over my chin when the annoying knocking that we had both been ignoring, suddenly became a door swinging open. I gasped and tilted my head up, my heart racing. Lisa raised her head to look at the door.

"Jesus, Evan…you scared the shit out of me!" Lisa said, laughing.

I didn't feel like laughing, this was not how I wanted someone to walk in on me. To his credit, Evan was covering his eyes. He immediately closed the door behind him and looked away. "Uh, sorry, man. I know you two are…uh, I need to talk to you, Lisa."

Evan seemed really embarrassed, but he couldn't be any more embarrassed than me. Lisa laid over me, protectively shielding me from his view, not that he was looking in our direction. "Your timing kind of stinks, man." She frowned at him.

Unintentionally, Evan flicked a glance at us and immediately looked away again. I clutched Lisa tighter, wanting to be anywhere but here. "Sorry…but you're going to thank my timing in about ten seconds."

Lisa smiled widely. "Really, Evan, can't this wait, like ten-" I nudged her ribs and she looked down at me, then back up at her, "twenty minutes?" I unintentionally giggled.

"Taehyung's here," Evan stated.

I stopped giggling. "What?" I asked quietly.

Lisa sat up, straddling me. "Shit," she said quietly. She handed me my shirt and I quickly slipped it on. She stayed on my lap, thinking.

Evan finally looked over at us without looking away. "Unless you want tonight to get…even more interesting, Jennie needs to leave, and you need to stay and talk to me."

Lisa started nodding and finding her shirt, slipped it back on. "Thank you…." she said, looking back up at Evan.

Evan half-smiled. "See…I knew you'd thank me."

I felt ice cold as Lisa finally got off my lap and helped me get up. We adjusted our clothes and I started having trouble breathing. Lisa put a hand on my shoulder. "It's fine…it will be fine."

Panic flared through me. "But the whole bar…they all saw that, they'll be talking. He'll know something."

Lisa shook her head. "He'll know we had a fight…that's it." She looked over at Evan, who looked impatient for me to leave. "You should go, before he comes back here looking for you."

"Okay…"

"Jennie…" She grabbed my arm as I turned to leave, then she pulled me in for one long, last kiss.

I was breathless when I went out into the hallway.