JENNIE
You are told from the moment you enter school that time is constant. It never changes. It is one of those set things in life that you can always rely on…much like death and taxes. There will always be sixty seconds in a minute. There will always be sixty minutes in an hour. And there will always be twenty-four hours in a day. Time was not fluctuating. It moved on at the same, constant pace at every moment in your life.
And that was the biggest load of crap that I'd ever been taught in school.
Truth was, time did fluctuate. It was easy to lose hours or even days in a blink of an eye. Other times, it was a struggle to get through a mere hour. It ebbed and flowed as relentlessly as the tides, and just as powerfully too. The moments that you wanted to last forever were the ones that were washed away all too soon. The moments that you wanted to speed up, were slowed down to a snail's pace.
That was the truth of the matter. And my life…was flash-forwarding, and there was nothing I could do about it.
It seemed only yesterday that Lisa had reluctantly agreed to go off and tour the continent, but, all of a sudden, her departure was only a few days away. It was Monday morning…she was leaving first thing Saturday. And as much as the last few weeks had rushed by, I knew that the universe would cruelly make the next six months drag on and on. I knew that I would feel every second of our separation and it was going to suck…but I had to let it happen. I would not selfishly guilt another person to give it all up for me. I would never do that to someone again….no matter how much it hurt.
Hearing the door to my apartment being knocked on, I snapped myself out of my thoughts and slapped on a smile. Lisa was having a hard time with the upcoming separation too. I didn't want to make it harder for her by seeming down all the time. Over the last few weeks I'd perfected the art of feigned excitement. Not that I wasn't excited for her, and endlessly proud of her, I just didn't want her to go. If she could somehow have it all, but stay close to my side, well, then my forced smile would be a natural one.
Walking past a folding card table, a wobbly contraption that my sister and I were calling a fancy dining table, even going so far as to classy it up with a thrift store tablecloth, I smiled at the present sitting on top of it. When I opened the front door, Lisa was leaning against the frame. she smiled crookedly at me. I bit my lip as I absorbed her features, then stepped back so she could enter.
Stepping through, she murmured, "Mornin'."
Attaching her lips to my neck, she swung me around and pulled my hips into hers. Lightly closing the door behind her, I giggled quietly; my sister was still asleep. "Good morning, yourself."
Sighing, she slinked her arms around my waist. "I'm going to miss taking you to school every day," she sighed. Shaking her head, she added, "You'll nearly be graduating by the time I'm back."
Stepping up my smile, even though my heart was breaking, I tilted my head at her and stroked her cheek. "At least you'll be back in time for the ceremony. You can watch me walk down the aisle."
Smiling softly, she cinched me a little tighter. "I'd love to watch you walk down the aisle."
My heart starting to race a little, I suddenly wondered just what aisle she was referring to. I opened my mouth, not sure what to say, but Lisa looked over her shoulder and noticed the bright red gift bag. her expression genuinely gleeful, she looked back to me. "What's that?"
Releasing her, I giggled again. "It's for you. Sort of a going away present."
Frowning, she shook her head at me. "I know money is tight for you. You didn't have to get me anything."
Pressing myself against her back, I shoved her shoulders towards the table. "I got a good deal, it didn't cost me much and it's sort of a present for both of us."
Slowly walking towards the gift, she turned her head back to me and grinned devilishly. "Is it handcuffs? Did you get the furry kind? Because those feel really nice against your—"
I smacked her back and turned her head away from me, so that she couldn't see the blush spreading over my cheeks. "No!" I felt her chuckling as she picked up her gift, but my head was busy imagining her locked to my bed…naked. I guess that would be one way to keep her near me. Rolling my eyes, I contained a sigh. And of course she'd had enough experience with handcuffs that she had a style preference.
Still laughing a little, she pulled the tissues out of the bag. When she got to the actual present, she pulled it out and looked back at me, confused. "What's this?"
Now I laughed as I moved around to stand beside her. "Well, I know you're a little behind on the times, but they call that a cell phone. It works just like your corded one…but you can walk around with it." Leaning in, I whispered, "You can even use it outside."
Giving me a dry look, she shook her head. "I know what it is…what's it for?"
Smiling, I pulled a matching one out of my jacket pocket slung over a nearby chair. "It's so we can keep in touch while you're gone. So you can always get a hold of me, and I can get a hold of you." I shrugged, feeling my throat starting to close up. "So we can try and stay close…even though we'll be really far apart."
I watched her eyes search mine as she swallowed a few times, like her throat was closing up a little too. Nodding, she leaned in and kissed me. "I love it, thank you."
I closed my eyes as we kissed a few times, savoring every second that her skin was on mine. Pulling back from me, her breath a little heavier, her eyes slightly hooded, her gaze focused on my mouth. I got the distinct impression that if she didn't have to take me to school in a few minutes, she would have swept me up and taken me to my bedroom. And even though I knew school was important and I needed to focus on my final year, I wanted her to.
Her eyes flashing up to mine, she gave me a breathtaking grin. "Can I sext you on it?"
I blinked at her question then felt my cheeks flame red hot again. Not giving her an answer, I smacked her shoulder and grabbed my jacket. Just as she was chuckling, tucking her new phone away in her leather jacket pocket, I heard a bedroom door open. Lisa turned towards the sound, ready to greet Jisoo, but who stepped out of the door was not my sister. They also were not dressed.
Scratching his freely swinging man parts, Jackson yawned and squinted at us. "Dude, what are you doing here so early?"
I immediately looked away from the bare naked man. Lisa smirked and shook her head. "It's ten thirty, Jackson."
I heard Jackson snort but didn't look back at him. "I know, man, it's fucking earlier than shit." Lisa looked down on me and rolled her eyes. Anything before eleven was practically the crack of dawn for Jackson. I wanted to roll my eyes as well, but I heard Jackson coming closer to us. I froze. I seriously wanted to scream at him to get some clothes on.
Yawning again, Jackson lazily said, "Hey, Lucas wanted me to tell you that if you miss another rehearsal, he's tossing you from the band."
Lisa looked back up at Jackson and raised an eyebrow. "Really?" Laughing lightly, she shook her head. "Tell him I'll be there." Looking down at me again, Lisa shrugged. "I guess my head has been other places lately."
I saw Jackson's hand come out to push back Lisa's shoulder, but I refused to look at the nudist. "Well zip your head back in your pants and get back in the game. We need you on board."
Sighing, Lisa looked up at him. "I'm on board, Jack. I'll be there, okay."
"You better."
Just as it sounded like Jackson was turning to leave, I watched Lisa shake her head, her lips twisting. "Hey, Jack? You mind not walking around my girlfriend's place buck naked? I'd really prefer her only staring at my junk, if you don't mind."
My eyes widening, I inadvertently looked back at Jackson. Smirking at me, he took himself in hand. "Dude, if she's peeking at another man's schlong, then that's between the two of you." Raising his eyebrows at Lisa, he shook his blond head. "The Hulk needs to breathe."
Lisa bit her lip, struggling to not laugh. I had no such luck with my control and had to slap a hand over my mouth. Jackson glared at both of us, then sauntered back to Jisoo's room. Once the door was closed again, Lisa burst out laughing. I joined her, the tears springing into my eyes gladly obscuring the afterimage of Jackson's pierced manhood.
Between giggles, I managed to laugh out, "The Hulk? Does it turn green when it grows?"
Holding in her stomach, Lisa shook her head. "Oh God, I hope not. Come on, let's get out of here before we find out."
Grabbing my book bag, we hastily escaped from where we could hear Jackson start to wake up Jisoo. Once in the hall, our laughter slowly subsided. When I could breathe without giggling, I smiled over at Lisa. "Thank you for trying. Seeing Jackson in all his glory…will be one of the things that I definitely won't miss."
Slinging her arm over my shoulders, Lisa shook her head. Still laughing over her ass of a band mate, she said, "I wish I could say the same, but the green mutant's coming with me."
Laughing a little myself, I raised an eyebrow at her. "You have any…nicknames?"
Lisa gave me a charmingly crooked smile. "None that I've given myself, but from what I've heard said in the bedroom, it would probably be something like, 'The Oh-God-yes-harder-faster-don't-you-dare-stop-yes-fuck-me-now-you're-freaking-amazing Machine'." she shrugged. "But that's kind of a mouthful."
Frowning, I elbowed her in the stomach and shrugged her arm off of me. Sometimes she could be just as much of a jackass as Jackson…almost, anyway. Laughing, she came up behind me and spun me around. As I squealed in protest, she lifted me up over her shoulder and smacked my bottom. "I'm just joking. Come on, let's get you to class." As I squirmed against her, she added, "Maybe while you're learning, I'll go get some of those handcuffs…then you can give me a better nickname."
I stiffened in her arms, wondering if she was serious about that; her only response was to laugh.
After depositing me at my place of higher learning, Lisa went off to go do…whatever she did while I was in school. Maybe think of new ways to mortify me. Hopefully she really was joking about the handcuffs.
Over the past weeks I'd gotten to know some of the other graduating English majors and I met up with a few of them before my Critical Practice class. It was an intense course and we'd all agreed to meet early and study for an hour before we went in. Sitting in a group of six or seven like-minded individuals, contemplating the importance of interpretive practices when studying literature and culture, I felt more like my own person, with my own hopes and dreams, and less like one of Lisa's entourage. It made me feel whole, complete, and made the process of her leaving slightly less nerve-wracking. Slightly…I still wasn't ready for that day to come.
The nearly two hour course was a brain burner, and by the time it was over, I was grateful for my slightly easier ethics class. Even if ethics brought Candy…and not the apple-flavored kind. Gritting my teeth, I did what I did nearly every day when I walked into the classroom—I ignored her and her friends. It was fairly easy to do since she'd started ignoring me too. After her failed attempt to make me jealous enough to break up with Lisa, she seemed to give up on it. Either that or she was busy plotting and scheming a more masterful plan than merely spreading gossip. I liked to believe the woman had more important things to do with her time, though.
Quickly absorbed in the lecture, I forgot about all about Candy sitting a few rows in front of me with her friends. Once the class was over, I grabbed up all of my stuff and went over the paper I was going to write tonight during slow times on my shift. The teacher was having us do a paper on the ethical responsibility of various websites. I was thinking of doing mine on a popular medical advice site, showing the importance of giving potential patients the correct information.
Already outlining my debate in my head, I bumped into Lisa in the hallway. Grabbing my shoulders, she held me in place in front of her. Lost in thought, I blinked at her stupidly for a second before smiling and engulfing her in a hug. "Hey, you're picking me up inside."
Laughing at my obvious comment, she scruffed up her hair with her hand. "Yeah, it's pouring out there. I thought I'd go for a swim instead of waiting in my car." I cringed away from the water droplets flicking me and she laughed a little more.
Looping my arm through hers, I smiled and leaned into her side. "Well, I'm glad you did. I can run my idea for a paper by you…even though you'll probably have no idea what I'm talking about." I smiled, knowing that Lisa rarely went near a computer, let alone searched the internet.
Sge grinned as we started walking away. "Hit me."
Just as I began my speech, I was jostled so harshly that I was knocked a step away from Lisa. Frowning, I glanced over at the rude person who thought they ruled the hallway. Flaming red curls met my eye as Candy snidely glared back at me. Sighing, I rolled my eyes and reattached myself to Lisa. She didn't let me, though. her eyes narrowing at Candy, she mumbled, "Stay here a second," then strode over to where she was eyeing her with pleasantly curled lips.
Irritated, but curious too, I stopped where she'd asked and watched her approach Candy and her friends. Tina and Genevieve looked about ready to faint as she stepped up to them. I figured it was the closest they'd ever actually been to her. Lisa, however, looked about ready to rip somebody's head off. Glaring at the trio, she finally rested her eyes on Candy. She backed up a step as her dark expression settled on her.
Grabbing Candy's arm, Lisa leaned into her face, whispering something heatedly. I didn't know what she was saying, but Candy's eyes widened. Shaking her head, she started muttering something and pointed at Tina. Tina put her hands in the air and started sputtering something too when Lisa's glare swung around to her. Releasing Candy's arm, Lisa said something to the three of them that had them quickly nodding and scurrying off.
Straightening as they left, Lisa turned and faced me with a perfectly normal smile, like nothing odd had just happened. She walked back to me and grabbed my hand. She started pulling me towards the doors, whistling as she did. Raising an eyebrow at her, I waited for an explanation. When she didn't give one, I cleared my throat. Looking down on me, she shrugged. "What?"
Pointing to the doors we were approaching, the window wet from the downpour she'd mentioned, I indicated where Candy had fled. "What was that all about?"
Smiling charmingly, she shrugged. "I just let them know that it wouldn't be prudent for them to spread anymore lies about me, and suggested that they leave you alone."
Grinning, she opened the door for me and moved aside so I could step through. Narrowing my eyes at her, I prepared to step past her into the downpour. They'd seemed pretty startled by whatever she'd said, so my mind was running over a list of threats that she could have used. I'd seen Lisa's anger several times before and she could be intimidating when she wanted to be. I figured they really would leave me alone for the remainder of the school year.
Smiling, I leaned in and kissed her. "Did they happen to mention how they saw your tattoo?"
Rolling her eyes as she held the door open, she shook her head. "Tina saw me working out in the park near here. I got hot, I was shirtless."
Biting my lip, I glanced down her body. Yes, she was certainly hot. I supposed that explained the story. I watched her face for a minute, gauging the truth I saw in her eyes as she held my gaze steadfastly. I saw no deception there and smiled wider. Raising a corner of her lip, she indicated outside. "Are you gonna head out there, cuz this door's getting heavy."
Laughing, I kissed her lightly and then sucked in a quick breath, preparing to make a run for it. Halfway down the steps, I felt like a waterlogged rat. Groaning, I dashed for the parking lot and wished I'd brought an umbrella.
Coming up behind me, Lisa smacked my bottom. "Hurry up, pokey, you're getting soaked." Laughing, she ran her fingers back through her hair. The mess slicked back in a way that reminded me of a less pleasant moment in the rain with Lisa. I pushed aside the memory and focused on her body twisting away from me and running hard.
Adjusting my bag, I yelled out, "No fair! You're not carrying anything."
She only looked back at me and chuckled. By the time I got to the lot, she was already in her car, feet propped up on my side of the seat and leaning her back against the driver's side door with her eyes closed, like she'd fallen asleep waiting for me. I batted her shoes as I stood in the rain, but she ignored it, and continued to take up my spot. Cursing that I was still getting soaked, I crawled over her legs to lie on top of her. That got her attention.
Her eyes opened with a wide smile. Twisting my body to shut the door, I unhooked my book bag and tossed it into the back seat. her arms came out for me, pulling my soaked body into her soaked body. Scooting down the seat, she laid her back against the cushion. She adjusted my legs so my hips were straddling hers.
"There, that's better," she muttered, lifting her head up to kiss me.
Assaulted by more wet memories of her, I pulled back. her eyes were lustful as she stared at me, her breath heavier, and not just from the exertion of running all the way out here. My wet hair hung down around my face, the long strands dripping onto her clothes. The scent of her beneath me mixed with the smell of clean water, both of them stirring something within me.
Cupping her cheek, I stroked her rain-softened skin with my thumb. Looking over her brown eyes, the specks of water glistening in her hair, the full, partly opened lips, the strong jaw, I sighed. "You're so attractive," I whispered, my words oddly in tune to the pounding rain in the background. "You're the sexiest person I've ever seen."
Feeling completely alone with her in here, even though it was the middle of the afternoon, I leaned down to kiss her. Her soft lips melded with mine, tasting, searching. After a brief moment, she frowned and shook her head. "I may not always be." Shrugging, one hand clenching and unclenching my hip while the other indicated her face, she added, "This could vanish overnight, you know. I could be mauled by a bear while walking down the street tomorrow." She lifted an eyebrow. "Would you still want me then?"
Smiling at her comment, I tilted my head. "Of course. Your face isn't the only thing that makes you attractive, Lisa. Your looks aren't why I love you." She smiled, her hands running up my back, urging me down to her. Before our lips met again, I gave her a pointed glance. "A bear? Really?"
Chuckling, she pulled me all of the way down to her. As our hips met, rocking lightly against the other's, the windshield quickly fogged up. I felt bodies hurriedly walking past the car, but with the noise of the rain and the windows tinted with moisture, I felt like we were the only two people around. As our breaths and kiss heated, Lisa murmured, "God, now I'm going to have to do something I never thought I would."
Moving up to kiss her cheek, I dug my hips into hers. "What?" I breathed, the tip of my tongue lining the edge of her ear.
She sucked in a quick breath, her hips under me rising off the seat. "I'm going to have to take you in this car," she murmured back, her voice low and husky.
She was suddenly moving underneath me, trying to twist us around so she was on top. I quickly sat up before she was successful. While I felt alone out here, I knew we weren't, and I wasn't about to advertise what we were doing by rocking the car. She sat up on her elbows, breathless. Splaying out her hands, she frowned. "Why did you stop?"
Biting my lip and carefully moving away from her hips, I pushed her feet off the seat so I could sit comfortably. Pointing at her as menacingly as I could, I sternly said, "Because you have a rehearsal to get to, and if you blow it off again, Lucas is going to kick you out of the band."
Sitting up, she wrapped her arms around me. "It's my band, they can't kick me out."
She started kissing my neck and I tried not to lean into it, tried not to start panting with desire and clawing at her clothes. Pushing her back, I dug my finger into her chest. "I'm not having sex with you in the parking lot of my school."
She glanced around, her eyes playful. "No one will notice." Looking back at me, she raised an eyebrow. "Have you ever had sex in a car?"
Blushing horribly, I tucked my hair behind my ears. "Yes, Taehyung and I…"
I didn't finish that and Lisa's playful grin faded. Releasing me, she scooted over to her side of the seat and nodded. "Oh, yeah…your road trip." Sighing, she dug her hand in her pocket and took out her keys.
I tilted my head to see her face better, to see if she was upset or not, but I couldn't tell from the angle. "Hey, you alright?"
Smiling, she looked back at me as the car roared to life. "Yeah." She shrugged, then grinning mischievously, she smirked. "I was just hoping to give you another first experience." I watched her smile falter as she turned away from me. "I guess I missed my shot, though."
Placing my hand on her thigh, I whispered, "There will be other firsts that you can give me, Lisa."
Looking back at me as she put the car in reverse, she shook her head. "I know, Jennie."
Wishing I could rewind time and not bring up an intimate moment with my ex to my current, I looked out the passenger's side window as we drove to Lisa's rehearsal. The guys generally met once a day to create new stuff or work out kinks in older stuff. Since it was how they made their living, they were all surprisingly dedicated to it. Well, except lately. Lately, Lisa had been blowing off rehearsals to spend some more time with me. Lucas had been in a snit about it. Even though technically Lisa was right, and it was her band since she'd created it, Lucas was the one that led it. He lined up the shows, he worked on marketing, he arranged rehearsals, and he demanded professionalism from the quartet of easily distracted twenty-somethings. The band was Lucas's baby.
Heading over the bridge connecting the U-District to the heart of Seattle, I watched the towering Space Needle fill my window. It was beautiful, iconic, and held a soft spot for me. Lisa had poured her heart out to me inside it. She'd opened up in ways she'd never opened up to anyone, ever. It made me incredibly sad that Lisa's life could have been so different, if she'd just told someone about the abuse as a child. She could have been taken away, put in a loving foster home. Anything would have been preferable to her nightmare.
Looking back at her, I put my hand over her knee. She smiled at the contact, quickly glancing at me before shifting her eyes back to the road. A small, dark part of me wondered if Lisa had only been attracted to me, stayed with me, fell in love with me, because her messed up psyche craved the pain I'd given her. Maybe she had a masochistic streak. If so, I'd certainly stoked it…over and over again. It truly was a miracle she'd ever taken me back.
Sighing, I leaned over and put my head on her shoulder. She relaxed her head against mine, her hand coming out to rest on my thigh. As the Needle left my vision—tall skyscrapers holding thousands of businessmen and women trailing along after it—we approached the industrial district. This is where Evan had his loft. It made a perfect spot to play, since he didn't live in a residential area like Lisa and the others. The very few neighbors that he did have, didn't seem to mind the noise, so long as the guys didn't play too late into the evening.
Driving past the two sports stadiums, Lisa came upon Evan's place. Lisa shut off the car and opened her door. She grabbed her guitar out of the back seat as I got out and waited for her near the front of the vehicle. Thankfully the earlier squall had passed, and only the normal, light drops splashed onto our still damp bodies. When Lisa stepped beside me, her hair still attractively slicked back from the rain, she smiled and nodded over to the stairs that led up to the loft.
Evan lived above an auto body shop. The mechanics all loved it when the band practiced during their shift. Sometimes they even asked the guys to leave the door open, so the sound would come down clearer. And if the guys were getting together early enough in the afternoon, sometimes they would. One of the shop employees had told me once that listening to the band through the walls made going to work feel like going to a rock concert. I understood the sentiment; they constantly made my job feel that way.
One of the garage doors was open as we walked by. A man was helping to guide another person, who was backing a car out of the door, so the driver didn't accidentally back over the massive hole in the ground where the mechanics checked out the underside of the cars. Once the car was free, the man smiled and waved at Lisa.
"Where you been, man? Lucas's gonna evict you."
Lisa rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Yeah, that's what I hear."
The man laughed while a grease-smeared woman got out of the car she'd just parked alongside the curb. She walked up to Lisa and bumped Lisa's shoulder with her fist. "Knock 'em dead on tour, Lis." She sighed dramatically while I glanced up at the rain falling on us. Maybe the woman could flirt with my girl inside…where it was dryer. Shaking her shaggy crop of dark hair, the woman frowned. "We're gonna miss you around here. It just won't be the same with Evan's place empty."
Lisa smiled back at her and I mentally frowned at the warmth I saw on her face. I knew Lisa had female friends, Somi was one of them, but I instantly wondered how friendly this mechanic-girl had been with my girlfriend. I squeezed her hand tighter, subconsciously leaning into her side as she said, "I doubt that, Rox. You'll probably not even know we're gone." Raising an eyebrow, Lisa leaned over to her. "Besides, it will finally be quiet enough around here for you to work on that book."
The woman laughed, her face brightening and I hated even more that not only were they friendly, but they knew things about each other. They even shortened the other's names. The familiarity bothered me and a rush of jealousy threatened to sweep me away. I was already struggling to not push the woman back and step in front of Lisa, growling possessively. I wouldn't ever actually do that…but I was thinking it.
Finally, someone inside whistled for the two mechanics chatting with us to get back to work. They did so reluctantly, and Lisa waved goodbye. Rox, Roxie or Roxanne, whatever her full name was, looked back at Lisa before disappearing. She had an interested expression that I'd seen way too often. And she hadn't even looked at me, like I was inconsequential. I wanted to sneer at her retreating form, maybe stick my tongue out and say, "neiner-neiner," but I wouldn't stoop to five-year-old behavior. Yet.
Pushing aside yet another woman wanting her, I followed her up the stairs to Evan's. Lisa barged right through when we got to the door, feeling just at home here as she did at her own place. Lucas's eyes were on us the second we stepped through the door.
"Bout freaking time!" Lucas glared at Lisa, and Rachel leaned over and whispered something in his ear. His features calmed and he relaxed a little, smiling over at where she stood by his side.
I waved at Rachel, the shy, exotic beauty, then waved behind her at Somi sitting on Evan's lap behind his drum set. The two of them were banging out some rhythm, Somi giggling as Evan nuzzled her neck.
Closing the door behind us, Lisa grimaced when she met Lucas's eye. "Sorry…things have been coming up."
Lisa walked us into the room. Being at Evan's loft was almost like being at a smaller version of Pete's. There was a tiny kitchen, a living room with one couch facing a TV, and a rumpled bed in the far corner, a dresser and nightstand beside it. The rest of the place was a stage. The guys kept their equipment here between shows. Except the stuff they kept at Pete's, of course. Aside from Lisa's guitar, which she chose to lug around from place to place, the guys kept a second set of instruments at Pete's on a daily basis. It was well known in the bar that touching their stuff on stage resulted in immediate eviction from the premises.
Here at Evan's, they had the sound equipment, Evan's full drum set, Jackson's bass guitar, and Lucas's guitar. With all of their instruments currently waiting for them beside plugged-in microphones, they just needed some spot lights and a couple of bouncers, and they could do a professional show from here. They were even working on enclosing the instruments with soundproof walls, so they could record themselves and release an album. They had the walls constructed, but not assembled; they were leaning uselessly against the wall behind Evan's drums. I knew Lucas really wanted to finish the project, but Bumbershoot, and now the tour, had put it on hold. I was pretty sure when they came back, it would be a top priority.
Lisa set her guitar case on a kitchen counter, propping it open. I smiled at a picture of the two of us tucked away inside the lining. As she pulled out her most prized possession, aside from her car, Jackson walked up and smacked her on the back. "Yeah, I know what's been…up."
Twisting to face me, Jackson's eyes locked straight onto my hips. It was horrid, having him stare at me like that, knowing that in his mind…right now…we were having sex. With my hands, I hid as much of my body as I could; his smile widened.
Finally noticing that Jackson was mentally assaulting me, Lisa frowned and smacked him across the back of the head. "Don't eye-fuck my girlfriend, Jackson."
Sniffing indignantly, Jackson shrugged. "What? A fella can't daydream anymore?" Lisa rolled her eyes and walked away. Jackson turned backed to me, sneering devilishly as he pointed to his head and whispered, "Later."
I felt like taking a shower.
Quickly turning my back on Jackson, I walked over to where Rachel and Somi had gathered. Forming a sort of band-wives club, we kneeled on the couch and leaned over the back to cheer on our guys from the front row of our very private concert. Watching Lisa converse with Lucas and Evan, while Jackson picked up Lucas's guitar and started rocking out like he was Slash, I sighed softly. I'd miss this when they were gone.
Rachel and Somi both sighed right after me. Looking over at the two of them, I watched them watch their men, their loves. Somi had been tearful when I'd met up with her after the announcement that the band was going on tour. She was excited for Evan to go, but she didn't want to be apart from him, anymore than I wanted to be apart from Lisa. She didn't seem worried at all about Evan straying, though. Her confidence in his faithfulness was inspiring. I wished I shared that confidence. That was something I'd had with Taehyung. A nearly unbreakable faith that he'd never, ever cheat on me. It was a comfort that had somehow slipped away from me once I'd cheated on him. Now, I sort of felt like anybody could do anything to anyone. It was a horrible feeling to have.
Rachel looked over at me, her deeply tanned skin looking a little pale "I can't believe they're leaving Saturday." She shook her head and shrugged. "Where did the time go?"
I sighed again, knowing I'd thought the exact same thing earlier. "I know…" I looked back to the guys. Lisa had slung her guitar across her chest and was nodding at Lucas while Lucas mimed guitar chords in the air. Evan watched the two, occasionally nodding. Jackson was tuning them all out, bowing to him imaginary crowd. Shaking my head, I muttered, "It seems like just yesterday that we watched them play Bumbershoot."
Somi sighed, sitting back on her heels. "Lucas's having a going away party at his place after their performance Friday night." She sighed again, forlornly. "Their last performance."
I swallowed as I looked over at her. Her eyes were just as glassy as mine felt. It was so hard to let people live their dreams, especially when those dreams took them thousands of miles away. Nodding, I leaned over and hugged Somi. She hugged me back, sniffling a little. Rachel's arms circled around the both of us and we had a moment of left-behind-girlfriend pity. It was interrupted by soft chuckling in front of us.
As we broke apart, we all looked up at Lisa, smirking as she looked down at us. "Group cuddling…and I wasn't invited?" she asked, raising an eyebrow suggestively.
Somi and Rachel giggled and I smacked her in the stomach. Chuckling a little harder, she grabbed my hand and pulled me across the couch into her body. I squealed, but her lips came down to mine and I instantly stopped. Forgetting that everyone was around, I closed my eyes and tangled my fingers in her drying hair.
Losing myself in the moment, I moaned a little when her tongue brushed against mine. Nervous giggles met my ear, but I somehow didn't care. I only snapped out of it when I heard someone shout, "Hey? We playin'…or screwing the girls?"
Lisa and I separated and both looked over at Jackson grinning mischievously. Grabbing his pants, Jackson shook his head. "I'm cool either way, I just need to know which instrument to pull out."
Lisa frowned and stood up straight. I flushed bright red and laid my head down on the couch. Somi and Rachel laughed, Somi's hand sympathetically patting my back. From above, I heard Jackson being hit hard. Smiling, I peeked my head up in time to see Jackson flip Lisa off with one hand while massaging his arm with the other. Lisa stifled a smile as she took her spot behind her microphone. Locking gazes with me, she waited while Evan tapped out an intro.
Lucas and Evan started the song perfectly, their instruments filling the space around us. The room vibrated with power and energy and I giggled, loving it. Lisa smiled, watching me enjoy what she also enjoyed. Jackson joined in a few beats later, Lisa joining the fray last. With all of their sounds mixing and surging perfectly, Lisa started to sing.
She was perfect. She elongated words and phrases effortlessly. She sucked in quick breaths suggestively. Her voice was clear, strong, pitch-perfect…amazing. I could listen to her sing all day long. If I had an iPod with her on it, it would be on endless repeat. The song was a newer one that they were putting together. It was nearly ready, and Lucas wanted to include it on the tour. Their first performance of it would be Friday night, as sort of a thank you to the diehard fans that had stuck with them from the very beginning.
Lucas worked the rehearsals around everyone's schedules, so sometimes they played later in the evening, when I was working. But I always tried to make it when they were rehearsing before my shift. I just loved watching the creative process. I'd watched Lisa write the lyrics in her kitchen over coffee. I'd watched her and Evan and Lucas shuffle through the melody at the bar. It was so amazing to me, to watch an idea in someone's head blossom into a powerful song of breaking through a crossroads and coming out the other side stronger. It was a beautiful piece. I liked to think that the song was somehow about us.
When they got to the chorus, Lisa frowned and stopped singing mid-sentence. She looked over at Lucas and eventually the other instruments died out, Jackson stopping last. Lucas frowned and shook Jackhead and Lisa pointed to her guitar. "What are you doing? That's the bridge, not the chorus."
Lucas sighed and raised his hand into the air. "Dude, that's what I've been saying. You're so spacey lately." He pointed back to Evan. "Since you've been missing rehearsals and leaving us without a singer, Evan and I have been tweaking the music. We flopped the two sections and it sounds about a million times better." Frowning, he stuck his hand on his hip and shook his spiky head. "And you'd know that if you were around more."
Raising her hands submissively, Lisa backed off. "Fine, dang, just asking." Looking between Evan and Lucas, Lisa sighed. She quickly glanced at me before returning her eyes to Lucas. "I'm sorry, okay, but I'm here now and I'm committed to this, so just…fill me in, alright?"
Lucas scrunched his lips together, but nodded. "Any other changes I should know about?" Lisa asked, shrugging.
Lucas started to shake his head, then tilted it to the side. "Oh, well, we added a solo for me before the last chorus." He smiled, just slightly, and raised a pale eyebrow at Lisa.
Lisa looked away, a small smile on her lips too. Chuckling a little, she shook her head. "I guess that's what I get for being a flake." Settling her eyes on me, she smiled a little wider. "Worth it though," she muttered to me, then louder to the guys, "Okay, back to where we left off."
They finished the song with no more interruptions from Lisa, and Lucas reveled in his new mini-solo while Lisa shook her head, amused. At the end of the song I had to agree with Lucas, the changes were small, and someone not in the know probably wouldn't notice, but overall the song did sound better. They were going to rock Friday.
When the guys were finished for the day, it was time for Somi and me to start our shifts. The guys followed us over, eager to relax with a beer after their "hard" day at work. I had to roll my eyes as I handed it to them. Sometimes I got jealous over how easy their lifestyle was—drinking, partying and playing music all night, staying up late, being swarmed by fawning females—but I saw how seriously they took it, and knew how hard they worked behind the scenes to keep their success going.
Truly, their job was probably as taxing as mine. At least mine had a definite ending time, theirs was sort of twenty-four seven. A fact that was reaffirmed for me when a couple of college girls got up the nerve to approach their table later in the evening. They chatted with the fans amicably. Lisa politely brushed off the blonde one's affections and shook her head when The blonde nodded to the front doors and raised her eyebrows in a clearly sexual way.
I frowned, watching the display and wanting to "accidentally" dump my tray on her. No, aspects of their job were never-ending…unfortunately.
