Chapter 7

Zoya stood in the war room, having summoned Adrik to bring her the assassin.

"Makhi is dead," she told the man in chains. "A victim of her own destructive ambitions. Everything she set out to achieve has failed. Now you will be taken to Shu Han to answer for your role in it."

She waved over two Second Army soldiers to remove him, then turned to Adrik.

"I want you to lead the delegation to Shu Han. It is not without risk, but I hope to head off a declaration of war for violating Shu Han's border, and for the death of one of their regents."

Adrik nodded seriously. "And if it doesn't?"

"Then get out of there."

And Zoya would deal with the repercussions for Ravka later. For now, though, she would attempt diplomatic channels and focus on repairing the damage closer to home.

She went to check on Nikolai. Genya and Tolya were sitting in the outer room, solemnly quiet. Zoya looked past them at the cracked bedroom door.

"Is he asleep?" she asked.

"No," Genya spoke softly. "He's just kept it dark."

Frowning, Zoya strode past them and into the room. Rather than barge in and throw the curtains open, she shifted her eyes to dragon slits, adjusting better to the dark this way. She spotted Nikolai slumped in a chair in the corner. In the past, she would have chastised him for feeling sorry for himself. Now, though, she knew he was like an open wound after everything that had happened—and she didn't even know the details yet. So she approached him with the caution and gentleness she would a wounded animal.

"Nikolai," she called gently.

"I'm here," he replied, voice subdued. "Please don't turn on the light."

"That's fine. I can see well enough." She crossed the room toward him.

He looked up and managed the barest of smiles. "Now that is an unnerving sight: two disembodied eyes glowing in the dark."

"More unnerving than what you're hiding from?" she responded.

He looked away, and she saw him flex his hand, no doubt the memory of the scars burned into his mind's eye without him needing to physically see them. He finally sagged further and raised a hand to drop his head into. "Go ahead."

Zoya moved to light an oil lamp, keeping it turned down low so that only a dim, amber hue filled the room. When she went back over to him, he still wouldn't look at her, so she reached out to take his hand away from his face, stroking her thumb over black marks.

"I've seen you looking much worse than this; do you think a few extra scars will repulse me?"

"They repulse everyone else."

"Self-pity doesn't become you," she said, only to regret it when something in his gaze shuttered. "I'm sorry," she amended, crouching in front of the chair. "What you went through was terrible, worse than the early days of the demon, I imagine."

"You can't imagine," Nikolai murmured.

Zoya faltered at that and at the haunted but almost deadened look in his eyes. "Tell me," she coaxed.

He shook his head and looked away again.

"Nikolai." She touched his arm, but he abruptly flinched away from her, and she withdrew her hand.

"I'm sorry," he immediately apologized. "I'm just…still on edge."

"That's understandable," she said carefully. Wounded animal, she had to remind herself, and she waited there, crouched down to his eye level in the chair, waiting for him to go on and tell her what had happened in Makhi's laboratory. But after several long minutes, he still didn't speak.

"Nikolai," Zoya tried again.

"Please don't ask me," he interrupted, and there was a brittle vulnerability in his voice that gave her pause.

"All right. We can talk about it later."

He didn't respond to that, and he still wouldn't look her in the eye. Zoya swallowed the hurt she felt, knowing that it wasn't anything personal against her. Nikolai had been through an awful trauma and needed time. So she stood up and drew another chair closer but not too close, and simply sat with him in silence. Until Genya knocked on the door but didn't enter.

"Zoya, you're needed."

She sighed and got up to leave. She lightly brushed her fingertips over Nikolai's hand where he could see so as not to startle him, but also to offer at least a smidgen of comfort. She wished she could stay with him while he recovered from this, but she was queen, and so she would have to entrust him to her friends, who she knew cared about him just as much as she did.


Tamar sat at hers and Nadia's little breakfast table in their shared room in the Little Palace. They were supposed to be enjoying a quaint meal together, but Tamar couldn't help feeling as though they were in the calm before a storm, though she wasn't sure if that was regarding Ravka's relationship with Shu Han or something else.

To make matters worse, food was once again turning to ash on her tongue. She forced it down anyway, telling herself her body just needed time to recover from the parem, which had been a major shock to her system.

She swallowed the unappetizing bread and caught her wife eyeing her closely. Tamar sighed. "I'm fine," she repeated.

Nadia shifted awkwardly. "Have your Grisha powers become like Nina's?"

Tamar shook her head. "I've only used them once, since, to subdue Nikolai's demon. But it wasn't like Nina's ability to manipulate dead things. It's not the same as my heartrending used to be either. I'm not sure what it is yet."

Nadia continued to look worried, and Tamar attempted to put on a confident demeanor; it would do them no good fretting.

But then a wave of nausea lurched through her stomach with such strength that she immediately bolted from the chair for the toilet, reaching it in time to throw up breakfast.

"I'll get a Healer," Nadia said urgently and hurried from the room. At least one would be nearby in the Little Palace.

Tamar continued to dry heave until it felt like her stomach had expelled every last bit of foreign substance she had put in it, and then some. It left her utterly shaky and exhausted, and she dragged herself across the floor to the bed to lie down. Nadia returned shortly after with a Healer named Stana.

Tamar stayed on the bed and closed her eyes as Stana moved her hands over her in examination. But no relief came. She cracked her eyes open in time to see the Healer step back, looking perplexed.

"Your cells are dying," Stana said.

Tamar tensed and tried to prop herself up on her elbows.

"What?" Nadia exclaimed.

"I've never seen anything like it. I can't determine a cause or how to fix it. It's widespread, too, every cell, not just isolated." Stana shook her head. "I'm sorry, this is beyond me."

Tamar felt like a rock dropped into the pit of her stomach. Had she not escaped the lethalness of parem withdrawal after all? But the other day the Healers had determined she was perfectly fine.

"We should go see Genya," Nadia said.

Tamar didn't see how Genya would be able to do anything more than a trained Healer could, but she didn't know what else to do. So even though she still felt wretched, she forced herself to her feet to head to the Grand Palace.

Genya was still in Nikolai's rooms, and unfortunately Tolya was there too. Not that Tamar wanted to hide this from her brother, but she didn't want to worry him even more than he already was. There was no avoiding it, though. Tamar told both of them what Stana had found, and then she held still as she submitted to another examination.

Genya pulled away, looking just as befuddled as the first Healer. "I have no idea what this is," she said.

Tolya shot Tamar an extremely concerned look.

"But she was fine," Nadia said, getting worked up again.

Genya's expression pinched. "If David were here, he would come up with some theory we could investigate. I don't even know where to begin."

Nadia moved forward and pulled Genya into a hug. Tamar also reached out to touch her arm in a gesture of comfort. It was easier to be strong for other people than oneself. She didn't want to have to think about facing her own mortality. It was one thing to face death in battle; as a warrior, she was no stranger to that. But this, this insidious, pervasive enemy was one she couldn't see and therefore couldn't even begin to fight.

A scream from the bedroom shattered the silence, and they all went running. The crashing of glass resounded just as they barreled into the room, only to find Nikolai gone and the window shattered. They rushed to the sill and looked out as the demon went swooping down to attack people in the yard below. Terrified screams rent the air.

The burst of adrenaline momentarily fueled Tamar enough to keep up with the others as they all ran outside to stop Nikolai. Soldiers had already formed a line and were shooting at him. Nadia summoned a gust of wind to disrupt the bullet trajectories, but one still clipped the demon, and it veered around with an enraged shriek.

"Don't shoot!" Genya yelled.

The soldiers faltered, but the demon didn't. It swooped down and snatched a soldier's rifle, which he was still clinging to. The demon lifted him off the ground and flung him through the air. Nadia attempted to cushion his fall.

Tamar acted on instinct, thrusting her hands out and connecting to the demon's molecules. But unlike manipulating blood or nerves like she used to, she felt herself take hold of something different, something more encompassing yet amorphous. Vitality.

Waves of aura like mist began to roll off the demon and toward her, and she breathed it in, the essence filling her lungs and permeating through her bloodstream. The demon went crashing to the ground where it struggled but couldn't get up under Tamar's assault. Gradually, the demon receded, turning Nikolai back into himself.

Her power kept pulling, though, kept siphoning, and she had to consciously break it off. Her entire body was thrumming with strength and energy, and she had never felt so invigorated. She looked down at her hands in dawning horror. Food and drink made her sick, but the life energy of other beings nourished her.

That was how the parem had permanently changed her.


Nikolai came to on cold cobblestones. Everything was fuzzy at first, and he felt so weak he couldn't even open his eyes at the moment. But he heard people shuffling around him and Genya softly yet persistently calling his name. He managed to prize his eyelids open and saw her looming over him. Tolya was on his other side, crouched protectively and staring staunchly out at something. Nikolai shifted his gaze and saw a number of guards looking back at him fearfully, guns at the ready. And he realized with devastating clarity that they weren't reacting to just the new scars on his face, but that they had witnessed the demon in all its feral menace. It had broken free, torn its way into his mind and body and taken control before Nikolai had even had a breath to fight with. It hadn't even waited for nightfall as it used to, but had erupted out of the blue in the morning hours.

Nikolai tried to push himself up, but his arms were shaking and he could barely support himself. Tolya and Genya took his arms to help him. Then Zoya was storming into the yard

"Stand down!" she barked at the soldiers as she rushed over to Nikolai. He found he couldn't meet her eyes. She turned to Tolya and Genya. "Let's get him inside."

Nikolai let himself be hauled to his feet and half carried back into the palace. The fearful looks and hushed voices that trailed them all the way to his rooms pricked at him like knives. It had stung before, the whispers, the underlying nervousness, but he had retained his confidence through the fact that he had the demon under complete control by then, could even wield it in battle. Now that was all gone, and he was the monster they were all right to fear.

They reached his rooms, and Tolya and Genya helped him to bed. The shock of the demon's emergence was beginning to fade, and Nikolai realized how worn down he felt, more so than usual. Genya came to stand over him, raising her hands, and he couldn't help but flinch away violently.

She paused, looking confused. "I'm just healing the bullet graze."

He forced himself to sit still and tried to calm his racing heart as she proceeded. She continued to frown worriedly at him, no doubt able to sense his body in a state of panic. But she probably chalked it up to what happened outside.

The window was broken, but Zoya began repairing it with her Durast abilities while Genya healed Nikolai.

"What happened?" Tolya finally asked him.

"I don't know. The demon just…came out. No warning, and I couldn't control it." He swallowed hard, the fraught looks on everyone's faces clear to see.

"At least Tamar was somehow able to change you back quickly," Genya put in. "That's an improvement from…before."

"About that," Tamar put in hesitantly. "What I did…I think I somehow drained the demon's strength into myself."

Genya's brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I feel completely well again. Strong, even." She slid her gaze to Nikolai. "How do you feel?"

He pursed his mouth in thought. "'Drained' is an apt description," he replied.

Genya went over to Tamar next and ran her hands over her, her eyes widening in surprise and confusion. "Your cells are no longer dying," she said. "They're all completely healthy again."

Zoya paused her work on the window. "What are you saying?"

Tamar looked uncomfortable. "I think I can only survive by…feeding off other living people. Food and drink make me sick now."

Nikolai wasn't Grisha, but even he knew this was something very serious.

"I don't understand," Nadia chimed in. "Why would this happen and not what happened to Nina? You're both Heartrenders who survived parem."

Tamar's expression pinched in contemplation. "When we were both dosed with parem and I was trying to stop the demon, I didn't just connect with its body on the molecular level—I connected with the merzost to slow it down. Maybe that was a factor."

Nikolai closed his eyes in grief for his friend as the room fell silent. Now they not only had his demon to contend with, but also the fact that apparently Tamar was going to have to "feed" on people to survive.

He cleared his throat. "Well, you currently have a food source right here whenever the demon makes an appearance."

None of them looked particularly happy about that, but it was something, at least, and they had no other plan to deal with either issue at the moment.


With a temporary plan in place, the others left, with Tamar going to pack her things to move into Nikolai's rooms for the time being. Zoya stayed behind. When it was just the two of them alone, she reached out to offer comfort, but he skirted away from her.

"Don't."

Zoya dropped her arm and clenched her hand into a fist. "I have never been put off by this before, and I'm not now."

Something dark flashed in his eyes, a hardness she rarely saw in him. "Not after what you saw in that lab?" he bit out.

She hesitated, taking a moment to study his posture and body language. "I thought you didn't remember," she said carefully.

Nikolai shook his head, looking distraught, sickened, and haunted. "I didn't, not until I became the demon again. Then it all came back, what it did to Makhi and the scientists."

She tried to step closer again, but he recoiled.

"It's safer if you don't get too close."

"That was different. The demon was on parem then."

"I no longer have control!" he exploded.

"You didn't have control in the beginning, either," she rejoined. "And I still stood by you."

"That was also different. I was your king and you were my general; it was your duty. Now you are queen and you can't put yourself in danger."

"I am not afraid of danger."

Nikolai's expression twisted with anguish, his mood rapidly swinging from one end of the pendulum to the other. "Just go," he pleaded.

Zoya faltered, not wanting to leave him like this but also getting the feeling that now wasn't a good time to push his brittle boundaries. So she quietly left the room to give him the space he requested.

But she'd barely stepped into another wing when she was confronted by the Fjerdan delegation, all dressed for the road and not the negotiating table.

"Your Highness," one of them greeted tautly. "First an assassin breaches your walls, and now the demon you keep is out of control. Ravka clearly is in no state to negotiate a truce."

Zoya stiffened. "Those matters are unrelated and under control."

The Fjerdan scoffed. "It certainly doesn't appear that way. We will be returning to Fjerda. Perhaps if your country doesn't implode on itself, there will be something to negotiate in the future."

Zoya glared at the man's back as he turned on his heel and stormed toward the doors, his entire entourage following behind.

General Makarovich stepped up beside her. "The Fjerdan scum is not wrong," he said in a low voice. "Nikolai Lantsov is now a danger to everyone. I must inform you that the council members are already discussing the need to…handle it."

Zoya whirled on him. "Speak plainly, General."

The man drew his shoulders back. "The demon should be put down."

Put down. Like an animal. Never mind the very human part of him that had to live like this through no fault of his own.

"We have a way to keep the demon in check now," she told him angrily. "It will not attack anyone again."

Makarovich gazed back at her, expression masked. "Very well, moi tsaritsa. I hope for your sake and the sake of Ravka that is true."

He turned and walked away, leaving Zoya standing in the middle of the hall. Alliances were fracturing so easily, but she hoped she had bought time with her own people. She could not fight an additional war on the home front.