It had been pretty rough for Merlin to find the Knight he had been told about by his uncle. Everybody-and that would not ever be an exaggeration, it was literally everybody-had been watching him awkwardly walking through the village. Merlin had felt like such a freak, keeping his arms tucked in so that he wouldn't bump into anybody, with his head whipping side to side in either direction to try and find only a single person who actually had a life. And thus, had far better things to do with their time that didn't include staring Merlin down. Since Merlin had 'dared' to enter the public space as if it had been his own. How could he…maybe it'd really been a mistake for him to come down here on his own. Maybe he should've let Gaius quietly bring him back up to his chambers, so Merlin wouldn't have to subject himself to…this. But it was too late for his regrets now, and he was already here, and this letter of his was not going to deliver itself, and…there was the one solid reason why he had chosen to come down here, even if he knew he would be forced to face the people shopping.

…Arthur…

Think about it, where would Arthur go once he heard of the lies being peddled around this cit as if it was the only truth of the matter? To the place where Merlin slept, the place the consort ate most of his meals, the place where he kept all of his belongings, the place he would change his clothing and bathe himself….the place where he spent most of the time because it was the only place in this entire kingdom where he didn't feel so much like a freak. Or would Arthur go down to the largest and most populated place his kingdom had on the off chance that he 'might' find Merlin wondering around as if he was nothing but a babbling buffoon. The prince was smarter then to do that, which was why Merlin had to be far smarter, if he was hoping to escape him. Dealing with these people….and their staring…and their everything else…would always be more preferable then dealing with Arthur again…

At one point, Merlin had to jerk back at some old guy-who really had no business being out and about in the town only because he looked as if he was about to collapse to the dirt because of how rickety he looked-still mustered up enough gob of spit to attack him with. And jerking back only made it stop from landing on his face. It did nothing to stop it, when it landed on the top of his boot. Merlin stared down at it with a horrified expression, though it was hardly the first time the people of this fair city had sought to attack him with all their bodily functions at their disposal. Do not even try to get him started on that one time week ago, somebody had thrown a full chamber pot out of their window right when Merlin had been walking by…Merlin was still positive the middle-aged serving woman had been waiting purposely for him to be in the right place at the wrong time. If only because the proud woman had been smirking when she slammed her windows shut before he could get a better look at her. Though, it was hardly as if he was going to report her…who would bother to try stopping her. Merlin had just stopped wondering himself near the housing district, after that. But Merlin could hardly stop walking through the marketplace to avoid having been forced to live through similar states…it was the only place in the kingdom he could reasonably go, other then the castle itself.

Though see, this had been been one of the many reasons he had started hiding out instead of confronting them. The consort was done with confronting people who only acted as if their was something wrong with him for being upset at what they had done. Having bodily fluids flung at him, being shoved about by people stronger and better fed then he had been allowing himself to be lately…it didn't matter. Each one of these assaults made Merlin's heart drop like a stone right to his stomach. But…as he said…Merlin was tired of trying to get some dignity in a city who thought he was far more of a freak then he really was. It was still better then dealing with Arthur, so Merlin had not said a word to the elderly man as he stumbled passed. Merlin had simply wiped the toe of his boot off in the dirt as best as he could, even though Merlin swore it didn't do much more then smear it. At least the dirt was able to mask the majority of it, which was a very weak plus in his book. But it was also the only thing Merlin had to hold onto.

Though…perhaps it wasn't the only thing Merlin had to hold onto, he thought, as he brought a hand up to rest it against the side of his coat. Where he could hear the crinkling of his mother's letter underneath his hand…it was just a story full of not one truth, written by this desperate boy who had not one thing to lose by writing down the fairytale life he wanted for a good long while. Beside, if Arthur did finally try to do what he wanted this entire time and kill him, then at least his mother would think he had been happy for a time first. That would be better then nothing, though hardly by much…and the consort nearly fell on his backside when a burly guy who held a sack of flour over his shoulder-the bakers brand new assistant after the last one had died in the sickness, Merlin figured him to be, rammed into his shoulder, breaking apart the hold he had on the letter in his pocket.

"Freak…!" The guy scorned loudly as he passed by, doing absolutely nothing to hide the volume of his voice. Merlin watched him go, holding tightly onto his shoulder where it was throbbing…if only he knew the real kind of freak Merlin was. Then maybe he wouldn't be so cocky, would be trying to escape from 'the monster'…or he would be trying to lead the charge against him for the pyre. The sound of snickering had drew Merlin's attention away from him, and everywhere he looked was more and more snickering. Some were trying to at least hide their mirth behind their hands, but there was just as many that weren't bothering, giving him wide grins to show him how funny they thought the other boy was…many of them had already been smirking at him though. Sideshow freak that he was, the Unwanted one he would always carry around with him like a shroud…amusement meant only to be enjoyed by the masses at his own expense. The boy seemed to only add to it…

And even though Merlin had absolutely nothing that should shame him, he ducked his head down and pushed his own way through the city with a shameful blush burning across his face. Everybody was staring…everybody knew what had happened…everyone 'assumed' they knew the truth of the deceitful rumors…and it was too late for Merlin to turn back around and make a run for it back to the safety of his uncles chambers. Then everybody would know that Merlin was just a coward who couldn't handle two minutes of walking…and Merlin had always been anything but a coward. Though, was he not already a coward, the whole reason Merlin was in this situation in the first place was because he was trying to run from Arthur…Merlin's chest constricted at the thought. No, it was not cowardliness that made him run, it was survival…pure and simple. His survival instincts kicking him in, urging him forward…but Merlin didn't know what to listen to since it was also telling him to escape from this ungodly situation he had found himself in.

Merlin would dare to glance up, but still…he was met with more and more smirks, as if they too, also knew that this was going to be the last straw. That Arthur was going to end up killing him over this falsehood…Merlin would duck down his head again, his blush growing fuller with his shame. How did people like this exist…did they think this was funny…did they really have no idea that Arthur was liable to kill him for such a thing. Arthur had always flown off the handle when it came to the simplest of things, Merlin found that he would be absolutely 'terrified' when Arthur showed up…and these people thought it was…funny…Merlin could hear his heart as it slowly pounded away in his eardrums, doing nothing that would help drown out the stares that pierced every inch of his flesh…Merlin squeezed his eyes as tightly together as he was able too, seeing the white stars filling out the blackness that was behind his eyelids…was everybody in this kingdom really as blind as the royal family was. Did nobody see what was going on, did nobody care or even want to try getting to the bottom of things? Or were they just content to walk as if they were sheep, following the moves of the person ahead of them with no thought to it.

They were all just so eager to believe it, so pleased with the idea that he had been stepping out on Arthur…happy since it meant he would probably not be allowed in Camelot once word reached the king himself. But Merlin would burn for a crime such as this…having secret dates with a man that was not his husband….Merlin had taken vows in front of a God in the heavenly sky that was not his God, but was the God of many that did not believe in the Old Religion any longer. He was nothing but loyal to the people who deserved his loyalty and yet…Merlin was expected to stay loyal to somebody out there who had done the very same crimes that Merlin would be accused of now. Nothing had happened when Arthur had tried to cheat on him, because he had the good graces to at least do it in private. Merlin hadn't done anything, and yet, it was still a punishment he would have to face because not a soul in the city had seemed to miss the news. As it filtered its way down to the lowest of citizen in the entire kingdom…my heir own guests, Mercia, had probably heard of the news now. And who would want to align their own kingdoms right to another who was as fickle as Merlin looked to be…it was only one more thing that would be laid at his feet.

Merlin blinked open his eyes, and stared at a mother who hissed at him 'you should be ashamed of yourself'-as if he was not already, before dragging her two small children far away from him, whispering urgently that 'Consort Merlin is the one man in the kingdom they should never strive to be like when they grew'. And Merlin wondered how everybody in the kingdom could be so hypocritical. Uther Pendragon was a mass murderer, who destroyed the lives of hundreds of people without a second thought to the repercussions of what that would be. Arthur Pendragon walked around like he thought he was forever standing on top of a royal pedestal, and stood with pride because he would never be cast out of society over stupid rumors that should have never seen the light of day. Arthur literally spent half his days screaming at those beneath him, or taking out his rages on people when Merlin wasn't around to distract him. And yet, it was Merlin-who had 'betrayed' the wedding vows he hadn't believed in, in the first place-that was the Royal nobody wanted to have their kids growing up to be like. But did Merlin blame them…no. Merlin wouldn't want to be him either, if he'd been given the choice.

Merlin subtly, or as subtly as he was able too under the eyes of the people that followed him everywhere he went, rubbed underneath his eye. He was all red and splotchy around his eyes, crusty he was sure, from all the crying he had done as he escaped from Gaius'. He was still wet in the eyes, and the consort sniffled in an attempt to not start again. He wiped at them, and opted to keep his head ducked as low as he'd be able to reasonably walk it. Wiping at the tears only made the worse of them come-which he should have known already…he'd spent many nights since coming to Camelot, doing not a thing more then crying to himself-and he wasn't prepared for Camelot to see how much of a wreck he was. It was bad enough to be known as a cheater, somebody who would be disloyal to their wedding vows…an adulterer…there would be nothing worse then also being known as the consort who'd cried crocodile tears when he had been caught. Merlin was sure his nose was bright red from his sniffling, and he could barely see where he was walking but…the only thing worse then being known as the consort that cried crocodile tears, was knowing to himself that he had turned around before he finished the 'one thing' he had set out to do.

Merlin slowly brought his arms up and curled them tightly around himself. He could vaguely notice that it was a warm and beautiful day, and yet…to Merlin…he might as well have been standing in a block of ice. Merlin was so cold…and he was so lonely…standing in a street where if he screamed his bloody lungs out right now, people would only hiss at him to shut up. Ask him if he hasn't caused enough problems with what he had 'done' to Arthur…and the only sign of warmth he had was the crinkling of his mother's letter laying against his chest. Merlin didn't even know why it was so important to him that his mother got this…this fable…he had written all out for her. Maybe it was because Merlin wanted to feel as if he still had his mother around,. Maybe it was also because if his end was neigh…Merlin wouldn't want his mother to know he had died just as miserably as he had lived. Either reason for it…Merlin just knew that it was the one thing he wanted to do before he died. Merlin curled his arms around himself tighter, dragging the fabric of his jacket so that it was tight against his arms…the only thing that he'd want in this entire world, the one thing Arthur had not once offered him…was his mother…

He missed her so fiercely, that his chest literally hurt due to how empty and hallowed out it was. His mother would have known what to do in the circumstances he found himself in right now. Or at least she would know how to make him feel all better, as if this wasn't actually somehow his fault for not being better at pretending to be a doting husband…but the only thing Merlin wanted was to have his mother wrap arms around him. To pull her into her warm embrace, and whisper to him that everything might look bleak, but things would be better if he only gave it time, as she always did whenever he was having issues struggling with keeping his magic only to himself, and knowing he could do so many things that would help their little village…if only given the chance. Merlin only wished he could sit next to her by the hearth, as she would hum under her breath while she sewed closed a rip in one of his shirts he'd gotten earlier that day. He wanted to be able to sit at the table, and have her smile in amusement while he tried to reenact something funny he'd seen or heard about that day. He wanted to…he wanted to…smell the soup that his mother had put aside just for him whenever he ended up working late, trying to do his part. He wanted to hear all the flames crackling away in the hearth, heating up the place as it was so small, not even the cracks in the wood allowing for the heat to escape could stop it from warming them. Merlin wanted his mother's laughter, and her sweet demeanor, and her comforting words, and he just wanted…

…Her.

God help Merlin if nobody else was going to, but Merlin was only able to 'wish' he could continue fighting everyday on a off chance that he might be rewarded with seeing her just a single time more before he died. But Merlin didn't know how much fight he had going for him. He didn't even know why it was something he was bothering to fight for….this life…there might be a few people that would be sad, but Merlin was not anything special. They would get over it, move on with their lives as if he never existed, and he really could be just a far off distant memory of 'who was that guy again' if anybody bothered to remember Arthur had already been married off once before. But other then the few people who would have been briefly saddened by his passing…what exactly was he doing standing around here for? To save magic like the huge dragon underneath the castle kept peddling him…spending his life trying to save Arthur's, and keep him alive, when the consort didn't fault anybody for trying to kill him. Lord knew Merlin wanted too… but none of that was important enough for Merlin to keep fighting the good fight.

Merlin hated to be so weak, and hated putting the burden of it all on somebody else, but perhaps there was another out there that was stronger then him. Somebody that was able to bring magic back, somebody else that could deal with the prince on the frequent, somebody else that could live with all of these people putting him under a microscope and then judging and micromanaging every aspect of his bloody life as if it was theirs to judge. Maybe somebody else would've known what to do, or how to stop these rumors the second they had came to light. Maybe there was somebody else out there that could do what Merlin could not and could play the role he had been given so convincingly, that nobody would have believed these rumors in the first place. Perhaps, there really was somebody out there who wouldn't fall, or crumble or break into two as if they were nothing but cheep wood all the rain had already destroyed. Merlin wasn't strong enough to deal with this added pressure, he hadn't asked for any of it, and yet…it was Merlin that had to deal with it….

X

It was by some strange miracle, or luck of faith, but Merlin did eventually track down the knight Gaius had instructed him to go see…Knight Erick. Merlin hadn't dared try to ask somebody for any direction, for fear that if they did bother answering him, it would have only been to send him on this wild goose chase, that would lead him miles and miles away from his goal. Though to be honest, Merlin knew he would have preferred walking all of those matters, as long as there was no chance of Merlin needing to try and stumble his way through a conversation. As out of practice with talking as he was…but staring up at Knight Erick now, Merlin couldn't help but wonder if he should have just kept on walking. Pretend it wasn't Knight Erick he was looking for and Merlin would just disappear seamlessly back into the crowd of people walking by at that moment. Erick would have never known he'd been there for him, and Knight Erick wouldn't be glaring down his nose at him as if he was the scum under the heel of his best boots.

Knight Erick was a serious and gruff looking man, who was at least a good decade or so older then Merlin himself was at the moment. With hair just turning the faintest of silver at the temples, harsh wrinkles etched into his forehead, almost as if they had been carved into the skin. And this permanent scowl that was directed down at Merlin, though the consort couldn't know if that was an everyday occurrence, or if that was only because Merlin himself was trying to talk to him. It was talking that was the key word, because Merlin seemed to be a stuttering wreck, mentally kicking himself again and again as he tried to get the words to come out. They would eventually, but in bits and pieces that had to be completely incomprehensible to the human ear. It didn't help that Erick was sitting on top of a horse, with a large saddle bag laid on his horse's rump, already filled with the letters of the month he would be delivering around the kingdom…it added to the knight's great height, and made Merlin feel like a freak when the knight raised an annoyed looking eyebrow straight down at him, looking down his nose at him. It was obvious he was wondering why the 'gnat' was trying to talk to him…and the cynical part of Merlin's brain whispered to him that this was definitely him. His presence souring the knight's mood…

Merlin couldn't handle his own stuttering any longer, and he could feel the tips of his ears starting to turn red the longer the knight continued to send him scolding looks. But Merlin hadn't made it this far, only to turn around, so he stuck one of his hands down the inner pocket of his jacket, and pulled out both items he'd been holding close to his chest. One of the items was the false letter he would be sending off to his mom, and the second item was the sack of golden coins his uncle had given him to send off the letter. Though, the little pouch of golden coins made the most noise, each coin was clinking alongside the other in a manner that would have to be particularly grating to the ear. And Merlin blinked back at the tears threatening to form-what was wrong with him, why was he so bloody sensitive that he couldn't even mail out a simple letter without making himself feel as if he really was a freak show-while his hand shaking only made the clinking of the coins worse. The tips of his ears darkened, and Merlin could only lower his eyes in shame, knowing that he seemed to be incapable of making his hand stopped. Here he was…trying to convince this knight to do him this without being all prejudice enough to turn him away because of who he was, and Merlin couldn't even do it right.

What the bloody hell was the matter with him? It couldn't be 'this hard' to get a simple letter sent off. But the day clearly had taken it's toil on Merlin, as most days seemed like they did nowadays. And his hand shaking was just a involuntarily reminder of how little Merlin control his own life. He couldn't control his hand…couldn't control his life…couldn't even get a letter sent before things ended for him…for all Merlin knew this wasn't even going to work anyway. How did Merlin know that King Uther hadn't warned the Mail carriers all about him and what he might attempt to do one of these days…was his letter going to end up overturned straight to the king? If that did happen, Merlin was sure Uther would at least be pleased with the fake contents he had wrote, clinging onto the script he had been given with hands that felt as if they would have belonged to a different man. Because this wasn't him, these shaking hands…Merlin had never felt so out of control of his own life, that it would manifest as a physical sign. But Merlin supposed it was only a matter of time before it happened, at least his magic wasn't trying to lash out this time. Perhaps a rumor like this was just the last straw, and Merlin could feel as if his life-the very ground he walked on-was crumbling to dust beneath his feet. Leaving him with nothing to stand on top of…and Merlin dug his fingernails deeper into the piece of parchment he held, fearing he might rip it but not caring enough to stop it.

But he didn't seem to have to say anything else, because in a blink, his belongings were gone from his hands. The man on the horse ignored him, opening up the pouch of golden coins to inspect the amount he had in there, counting them out as Merlin watched with an anticipated breath. It did not matter to him how much it cost, the knight could take all of it if he wanted it-which he probably would, as Merlin didn't know what something like this would cost, but it could not be cheap considering how far Ealdor was from the kingdom itself-but Merlin supposed that was how some people-and he could see himself now being included in that group with disdain-were. It was easy to be generous when it was with somebody else's money, Merlin had hoped he could bring back at least one gold coin to return to Gaius, just this little token to say thank you for the trouble's Merlin had caused to him. But it didn't look as if that would happen, as Merlin knew most knights seemed to be the greedy sort. Willing to take whatever they wanted, Merlin would be lucky if Knight Erick would actually do the job. Instead of just taking away his money, kicking him to the side, and throwing his messed up letter off to the side where it would eat dirt until it gotten destroyed by the whether or people themselves…

And speaking of the letter…Merlin's eyes flicked to the side where the knight was carelessly holding it between two of his fingers as he continued counting out the gold. Now, the young consort hadn't exactly been gentle with the paper, he had been carrying it around with him for weeks. Taking it out to read it again and again, imagining some life where he was actually happy…it wasn't even folded properly. It looked as if Merlin had been carrying it around for years, instead of just a few short weeks, resembling a crumbled up ball. He could not see a single edge of the parchment that didn't have any kind of rip in it, looking frail and as if one wrong movement could rip the entire thing in half. Merlin winced, and held his breath as the knight fumbled with it, still counting out all of his golden coins, but the letter seemed to be clinging onto what little it had. But while he was standing there, he could feel the start of this creeping doubt making its way over him as he wondered…should he snatch the letter out of his hand and run back the way he had came from?

Did Merlin really want his mother to read the shit he'd made up on the spot? Did he want her to get excited opening it up for the first time, to smile with relief when she learned that he was okay…and then close it up and continue on with her day as if nothing happened. That cynical piece of his brain seemed to return, the creeping doubt becoming more and more important as he wondered…did his mother even want to hear from him? Did she spend all her days thinking about him as much as he did her…hell, did she even remember she had a son? It had been three months since he had been left in this godforsaken kingdom, and surely three months would not be enough to forget the nineteen years one had with the only person they could call their child. But that cynical part of his mind told him that it was true…he would probably only bring her down just as he always had, it couldn't have been easy to raise a child on her own. Especially with all of these strange…peculiarities that came with raising s child that had the curse Merlin did…his mother was probably off enjoying her best life. Why would she want to hear from her wayward son after all these months…

…Hunith was probably living her best life right about now, as she had nothing else in the world to worry about without her adult son sucking up her resources. Without Merlin being in the house, his mother finally had all the food that she would be able to eat, no longer giving up most of her meager little portion to make sure he had been fed. At least until he was old enough to notice, and insisted she actually eat up all of her share. Without him there, there was no more waking him up in the middle of the night to listen to his mother crying to get herself to sleep. Absolutely terrified with nightmares he knew had never quite gone away…frightful images of men in green who came from the east that would take him away to fill in the ranks of their magical army. And, Merlin supposed, no more nightmares of men in red coming from the west for the sole purpose of killing a sorcerer. Though Merlin could see now…Hunith probably had a deeper reason for fearing the men of Camelot showing up on her doorstep. But there were other reasons as well…Hunith could finally throw out the old barrel behind their house that Merlin used to hide in as a child when strangers were visiting the town-as brief as those random visitors came by-and he was too young to be able to understand the danger of strangers. His mother was also able to finally rip apart the old blanket Merlin would be curled up under near the hearth, she could perhaps make a few towels or rags out of the extra fabric. Or use it to cover herself as added padding to the one she already had when it got particularly cold on winter nights.

The point was…there were a million of different little things that his mother would be able to do now that he was not in the picture any longer. She could finally relax, and realize it was her, that was now safe, without always being forced to think of the sorcerer she was hiding. Nobody would want a single woman living on her own, doing farm work to survive in the harsh climate of their home. Not like they would want the sorcerer, who could make objects fly from the shelves in less than it took to flick his finger. Maybe the best thing that Merlin could do-for both himself and his mother-was to take the letter and rip it up into a thousand pieces. Watch as they all scattered to the winds of time, being lost and separated so far, nobody would ever be able to piece back together all of the lies that he had written down. It would be best…if only he just…Merlin hesitated while he eyed the letter that Knight Erick held clasped within his grasp.

It wasn't as if it would be too hard to grab, the knight wasn't even trying to hold it out of his reach. The knight was tall on his horse, yes, but not so tall that Merlin wouldn't be able to grab it and make a run for it. Which he-with the frazzled and uncertain state of his mind-would have most certainly done, instead of just calmly explaining he had changed his mind to do this, and take back his letter and money. The letter would have been easy to get rid of, he could even thrown it into his hearth that warmed Gaius' entire chambers-that was barely noticeable and carefully contained to make sure the fire was not able to get out and burn his entire book collection to the ground, all of the books older and more dry then the last, to make it the perfect kindling-and never think of it again. The consort could give Gaius back his gold, and apologize to his uncle for being selfish enough to have taken any of the gold in the first place. And he could go back to doing what it was he did best…waiting around until Arthur finally had need for him. Or, you know…wait around until Arthur finally managed to track him down and burn him for these lies being spread about him…

But still…Merlin hesitated, and he didn't even know why he was. It was such a good idea in his head, one he wanted to act out so intently that his fingers were itching for him to go ahead and do it. But then again, Merlin had also thought the whole thing to begin with had been a good idea. He had ran here as fast as he could-to not only escape the pains Merlin was intimately aware of, that came with being directly inside of the castle at the moment-just to deliver this stupid letter. And yet, now Merlin was regretting it. He did that a lot, the consort had noticed about himself. Doing things in the heat of the moment, and then looking back and realizing just how stupid he had been to do them at all. And what was the boy doing now…Merlin was doing the exact same thing. Whose to say Merlin wouldn't get back to Gaius' chambers, before throwing the letter into the hearth, and then regretting that action almost immediately. As he watched the parchment as it started to crumble at the edges, blackening until it looked to be just as dark as Merlin sometimes felt his very soul was now.

Merlin knew there was no chance he would have been able to stomach writing that letter for a second time. And then going the extra mile to return to Knight Erick's side, before once again asking him to deliver his letter to his mother all the way in Ealdor. If Merlin was going to end up at the exact same place he was now, then…what would his reason have been for doing any of it in the first place? Merlin may as well just cut out the middle part, stand here like the docile pet he was, and hope that Knight Erick would accept doing his one and only proposal. But Knight Erick hadn't yet to give him an indication on rather he would accept it, or spit in his face for being stupid enough to ask. And Merlin could see the knight was starting to get to the end of the bag, could see that the knight was counting the coins out slowly-so slowly-and the knight was mouthing the numbers of the coins as he would go through them. Merlin was getting anxious, and the pent up frustration started to build, his blue eyes darting in either direction to try and make the time go by faster…he started to tap his foot along the ground even though he knew there was nothing better in life then a silent consort. But out of all the things Merlin was able to do…keeping still would never be one of them.

Which would be another reason for Arthur to want to be rid of him-as if the prince didn't have some list that was a mile long full of Merlin's faults, etched somewhere along inside of his skull-as reasons to be rid of him. Merlin tapped one of his feet harder against the ground, and he brought a hand up to scratch anxiously along the inside of his elbow, while getting dangerously close to the fingernail like scars etched on the inside of his wrist. Merlin kept glancing around back and forth, trying to keep his breathing steady…everywhere he looked was too bright, and too open. Too many people out and about, too many watching him with looks of smirks-as if they were cocky about what they thought they knew-or looks of disdain-as if they would be happy to be the one to take him out on Arthur's behalf, just as Gaius had tried to do his best to warn him about. Threats could literally be found absolutely everywhere-even in a dainty old lady, Merlin was able to recall the one time that an elderly lady came across his path in the courtyard. Merlin had offered to help her get up the stairs, and she had smacked him in the kneecap with her cane for his troubles-and with all these rumors he knew were brimming in the background…only made his paranoia grow worse. Until something inside of him finally seemed to snap, and reach his breaking point…

"Well, are you going to send my letter or not!" Merlin could feel himself nearly exploding, as he watched the man being careful enough to slide the coins back into the pouch. And that was probably quite the stupid mistake to make, as the knight glared down at him. It took too long for Merlin to even notice, too busy glancing around and imagining the worse of things happening. Perhaps somebody would jump him, and try to wrap their meaty hands around his throat so that they could choke the life out of him. Just as Gaius had warned to him…people getting all worked up over these lies…he could almost feel each of the fingertips pressing along the skin he called his throat, forcing dragged and ragged breaths out of his throat as he struggled to breath. Hearing the screams of the crowd around them gathering into a circle-screams that were filled with excitement and encouragement for the one man brave enough to attack Camelot's most Unwanted-as he fought for his life against a man that was probably much larger and stronger then he himself was…was it really seen as paranoia if Merlin 'knew' that everybody really was out to get him…? Merlin supposed he could use his magic if things got too hairy, but…it was hard for Merlin to think logically in the manic state he was in. Which was why it took him far too long to notice the knight glaring at him, and Merlin could've nearly swallowed his tongue because of how hard he gulped in air, "I mean…will you…I hope that this gold is enough that it will satisfy you, and have you do as I requested…"

The words sounded stupid as they came off from his tongue but Merlin had to remind himself…sometimes there were just things he didn't want to do, but needed to be done. Like him trying to make friends with the one knight that could've put him back in contact with his mother. If things turned out the way he had originally wanted them too, then perhaps Merlin would even be able to send out more! More lies, but…Merlin would send every lie he could muster with a smile across his face, as long as his mother never worried about him. But of course…only if she remembered him…but anyway, trying to make friends with the knight-which had never worked when it was another, so why would it work now?-did nothing, and Merlin still found his attention shooting back to look over at the random people passing them by. His attention being just a bit more focused, a bit more weary, tunnel vision one may want to call it, as he tried to look for one specific target. The one man that could cause Merlin to turn tail and run as fast as he could to get away, forgoing what little dignify he might have in favor of buying himself a little more time.

Now don't get Merlin wrong. While he had been standing in this one spot, he had seen plenty of people that would make his heart leap into his throat before he realized there was no cause for concern. Not yet at least…Merlin had seen several men with blond hair walk by him. And yet, there was no man he saw who carried the same shade of golden blond that he knew Arthur's to be. No hair style cut so perfectly, that it fell right before getting into his eyes. Merlin would see the flash of blue on a person's face-even several times when he later realized it was a woman-before realizing that the blue eyes were not only a different shade, but also attached to a face he knew was the one he was not looking for. He would see a body that might vaguely remember Arthur out the corner of his eye-the broad shoulder physique-that would only end up belonging to a peasant who'd spent his entire life working in hard labor. It would make him want to flinch away, as he was half expecting to be grabbed by the scruff of his neck by a random hand that came from nowhere…it was this hard life, Merlin thought as he tucked his arms closer into himself so it would be harder for him to grab if Arthur would manage to sneak up on him.

Merlin was almost always on his guard. It was becoming this second nature to him, to always be looking behind him, and over his shoulder for any threats. Not just from the blond he did not want to name, but from strangers who wanted to be the one to deliver his head to Arthur on a silver platter. With everything he had endured over these past three months, it wasn't too hard to see why his mental stability was reaching the end of his tether. Merlin was surprised he had lasted for this long…and his eyes scanned over the people passing by once again, paranoia spiking his fear every time he saw one hint of red, absolutely positive that it would be the dark red leather coat Arthur had been wearing when he had yelled at him the last time. For daring to speak out of turn when King Bayard tried to talk to him…but seeing that it was nothing to indicate Arthur was coming for him, he finally turned back to Knight Erick.

And he did not like what he saw, his mouth drying up faster then Ealdor had ever gotten during one of their hotter days in the summer.

"Well, I don't think that the money is quite the amount that I would go for, given that this…Ealvor…is so far out of a route that I usually take when I travel into Cenred's realm." Spoke up the man, carelessly rolling the bag of gold in one hand as he used his thumb to rub sensual circles around the edge of the letter Merlin had given him. Merlin almost felt sick, when he saw the way the guy was looking at him, scanning him up and down with a vaguely curious expression on his face. He …his look kind of reminded Merlin of the way Valiant took to looking at him, just before the man had followed him up into the Royal Wing, where he had slept back then. Merlin could feel his sense suddenly going into high alert, his spine going taunt and straight as he realized the threat…might be more in front of him, then anything else. He practically tuned out the rest of the world….Gaius wouldn't have sent him to any man that was dangerous…right? But then again, it was also very likely that Gaius didn't know. Merlin was sure the man had never looked at the court physician the way he was now looking at him…as if Merlin was a meal and he was found he was interested enough to sample a taste. But a taste from what…Merlin wasn't even sure. And that made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end…he wanted to, for once, use his title to get the servants-perhaps somebody that was not going to roll their eyes and scoff at him-to bring him the tub he had used for his wedding bath. And get himself clean properly with steaming hot bath water, in the hopes that the cleansing water would burn away the stare left behind like a brand on his skin. And Merlin stiffened more when the man leaned forward off his horse, to get closer to Merlin's face to talk to him, still looking up and down his body like some kind of freak, "But you know, perhaps we could discuss a method of payment to make up for the rest somewhere in…private. I can take you to my home, perhaps we can see what it is that made the prince's head turn to you in the first place?"

Merlin took a moment to run that through his mind, trying to figure out what Knight Erick was talking about. He wanted to take their dealing's…somewhere else? Merlin couldn't even begin to mourn the loss at knowing Gaius hadn't given him enough, perhaps the man's prices had gone up. But the last part was what got to him…why did the man have to bring up his marriage to Arthur. Unless…there really was some kind of rule nobody had bothered to tell Merlin about-as always-that he wasn't allowed to contact the outside world. But the things the knight was saying, the way he was looking down at him…it made Merlin feel as if he was trying to see through his shirt or something. None of this was making sense, but…Merlin knew one thing for sure. He would slit the man's own throat, and then his own, before going anywhere that would be out of the public's eye. The public probably wasn't going to help him exactly, if things turned nasty, but…Merlin would feel far safer then he would be alone…

And then Knight Erick was reaching out, trying to lay one of his slimy hands on Merlin's arm-to pull him up onto the back of his horse? Or to continue chatting him up more-the dark haired boy would never find out. As he jerked himself away before one finger was able to grace his arm, and Merlin had his mouth dropping open in horror as the realization started to draw on him, taking a large step back to get more space in between them. The weird way the knight was talking…the way he had casually brought Arthur into their conversation…the way he was looking at him…the danger signs that told Merlin to cut his losses and leave, while never looking back at the man on his horse. The reason Merlin wanted to take a hot bath to get rid of it all, when Merlin had not shown one interest in personal grooming during this last month…it was all making since to him. And Merlin felt his stomach when it lurched at the mere thought of what this man wanted to do with him…

He wanted a date.

Knight Erick wanted to go on a date with him, that was why he was trying to get Merlin to go somewhere that was more private. Because dates were a private affair, that should be only including the two people involved with it. It was why he was not looking at Merlin's lips-like Valiant had been prone to doing-and yet, Merlin was still getting danger signs from the man. Erick was looking at all of him, but that seemed to be only because the knight was trying to find any traits that Arthur might have found appealing enough to marry him for-physical traits. Only Erick wouldn't find any, because Merlin knew he wasn't much to look at. Too awkward, with ears far too big for his head…but there was also something about an encounter like this that made Merlin realize something that was even more horrifying to him, then being asked out by a knight that knew he was a married man.

The knight was only asking him out now, because he'd been hearing the rumors going off about Merlin. Merlin seriously doubted the knight would have asked him out at all, if these rumors weren't telling him it was okay to do so. If the rumor wasn't telling him that Merlin was willing to go out with any other person, despite being married. Merlin whipped around his head, and looked at the next group of people that were passing them by, and he saw several members starting to smirk when they saw him looking. Merlin wanted to almost immediately, put his head back down, bury his head into the sand if he had too. He could feel the crashing waves of this horrible humiliation just washing over him-that was why not everybody was glaring at him with anger for daring to 'cheat on their beloved' prince. Why some of them were smirking at him…did they all think that Merlin would be willing to just accept a date from anybody. To accept a date from the first person that had the nerve to ask him…

How did these people know-if the rumors had been true-he didn't just genuinely 'like' the guy he had been supposedly cheating on Arthur with. How did they not know Merlin was crushing on somebody else, and wanted to see how it was going to go. Something that would have perhaps been the wrong thing to do if he had actually married Arthur for the love they faked for the people. But should've been perfectly acceptable with their arrangement, considering Arthur had already shown him that it was perfectly okay for him to go cheating on Merlin with Clarissa. But…nobody knew about the things that had been happening in the dark. When the people was concerned…it was Arthur that was stuck as the victim, not the other way around. No, they all thought that Merlin didn't care who he went on a date with. They thought he was somebody easy, somebody cheap…who would have done whatever was asked of him, as long as he was able to get some private companionship with a random man he did not know or care for. How…how could people think that the consort had no standards…he blinked rapidly back with his tears brimming in his eyes…how did people think that Merlin would just wonder off with this man and check out whatever it was he had to offer him…but then again, Merlin had been married to Arthur with minimal fighting. So, maybe he really didn't have any standards at all.

And when Merlin turned back around to Knight Erick, he was holding his hand down to him. As if he thought Merlin would grab onto it, allow the strange man to pull him up onto that horse, and ride off into the sunset with him. Merlin might be desperate enough to want to do anything to get away from Arthur, but he wasn't nearly stupid enough to run off with a man he had just met. A man who thought Merlin would date him, as well as apparently half the population of the entire city. Merlin could feel something stirring in his chest, it was something he had been too depressed to feel lately, it was an emotion he had probably never felt before he'd came to this place…pure hatred. Merlin hated this place. With all of the people who thought they knew him, with the people who thought he was cheap and easy and willing to run off with man after man. With the dozens of marketplace stall and not one of them that wanted anything but the thousands of gold coins they thought he possessed. With the streets filled all the way to the brim with people who spent more time trying to gossip then they actually did working. Not like it had been in Ealdor, where people were too exhausted from working in the fields all day to do much else. He Hated Them. And the consort hated Knight Erick most of all, for trying to attract attention to them. For trying to date him, with what he had to think was a charming smirk, but only made Merlin wish he could punch him. For thinking Merlin-as much as he hated the prince-would agree to anything that even resembled the way a date should be….

"No." Merlin said, surprised by himself with how rough and firm his voice had came out. When was the last time Merlin was so sure of himself, so positive that nothing in the entire world was going to change his mind. He would NOT go any place with this man. Not now, not tomorrow, not…ever. The knight seemed just as surprise by Merlin's refusal, when he dropped his hand back down to grab onto the rein attached to the horse's head. But then he looked amused, as if Erick had decided Merlin's refusal of him was something 'cute' or perhaps, because he thought Merlin was only refusing him now because the rumors had meant he had been caught at doing it once already. And Merlin was trying to save face or deny them ever happening by turning him down…whatever the reason for Erick's amusement, Merlin could feel his face starting to turn red. Not with embarrassment, but with this horrid anger stirring up inside of him, the kind that felt as if his blood was literally boiling beneath his veins. Merlin was not going to be silenced by this Knight. After all, the knight was definitely no Arthur Pendragon. Even though he didn't really need to add on to his earlier 'no', Merlin was on a roll now, and he didn't want to see it end. To go back to the little meek thing he'd became, "I don't think I want to do a thing with you, ever."

The knight's amusement dropped in an instant, sensing the seriousness of Merlin's words. It was only a few short words but Merlin could feel his shoulders strengthening up with a strength he thought he no longer possessed. He was feeling pretty darn proud of himself, putting up boundaries that the prince had always trampled over. He might be stuck with the prince, and he might be stuck with the abuse of everybody in this kingdom, but…Knight Erick was only one man. And he could do this…he could stand up for himself. If there would ever be anything for Merlin to stand up for himself for…then it would have to be this. He wouldn't be seen as cheap, and he wouldn't be known as the 'easy guy' who went around on dates as if they were going out of style…so yeah, Merlin was feeling pretty proud of himself in this moment. And he was ready to do the one thing he had done to Arthur when they had first met…he was going to walk away, the victor and the man who held onto the last word.

Merlin was so proud of himself, that he never noticed when there was this sudden shift in the air, a changing of the wind so to speak. How the people around them grew quiet, it was the kind of quiet where one could have heard a pin drop, not something easily heard on a usually busy street. The people were looking at something behind Merlin, some craning over their heads in an attempt to see better, but Merlin only had eyes for the man he had triumphed over. And Merlin took in a breath of the crisp late afternoon air, a leaf flying pass him on the wind…never noticing when the people standing right behind him had started to part without a word, letting a man walk through the walkway they had created. Merlin would've never noticed the crackle of electricity that seemed to have started thriving in the air, the ire of the man so palpable that the very air around them seemed to have been brought right to life, trying to warn Merlin of a newfound danger that was about to make itself known…if said danger hadn't started to yell at him.

"MERLIN PENDRAGON!" The roar loud and sharp enough to scare away even the few small birds hanging around on top of the nearby stalls.

In an instant, whatever strength Merlin had gained from his encounter with Knight Erick, drained out of him so violently, that Merlin almost felt sick from it. Merlin would've known of that voice anywhere, knew it better then he knew his name-which had just been screamed fully, so loud that the entire street could hear it from miles away. Could hear the anger in it…and Merlin was nearly shaking in his boots, not wanting to look back. After realizing that people thought he was an 'easy' fellow, Merlin had almost forgotten a far bigger issue he had…Merlin had known that his encounter with the blond was going to be bad, but he had seriously underestimated just how bad it was going to be. Already, he could taste the killer intent hanging in the air, and it left Merlin wondering how in the world he had not noticed before this very second when his name was once again slung through the air. Sharp, as if it was the crack of a whip trying to strike harshly along his back…

"MERLIN PENDRAGON!" And Merlin cringed as he heard the voice louder, the crunching of the stones behind him made it clear that Arthur was coming closer, and the consort was reacting on the defensive, shrinking his shoulders as far into himself as he was able to, hunching his back in an attempt to make himself feel smaller. Why…why did Arthur go so far as to yell his full name like that, reminding Merlin again and again that he was a member of the Pendragon Dynasty…and Merlin wanted to scream that he was no 'Pendragon'. But as his voice twitched, not a word came out of him…how was it even possible for Arthur to be able to cause this strong of a reaction out of him, when he had been feeling so strong just moments before. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING RIGHT NOW!"

Merlin nearly had whiplash, when he stepped away from the night and turned his head to look behind him-for a second, he could have sworn Arthur wasn't here about the whole 'I am dating half the kingdom apparently' as the rumor grew to become, but rather about the letter. Was Arthur here to curse him out over the letter, was he going to be punished for trying to send his mother word that he was okay?-and…there Arthur was. The air was heavy and stale, not a single person dared to speak up, and whatever color Merlin had in his face seemed to drain as Arthur stormed up to him. That prince of his…Merlin had never seen him so angry. All those other times Arthur had been yelling at him, all those times in which Arthur had held him down or shouted in his face, and all those times Arthur had told him how wrong or how much of a horror he was at everything he did…none of them would have been able to compare to the look on Arthur's face right now. The blond's eyes were vivid and sharp, and Merlin was able to feel trapped within them, like one would have been if they were staring into the hypnotic gaze of a serpent. One that was prepared to strike, injecting venom in his veins, the consort could almost feel the icy cold embrace of the would be poison flooding him as he stared up at those imploding eyes.

"I cannot believe this…out of everything…everything I have done for you, everything that I have offered you…and I find you here. Out of all the places in this kingdom, and you are here…" Arthur nearly ripped into him, the expression of pure thunder being the only thing Merlin was able to see after he was descended on by the prince. Arthur only stopping when they were toe boot to toe boot, and Merlin tried to scramble back in his attempts to escape, but he soon realized he had nowhere to go. Backing up straight into the horse, and the horse neighed loudly, moving back and forth until it's rider calmed him down with a hand to it's neck. Merlin had barely noticed, because Arthur was hardly done with him, "Do you think you are particularly cleaver? Do you think I would not ever figure it out? Are you…are you happy to have made this fool out of me!"

Merlin's knees started to shake violently, so hard that they were knocking together, and the horse was still at his back with the knight watching, and Arthur was in front of him and trapping him in…Merlin's eyes flickered away from the blond haired prince, but Arthur growled at him sharply, apparently not liking Merlin averting his gaze. And Merlin's eyes shot to the prince, knowing he needed to get this over with, but not wanting to do it at all…and Merlin caught Arthur's eyes. Only for a moment though, because Arthur was averting his gaze as well. At first, Merlin thought this was because Arthur was also trying to hide from him. Perhaps this anger was all part of the little show the royal family wanted to continue for the people. They could hardly be in love, and not have a fight of betrayal if one was 'caught' with another…but Merlin could see Arthur's eyes shooting up to the knight behind him, the threatening aura surrounding the prince seeming to spike in tandem with the fire in his eyes.

And Merlin's throat closed up as if a noose had just sharply yanked itself around his neck. Had Arthur, had he…was that anger real? Not part of the show for the people or anything, he was genuinely angry? And for a good reason, Merlin was thinking as he remembered what had happened right before Arthur had started yelling at him. The knight had been trying to get him to go out with him. The knight had been grinning at him, and from walking up behind him…could Arthur have thought Merlin was encouraging the man somehow? Had he not seen the way Merlin had yanked away from the man, or did Arthur think Merlin had only done it because they were in public. Did Arthur think as the rest of these people were, that he was just as cheap and as easy as they were saying he was? Merlin wanted to get angry, to be pissed as hell, as what right did Arthur have to judge him if he had wanted to be with somebody else? Was this whole contract that very important to them, that they thought they got to pick all the rules for themselves, but enforce Merlin to follow along with them. How come Arthur got to cheat, and yet, Merlin would be shouted at in public like this…?

But Merlin didn't get angry, whatever flicker of fire he'd got from his encounter with the knight gone as soon as it'd got lit, and Merlin lowered his head, clenching and unclenching his fists to try and control the shaking, as he tried to hide all the tears making their reappearance, "Arthur-" Merlin felt all dry in his throat, and he stopped to wet his lips, noticing the pinched way Arthur held himself, and Merlin stopped all that fidgeting immediately, knowing that Arthur didn't like it at all when he moved about as he did. But he still struggled to try finishing what he was going to say, "I…I don't know exactly what you have heard. But if it's anything like that I've been hearing, it's…I can assure you that it's not try. I didn't…I did not…not with him…" Merlin glanced over his shoulder at the knight, half expecting for the man to jump right in and offer to explain that nothing had been happening. But Erick was watching with a lazy look, leaning over the front of his horse for the show…Merlin was on his own, as always. And so, the consort turned back to Arthur with a new shakiness hanging in his voice, "Or with anybody…or…"

Merlin's stuttering was starting to get out of control, and he did not care rather or not Arthur was only angry because all of this could cause their 'epic love story' to fall apart around them. Or if he was angry because he thought Merlin would have the nerve to do the exact same thing he had done with Clarissa. He just needed to convince Arthur that none of this was true, but yet…Merlin knew it wouldn't work either way…so why did he bother trying. But Merlin couldn't just stand in front of Arthur and say nothing, could he? Even if what little defense he had was weak, it was better then nothing, right? Or it wasn't at all, because Merlin was almost grateful when Arthur returned his hate filled gaze onto him, because that look caused his mouth to snap shut with an audible click of teeth on teeth. Arthur was so close that Merlin could see all these little red veins along the white's of Arthur's eyes, and they betrayed just how angry he was. Merlin should just be smart and stay quiet, he shouldn't do anything as it wouldn't help his case. He should let Arthur scream at him until there was nothing left to scream. Be this docile pet, who only had one job. And that was to hold himself together, until he was somewhere more secure where he could have yet another breakdown. But could Merlin hold out for that long, or would he have one right here in the street, the noose tightening it's grasp around his throat as if he was currently being strung up a tree to be hanged properly….Arthur was looking at him as if he was a bug, that deserved to be squashed under his foot. This was hardly the first time Arthur had looked at him like this, but it was the first time Merlin had felt so small and helpless…powerless…to do anything…

"Shut up!" Arthur hissed darkly at Merlin, feeling what little self control he was managing to hold onto, start ripping to pieces with each word Merlin spoke as he tried to defend himself. But Arthur wasn't going to fall for the little innocent act that Merlin thought he could put on so cleverly. This was probably exactly what Morris had meant when the servant had tried to warn him, that the first thing Merlin would have done was tried to lie his way out. But Arthur had seen him being way too close to the knight before Merlin had seen him, had seen more then he had wanted to as the knight had flirted with his consort. And Arthur's eyes snapped up to look at the knight in question, not knowing who this man was. It's not as if Arthur could know every knight within his kingdom, especially the older ones who hadn't had to pass through his training sessions. Arthur felt his jaw clench up with hatred, his fists going tight, "Is this him? Is that really the man you've been shacking up with this entire time?"

Arthur's voice was loud, doing nothing to hide the fight they were having from the on-lookers who were starting to share almost gleeful looks at being able to witness Merlin getting ripped into by Arthur. But Arthur didn't care, didn't even try to look down his nose at the consort. His attention would be sorely on the knight, looking him up and down, and trying to figure out…what was so great about this knight? He did not look as if he was anything special, and Arthur found he was completely confident…if he and the knight ended up getting into a sword fight in the middle of the city, Arthur knew that he would be able to take him down. Rather or not he had his sword actually on him, it wouldn't be too hard to disarm the other knight. But honestly…Arthur couldn't see why Merlin would want…that. Arthur could feel a tight pressure growing in his chest as his anger surged. How could Merlin risk it all, how could Merlin throw away all of the gold Arthur had tried offering him, all of the opportunities he was given to make a man out of himself, all the power at his disappear…for a man like the one in front of him. What could this man have given to Merlin that Arthur had overlooked. Because whatever that was, Arthur was absolutely positive that he could give it-and a better version of whatever it was-to Merlin within a single heartbeat.

But the time for gift giving was over, and Arthur was almost irrational at this point, wanting to just shove the first thing he could get his hands on, up this knight's arsehole. What had this man thought he was doing, getting all personal with his consort…Arthur felt the blood underneath his skin when it started to boil. Had this knight seen things about his little moron that Arthur had not? Had he witnessed the way that absolute IDIOT was always chewing on his lips. Had he seen other things that Arthur himself would have had no chance in witnessing. Had this knight slid his arms around Merlin's waist and tugged him into a close embrace? Had he slid his hands up Merlin's shirt, and felt the soft skin that came with his back, unmarked since Arthur had never managed to put a lash to it. Had this man ran his mouth along Merlin's neck as the boy leaned his head back, his soft mouth opening as he gasped in pleasure, slowing working his way down along his chest so that he could kiss and suckle at Merlin's chest…his nipples, as if he were a women seeking stimulation and pleasure. Had Merlin spread his legs open so that this man could climb in-between them? Had Merlin bucked up, and tried his hardest to rub his pleasure-unable to wait for that man to do it himself, unable to control himself like a decent human being would have-against this man's thigh as he was taking his time to undo the ties holding Merlin's pants up.

Had this man-while Arthur had been working hard not to do it himself-slid his consort's pants down his hips to look at all the sights Arthur had denied himself of. Had the man seen it when Merlin's own cock swelled with pleasure, filling with all the blood from his body and pointing up in the air, begging for the man to do something about it? Had his man went all out, and placed his mouth around it, giving Merlin unknown pleasure that not even Arthur would have been willing to try giving him, if it meant keeping the boy from getting it from a random man off the street. Or was giving Merlin any actual pleasure too 'beneath' this man, and had he simply hitched Merlin's legs over his shoulders so that he could play along the little treasure hidden between Merlin's cheeks to find his own pleasures.

And that was the problem right there, Arthur didn't know what had happened between Merlin and this knight. He did not know what had gone down, where this man had touched his consort, had it just been his hands or had the knight also truly placed his lips on parts of Merlin's body? Not knowing any of this was killing him, he could feel the blood starting to rush and pound its way into his head, as if it was trying to break out of his skull and leak into the rest of his body until he was brain dead. This…Arthur could feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest…this was different from Valiant. When he had tried to do unimaginable things to his consort-that idiot of his had eventually came to him-and confessed what had happened. Arthur had been able to erase the evidence of all his touches with the wine he had scrubbed Merlin down, but that had only been his face. Arthur couldn't soak Merlin into a wine bath to erase this man's touch…and with Valiant, it'd been a clear case of assault. But with this man…if anything he had heard was true, if the way he had seen this knight as he tried to freely touch Merlin before Arthur'd been noticed …it was consensual.

And if it was consensual…which it appeared to be, because of the way Merlin was practically plastered against the leg of the man on the horse…and Arthur growled lowly in the pit of his throat. He wanted to rip that damn leg off with not any help from anything more then his bare hands for touching all up on Merlin. For being near Merlin. For being so completely stupid, that he thought he would go without punishment for laying a claim on Merlin in which not even Arthur had laid a claim on. For marking Merlin in a way that could not ever be removed. For being the first man to…or was this man even the first? After all those times where Merlin had asked him awkward questions that Arthur had skillfully avoided having to answer, all those awkward situations where Arthur could only question rather or not Merlin knew how he sounded…it meant that there was no chance Merlin wouldn't have came to him straight away if somebody-like Valiant-had done one thing to make him feel uncomfortable. Unless Merlin duped him…this entire time…he had only been speculating the very first time those thoughts had crossed his mind when he was in the hall with Morris. But now…now, they seemed to be the most likely answer…and Arthur ground his teeth together so hard, he could almost feel them shaving the tops off.

Merlin had duped him this entire time. He had lied to Arthur right from the beginning, had enough foresight to lie to Leon at the very beginning. So that it would be Leon-not Merlin-who had to explain to Arthur how 'naive' his consort seemed to be. Arthur would not have questioned-and he hadn't-any claims towards this, if it came from a trusted guard. Perhaps Merlin hadn't been sure he was a good enough actor to play naive at the beginning, so he had sent Leon to do that dirty work for him. Had Merlin thought he wouldn't be able to act scared and baffled and horrified on their wedding night, like a blushing virgin whose mother hadn't had enough foresight to inform her what would be happening that night. When the prince would try to remove their pants, so they could finish the consummation of their marriage. But Merlin had been so sure of himself, had gotten so cocky…that his little charade had fallen around him the very second he decided to forget his little act…for this man…

"Shacking…shocking up with…" Merlin's little voice stuttered as it came out, and Arthur shot his eyes straight back to the consort, making Merlin crease his stuttering underneath the prince's glare. Had Arthur just instructed Merlin to not say a bloody word. Who the hell cared if Merlin was simply trying to answer Arthur's 'shacking up' comment, Arthur had been very clear when he told the boy to shut up. Arthur craved to know just how far things had gone with Merlin, how far he'd allowed this man to go when Merlin didn't even want Arthur to kiss him to fool the masses into thinking their love story had been real, but at the same time…Arthur didn't want to hear a word of it. Instead of images flashing in his mind, the kind where Merlin was being assaulted as he cried and tried begging and pushing off a man much bigger then himself to stop himself from being touched…all Arthur could see was a Merlin who had his head thrown back in pleasure. Straddling the hips of a man as he expertly rode him, sliding down and down again and again as something thick slid easily into his loosened, slutty hole. Laughing when he was done with the man, because Arthur wouldn't have ever known that side of him. Not if Merlin had kept himself inside of the confides of his pants. And then Merlin was trying to speak again, "I…do not…please…I don't understand that term. Can't you…can't we not take a moment…and…go someplace else and try to discuss this…please…"

Merlin was literally begging for clemency from Arthur, trying to do whatever it took to survive, even if it meant begging to have Arthur be merciful. Begging for Arthur to truly allow for Merlin to explain things in a way that wasn't broken up, as if he didn't know English. He didn't care if he had to get down on his knees, and roll over onto his belly as if he wasn't any thing more then a mutt. Merlin couldn't even remember the last time he had had said 'please' to Arthur, had he said the word the last time they had fought? In the hall after the man had stopped Merlin from leaving after their first introduction to Bayard. Merlin couldn't remember, the encounter nothing but a hazy blur of Arthur yelling at him, mixing in with all the other times Arthur had yelled at him as if it had only been a one time thing, instead of multiple. And Merlin glanced back and forth around themselves, the stench of the horse Merlin was plastered against heavy in his nose, feeling as if it was trying to smother him….the staring of everybody around the two of them making Merlin want to bury himself in the dirt. It would be something, if he got his magic to lash out, only for the ground to open up and swallow him whole so that Merlin had a chance to escape from this bloody nightmare. Had he ever been embarrassed before-had Erick asking him out on a date been embarrassing-it was nothing compared to what was going on now. People always said that there was no way to die from embarrassment, but Merlin…he thought that this was pretty damn close. Especially when Arthur very well had the actual means to kill him…

"Did I not just tell you to shut up, or are you also incapable of following the simple orders that you are given!" yelled the prince, getting into Merlin's face once again. He watched in satisfaction as Merlin flinched back, falling against the man and his horse. Good, if Merlin was going to behave like the brat Arthur knew him to be, then Arthur was going to treat him as the brat he was. And brats deserved to be punished in the most brutal of ways, deserved to be treated as if they were the irreplaceable person that they were. Because after all, there had never been anybody more deserving to have a lash against his skin then Merlin bloody Pendragon would've been. But Merlin having looked around as he was, would be the cherry on top of the cake. If Merlin was bold enough to talk to his affair partner in public, then why shouldn't they have this fight in public. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Arthur knew that it had been Morris that stroked the flames of his anger. But Merlin…it was Merlin that had lit the flames until they were sky high. And Arthur would not ever allow to have the boy forget it, "Why the hell do you want to go over in private now? Why should we? You wanted my attention, is that not correct? You wanted to get a reaction out of me, so you did all of this. Well look at it, you've finally got it!"

Arthur threw his arms out, watching as Merlin flinched again but the only thing Arthur did was make a big gesture toward the crowd, laughing low and bitter. Almost manic. If the man was in any fit state of mind, he would have recognized how yelling at Merlin like this was the wrong reaction, that it was all going to fall down around them once word reached out to his father. But Arthur wasn't in his right state of mind, and it felt as if something inside of him had loosened. Arthur could not say for sure if Merlin had only done this to get his actual attention, but….that was what Merlin had always done best, was it not? Going out of his way, and doing things that was not the best course of action, just to get Arthur's attention. It would have almost been better if Merlin had only done all of this for his attention, that was something that Arthur was able to fix. If Merlin was desperate enough to fuck one man, then he had succeeded in getting what he wanted. He was never going to allow Merlin his freedom. After tonight ended and Bayard's men had left, Merlin would be getting a leash tighter then anything he had imagined. Forget about making any allowances for Merlin, forget about asking whatever he wanted and going ahead with it. Arthur was the one only in this relationship that was in charge. It was him who was the bloody prince, and it was fucking time for Merlin to get that through his thick head.

Arthur had been kind to him so far, he had been far kinder to the boy then any other prince would have been given they'd been thrown into a very unique situation. But his kindness to the boy had only been thrown back in his face. It would have been less humiliating if Merlin had spit in his face, if he had truly wanted to show Arthur his distaste for him. But for him to have done this…there was clearly no room between them for kindness. Arthur should have bloody ignored how sick it was on their wedding night, and should have fucking thrown Merlin onto the bed anyway. And ravaged him in such a way, no man would ever be able to compete for the title with the consort's eyes. At least then, Arthur could have said he had gotten their first. And this knight had only taken over what he would see as his 'sloppy seconds.' Breathing as hard as he was, Arthur made sure to deliberately step forward and leaned down until his forehead was so close to the boy's, it would have been lucky for a piece of parchment to fit right between them. And Arthur waited impatiently, until Merlin couldn't take the tension between them anymore, and the consort forced his eyes out of the dirt to meet with the red hot anger of Arthur's.

"Is it true?" He demanded, his breath coming out ragged as it fanned out across Merlin's face, imprinting itself upon the consort's skin. Arthur dismissed his earlier command to get Merlin to shut up, he wanted his answers. Needed answers almost more then he needed to have actual breath coming into his lungs. He knew he didn't want to hear it, but Arthur was ready now, for anything. Ready to know if anything they Merlin had told him, if his innocent behavior was really only some kind of ruse. And for what reason, so that Arthur was not going to fuck him on the night of their wedding? Had it all been something that had blown out of hand because of what…Merlin making it up because he was scared to have a man like Arthur ripping apart his virtue? Or had that really been taken long ago, and Merlin thought Arthur was not a man 'worthy enough' of being able to take and please him. Arthur could admit that he didn't know the first thing about pleasing a man sexually, but knowing what the outcome of such a lie would bring…knowing that his pride would be on the line here…Arthur would have learned. Would have been the greatest straight lover a gay man could have possibly asked for, "…Have you really lied to me all this time?"

Arthur searched Merlin's wet eyes for an answer he already felt he knew the answer too. There was no other plausible answer for any of this…other then Merlin had lied to him. If there was one thing in the world that could happen for any man to lose Arthur's trust in them…it was lying to his face. It was even worse, knowing these lies would have gone on for months and months, that Merlin would still be lying to him at this very moment if Arthur hadn't already caught him close to his lover. But Arthur would give Merlin this one chance to show him that he wasn't as dirty as Arthur thought he now was. If Merlin confessed the truth to him, then…he would be still punished, because making Arthur out to be a fool would be the one thing the prince would not allow to slide by him…not this time. Merlin had already gotten away with far more then Arthur would have allowed any other, which was most likely why he was doing these things. Merlin had done gone and got himself comfortable enough to try and test how far he could push Arthur. If Merlin told the truth, perhaps any punishment Arthur could come up with would be lesser then what he wanted to do to the boy.

Because the time for playing games with Merlin was far over and perhaps they had been over for many weeks now, while Arthur had been to blind to see it. All those 'weird things' as Merlin would have called them, resurfaced to Arthur's mind. Only they were a lot more…bloodier, maybe a bit reckless to a beginner. At one point, over a month ago, when Arthur had Merlin hidden behind that stupid pillar as his father and their men discussed the merits of Merlin's deal, Arthur had slid a hand near Merlin's throat, and had the grotesque thought of choking the boy. But he had been angry at the time, and had stopped himself from going through with it. Angry as he was at the boy putting his life-the life Arthur had went overboard trying to protect far too many times already-he figured that there was a good chance he would actually hurt the boy. So he had removed himself from the situation, knowing if there was ever a chance to choke the boy, it would be only when Arthur was in complete control of himself. Where Arthur was able to control the pressure he put on Merlin's throat, where Arthur would know when to much would be 'too much'. But Arthur did not much care about keeping the boy alive right now, why should he continue to protect the boy-even from his own wrath-if he was just gonna go out and do whatever the hell it was he wanted with whoever he wanted.

And now…Arthur wanted to do more then just choke out the boy, his heart pounding roughly in his eardrums urging him to go through with the worse of his thoughts. Arthur wanted to carve his bloody name into the boy's chest, and watch as the blood pooled down his chest and into the concave cave of his belly. To stare down and see the jagged name he was going to scratch into the other boy's chest with one of his many sharpened daggers: ARTHUR PENDRAGON. Forcing the boy to always remember exactly who he belonged to, so he would always remember the incident in which caused the consort to earn the name forever marring his body. Hell, the prince might just be in the mood to go above that, and take Merlin's bloody wedding ring off his finger. Use the fire from the hearth to heat up the metal, and press the red dragon in the metalwork somewhere on Merlin's skin, branding him as if he were cattle. Reminding him he forever belonged to the Pendragon family. It would have to be in this inconspicuous spot though, perhaps somewhere only a lover-or Arthur, the days he was in a mood to check out his handiwork or if the prince just wanted to humiliate Merlin more by making that idiot undress in front of him-would have seen it.

The hipbone would have been Arthur's first choice to place the marking. Merlin would not ever be able to lay with a man if the marking was there. The man would have to place hand on it, if he expected to hold onto Merlin so that he was able to thrust into the boy's slim body. It would be impossible for Merlin to enjoy himself, if the constant stinging from a burn given to him by Arthur, made Merlin think of the prince with each and every thrust. Almost as if Arthur himself was there in the room with him, watching him try to enjoy himself with a stern and steady eye of disapproval, silently telling Merlin he would be in for a world of hurt once the real him knew he was back to his old tricks again. But perhaps, after giving it a moment of thought…the inner thigh would have been a far better place for it. No lover would be able to get near Merlin and his 'secret space' without seeing the burn. With the hip, Merlin could just keep his shirt on to avoid and unpleasant questions from being asked. But it would be impossible for Merlin to hide it, if the brand was somewhere right below his waistband. No man would be able to kneel in between those pale and skinny legs, without Merlin getting the flashback of Arthur kneeling between them, pressing the ring deeply into the flesh. Until Merlin's screams of agonizing pain turned to hoarse cries, until the stench of burnt skin filled both noses, until Merlin's leg spasmed and shook under a relentless grip Arthur would have on his thigh to keep him still.

And only after Arthur assumed the burn was deep enough to scar it's way onto Merlin's flesh for the rest of their days, would he remove the ring. And curl up beside Merlin, cooing into his ears and whispering soothing words about how that awful pain was over now, and Merlin would not ever need to experience it again…as long as the message had sunken it's way into his skull. Merlin would have fallen into these pitiful sobs, but Arthur would only wrap a possessive hand along the burn, igniting a squeal and spasm from Merlin as it hurt like a motherfucker. But Arthur would enjoy it, every sound of a pig's squeal, every drop of blood sliding from the scars Arthur had put on Merlin's chest dripping from his fingers…he would probably spend many nights dragging Merlin back to his room. For the sole purpose of making the boy take his pants off again and again-making him relieve the humiliation for as long as it gave Arthur pleasure, so that they could lay in the bed together. If only because it would have been the comfortable spot to lay, while Arthur slowly traced his finger over the brand on Merlin's inner thigh, to remind them both of Arthur's ownership. Igniting yet another night of Merlin's body shaking under his touch, his pitiful cries echoing into their ears if the burn was still fresh enough to be positively aching.

Arthur wouldn't stop though, the prince realized as he made sure to watch Merlin's eyes flicker to and from his own, and obviously trying to determine if he would be yelled at once again for answering Arthur's question. Arthur could feel the sensation of something solidifying in his chest, just a certain something that the prince hadn't realized was missing from his life all this time, clicking into place. Yes…the time for the prince's kindness was over. Arthur could feel his shoulders as they steadied, his breathing slowing as he turned serious with knowing…punishment would be for Merlin's own good. It had been…wrong of him…to have let Merlin go for so long with not having his wrongdoing's be punished proper. This, the prince convinced himself, would be better for Merlin in the long run. If he had a permanent reminder on his skin of what happened if he ever crossed Arthur. Arthur's one and only regret was that it was not something he would be able to do now, during the heat of the moment…things needed to be prepared if he was going to do something to Merlin. The prince didn't have any proper equipment on hand…yes, this was the first step Arthur would have to do. Get some proper equipment sent up to his room, things that could be used to punish Merlin on a frequent basis…Arthur's room would end up being Merlin's worse nightmare. As the prince forced the consort into doing whatever Arthur needed him too…Merlin had awoken the beast within Arthur. And Arthur's bloodlust would only be satisfied with Merlin's…dropping out onto the prince's bedsheets, staining the fabric as a further reminder of their time together…

And Arthur watched as Merlin's little tongue-perhaps Arthur should cut it off, or would permanently disfiguring the boy in such a way not so easily hidden by clothing, going one step too far? Oh well, it was Arthur's prerogative to what the two of them were going to do next-shot out of the cave that was his mouth and licked a quick swipe against his dry lips. The action made Arthur's jaw clench-Merlin's lover had to have most definitely seen Merlin doing it-but before Arthur could shoot out his hand and capture the pink muscle in-between two fingers. Before Arthur could drag it out further then the muscle would usually be able to grow, to watch Merlin while he struggled to swallow, stuttering incomprehensible words as he tried to free his tongue, the pink muscle was already disappearing into the cave that was his mouth. And Merlin was answering him…

"…No…" Merlin said shakily, his lungs once again not able to expand properly and give him the oxygen needed to keep on going, making him feel dizzy as black spots started to show up in the corners of his eyes. Merlin lowered his eyes down to the ground, squeezing them so tightly, that a single tear managed to leak out. The light from the sun lowering in the sky as day started to turn to dusk, causing the wet trail on Merlin's cheek to glimmer with a multicolored reflection…he had to lie, the consort knew. Arthur had asked him if he had lied to him all this time…and Merlin had been. About who he was, about his magic, about how he constantly got himself involved in things that wouldn't have otherwise concerned him. Merlin knew it wasn't what Arthur meant when he had asked the question, but…it was the question that Merlin had answered, nonetheless. Merlin forced himself to blink open his eyes, bringing them back up to meet with Arthur's, "I've never lied to you."

Merlin would realize a second later that he had made a very grave mistake for looking away from Arthur when he'd been answering his question. For you see, Arthur had practically spent his entire lifetime studying different techniques. When it came to interrogation, or torture, or working the truth out of a man without having to lift a finger…Arthur knew how to determine what technique would work depending upon the situation he was in. And with those lessons, also came with Arthur learning how to detect when a man was lying to him. And looking away from him as Merlin had done…the consort might as well have just signed his death warrant. Arthur was not ever going to believe another word Merlin had said, that boy-not realizing the two of them were talking about two far different things-had just admitted that he had lied to Arthur about his virtue. Had just admitted that he had lied, and had been the cause and effect reason for Arthur to lie to his own father about their consummation. Had caused an unknown amount of stress upon Arthur's shoulders to hide that they didn't do it. To force Gaius into a deal, so he would forge the paperwork needed to make Uther think Arthur had taken the boy up the arse, and marked them as husbands forevermore till death did them part. And all of it, every other little thing it had been a direct cause of, that Arthur couldn't think of that moment…had been for nothing.

Arthur had even sworn to give Merlin 'the talk' for crying out loud! And this entire time…Merlin had been doing far worse things then the simple and quick explanation Arthur would have eventually tried getting away with. The prince's eyes were sharp, the fading light of the sky causing them to start shining and glinting with hidden intent…dangerous intent. It caused Merlin to gulp, but there was nothing he could do as Arthur's voice came out, rough and guttural, betrayed and destroyed all at once…not yelling but deceptively calm.

"You. Fucking. Liar."