Chapter 14: Get Off My Sister!
"Oi, Lu! – Reckon you still want to get a bit of Quidditch practice in?"
Ron poked his head into the sitting room of the Burrow at the tail end of his question, to find Luna Lovegood sprawled on Neville Longbottom's lap, as the couple snogged furiously on the couch. One of Neville's large and calloused hands was up Luna's skirt, fondling her knickers, while the other squeezed and cupped the swell of her breast through her blouse. From the way the pair were kissing, it appeared as though Neville was trying to remove Luna's tonsils using nothing but his tongue. In any case, it was hard to tell whose lips were whose.
Luna came up out of the kiss for air as though she was coming up from the bottom of a dream. Her silvery eyes were glazed over; she appeared more dazed than normal.
"Hmm? …. Oh, yes, Ronald, of course!" The beautiful Ravenclaw rose languidly off Neville's lap, leaving the poor bloke stunned nearly to the point of giddiness, and clearly aroused enough to beg for more. Yet Luna turned and followed Ron out of the sitting room; the redhead couldn't be sure, but he thought he noticed her swaying her hips and bum quite deliberately as she flounced out into the Burrow's front garden, matching Ron step for step.
It was a balmy summer evening in middle-to-late August. There was a white-tented marquee set up in the front lawn of the Weasley property, which Ron and Luna had to skirt to reach the apple orchard just beyond. The nuptials of Percy Weasley and Miss Audrey Sprayberry were only a few days away.
Ron recalled being bemused when Luna had approached him some weeks ago and asked him if he might help her prepare for the Quidditch tryouts at Hogwarts this coming term. More to the point, he had felt quite flattered, that the Ravenclaw bird would ask him over Harry or even his own sister. Yet he also was confused – personally, he thought Luna had a perfectly good role in promoting Quidditch around the school and that had been as the caller of the matches, and the best in such a position since Lee Jordan, in his opinion.
Regardless of Luna's reasons for wanting to try out for the team, Ron most of all felt relief – after being banned along with most other school activities during the Death Eater occupation last term, Quidditch's resurgence was a sign that Hogwarts was going to get back to feeling like Hogwarts again. Yet another sign that there was to be a return to normalcy had arrived by owl post a couple of days ago, addressed to his best girl. In spite of her parents, particularly her father's hesitance to let her spend time with Ron and his family, Hermione was somehow managing to split time between here and Hampstead just enough that half her mail was being forwarded to the Weasley abode. And in this latest batch, his lover had received a pleasant surprise: despite being absent for all of last term, she had nonetheless been made Head Girl. Ron had rewarded his girl with a long kiss in congratulations for, against all odds, fulfilling a lifelong dream.
Arriving in the apple orchard where he, his siblings and his friends had played Quidditch in happier times, Ron selected an apple from one of the branches. While not an exact equivalent size to any of the balls in Quidditch, he decided to make this apple the Snitch. From a blade of grass, he transfigured a Quaffle.
"I can transfigure something into a Bludger, if you're interested in going out for Beater."
Luna shook her head. "I prefer violence only for defense, never for attack."
Considering that she clearly spoke from a place of experience helping both her best mate and her lover in defending the school from Death Eaters, Ron thought the Ravenclaw's approach to violence prudent. He had never really envisioned Luna Lovegood, of all people, as being Beater material anyway.
"Let's start small, and take each of the remaining three positions one at a time: Keeper, Chaser and Seeker. You will probably be nervous at the try-outs – I sure bloody was. And that's OK. Which position would you like to practice first?"
They started with Luna acting as Keeper, hovering on her broom between two winding tree branches that extended out in a rough approximation of Quidditch goalposts. Ron then charmed the Quaffle he had transfigured to move through the air by itself, giving Luna opportunities to block, while he gave Luna pointers from the sidelines. Then, he and Luna did a little roleplaying, with Luna acting as Chaser and Ron now astride his trusty Cleansweep Eleven, reprising his old role as Keeper.
Practicing Seeking was the hardest of all, and it seemed to Ron that this was the position that Luna was least comfortable in. But he charmed the apple anyway, manipulating to rocket through the purpling light of sunset at high speeds.
By the time the friends gently began their descent back to earth, it was almost too dark to see their hands in front of their faces.
"I hope Neville's waiting up… I promised to fly him back to my place…" Luna was prattling.
"Lu…..?" Ron asked. "It may not be my business, but... are you and Neville having sex?"
There was a beat before Luna nodded.
Ron wasn't a prude – far from it. But he had been with Hermione long enough to let her be the careful one for the both of them, and her practicality when it came to intercourse had rubbed off on him. He also knew from his parents just how easily someone could get pregnant if not careful. Feeling for Luna the way he would a sister, Ron counseled her the way he would caution Ginny. "You and Neville don't want to end up in a situation where you are having a child too young. Take it from me – with me and Hermione, I…. What…..?"
Something had suddenly caught Ron's attention from over Luna's shoulder, in the distance up on the second floor level of his house. Shifting his descending broom past her, the redhead's voice pitched in volume and inflection. "No… What are you doing?!" His face sharply collapsed in rage as Luna could only watch in horror. "GET OFF MY SISTER!"
"Potter?! POTTER!"
Ron hurled his weight at the door of his baby sister's bedroom, only to find that the chain latch was in place, blocking his entrance. Through the slit in the doorway, he watched as Harry and Ginny sat up, both gawping at being caught in the middle of a hearty shag.
"Potter! – I saw what you were doing through the window! I saw what you doing with my sister, now GET OUT HERE!" Ron looked quite demented and desperate.
Harry scrambled to his feet and nervously zipped up his pants. "Well," he huffed awkwardly, nerves frayed. "We had a jolly good run – what was it, four, five months? That's more than most folks have in a lifetime, so goodbye, take care, bye bye now!"
He kissed Ginny square on the lips, causing her to smile bemusedly as she watched him lunge for the window. "What are you doing?"
"Oh, I'm going on the lam!"
Ginny raised an eyebrow. "You were going to leap out my window…. without magic?"
Harry flushed guiltily; behind them, Ron howled and tried to claw a hand through the door to get at unscrewing the latch. "Yes."
She took his hand. "Come on, Harry…. I can handle Ron…. Hold on!" she called to her brother, needing to slap his hand away before she could undo the deadbolt latch and open the door fully. "Hey, Ron, what's up, bro?"
Her nonchalant tone didn't make a dent in her big brother's rage. Ron started to make a furious move towards Harry, forcing the Chosen One to cower behind Ginny as if he hadn't just defeated the darkest wizard of all time.
"What…. the bloody HELL…. are you DOING?!"
Neville, Luna and Hermione all came running. "Hey, wait, what's going on?"
"Well, I think…. I think…. Ron knows about me and Ginny?" Harry told Hermione.
Neville winced. "Mate…. He's right there!..."
"I thought you were my best mate! This is my sister! You ditched her! You told me, last summer, that you ditched her! What are you doing here, messing her around? My best mate and my sister – I…. I cannot believe this!"
"Look, we're not just messing around!" Harry defended hotly. "I love her! OK? I'm in love with her!"
This declaration made Ron take pause. Ginny took his hand gently.
"I'm so sorry you had to find out this way… but it's true, we're back together and I….. I love him too…."
A beat as Ron considered this, the others watching him apprehensively. Then the redhead's entire demeanor seemed to change, as though someone had flipped a switch.
"My best mate and my sister!... I cannot believe this!"
Harry chuckled nervously and allowed Ron to embrace them both.
"You…. you guys might wanna get in here, huh? Big news!"
Hermione smiled tightly at her boyfriend. "Nah, that's OK, we've actually known for a while…."
"Wait, what?" Ron blinked. Hermione, Neville and Luna all nervously backed away, nearly into the doorjamb. "You bloody knew?! You lot all knew and you didn't tell me?!"
"Well, Ron….. love, we were worried about you! We didn't know how you were going to react!" Hermione chided her lover gently.
Yet another pregnant pause. "You were worried about me?" Ron smiled, laughing. "You didn't know how I was going to react?..." He hugged her.
"All right…." Neville chuckled tightly. "Lu, what do you say we head on home and let these lovebirds get down to business?"
Ron froze in Hermione's embrace to glare at the DA leader tightly.
"H-hey, I'm just talking here, he's…. he's the one doing your sister!" Neville pointed at Harry.
Ron glared at him. "Longbottom, we can have quite the conversation about who is doing who. But if it's all the same to you, I suggest that you get out. Luna is waiting for you downstairs."
It was almost comical how fast Neville turned and pelted down the stairs.