Heyes stood at the bar of the Silver Dollar, oblivious to what was going round him, as he stared down at his almost untouched glass of beer, without really seeing it. He started when the barman Jake spoke to him. "You know Heyes, people might think my beer ain't worth drinking with the way you're avoiding it." He sounded more amused than annoyed and Heyes looked up at him dragging up a smile before taking a long drink. "Ain't nothing wrong with the beer, Jake, just got things on my mind."

Jake nodded and he said with some sympathy in his tone. "Its kinda odd seeing you here on your own. You sure ain't here for a game or the girls as ya just spent thirty minutes staring at a beer."

Heyes shrugged, finished his beer quickly and indicated he'd have another,he wasn't here to discuss the problems he and the Kid were having, and even if he had wanted to share, he certainly wouldn't choose someone as indiscreet as Jake. Taking the hint, the barman shrugged, nodded and brought him another beer before moving away to the other end of the bar, obviously still curious.

Due to the weather being cold and dreary the saloon was quieter than usual, so Heyes wasn't surprised that Jake was looking for a diversion. But when he could hear the man and the girls talking about him, despite their low tones, he decided that he wasn't going to be providing it, because the unwanted attention was making him feel both conspicuous and irritated. So after finishing his beer, he joined in one of the medium stakes games, and despite his distraction, he still managed to concentrate for a few hands and won more than he lost, but his mood was such that he soon tired of it, and with a smile he excused himself and headed home, far earlier than usual. He shivered in the damp cold air and sighed when he came to the middle of the street. He had looked forward to coming with the Kid to enjoy the brightly shining tree that had been dominating the square since the day before Thanksgiving, but now its glittering cheerful glow, simply seemed to be there to taunt him as he passed it.

Heyes wasn't surprised on his return home, to find that the living area deserted, and the door to the second bedroom shut tight. But there were clear signs that the Kid had only recently retired. The fire though banked was still giving out some heat, and the light on the table by the couch still smelt faintly of smoke, suggesting it had only recently been blown out, which left Heyes with the depressing sense that his partner was hiding from him.

Heyes was weary, but far too keyed up to sleep and besides, a glance at the grandfather clock against the wall confirmed that it was much too early to think about bed, when only sleep was on offer. He found the Mark Twain book that the Kid had bought him about three weeks ago lying by the side of the couch, and trying not to dwell on how quickly things had gone downhill between them, he flopped down and started to read. But it was less than two hours later when after reading the same paragraph four times, Heyes gave up and retired to his depressingly empty bed.

XXX

Because he'd spent most of the night tossing and turning and had only drifted into sleep in the very early hours when his exhaustion had finally proved stronger than his unhappiness, it was late the next morning when Heyes woke to the sound of rain pounding on the roof. He stretched his hand out, sighing as yet again he found empty space and cold undisturbed sheet. Though the Kid hadn't slept in their bed for several nights now, Heyes still found himself reaching out for him every morning on waking, and the disappointment of finding him absent was only growing heavier with each passing day. When months of steady reconnection between them had at last six weeks ago led to an eager resumption of their intimate relationship, Heyes had been certain that six months after his partner's release from prison the progress they'd made in getting their life back together was permanent. He'd even felt confident enough to start making plans that he had intended to share with the Kid when he felt they were polished enough to form the basis of their better future.

So it'd been an unpleasant shock to him when about two weeks ago, the Kid had with no real warning pulled back from him, retreating into long periods of brooding silence and showing no interest in anything beyond staring into space. Heyes' gentle queries about what was bothering him were either ignored, or answered with unhelpful snappy, short tempered replies, and his appetite had reduced to the size it'd been in the early days after his release from prison, worrying Heyes on top of everything else, that he'd quickly lose the weight he'd regained in the last months. The small intermittent meals he was managing were eaten almost under protest, consumed in the same uncomfortable prickly silence that weighed heavy between them throughout the day, which Heyes was certain would quickly explode into something unpleasant at one wrong word from him.

It was needing to escape, after tiring of biting his tongue too many times, but not wanting an argument, that had led to Heyes fleeing into town for a few hours. But it had of course done him little good, because he couldn't run away from the fact that the bright future he'd been planning for was suddenly a long way off.

With no assistance forthcoming from his partner to help him work out what the problem was, and reluctant to push for it, because he was wary of doing irreparable damage to a relationship that was much too important to him to lose, Heyes was reduced to guessing at the reasons, which always left him feeling more vulnerable than he liked. With them no longer sharing a bed, Heyes was even starting to suspect that he was somehow to blame for this backwards step. He knew he would have to ask eventually, but so far he'd not dared, fearing the answer.

Frustration at too many unresolved questions and depressing thoughts crowding in on him, was leaving him far too twitchy to stay in bed, so after a heavy sigh, Heyes moved to sit on the edge, before walking over to the window. He opened the curtains and stared at the grey drizzle, which felt like a reflection of his mood and realised that all he could do at the moment, until he had more information, was accept another day of treading on eggshells around his partner. When things had been looking so good last month, he'd planned on discussing their next steps after a couple of drinks of good whiskey curled up together in front of the fire, thinking it'd be fine way to celebrate their first Christmas as free men. But it appeared that his plans were in tatters, and with the day now only a couple weeks away, he was beginning to fear that this year their Christmas would be yet another one better forgotten. After a few minutes of staring blankly out the window, he moved back to sit on the bed and glare at the far wall. Heyes wasn't sure how long it took him to finally decide it was time to face the day, but eventually, taking a steadying breath, he rubbed his face tiredly, feeling heavy headed and sore from his restless night, and mentally prepared himself for the day ahead. He hoped that he could still summon up enough patience to avoid riling the Kid, so they wouldn't get into an argument they could ill afford at the moment.

Shaving did little to improve his mood, because the tired, drawn face staring at him from the mirror simply made him frown in dismay. After he finished his task and was rinsing the razor, he found himself fearing that his friend's retreat meant that a lasting happiness was one more thing that the Kid's time in prison had stolen from them both. Pushing the unwelcome thought down, he dried the razor, then after dressing made the bed. He risked a final glance in the mirror before exiting the room to brave whatever the Kid's mood was today.

But in the small second floor apartment they'd rented just outside Boulder, as a hopefully temporary measure, until they could decide what to do with their lives, there was no sign of his friend. The only evidence that Heyes wasn't living alone, was a cold coffee pot and an empty plate.

Heyes briefly considered going to find his partner, but quickly dismissed the idea, knowing the Kid wouldn't welcome it, maybe even taking it as an indication that Heyes believed he needed supervising, and instead he just set about mechanically refilling the coffee pot, and placed it on the stove to heat. Once it was done, he poured himself a cup and sat heavily at the kitchen table. He wasn't sure how long he'd spent staring at nothing with his mind spinning, as he tried to think what he might have done that had so upset his partner, with the untouched coffee cooling beside him, when his attention was drawn to the sound of familiar footsteps coming up the outside stairs. As the door opened, Heyes looked up into the weary face of his partner, watching in silence as he removed his hat to shake the rain drops off it. They stared at each other neither speaking for a few moments, before the Kid looked down at the floor, his face flushing a little. Heyes felt his heart tug at what even six months post prison was still a depressingly familiar capitulation in his partner.

Heyes cleared his throat, hoping to bring the Kid's eyes up to his, and was disappointed when instead, with his head still down, he simply indicated the parcels he was carrying as he said quietly. "Just gonna put these away."

Heyes stared at the closed door of the second bedroom, relieved when it reopened a few minutes later and his friend re-emerged his hands empty, his head bare and wearing just a shirt and pants. Hesitating for a minute, the Kid briefly looked up at Heyes, before sitting down at the kitchen table, and choosing to stare down at the worn surface rather than meet his friend's eyes.

Heyes sighed, feeling helpless, but needing to do something, however meaningless it felt to him, stood and poured them both a fresh cup of coffee. When he handed a steaming cup to his friend, he felt the slightest tendril of hope when that earnt him a small smile and a quiet thank you. Before they could settle into what Heyes feared would be another uncomfortable silence, the sound of youthful, cheerful singing came through the window.

Hark! The herald angels sing
Glory to the new-born king
Peace on earth and mercy mild
God and sinners reconcil'd.

That brought the Kid's head up,and gripping his coffee cup in both hands, he stood and walked over to the window to gaze out of it. Heyes could see his face relaxing as he watched whatever was happening on the rain drenched street below them. As the song continued, the Kid took a deep breath, drank some coffee, before he turned to look at Heyes, his expression hard to read, but whatever he'd seen in Heyes' face, caused a small sympathetic smile, as he said softly. " I'm sorry, Heyes, I don't mean to be a bear...just..."

He trailed off, turning away to look back out the window, and Heyes walked over to join him, just as the children finished their song. After a slight pause while the group had a brief obviously spirited discussion, which judging by her expression, the pretty teenage brunette at the front won, they started another carol.

Joy to the world! the Lord is come;
Let Earth receive her King;
Let every heart prepare him room,
And heaven and nature sing,
And heaven and nature sing,
And heaven, and heaven, and nature sing.

Heyes was a little startled, when the Kid chuckled softly, the sound having been conspicuous by its absence in the last two weeks. Obviously wondering at the slight hitch in his partner's breath that Heyes hadn't been able to muffle, the Kid looked back at him, before his expression shifted into amused, and he nodded down through the window at the girl now singing loudly with an air of smug satisfaction, which was easily heard even through the window as he said. "Well that feels mighty familiar, Heyes." He paused before adding dryly. "I oughta suggest to her friends that they think 'bout flipping a coin, just so they get a say, so long as it ain't hers of course!"

Heyes sensing a thaw and suddenly feeling cautiously optimistic snorted softly, and when his friend remained gazing out the window a smile lingering, he mentally crossed his fingers and asked softly. "I done something to annoy you, Kid?" With the apparent easing of tension between them,he was hopeful of getting an answer he could work with, even if he had unintentionally somehow contributed to his partner's bleak mood.

Both surprised and relieved when his question was greeted with a confused look, Heyes felt more of his optimism return,and when the Kid turned to meet his eyes firmly and with a directness that was still depressingly rare since his release from prison, warmth pooled in his stomach, which only grew as the Kid shook his head and answered warmly. "No, Heyes, of course you haven't. You bin more patient than I deserve." He paused then asked softly. "Why you asking?"

Heyes savouring the welcome return of meaningful conversation between them was suddenly reluctant to express what he'd been feeling, fearing he'd end up sounding like some silly young wife, complaining about being ignored. His self-consciousness didn't stop his gaze from drifting briefly to the bedroom where his partner had chosen to sleep in the last week, although he quickly managed to pull his eyes back from the door to meet the Kid's, despite his face still tingling slightly in discomfort at his slip. Because it had been his partner absenting himself from their bed so soon after they'd re-established that side of things that had bothered him the most about the Kid's sudden distance, Heyes was struggling to come up with an explanation that wouldn't sound too foolish to his partner.

The last two weeks had left him with an unaccustomed and unwelcome lack of fluency, and before he could find a reply he was happy with, the Kid's face, which had creased into a puzzled frown, cleared and his expression softened into a warm smile, that held no mockery, just understanding, which eased much of Heyes' embarrassment. He was further encouraged when the Kid's reply was given in a warm tone. "Aww, Heyes. I'm sorry but I ain't been sleeping well, and it didn't seem fair keeping you awake as well, especially on top of everything else you've had to put up with from me the last couple of weeks."

After trailing off, but with his gaze softening further, the Kid quickly reached out to gently pinch the skin on Heyes' left shoulder in a comfortingly intimate gesture, and kept his hand resting there, obviously in no hurry to lose the contact.

Heyes who had thought the question of what the Kid should do after a nightmare had already been resolved between them weeks ago, even before they'd resumed sharing a bed, was irritated enough that deep exasperation leaked into his tone as he replied tightly. "We already talked about this, Kid, more than once, and I told you every time we discussed it that it don't matter you waking me. In fact I think I told you several times that I prefer you to, rather than you fretting all night by yourself." He paused and added with even more irritation." Damn it Kid, why do you have to be so stubborn? There ain't no sense in it over something like this."

When the Kid didn't reply straight away, Heyes bit down on a sigh, beginning to slightly regret his sharp words despite still feeling impatient that his friend hadn't listened to him. However, he was determined to preserve the easing of tension between them so was eager to think of a way of backing down without apologising. But before he could come up with something that he thought both of them would be happy with, the Kid gave a warm laugh, as a cheerful grin crossed his face, before he replied with amusement and even some relief in his tone. "That's more like it, Heyes."

Heyes felt a lot of the heaviness that had been weighing him down lift off his shoulders, and even the small amount that remained, shifted and lightened, leaving him feeling confident that he was right as he said firmly.."If you ain't sleeping good, Kid, I don't see how being on your own is gonna help you any, as it certainly ain't helping me none."

The Kid with his lips twitching replied just as firmly. "All right Heyes, if you insist, I'll join you tonight, but when we're both so tired and grumpy come tomorrow morning that even your coffee don't help to wake us up, don't be complainin' that I didn't warn you."

Not to be put off, Heyes replied with. "You're always telling me my coffee is enough to wake the dead, Kid, so I ain't worried." His response drew a soft chuckle of acknowledgment from his partner and his expression remained relaxed.

As they stood quietly listening to the singing below them, Heyes reflected that the Kid's abrupt withdrawal was a clear sign that he'd been overconfident in believing that they were completely past the worst, and it had forced him recognise the fact that despite all their progress, they still had a ways to go before they got back everything that had been stolen from them by the Kid's time in prison. But navigating this bump in the road had simply made Heyes even more determined that they would make it through together, and thrive, however long it took, because there was no way he was going to allow multiple stupid governors and prison to permanently take from them what they both deserved after their trials, which was a good life built on firm foundations.

As the carollers began another song, the Kid moved the hand resting on Heyes' shoulder down, to settle on the left side of his waist, and turned so they were standing face to face. With a small smile, he placed his other hand just above Heyes' right hip, and stepped in close. Heyes taking it as it was intended, slipped his arms round his lover's back, and when the Kid quickly pulled him close, he allowed himself to rest against his chest, soaking up his warmth, as he thought that when they were together like this, it always felt like he'd come home, wherever they were. After a few moments, the Kid said softly. "I ain't sure of much, but believe me Heyes, us, I don't never doubt."

XXX

Heyes was woken some time late into the night by a flailing hand and the Kid's leg kicking him hard, as his partner tossed restlessly, mumbling quietly to himself, obviously in some distress. Heyes turning onto his side, reached out to carefully pat his friend's chest, but when that had little effect, he gently pulled him close, and softly rubbed his back, not trying to avoid the unwelcome scars there. A smile crossed his face when his partner relaxed against him, and quickly drifted back into a deeper sleep, without fully waking.

Heyes listening to to his partner's even breathing, grinned to himself in the dark for a few minutes, and his last clear thought before sleep reclaimed him was that he'd enjoy telling Kid come morning just how right he'd been about them sleeping better when they were together. Well he would, after he'd reminded him of the advantages to sharing a bed,other than just a good night's sleep.

XXX

After a leisurely cheerful breakfast, when they were sat at the kitchen table, a peaceful quiet between them, Heyes put his book down and glanced over at his partner, who was just finishing cleaning his gun, and said. "You ain't seen the tree in the square properly lit up yet. It's real pretty and worth looking at. So today we should head into town for a late lunch and a couple of drinks so you can."

When the Kid didn't reply or look up in response to his suggestion, Heyes suddenly feared that it was still too soon, and prepared himself for a refusal from his friend. He was about to suggest that instead they simply go into town at sunset just to see the tree, then come back home, when his partner with a deep breath met his gaze with a reassuring smile that made Heyes conscious of the fact that he must have an anxious expression on his face. The Kid not looking down and with a huff of approval, then snapped his gun shut and replaced it unerringly in his holster as he said ."We should make a proper night of it, stay in that new fancy hotel by the saloon. I sure could do with a proper bath and a real shave, and I got some shoppin' to finish, so I can do that while you're playin' poker."

It was even more than Heyes had hoped for and with his new found resolve not to take any progress for granted, he asked a little uncertainly. "You sure, Kid?"

The Kid kept looking at Heyes', his jaw tilted up, as he replied in a steady tone, easy firmness marking every word. "I figure my time in prison took enough from us, without me letting it ruin the first proper Christmas we've had in years. So, yes, Heyes, I'm plenty sure." He paused then added with a grin. "So long as you're offerin' to pay of course."

Heyes snorted on the coffee he'd just drunk, nearly choking, because the reply was so pre prison Kid, that happiness bubbled up inside him, escaping as a laugh. After clearing his throat, he managed a slightly breathless reply. "Just this once, Kid, I am. Though you can pay for your own shopping, as I ain't buying my own presents, 'cos that's asking a bit much."

The Kid nodded as if thinking about it, then said with a wink "I guess that means I better get you something." But then his face turned serious and he said softly. "Though nothin' I buy, will beat what we got right here." Heyes swallowed hard round the sudden lump that had formed in his throat at the simple heartfelt words. He took a gulp of coffee with slightly shaking hands to cover, but he found it impossible to speak through the relief and raw emotion, so simply nodded his agreement. The Kid walked round behind him, squeezing his shoulders as he said softly. "Love ya,Heyes."

The Kid was nearly at their bedroom door, when Heyes managed to find his voice. "Love you too, Kid."

Christmas Day

Heyes woke to the Kid curled up tightly round him. When they'd first resumed sharing a bed he'd found the fact his partner often ended up like this slightly worrying, because it had rarely happened pre prison, but as he now realised that it had little to do with insecurity and most everything to do with the Kid seeking out a source of heat as he felt the cold more easily these days, it brought a small smile, as that was something far more easily remedied. Heyes had bought a quilt for Christmas, laying it on the back of the couch after the Kid had gone to bed, hoping his partner would realise its purpose, while he avoided being obvious about his concern.

The Kid stirred and looked at him sleepily as he slurred. "Happy Christmas, Heyes. What time is it?"

"I dunno, Kid, but we ain't in a hurry so it don't matter."

That brought a snort of laughter in reply, quickly followed by a dry comment. "Well, who are you and whatcha done with my partner?"

Heyes humphed, and kicked him gently on the leg which drew another amused sound, before the Kid closed his eyes again, and obviously deciding to take advantage of the lack of urgency, drifted back into sleep and Heyes just as comfortable wasn't far behind him.

Much later after they'd surfaced and as Heyes started to make coffee, the Kid came up behind him and said firmly. "I'm makin' it this mornin' because its Christmas and I want a decent cup of coffee to start the day."

Heyes threw him a dirty look, but still retired to the kitchen table letting him be, as he enjoyed the sight of his friend shuffling round their shared space. When the Kid came over to him a cup in hand, Heyes caught the gleam of something on his partner's left hand, and as his eyes drifted to study it, the Kid smiled. "Well it ain't a match to yours, Heyes, as that might raise a few eyebrows, but I figured it was time I accepted, like you did a few years ago, that what we got between us is a marriage."

Then he quickly turned away to fetch his own mug, and Heyes knew nothing more was going be said about it, so he simply took a long drink studying his own ring as he did so and felt happiness soak into his every bone.

XXX

That evening, after they'd returned home from eating Christmas dinner at their nearest neighbours, where it seemed a lot of the town had also ended up, with the thick curtains tightly shut against the miserable weather, Heyes was sat in the comfortable rocking chair by their colourfully decorated tree, enjoying how the flickering lights of the three lamps in the room were reflecting off the baubles and making them twinkle, while the Kid dozed on the couch, the quilt wrapped round him, as a blazing fire roared in the fireplace. Heyes looking round their comfortable space, gave a sigh of contentment, that was loud enough that his partner was drawn out of his doze to look over at him. "Ya know Heyes, we oughta think about settling down here. Its real pretty and the people sure make us feel at home." He rubbed his stomach, obviously appreciating the memory of the delicious meal, before laughing at the slight grimace that Heyes felt cross his face at the thought of the level of nosiness that friendliness often led to, and added. "I know that means sometimes folk ask us too many questions, but if we build our place a bit further out than we are now, we can escape for a few days when it gets a bit much."

Heyes saw the sense in that, he too enjoyed Boulder, and while he'd thought they might move on, he realised there was no real need to. The town had welcomed them when many other places would not have, and it made sense to set down roots somewhere they were comfortable. "We'll look at buying some land come the New Year, Kid."

The Kid nodded his agreement and continued to look over at him, his sleepy expression quickly shifting into something else, and Heyes feeling his groin tighten in response to the invitation there quickly finished his drink, and started to douse the fire, smiling as he heard the Kid stand and walk towards the bedroom. Once he was happy that the fire was safely out, he stood, and on his way out of the living area, blew out the lamps. Caught by the sight of the Kid undressing in the flickering flame of the single light he'd lit on entering, Heyes paused briefly at the door to their room, before he strode over to join his lover just as he perched on the bed to remove his shirt, and was quickly undressed himself. Together, as the grandfather clock struck eight, they slid into bed, too lost in each other to notice the early hour.