The office Christmas party was in full swing, and everyone was in attendance. It'd been two weeks since Shirley and Carl became engaged, and Alan had distanced himself from her since then. He never really liked Carl, and throwing Shirley into the mix just made it worse. Sure, he put on a brave face when she accepted his proposal but deep down, he was heartbroken. She was gone, and he'd lost his chance. A part of him wanted to blame Denny for all of it, but he knew he never really gave Shirley a reason to believe he wasn't after more than a physical experience. He was too afraid of rejection and wanted to keep her at a distance. Plus, he did care about Denny's feelings. Now he was paying the ultimate price. But he figured he could enjoy one dance with her this evening without harm. He approached her, and she graciously accepted, leaving Carl to steal a dance with Katie.
"You know it's been a while since we've done this." Shirley innocently stated.
"Yes, it has. Although I do miss the rabbit costume." Alan proudly smirked, earning a laugh from his dance partner.
She was so beautiful. Alan's heart ached, realizing this would be their final dance like this. He wasn't in the mood to flirt with her. He just wanted to savor every moment of her in his arms for however long he could. Shirley's smile disappeared, seeing the look on his face. It was a look she'd only seen one other time when she told him for the final time to ask for Denny's permission for them to meet at the Ritz Carlton after a failed trial. Disappointment mixed with something else she couldn't put her finger on. He had become so distant from her recently that she hated it. He wasn't Alan, the Alan she had known since arriving in Boston. The flirtatious troublemaker she came to adore and respect secretly and was attracted to. As much as she tried to keep a safe distance from his advances, they'd grown close and become friends and allies in many ways she'd never thought would happen.
He replaced Denny in some aspects of her life and even Carl and her ex-husbands. He was there for her when her father died. He was there when Jack reentered her life and the heartache that came after. He was there when her modeling pictures were about to be auctioned to the public, which could have tarnished her reputation. And he single-handedly saved her life twice and willingly jeopardized his job to do so. He seemed to always be there for her, even when he opposed her in court or when they occasionally fought, trying to reason with her. But she couldn't throw away her engagement for a 'what if' or an unfulfilled desire with a forbidden romance. But the last time she was in this situation was with Jack. Alan wasn't Jack, but her gut still wasn't sitting right. She wrote it off as getting used to the changes in their relationship and pre-wedding jitters. She shook her warring thoughts away and caught Alan's eyes.
They kept staring at each other, unknowingly pulling the other closer until they were mere inches apart. He could see a hint of sadness and confusion in her eyes that matched his own. Their intimate moment didn't go unnoticed by Carl or Denny. Once the song ended, they faked a pair of smiles and reluctantly pulled away after Alan kissed her on her temple, escorted her back to Carl, and then retreated to the balcony. He needed some fresh air. Shirley watched him disappear down the hall as her fiancé pulled her onto the dance floor again.
"Well. That was interesting to watch." Carl sharply commented.
"What was?" Shirley looked up at him.
"You and Alan."
"Ah. Well, Alan's been acting strange recently." Shirley gave him a bland smile.
"I meant you." He spatted. Shirley was a little taken aback by his demeanor.
"What do you mean?" She blinked.
"The way you two acted looked like two people in love or rather sad in love."
"Alan's not in love with me. He was attracted to me, he wanted a fling, and we flirted now and then but nothing more than that. It wasn't that deep for him. I'm the one he couldn't have, so he'll mourn his game, but he'll move on to the next pretty girl that comes along." At least, that's what she told herself over the years. She didn't exactly enjoy the days when Lorraine showed up, though. She averted her eyes to his suit.
"Not from where I was standing." Carl wasn't buying any of it. "Shirley, I might not have been here that long, but it was obvious there was something there and possibly still is there."
"What makes you think that?" She was getting tired of this.
"Because of the way you looked at him." His eyes captured hers. "You never looked at me that way."
Shirley stopped dancing. "Carl…"
"Shirley, can you honestly say, if you were under oath, that you don't have any feelings for him?"