Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! 5ds.

This is a gift to tumblr user vio-wiio for coming up with the idea! We made the general outline of the fic together (though most of it was made by them) and I used some of their lines. It's also crossposted on AO3 so I hope you like it!

Yusei, Jack, and Crow, if asked, they would say that they could not remember the last time they had gotten sick. They would also be mostly honest, because as it turns out living in an isolated polluted island where no vaccination was available meant that there were different viruses on said island that on the mainland, and getting immunity, even the hard way, to one region's diseases did not necessarily mean they were immune to the other regions' diseases.

What they were trying to say was, they were all pretty tough and had not gotten sick in years, but they had gotten colds within the first few months they had each arrived in New Domino City.

Of course, back when that happened and Yusei and Crow had gotten fevers at around the same time, Jack was overly smug and pretended to be made of superior stuff, as if he had not gotten sick too when he first got here.

Well, if that ever happened it was between Jack and Mikage to know.

What did all this mean? It meant that the trio's go-to and very much inexperienced method of dealing with colds was to try and recall what Martha and Dr. Schmidt did back when they were kids, and a) keep the sick person fed and hydrated regardless of how much they protested, b) not bring down the fever because without any medicine in hand it was indeed the only way to kill the virus, c) do try to bring down the fever if it was too high or went on for too long.

Which was why Bruno was currently on the garage's couch in a blanket with an ice pack on his forehead.

The timing was horrible. Yusei and Bruno were in the middle of making a final prototype for their engine, because for all that they claimed their program was a masterpiece (okay, not in these words but that was the overall sense of the thing), it was completely useless without an engine to run it.

Jack was absolutely no help in that particular subject and Crow was familiar with more conventional stuff instead of the apparently quantum physics monstrosity that Yusei and Bruno had created in the middle of the night, so construction fell unto those two.

Until Bruno had gotten sick, obviously. Really sick, to the point that even in the hands of All-Nighter Extraordinaire V2, the screws were shacking and he was dropping stuff and his vision was apparently swimming before he admitted he could not keep going.

Frankly, Jack was pissed. Especially since apparently their computer decided about a day or so after Bruno had to call it quits that it was also calling it quits and loaded an absolute fuckton of computer viruses.

No, no, no. It was not just viruses. Yusei could deal with just viruses. Probably. He was an absolute expert in spotting the source of the problem for stuff that did not come out of his brain at 4:28 a.m. No, it was everything else that came with the viruses to intentionally make stuff ten times more frustrating.

Like the "mature females in your area 25 PLUS ONLY!" ads. The random assortment of "top 45 [insert random and awfully specific subject here]" links that opened after five clicks with each producing a new pop up window to that one betting casino game website that got advertised fucking everywhere. The Torrential downloads that instantly downloaded on their laptop's files with names that were a random string of characters and symbols. "Are you sure you want to leave this site" prompts. So-called "survey programs", which even Jack could call BS on. Hours worth of cats failing at existing videos that they could not remove from full screen. Ads for fitness programs so freaking big that they obscured most of the screen and instead of vanishing when clicking on the X icon like a proper pop-up window were replaced with a freaking Goggle prompt of equally obstructive value demanding to know "why did you not find this ad fit for you".

Oh, but turn off the WiFi, you may think! Ooooh no, that is not where this ended. Not even remotely. Their problems continued offline as well. Like all those times their monitor placed photo filters on itself, so it looked sepia, or inverted colours or overly pixilated. That time the monitor split into four segments of itself, all playing the same thing. That time their mouse would only work every other five minutes. The toolbar vanishing. Spots covering the screen in all colours of the rainbow causing hours long lags and the computer to overheat. Once Crow woke up to Yusei grumbling – grumbling! – over the Onsnap tool not working, whatever that was.

Because whatever was going on with their laptop started affecting their programs as well. Nothing was deleted, from what Yusei could tell, but he could hardly run any of them. Files not getting saved or being saved in odd spots, archived stuff that were certainly not there before, the audio doing weird shit for some reason dragging up audio files that were not there before, somehow hacking the police HQ again, finding VPNs linking them to some server in Sumatra, and a whole lot of techno-jargon that Jack and Crow had lost track of long ago.

There was even an incident when a very confused scam center caller asked them why their screen had been taken over by a live video or the ramen pot collection on their desk. As well as some guy on their private line demanding they take his organs. That was the creepiest shit the group ever heard, and they used to live in Satellite.

Not even Yusei could handle all that. He had only so much energy, so much patience, there were only so many hours in the day and he already so anxious and he took it upon himself to take care of Bruno on top of all that-

Jack was PISSED.

"YOU have been doing NOTHING but laying on our COUCH all day, while Yusei takes care of you!"

"I'm terribly sorry!"

"Sorry doesn't cut it!"

"Jack, knock it off, you ass!"

"YOU knock it off, Crow!"

Crow instead grabbed Jack from the waist and Jack had enough time to scoff because even though Crow was strong his height had NOTHING on Jack's and then he felt Crow's balance shift and OH SHIT-

And thus Bruno was treated to the sight of a perfectly executed German Suplex.

Jack and Crow picked themselves up from the ground in an instant. "I'll murder you! And then HIM!"

Bruno whimpered.

Crow was not deterred. "You want me to bash your head again!?"

"BOTH OF YOU, stop this now."

Oh shit.

All three of them turned to Yusei, who had just gotten out of the bathroom, hair and face newly wet, and eyes dead and sparkling with what could only be frustration and exhaustion.

Jack and Crow immediately quieted down. Neither of them wanted to be a burden to Yusei. Intellectually, they knew that Yusei valued them and would never consider such a thing. But the constant feeling of being completely unable to help was one that weighted down on them.

Crow was working to keep them all afloat, especially since business had slowed down for Yusei with everything going on. And Jack could not do shit because he had no job, no technical knowledge and his patience with Bruno was non-existent.

With one last disappointed glare, Yusei walked back to the laptop, exhaustion emanating from his every step. He plopped himself down on the seat, ignoring his tree roommates' stares on his back. The room was eerily silent, save for the laptop's fan.

Bruno sneezed.

A pop-up window appeared.

And because the universe could never be satisfied with one sneeze, it was followed by a second, stronger one.

A second pop-up window appeared.

It was an ad for some supposedly miraculous essential oil treatment for colds.

Yusei, Jack, and Crow turned to face Bruno.

Bruno gulped.

"You DID something, didn't you!? It's YOUR fault our computer is full of viruses!"

"The HELL Jack, how does anything have to do with Bruno being sick!?"

"I'm not sure but I'm about to find out!"

And of course Jack's fist was raised and Bruno braced himself because Jack was strong and didn't know the meaning of holding back and violence was his first solution to everything. This time it was not Crow who grabbed him though; it was Yusei.

"Punching him won't fix anything, Jack."

The black-haired mechanic fixed the blond with a hard glare, and Jack turned around with a scoff. But from the corner of his eye Yusei was still staring at Bruno, and his empty, empty gaze.

Yusei woke up to the sound of clanging metal.

He was tired, true. Dead tired. However, the anxiety of the past few days made sleep near impossible, and Yusei's body was too used to all-nighters to relax at a moment's notice. In this hour of the night, every single sound was magnified by a hundred times, as if to scream at his ear to draw attention to it.

In other words: Bruno was nowhere near as sneaky as he wanted to be.

As quietly as he could to make sure he would not wake Jack and Crow, Yusei got off his bed and crept down the stairs. The lights were all turned off, but that did not mean much – he and Bruno were used to working in those conditions.

And there he was, only illuminated by whatever light made it through the windows outside. Bruno had taken off his jacket exposing the countless tools hidden under it, and many of them had clearly had been used.

He was sitting stiffly on the couch, with a kitchen knife on his arm.

"We don't have any scalpels I guess…" This particular kind of precision cutting tool was not needed for making D-Wheels.

Bruno startled. "Yu-Yusei!" In his shock he dropped the knife.

"Good thing that fell on the couch, otherwise Jack would be up in arms now."

"Y-Yeah. Um…" Bruno seemed to realize what position Yusei found him in. "This- This really isn't what it looks like, I swear!"

"Yeah, I know." In fact, Yusei had a sneaking suspicion that Bruno was going to try something like this since the sneeze-induced pop-up windows this morning. "But I'm pretty sure you have a software issue, not a hardware one. Is your antivirus system updated?"

Bruno's jaw dropped. He spluttered something like denial but as Yusei came down the stairs he slouched into resignation. "Um, Yusei…"

Yusei held Bruno by the shoulders – the poor guy always needed some encouragement. "Let me help you. I don't know much about colds but I do know about machines. We can find a way to connect you to the laptop to deal with your virus…"

"What, right now? You should be resting! I can deal with this on my own- I think."

"Bruno."

"Please Yusei… I just want you to rest. I can handle myself now. My amnesia isn't too bad anymore! Please just res-"

"You need more rest than I do, Bruno. I promise to be careful with you while I try to get rid of the virus you have."

Yusei knew he was decent at persuading people – but he had no idea that when he was being so earnest it was near impossible to say no to him. He would look at them straight in the eye and he had this weird effect that made you wonder how incredibly clear his eyes were and how much he believed in what he was saying and- yeah, Bruno eventually caved.

"I guess there's no stopping you, is there."

They fell silent for a few moments, and soon Bruno's eyes drifted to the knife again. "I was trying to see if I had a port anywhere or something- I think I have some kind of port but I'm not sure where…"

"So you could connect to the laptop?"

"I- didn't think that far." He was a bit busy having something of an existential crisis actually, because manifesting his riding suit as Dark Glass and finding out he's made of wires are two very different things.

"Perhaps we could try transferring the virus to the laptop?"

"Technically, I already infected the laptop with the virus… I think we should cut my connection to the laptop."

"Are you sure our laptop did not infect you?"

As always, Yusei and Bruno lost themselves in conversation.

Skin had been torn open into wire. Life-giving blood, dripping down the floor, rushing through veins that were not veins but tubes and wires connected to a box as it to be drained. Blood coated the wires- so many wires, twisting and turning into knots as the roots of a gnarled forest, in a twisted imitation of what should have been living. Was it even blood at all? Impossible to tell. Sparks flew from the fluid, smoking the transparent material – silicon, perhaps? – that was stained red from all the fluid. Some empty canteens were filled with the same stuff, perhaps in a vain effort to keep it from spilling.

The air smelled of smoke.

And in the middle of all the chaos, Yusei had his safety goggles on, working with a screwdriver and tweezers on the back of a shirtless Bruno who in turn was using his free hand to type into the laptop where the bloody mess that were his wires was currently connected to.

"OK so I'll try to move this gear then, if we can find the transmitter…"

"Ouch!"

"…And here it is. It seems to use chips to transfer signals as opposed to mimicking a nervous system… I think."

"Well, I certainly felt that."

"Anything feel different?"

"…Maybe? I'll run a diagnostic again, but I didn't experience and kind of motor issues the past few days…"

"True, but the whole thing with the mouse and keyboard glitching could be connected to your own motor sensors."

"Right, we need to make sure it doesn't receive any input from me. OH- ah, I felt that in my arm. Um, the left."

"Can you wave it a little?"

"Sure, why- Yusei, I'm moving the mouse wirelessly now."

"So there is a connection. Let's try to cut it off."

"Um… don't mess with my spine too badly… Don't cut anything important…"

"The way it's made I don't think I can. It's connected with chips and gears, not wires, so as long as I don't scratch any of these you'll be fine. We can work on this directly from the laptop."

"Please do, this mouse is making me dizzy…"

Yusei carefully removed his tools, eliciting a sigh of relief from Bruno, who despite his earlier complaints about dizziness continued trying to make the mouse on the screen move with his mind.

On top of the stairs, Jack and Crow stared at the scene of carnage beneath them in muted horror.

"That's it. I'm never sleeping ever again. Actually no, I'm never waking up ever again. I think I need to call today off work. Actually no, I'll have to stay in the garage if I do that. But I don't want to go downstairs. I'll step on stuff. They'll notice us. I'm out of practice with sneaking around, but even so that's a bit too much? Jack? Help?"

"…"

"…Jack?"

"I need some fucking coffee. Then I'm going to tear his wires out, turn them into scrap metal, and tie up Yusei with them so he doesn't go all mad scientist on us."

For once, Crow was with Jack on this one.

With this declaration, Jack left, leaving Crow alone with the tech-minded (literally in one case) duo that still hadn't noticed their presence. Crow once again took in the bloody? – It certainly looked like blood but it probably wasn't – mess all over the floor.

It honestly looked like a sci-fi horror murder scene.

Crow really hoped they did not get evicted over this.

"Hey Yusei, I think the w button makes my ear ticklish."

He really, REALLY hoped so.

Author's note: And, that's it! I wasn't sure how to finish this tbh, but I think this is decent enough. I was definitely venting with the description of the computer issues though - some of them have actually happened to me. Finding out OnSnap isn't working the night before I need to turn in a 3D Rhino model for finals is NOT fun.

Please, review! All criticism welcome!