Lincoln threw up again on his walk home. By the time he reached his front door, he was feeling really weak and tired.
"Okay, new tip," he said to the screen. "Go easy on the deep-fry."
Gagging, he opened the door. Leni and Lily were sitting on the couch in the living room, playing with some of their prizes.
"Hey Linky!" Leni called over. "Come over here and meet all my new friends. This is Valentino, Ferragamo, Chanel, Gucci-"
She paused upon taking in the sight of her sick bro.
"Oh, you're still feeling yucky," she got up. "Here, let me help."
"No, it's okay," he protested, though she ignored him.
"Come on, we'll take you upstairs and I'll get you some of that bubble gum-flavored, pink stuff." "You mean Pepto Bismol?"
"Never heard of him."
They were now at the top of the stairs.
"Thanks Leni."
"No problem, Linky," she smiled. "You know, if you'd spoken up sooner, I would have taken you home eariler." "As if Lynn would have let you," Lincoln muttered, trudging for his door.
"She didn't do this to you?" Leni asked, again concerned. "Did she?"
"Nah, it was just the food," Lincoln wasn't going to risk Lynn finding out. Out of all their sisters, the jock especially didn't take kindly to snitches. "Lynn just dragged me around on a few rides and then tried to win some stuffed monkey."
Leni's smile dipped a little.
"A… monkey?" Her tone had a hint of unease.
"Yeah, Jimbo or something." Gagging again, Lincoln shut the door, failing to notice Leni's face morphing from slight unease to pure terror.
Yanking her phone from her pocket, she frantically dialed in a number.
"Lori, get everyone back here. We have a code Jumbo," she cried. "Repeat, code Jumbo!"
Lincoln slept for a hour or so, mostly thanks to the Pepto Bismol Leni had brought him. However, by the time he woke up, the relief had worn off.
"I need some more Pepto Bismol." Opening his door, Lincoln headed for the bathroom, only to be grabbed and yanked through a door.
"Hey!'
"Sorry Lincoln, but this is serious!" Lori said, having yanked him into her room. All his sisters (sans Lynn) were there too. "Take a seat."
Sighing, Lincoln did. He looked around and as his tired eyes ajusted, he noticed something a bit strange. All his younger sisters merely looked confused, but all his older sisters bore looks of intense dread or stress, as if something horrible was about to happen.
"Is… everything okay?"
"Not after what you told Leni, bro," Luna said.
"About what? Jumbo?"
His elder sisters all simultaneously cringed. Now he was really confused.
"What's doing on here, guys?" Lincoln asked.
"Yes, I too want to know why I was so hastily pulled from my abstract astronomical adventure," Lisa added gruffly. "I was just passing Mars too."
Who is this Jumbo?" Lola demanded.
Lori, Leni, Luan, and Luna all got up and faced the group. All four looked tense and nervous.
Lori sighed and spoke. "It happened a long time ago, back before any of you were born."
"What did?" Lana asked.
"Lynn and her literally insane obsession with Jumbo's Jungle Gym," Lori shuddered.
A toddler Lynn is running around the house in a red shirt and diaper.
"Lynn was around 15 months old and had just started walking and talking," Luna went on. "Mom and Dad thought it was time they introduce her to some of those educational kiddy cartoons."
Lynn is placed in front of the TV. It's turned on and the toddler's eyes light up in wonder. "And it was Jumbo?" Lincoln asked.
"Yep," Leni said.
On the TV screen is a jungle setting. We see two young women walking when one points up. "Trish, look! It's Jumbo!" The camera pans to a chimp in a red shirt, shorts, armbands, and headband on a tree branch. They follow him to a jungle gym in the middle before turning to the camera.
"I'm Trish!"
"And I'm Mary!"
"And welcome to Jumbo's Jungle Gym!" They both cried.
As the star chimp dances around on-screen, toddler Lynn's jaw falls open in amazement. There are stars gleaming in her tiny eyes.
We cut to the women, now in sweats, with Jumbo hanging over them. He starts chirping and Mary puts a hand to her ear.
"That's Jumboese for 'are you ready to get fit?'"
Jumbo starts scratching his armpits, jumping up and down, and screeching.
"Oh-oh-oh! Aw-aw-aw!"
"Oh-oh-oh! Aw-aw-aw!" Toddler Lynn copied his motions, completely captivated by the TV star. "Then let's get fit!"
"She totes loved him."
"From that moment on, Jumbo was her everything," Luna took over, "She watched him everyday. We'd never seen such energy in a toddler."
Lynn is intensely watching Jumbo, copying the chimp's every motion.
"Lynn said Jumbo taught her everything," Lincoln said, remembering the fair.
"Oh, he did, bro. He certainly did."
"Always remember to stretch before excercising, kids!" Mary says as she and Trish follow Jumbo in limbering up.
Jumbo chirps as he exercises.
"That's right, Jumbo," Trish points at the screen. "You can do it too."
"Too!" Lynn is shown copying them, stretching out her chubby little arms.
"And one! Two! Three! Four!" The three characters are shown lifting toy arm bars.
"Un! Ew! Ee! Or!" Lynn copies them with an imaginary arm bar.
"Lift with your back!" They're shown doing sit-ups.
"Urrrrr!" Lynn copies them, only managing to get halfway.
"Come on, push up!" Now they're shown doing push-ups.
"Up!" Lynn copies them, though she only manages to push herself up a few centimeters before flopping back onto her belly. Nevertheless, she smiles with pride.
We then see that her sisters, 5-year-old Lori, 4-year-old Leni, 3-year-old Luna, and 2-year-old Luan, are watching her from the side, all giggling at their sister's silly actions.
" At first, it was tots adorable."
"Jumbo!" Lynn cried. "Oh-oh-oh! Aw-aw-aw!" She jumped up and down like a monkey for her sisters, making them laugh.
We see a montage of little Lynn drawing a picture in daycare of Jumbo, having a Jumbo-themed 2nd birthday, and dressing as Jumbo for Halloween. Everyone is happy.
"But then, one day-"
Lori sits on the couch and takes the remote, switching to a new channel.
"I made the mistake of switching the channel," Lori shuddered.
Lynn is stunned. She turns to face her sister.
"Jumbo!"
"No Lynn," Lori said. "I want to watch Poppyseed Avenue*."
Lynn's tiny eyes narrow. With wobbly, but powerful steps, she advances on her sister. "Jumbo!"
"Lynn, it's my-"
But Lori is cut off by Lynn screeching and tackling her.
"So?" Lana shrugged. "We fight over the remote all the time."
"Not. Like. Lynn," Lori stammered.
We see Lynn beating Lori with her fists, jumping on her, pulling out her hair, and even biting her - all while monkey screeching. By the time she's finally kicked off the couch, Lori is a terrified mess. Beating her chest, Lynn asserts her dominance of the couch.
"Jum… bo!" She growls, her eyes blazing with anger. She grabs the remote. "Mine! My Jumbo! MINE!" "Everytime any of us tried to watch something, she was there."
We see little Leni sitting on the couch.
"Panda and the Pink Palace!" She cheers.
"OH-OH-OH-AH-AH-AH!"
"AHHHHHHHHH!"
She's pounced on by Lynn.
We see little Luna sitting on the couch.
"Sweet Beat Band!" She cheers.
"OH-OH-OH-AH-AH-AH!"
"AHHHHHHHHH!"
She's pounced on by Lynn.
We see little Luan sitting on the couch.
"Artie!" She cheers.
"OH-OH-OH-AH-AH-AH!"
"AHHHHHHHHH!"
She's pounced on by Lynn.
"Well, why didn't you tell Mom and Dad?" Lincoln asked.
The girls all grew looks of annoyance.
"We tried," Lori said, "but Mom and Dad were always busy."
"With what?"
"You, lil bro," Luna said. "No offense, but you weren't an easy baby."
"It seemed like every time we tried to tell them about Lynn, they had their hands full," Leni added.
We see a montage of child Lori and the others complaining to Rita, but she and Lynn Sr are busy feeding/changing/calming down baby Lincoln. Child Lori sulks as her mom shushes them.
As if he wasn't already feeling bad enough, now he'd learned that he'd been the cause of his sisters' misery. His face fell.
"Oh, don't feel bad, Linky. We know you didn't mean to," Leni said.
"We still loved you even if you were a cry, spit, and poop factory," Luan added.
"So yeah, we were literally on our own," Lori shuddered. "And Lynn was a monster." We see a montage of Lynn chasing, scaring, and attacking her sisters.
"And as she got older," Luna went on. "It got even worse."
All four girls are backed into a corner. They're hugging each other and shaking like crazy, their clothes tattered, their hair messes, and tiny bruses on their pale-white faces. Their toddler sister bares down on them, beating her chest and screetching like a savage chimp.
"Then," Luan gulped, her voice getting higher and higher with every word, "c-came the monkey cookies."
Lynn reaches inside her diaper and-
The kids all cringed in horror.
"Okay, I've heard enough!" Lola yells.
So had Lincoln. The mere implication was enough to cause him to gag again. Struggling to hold back his vomit, he rushed out of the room.
"Wow," Lana said, "All that for a TV show?"
Luna nodded. "For Lynn, it was her life."
"Well, how did this whole Jumbo fiasco end?" Lisa asked. "Obviously, Lynn's obsession with him had to end at some point. After all, none of us have ever heard of him until now."
The sisters looked at each other.
"That part's actually pretty ironic," Luan said. "Remember when we said Linky was a problem because he stopped Mom and Dad from helping us?"
"Yes."
"Well…" Lori shrugged, "he turned out to be the solution too."
We see a baby Lincoln being led to the TV by his parents.
"Eventually, Linky got old enough to start watching TV too," Leni narrated.
Rita turns the TV on to a baby program. Baby Linc's eyes light up.
Toddler Lynn hears the TV. "Jumbo!"
She rushes towards it on all fours like a monkey. She's about to pounce on her baby brother, just like she had her sisters, when she's grabbed from behind.
"Lynn Jr, don't you dare!" Rita scolded her.
Lynn's fierce nature instantly faded. Even she knew better than to challenge her mommy and daddy. "Bu… Jumbo!" Lynn whined.
"Jumbo will have to wait," Rita said sternly. "Its Linky's turn and you CANNOT roughhouse with him. Understand, young lady?"
Lynn nodded. She's put down and walks off in a pout. Her sisters have been peering around the corner and saw everything. They look at each other and smile.
"So, I take it you used this opportunity to inform our parents of Lynn's outrageous behavior?" Lisa asked. Lori looked away and twiddled her fingers. "Welllllll…"
"Time for Poppyseed Avenue!" Little Lori sits in front of the TV. Lynn is about to attack when she sees Lincoln in her lap. Pouting, she slumps off.
"Time for Panda and the Pink Palace!" Little Leni sits in front of the TV. Lynn is about to attack when she sees Lincoln in her lap. Pouting, she slumps off.
The same thing happens with Luna and Luan.
"You used our brother as a human shield so you could watch your shows?" Lisa shook her head in disproval.
"Hey, we were little kids!" Lori protested.
"And suffering from PTSD," Luan added. "Poop Throwing Sister Disorder. Haha!" She looked around. Nobody was laughing. "Just a little humor to lighten the mood."
"Okay, so what happened next?" Lana asked.
"Well, between our TV time and Linky's TV time, Lynn didn't have any time to watch Jumbo," Leni went on. "She was pretty much in withdraw," Luna said.
We see toddler Lynn rocking pitifully in her room, hugging her Jumbo doll.
"Jumbo," she mutters sadly.
"Until one day…"
We see Lynn Sr peak inside Lynn's room. "Hey Jr," he said. "Why you cooped up in here all alone?" "Jumbo."
"Oh, you don't need TV. There's lots of more fun stuff to do than sitting around it all day." He sat down and rolled over a tiny ball. "Let's play ball."
Lynn turns away, shaking her head.
"Aw, come on Jr," Lynn Sr playfully rolls the ball over to her. "Come on, please? For Daddy?"
Lynn turns back around. Sighing, she looks down at the ball and half-heartedly rolls it. Lynn Sr catches it and claps. "Yay! You did it, Jr!"
His praise stirs something inside the toddler. Her frown fades as she looks up with interest. A tiny smile appears on her face and she giggles.
"See? It's fun." He rolls it to her again. Now into it, she grabs it and throws it back.
"Yay! Jr!"
Lynn laughs, her face lit up with joy.
"Come on, Jr. Let's go play more outside."
The toddler happily reaches up for her daddy.
The two are outside, happily rolling the ball to each other on the grass. The sisters are all watching out the window.
We see a 3-year-old Lynn playing outside with him. Then, a 5-year-old, then 7, then 10, then present 13-year-old Lynn.
"So you're saying Lynn got into sports because she couldn't watch TV?" Lola asked.
Lisa chuckled, "That's actually the most realistic part of this whole story."
"It was literally a miracle," Lori went on, "but we couldn't take any chances. We couldn't bare the thought of her relapsing and starting the whole thing all over again."
"So we got rid of all her Jumbo merch and never brought him up again," Luna admitted. "What about the show?" Lana asked.
"It ended not too long after Lynn made the transition," Luan answered. "I think it was cancelled or something." "But if what Linky said is true, then it totes could be happening again," Leni whined.
Luan gulped. Never had the Loud House Queen of Comedy looked so terrified.
"First, she'll win the doll," Her voice cracked in fear, "Then she'll be taking it everywhere she goes, like I did with Mr Coconuts. Then comes the monkey routine and then…" She let out a squeak, her voice now an ear splitting high pitch, "the cookies."
The younger siblings all looked at each other, their expressions ranging from mild concern (the twins) to indifference (Lucy) to somewhat doubtful (Lisa).
"Hmm," Lisa pondered, "While I am willing to accept the valiidity of your story, dear sisters, I must object to the idea that such events could happen again. I simply find the idea of our teenage sister still getting enjoyment out of a program aimed for infants to be rather silly," Lisa added. "if not illogical."
"Lucy?" The older sisters turned to her.
For a moment, the goth girl was silent. On one hand, she could understand where her older sisters were coming from. After all, on top of knowing Lynn better than anyone else (being her roommate and all), she herself was also infatuated with a television character.
On the other hand, Lisa's comment had struck a chord in her, as she was secretly a fan of the Princess Pony comic series and greatly feared the reception her siblings would give her if it was discovered. Giving a small shudder, she lied. "I agree with Lisa. Lynn's too old for Jumbo."
Their older sisters all glared at her.
"Well, I'm not taking any chances!" Lola declared. " Nobody is going to be flinging poop at me. Heaven knows I already have one crazy monkey to deal with." She jabbed a thumb at her twin.
"Count me in too, guys," Lana agreed, either not paying attention to Lola's insult or simply not caring. "So, what's the plan?"
"Well…" Lori said, now sounding a bit more confident, "we have to find out if she actually won the doll for starters."
Right on cue, they all heard the sound of the front door opening. The girls all rushed over to the stairway and looked down.
Lynn could give Lucy a run for her money in terms of gloominess. Her eyes were wide and gleaming with a look of utter misery and her mouth was bent into the largest frown imaginable. It was as if all hope and happiness had left her. She let out a sigh, sounding like she was on the verge of tears, and walked inside.
"Well," Lisa said. "That answers that question."
"Okay, so she didn't win it," Lori actually sounded happy now. "That makes our next step a lot easier: Making her forget about it."
"Just like Pops did," Luna added.
"Nobody mention Jumbo to her," Lori ordered. "Literally not a word."
"Ugh," Lincoln came out of the bathroom, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. "Hey guys, what'd I miss?"