April 1st
Lincoln's eyes opened to the sound of his alarm clock. 7:00AM. It was here, once again. April Fools Day. He gulped. With a shaky arm, he turned off his clock and sat up.
Everything looked normal; nothing was out of place and there was no sign of any intrusion the previous night… but that's exactly how Luan liked it. The better hidden her traps, the better the payoff.
Part of him considered just staying in his bed all day, but the rumbling of his stomach and the fullness of his bladder said otherwise. As much as he didn't want to, he would eventually have to venture outside.
'Calm down, Lincoln,' a thought in his head said. ' She said she wouldn't prank you this year.'
'She said 'I think I'll take you up on that offer,' that's not a definite yes!' another thought protested. 'Besides, would you put it past her to lie?'
Another rumble from his stomach ended the mental debate. Regardless of what his mind wanted, his body needed relief and the last thing he wanted to do was try and hold out the whole day on an empty stomach, much less a full bladder. There were just some things worth suffering for.
Trembling, Lincoln slowly stepped out of bed and onto the floor. He didn't feel his foot land on a building toy piece or in a mouse trap. Getting up, he made his way over to the door, swiftly tapping the knob just to see if it was hot. It wasn't. Slowly, he opened the door.
Eerily, he saw the doors of his sisters' rooms opening as well. Apparently, he wasn't the only one whose body had turned against them.
"Luna," he whispered, "is Luan-"
"Bed's empty," she whispered back.
Great, just what he expected.
He sighed as another ache hit his body. No point in making himself suffer anymore than he already was destined to today. With a deep breath, Lincoln lead by example and walked into the hall.
Nothing. There were no pies or boxing gloves launched in the face, no falling buckets raining down on his head, and no slippery surfaces appearing under his feet.
Daring to believe it, Lincoln made it to the bathroom and did his business. The toilet wasn't greased or stuffed with snakes or alligators and the sink didn't electrocute him when he turned the cold facet.
Could it be?
His bladder now relaxed, Lincoln approached the stairs, his eyes looking left and right for any sign of a rope or rollar skate or glop of unevenly spread butter.
He took his first step and… again, nothing.
"Linky, don't! We love you!" Leni cried.
Lincoln made his way downstairs. At this point, he was so unused to the lack of pranks that he was actually starting to hope for one to pop off. With no hesitation, he crossed over into the kitchen, where a note on the fridge immedately grabbed his attention.
A note that was fastened with a rubber chicken.
Dear Family,
I spent a lot of time thinking last night and, despite the allure of my usual prank spree, finally decided that Lincoln was right; it is time for me to venture outside my comfort zone and land a bigger audience.
Don't worry about the house, I've already got enough to do as is. Lots of ground to cover and lots of people to prank. My only advice: don't open the fridge (or do, if you really want to).
Enjoy this quiet April Fools while you can, because it may be your last (quiet one, that is). Yours truly,
Luan
Lincoln could hardly dare to believe it. Was this for real? Had he actually done the impossible? Only one way to find out and every fiber in his body was telling him to do it.
He opened the fridge…
… and a pie smashed right into the face.
"Guys!" he called, cream and crust dripping off his chin, "We're in the clear!"
Never before had the family been so calm and chill on April 1st.
For his achievement, Lincoln was allowed 24 hour access to the TV, dibs on any food from the fridge, and even a homework pass from Lisa.
"Unbelievable," he said to the screen, "For the first time in history, Luan Loud is NOT pranking us on April Fools Day."
"Thanks to you, bro!" Luna cried, rocking out on her guitar.
Flipping the TV to a marathon of ARRGH, Lincoln folded his hands behind his head and relaxed on the couch, fresh jams filling the air around him.
"Since she's going after all our friends," the boy said to himself, "I wonder what kind of pranks she'll be putting them through."
Meanwhile…
At the mall, Chaz, Tad, and Joey are digging into plates of speghetti in the food court. They pause mid-chew and then scream in horror as fire starts spewing from their mouths. They gulp down their drinks and sigh in relief, only for those to start making them breath fire as well. Desperate to escape the pain, they run and dive in the nearby fountain. Luan in a snorkel mask pops up out of the water and laughs.
Becky and Whitney are walking through the mall when an employee offers them a spray of perfume. The girls nod and the man sprays them. Their faces reel as a horrible, putrid smell engulfs them. They scream and grab their noses as the employee holds up the perfume bottle: Scent of Skunk. He then rips off his mask to reveal Luan. She slips on a gas mask and laughs at them.
Haiku is checking herself out in the mirror, admiring her new gothic outfit. Stepping out of her room for a stroll, her uncovered eye goes from half-closed to wide open as she finds herself facing a cannon, manned by Luan. It fires, revealing itself to be a clothing cannon, as Haiku is now dressed in an extremely frilly Bo Peep outfit, complete with shephard crook, blonde wig, and girly makeup. Her neutral expression shifts to a scowl as a howling Luan snaps a picture of her.
Scoots is getting onto her scooter. She squeezes the throttle and instead of moving forward, it shoots backwards. She sets it for reverse and it shoots forward. Finally, she stops altogether, now looking bewildered, but before the old lady can do anything, the scooter suddenly takes off on its own, freely doing high-speed spins, donuts, wheelies, and jumps while the owner hangs on for dear life. Nearby, Luan laughs as she fiddles with a joystick.
"Oh well," Lincoln shrugged. "I'm sure they can't be that bad."
Rusty Spokes is in his bathroom, spraying hair spray into his mountain of red hair. He opens the door to leave, but doing so pulls a rope attached to the trigger of a blowtorch mounted to the top of the frame. Rusty screams as his hair is lit on fire!
Zach is walking through the park when he suddenly steps in a rope trap. It wraps around his foot and yanks him up into a tree, where he collides with something hanging off a branch. Dangling upside-down, the boy yelps as it's revealed to be a bee hive. An ANGRY bee hive!
Liam is collecting eggs at his farm's chicken coop when one starts to vibrate. He picks it up out of the nest to examine it and it explodes. All the eggs in his basket and the other nests start exploding, launching the chickens into a frightened frenzy.
Girl Jordan is on her diving board. With a final leap, she jumps for a cannonball and lands waist-deep in what is revealed to be an entire pool filled with jello.
Clyde is walking down the street when he hears a meow. He turns and sees a large group of cats following him. More and more cats join the herd as they approach the boy, all purring deeply. Clyde's nose picks up a familiar scent on his clothes and his eyes go wide as he realizes what it is. All the cats pounce on him.
Margo is at the batting cage, raising her bat as the pitching machine starts. It fires a ball and Margo swings, but then another ball is launched early and nails her in the face. As she stumbles back, the machine fires again and again, faster and faster until it's reached the speed of a machine gun, pelting Margo over and over again as she tries to shield herself.
Lainey, Nadia, and Maddie are at the skating ring, practicing for a rollar durby match. As they near a turn, their skates start jiggling and the wheels pop off. Screaming, they all collide into the wall.
On a hill, Flat Tire and Poppa Wheelie are engaged in a bike race. As they gather speed, the handles of their bikes suddenly jiggle and snap off. Startled, the boys try to break, but their chains snap.
The Royal Woods Roosters are suiting up for a practice game. They all pull on their helmets, only to feel something wet and sticky slide out and into their hair. They try to pull them off, only to find them stuck to their heads.
Lindsey Sweetwater, fresh out of the shower, is heading to her closet to pick out an outfit. She opens it and screams as a huge swarm of moths fly out, having devoured all her clothes inside.
Mr Glouse is preparing to enjoy a pan of lasangna. Licking his lips, he pulls back the tin foil to dig in, only to scream as the pan is shown to be filled with rotting meat, spiders, bugs, and flies.
Katherine Mulligan is doing a live news report when a fishhook appears from out of nowhere and snags the back of her coat. The hook is yanked and her entire outfit is ripped off, leaving her in her undies on live TV. Screaming, she covers herself.
At Lynn's Table, Kotaro is coming out of the kitchen with a stack of clean dishes when something snaps his foot. Dropping the dishes, he hops around in pain, noticing a mouse-trap caught on his toe. To make things worse, it's revealed that the entire floor of the restaurant is covered in mouse-traps… and Kotaro has unknowingly hopped into the middle of it. He trips and a hundred traps go off.
Flip is comes out of the bathroom at Flip's Food and Fuel. He pauses as he feels himself step in something gooey and looks down to see a puddle of melted cheese. He looks up and it's revealed that the entire gas station has been flooded with melted cheese. The vents rattle and a flood of hungry rats pour out, engulfing the station and it's screaming owner.
Yikes. Nobody is safe from the Queen of Comedy!