Disturb the Surface: A Ripples in the Pond Rewrite

Chapter 1: A Close Encounter of the ROB Kind

The year was 2016, I was still in my senior year of high school, I was blissfully unaware that Donald Trump was soon to be elected president, and because I'm pretty sure the universe hated me back then or something, I still somehow managed to not have a good day.

It all started pretty much the moment I woke up.

I say pretty much because the day started mostly fine. I slipped my butt-ass naked (save for a pair of Fruit-of-the-Looms) self out of bed, staggered like a drunken zombie over to the bathroom, brushed my teeth in the dark, slipped out of my underwear, and narrowly avoided tripping over the side of the tub because my laziness prevented me from turning on the light. I turned the shower water up to a bearable degree of heat and frowned at the mysterious way it sputtered at least three or four times before unleashing a torrent.

"Hey, Mom?" I shouted down, knowing she was probably up already preparing my lunch for the day. "I think we lost power last night or something! The faucet's acting up!"

Mom's voice, deeper and raspier than normal because of how early in the morning it was, shouted back up. "Yeah, we must have. My clock wasn't set right when I woke up. It kept blinking. I didn't think we had any storms last night, either."

I arched my brow. That… sounded unusual. Muttering to myself that it was probably another chipmunk or squirrel or something that had managed to chew its way through a cord in the power station (because that had happened the previous year), I proceeded with my shower and, a few minutes later, dried myself off.

Stumbling back into my room, I finally decided to give myself some light. After I flicked the correct switch, light flooded my bedroom, though it flickered twice first as though it wasn't certain enough juice flowed through our house circuits.

My bedroom, approximately ten feet wide and deep, felt a little small sometimes but had enough space for everything I needed. Embedded into the south- and east-facing walls, two windows overlooked a wide expanse of the local reservoir and a soybean field respectively; a stereotypically Ohioan landscape if I'd ever seen one. My black desk with shiny cylinder stands sat beneath the south window. To the desk's left and nestled up against the east wall sat my bureau, filled with various items such as old clothing memorabilia, underwear, and a crazy mishmash of Wii U and 3DS games.

I got my clothes on, grumbled to myself about early mornings while returning to the bathroom to shave my hated beard, then packed up my bookbag, hurried downstairs, and headed out to the school bus.

The day proceeded pretty normally until third period study hall, when my bad day really began.

"Come on, Evan," my best friend, Gregory Faldwell, groaned good-naturedly under his breath as we sat together, poring over our Calculus textbook until our heads ached. "When are ya gonna grow out your beard already? It's a shame to shave that thing away! I'd kill to be able to grow one."

"Oh yeah?" I grunted. Greg, built like a lumberjack but without any of the hair, didn't seem to notice how uncomfortably my shoulders scrunched in. "If you want this weak-ass body, you can take it any time, but don't expect me to switch into yours."

"And pass up the chance to laugh in the football team's faces as they try to recruit me for the thousandth time? Please, you can keep it," Greg snorted, which distracted me from the bad feelings brewing in me at the mention of my loathsome facial hair. "Whatever, whatever. At least get a different haircut than that boring line part? Come on, man, even just a half-fro? Prom's coming up and everything!"

I hesitated, staring down at my notebook with my pencil tapping against the paper. "Um… well, I have been considering… maybe growing it out?"

Greg's eyes swiveled to me, taken aback. "What, you mean like, do a Shikamaru-type cut?" He'd just recently started Naruto, and had a habit of comparing things to it. He squinted at me, as if painting a picture in his head, then shrugged and frowned back down at his own notebook. "I dunno, I don't think it'd work on you. You should probably keep it shorter. Hey, are you any good at derivatives? I suck at those."

"No, I'm not, and no, not like a Shikamaru-type ponytail," I stammered, annoyed at his suggestion. "More like, uhhhh, Yu Kanda, maybe?" At his momentarily blank look, I clarified. "You know, D. Gray man?"

An amused snort served as my response. "You aren't a samurai, dude. Come on, you got like, an eighty-five on our last quiz, help me out here."

By this point, my frustration with him soared to an all-time high. "No, idiot," I said, a little more forcefully and with more of a bite than I probably meant to. He looked surprised and a bit hurt, and some other students in the room as well as the teacher were starting to look our way. I didn't really care, though, I just felt really pissed off with him. I stood up and snapped my notebook shut, daring the teacher to ask questions with a pointed glare. "I'm going to the bathroom," I said, and she sighed before nodding.

"Just don't forget to take the hall pass this time," she called after me as I started to stomp out towards the door. Giggles swept over the class, bringing a smearing heat to my cheeks and ears alike. I swiftly changed course and grabbed the pass, trying my hardest to pretend like I was a totally capable mini-adult.

I avoided Greg's concerned looks over the next two periods, even though fifth period was lunch and we almost always sat together since we didn't have many other friends. I sat alone in a corner of an otherwise mostly crowded table. My bad mood boiled over into my glare leveled at my lunch, which contributed to peoples' already seemingly natural desire to avoid me. Being bisexual in a typical rural Ohio high school didn't offer you the biggest potential friend group in the world, but usually Greg was all I needed. Maybe that was why him stupidly telling me that what I wanted wouldn't look good hurt so much, though?

I stabbed several chopped up pieces of lettuce and cucumber and chewed on them with major focus. I didn't notice the guys walking up behind me until I felt a clap on my shoulder and they started sitting beside me, and in front of me.

I glanced up, a piece of lettuce still hanging half-out of my lips. Embarrassed, I sucked it in. The football team's sophomore jocks. Great. They weren't particularly bad people or anything, but man were they annoyingly full of themselves. My eyebrow twitched. "Do you mind?" I sighed. "I was already sitting here."

"And now so are we," Number 13, Jack, agreed. "Hey, Hayden, pass me some salt?"

Hayden snorted and shoved a salt container sliding over to Jack, who grabbed it and seasoned his chicken. "Heh, please isn't in this one's vocabulary."

"Please and thank you," Jack corrected himself, handing it to his buddy next to him whose name I could never remember for the life of me. I had trouble enough remembering Hayden's name most of the time.

"There were plenty of other places for you to sit," I grumbled, stabbing my salad with a bit more force. "Couldn't you have gone there?"

Hayden, Jack, and Jack's buddy glanced at each other, then mutually shrugged. "Here was open, too," said Jack's buddy. I took a deep breath and gave him a deadpan stare.

"Can't you see I want to be left alone right now?" I said with a low growl.

"So what's up with you and Greg anyway?" Hayden forged ahead bluntly like a Spaniard charting a course through uninhabited Mesoamerica, either oblivious to or uncaring that he wasn't welcome. A frustrated groan lifted up from me.

"Not your business."

"Heard you two got into it in third period. Did he say he's finally joining the team?"

"NO!" I snapped, thoroughly fed up. "Do you think about anything other than football?"

That pissed Hayden off, and he twitched before snapping out with, "Do you think about anything other than anime?"

"More than you think about your girlfriend," I bit out under my breath. That was the last straw. Jack and Jack's buddy stood up quickly, but Hayden, way ahead of them, already furiously dumped a cup of applesauce over my head. I froze, not having expected that, and stared up at him. "The hell!?"

"Nobody uses my girlfriend like that!" Hayden snarled. He lobbed a very melty glazed donut at me, but I leaned aside, and it hit the cheek of someone else sitting at the table behind me, who had the misfortune of choosing that moment to turn toward his friend. Because of how much the glaze had melted, as it slid down the guy's cheek, the resulting smear of donut glaze looked… uh, pretty suspect. Honestly, if I wasn't terrified for myself, I would have found that sight extremely amusing.

Even worse, it was last year's Prom King, whose name I just couldn't remember.

The entire cafeteria froze, silence so thick Julia Child might have sliced it up and made a sous vide with it.

"Uhh, sorry, dude, I didn't mean-" Hayden started to stammer, but then someone who sounded suspiciously like Greg yelled-

"FOOD FIGHT!"

Pandemonium broke out. It was every man, woman and enby pal for themselves. While the teachers tried to get a handle on the situation, I used the chaos to slip out, heart pounding. Hayden stood, like, a whole head taller than me, even though he'd been born a year younger! No way could I win that fight; impossible! Sure, I had seven years of karate lessons and tournaments under my belt, but Hayden was a damn football player and ripped like a monster! I quickly ducked back into the closest bathroom to hide, just in case Hayden had noticed that I left.

I slumped against the wall, breathing heavily in an attempt to control my heartbeat. To my left, a large rectangular mirror sat over the row of sinks and I mistakenly glanced into it. I immediately regretted it as my mood plummeted even more. Everything about me… I just didn't like looking at my reflection. I felt too… too… I didn't really know how to put it. Normal, maybe? I stood at a measly 5'7", though I was still technically growing even though I was already seventeen. My brown hair was simply parted to the side because no matter what haircut I used, nothing really appealed to me even though I'd learned to stop hating the barber's by the time I was five. My face felt extremely forgettable. I hated the bits of stubble starting to grow on my chin especially.

It wasn't like I looked particularly ugly or anything. On the contrary, I'd actually been complimented for my looks several times. It just wasn't anything that I liked seeing on me.

In a much worse mood than before I looked in the mirror and desperate for anything to distract me, I dug my phone out of my pocket. I swiped over to the set of apps with Fanfiction's app in it, and pulled it up to read a fic chapter or two, but a notification toast popped up after I launched the app.

Huh, a DM? Not something I got often on the site. I debated whether I should open it nervously, because I really needed something good right now and if it was hate mail that would just not be good for my mental health.

After a short pause, I tapped over to my DMs and opened the new one.

All-Seeing Author:
Howdy hey! I read some of your content and gotta say, for a seventeen year old, you do some good work. Your prose could use a little help, and there are several obvious mistakes here and there, but honestly? In general? Not that bad at all! There's something I've been wanting to see happen for a while now, though, and given our shared interests, I think that you're just the person for the job! Whaddya say?

I furrowed my brow. Huh, a fanfic request? I actually kind of liked the constructive feedback rather than the usual, "haha this shit sux boiiiii" response, so I shrugged. Guess it wouldn't be too difficult to at least hear him out. Since the message had been sent sometime last night (had I really not checked my phone all day? Wow), I didn't expect a quick reply, but I sped my thumbs over the phone screen.

TheRealEvanSG:
Dunno. Guess it depends what it is. I don't really do lemons or anything like that for example, so if you want that, you're gonna have to go somewhere else.

To my surprise, barely a minute passed by before another DM notification popped up while I had just begun to read a new chapter of Tomorrow's Romance Dawn. I blinked, blinked again as the bathroom lights flickered oddly before going out, and pulled open the message.

All-Seeing Author:
It's right up your alley, no worries! Just a fun and only marginally dangerous adventure with pirates, Marines, and everything in between, alongside a healthy dose of the usual Oda insanity. But it's more fun to explain more later, so you in?

…Well, it sounded like it wouldn't be a lemon, soooo… Ah, heck, why not?

My thumbs typed out, 'Sure, what the hell?' and hit enter.

And my entire world turned upside down.

*~* ELSEWHERE *~*

Relaxing on the chair in front of the computer screen, the All-Seeing Author interlocked his fingers and sat back in satisfaction. It felt good to give people what they secretly wished for, and the fact that it was without their knowledge felt all the better. Being a troll, it decided, really was the best occupation. And omnipotent beings could afford to troll as many people as they could want.

It went by many names: Calypso, the Bastard Random Omnipotent Being, Jerry. 'All-Seeing Author' wasn't really its full name at all, but rather a new pseudonym it was particularly proud of. It had chosen it when looking for a new unknowing fanfiction author to make a game out of, and had indeed created its most recent account on Fanfiction using it.

Now, then, it thought, smirking. What should I do next? Hm... it would be fair to warn dear Evan's fans of his… er, their sudden departure...

Another important note about omnipotent beings: being omnipotent, they had the ability to hack into anything they wanted to, seeing as they had all the knowledge in the world. Currently, the All-Seeing Author decided to make use of this fact. It cracked its knuckles, leaned forward, and smirked as it hacked into Evan's fanfiction account, accessed his home page, and started to write a new chapter:

Dear fans,

I am deeply sorry, but due to unforeseen circumstances and a certain All-Seeing Author, I must inform you that I find myself unable to continue writing this story for the time being. Know that I am doing fine, and may one day return with many more ideas due to this sudden adventure, but until then, I must overcome the challenges I am faced with...

*~* CONOMI ISLANDS, EAST BLUE *~*

The year was 2016, I was still in my senior year of high school, I was blissfully unaware that Donald Trump would soon be elected president, and because I'm pretty sure that a certain random omnipotent bastard hated me back then or something, I woke up with a splitting headache and a sensation all over my body like I'd fallen from a very high place, or got ran over by a truck or something.

I woozily picked myself up, rubbing my head and marginally surprised to not touch any blood, just a smattering of caked mud.

"Owww," I groaned, shaking my head to scatter the cartoon birds that were surely flying around me and blinking my far-too-heavy eyelids. "Who turned on the lights?" Bright light blared against my face, which kind of hurt given that I felt like I was still half-asleep. "The hell happened to me, anywa…" As my grogginess faded and my blurry vision focused, the view ahead left me flummoxed. My jaw dropped and I stared unblinkingly at my surroundings. "Uhhh, okay, how am I outside and where in the States has fields of water to irrigate farmland…?"

The area I'd ended up in stretched wide open with only a few scattered trees, most of them swamp cottonwood, which actually made a lot of sense given this environment. The only reason I knew that was thanks to an AP biology course I took, specifically a report I'd been asked to write on a tree species of my choosing. Only most were, though; a few random apple trees popped up out of the water here and there. Huh, I supposed those were ubiquitous…

Let's see, based on the flatness and the obvious farmland (though I couldn't tell what crops were being grown) I could guess… uhhh, inner Florida, maybe? Louisiana? Some Southern state, at least, but the climate didn't appear to be that hot for mid-spring. More sixty-five degrees-ish, actually. I might've even enjoyed the temperature had I not been full-on panicking. How the hell did I get here? Last thing I remembered was the food fight in the cafeteria. Had I been drugged and kidnapped or something!?

Fearing that I'd start hyperventilating, I took a few deep breaths.

"O-Okay, okay, okay, Evan, calm down," I stammered, heart squeezing uncomfortably tight in my chest. First order of business: Were my kidnappers anywhere nearby? I glanced around and saw no one other than myself, standing ankle-deep in a pool of irrigation water with some weird fruit floating a few feet away from me. I was safe for the time being; somehow, I must have managed to escape.

Next order of business; what did I have on me?

A quick glance down said that I had all my clothes on, so thank hell for that. A telltale weight in my pocket spoke to something I hoped to all heck was true. I reached in, pulled out the object tucked away in there, and sighed in relief. "My cellphone!" I croaked, tears of relief building up in my eyes. I wouldn't have to wander aimlessly until I reached civilization! I could call for help, and better yet, I could use my navigator to find my way! I quickly pressed on the power button, but nothing happened. My newfound hope plummeted like someone had tied a sack of bricks to it. "No, no, no, come on!" I begged, giving my only link to the rest of the world a few solid whacks before desperately pressing the button again.

"Oh, thank God," I breathed as the little six-by-three inch screen of my Galaxy Note 8 blinked on. I slumped in relief, only to blink in surprise when a Fanfiction toast popped up from some All-Seeing Author person. I tapped it in confusion.

All-Seeing Author:
Nah, not God, actually, god! Little g, big difference. Well… Anyway, welcome to the start of your new journey~! Happy, fun, exciting, I know! You'll be preeeetty much on your own from here, sooooo I suggest you don't forget to look around you. Haaaave fun, and don't keep me bored! Laterz!

My phone screen shut off as my face froze.

What.

Suddenly I remembered escaping the cafeteria to hide in the bathroom, getting ASA's messages, and… fuck! Pirates, Marines, Oda!? No way, no way, I'd somehow gotten dropped into One Piece!? I had to be dreaming! This was the stuff of my and my online friends' fanfictions! But… if I was dreaming, would it really hurt this much? Seriously, had I been dropped from the sky or something? Nah, I'd probably be dead… maybe my atoms just weren't too happy about being in the wrong universe.

…Wait, did he say to look around? Why? Hadn't I done that already?

I glanced around again, and my eyes landed on that fruit floating in the water next to me.

…No way was that what I thought it was.

I waded closer to it, shoes uncomfortably heavy with water, and stared at my prize. It was a rather large apple that had oddly sharp and almost pointed edges as opposed to being strictly round. Its skin, covered in bulbs like those of a raspberry but with swirly marks on them, had a midnight purple hue that made it appear distinctly unripe.

…Oh.

Ohhhhh.

Okay, I had two options. Option one, I could sell it and make a buttload of money, then live peacefully away from any trouble and maybe go find Ivankov when things settled after the war for, uh. Reasons? Let's go with reasons. Option two: I could sacrifice my ability to enjoy a pool or safely surf for the rest of my life and gain enough power to make a difference in this world and likely die a horrible, painful death.

…Nope, fuck that. I liked living, thanks.

I grabbed the Devil Fruit apple of unknown variety out of the water, tucked it under my arm and started marching out of the irrigation water. Er, more like slogging out of it, actually, because my shoes kept sticking to the mud. New goal: find civilization. Luckily, a path stretched out between my stretch of watery farmland and the stretch opposite me. I just had to pick which direction to walk.

My phone buzzed while still in my hand. Startled, I nearly dropped it in the water and had to haphazardly catch it between my knees. Rather impressed with myself, I looked at my phone, hoping that I was just going crazy and my phone had turned on for real this time.

…Dammit. Another Fanfiction toast from You Guessed It popped up.

All-Seeing Author:
…Ugh, look, I know I said you were going to be on your own, but this is going to be boring. Fine. If you eat the damn apple, I'll give you an Internet connection and endless battery.

I stared at my phone screen for a solid half-minute, then marched forward again.

My phone buzzed again.

All-Seeing Author:
Fucking-! If. You eat. The apple. I will give you. A girl's body. Deal? Or no deal?

…Wait, really?

"You… you have yourself a deal, actually," I blurted out, grinning like an idiot. "Sounds good to me! Just…" I squinted suspiciously at my phone screen. "You better not stiff me."

I hesitated, still doubtful of my new… er. Host's likelihood of actually following through with the deal, but the potential reward was too great to pass up. I'd dreamed of this for ag-

Hoooold up! I'd read one too many genie stories.

"Actually, I want you to rephrase that 'give you a girl's body' bit first."

A short pause drew out, then another buzz vibrated my phone.

All-Seeing Author:

You know, I feel like I oughtta complain about you being picky. I'm not that big of a jackass! But… now that I see it, that's actually a pretty clever loophole. I'll have to remember that one.

OK: you eat that fruit, and as soon as you've figured out your new powers, I will give you the means to turn yourself into a human female of your same age. It'll be in a simple and effective method that you can use immediately with no drawbacks. Aside, of course, from having no way to reverse the process, but that's not a problem for you, is it?

"Yeah, no problem there," I muttered, rereading the words. Satisfied that his (was the All-Seeing Author a he or they? Did BROBs even have gender?) end of the bargain wasn't going to be a macabre grave-robbing trick, I closed my eyes, opened wide, and steeled my nerves before taking a bite of the apple.

"MOTHERFUCK-"

EWWWWW! Ewwww! Seriously, YUCK! Oda did not do it justice how horrible Devil Fruits tasted. I gagged and choked, doubling over as every cell in my being revolted against my poor life decisions. Eyes watering like I'd eaten a large spoonful of wasabi, I only barely managed to not spit the bite back out, and forced myself to swallow.

Having finally shoved it down, I cupped some water from the field in my hands and, not caring if it was safe to drink or not, sucked some down just to wash the taste out. It wasn't enough, though, so I quickly reached for some more, but before I even managed to stick my hands in it, some flowed up between my lips and into my mouth. I blinked rapidly and swallowed it down, then stared down at the water.

Huh?

I reached back down, and a pillar of water rose up to meet me. I blinked again, a surprised choke letting some remaining drops of water fly out from my mouth. My thoughts ran quickly through my head.

Oh. Uhhhh. Whoa, aquakinesis? Seriously? Talk about one hell of a power to get for One Pie-

…And then the train of thought almost instantly broke

OW, WHAT THE-!?

The quick burst of pain ended briefly, but I still rubbed the top of my head as something metallic bounced off of it. I grabbed the offending object with almost catlike reflexes as it fell and only had a brief moment to be impressed with myself before I realized what I held in my hands.

It was a syringe. I tilted my head as I tried to connect the dots, but then I saw the emblem on it: a pair of curving, arrowhead-tipped swords behind a jawless skull with a mop of very iconic blue hair.

My phone buzzed once more.

All-Seeing Author:

A deal's a deal: one dosage of genuine Emporio Estrogen for you. Stick yourself in the torso and it'll be done in less than a minute. It'll also ramp up your endurance levels to be more in line with this world. I'll even toss in changing your clothes for free. Just, ah, again, don't expect this much help all the time.

The disgusting Devil Fruit taste swiftly forgotten, I pulled up my shirt and stuck myself on the side. A pinch spiked pain in my arm, but I gritted my teeth and endured it. I pressed the plunger down. It emptied in five seconds, and I pulled it back out. Nothing happened at first, and the delay was just long enough for me to start feeling livid at being tricked and worried about whatever the hell I had just put in my body.

Then it started. From the area of injection, a weird sensation spread across my body. The best thing I could compare it to? Bubbling water: not painful, but hot, constantly expanding and out of control. I exclaimed as I found myself shrinking, six inches coming off my spine in seconds and new lengths of hair cascading over my back. Gasping, I arched my back as my chest heated up and two nicely sized orbs puffed out. Feeling like a magical girl, I lifted my arms out as my clothing changed, my black Star Wars T-Shirt turning into a deep blue shirt that only came to about my stomach, and my jeans shrinking into a pair of short jorts that accentuated my new curves nicely.

About a minute later, the last tingles left my body, and even my atoms felt comfortable to exist in this new world. When I looked down at my reflection, for once, I actually liked what gazed back. I looked pretty.

"Whoa," I said, and despite my voice already being higher than average for a guy's, it was even higher now. It actually felt naturally high. It felt… good. "Guess he came through…" I… hoped that it was just a recreation of Ivankov's hormones, though, come to think of it.

Still rather stunned, I squeezed my hand testily and then pinched my cheek. Satisfied that it really wasn't a dream, I headed for the path again, grinning wider than I had since I woke up that day. I still had no idea where in One Piece I was, but I was actually in One Piece, I had the potential to get actually hella strong, and most importantly I was a wo-

My attention flew away from me.

…Was that a walking fish?

Multiple walking fish, actually? Wearing Hawaiian shirts and… swim trunks?

I blinked.

Oh. Wait, right. Duh, One Piece. Those were fishmen. Stupid, Eva… Huh, actually, I needed to come up with a new name for myself, but stupid! Obviously they were fishmen! But if fishmen were here, that'd mean there was a civilization somewhere nearby, so without thinking, I marched up to them and waved. "Heeeey! I need a little help over here!" I called out.

The three fishmen paused as they walked along the path and looked at me. Come to think of it, were those faces familiar?

"Hey, Chew, is that one of the villagers?" one of them, a huge guy with very large fins on his arms and with muscles that meant he never skipped leg day, asked one of his friends.

Who names their kid Chew… hold up, Chew? That name's definitely familiar. Ummm…

"Not that I can remember, Kuroobi," the fishman with the extremely long lips repeated, squinting. "She might be a Marine. Or a bounty hunter. Or one of Zoro's gang."

My mouth twitched. Fuuuuck…

"Uh… Zoro! Yeah! I'm one of Zoro's gang!" I bluffed, tensing. "So ya better not mess with me, or he'll cut you down!" I squeaked when the intensity of the way they stared at me only increased, and flinched back.

"So that's what you are," Kuroobi growled. "He cut down a bunch of our brothers, so you're coming with us! Fonti, get her!"

"On it, Kuronii," said an unfamiliar Fishman who looked half Siamese fighting fish. His dorsal fin looked more like a caudal fin, and sported a mostly blood red hue with a white border almost akin to a flower petal. His main body was also mostly red and white, though more of an orange red compared to his fins. His white tie dye tank top stretched over well-built muscle, and his swim trunks struck a vibrant orange color. "I won't even need my Fishman Karate to take this one down."

"No, no, no, wait!" I pleaded, yelping. "It's just a joke, I'm just lost, please don't-"

In a flash, Fonti had launched himself over to me. "Guess we'll see what the truth is when Zoro comes crawling back," he growled, and before I could even react and lift up some water to protect myself, his fist drove into my face.

I must've blacked out from the pain, because the next thing I knew, ropes tied me up in a holding cell, and I did not have my cell phone. Damn, I thought with a bleary blink. I need to stop passing out today. It's getting to be a habit.

Judging by the sound of waves crashing against the shore outside, I guessed I'd been stuck away in Arlong Park. Luckily, this time I actually remembered everything that led up to me getting here, and so was able to deduce that I must have found myself smack in the middle of the Arlong Park Arc on… well, shit, I'd forgotten this island's name. More importantly…

Even though I'd been knocked out by a Fishman, and I was a normal-ass Earth human, my head didn't hurt as much as I thought it would have. Huh. It still ached, sure, just not as bad.

That was… weird. Actually the whole day had been weird so far, but yeah, I'd take it.

I closed my eyes, thinking about what I'd do now. If I judged things correctly, I must have arrived sometime directly after Zoro sliced and diced the Arlong Crew but before Usopp's 'death.' So that meant I would only have to wait a little bit for Nami to come along and hopefully help me out… but that might put her in more trouble and under more suspicion.

What to do, what to do…?

The waves were pretty close… I could feel them. Literally feel them, like, tingling against my mind. Must be my Devil Fruit power. The… Drip-Drip Fruit. Huh, that name just came to me, like, instinctively.

Alright, that's one thing named. Time to name myself now.

…A name came to mind immediately. Alice. Yeah, that felt nice. I had stolen my grandma's name, though, so, uh, sorry for the thievery, Grandma. She was the sweetest person ever and I knew for a fact she'd be supportive of the new me, so it didn't worry me too much. Plus, I… wanted that connection to my family. I hoped I could see them again sometime, but that might not… be for a while… like, a long while…

Sucking in a shaky breath, I pushed the thought of my stolen life aside. If I kept thinking about them, I'd get home sick.

Come on, Ev… Alice. Stick to the current problems.

With a tentative frown, I focused on the feeling of the waves in my mind and tried willing the sea to me, but nothing happened. I got to my feet awkwardly since only my hands were tied, and looked out the barred window of the jail cell. I could see the ocean from here, as well as a bunch of fishmen getting treated on the entrance of Arlong Park for some pretty bad slashes by a fishman doctor. Damn, Zoro… Scary skill. That wasn't what I needed to focus on, though, and my attention turned to the waves. I stared at them and again commanded them to come to me… but in small streams of water that wouldn't be noticed by my captors.

This time, I felt a successful feedback tug from the water. I grinned as I watched a taller than normal wave I summoned crash over the cement outside, break up into many smaller streams, and flow over the ground almost invisibly. It made its way towards my jail cell, climbed up the side of the wall, and flowed through the window, which had no glass pane, only metal bars. Now that it had slipped away from anyone's sight, I formed it into a knife and pictured its edge getting thin and sharp enough to cut even though it was water.

"Come on, come on," I murmured, turning around and holding my wrists up to the floating water knife. With a deliberate push and pull of my arms, slow and methodical, I sawed my hands against the knife-edge. I barked out a quiet laugh of relief when the rope fell away.

Since I now knew for certain how to control water, I decided to go with another test. I turned toward the window, then closed my eyes and thought about turning into water. When I opened them, my body remained flesh and blood. Alright, I reasoned. That answers that question… unless I just missed the memo on how Logia users transformed.

The Drip-Drip Fruit was a Paramecia that offered aquakinesis as its ability, but only for water that the user could see and focus on, or had already seen and was already controlling. It worked over a fairly significant distance, but I could not turn into water and had no way of actually avoiding attacks without physically deflecting or dodging them.

I'd read enough Percy Jackson to know how broken that could still be.

With that in mind, I turned my attention to the door. It had a rectangular peeping hole in it for the fishmen pirates to keep tabs on prisoners, also barred to prevent anyone from reaching through and unlocking it. Luckily for me, I had powers. I peered through the hole to see what kind of lock it was. A padlock. Hmmm. Not having any lockpicking skills proved to be a problem, but I broke apart the formation of the water knife and sent the water through the bars. It flowed out into the keyhole, and I felt around for what I needed to do. I could make out the inner shape of the keyhole based on how I could feel my water reshaping. I felt about four pins.

This… took a while.

I'm not kidding when I say that it was half an hour later when the lock finally popped free.

I pushed the door open, making sure no one was looking my way, and hurried 'round the building's corner.

Okay, I had escaped the jail cell. My heart pounded as I pressed myself as flat as I could against the building. Now what? How the hell could I make it past the fishmen to escape this place? How was I supposed to get my phone back? I guessed I'd have to focus on that last part later. For now, I needed to find a way over the wall surrounding the building.

…Water platforms?

I thought for a moment, then shrugged. Why not? I didn't actually know if I could Jesus my way over water or not yet, but it seemed as good a time as any to find out. I discreetly pulled more sea water from the sea. I noticed that it seemed to take more energy to control the sea water than it had to control fresh water… Made sense given that it's a Devil Fruit power. The water swept off the ground as it neared me and formed stairs that took me up and over the wall surrounding Arlong Park. I climbed them and rested on the top of the wall, moved the stairs to the opposite side, and ran as fast as I could down them and away from Arlong Park.

I was free.

I was free!

I had gotten captured by pirates and freed myself in the middle of one of the greatest stories ever been told. I'd gotten the body I'd always wanted, and I had super awesome powers. I grinned from ear to ear. Even though my phone remained back in Arlong Park somewhere, I was downright giddy with myself! Laughter bubbled up in my throat as I ran and I didn't hold back.

This… this was the start of my career, and damn was I feeling good.

A/N
I have multiple reasons for making this rewrite. First, I still really like my old Ripples in the Pond, but I recognize it has its issues. A lot of people had problems with how often the All-Seeing Author would contact Evan, for example, and while it may not seem like it from this chapter, I will be reducing that a lot. Second, there's a lot of new things I've discovered about myself since writing that story, which I'll be incorporating into this fic.

I'm looking forward to this fun ride with you guys, so stay posted, 'kay~?