Chapter 5

Settling the sale of the house in Stockton was not as upsetting to Linda as she thought it would be. "I guess it never really did feel like home," she told Jarrod, as she looked at the draft in the name of Linda Desmond as they were leaving, she said, "I guess I never really did feel like someone named Linda Cain either."

Linda opened an account at the bank in the name of Linda Desmond and left Linda Cain behind forever. She then asked Jarrod if he would take her to her husband's grave. She had never seen it, and she had gotten used to the idea that this would be the only time she would ever see it.

Adam was buried in the town cemetery under the name Adam Desmond. "I didn't think anyone knew his real name when he died," Linda said, surprised to see the headstone.

"I knew," Jarrod said.

Linda looked at him. "You had this stone made? That fast?"

"I pulled some strings," Jarrod said. "They erected it yesterday. I got his birthdate from the State Bar when I checked on you."

Linda took his hand and squeezed it. "Thank you. I'll repay you – "

"Let's talk about all that later," Jarrod said.

"You do still owe me a bill for representing me in all this."

"We'll talk about that after Los Angeles and when we decide on a partnership or not."

"When we get to Los Angeles, I'll recommend some people you might want to talk to, people I've done work for," Linda said.

"All right," Jarrod said, and now squeezed her hand. "Right now, I'll leave you to say your good-byes to Adam. I'll meet you at the gate, and we'll head home. There's someplace there I want to take you before we go to Los Angeles."

Jarrod left her there alone but could still see her as he waited at the entrance to the cemetery. He hadn't even realized he was going to take her to see Beth's grave until he had seen her here. He knew it was time now to talk about Beth. She needed to know about Beth – everything - before they went to Los Angeles – in case she wanted to change her mind about being his partner, in any way.

They had lunch at the ranch before they changed clothes to go riding. Victoria noticed Jarrod was somewhat subdued while Linda was looking somewhat relieved, like closing on the house and visiting her husband's grave had helped her get further down the road of grieving. Victoria suspected by his attitude that Jarrod was going to explain Beth to her this afternoon, but she decided to say nothing at all about it unless he brought it up at some time.

Jarrod took Linda down that path she had seen and suspected led to a graveyard. They dismounted there and Jarrod tethered the horses to a tree before he led Linda to the edge of the tiny graveyard surrounded by a low white fence and flowers.

"This is my father, Thomas Barkley," Jarrod said. "We buried him here because this is the spot he was killed at, murdered during our battles with the railroad. Assassinated is probably a better word. A hired killer shot him because he was somewhat the leader of the local ranchers and farmers resisting the railroad's attempts to take their land illegally. I'll tell you more about him another time – there's a lot to tell. Right now, I want to tell you about my wife, Elizabeth Randall Barkley."

Linda squeezed his hand but only listened as he explained how they met, how they married, how Cass Hyatt came into the picture and how he murdered her while trying to murder him. Jarrod did not get into where this happened. That was still too private.

But he did describe what happened afterward, the monster he became, how he scarcely even remembered that man. He didn't remember the long hunt to find Hyatt, but he did remember finding him in Rimfire, Nevada, and he did remember he was killing him when his brothers interfered. "And I didn't even realize at the time who they were. They were just stopping me from murdering Hyatt. I pulled my gun on them and I pulled the hammer back and I was ready to use it until Nick told me I'd have to kill him to get to Hyatt. And then I realized who I had become, and I couldn't kill my brothers no matter how much I wanted to kill Hyatt. I walked away, and I honestly don't remember the days after that until we got home and I did some very serious thinking."

Jarrod stopped then for a long minute, still just staring down at Beth's grave. Linda still didn't say anything, but she didn't let go of his hand.

Jarrod eventually said, "Representing you, I came to know who you are, probably more completely than anyone other than your husband ever did." He finally looked away from the grave and at Linda. "I needed you to know who I am. I needed you to know about Beth and about who I became, because if we are going to be partners – in any way – you need to know me, maybe as well as you knew Adam."

Linda thought about the way he put that, and she admitted to herself that she was shaken by his story. But she was very moved, too, that he would confide in her this deeply. She digested what he said, thought about what else she needed to know, and finally asked, "Have you ever wanted to kill anyone other than this Hyatt?"

"No," Jarrod said quickly. "I told you before I have killed, but only in war or in defense of myself or someone else. I pray every night and every morning that I'll never find that ugly monster inside myself again, but I'm not a fool. He's there. The only thing I know for sure is that I know what it took to make him come out. I pray that awareness is what will keep him from coming out again."

Linda looked down at Beth's grave. "You might not believe me, but I think I do understand. It was something different inside me that made me willing to give Adam that gun. It wasn't a monster, but it was something I pray to God I'll never have to find within me again. Just as you pray you'll never find that monster you became again."

"If what I've told you changes your mind about partnering with me – "

"No, it doesn't," Linda said quickly. "You told me you've never hurt a woman, and you've only killed in war or in defense of yourself or someone else, and I believe you. I saw that in my husband. Like you said at my trial, he killed himself partly in defense of me. You're like Adam in many ways."

Jarrod said, quietly, "You're like Beth in many ways."

She looked up at him, and the invitation was there, but one that still held a little reluctance, and for that matter Jarrod still felt a little reluctance too. She was a new widow. He was a widower and they were standing at his wife's grave.

But there was something there they couldn't completely deny. Jarrod lifted her chin and kissed her, very lightly and not for long. Linda smiled, and said, "Let's get back to the house. We have packing to do."

XXXXXXX

In the morning, the rest of the Barkleys saw Jarrod, Linda and Victoria off on the train. They traveled first class to San Francisco, where Jarrod confirmed the family car was ready to be coupled to the train to Los Angeles the next morning. They got a hack to Jarrod's house –

Where Linda got an eye opener. It wasn't a large townhouse, but it was in a nice neighborhood, and a black man opened the door with a big smile.

After Jarrod and Victoria both greeted him, Jarrod said, "Linda, this is Charles. He keeps my home here and me oriented. Charles, this is Mrs. Linda Desmond, who may become my new law partner."

"How do you do, Mrs. Desmond," Charles said and took her bag and Victoria's while holding the door open with his back.

Jarrod escorted the women in, saying, "I met Charles years ago when he was porter for the railroad who looked after me there. Then I lured him away to work for me here, which wasn't hard because he has a wife and children here he'd rather spend time with than travel all over the country without."

"I'm pleased to meet you, Charles," Linda said.

Jarrod asked Charles to take the ladies' bags up to the two guest rooms upstairs. Charles said there was coffee on the stove if anyone wanted any.

Linda looked around at the small living room and dining room to the rear, figuring the kitchen was off the dining room. The place looked very comfortable, and very much like a man lived here alone. No flowers, no knick-knacks, only pictures of the family on the mantle. And a picture of Jarrod and Beth together, nicely dressed. Maybe a wedding picture? Linda thought Beth was a beautiful young woman, but she didn't dwell on looking at it.

On either side of the fireplace, there were bookshelves that contained books – and only a few were law books. Linda spotted some by Thoreau, Darwin, Poe, and English poets. Aside from the books, some artwork on the walls, the photos on the mantle and a couple of ashtrays on an end table and coffee table, the room was quite empty. Victoria noticed how Linda was looking around and said, "As you can see, Jarrod is somewhat spare in his own living quarters."

"You choose your reading well, Jarrod," Linda said.

"Feel free to read what you like this evening," Jarrod said. "I asked Charles to prepare dinner for us here, given we had a long trip here and another long trip facing us over the coming days."

"Charles is an excellent cook," Victoria said.

"And I could use a relaxing evening," Linda agreed.

After dinner, after Charles went home, the three of them sat together and talked in the living room, about Los Angeles, about Linda's practice there. Victoria was prompted to talk about Tom Barkley a bit. As time began to slip away, so did Linda. She fell asleep on the sofa beside Victoria.

"Considering everything that's happened to her in the past few weeks, it's pretty natural that she's exhausted," Victoria said. Then she shook her softly. "Linda?"

"Hm?" Linda said, moved and woke up, surprised. It took a moment to realize where she was. "Oh, I'm sorry – I fell asleep!"

Victoria said, "I believe it's time for us to turn in anyway. Why don't you let me help you upstairs?"

"Thank you, Mrs. Barkley," Linda said and slowly got up with Victoria.

"I'll give you ladies time to get into bed before I come up," Jarrod said, standing up as they did.

"Good night, darling," Victoria said and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Good night," Linda said and smiled.

Jarrod watched them climb the stairs together and smiled himself.