Thomas tried to gather his thoughts and find a way to improve his relationship with his daughter. He needed to find a way to show her that he was there for her. He wanted to build a connection with his child, but it was not as easy as he had thought. He didn't understand his child. Just a few minutes ago, she wanted him to play with her, and in the next moment, she replaced him with a dog. On top of that, his child wished him dead. What had he done wrong? Emma had everything she needed: a roof over her head, warm meals every day, toys, and well-kept clothing.

The child's wish spread like wildfire among the staff. Without a doubt, O'Brien gossiped, but Thomas had more important things to do. He was looking for the blonde maid. It took him a great deal of courage to ask her for advice.

"Anna?" he asked, "Do you know how... what Emma might... I would like to..." he stammered.

"How you can bond with your daughter? What Emma likes and how you can win her over?" she pieced together his questions. Thomas nodded in agreement.

"I heard what she said to you," she sighed, "Emma loves you and spoke highly of you in your absence. Every time a letter arrived..." Anna smiled at the memory, "she was overjoyed. She likes it when you read her books, enjoys playing with her toys, and once, she played 'tea party' with William, Daisy, and her stuffed animals." Anna took a deep breath, "You need to be more present in her life."

"I'm trying," Thomas replied.

"Thomas," Anna intentionally addressed him by his first name, "Emma is disappointed in you. She has believed that you were the best father in the world, and Mrs. Hughes has held that perception very high... since you returned, you hardly pay attention to your child – only when it suits you – do you remember your words from back then when you convinced all of us why Emma shouldn't go to the orphanage? Because you can give her a better and safer future. And you are doing that, but it takes more than just a roof over her head… you know what hurts the child the most? That you don't reciprocate her love. You never have."

Thomas stared at Anna in shock. But he did love his daughter – his little dwarf – he had never intended to disappoint Emma. He had simply been so unsure of how to fulfill his role as a father that he had often withdrawn and didn't know how to interact with her.

His daughter was far from having everything she deserved; she lacked love. More specifically, she lacked the unconditional love that a father can give to his child. While Thomas had learned from his experiences that the people who entered his life had been waiting for an opportunity to stab him in the back, once they found out he was different – homosexual – they treated him with nothing but hatred and disgust. But that mistrust did not excuse his distant behavior towards his innocent daughter. Was he keeping her at a distance because she had already been influenced at a young age by Anna, William, Bates, Carson, and Hughes? Or was it to protect himself from the pain if Emma were to one day discover the truth about him and want nothing to do with him?

Then he would have to learn to cope with that pain if it ever came to that, but his child should not have to live with the feeling that he doesn't love her. He knows exactly how it feels when love is not reciprocated. His own father stopped loving him on the day he found out that he loved men. From that day on, his father treated him with hatred and disgust.

In the library of his lordship, he borrowed a children's book. Outside in the grand garden of the Crawleys, he found his child as well. Lying on the flower meadow under the tree with the dog, Isis, she stroked her behind the ears.

"I found a good book," Thomas spoke nervously. "Would you like me to read it to you?"

The girl neither looked up at him nor responded to his question. Uncertain, the sergeant stood before a 6-year-old who simply ignored him. "May I sit next to you?" he tried his luck again. In the end, the girl nodded and granted him a free spot right by the tree, where he leaned against it. In elaborate handwriting, ‚Alice in Wonderland' was written on the old book cover. It depicted a drawing of a young girl. Emma tried to suppress her curiosity and quickly averted her eyes back to the dog.

Thomas cleared his throat before simply reading the first paragraph, "Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do. Once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it..." When he reached the part about a white rabbit with a pocket watch and a waistcoat, the child finally looked up at him, peering into the book in hopes of finding a drawing. In the process, their hands brushed against each other, and the girl's upper body nestled against her father's.

It was a strange feeling for Thomas. Suddenly, he felt a certain warmth around his heart. Although the child was only interested in the story, it was a beginning. Not just any beginning, but THE beginning of a father-daughter relationship.

"What happens when she reaches the bottom?" she asked, completely fascinated by the book.

"Would you like to continue reading?"

Emma reached for the book as Thomas lifted the child onto his lap. Emma leaned comfortably against him, and Thomas placed his arm across her as if securing her from falling off his lap.

"Then suddenly she came upon a heap of leaves and br..." she looked at him for help, "branches," Thomas replied, mindful of what the child wanted to ask. "Branches lying on the ground..." Emma continued with the reading.

Thomas attention was fully focused on her, rather than the book. Almost contemplatively, he observed his daughter. She was simply the perfect blend of her parents. His heart filled with pride and love as he gazed at her features. The way her freckles were scattered over her nose and her blue-gray eyes, so reminiscent of his own, amazed and grateful him at the same time. Thomas let his thoughts continue to swirl in his head as he listened to Emma's gentle reading. A mixture of guilt and responsibility weighed on his shoulders. He had kept his heart closed off from love for so long that he had forgotten how important it was to give and receive it.

He gently pushed a strand of Emma's hair behind her ear, even daring to press a kiss on her slender forehead. Surprised, she looked up at her father expectantly. She recognized the contemplation in his eyes and felt the slight uncertainty in his touch.

"I..." Thomas pondered how to express his affection. He cleared his throat lightly and pulled Emma closer to him. He rested his forehead against hers and whispered softly, "You must know, my little dwarf, that I… I love you more than anything... I'm sorry if I sometimes don't show you enough how much you mean to me. But I really do love you."

Sometimes? Thomas was firmly convinced that he had never said the words ‚I love you' to his daughter. Perhaps he mentioned it in one of his letters, but he had never conveyed his love to her verbally. In that moment, Thomas felt blessed and fulfilled. The fatherly love that blossomed within him was a precious gift that he wouldn't want to be without.

He had hoped for a reaction from his child, but all Emma did was look back at the book and continue reading. It was only a few sentences later that the young girl glanced back at her father's eyes, which she thought seemed quite sad. "I love you too, Daddy, and I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it. I was angry and sad."

"It's okay," he explained. "I'm not a good father. I suppose I deserve it."

Once again, the girl turned silently, devoting her attention to reading the next sentences.

Thomas felt a pang of regret in his heart as he saw Emma turn back to the book. He had hoped that his words would have a greater impact on her, that she would hug him or at least put on a smile. He took a deep breath and decided to be patient. He had once vowed to love and protect his daughter unconditionally, and he would do so regardless of her reaction in that moment. He understood that she needed time to process her feelings and emotions.

He gently let his hand glide over Emma's back, feeling her lean into his touch. He was grateful for this small gesture of closeness and promised himself to continue being by her side, even when it was difficult and challenging.

As Emma continued reading, Thomas focused his attention on her voice. He listened to the words that brought the imaginative world of the book to life and was touched by her innocence and charm. It was a special moment of connection between father and daughter, and Thomas vowed to cherish and enjoy these moments.

Their tender moment was interrupted by Lord and Lady Grantham, who had returned from their walk in the garden. Isis, the dog, wagged her tail excitedly, happy to see her owners.

"I see you've borrowed a book from the library," Lord Grantham remarked, noticing the book in Thomas's hand.

"A wonderful choice. Lady Sybil loved that book when she was a little girl. Do you remember, Robert?" Lady Grantham reminisced, walking alongside her husband. From a distance, they could still hear Lord Grantham's response, "Oh yes, we used to read a chapter every evening before bedtime. And when we finished the book, we started reading it again."

Emma rested her head on Thomas's shoulder, gazing up at the sky. For a moment, she let the book and her thoughts of Wonderland fade away. Instead, she contemplated the sadness of war. "War is stupid," she voiced her newfound realization. Then, with a touch of innocence, she asked, "Do you think where William is now, it's beautiful?"

Unable to provide a direct answer, Thomas held his daughter a little closer. "I don't know," he admitted, "Do you miss William?"

Emma nodded slightly, tears streaming down her cheeks. She placed her hands on Thomas, gently touching his damaged hand. It twitched slightly, a reflex from the unaccustomed touch. Thomas looked down at his daughter, his heart aching for her. He had witnessed her longing for William. He understood the pain of missing someone deeply, "It's okay, Emma," Thomas spoke softly, his voice filled with empathy. "I'm sure wherever he is, it's a beautiful place."

Emma looked up at her father, her tear-stained face revealing her vulnerability. "But Daddy, I wish he was here with us. I miss him so much!" As Emma continued to cry, Thomas gently wiped away her tears, his touch as tender as a feather. "It's okay to feel sad, my little dwarf," he assured her, "Losing someone we care about is never easy. But we can hold onto the memories we shared with him."

He held her tightly, his embrace providing solace and comfort, "Emma, I want you to know that when I returned from the war," Thomas pondered the right words, "Your life continued while life on the front stood still. Suddenly, you had a close relationship with everyone except me. I was overwhelmed. I simply didn't know how to build a close relationship with my own daughter. I suppose I kept you at a distance because I was afraid you didn't want me as a father. I mean, my work hardly allows me to spend time with you during the day..."

"Dad," she whispered, "Can we read a chapter every night, just like Lady Sybil and Lord Grantham?"

Thomas's heart swelled with love and gratitude. "Of course," he replied, his voice filled with warmth. He realized that it would take time and effort to earn Emma's trust and affection, but he was willing to do whatever it took to be the father she deserved.

AN: Thank you so much for all your comments! What do you think? Has Thomas changed? Has he learned from his mistakes, or will he continue to keep his distance? Only caring for Emma when he feels like it?