You initially decline the invite to join the Hellfire Club for the weekend. You say you don't want to intrude on our fun because you won't understand any of it. Nothing I say works.

Will is the one who wears you down. He was your favourite, Gareth tells me in a hushed tone as Will works his magic the day before our session. Within the hour, you cave and agree to come. I'm man enough to admit it makes me a little jealous that Will could convince you when I couldn't. But then he's known you longer. Besides, there's nothing to worry about since you still see him as a little kid, and he's happy with Gareth.

I'll ask for notes in case I need to persuade you next time.

Everyone turns up. It's a big group, and all eight of us just about fit into my small living room. You end up perched on the edge of my chair, leg dangling between mine and occasionally knocking into me, like a reminder you're there. Like I need reminding. It takes every ounce of willpower not to give you what you want and focus on the game.

The others notice and give us shit for being lovesick. I don't care. Neither do you because you only laugh and kiss me.

"Come on, Eddie, none of us bring our dates along. We're supposed to be playing!" Jeff groans when you flick my ear playfully, distract me from the dice roll. Despite the fact Will is whispering in Gareth's ear, and he's going red. "Steve, it's a good thing the kids like you; otherwise, we'd be kicking your ass out."

You laugh as the younger boys groan and roll their eyes at still being referred to as 'kids'.

"Alright, alright, no more kisses," I announce, your lips pouting against my cheek before you pull away. "Sorry, Jeff, a fifteen isn't enough. You take thirty damage."

"Come on!"

I shrug, a flush creeping on my cheeks when you laugh in my ear and whisper, "It's so hot when you take charge."

"Go sit on the couch," I tell you as Mike takes his turn, and you bite your lip but obey, get off the chair. You do leave me, but not before kissing me again to a general chorus of groans. "Go."

"Yes, sir."

"I knew it was a bad idea to invite Steve," Will laughed.

You stay seated on the couch for the rest of our game, your eyes burning into the back of my head. It's hard to ignore. Sometimes I fail, catch your eye, and you smirk.

The game runs over, no surprise. Every decision takes five minutes of discussion. I had forgotten what it was like playing this back during high school. Those were the days, no worries except trying to graduate for the third time.

But now I know you were there too. How hadn't we met before? You used to pick them up after our sessions. Divine intervention must have been at work to keep us apart for so long. You've known the kids longer than I have. The way they all look up to you honestly makes me a little jealous.

When it's finally over, and the Dracolich is dead, it's late. Mike yawns, setting off a chain reaction around the table. "Eddie, can we crash here tonight?"

"Don't you have parents to get home to?"

"They know where we are." He's a little shit, and he knows it when he grins. "Please?"

Maybe I'm as bad as you, Steve, because I cave immediately. "Fine. You guys fight over the sofa. I'll get the camp bed."

Gareth and Will leave soon after. They don't have as far to go, and we'll see them tomorrow at the shop anyway. It's not like you won't be staying the night too, Steve. I can see it in the way you help Dustin, Mike, and Lucas set up the room. Jeff and Michael say their goodbyes too, and once the three younger ones are settled in, we sneak upstairs.

"You should turn those stories into a book. I bet it would sell well. They're amazing."

"You're just saying that to stay in my good books."

You laugh and grab my hand to lead the way upstairs. "Maybe. Where's your uncle?" You whisper, even though he's not here and the others are still awake.

"Poker night. He won't be back until morning."

You nod, push me against the wall and smile. "So nobody is upstairs?"

"No, but three teenage boys are downstairs."

"Ugh. Buzzkill." You pull away, disappear into my room. By the time I join you, you're shirtless on the bed, propped up on your elbows and waiting. "Get over here already."

"Steve…"

"You don't want me?" It's a casual question, asked in a teasing voice, but I see the truth in your eyes. You're genuinely worried I might not.

"Don't want you?" I reply in the same inflection. The mood kept light as I approach the bed and grab your ankle to pull you flat on your back. "I still can't believe you're my boyfriend sometimes. And I can't believe it took us so long to find each other. How can we both know those buttheads but never have met?"

"Maybe we weren't ready to meet. I was an asshole back in high school, you know."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, I was so far in the closet I didn't even know it. The first time I had sex with a guy, it was some kind of revelation." You laugh softly, smile up at me as I move to kneel over you. You're gorgeous, Steve. How could you ever think I'm not attracted to you? "But guys are crueller than girls. If they don't give a shit, they don't bother hiding it. Turns out I was an idiot, and I'm only just realising it."

"You're not an idiot. You just fell for the wrong guy."

Tears fill your eyes, and you quickly wipe them away. You take a shuddering breath, pull me down hard so you can wrap your arms around me and sniffle into my chest. Oh, Steve, Tommy really hurt you, didn't he?

"Can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

You hesitate. When you speak, your words are so soft they are almost lost in the room. "I've never been in love. I thought I had once. Now I'm not so sure. Have you ever been so sure of something for so long only to have it ripped out from under your feet? You'd think I'd feel lost or something, but I don't. I feel free. It wasn't a choice, it was a trap, and I willingly put myself there. He was never gonna choose me."

"Tommy?"

A beat. A breath.

"Yeah," you whisper, tears finally breaking free to roll down your cheeks. "Remember what I told you about him and… me? Now I know I was just easy access for him. Say a kind word, and Steve opens his legs."

Almost word for word. You mirror Tommy in all the wrong ways. You emit light and warmth, but Tommy… he only bled darkness. He suffocated you. He took your trust, your heart and broke it. The pieces are still trying to fit back together, aren't they?

"Steve," I reach for you, and you don't flinch away when my thumb finds your cheek, soaks up your sadness. "Your friend was an asshole. You deserve better. You deserve someone who isn't afraid to love you out loud."

You don't notice my slip-up, thankfully. You only press my hand against your cheek, your lips curving against my palm. "Yeah? You think someone loves me like that?"

"I know they do."

Finally, our eyes meet. Yours are full of misgiving, but I hold your gaze. You understand. You soften, drop my hand and lunge forward to crash us back. The bed hits the wall with a loud bang, but I barely hear it over your laughter. You lean in close, lips brushing my ear to whisper, "I think I might be a little in love with you, Eddie."

Music to my ears. You love me.

"I might be a little in love with you too."

When our lips meet, it's different. You love me. The kiss means something, Steve. It's a promise. I will never hurt you, and you will never hurt me. We're in this together now.

I love you. Nobody can take you away from me. Tommy couldn't. Robin won't, and for me… there's no one left to hurt us. I take care of my business, Steve and I'll take care of yours too.